You Don't Have To Stand Alone
by gamerchic
Summary: Two people, separated by time and space. They each stand alone and survive by believing that they need no one. Imagine that these two people find each other and in doing so they find that they can stand together. NOT a retelling of the game! Anders/OC
1. Chapter 1 Allison

*Ok, so this is my second fan fiction (ever) after writing The Fate of Wolves. This Anders story has been in my head from the beginning too and it **demanded** that I write it. I'll ask you to please read what the story is about before dismissing it as another 'girl from our time travels to Thedas' because it's not that simple.

This is less about the adventures of Kirkwall than it is a story about two people coming together. It's a personal story, not a "game" story. There _will_ be some characters that we all know and love from DA2 but this is about Anders and Allison. I hope you give it a try and I hope you enjoy it. **Please review****, I'd really appreciate it**…*

(Also: I don't have a set place in mind where this story is going like I did on The Fate of Wolves so be patient as I work it out. The story will be a little rough until I find my feet.)

Also I want to thank TwixtNightAndMorn for letting me bounce ideas off of her. We both have chronic health problem and I wanted to write an OC character that dealt with real life. Twixt is an awesome person and you should check out her fiction.

**Summary: Imagine that there were two people, separated by time, space and their own private torments. They each stand alone, and they survive by believing they need no one. Imagine that these two people find each other and in doing so, they find that they don't **_**have**_** to stand alone, they can stand together.**

**Dragon Age 2 - Anders/Female OC very AU story**

**Rating may change depending on how things go.**

***Woops forgot my disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age, I own Allison :) ***

**You Don't Have Stand Alone**

**Ch.1 – Allison**

She hated taking meds. It seemed like an endless part of her day: Delicious meds in the morning, and more yummy ones at night. Wakeup the next day, rinse and repeat. But, she needed them to function like a human being. Epilepsy, what a hoot!

It was night and it seemed as she lay in bed, that she was the only person in the world at that moment. At least that's how it felt. Her job as a caterer kept her busy. She wasn't an artist like a painter or a sculpter but she like to think that she made art in the kitchen.

There was something very relaxing and centering about gathering herbs and spices, seeking out the best ingredients and putting them together in new and exciting ways.

She had a lot of work catering weddings and parties and she dreamed that one day she could open up a restaurant of her own.

Allison wasn't sure if she could attain that dream but she wouldn't give up on it. Her business partner Dee helped her to keep hope alive.

At times like this though, when she was alone, it was a different matter. She felt the weight of her life pressing in on her. Things she had no control over, pushed out happier thoughts and sometimes she couldn't pull herself out of the darkness in her mind.

Tonight the darkness weighing on her was the night itself. Things were so quiet and she felt more alone than usual. She wanted…what _did_ she want? She wasn't the "Woe is me!" type and she didn't tell people about her problems. She was an adult, she handled things on her own and she didn't cry over things that couldn't change. But _tonight_…tonight she just wanted someone to **be** with.

She wondered what it would feel like to just have someone there, someone who would just sit with her and accept her, with all of her imperfections and strengths and her frailties.

Was that bad? Was it so wrong to want that kind of connection just once in her life?

She had always been just a little out of step with the world. It seems that since the moment she came into the world, her brain had worked on a different frequency. She saw things a little different than everyone else and the beat she was marching to was _definitely_ a different tune than the rest of society!

She was ok with that actually. She _liked_ being different. That is, until people found out about her and then gave her strange looks and spoke slowly and carefully like they were afraid she was going to do something uncomfortable, like have seizure or something. _Then_ she became angry and self-conscious. That was _not_ ok!

As Allison stared at the ceiling of her apartment, watching the shadows cast by the streetlights march across the dark, she felt a hollowness in her chest that spread into her stomach. She didn't know what it was, but it **hurt**.

She turned over restlessly, tugging the covers in agitation. This was _not_ her! She was _not_ some clingy woman who needed…anybody! She was complete in herself. She had a good job, and goals in life and that was enough. She had friends at work and people she went to the movies with… sometimes. She wasn't a social pariah, she was just…self-sufficient.

As Allison felt her medication finally start to kick in, she wondered who she was trying to convince, the Universe or herself?


	2. Chapter 2 Anders

**You Don't Have To Stand Alone**

**Ch.2 – Anders**

He had escaped the Templars another day.

It seemed the Maker had favored him once again. He had been allowed to run his clinic, giving free aid to the seemingly endless stream of Ferelden refugees that occupied the slums of Kirkwall. They were pressed into every corner, every alleyway. Some begged, others took work where they could find it, even if it was dangerous, life-threatening work that others wouldn't do.

His last patient of the day had just returned home; a nasty case of infection. A man from Ferelden who had taken a job mining ore. He had fallen and been gouged by a piece of jagged metal. The wound was bad enough, and the man had tried to wrap it himself and keep working, but infection had set in quickly. His wife had dragged the poor man to Anders' clinic with the help of some fellow refugees. Thank the Maker that she had, because her husband surely would have died within a day.

It was dark now and the clinic was quiet. The only sounds that reached his ears were the sounds of the rats scurrying about his quarters and the occasional cry of a child from the streets outside.

Anders made his way to the back of the clinic to what could loosely be called his "bedroom". It consisted of an old cot, a battered writing desk, a table for mixing poultices and some shelves that held herbs and other ingredients for medicines.

He was so tired, the sudden weariness coming over him, almost making his knees give way.

He sat slowly on the cot, the lumpy mattress providing little comfort, as he began undressing for the night. He always slept in a long shirt and breeches in case he was called out for an emergency _or_, in case he needed to make a quick exit should the Templars decide that his status as a Grey Warden was no longer enough to protect him from their reach.

Anders was aware that someday they would find a reason to come after him openly and then he would be forced to flee. But for now, he could do some good here.

The poor needed his help and it felt good to be able to use his Maker-given gift of healing. It felt nice to heal just for healing sake and _not_ because of being in a battle slaughtering darkspawn.

Leaving the Wardens had been one of the best decisions of his life and it hadn't taken seven tries to be successful.

Leaving his boots at the foot of his bed, Anders laid back and watched the darkened sky from the window that was carved out high in his wall. The moon shone into his bedroom and Anders tried to find some peace in the soft glow.

The night could be beautiful and it could be deadly. He never knew if he would be able to sleep through it or if someone would beat on his door needing his help. Maybe tonight would be a good night. Maybe tonight he could find some peace.

He almost laughed out loud at his own musings. What peace was there for an apostate mage? He felt Justice stir at the thought and for a brief moment he was angry.

To be taught from birth that your very existence was an abomination was cruel and unfair. To be torn away from your family without understanding why, only to be locked up in a tower full of guards who felt their sacred duty was to murder you if you broke the rules!

The anger was overwhelming him, filling his heart with hatred and he needed to calm down.

Anders watched the moonlight again and for a moment an intense longing filled him.

He missed _people_. He wanted _friends_. No, he had friends… of a sort.

There was Varric, a dwarf born on the surface whose two favorite things were telling stories and having a _very_ strange relationship with his crossbow. There was the pirate, Isabela, but Anders wouldn't call her a friend. She was more of an…acquaintance, an acquaintance who could drink most men under the table and was better at cards than honesty dictated.

Anders had met her once in Denerim. He had been a different person then. They had been re-introduced through Varric and sometimes they shared drinks at The Hanged Man in Lowtown. Anders never charged for his services and Varric had been kind enough to put the mage on his tab.

Isabela had scoffed at Anders immediately when she found out he ran a free clinic. She didn't understand why he wouldn't charge for something that people couldn't get anywhere else. She compared it to the trick she had seen him do with a woman at The Pearl in Denerim. It had involved electricity from his fingers and…nevermind he thought. Those had been different times and he was no longer that man. Was he even a man anymore he wondered?

He watched the soft light of the moon shift over his head and the longing hit him again.

He wanted more than a friend, he wanted…a _companion_, someone he could share himself with, _all_ of him. Someone who wouldn't care that a spirit of Justice shared his body. Someone who wouldn't _care_ that he was an apostate! Surely his desire was natural? Didn't everyone long for such things, a connection to another person?

But he _wasn't_ a normal person, he never had been. He was an apostate mage, an escaped Grey Warden. He would have to make do with helping those he could. That would have to be enough.

He was so weary, maybe tonight he could find some peace in the Fade.


	3. Chapter 3 Allison

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Ch.3 - Allison

Today had been rough. Her workload the past week had been especially heavy and she needed to get away from people for a while. An acquaintance from her gym had asked her to join some of them for drinks but she had begged off claiming that she had paperwork to do at home. The truth was that she just wanted to get outside of a building for a while. Four walls seemed like a prison right now and so when Allison got home, she changed clothes and decided to go for an evening hike.

The days were longer now and she would be able to get a good walk in before dark. There was a good trail not too far from her apartment and if you didn't mind roughing it a bit, there was a nice clearing with some pretty trees growing amongst the rocks.

Allison had her backpack with her just in case she needed her meds and a fresh shirt if she got really sweaty.

As she hiked, pushing back branches and walking over fallen roots, she breathed in the clean air. This was what she had needed! Fresh air and no one calling her cell because of a party emergency!

She made it to the clearing and it wasn't even dusk yet. She would have enough time to sit for a while before heading back to her car so she could face her apartment again.

The thought of lying in bed again with that restless energy running through her made Allison anxious. She didn't like this new turn of events. She was considering calling her doctor to see if her meds needed to be adjusted. Maybe she was having some new side effects?

There was a fallen tree trunk leaning on a large rock and Allison sat on it, pulling her knees up to her chest. She closed her eyes and just tried to breathe. The sound of traffic could still be heard but it was mostly quiet.

For a while she felt clearheaded and relaxed, but then it changed.

Something felt…wrong. She couldn't describe it. It was like the air had changed, become heavier somehow. Allison opened her eyes but everything _looked_ the same. It was a little darker yes, but it wasn't time for her to leave yet. Surely she hadn't lost track of the hours?

Allison became very still and tried to listen, using more than her ears; using her body. She remained motionless and she realized that strange feeling was coming from an area just beyond the clearing. She had been there before. There was nothing but more trees. _What was going on?_

The street smarts in her made her pull her pepper spray out of her backpack, but her instinct told her that there wasn't anyone there to be afraid of.

Allison got up, following her gut and she came upon a sight she would have been hard-pressed to describe.

There were…spaces…floating in the air, like cracks of light. Some were small, some were large but they were definitely…_not_…right.

They looked like they were shimmering with energy, some swirled with pinkish hues, others with deep reds and purples. They hovered in different places. Some of the "cracks" were over her head and some were in front of her and to her right and left sides.

Allison looked around quickly. Surely someone else had to be seeing this! But she was alone.

Allison tried to speak but nothing came out. She grabbed her cellphone and held the camera up so she could take a picture. She snapped a few images before a strange noise started thrumming the air.

Uh oh, she thought. Maybe she had made the energy-things angry.

Allison began to back away, her hands up as if in surrender. Exactly who or what she was surrendering to, she didn't know but it seemed like the right thing to do. It felt like that part of her brain that worked differently from other peoples, was working on a different level now. She didn't understand what was happening.

"Sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad. I'll delete the pictures, I promise!" Allison called out to no one.

She kept backing away until her heels came up against another tree.

Wait a minute, she thought! Duh! She was _hallucinating_! Of course!

She started laughing. Her doctor would definitely change her meds when she told him about _this_!

"Haha brain!" she spoke out loud. "You actually had me going for a second. Glowing cracks of light indeed!" she scoffed and she put her cellphone back in her pack.

"Looks like it's time for me to go home, and tomorrow the doc is getting a phone call!"

Allison started to turn around to head back to her car when the thrumming sound started again but this time it was louder and it resonated in her head.

She clapped her hands over her ears and fell to her knees in the dirt, screaming.

She kept her eyes open and it seemed like the world started wobbling, going in and out of focus. She felt ill and then she felt cold. The noise increased and she was sure that she was going to pass out.

One of the cracks of light moved in her direction suddenly and then she heard nothing.


	4. Chapter 4 Arrival

***Please, please review! I need to know how the story is working so please give me some feedback. *******

**(Note: I know that Tomwise did poisons, not explosives hehe.)**

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 4 – Arrival

"_Hey! Look at what we have here boys!"_

"_What the hell is she wearing?"_

"_It don't matter none. See if she has any coin on her!"_

"_Where would I look?"_

"_Check that pack she's carrying."_

Allison felt the ground shift beneath her hands like the rumble of an earthquake.

Her head was swirling madly and she tried unsuccessfully to get to her feet.

Oh no! I'm going to have a seizure and I'm alone in the woods! She thought frantically.

Except…the ground didn't feel like dirt, it felt harder like… concrete. Allison tried to focus her eyes but everything was moving around in circles.

"_What's wrong with her, is she drunk?"_

A crude laugh. _"It's a bit early in the day for that!"_

She tried to ask the floating voices for help but her lips wouldn't cooperate either. When she opened her mouth, Allison caught the scent of the sea on her tongue. What in the world? She didn't live anywhere near an ocean! Where was she?

Allison's vision cleared for a moment and she saw that she was surrounded by several men dressed in really weird clothes.

Ok. The Renaissance Festival wasn't in town yet so that wasn't it.

Before Allison had time to further contemplate their attire, she noticed that one of them was armed with some kind of bat!

She scrambled back on her hands and came up against a wall. Allison took a deep breath and tried to reach her pepper spray. It didn't matter where she was. What mattered was that she was in trouble.

"Oi! You girl. Don't try to run. Just give us your coin and we won't need to make a mess." That was spoken by some oaf with brown teeth.

Allison didn't even try to figure out where his accent came from, she was definitely in danger.

She had a brief flash of memory and the image of floating lights came to her. She had believed that she was hallucinating before. Was that still the case?

Feeling completely foolish, Allison closed her eyes tightly and tried repeating a mantra to center her mind. She opened her eyes again but, nope…there were still five ugly guys standing around her.

Allison tried to use her voice again and managed a squeak. Ok, that was a no-go. Her hand floundered around her pockets still looking for the pepper spray. Got it!

She swung her hand up in front of her waving the can around, pointing at each man.

The one in the middle started laughing.

"Look at that boys! She's got perfume!" The idiot bent over in his mirth and Allison hit him full in the face with the spray.

"AHHHH!" he screamed, clawing at his face as tears poured from his eyes.

Allison tried to stand but was only able to get to one knee.

She still couldn't speak and her vision was getting blurry again so she tried to look as dangerous as possible.

One of the men came at her with the bat and she sprayed him too but the stick connected with her hand, knocking the pepper spray from her grasp.

Allison cried out in pain as did her assailant. She felt a heavy blow land on her side like she had been kicked. Maybe she had. Her vision was failing and she felt herself fall.

Allison tried to call out for help but could only cough and grab her injured side.

"Hey! What's going on down there?"

Allison vaguely heard shouts and the sound of hurried footsteps. There was the sound of glass breaking, a soft poof, and then a cry of anger and pain. More footsteps moving away from her now, but Allison couldn't tell what was happening.

She managed to squint and she saw a…person, standing in front of her, waving his fists. The…person, squatted down next to her and Allison could have _sworn_ that her wobbly eyesight perceived long, pointed ears!

She was definitely ill, she just hoped that her brain didn't scramble like eggs!

"There, there now. They're gone. Old Tomwise scared 'em off. Are you alright?" he asked and Allison felt a hand on her shoulder.

She opened her mouth but her body seemed to be short-circuiting.

"_He…help."_

"Don't you worry young one. I'll get you to the healer. Just hang on to me."

Allison felt wiry arms lift her to a standing position and she leaned against a body that felt much too slight to bear her weight. She wished that she could help him, but it was all she could do to shuffle her feet.

The man, Tomwise, kept talking to her as they walked and eventually she was able to make out large wooden doors up a few steps.

"Almost there." Tomwise assured her.

Whatever strength Allison had was gone and her knees buckled. Her fading mind felt bad that she could no longer help Tom get her to where he wanted to take her, but it was out of her control.

She heard him call for help and then everything went black.

Anders heard a commotion from outside the clinic and his instincts kicked in. He grabbed his staff and he felt Justice stirring, readying to attack if needed.

He did _not_ expect to see the elf Tomwise come in carrying an unconscious woman!

Anders was taken aback for a moment but it was obvious that she needed help and he moved automatically to make room for her on a cot.

Anders motioned Tomwise to lay her down and he proceeded to remove a strange pack that she was carrying on her back. Anders placed it on the ground and turned to Tomwise.

"What happened to her?" he asked calmly. He didn't see any blood on her strange clothes. Was she wearing _pants_? They weren't like any trousers he had ever seen before.

Tomwise wiped his brow. "She was attacked by a gang of refugees down the way. I used a nice little explosive to make them reconsider." The elf watched the woman's face closely. "She tried to speak but she could barely get anything out except "help".

Anders placed his hands on the young woman's face and sought out her injuries. He immediately felt that something was off, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Something about her brain was just…_different_.

He sent more magic through her, still looking. Ah! There were a few broken ribs on her left side. Anders lifted her shirt and saw a massive bruise forming. It looked like she had been kicked.

Anders felt Justice bristle at the thought. While it was true that the spirit was mainly concerned with the actions of Templars, he was still disturbed by acts of injustice towards those who couldn't fight back.

A group of thugs attacking an innocent woman fell into that category. Anders' mouth turned down in a grim line as he placed his hand gently over her ribs and began mending the broken bones.

Tomwise saw Anders' expression and grew concerned. "Is she going to be alright healer?" the elf inquired anxiously.

Anders continued healing her but he smiled at the man. "Yes, Tom. You did a good thing saving her and bringing her here."

Anders felt the bones lock back together but he was puzzled as to why the woman was still unconscious. He placed his hands on her head again, trying to find that strangeness he had sensed before. Yes, there it was. The oddity wasn't located in just one part of her mind. It seemed that several areas were affected, but affected by _what,_ he did not know.

Anders stepped back and frowned. He wasn't sure what to do.

Tomwise looked worried and the mage took pity on him.

"Tom, there's some bread on the table over there. Why don't you take a piece home to your family?" Anders suggested gently.

Tomwise hesitated, looking back and forth between Anders and the bread.

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave if I shouldn't." he balked.

Anders nodded encouragingly. "It's fine. I'll take care of her now. If you like you can come back tomorrow and see how she is."

Tomwise bowed and rushed to grab the bread. He bowed again in thanks before walking out the door.

Anders sighed. It made him sad to see that flare of hope in someone's eyes when he was able to offer them some scraps of food. It wasn't right.

Darktown was overloaded with the poor and the forgotten and all he could give them was stale bread and little mending.

Of course he didn't have much more than that for himself. Thankfully, he had half a loaf tucked away in a drawer for dinner. That with a cup of well water would have to do.

Anders observed the woman occupying the cot again. There was no reason for her to be asleep. A thought occurred to him and he went to a shelf containing some herbs from the coast. Mixing a few together he made a small fire with his fingertips and lit them. Anders returned to the cot and held the smoke coming from the herbs under the girl's nose.

She flinched, took a deep breath and her eyes fluttered open.

Anders' face was quite close to hers, so he received the full impact of her eyes when they opened. They were beautiful! Gray-blue like the sky after a storm. With her dark hair, she was incredibly striking.

Right now, those eyes were looking into his with an expression of wary confusion.

The first thing Allison saw were warm hazel eyes staring back at her. And…a nose. _Quite_ a nose at that.

She was distracted from the nose by the gentle smile that curved the man's lips. Warm hands brushed her face and Allison blinked, dazed.

"Hello." the man said softly. "How are you feeling?"

His voice was soothing and made her feel safe.

Wait! Safe? She wasn't safe!

Allison gasped as her memories came rushing back and she shot straight up on the cot. She looked around wildly, trying to figure out where she was.

Allison felt a restraining arm on her shoulder and she pulled away from the stranger, jumping to her feet and staggering backwards.

"It's alright. You're alright." Anders put his hands in front of him showing her that he was unarmed. "You're safe. You're in a clinic." He didn't take a step towards the poor woman. It was obvious that she was frightened.

Allison thought the man was insane. This was no clinic! It looked like a shelter. There was no medical equipment, no nurses and he sure as hell didn't look like a doctor! He looked…what on earth was he wearing? Robes and…_feathers_? Allison wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation but she was too scared.

"Who are you?" she croaked. At least her voice was starting to work again.

"My name is Anders. And you are?" he spoke evenly, trying to put her at ease.

Allison rubbed her throat and frowned.

"My name is Allison." There, that came out sounding normal! "Where am I?" she demanded not trusting him at all.

"You're in Darktown." Anders replied and he made of point of stepping back. Perhaps she had some injury to her mind that he hadn't been able to pinpoint. She seemed dismayed at his answer.

"Where the hell is Darktown? Is that some kind of slang for some underground trafficking ring?" she accused.

It was Anders' turn to frown now. "What kind of trafficking, and what is _slang_?"

Allison almost stamped her foot but that would have looked silly and girly. She needed to appear capable which was difficult without a weapon.

"Just answer my question!" she demanded.

Allison noticed that there was a group of oddly dressed people standing around looking at her. A few of them had those ears that she remembered blurrily. Before she could ask about that, the man in the feathers responded.

"You're in Kirkwall. Do you remember how you got here?" Anders inquired gently.

Allison furrowed her brow. "Where is Kirkwall exactly? I've never heard of it."

Anders was beginning to get worried. Was she a victim of slavers? Had she been kidnapped and brought to Kirkwall against her will?

"Please, Allison. You need to rest. You've had a very trying experience." Anders advised cautiously.

Allison looked incredulous. "Really? You don't say!" she placed her hands on her hips. "I was walking in the park and all of a sudden all of these swirly lights start appearing. The next thing I know, I'm surrounded by a gang of idiots and now I'm here with a guy who's wearing feathers and pretending to be a doctor!"

Anders was dumbfounded. What in the Maker's name was she talking about? Swirly lights?

"Wait a moment. How did you get here?" he asked exasperated and confused.

Allison rolled her eyes. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I don't know where _here_ is!" she exclaimed.

Either the woman was demented or something strange was going on. Anders decided to take the bait. Truly, this was the most interesting thing that had happened in long while.

He cocked his head and folded his arms over his chest.

"Alright. I'll play along. You're in Kirkwall which is part of the Free Marches in the land of Thedas." Anders smirked a little, waiting for the next part of her tale. Instead he was surprised to see her bravado fall as an expression of desperation came over her.

She looked…lost.

Anders dropped his mocking demeanor at once and took a small step towards her. She shook her head but she wasn't looking at him.

Allison stopped and for the first time, **really** looked at her surroundings.

The place looked…old. The walls were very tall and led up to a massively high ceiling supported by several columns. There were tattered red banners hanging on the walls and a few windows that let in sunlight. She could swear she heard the sound of the sea, but that was impossible.

As Allison gazed about the room she saw that there were several cots set up. Some of them were occupied by people who looked ill or had bandages. The other cots had ratty sheets covering…those looked like bodies!

Allison choked on a half-strangled scream.

Anders noticed where her attention had fallen and hurried to reassure her.

"I'm sorry but, a whole family was lost to a sickness that's been travelling through the refugee camps. There was no other place to put them until tomorrow."

Allison was horrified but it was only partially due to the news about the sickness. She was starting to become quite sure that she was nowhere _near_ home and that she wasn't hallucinating either.

Allison spied the two large doors at the front of the room and bolted.

"Wait!" Anders shouted behind her.

The few people standing her way moved aside quickly. Allison raced down a few steps, trying not to trip over her own feet. Up another set of steps and she went right, having absolutely no idea where she was going.

She came up short when she saw an entire walkway filled with people. They wore ragged clothing. Many had no shoes and there were quite a few beggars approaching her. Children played with pieces of string or rocks. Some didn't bother to look up. They seemed to have given up.

Allison was startled by a voice directly behind her even though he spoke quietly.

"You shouldn't be out here alone. It's not safe." Anders put a firm hand on her shoulder and began to turn her back towards the clinic. Allison dug her heels in, not allowing him to move her.

"Where am I?" she whispered.

Anders expression was sympathetic. "I told you. You're in Kirkwall."

Allison interrupted him, still looking at the people before her. "No." she said gesturing towards them. "Where am I?"

Anders understood her question then. "These are refugees from Ferelden. Most of them are human even though there are some elves as well. They don't have anywhere else to go." Anders tugged on her arm a bit. "C'mon, let's get you back to the clinic."

Allison allowed herself to be led, she could do nothing else. Her head was filled with confusion and an ever-growing fear that threatened to swamp her.

When they entered the clinic, Anders had her sit back down. He walked away and came back with a cup of water. Allison looked at the wooden mug, felt the texture with her hands and began to cry.

Anders was alarmed and he kneeled in front of her.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he murmured, placing a hand on her knee and squeezing.

How could she explain when she didn't fully understand what had happened to her either?

"I don't know how I got here." she whispered. "I was home and then I was here and I've never heard of this place before. I've never heard of Ferelden or Kirkwall or Thedas." Her eyes pleaded with him to believe her.

Anders stared at her for what seemed like a long time before seeming to come to some internal decision.

He grabbed a chair and sat next to her.

"Alright. Tell me where you're from and what you _do_ remember." he asked.

Allison took a deep breath to calm down. "I'm from Seattle."

Anders brow wrinkled in confusion at that name. He had never heard of such a place.

Allison continued, telling him about going for a walk and strange lights that appeared.

After listening to her story Anders sat thinking quietly. He couldn't imagine what reason a person would have for making up something like that. What would be the point? Unless she was mad? That strangeness in her mind, maybe she was unbalanced. He decided to ask her.

Anders leaned forward and took both of her hands in his. He looked at her with kindness and patience.

"Allison, I want to ask you something and please tell me the truth. Are you suffering from any…instability of your mind?"

Allison gaped at him, offended. "Are you asking me if I'm crazy?" she sputtered.

His smile was charming and slightly chagrined. "Well, I wasn't going to use those words of course."

Allison sighed heavily. Of _course_ he would think she was crazy. Anyone who had heard what she just said would think so. She barely believed it herself.

Anders rubbed his thumb in soothing circles over her hand. "It's just that…when I was healing you, I felt something…different about your mind, something I've never encountered before."

Allison groaned. "Oh, that was the epilepsy." She answered automatically. "Wait! What do you mean when you were _healing_ me? And how can you _feel_ something in my brain?" she asked in astonishment.

Anders was still trying to understand the strange word she had used. Epilepsy?

"Allison, what is this epilepsy? Are you ill?" he inquired, concerned.

Allison waved her hand dismissively. "Yes I am. But, you didn't answer my question."

Unconsciously, Anders mirrored the same gesture. "I'm a mage. Tell me what's wrong with you."

Allison scowled in irritation and then came up short when his word finally caught up with her ears.

"You're a _mage_? What the hell are you talking about? Is this some kind of home for delusional people?" she balked.

Anders took in Allison's dubious expression and was flabbergasted.

"You act as if you've never heard of mages before." he said suspiciously.

The look she gave him confounded him. Her face softened suddenly and she looked…sad. She reached out a hand and touched his face lightly.

Anders felt a shock at the feel of her hand against his skin as her fingers brushed the stubble on his chin. He knew his mouth had fallen open but for the life of him he couldn't close it. He didn't know what was wrong with him.

Allison tilted her head. "Anders. There's no such thing as magic." she said kindly.

That got his attention as nothing else could have.

"Of course there is. Are you telling me that there are no mages where you come from?" he said cynically.

Allison rolled her eyes again. "In fairytales yes! Not in real life."

Anders sat back completely bewildered.

"Wait. So you're saying that in…Seattle, there is no magic, no mages? I suppose you'll tell me you've never seen an elf before either!" he laughed.

Allison looked at him like he had grown another head. "Elves aren't real. This isn't Tolkien!"

Anders decided that maybe he needed to point out the obvious. He looked over at one of his patients who was recovering from a rather nasty episode of alcohol poisoning. The man was from the Alienage.

Pointing with his finger he said, "So what is that then?"

Allison looked where he was pointing and saw a man with pointed ears. She had a hazy memory of someone with ears like that!

She got up slowly and approached the man on the cot. He watched her warily.

She didn't think that it would be appropriate to just reach out and pull on someone's ear, even if you thought it was fake.

"Excuse me." she began, feeling absolutely ridiculous. "Um…are your ears real?"

Anders wanted to burst out laughing but he had a feeling it would just make things worse.

The elf was still a little drunk and blinked at her, swaying a bit.

"Lady, you can touch them if it gets you hot!" he laughed and almost fell over.

Allison stepped back, disgusted. "That's alright. I think I'll pass."

Anders hid his chuckle with a cough but Allison whirled around scowling.

"So what? You have excellent makeup artists here. That doesn't prove anything." she challenged.

Anders was flustered. He had never had to _prove_ to someone that magic existed. In Thedas, it was a simple fact of life.

He glanced down at his hands and thought of something simple.

"How about this?" and he made a small fireball in the palm of his hands.

Allison gawked but ran up to him to find out where he was hiding whatever little tool was making that fire. She went to take his hands but pulled back when she felt the heat radiating from it.

She licked her lips nervously. "It could be a trick. Magicians do it all the time."

Anders looked amused. "I thought you said magic didn't exist where you come from?"

She was still staring at his hands. "It doesn't. Magicians only pretend to make magic, for entertainment purposes." she said hollowly.

Anders scoffed. "It sounds atrocious."

Allison squinted for a second and then pushed the sleeves of Anders' robes up his arms. There wasn't anything there.

"How are you doing that?" she asked more forcefully.

Anders sighed. I told you; magic. How about this?" and he shifted his hands making lightening appear out of nowhere.

Allison made a slight squeak and her knees gave out. She started breathing very fast.

Anders stopped and knelt beside her, alarmed at the change that had come over her.

She looked at him with terror in her eyes and Anders felt the first prickle of anger, thinking that she was scared of him because he was a mage. _Just like everyone else_, he thought bitterly. He was startled when she grabbed a hold of his arms, clutching at his robes.

"I'm in a place that has magic and elves. What happened to me?" she asked hoarsely.

For some unexplainable reason, Anders believed that Allison had indeed come from somewhere else.

He placed a hand on her cheek. "I don't know. But I promise you, we'll find out."

Allison looked around the room and at the few people still occupying cots. Her worried gaze fell on Anders.

"Where will I go?" she whispered.

Anders peered at her, looking deep into her eyes. He frowned slightly for a moment and then tugged her to her feet.

"You'll stay here. There isn't much, but there's a bed you can use. And then we'll try to figure out how you got here." he said firmly.

Allison hung her head as a wave of fatigue hit her. "Thank you." she replied sincerely.

Anders seemed to notice it as well and he ushered her into a back room away from the other.

Allison saw an old desk with writing tools on it, and a rickety bed that was similar to the cots out front.

"Is this where you sleep?" she asked.

Anders fidgeted a little. He had never had anyone stay with him before, and even though he sometimes felt annoyed with his living conditions, he had never felt this level of embarrassment. He avoided looking at her while he straightened the covers on the bed. Well, there weren't really _covers_; there was just an old blanket and the pillow that his mother had given him when the Circle took him away from her. It was the only thing he had left of his family.

Anders felt his anger rising and tried to control himself. It wouldn't do for Justice to come out now in front of someone like Allison.

"Yes, this is where I sleep. I'm sorry, I know it's not comfortable." he mumbled.

Allison was horrified by her own idiocy. The man had been kind enough to allow her to stay with him after hearing a story that must have sounded completely absurd. She owed him a great deal.

She grabbed his arm and felt him stiffen. She was instantly aware that she had hurt him with her words.

Allison stepped closer to him trying to get him to look at her.

"I'm sorry Anders." she said fervently. "You took care of me and offered me a safe place to stay. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about your home."

His soft golden eyes met hers and she continued. "You've been kinder to me than anyone could expect, especially considering all of the madness surrounding my arrival. I couldn't ask for more than that. Thank you." And she hugged him tightly.

Anders felt that strange sensation go through him again when her body pressed against his. He was encompassed by her scent and he inhaled it without thinking. She smelled like the sweet lilies of Ferelden. His arms came around her and he relished the feeling of closeness.

How long had it been since he had been embraced by someone?

Even though his patients and their families were grateful to him for his services, most people were still intimidated by mages and at most they would shake his hand or pat him on the shoulder.

_This_…he had missed this. It wasn't romantic; it was just having that _connection_ with another person.

Anders blinked. He wasn't sure how long he had been holding her so he stepped back awkwardly hoping that he hadn't offended her.

Allison seemed bemused and he couldn't quite understand the expression on her face.

"Well, you should get some rest. I'll check on you later." he stammered.

"Wait!" she called. "What about you, where are you going to sleep?"

Anders grinned. "Don't worry about me. There are cots, and honestly they aren't very different from that bed. I'll be fine." he assured her and he closed the door behind him.

Allison plopped down on the mattress. Ouch! It was horrible. How did he sleep on that?

She put her head in her hands and tried to take stock of her situation.

Somehow, she had been brought to another world; a world with magic. She had no idea how she was going to get home but in the meantime, she had been lucky to meet Anders. _**And**_ he was a mage. Right, couldn't forget that, she grimaced.

Allison curled up on the small bed and decided to rest her eyes. Anders found her sleeping that way a few hours later.

He had been able to send most of his patients home, which was a good thing considering the incredible turn the day had taken.

He contemplated the young woman currently occupying his bed.

What kind of magic had brought her to Thedas? He was sure that some spell had to be involved.

Her dark hair fell around her face and her mouth was opened slightly as she breathed quietly.

Anders squatted beside the bed and pulled the blanket over her. He felt an odd kind of awareness of her that he couldn't identify. His hand reached out and he brushed a few strands of hair from her face. His throat tightened and he felt…what? _Wistful?_ That was curious.

He pulled his hand back and got to his feet. The day was over and he had a cot waiting for him.

Perhaps the next day would bring some answers.


	5. Chapter 5 Prophets and Pirates

***Thank you to meghershey for the review! I would love more feedback, pretty please!***

**(I have some details about Andraste in this chapter. If anyone knows exactly how many years ago, game-wise, she died could you let me know? Also, I may take dramatic license when describing Allison's epilepsy. It's not going to be what it's really like for someone who has it.)**

**(Woops wanted to add something. I know that many of my readers from The Fate of Wolves said that they aren't Anders fans. I personally love him to pieces and I wanted to share some art that someone at deviantart did that illustrates how I see Anders. It's here: .com/art/Commish-The-Healer-253425306)**

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 5 – Prophets and Pirates

Allison awoke slowly, her eyes taking in a high ceiling with wooden beams. The smell of salt water filled the air and she was confused.

_That wasn't a dream._

She sat up jerkily, pulling the worn blanket away from her face. She was still here. She had been hoping as she fell asleep the day before that she would awaken back home but this was definitely Anders' clinic. The ache in her back said that she had been sleeping on that horrible mattress for a long time.

She looked over to the window in Anders' bedroom and saw that the sun was in the sky surrounded by pinkish and purple tones. She had to admit that it was beautiful.

Her long-sleeved t-shirt wasn't too wrinkled and of course nothing travelled like a pair of jeans.

Rising, she glanced at Anders' desk and saw a wooden bowl with water in it. There was a note next to it.

_Here is some water so you can wash up in the morning. I wanted to make sure that you had some in case I overslept._

_Anders_

Allison smiled at his consideration, while at the same time lamenting the loss of a shower. Oh God! Thinking of a shower had made her think of other _personal_ issues…like bathrooms. Her mind went back to medieval stories and chamber pots. Oh no!

Her eyes swept the room, horrified and she did indeed find something that looked like a chamber pot by the bed. Ewww!

_I think I'll hold it for now._

She did take advantage of the bowl of water though. Washing her face had never felt so good! Her normal morning routine kicked in and she automatically reached for her medication only to realize that it wasn't there.

Allison froze and a hundred terrible thoughts occurred to her. Wait! When she had…travelled, she had been carrying her backpack. She always had extra medication in her backpack. Where was it? Had those horrible men taken it?

Drying her hands on her jeans, Allison opened the door and rushed out to the main room.

She saw Anders curled up on a cot towards the back of the room. He was sleeping soundly and Allison was loath to wake him up. She was sure the previous day had been stressful for him as well.

She decided to see if her pack was lying around somewhere. It had to be or she was in big trouble!

There were still a few patients in the clinic and Allison crept around as quietly as she could so as not to disturb them.

She didn't see it. Okay, don't hyperventilate Allison told herself. If those men _had_ taken it, surely there were police here or something that could look for the thieves. Her hands began to shake and she knew it was from fear. That wasn't good either. Stress could induce a seizure. Allison almost laughed out loud at that thought considering the amount of stress she was under right now.

_Ok kiddo, get a grip. No need to borrow trouble._

Her stomach chose that moment to let her know that it was empty. Hmmm…well there was no refrigerator she was sure. What did people in Kirkwall eat for breakfast?

Allison went back to Anders' bedroom, closed the door and poked around the various containers and bottles he had on his shelves. For all she knew, some of that stuff might be eye of newt or something! Slightly freaked out, she backed away from the shelves.

Allison didn't want to go digging around in Anders' personal belongings but she was really hungry.

She opened a drawer and saw two pairs of tattered socks and a few shirts with frayed cuffs. There were a few garments that looked like underwear and one pair of pants that was also threadbare in various areas.

Allison quickly opened other drawers and saw only books and papers. In the last drawer she saw a piece of cloth wrapped around something. Feeling guilty she opened it and found half a loaf of bread inside. She wrapped it up again and put it back the way she found it.

Allison was shaking again but it wasn't from fear, it was from sadness.

Was this all Anders had to live on? In her world, people who healed others made a lot of money but apparently that wasn't the case here.

She sat back down on the bed and she didn't even feel the lumps. She remembered all of those people; refugees Anders had said. They were destitute but Anders didn't seem much better off himself. Allison lost her appetite.

But, he was so kind. It wasn't fair!

This world wasn't so different from her own in that way.

Her culinary instincts came up and she wished that she had some simple herbs and a little butter. She could have done something with that bread! Surprisingly, the thought of cooking brought some comfort to her and she suddenly longed for some pots and pans.

Well, she had to deal with reality. What did she have to work with?

Allison searched the room further and was shocked to find a well in the ground. Okay…

Well at least there was water. It wouldn't do any good to think about amoebas or bacteria.

There was a stack of cloths on a shelf and Allison grabbed one and took a wooden cup and filled it with water. She went back to the drawer and took out the bread, tearing off a piece.

Seeing how Anders lived had broken her heart, and she felt a silly urge to feed him. It must be the cook in me Allison thought with amusement. She didn't know him very well but only someone with a good heart would have taken in a complete stranger and given them their bed. That was all she needed to know.

Allison went back out to the main room, glad that Anders' cot was separated from the rest of the area.

She knelt beside his cot and found herself watching him sleep. There were circles under his eyes and his hair was falling over his forehead.

Allison realized that she hadn't really paid that much attention to his appearance before. Well…besides the feathers and the nose. She smothered a chuckle.

He had stubble on his face. Allison remembered how it felt when she touched it; rough but pleasant. His mouth was relaxed and she thought he looked rather boyish in sleep. It made her want to smile.

His blond hair looked different and Allison saw that it was loose whereas the day before he had it pulled back. It was blonde, but there were some bronze highlights to it.

Allison reached out a hand and gently shook the mage. His eyes snapped open and she was reminded of warm amber.

Anders was greeted by stormy gray eyes and he felt his heart speed up. She smiled and he felt a pleasant heat in his chest.

"Good morning." she said quietly.

Anders stretched. "Good morning." he replied just as quietly, careful not to wake up his patients.

Anders sat up and felt the effects of sleeping on a cot but was distracted by the shy smile coming from the woman next to him.

Maker, she was beautiful! No one should look that lovely first thing in the morning. How was a man to cope?

Allison sat cross-legged on the floor and handed Anders the bread and the cup of water.

"I felt the need to make sure you ate. It's all I can do to say thank you." she explained.

Anders was dazed. She had brought him _breakfast_? No one had ever done that for him before.

"I…thank you Allison." he stammered. That was the second time that she had made him do that.

She simply nodded and started to get up.

"Wait." Anders said, stopping her. "Did you eat?"

Allison smiled, looking amused. "It seems that travelling to other worlds diminishes the appetite." She winked and rose to her feet.

She had walked off before Anders could react. He hurriedly stuffed the bread in his mouth and drank the water quickly. Being a Gray Warden made you famished. All of the food a Warden ate seemed to go straight to muscle, but he'd had to learn to make do with less than what his body required.

Anders stepped around the half-wall where he had placed his cot and started to go after Allison. There was no way that she wasn't hungry and he had a feeling that she only said what she did because she knew how little food there was.

Before he could get to his bedroom, one of his patients, Henry, called out to him. Anders was frustrated but went to the man's side. He had suffered a bad burn over several parts of his body while working in the foundry and Anders had applied a salve in addition to healing the damage to the best of his ability.

Anders removed the bandages to access how the injuries were healing and was pleased to see good progress.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Allison asked from behind him.

Anders had never had help before so he stood there looking at her like an idiot for a moment before answering her.

Oh! Ummm…well, there's a jar over there on that table. Could you hand it to me please?" He sounded unsure and Allison smiled.

"Of course." She walked over to the table. There were several jars. "Is it the one with green stuff in it?"

Anders chuckled. "Yes, the green stuff."

Allison handed him the container and looked at the man on the cot.

"How are you this morning?" she inquired, feeling silly just standing there.

"I'm fine Miss. The Healer has been good to me. Got me fixed right up." he stated gratefully.

Anders applied the salve and handed the jar to Henry.

"There you go. You should be fine to go home now. Just apply that twice a day and it will heal nicely."

Henry hopped up, glad to be able to get home to his wife. "Thank you sir." He looked embarrassed. "I don't have any coin to give you, sir. I haven't worked since the accident."

Anders put a comforting hand on Henry's arm. "Don't worry about it. Just take care of yourself and your family."

Henry nodded. "Thank you sir. You know, the wife has a bunch of herbs she's been keeping. May I bring those to you?" Henry asked hopefully.

Anders didn't wish to insult the man's pride. "Of course. That's very kind of you."

Henry grinned. "I'll send my boy around with 'em sir. Thank you!" and he hurried out.

Anders turned to find Allison staring at him with wide eyes.

"What?" he asked stomping down the urge to squirm.

"You did that for no money." It was a statement, not a question.

Anders rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "The people here have very little. I didn't come to Kirkwall to make money, not that a mage could anyway."

Allison's brow crinkled. "What does being a mage have to do with it?"

Anders sighed heavily. How did he explain being an apostate to someone who until yesterday didn't believe in magic?

He gestured towards some chairs and had her sit down.

"I have to remind myself that you don't know about the Circle of Magi." he said with a scowl.

"The way you said that makes me think that it isn't good." she observed.

Anders pulled his hair back and took a seat. "That's putting it lightly but I'll see if I can keep it simple."

Allison waited expectantly for him to speak. Anders hoped he could do so without Justice showing up.

"The Circle is a place where mages are trained. When a child shows magical abilities, they are taken from their families and brought to the Circle." he began.

"What do you mean by _taken_?" Allison asked in a hushed tone.

Anders frowned. Here was the hard part. He just had to make sure that he kept control of himself.

"Any child who can use magic is forced to leave their family and go to the Circle. If the family resists, they can be arrested or killed." he explained.

Allison gasped. "But…why?"

Anders watched her face as he continued and he was very aware of Justice looking through his eyes. He realized abruptly that this was a dangerous situation for Allison.

If she reacted badly, it would be difficult for him to contain Justice. She could be hurt.

_Just remember that she's not from Thedas, Justice._

The spirit was eerily silent and it made Anders nervous.

"In Thedas, magic is feared by many. We worship the Maker and his bride Andraste was killed by mages who sought to use magic to rule over others. Because of that, the Circle forces all mages to live apart from others. When they reach adolescence, they are forced to undergo a ritual called the Harrowing. They go into a place called the Fade to be tempted by demons. If they fail and succumb they are killed by members of a group called Templars."

Anders took shaky breath and waited for Allison's reaction.

"Wait, wait, wait." Allison said, throwing her hands up. "How long ago did this Andraste die?"

Anders tilted his head, wondering why she was asking. "A thousand years or so. Why?"

Allison ignored his question and asked another. "Ok, so because Andraste died a thousand years ago, they take children from their homes and force them to face demons. Do I have that right?"

Anders was fascinated by the light burning in her eyes. He just nodded.

Allison exhaled sharply. "Alright and what exactly is the Fade?"

Anders continued. "The Fade is the first world created by the Maker. He made spirits who dwell in the Fade but demons also lurk there." Anders thought for a moment. "It's where our minds go when we dream."

Allison's mouth formed a perfect O. "You see demons when you dream?" she exclaimed.

Anders shook his head laughing a little. "No, no. It's only that way for mages. That's why we are forced to go through the Harrowing. You see, a mage can be overtaken if they are weak. Then they would be a danger to everyone. The Harrowing shows if a mage is strong enough to resist. If they aren't then the threat is removed."

Allison was silent for a while and Anders was intensely curious about what she was thinking. He had never had this kind of opportunity before; to teach someone about magic and the Circle without them having any prejudices towards magic. It was thrilling!

Anders could imagine Varric and Isabela groaning if they were forced to endure this conversation and he smiled.

Allison bit her lip in thought and the sight drew Anders' attention. That gentle tug with her teeth was…distracting. It made him think things he ought not.

"So…once the mages pass the Harrowing, they're free to go?" she asked and Anders thought she sounded hopeful.

He felt the anger rising in him and he controlled it ruthlessly. "No. They are not allowed to go leave. Ever."

"Why?" she whispered.

At that moment, Anders heard the echo of his own voice as a child.

"_But I why must I go mommy? I want to stay with you!"_

Anders gritted his teeth. He was losing control. He could feel Justice rising to the surface!

He started to tell Allison to leave when he felt something soft against his face.

Allison had risen and wrapped her arms around Anders. She couldn't help it. There had been so much pain etched in his face! She had to stop it.

"Shhh. Never mind. It's obvious that it's too painful to talk about Anders. You don't have to say anymore." she murmured.

Anders was floored. His head was nestled against Allison's chest and she was patting his head like a child. She was _comforting_ him!

Anders felt Justice's surprise as the spirit settled down and he could have sworn that he sensed a begrudging pleasure coming from his inhabitant. Justice _liked_ Allison's touch! He couldn't believe it.

_You old softie!_

Justice was **not** amused.

Allison looked down to find Anders honey-colored eyes staring back at her somberly. She belatedly apprehended where his head was at and she snatched her hands away.

What in the world had gotten into her? What must he be thinking? Allison wanted to smack herself. It was just that his expression had made her reach out automatically.

She cleared her throat, wishing that a hole would open up and swallow her.

Anders stood slowly and deliberately. Allison wasn't sure what he was going to do.

"Do you always hug mages when they get upset?" he asked softly, smiling down at her.

Allison shrugged and feigned disinterest. "I don't know. You're the first mage I've ever met remember?"

Anders brushed his fingers against her cheek once and then twice. He started to say something when a familiar voice rang out from the front of the clinic.

Damnit! He thought viciously.

Allison hadn't thought her jaw could drop as far as it did when the woman walked into the clinic.

She had deeply tanned skin and was extremely well built! Her breasts were…Well, _epic_, was the only word that came to Allison's mind.

The woman sauntered into the clinic, looking dangerous with some kind of large knives strapped to her back.

Her outfit was fascinating!

She wore a large gold choker with serpents on it. She had a low-cut tunic with a corset tied tightly around her waist, and her legs were encased in the tallest boots Allison had ever seen. They reminded her of a pirate. The woman's hips were left to sway out in the open and you couldn't _help_ but look at her.

Anders rushed over to meet the woman and Allison had a humiliating moment of wondering if this was Anders' girlfriend. Not that it mattered of course.

"Isabela. What can I do for you?" Anders inquired and smoothly stepped so that Allison was blocked from view. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain Isabela to Allison!

Isabela smirked. "I need some more of that cream you gave me."

Anders sighed. "Already? I thought I told you to stay away from the docks for at least a week!"

Isabela laughed. "I like men with big boats what can I say?" she shrugged.

Anders rolled his eyes. "You like men _period_ and boats have nothing to do with it." he snapped grouchily.

Isabela tossed her hair and placed a hand on her generous hip. "Oh Sweetie, you know my tastes are much more varied than that!"

Allison wasn't sure what to make of their relationship. They teased and insulted each other but the woman, Isabela, seemed very comfortable with him.

She wanted to introduce herself but she was afraid that Anders didn't want her to since he had avoided drawing attention to her presence.

Maybe they were together and her being there would cause him trouble?

Anders sifted quickly through his mind, trying to find a reason to get Isabela to leave without moving from his current position so Allison wouldn't be seen.

"I don't have any of the cream right now Isabela. Come back later this afternoon and I'll have it for you." he said nervously.

Isabela cocked an eyebrow and looked at him quizzically. "What bee's up your ass?" she inquired snidely. "Why are you all nervous and sweaty?"

Anders growled. "I am _not_ sweaty. I'm just busy!"

Isabela took in the nearly empty clinic and just looked at him.

"I _am_." he said defensively.

Isabela grinned wickedly. "What are you hiding? Have you got a hot little snack shacked up in here?"

She took a step to the right and when Anders went to block her she pivoted left instead.

Allison saw Isabela stop and stare. For some reason the look on the woman's face made her swallow nervously.

"Isabela…" Anders warned and Allison wondered if the woman was going to attack her.

She decided to try to being friendly as Isabela swaggered over.

"Um…hi. I'm Allison. Sorry, for interrupting anything. Anders just let me stay here for the night." she stammered.

Isabela's mouth curved up sensuously. Why was she looking at her like that? She looked like she wanted to _eat_ her! Oh my God, what if they were cannibals? There were a lot of hungry people out there.

Isabela circled her slowly, surveying her up and down. "Well, well, well. What have we here? Anders have you been hiding this sweet thing down here all this time?"

"Oh Maker preserve us!" Anders muttered under his breath. "No, Isabela. I haven't been hiding anyone. She's just…staying with me for a while."

Isabela perked up. "Really? How delicious!"

Allison was confused. "Why is that delicious? _Do_ you eat people here" she asked slightly frightened.

Isabela stopped dead in her tracks and then threw her head back, laughing uproariously.

"Oh Precious, you and I are going to have _**so**_ much fun!" she promised lustily.

Ander groaned and stepped between them. "You are not doing anything with her." He countered heatedly.

Isabela looked surprised and then fiendishly delighted. "Oh! Looks like a certain mage has a toy he doesn't want to share." she challenged and glanced around Anders back at Allison.

Anders scowled. "She is not a toy. She's a stranger here. She needed help and _I'm_ helping her."

Isabela grinned. "And what exactly are you helping her to do?" she asked suggestively.

Anders stomped over to the table and grabbed a bottle, thrusting it at Isabela.

"Here, take this! And that's a sovereign to make up for your dirty mouth." he ordered.

Isabela pulled a gold coin out of a satchel on her belt and tossed it to him.

"It was worth it. See you later Allison." Isabela purred as she left with a wink.

Allison gazed at Anders' stern face. "Did I cause trouble being here? I mean with you and Isabela? Should I leave? I don't want to cause trouble between you and your girlfriend."

Of course Allison had no place to go but at the moment she wasn't thinking all that clearly.

Anders turned to her, a disgusted look on his face. "My girlfriend? She is not my girlfriend! She's a friend, sort of but we are _not_ together."

Allison looked away. "Oh…well. That's good." Allison knew her words could be misconstrued and scrambled to fix it. "Not that it _matters_ I mean. I just meant that it was good that I didn't cause any trouble."

Anders watched her with an unreadable expression. Then he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"You caused trouble alright." he said softly.

Allison's lips parted in bewilderment. She started to ask him why when her head started to feel strange.

Anders saw her stiffen and he started to apologize for making her uncomfortable when she suddenly collapsed.

"Allison!" he cried out and tried to gather her in his arms but she started convulsing.

Anders called her name but she didn't answer him. What was happening? Her arms and legs were shaking and her back was arched off the floor.

Anders placed his hands firmly on her face trying to hold her still so he could figure out what was wrong. He sent a pulse of magic outwards and it immediately resonated with her mind. But instead of helping, the magic was repelled.

_What the hell?_

Anders tried again with the same result. He began to panic. _What do I do? He thought frantically._

"Allison, can you hear me?" his voice was pleading but she didn't respond.

Suddenly she slumped and laid motionless.

Anders bent over and cradled her head in his hands. "Allison?"

She appeared to be sleeping. A fine sheen of sweat dotted her brow and her breathing was labored.

Anders lifted her carefully into his arms and took her to his bedroom, placing her on the bed.

He grabbed a cloth and wiped her face. Then he tried searching her body for damage. He couldn't find anything wrong with her other than the area of her mind that had spurned his magic.

Anders didn't know what to make of that. He had never had that happen before. She was no mage, he could tell, but somehow she had turned his powers back. If he couldn't reach her mind magically, then he couldn't heal her either.

This must be the illness she had mentioned the other day. Blast it! He should've _made_ her explain it, but he had been distracted by the incredible events of the day.

Anders continued blotting her skin and did the only thing that he could. He waited.

Just when he thought he was going to go mad with anxiety, Allison awoke.

Anders watched her face anxiously and grasped one of her hands in his.

"Are you alright?" he asked "What can I do?"

Allison knew what had happened, she was just too tired to speak. Instead she tried to squeeze Anders' hand to reassure him but her muscles weren't moving quite well enough yet. She tried a smile instead.

Anders watched her attempt to smile and hoped that it meant the worst was over. She looked tired so Anders tried to get answers the best way he could.

"Does this happen often?" he asked. "Is this the epilepsy you spoke of?"

Allison found that she could nod, which she did.

Anders considered that for a moment. "Is there something that I can do to help?"

Allison licked her lips. "Backpack."

Anders wanted to kick himself; he should have realized that she was thirsty. He drew a cup of water for her and held it to her mouth, helping her to drink slowly.

"There is that better?"

Allison smiled again. "Thanks."

Anders took his seat again. "You said something about a backpack?"

Allison nodded. "I was wearing it when I came here. I don't know if those men took it."

Anders thought back and remembered removing a heavy satchel when Tomwise laid her down.

"It's here. I put it away when you were brought in. Should I get it?" he asked and Allison nodded vigorously.

Anders went out and searched under the cots until he found her pack. He returned to find Allison trying to sit up.

"Wait, let me help you." he placed a strong hand under her arm and helped her lean against the wall. "Here's your bag."

Allison unzipped the backpack and rustled around until her hand closed over a bottle.

"Yes!" she cheered.

Anders' looked at the strange container. "What is that?"

Allison beamed, feeling much better. "Medicine. I'm so glad you found it."

Understanding dawned on his face. "Ah, I see. You must take this to stop the fits from occurring?"

Allison grimaced at his use of the word "fit" but, oh well. "Yes, that's right. It doesn't make them go away completely but it helps a lot."

Anders looked disturbed and Allison grew concerned. Maybe seeing her like that had freaked him out? It wouldn't be the first time that things had become awkward after someone had seen her seize.

Allison bit her lip, feeling self-conscious and weird. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." she mumbled.

Allison was annoyed with herself. She had really thought that she was past all of that uneasy, self-doubting crap!

Anders merely looked confused. "Why would you think I'm uncomfortable?"

Allison hesitated, wondering if she had mistaken his expression.

"Well, you just saw a total stranger fall on your floor and shake like a maniac. That didn't bother you?" she asked dubiously.

Anders looked at her very seriously. "Allison, of course it bothered me, but it was because I couldn't _help_ you. I didn't know what to do, and when I tried to heal you my magic was blocked."

"Oh." was Allison's brilliant comeback. "Sorry for assuming the worst. It's just that I've had friends before that got creeped out when they saw what you just did."

Anders frowned darkly. "Well then, I guess they weren't really your friends."

Allison allowed that possibility and shrugged.

A voice from outside got their attention. Anders stiffened and Allison wondered at the sudden change in him.

"Wait here." he ordered and left her on the bed.

Anders grabbed his staff and peered around the wall. He relaxed immediately when he saw a young boy standing at the door holding a bag.

"Hello." he called. "Can I help you?"

"Yes sir." the boy answered. "My mum sent me with these herbs for you sir."

Anders smiled and took the gift. "Ah yes. Thank you very much and tell your mother that I appreciate it."

The boy grinned, showing quite a few missing teeth. "Thank you sir." He spun around to dart out the door but came to stop and turned back. "And thank you for helping my dad."

He took off then, leaving Anders to remember the days when _he_ had that much energy.

Allison, having heard the voice of a child, determined that whatever Anders had been worried about couldn't involve a little boy.

She tested her legs and found that she was able to move around. That was good. She took a pill out of the bottle and drank some water to wash it down.

Allison came out after the boy left. "Is it safe?" she teased.

Anders whirled around and was astonished to find her up. "What are you doing? Get back to bed!" he commanded.

Allison scoffed. "I feel better. Let me see what they gave you." She reached for the bag and Anders unwillingly gave it to her.

She went to the table and placed the various herbs out she could study them.

"Hmmm…what do you know about these?" she asked him.

Anders picked up a chair and placed it behind her, pushing her gently into the seat. Allison scowled but said nothing and waited for him to answer.

"Well," he inspected each bunch. "These aren't bad. This one," he said holding up a plant with light green leaves and white veins running through it, "is mint."

Allison was thrilled. "We have mint where I come from! What are the others" she demanded with excitement.

Anders was puzzled by her enthusiasm but pleased that the herbs made her happy. The light dancing in her eyes made him smile. He described each group to her, explaining their tastes.

Allison rubbed her hands together like she was plotting something evil. Anders tried not to look scared.

"If I had some vegetables I could really make something with that!" she said pursing her lips.

Anders cocked his head. "You cook?" he asked sounding suspicious.

Allison wrinkled her nose. "You don't have to sound so nervous and _yes_, I cook. It's what I do back home."

Anders thought for a moment. "Well, in an incredibly lucky turn of events I happen to have a sovereign. Shall I go shopping?" he offered chivalrously.

Allison flashed him a bright smile and Anders felt his stomach jitter. He hoped that his face wasn't reflecting how he was feeling.

He held up a hand before she could get too excited. "But, _I_ will do the cooking. You can direct me."

Allison grumbled but agreed. She had always found cooking to be therapeutic and she needed the distraction.

While Anders was gone Allison decided to look at some of the books he had lying around.

"_History of the Tevinter Imperium"_

"_The Alchemist's Handbook"_

"_Andraste: Bride of the Maker"_

"_The Fade: A Realm of Secrets"_

The last title got her attention and Allison sat down to read. She didn't hear him return.

"Find anything interesting?" Anders asked, feeling guilty when she jumped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Allison laughed a little nervously. "That's alright. I didn't realize how much time had passed. This book is very engrossing."

Anders put the bag of vegetables down. "Oh? In what way?" he inquired, sincerely interested in her thoughts.

"Well, where I come from, there is no such thing as the Fade." she began.

Anders' gaped at her, disbelieving. "What! How is that possible? Don't you dream?"

Allison nodded. "Of course we do but we don't go off to some magic place with spirits and evil creatures running around. We just…" she waved her hands around vaguely. "Dream."

Anders was quiet for a while as he contemplated such a thing. "No wonder there are no mages where you come from. There is no connection to the Fade!" He shivered as the thought reminded him of being made Tranquil.

Allison made a sound of agreement. "That's possible I suppose. But I was wondering if the Fade may have had something to do with how I got here."

Anders sat down. "Hmmm…what makes you think that?"

Allison drew on all of her knowledge of Star Trek. "I'm not sure but, the Fade is what people from my world would call another dimension. Maybe it somehow came in contact with my reality and pulled me in." she shrugged. "It's just an idea but at this point I have to consider everything."

Anders mulled over her words. "It's not impossible. Perhaps we can do more research to see if anything like this has ever happened before?"

Allison's face fell just a bit and Anders rose, coming to her side. "What's wrong?" he asked gently.

Allison felt silly. "I'm sorry. I'm not usually this emotional. It's just that…you're so willing to help me and you don't even _know_ me. I'm not used to someone being this kind."

Anders smiled crookedly. "I'm not being _completely_ unselfish. To be honest, I'm used to being alone when patients aren't here. It's wonderful to have some company."

The corners of Allison's mouth turned up a little and Anders found himself wanting to run his thumb over the fullness of her lip. She was watching him with serious eyes and he swallowed hard. Anders got to his feet briskly and stepped back, clearing his throat.

"Well…why don't you show me what to do with all of this?" he said gesturing to the vegetables.

Allison looked at him with a peculiar expression and then walked over to the table.

Some of the vegetables seemed familiar. One looked like a potato and another reminded her of leeks. She could definitely work with this!

Anders looked worried. "I hope I got enough. A sovereign doesn't go as far as it used to."

Allison grinned at him. "You did very well." she commended him. "We just need to cut these up. Do you have a pot that can go in that fire pit?"

Anders rummaged around and came out with a deep pot like the cast iron ones from home.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. "Now…"

"No." Anders interrupted. "Remember our arrangement? You sit and I will do the cutting."

Allison pouted but took her seat. "I'm not good at teaching." she muttered.

Anders wasn't moved by her display. "Then now is a good time to learn a new skill." he said cheerily.

Allison stuck her tongue out at him but his back was turned.

Anders drew a knife from a small sheath on his belt. "Alright, what do I do?"

Allison directed him on how to make the broth and what sizes the vegetable should be cut in. They actually made a good team she thought.

Anders was surprised that he was enjoying himself. Of course the prospect of eating something besides bread and water was bound to improve his mood.

As they sat waiting for the soup to finish simmering, Allison and Anders shared stories.

Allison described her work back in Seattle and her dreams of opening a restaurant. Anders told her about escaping from the Circle seven times.

"_Seven_ times!" she cried aghast. "You were quite determined weren't you?"

Anders laughed, not as bitterly as he would have before. "Yes I was. It didn't matter that I would be an apostate for the rest of my life. I just had to get out. By the end, they put me in solitary confinement in the Tower. I thought I would go mad!"

Allison sobered quickly. "I'm sorry Anders. The way they treat mages in inhuman."

Anders felt contrite because he had painted the picture only one way. That wasn't fair.

"To be honest, the Circle can do some good when it's run properly. Not that mages should be forced into seclusion but there are some who come into their powers and have no control. They can kill people by accident or worse yet they can be overcome by temptation."

Allison thought back to the book. "Yes, I read about that. There was section on abominations, right?"

Anders felt his skin prickle with unease. He didn't want Allison to think of him that way but if she knew about Justice…

"Yes, it can happen. But, that's no reason for mages to be hated and feared! Anyone can make a mistake." he said sadly.

Allison was quiet for a long time and Anders became afraid. Was she wondering if he was dangerous? Was she frightened of him?

Justice stirred.

Allison tapped her foot for a moment and then glanced up at him. "It seems to me that the temptation for power affects everyone no matter who they are, or where they're from. And it can turn people into monsters of all kinds."

Anders released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He felt his muscle relax and the tension in his body seeped out.

"Thank you." he said simply.

"What for?" Allison asked.

"For being so accepting, so open." he replied.

His eyes rested on her face and Allison felt her cheeks warm.

"You haven't done anything wrong Anders. If there are more mages like you then your world is a better place for it." she said earnestly.

A new tension went through Anders and he had to fight a strong urge to reach for her.

Allison observed the change in Anders' posture but she didn't understand what had caused it. All she knew was that the way he looked at her made her stomach tighten, and it wasn't unpleasant.

_Whoa girl! Don't forget where you are!_

"That should be enough time for the soup. Let's check on it." she suggested, trying to get her head to clear.

Anders didn't move for a moment and Allison wondered if he had heard her. He got up before she repeated herself.

"I'll get it." he said, almost to himself.

Allison picked up the two wooden bowls Anders had dug up and he spooned some soup into each one.

They sat in front of the fire and Allison amused by her own nervousness. This had been her idea, her recipe and she wasn't sure if people here ate like this or not. She was actually fretting over whether Anders would like it or not.

He had so little, she just wanted him to enjoy something. Allison watched his face for any clue as to what he thought.

Anders blew on the broth and inhaled the scent. It was mouthwatering! It had been so long since he'd had a real meal.

He cautiously sipped the soup and taste exploded on his tongue!

Allison saw Anders' face light up and then she gawked as he promptly lifted the bowl to his mouth and emptied it.

Allison was speechless. She was shocked he hadn't burned himself.

"Um, was it good?" she asked, trying to keep her expression clear.

Anders froze and glanced at her sheepishly. "Oh. Sorry. I…should probably tell you about being a Gray Warden."

***Please review!***


	6. Chapter 6 Perspective

***Thank you to those who have reviewed the chapters so far. I would love to hear more thoughts on the story. Is there something that you think Allison should see or experience? I'm open to suggestions if they don't conflict with where I'm going.**

**I'm not really happy with this chapter but I had to get a transition going to move the story along so the action can start.**

**Also, at the moment it seems like Allison is kind of a sub-character compared to Anders but that will change, so keep reading.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 6 – Perspective

After dinner, Anders rearranged the bedroom so that he could be close if Allison needed him.

"I have a screen that we can use for privacy. I'll put it between our beds, but this way I can be here if you need anything." he said trying not to blush like an idiot.

Allison floundered for a second before responding. "Oh. Thank you. Would you like to take your bed back?" _Why did her voice sound so husky?_

Anders took one look at the bed and then looked back at her. Something rippled across his face but he shook his head.

"No, that's alright. I've gotten quite used to the cot. I usually sleep so hard that I don't notice the sensation of invisible fingers poking me in the back."

Allison laughed. "Tell me about it. I think these could be used as torture devices."

Anders grinned and started to lay down, when Allison stopped him.

"That reminds me. I wanted to at least give you your pillow back. I don't need it and it will make me feel better if you have it." She handed the embroidered cushion to him.

Anders smiled sadly. "Thank you. I love this pillow."

Allison studied it, admiring the needlework. "Where did you get it? It's beautiful."

Anders looked pained and Allison regretted asking him.

"My mother made it. When the Circle took me away from her, they let me keep it." He flinched. The memory was still fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

There was nothing that she could say to take the hurt away. "I'm sorry Anders."

Anders tried to force the melancholy away. "It's fine. It was a long time ago." He turned his back to her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." she replied lamely.

Anders laid down and made an effort to ignore the fact that Allison was only a few feet away from him. _**In his bed**_**.**

He turned over, sinking into the pillow and found his senses inundated with Allison's scent. _Maker!_ _How could anyone smell that good? She hadn't even had a bath!_

The thought of Allison and baths quickly led to images that Anders hadn't entertained in _years_.

He didn't realize that he'd groaned out loud until he heard Allison ask him if he was alright.

"Yes…yes I'm fine. Sorry." he stammered. Was he so lonely that a pillow could make his breath quicken? Apparently, yes. Being celibate had obviously turned him into a simpleton.

He tried to relax and think about something _non_-sexual.

_The grumpy old hag who ran the Circle library when he was a teenager._

_The feel of cold mud seeping into his boots while running after darkspawn in Amaranthine._

_Leaving poor Ser Pounce-A-Lot behind._

There, that was better.

Anders decided that he should come up with a list since Allison would be there for a while…

The next morning soup was for breakfast too but neither of them cared.

Allison sat watching Anders gobble down another bowl. Today, they were supposed to look through some of the books Anders had to see if they figure out how Allison had gotten to Thedas, but she had some questions.

"Anders?"

He made a muffled sound that she interpreted to mean, "What?" She snickered and continued.

"Tell me about Isabela. She was very interesting. Who is she?"

Anders didn't look pleased but he wiped his mouth and put the bowl down.

"She's an acquaintance of sorts. Sometimes we go on jobs together to make a little coin. My friend Varric joins us from time to time." he answered.

Allison's attention was captured. "What kind of jobs do you do? And who's Varric?"

Anders chuckled as Allison propped her elbows on the table, her eyes alight with curiosity.

"Well, it depends on the job. Sometimes we're hired to clear out slavers or raiders. Other times, people need help with…infestations." He smiled sincerely when he spoke of his friend. "Varric is a surface dwarf who always has an eye out for making money. But, he's not greedy. In fact, I have reason to believe that he's paid off some people so I'm not harassed by criminals here."

"That's very kind of him." Allison commented. "So, there are dwarves here too? Wow this is amazing. What did you mean when you said that he's a _surface_ dwarf?"

"Most dwarves live underground in Orzammar, their city. It's unusual for a dwarf to live above ground. Most who do are casteless or very adventurous." Anders eyes sparkled with merriment. "Dwarves are taught that if you go to the surface, you'll fall into the sky."

Allison looked skeptical. "Are you joking with me?"

Anders laughed and shook his head. "No, I promise, it's true. Many surface dwarves spend their first few months above crouching in fear, thinking that the sky is going to swallow them up."

"Is Varric like that?" she asked.

"No. Varric is _very_ comfortable on the ground. And he's a master archer as well. Very capable of taking care of himself."

Allison's expression became troubled. "So, there are criminals and you… what? Arrest them?"

Anders looked puzzled. "No, we don't arrest them; we're not the city guard. We try to free anyone who's been captured or put the gangs out of business. And we put the fear of the Maker into them in the process."

Allison still wasn't clear on exactly _what_ they did. "And how do you do that?"

Anders shrugged. "We kill many of them. Some escape with enough injuries to make them reconsider coming back, but there's always someone else waiting to pick up where they left off." He glowered, thinking about all of the people they had been too late to save.

Allison was trying to digest what she had just heard. "You _kill_ them?" her voice sounded hoarse.

Anders peered at her, discerning that she was disturbed by what he had said.

"The guards are stretched too thin to respond to every crime, and sometimes action needs to be taken right away." He weighed her expression and found himself confused.

Allison pondered his words for long while before saying anything.

"I get that Kirkwall is different. It's just that when I look at you…it's difficult to see you as a killer." She seemed to be trying to reconcile that as she stared at him.

Anders' features tightened and he glared at the floor. "I don't want to kill _anybody_. I'm a healer, I just want to help. But I don't have that luxury."

He turned his gaze towards her and it was angry. "I'm an apostate. That means that my choices for surviving are extremely limited."

Allison sat back, putting distance between them. She couldn't help it if finding out that the person she was living with made money killing people bothered her; even if they were bad people.

She was used to having police around, and a judicial system. True, it didn't always work. Evil still existed and criminals still got away with hurting innocent people. But, it was like Anders and his friends had assigned themselves as judges and executioners.

"Where I come from, it's against the law to take justice into your own hands. It's not easy for me to accept that it's ok for random people to just put someone to death without a trial." she said cooly.

Anders' lip curled in disgust. "Justice? You would speak to me of justice?" he snapped, slamming the palm of his hand on the table. There was a spark of blue that travelled across his skin.

Allison jumped, startled by the abrupt change in his mood and by the strange light coming from him.

Anders' eyes narrowed and he leaned forward towards her.

"Tell me what is _just_ about a person having to spend the rest of their life in hiding because they were born a mage, but they yearn for freedom? What _justice_ is there when a Templar can strike you down on sight because you don't submit?" His voice was shaking with anger.

Allison wasn't sure how to respond. The waves of fury coming off of Anders made her nervous and his voice sounded different. The timbre was off. She decided that staying calm might be best.

"Anders, I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just saying that I'm not used to this. Try to see it from my point of view." she said carefully.

There was a flash of blue in his eyes and Allison's breathing sped up. Something was very wrong.

"Then you believe that mages don't have the right to defend themselves? That they should allow themselves to be crushed under the heel of the Templars?" Anders' voice was becoming more distorted.

Allison struggled with the urge to run. Anders was scaring her, but it was like he wasn't quite himself.

"Anders, we weren't talking about mages. We were talking about slavers and gangs. Remember?" she said, trying to keep her tone mild.

_Justice calm down! You're frightening her damnit! She doesn't know any better and you jumped over to subject of mages on your own._

_**She presumes to judge us. She has no right.**_

_Allison doesn't understand this world and your actions aren't helping. Stop it!_

Justice receded and Anders was able to take control again. He hadn't been pushed aside completely, so Allison had only seen glimpses of Justice. He had to fix this.

Anders rose from the table and cringed when Allison stiffened and scooted her chair back.

"I'm sorry. I'm fine. I shouldn't have gone off like that. And you're right we weren't talking about mages at all." he said. He felt sick and was afraid to meet her eyes.

"What happened just now? Was that a…magic thing? The light and your voice?" she asked hesitantly.

Anders forced himself to look at her. She watched him like he was a caged animal.

"Yes, it was a magic thing." he tried to laugh it off. "I got angry and I lost control a little. I apologize." he said, his tone heartfelt.

Allison didn't feel like such a great person herself. "I'm sorry too. I was thinking about things from my own perspective and I can't do that here. I didn't mean to imply that you're a bad person, because I don't think you are at all."

Anders smiled for real this time. "Thank you. In truth, I wish that there was more that the law could do. There are so many crimes happening all over Kirkwall that go unnoticed. Or people being victimized who aren't important enough to garner attention."

Allison was wary to bring it up but Anders used some words that she needed an explanation for.

"Anders, I have a question but I don't want to make you all glowie again." she began, trying to keep it light.

Anders chuckled. "It's alright. Ask me. I'll try to contain myself."

Allison considered him for a moment as if trying to decide if he meant it.

"You said something about being and apostate and about the Templars. What did you mean?"

Before he responded, Anders had a quick talk with Justice.

_I'll explain it to her, but I can't have you showing up and scaring her again, so get ahold of yourself!_

Anders felt a mulish acceptance from the spirit and assumed that he was understood.

Anders sat back down and tried to separate himself from the emotions that went along with talking about Templars.

"Every mage in Thedas is required to stay in the Circle. Any who refuse or escape are branded apostates. Templars are the right arm of the Chantry and they track down apostates, either forcing them back to the Circle or killing them on sight." _There! He'd said it without losing control._

Allison felt like her stomach had fallen through the floor. "Wait…you're saying that these Templars can come and get you at any time, and they might _kill_ you!"

The sincerity of her concern rang true and Anders felt Justice settle.

"I've been protected by my status as a Gray Warden. When I was conscripted, the Circle could no longer take me away. I've used that position to avoid being captured, but in Kirkwall things aren't so easy." he explained.

"You told me about the Gray Wardens yesterday. They can't help you here?" Allison inquired, trying to keep all of the details straight.

"The Gray Wardens' authority is recognized everywhere, but now that the blight is over, it would be easier for the Templars to find a reason to bring me in." he clarified. "In Kirkwall, the Templars are _especially_ powerful and they don't always follow the Chantry's rules."

Allison was deeply troubled by his words. "So, there are Templars _here,_ and that's why you hide?"

"Yes". Anders studied Allison, trying to decipher her thoughts. There were so many emotions flittering over her face that he couldn't figure out how she was feeling.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly when she hadn't spoken for a long time.

Allison wasn't sure how to answer that question. "I'm just trying to comprehend all of this. You're a healer. You help people for free. You hunt down criminals. _And_ you're a wanted man. Is that right?"

Anders wanted to laugh at her summary but he kept a straight face. "Well, when you put it like that…"

He took a chance and nudged her chin up with his hand. She didn't back away from his touch and Anders was relieved.

"It's alright. It'll take more than a few Templars to take me out." he assured her with a charming smirk.

Allison wasn't so sure, but considering the alternative was painful for some reason. Anders was a good person whether she agreed with everything he did or not.

Wanting to shake off the distressing thoughts, Allison changed the subject.

"Can I meet Varric?" she asked hopefully.

Anders looked surprised. "You want to meet him? I thought that you wanted to do research."

"I do, but maybe afterwards I could meet your friend? It's just that…I'm _here_ now and I just realized that I'll never have this opportunity again. To see another world like this? I just want to look around a little." she smiled, trying to butter him up.

Anders thought that she looked like a child asking for sweets. How could he say no to that face?

"Alright. Research first, then we go to the Hanged Man." he agreed.

"What's that?" she asked, confused by the name.

"It's a tavern where we meet up. Varric is sure to be there." Anders replied.

Allison hopped up from her chair. "Yes! Ok what do we read first?"

Anders smiled indulgently. "I've got a few books that I thought we could start with. I'll take one and you take another. If there's something you don't understand, just ask and I'll explain it."

Allison nodded and took the book he offered her.

"_Realms of Consciousness: A Study of Man's Mind"_

Allison wrinkled her nose at the title. It sounded really dull but maybe existential literature in Thedas was different than the crap she'd read back home.

An hour later Anders made a sound of interest. Allison perked up.

"Did you find something?" she asked, scooting her chair closer to his.

"Possibly." he said stroking the stubble on his chin. "I was thinking about the lights you described. There's a part here that talks about fractures in the Fade where the two planes of existence can bleed through. It's described as floating lights." He looked at her with raised eyebrows.

Allison read through the passage he mentioned. She had to admit that it could be the same phenomenon.

Allison folded her arms. "It sounds like something to look into. What do we do?"

Anders glanced back at the book. "It says here that there are some places where the two parts are more likely to meet. The barrier between planes is weaker there. Perhaps we can find such a place and study it?"

"Ok. And how do we find the right place?" she asked.

Anders looked amused. "Apparently we were going to need to see Varric anyway. If anyone has spoken of something like this before, Varric can find out. He's knows every tall tale ever spoken in the Free Marches."

He stood and offered a hand to Allison. "Shall we?"

She took it and squeezed. "I'm so excited! I get to meet a dwarf!"

Anders sighed in bemusement. "You find the strangest things appealing."

Allison tilted her head haughtily. "You won't dampen my mood, mage. I'm going to enjoy myself."

Anders chuckled and absorbed the fact that she was still holding his hand. It felt comfortable…right.

"I wouldn't dream of it. I find myself curious what your thoughts on Kirkwall will be." he admitted.

Anders locked the door of the clinic and they made their way through Darktown. It was afternoon now and the sun was slanting over the waters outside the edge of the city. The waters of the sea were churning strongly and the scent of salt water clung to everything.

_Of course, Darktown could use a new smell_, Anders thought.

The hordes of refugees who were without water to wash and places to dispose of their waste made the streets teem with disease and odor. He tried to steer Allison around the worst of it. He could tell by her face that she was appalled at the conditions.

Anders felt that same embarrassment wash through him again.

"Stop it." Allison said firmly.

Anders was startled by her tone and her words. "Stop what?"

She pressed her lips together in annoyance and Anders tried to figure out what had made her mad.

Allison tugged on his hand and stopped walking. "You're doing that thing again where you feel bad about where you live. Don't do that. You don't have anything to be ashamed of."

Anders didn't know how she had discerned that.

"What makes you think that?" he asked carefully.

Allison looked insulted. "I'm not stupid. I can _see_ you. You're face gets red and you avoid looking at me. It happened before in the clinic and it's happening now."

Anders felt like a child who had been chastised.

"I'm sorry. It's just humiliating to see so many Fereldens living like this and to know that I'm not much better off in some ways." He sighed. "I've never had anyone live with me before and I didn't know that it would bother me so much."

Allison made a playful face. "Well, you know, all you need are a few curtains to brighten the place up."

Anders laughed. "Yes, of course. Curtains! Why didn't I think of that?"

Allison seemed pleased that she had made him laugh. Anders pulled her along and they came to an area with less crowding where a few vendors tried to sell their wares.

Allison glanced to her left and stopped in her tracks.

There was a man with his head bent down as he mixed several liquids together, but it was his ears that brought back a memory.

"You!" she said pointing.

The man jumped as if he had been caught doing something bad and then he blinked as he saw who had called to him.

The man with the pointed ears smiled at her and approached them. "Well hello Miss! You look much better than the last time I saw you."

"I remember you." she said quietly, thinking back. "Those men attacked me and then I saw your face. You helped me get to the clinic."

Anders placed a hand on the elf's shoulder. "I should definitely introduce the two of you. Allison, this heroic figure is Tomwise. Tomwise the damsel you rescued is Allison."

Allison put out her hand. Tomwise seemed to be surprised by the gesture and he hesitated.

Allison didn't know what was wrong. "Oh, do people not shake hands here?" she asked Anders, worried that she had committed some kind of social faux-pas.

Anders understood why Tom looked so taken aback, so he addressed the elf instead of answering Allison's question directly.

"Tom, she's not like other Shemlen. She has no knowledge of elves and no prejudice to blind her." Anders explained kindly.

Tom seemed to shake himself out of his stupor and he stepped forward, firmly grasping Allison's hand in his own.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Miss. Glad you're up and about."

Allison considered Tomwise with a slightly overwhelmed expression. "I don't know what to say Mister Tomwise. How can I thank you for what you did?"

The elf waved his hands dismissively and shook his head. "Now, now. It's just Tomwise. No Mister, if you please. And I did what any decent person would do. There's nothing else to it."

Anders knew that Tom meant what he said and he saw that Allison wasn't satisfied.

"Tom, how is your wife doing?" Anders turned to Allison. "Tom's wife is expecting."

Allison's eyes lit up. "Oh! Congratulations!"

Pleased that he had distracted her Anders listened to Tom talk about his wife's mood swings and general grouchiness.

"It's the same as it was with the other three though so I'm used to it." Tom said sagely.

"If you like, there's a blend of tea that I can make that might help." Anders offered.

Tom guffawed. "I may have experience, but I'm not going to turn that down!"

Anders grinned. "I'll bring it by for you later then."

Anders took Allison's hand again and they bid Tom goodbye. He leaned down so he could speak in her ear.

"There, do you feel better now? I know you wished you could do something for him to say thank you."

Allison turned her head to answer him and because he was so close her lips brushed the stubble on his jaw.

She actually gasped and Anders froze.

_Smooth move_, she thought. And it didn't help that her lips were now tingling pleasantly from the sensation.

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to kiss you." she said hurriedly. "Honestly. I didn't realize you were so close." Allison heard herself and then tried to take back the insult. "Not that kissing you would be _bad_." She grimaced. "Wait! That's not what I meant. Well…it _is_ but it _isn't_."

Anders started laughing. He couldn't help it. She was standing there, stammering and fretting and it was too funny.

Anders couldn't deny that he had been affected by the touch of her lips, but her amusing attempt to diffuse the situation had melted away any awkwardness that might have ensued.

When Anders could finally take a breath, he saw Allison glaring at him. He tried not to laugh again, but he _did_ want to have some fun with her.

He stepped close to her, his robes brushing against her, and tilted her face up.

"Sweetheart, _that_ wasn't a kiss. If you want me to show you sometime just let me know." His voice was low and slightly rough.

Anders watched her eyes go soft and dark, and suddenly his joke wasn't funny anymore.

He was tempted to "show her" right there in front of everyone. He remembered the tremble that had gone through his body when her lips had grazed his jaw, and his hands tightened on her face.

Allison vaguely registered that she wasn't breathing as Anders held her face. His eyes had been twinkling with mischief when he had offered to kiss her, but her body had reacted with complete seriousness. Then his eyes had changed, and they had gone from twinkling to smoldering in seconds.

_**Was**__ he going to kiss her? _Allison wouldn't resist and she was humiliated to know that. _They had just met for goodness sake!_

Anders attention was wrenched back to the present when a vagrant starting hacking a few feet away from them.

Anders looked furiously over at the man who proceeded to drop his pants and urinate against the wall.

_Maker's breath! _He thought angrily._ Well, what were you going to do, seduce her in the alleys of Darktown?_

He shouldn't be thinking of seducing her at _all_. It wasn't safe.

It was for the best. The spell was broken. Anders released her and gestured towards the lift that would take them out of Darktown.

"After you." he offered with a forced smile.

Allison seemed shaken but she got on. Anders pulled the rope and the platform raised them to the upper streets.

***Please review, just be gentle since I already know this chapter wasn't that good.***


	7. Chapter 7 Anomaly

***Thank you to meghershey, DioIsDead, Ellistriel, and Cyclonic Pen for the reviews! It means so much to have feedback and it **_**really**_** helps me to keep writing.**

**Thank you to everyone who has marked this story as a favorite as well. And I would appreciate it if other readers could let me know their thoughts. Seriously, when writing, getting reviews is like fuel.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 7 – Anomaly

The sight of Kirkwall outside the dreariness of Darktown was almost too much for Allison's mind to comprehend.

Everything was so different, so alien. Even the smells were a strange mixture of the familiar and the exotic.

Kirkwall was filled to the brim with people. She heard lilting accents and unusual cadences all around her. Anders kept his hand on her back as they walked and Allison felt grounded by the contact.

Despite her nerves, she couldn't resist the surge of excitement that poured through her. She tried not to gawk outright as she carefully observed the individuals they passed. There was so much color and texture! She wanted to reach out and feel the various fabrics that the citizens wore.

Allison noticed a subtle divergence from what she had become used to in the part of Kirkwall that Anders called Lowtown. There weren't any elves around.

"Anders, where are the elves?" she asked.

Anders sighed. "They're in the Alienage. When elves dwell in human cities, they are forced to live separately from the rest of the people."

Allison was sure that she wasn't going to like the reason but she had to ask anyway. "Why?"

Anders' jaw clenched in anger. "Elves aren't considered people by most humans. They've been relegated to second-class citizens, and they have no rights. Many crimes are perpetrated against them but the guards look the other way."

"It seems like humans in Kirkwall are just as stupid as humans back home." she said, disgusted. "We like to pretend that we're _so_ evolved, but we're not as far along as we should be."

Anders nodded. "Perhaps it's human nature then."

Allison groaned. "I hope not. I like to think that we're better than that."

Anders smiled slightly. "Maybe one day we will be."

"So, if elves are supposed to live in the Alienage, why are some of them in Darktown?" she asked.

Anders scoffed. "Darktown is a privy. They don't care who ends up wasting away down there, including elves."

Allison winced. "Is there anything nice about this place?"

Anders grimaced. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid that being exposed to the realities of the slums has somewhat colored my opinion on things. Maybe I've spent too much time down there."

Allison skidded to a sudden halt and Anders instinctively put an arm around her waist, pulling her back towards him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing the look of disbelief on her face.

"Wha…what _is_ that?" she said pointing.

Anders looked up and grinned. Allison was staring at the symbol of the Hanged Man: a knight bound and hanging upside down over the entry.

He put his hands on her shoulders, leaning close. "I told you we were going to the Hanged Man. What did you expect?"

Allison snorted. "I wasn't expecting a man to actually be _hanging_ here. Did they execute people here?" she asked in a scandalized tone.

Anders laughed in earnest now. "No, of course not! It refers to being drunk. Haven't you ever heard that before?"

Allison scowled. "I'm sorry." she crooned sarcastically. "I don't get roaring drunk on a regular basis so I'm not familiar with all the alcoholic lingo."

Anders was entertained by her acerbic remark. "Temper, temper." he clucked. "Come on; let's introduce you to Kirkwall's pillars of the community."

He guided her inside and Allison was hit in the face with a pungent mix of body odor, booze and roasted meat.

"Whoa!" she cried and backed into him. "That is an interesting array of smells."

Allison's nose was scrunched up, and Anders thought that she looked adorable and completely out of place.

"I'd tell you that you get used to it but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a _bad_ thing." he quipped.

Allison tried to ignore the aroma and absorbed the atmosphere instead.

The tavern had high ceilings similar to the ones in Anders' clinic and large bowl-shaped chandeliers hung above the tables. There were battered wooden tables scattered about with bench seats.

At one table Allison saw a man in worn leather throw back his beverage with gusto before hunching his shoulders and resting his face on the mug. At another table a man in (was that _**pink**_?), silk looking garments, flirted with a woman wearing a dress in brown burlap. She looked tired and her face was drawn but the man was holding her hand and flashing a gold coin in front of her.

Anders took hold of her arm and led her towards the back, where a man with a _very _hairy chest sat with his feet propped up on the table. There was a wicked looking crossbow hanging on the back of his chair. Allison had never seen the likes of it before.

"Well hello there Blondie." The man greeted Anders warmly. His eyes travelled over her and he raised an eyebrow. "Who's the ravishing creature on your arm?"

Anders couldn't believe his eyes. He watched Allison flush and his mouth fell open. He heard Varric chuckle quietly.

Anders rolled his eyes. "Varric this is Allison. Allison, the rakish, smooth-talking dwarf is Varric."

Allison waved. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

Varric stood and bowed gallantly. "It's a pleasure milady. Varric Tethras at your service."

"Oh, _please_!" Anders groaned. "Give it a rest Varric."

Varric looked amused. "Afraid of a little competition Blondie?" Varric taunted amiably.

Anders frowned. "Competition? What are you talking about?"

Varric took his seat again and regarded Allison for a moment.

"Well, you've been keeping this lovely lady to yourself. All alone in your quarters." Varric shrugged. "You've never had…guests before, so I assumed that you must be…entertaining."

Allison may not have been from Thedas but even she understood what Varric was implying and she was _not_ amused.

She planted her hands on the shabby table and leaned forward.

"We just met, so I'm going to assume that you weren't trying to insult me. But just to be clear, I'm not that easy." She smiled sweetly and took a seat.

Anders gaped but Varric threw back his head and laugh lustily. Allison smirked, liking Varric for his sense of humor.

"I like her Blondie. Allison, can I buy you a drink?" he offered with a grin.

Allison smiled but declined. "It's a little early in the day and I don't really drink, but thank you."

A familiar voice chimed in behind her.

"Would you mind leaning over like that again Precious. The view from the back was delicious!"

Allison turned around while Anders swore under his breath.

Allison smiled, a little unsure of herself. "Isabela. It's nice to see you again."

The pirate sauntered over to the table, hips swaying in the most outrageous fashion and downed the rest of Varric's drink.

"Thanks a lot Rivaini." Varric muttered and gestured to the barkeep to bring over more drinks.

Isabela wiped her mouth with her hand and surveyed Allison with a heated gaze.

"I don't know what those pants are made out of, but they make your ass look fabulous." she commented with a sexy grin.

Allison wasn't sure if she wanted laugh or back away slowly. She decided on something in-between.

She cocked her head to the side. "It's called denim. They're jeans, and they cover more than _your_ clothes do." Allison observed, taking in Isabela's revealing ensemble.

Her comment only seemed to increase Isabela's interest.

"Noticed did you Sweet Thing?" Isabela posed prettily, exposing a long length of leg and quite a bit of cleavage in the process.

Anders grabbed Isabela's arm and propelled her into a seat opposite Allison.

"Can you try to control yourself Isabela?" he hissed. "You don't have to try and screw every living, breathing creature in the Free Marches!"

Isabela looked at Anders like he was mad. "Do you _know_ me? Besides, your new companion is the finest thing I've seen in a _long_ time."

Anders snorted. "And by "long time" do you mean since yesterday?"

Isabela ignored him and focused her attention on Allison. "So Precious, tell us all about you. I have to admit that I've never seen your particular dress before, and I've travelled quite far."

Allison wasn't comfortable being the center of attention but Anders just nodded.

"Um…well I'm not from here really." she began.

Anders interrupted, putting his hand up in warning towards the others. "You must keep this to yourselves. Allison's circumstances are…unique and I don't want it getting around."

Varric perked up. "I smell a story coming."

Allison kept it simple. She told them about her jaunt out into the woods and the lights. She described being attacked in Darktown and meeting Anders.

Anders felt himself warm as Isabela and Varric shot him bemused glances when Allison described him as a "gifted and kind man".

Allison finished her story and folded her hands on the table. "That's it." she concluded.

Varric was stupefied. "_That's it_? Honey, I hate to break it to you but that's one doozey of trick you pulled getting here."

Anders turned serious. "Varric, have you heard of anything like this before?" He told them of the research they had done.

Varric leaned back in his seat. "I've heard of people disappearing and popping up miles away with no memory but usually they were on the run from something." Varric stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Let me look into it."

Isabela looked curiously at Allison. "So what do you _do_ all day? Study dull books? Does Anders read to you from his manifesto at night to help you fall asleep?"

"Oh shut up Isabela!" Anders snapped peevishly.

Allison looked at him with interest. "You have a manifesto?"

Isabela looked devilish. "Oh! You haven't shown her your manifesto yet? Have you even gotten your _staff _out?"

Before Anders could respond, Allison's head whipped around. "Are you capable of talking about anything but sex?" she asked in exasperation.

Isabela shrugged. "Of course I can, but where's the fun in that?"

Allison studied the woman for a moment and changed tactics. "Where are you from Isabela?" she asked politely.

The pirate rolled her eyes. "I'm from Rivain, a lovely little country in the north east. Why?"

"I'm new here. I'm interested in the people and I've never met a pirate before." Allison replied mildly.

Isabela's expression fell for a moment. "I'm not much of a pirate without a ship." she said bitterly.

Varric patted her hand. "Don't worry. You'll get your boat back one day. In the meantime you get to enjoy my company _and_ my bar tab."

Isabela laughed and tipped her glass in Varric's direction. "True." She looked back at Allison. "There you have it. I'm a pirate who's waiting for a boat, and drinking free ale that tastes like piss."

Allison didn't give up. "What happened to your ship?"

Isabela gave her a hard glare. "I did something stupid, as usual, and I lost it. Why the hell do you care?"

Allison returned her stare but without the malice. "You're a mean drunk aren't you?"

Isabela laughed. "I'm not drunk yet, and you're cute when you're mouthy." Isabela leered at her but she didn't fall for it.

Allison nodded sagely. "Alright, I'll leave you alone. For now."

Anders got to his feet. "Varric, let me know if you find out anything."

The dwarf nodded and Allison stood up.

"Are we leaving already?" she asked.

Anders smiled. "I thought you'd like to see some more of Kirkwall."

"Where are you off to?" Varric inquired curiously.

"I think I'll take her to Hightown." Anders replied. "Why? Do you want to come along?"

Varric grabbed his crossbow. "I'd better. You're a walking target in that get up."

Anders looked insulted. "These are perfectly acceptable mages robes!"

"If you say so Blondie, but you'd never see any self-respecting dwarf running around in feathers." Varric retorted.

Allison scrutinized Anders' attire and smoothed the feathers on his shoulders.

"The robes threw me at first too, but I think he looks handsome." she complimented.

Varric waggled his eyebrows at the mage. "Well, you've finally found someone who can get past your fashion sense. She's a keeper!"

It was Anders' turn to flush now.

Allison decided to tease the dwarf.

"I must say, your chest hair is also quite impressive Varric." She grinned at him.

Varric chuckled. "It has been known to induce fainting."

Allison giggled and Anders took her hand again. She looked over at Isabela who was still seated at the table.

"Isabela, did you want to come with us." She thought the woman looked like she needed the company.

The pirate took a swig of her drink. "No thanks. This swill is almost starting to taste good."

Anders, Allison and Varric stepped out into the late afternoon street. As they made their way towards a large set of stairs a young elven boy came running up to them.

Many of the humans on the street sniffed their disdain as he passed them.

Anders recognized him as one of Tomwise's children.

"Healer! My papa sent me to find you. My mother's having pains. Will you come?" he asked nervously.

Anders glanced around quickly to make sure that no one had heard the boy refer to him as a healer.

"Calm yourself. I will return with you." Anders turned to Allison and Varric. "Varric will you take Allison on to Hightown for me?"

Allison grabbed Anders' arm. "Shouldn't I come with you? You might need help."

Anders smiled confidently. "No, everything's fine. The babe isn't coming yet, it's too early. I'll take a special powder over, and her pains will cease. Happens all the time."

He winked at her so Allison figured he knew what he was doing. Anders nudged her in the opposite direction.

He pressed a silver coin into her hand. "Go on, have fun with Varric. And Varric, don't let her out of your sight." he ordered severely.

Varric shook his head. "She'll be fine with me Blondie. Don't get your smalls in a twist."

Varric held a hand out in front of Allison and she waved goodbye to Anders.

As they walked, Varric pointed out all of the dwarven construction used to create the various parts of Kirkwall. Allison had never been really interested in engineering but the dwarves had amazing skills.

She found it unsettling that Kirkwall was decorated with large statues of emaciated slaves and she voiced her thoughts to Varric.

He scratched his chin. "Well, they figured the best way to keep the slaves in check was to remind them that there was no hope of escape or freedom. What better way to do that than with gigantic, depressing artwork?"

Allison looked behind her at the many steps they had already gone up.

"What's with all the stairs just to get to another part of town?" she said breathlessly.

Varric laughed. "They're trying to make a point. The nobles want to make sure that the unwanted, riff raff knows their place and their place is down there." he said, pointing.

Allison made a face. "You guys sure make your class distinctions obvious. I mean: _Low_town and _High_town? C'mon!"

Varric looked amused. "They didn't want anybody to get confused."

They finally made it to the top and Allison could see the difference immediately. Things were cleaner for one thing and the buildings were all in good repair.

"It's so light up here." she observed.

"Yes, well that's because you're used to the all the smoke from the foundries clouding everything up." Varric replied.

Allison noticed that she was getting a few strange looks.

"I think I'm sticking out." she whispered.

Varric looked incredulous. "Ya think?" He patted her arm. "Don't worry Denim. They're looking at you because you're something new."

Allison raised an eyebrow. "Denim?"

Varric shrugged. "It works. Just go with it." he suggested.

The two of them made their way around the various stalls. Allison took every opportunity to study the merchandise.

One man was selling robes and Allison marveled at the luxurious garments.

"Wow. These are nothing like Anders' robes! This one actually has gems sown on it!" The heavy robe was a deep burgundy and the collar was trimmed with fur.

"The Circle doesn't really have a dress code. I guess they decided that if the mages were going to be locked up, they were allowed to look good." Varric mused.

Allison was confused. "I thought the mages weren't allowed out of the Tower?"

"They can go out periodically if they're escorted by a Templar." he explained.

Allison pondered that for a moment. "You said that in a very neutral tone of voice. Do you have a problem with the way mages are treated Varric?"

He frowned. "Dwarves and magic don't really mix, but I can see why the Circle exists. Mages need training. But I don't believe in slavery and the Circle is just another prison."

Allison didn't say anything and instead they continued perusing the wares. She looked over to her left and saw a dwarf over by a table.

"Varric, there's a dwarf over there. Do you know him?" she inquired.

He saw where she was looking and rolled his eyes. "Oh. That's Worthy. Can you believe that he actually calls himself that? I mean who names themselves _Worthy_?"

Allison grinned. "Can we go over and say hi?"

Varric sighed good-naturedly. "If you must."

As they approached the dwarf she saw him slant a cocky smile at Varric.

"Hello Varric. I see you've finally gotten some female company besides that crossbow." he mocked in a jovial tone.

Varric pretended to be hurt. "Hey, Bianca's lady. Show some respect."

Before Allison could comment on the fact that Varric had named his crossbow, Worthy bowed politely.

"Hello there! Never seen anyone dressed like you before. Where are you from?" he asked.

Varric stepped in smoothly. "She bought the clothes off an Antivan tailor. The look hasn't caught on yet."

Allison made sure her expression stayed pleasant even though she had _no_ idea what an "Antivan" was.

"What do you sell Mr. Worthy." she asked, studying the strange rocks lying on the table. They had intricate carvings on them, each one different.

The dwarf's eyes lit up. "It's just Worthy, Miss. And I sell the best runes in the Free Marches." He gestured for her to come closer.

"What's a rune?" She couldn't tell what the rocks did that would be worth selling.

Varric answered. "Runes have magical properties. You can use them to make weapons and armor more formidable or durable."

"Really?" The thought fascinated her and Allison had to remind herself that magic was a part of life here. "Wait. I thought you said that magic and dwarves don't mix?" she looked at Worthy.

"That's the great thing about being a dwarf. We're the only ones who can handle lyrium without going crazy. That makes the rune crafting business quite lucrative for dwarves!" He rubbed his hands together happily.

That explanation hadn't helped much at all. "What's lyrium?"

Varric's expression became cautious. "Um, don't mind her. She's led a secluded life." He patted her back. "I'll tell you later." he said quietly.

Allison understood that she needed to be more careful about asking questions, so she tried to look chagrined.

As she reached out to examine one of the rune stones, something strange happened. There was a slight buzzing in her head and the design on the stone started to glow with a strange blue light.

Allison's eyes widened in surprise. "What's it doing?" she asked, not looking away.

She heard Varric's voice. "What is _what_ doing?"

"Is everything alright Miss?" Worthy asked.

Allison didn't understand why they sounded so confused. "It's glowing. Can't you see it?" she said.

Varric glanced at the stone and then back at Worthy. Worthy just shrugged and shook his head.

Varric placed a hand on Allison's shoulder. "It's not glowing kiddo."

Allison begged to differ. Not only was the stone glowing, there was some sort of… music flowing into her ears. It was coming from the stone.

"Can you hear the singing?" she whispered urgently.

It was Worthy who spoke now. "Wait! You can hear singing?" he asked in an astonished voice.

"Why? What does that mean?" Varric demanded, sounding worried.

Worthy's eyes were wide. "Only people who can manipulate lyrium hear sounds when they handle it. She shouldn't be able to do that. Is she a mage or something?" He asked the last question in a horrified whisper.

Varric took the stone out of Allison's hand and grabbed her arm. "No, she's not a mage. Trust me." He pulled her away from the table. "C'mon Cupcake, let's go."

Allison tried to go back. "But…but, the stone Varric! What about the stone?"

"Later! C'mon!" he said pulling her with him.

Worthy looked like he wanted to talk to her but Varric kept moving. They went up a flight of stairs and when they rounded the corner he stopped.

Allison pulled her arm away. "Why did you drag me off like that? Something happened and I want to know what it was!"

Varric ran a hand through his hair. "Look, when people start throwing the word "mage" around, you have to be careful. I didn't want anyone telling the Templars that there was an apostate running around in Hightown. Worthy wouldn't have said anything but I didn't know if anyone else was listening."

Allison's face fell. "Oh. I understand. But Varric…what happened to me back there?"

Varric looked dumbfounded. "I don't know Denim. You tell me."

Allison thought for a moment and focused on the sensations she had felt.

"It's hard to explain. It's like the stone was…speaking to me or something. I heard a weird buzzing in my head and then the music. And the stone seemed to vibrate in my hand." She frowned as she remembered. "It almost reminded me of how I feel sometimes before I have a seizure."

Varric looked alarmed. "Seizures? Are you ok?"

Allison brushed his worries off. "Yes, I'm fine. I just don't get it. There's no such thing as rune stones and lyrium where I come from. Why would it affect me?"

Varric contemplated her words carefully. "Maybe, it's precisely _because_ you're not from here. You've never been exposed to magic before. Maybe it affects people from your world differently?" he speculated.

"Hmmm." Allison chewed on her bottom lip. "What do you know about lyrium Varric?"

The dwarf put his hands up. "Not much. Runes were never my thing and no one in my family had the gift. Templars know the most about the stuff. They get shipments of lyrium over at the Gallows all the time."

"Why?" she asked.

Varric smirked. "I guess Blondie didn't tell you too much about the Templars besides the fact that they're evil incarnate?"

Allison waited expectantly for him to continue.

"Templars use processed lyrium to enhance their talents. They can drain a mage's mana with a touch, but they become addicted to the stuff in return." he replied.

"You mean they ingest it, like a drug?" That didn't make any sense to her.

Varric nodded. They drink lyrium potions, even though I've heard of some people sniffing lyrium dust to get a thrill."

An idea came to her and she deliberated for a moment before proposing it.

"Can we go to the Gallows?" Her eyes were bright with emotion.

Varric was taken aback. "Why would you wanna do that?"

Allison could still feel the effects on the rune stones in her head. "You said that Templars ingest lyrium. There will be Templars at the Gallows. I'm just curious what would happen if I got close to one."

She could tell that Varric was about to shoot her down so she allowed the fear she was feeling to show on her face.

"Please Varric." she beseeched. "I just want to see. It's not dangerous for non-mages to go there is it?"

Varric seemed to struggle inwardly before he sighed and raised his hands in defeat.

"It's safe enough for us. Just don't say anything about Anders ok?"

Allison flashed a relieved smile. "Of course I won't. Thank you Varric."

The dwarf groaned. "You don't get seasick do you?"

They took a boat from the docks that crossed over to the Gallows every hour. Allison swallowed audibly as they disembarked and Varric looked at her knowingly.

"Not pretty is it?" he said, gazing at the wall carvings.

Allison had been looking at those as well.

There were wall reliefs depicting slaves walking with their faces covered. They were depicted with their ribs sticking out from starvation and Allison felt ill. The reliefs matched the statutes that were mounted on the columns. Bronze figures, again covering their faces as if in despair. _And this is where they kept mages?_

Varric guided her over to a vendor. "Just look normal. The Templars have no reason to bother us."

Allison tried to be discreet as she studied the armored figures clad in distinctive armor.

They wore closed skirts with a bright red ensign that stood out, and then a type of open, over-skirt of gray and gold. Their chest plates were stamped with a sword that was surrounded by flames and many of them had closed helmets that only let you see their eyes. It was intimidating.

Allison started to question the wisdom of her request. She could see why Anders wanted to stay away from these people. They seemed cold and they stood like sentries, watching everyone's movements.

Varric seemed to discern that she wasn't sure how to proceed.

"Here, let's go over to the vendor on the far side of the courtyard. It will give you a chance to pass by a few Templars without being too obvious." he whispered.

They walked together and Allison tried to look casual. She knew that she was getting a few looks but they seemed more puzzled than concerned. _Maybe I should wear something other than jeans._

She and Varric passed a couple of young looking Templars and Allison waited to see if anything happened.

Nothing.

She frowned, a little disappointed. There was another group of Templars close to the stall they were approaching.

A man with red hair who was wearing what Allison identified as mage's robes beckoned them forward.

"Greetings my friends! My name is Solivitus. How may I help you?" He seemed very nice and Allison wondered why he was so comfortable surrounded by the guards.

She cleared her throat and attempted to appear natural. "What do you sell?"

The mage beamed proudly. "I have the finest selection of rare herbs and components for all kinds of exotic formulas. What are you looking for?"

Allison's mind went completely blank. _What did she know about this stuff?_

She thought of Anders and wondered if he could use anything here. It's not as if he would ever get to come to the Gallows on his own.

Allison glanced at Varric who just waited for her to come up with something brilliant.

"Um…do you have anything that…someone who…helps people with…various pains might use?" she stammered.

Varric pinched the bridge of his nose and Allison tried not wince at her choice of words.

Solivitus paused and then smiled kindly. He looked into her eyes, holding her gaze steadily, before reaching behind him to pull out a pouch.

"I think I have exactly what you need young lady. Never _**fear**_, I keep a variety of ingredients on hand for _all_ occasions." he said meaningfully.

Allison understood immediately that he knew what kind of person she was buying the herbs for and he was helping her. She reached into her pocket to take out the coin Anders had given her earlier but the mage stayed her hand.

"I offer a trial use of course. If the product pleases you then please feel free to return." Solitivus bowed gracefully and Allison shook his hand vigorously.

"Thank you." She grinned crookedly and the mage's eyes twinkled in amusement.

Allison spun around, incredibly pleased with herself, and promptly walked into a wall of armor.

"Oof!" She stumbled backwards but strong arms caught her firmly and steadied her.

"I'm sorry Milady! Are you alright?" a masculine voice asked with concern.

Allison saw the symbol of the sword and the flames in front of her face and forced her jaw not to fall open as she raised her eyes to the man before her.

She saw wavy strawberry blond hair that she knew would curl if it wasn't cut as short as it was. Eyes a mixture of gray and hazel stared down at her. The man had circles under his eyes as if he hadn't gotten enough rest the night before. He had a neat, thin beard, little more than stubble, closely trimmed.

As he watched her, his gaze became warm and Allison realized in mortification that she had been gawking at him like an idiot.

She blinked a few times and stepped back because his hands were still holding her.

"Are you alright?" he repeated.

Allison smiled brightly. "Yes, I'm fine. I just wasn't watching where I was going. Sorry."

_You __**would**__ plow right into a Templar wouldn't you!_

The Templar regarded her attire with a curious expression.

"I am Knight-Captain Cullen. I've never seen you before." He smiled." I would remember."

_Knight-Captain? That sounded important._ _Good job Allison!_

Allison risked a glance at Varric only to find the dwarf frozen with a look of dismay on his face. She was on her own.

"It's my first time here. I'm new here…I mean new to Kirkwall." she replied with forced cheerfulness.

Cullen's look became more focused. "Really? Where are you from?"

Allison was sure that her expression looked completely guilty. "Oh, nowhere you've heard of. I'm here with a friend…I mean _friends_," she corrected hastily. "from Ferelden."

If she had hoped to assuage his curiosity, she failed. He smiled broadly at her and Allison wondered why he was suddenly so happy.

"Ferelden? I'm from Ferelden as well." Cullen's posture relaxed whereas Allison's tensed.

_Oh great! Now he'll want to talk, and I don't know anything more about these places than Anders has told me. Time to make excuses and get out of here._

Allison smacked Varric playfully on the back which seemed to bring him out of his stupor.

"It was nice to meet you Knight-Captain but my friend and I have to go." She said, moving away, pulling Varric with her.

Cullen stepped in front of her and Allison was afraid that he was going to detain her. Maybe he had worked out that she was hiding something?

"Wait." The Knight-Captain opened his mouth to speak but he acted as if he didn't know what to say. "Um…where do you live?"

Allison was guarded in her reply. "Why do you want to know?"

To her surprise Cullen blushed. She heard Varric mutter something under his breath but she couldn't quite catch it.

"I…I just wondered." Cullen stammered. "Many Fereldens are homeless. I wanted to make sure that you're alright."

"No need to worry. I have a place to stay." She tried to move on again but Cullen stayed in place.

"Where?" He seemed to realize that he sounded pushy so he took a step back. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. May I accompany you home?" he offered.

"No!" Allison screeched. _Why did he want to take her home? Why was he looking at her like that?_

Cullen looked perplexed and she scrambled for a good reason to dissuade him.

She smiled. "Thank you for the offer, but I live near the refugees and it's far away. Besides I have Varric and **he** has a crossbow."

Varric patted Bianca to make the point.

Cullen bowed and then bent to pick something up off the ground. It was the herbs she had gotten for Anders.

Cullen examined the pouch, and when he looked at her again his expression was suspicious. He balanced the pouch on the palm of his hand like he was weighing it.

"You dropped this. Is someone ill?" It was a loaded question.

Allison was fed up and her utmost concern was to protect Anders. She wasn't used to lying but then again, she wasn't used to travelling to alternate universes either. It was time to adapt.

She arranged her face into a calm mask. "I get headaches and an old refugee woman knows how to make a tea that helps."

She looked Cullen right in the eye and didn't waver.

He narrowed his eyes, and his fingers clenched around the package just a bit before he reached out and dropped the pouch in her hand and moved to the side.

"I hope you return to health Milady. Perhaps I will see you again." The Knight-Captain bowed again and walked away.

Allison and Varric made their way quickly to the dock, and didn't relax until they were halfway across the channel.

Varric scrubbed his face with his hands. "Well Denim, you sure know how to keep a low profile."

Allison glared at him. "What about _you_? You just stood there looking like you could wet yourself!"

Varric glowered. "I was thinking of contingency plans in case you got yourself arrested!"

Allison scoffed. "Oh? And what was the plan? To hope that if you stood _very, very_ still they wouldn't **see** you!"

Varric harrumphed. "Apparently we didn't need a plan. All you had to do was blink your pretty eyes at the Knight-Captain and he turned into a puddle of warm porridge. "

Varric's grin was sardonic. "I have to admit, you _do_ know how to make a day more interesting. I wonder what Blondie's going to think when he finds out the Knight-Captain of the Templars is smitten with you?"

Allison's mouth fell open. "He's _what_!"

***Please review!***


	8. Chapter 8 Realization

***So, I'm hoping that things get moving now that Allison has seen other parts of Kirkwall. Adventures will be starting soon and I'm trying to develop her character more. Isabela will become more prominent, yay! **

**This is a shorter chapter to deal with the events in the last one.***

(Chapter rated M for safety)

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 8 – Realization

"You _what_!" Anders bellowed, his gold- brown eyes were blazing with anger directed right at Allison.

He advanced on her and stood glaring down at her. "Are you insane? What the hell were you thinking?" Anders' voice echoed loudly in the mostly empty room.

Varric stood against the wall with his ankles crossed, looking casual. Allison wanted to argue with Anders but even she had to admit that her foray to the Gallows could've ended badly.

Allison tried not to flinch as he furiously berated both her and Varric.

"What in Thedas possessed you to think that going to the bloody Gallows would be a good idea? And _**you**_!" he cried, pointing at Varric. "How could you let her do something so stupid?"

He looked back and forth at the two of them. "Are you _trying_ to get me killed?" he asked aghast.

Varric pushed away from the wall. "Now, now Blondie, calm down. No harm was done and Allison needed some answers."

Anders spoke with gritted teeth. "And what exactly did she need answers to? The fastest way to get _hung_?"

Varric raised an eyebrow and looked at Allison. Anders turned to her as well.

Allison shifted, trying to think of the right words to make everything alright.

"When we were in Hightown, I touched a rune stone and something weird happened." she said quietly.

Anders looked baffled and frustrated. "What? What happened that made you do something so bloody reckless!"

He was still in her face and Allison didn't like it.

"Back off and I'll tell you!" She barely restrained herself from pushing hum away.

Anders leveled a dark look at her that promised if he didn't like what she said, she'd regret it. But, he took a few steps back, crossing his arms over his chest.

Allison ran a nervous hand through her hair. "We met a dwarf named Worthy and I was looking at the rune stones. When I touched one, I felt strange. There was an odd buzzing in my head. The stone vibrated a bit and…I heard music." She glanced up to see Anders' reaction.

He had gone from red to pale in an instant and his expression was one of confounded dismay. He dropped his arms.

"You heard music? What do you mean?" he asked warily.

Allison felt her eyes watering, but she did that when she got mad. To make up for it she scowled at Anders.

"If you had bothered to listen when we came back you'd know the whole story already!" she snapped.

Anders seemed to make a great effort to collect himself. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, a habit Allison had noticed he had when he was agitated.

"Alright. I'm listening _now_. Continue." he said with forced composure. It was not easy considering that Justice was _livid_. The spirit believed that Allison had betrayed them and Anders was having a difficult time controlling him.

Allison could tell that Anders patience was thin so she spoke quickly.

"I've been around you when you used magic so I knew it wasn't magic making me feel that way. Worthy and Varric explained that rune stones were made with lyrium and I thought that was what was affecting me. I decided to try out my theory when Varric told me that Templars use lyrium." She watched Anders carefully.

He didn't say anything for a long time. He didn't even move until he finally pinched the bridge of his nose. She saw a vein in his head throb and the muscles in his neck were tense.

Allison bit her lip and started counting to ten, but Varric seemed unconcerned.

"And what," Anders said slowly. "did you hope to accomplish by going to see the Templars?"

Allison sighed. "I didn't go to _see_ the Templars. I just wanted to be around them to see if the lyrium in them did anything to me."

Anders watched her with tight eyes. "And did it?" The words were strained.

"No." Allison replied, feeling foolish. She took a small step towards him. "I'm sorry Anders. It was just so strange and confusing. I thought that I was going to be sick and then there was the music. I just wanted to understand what was going on."

Allison wanted to touch him but she was sure that he didn't desire her touch at that moment. His stance was rigid and his eyes followed her like he waiting for her to attack him. Some of that bluish light she had seen before was emanating from his hands.

Varric spoke up. "Anders, you should have seen her. She went toe to toe with a Templar and her only thought was to protect you."

Anders suddenly looked unsure. His face took on a less apprehensive look.

"You _spoke_ to a Templar? What happened?" he asked cautiously.

Allison wasn't quite sure how to spin her encounter with Knight-Captain Cullen.

She hesitated long enough that Anders approached her again, but this time with less anger.

"Allison?" he prompted.

She made a face and Varric started laughing.

"Go on Cupcake, tell the mage what happened." Varric teased.

_I'm going to end up punching a dwarf_, Allison thought nastily.

"Well, after I got _you_ something at a shop," she began, glaring at Anders. "I ran into a Templar."

"Literally." Varric added.

Allison stuck her tongue out at him and went on. "Anyway, the Templar asked me where I was from, and I didn't tell him anything. I only said that I was with some refugee friends from Ferelden. He wanted to accompany me back but I wouldn't let him and when he saw the herbs I had gotten, I told him that an old woman I know uses them to help me with my headaches."

Allison allowed a satisfied expression to settle on her face. She thought she had done pretty well.

Anders look dumbfounded. "The Templar questioned you and then wanted to take you home. But you lied and he fell for it?" he asked with wide eyes.

Allison nodded, looking smug. "Yep."

Varric chuckled. "It was a thing of beauty Blondie. The Knight-Captain didn't have a prayer against those eyes."

Anders practically choked. "The Knight-Captain! You mean _Cullen_? The Templar you spoke to was _Cullen_?"

Allison was surprised by his reaction. "Do you know him Anders?"

Anders briefly considered banging his head against the wall. "Yes, I know him! He was at the Circle in Ferelden where I escaped."

Allison was horrified. "Oh no. Anders I didn't know, I'm so sorry!" She did go to him then, taking his hand. "Don't worry. He didn't suspect anything. He won't come here."

Anders surprised her again by smiling. "I'm not worried about Cullen. He knows that I'm in Kirkwall, but he hasn't made a move because of the Gray Wardens. Being from Ferelden, he has more respect for the Wardens than others here."

Allison sagged in relief. "Whew! Thank goodness. See, everything's fine." She smiled back at him seeing that he was mollified.

Varric raised a hand. "Uh, not to interrupt this warm moment, but I'm not so sure that the Knight-Captain won't be showing up here."

Anders looked baffled. "Why do you think that?"

Allison wanted to tell Varric to keep his preposterous ideas to himself, but the dwarf read her mind and grinned delightedly.

Remaining casual, Varric stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure that Cullen was taken with our little visitor. It's why he wanted to escort her home."

Anders looked back at Allison and his expression was accusatory. "Is that true?"

Allison found his attitude irritating. "_No_, it's not true. And why are you looking at me like that? I didn't do anything wrong."

Anders rolled his eyes. If Varric believed the Templar was interested, he was.

"You didn't have to do anything. Look at you!" he said waving his hands in Allison's direction.

Allison was insulted. "Hey! What the hell does _that_ mean?" she fired back.

Anders had the nerve to look her up and down, and Allison contemplated slapping a mage _and_ a dwarf.

"It means that you can't walk around like that and not expect to attract attention." he snarled.

Allison put her hands on her hips. "Oh, _I'm_ _sorry_. I didn't think to grab the appropriate attire before I was sucked into another freaking dimension!"

Anders stepped close to her and bent down to her eye-level. "It's not just the pants. It's what's _in_ them. It's everything; your hair, your eyes, the way you _smile_ at people, all melty and sweet. Of course he was going to look!"

Allison gaped at him and Anders realized what he had just said and how ridiculous it sounded. He also knew that he had inadvertently told her that _he_ had been looking himself.

Allison felt the anger leave her and she could only stand there bemused.

Varric chuckled and walked towards the exit. "I think I'll leave you two alone. See you later." The door shut behind him leaving Allison and Anders staring at each other.

Anders was still standing close to her and he was breathing hard. Allison licked her lips nervously and she saw the mages's eyes follow the movement of her tongue. She tried to clear her throat but the sound got stuck.

Anders told himself to step away from her but he couldn't. His feet were planted on the spot and he could feel the warmth of Allison's body through his robes. She was so _close_; her face tilted up, their faces almost touching. If he reached out, she would be in his arms.

What harm would it do if he just _touched_ her? He hadn't enjoyed the feel of a woman's skin in _so_ long. The only women he was in contact with were his patients and Isabela. Would it be so wrong just to _touch? _

Anders remembered another time, in a life long ago, when all he had wanted was a pretty girl to kiss. _There she was._

Allison watched Anders struggle with some sort of inner decision. He looked like he wanted to kiss her but maybe she was reading him wrong. She didn't have guys falling all over her so it wasn't as if she had a lot of experience to go on. Still…his eyes had turned to liquid amber and it was making her stomach jump. She wanted to close that tiny space between them but she was too scared of being rejected.

"Anders?" she whispered.

"Yes?" he replied just as softly.

"Are we done fighting?" she asked with a small smile.

His gentle laugh brushed over her skin. "Yes, we're done fighting."

Allison hesitated and then gave him an opening. "Now what?"

Anders lifted a hand and ran it through Allison's dark hair. It was silky and a loose curl wrapped around his finger. Her stormy eyes were steady on his, and he could feel the tension in her body.

He moved his hand from her hair to the back of her head and lifted the other hand to her chin. He moved a fraction of an inch closer until he could feel her breath against his lips, giving her time to pull away. She didn't.

_It's just one touch. It means nothing. _

Anders captured her mouth with his own, and the sensation rocked him to his core. He felt Allison stiffen in surprise but then her hands grabbed a hold of his robe and she rose up on her tiptoes to get closer.

_It's harmless fun._

He shifted and held her face between both of his hands, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he kissed her thoroughly. She tasted rich, like heat and wine. Anders heard a muffled groan escape him. He wanted to…

_It was too much!_

Anders pulled away from her and took a few shaky steps back. Allison's lips were parted in surprise and her eyes were dazed. He wanted to grab her again, so he didn't. Instead he ruthlessly tamped down his desire.

He had gotten more than he bargained for. There was nothing harmless about that kiss. Anders could still feel her mouth on his lips and his heart was beating too fast.

Allison made as if to move towards him but Anders staggered backwards.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He looked around frantically and decided he needed to get away from her. "I have to go."

Allison watched in hurt shock as Anders took off for the door and left.

She couldn't believe it! The man had just kissed the breath out of her and then he ran away! _Was it that bad?_

It hadn't been for her. Allison didn't think she'd ever forget that kiss. The second his lips had touched hers her body had gone up in flames. She didn't know a kiss could do that. She felt…altered somehow.

And now he was gone.

Allison stared at the door for a few stunned minutes before stumbling to the bedroom. She took her shoes off and curled up on the lumpy mattress, resting her head on her arms. She felt, exposed and vulnerable and she didn't like it one bit!

_How could he? And why?_

Allison curled into herself on the bed and tried not to feel wretched and ugly. She'd be damned if she let some bedraggled mage from a prehistoric fantasy world make her feel like a piece of trash! Allison comforted herself with anger instead of letting the hurt through, and she fell asleep with thoughts of kicking Anders' ass floating in her head.

It was close to midnight when Anders finally returned home. He prayed that Allison had gone to sleep because he was in no condition to face her after he had muddled everything.

He stepped cautiously into the bedroom doorway and saw Allison curled up in a tight ball on the bed. One of her hands was closed in a fist and there was a frown on her face even in sleep.

_Great, she's dreaming about being mad at me._

What did he expect really? How was she supposed to feel when he had bolted out the door after sharing a kiss that had seared itself in his memory for all time?

Anders knew that he had hurt her, insulted her, but there was no other choice. He had thought that they could share a laugh, a little fun, but it wasn't true. Even though they had just met, Anders already cared for Allison, but he hadn't put much stock in that because as a healer, he had a natural disposition to care for others.

What he felt now went beyond that basic interest. Somehow, between her arrival, their sharing a meal together, meeting his friends and their argument about the events of the day, Anders had come to have more than a passing interest in Allison.

_What do I do now?_

The answer was swift in coming.

_**You focus on the cause. Don't allow the woman to distract you.**_ Justice felt it was that simple.

Anders scowled. _And how exactly do I do that when she's living here?_

_**You get her back to her world as soon as possible.**_

Anders took another look at the sleeping woman.

Justice was right, it wasn't meant to be. She was from a different realm, and she wasn't supposed to be here. He needed to get her home instead of entertaining thoughts of things that could never be.

Anders laid down and tried very hard not to think about the soft sound of Allison's breathing.

Tomorrow he would do more research on travelling between worlds. There was no time to figure out what her encounter with the rune stones meant. He would get Allison back where she belonged, and he would forget about her.

Anders closed his eyes and the image of Allison's eyes flashing with irritation as she dressed him down made his lips curve. He remembered the heat of her body seeping through his clothes and his hands twitched. Her lips had been lush, like ripened fruit. Her delicate hands had clutched at his robes, and he had wanted to crush her in his arms.

Anders felt heat pool in his loins and a familiar heaviness made him curse the fact that he wasn't alone. He couldn't do anything about it, no matter how much his hands yearned to travel to the ties of his breeches. He would have to suffer through it and take it as a lesson.

_She had to go._

***Reviews are most appreciated***


	9. Chapter 9 Explanations

***I have a few regular reviewers and I'm so grateful to you guys. Your thoughts and ideas are really helpful and it literally makes my day to see reviews come in. Please keep them coming and I hope other readers join in.***

**I'll rate this chapter M just to be safe.**

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 9 – Explanations

Allison awoke with stiff muscles and a surly attitude. She was never much of a morning person anyway but Anders hot and cold act the night before had made things worse than usual.

The bedroom was empty and she was glad. As she looked around the sparse quarters everything seemed to look more depressing and forlorn than before.

Allison trudged to the well to fill the large washing bowl with water to clean her face. The sight of the chamber pot made her want to scream.

_I need to get the hell out of here!_

After taking care of her personal needs in the most archaic way imaginable, Allison squared her shoulders and prepared to face Anders in the humiliating light of day.

He was seated at the table, a piece of crumbly bread in front of him. As Allison entered the room, Anders only acknowledged her presence with a slight nod.

_So that's how it's going to be_, she thought angrily_. Fine!_

"You should eat something." Anders said in a disinterested voice. "While you were sleeping, I went back through some of the books we looked at and I started mapping out places that I think might be sensitive spots where the Fade meets our world. I'll need another day to complete it but we're closer to getting you back where you belong."

His voice was hard, none of the gentleness that Allison had become used to could be detected.

Her resolve to remain unaffected faltered under that flat tone.

_Why is he so distant? Was kissing me really __**that**__ repulsive?_

A thousand doubts flew through her mind, all of them casting her in the role of an undesirable freak. Maybe Anders was ok with treating the sick but not kissing them? Maybe her mistake in going to the Gallows had been the last straw and he was done with her?

Allison tried to gather the cloak of bravado around her like armor. It had served her well in the past when people hurt her, and she could use it now.

Keeping her head high, Allison walked casually over to the table to read over Anders' shoulder. She saw him stiffen when he felt her behind him and she tried to ignore the sick twisting her stomach.

Allison studied the map he had drawn and she had to admit that he was talented. It looked like something you would see in a museum in her world. Anders had used a simple piece of parchment, a quill pen and ink. His script was elegant and his rough outlines of the area showed artistic skill.

"That's a beautiful drawing Anders." she said, keeping her voice level.

He seemed startled by her statement. "It's nothing. I used to draw when I was in solitary confinement in the Circle. At least now it's come in handy." He looked as if he were about to say something and then changed his mind and said something else. "I'll let you know when this is ready and we can start looking for these places."

Allison realized that she had just been dismissed. Her eyes stung but she refused to let it show.

Anders watched Allison paste on a brittle smile and he felt like a callous ass. Her eyes were moist and he almost reached out to her. Justice stayed his hand.

_**It's better this way, **_the spirit assured him.

Anders wished that he could kick Justice but that wasn't possible.

_It's easy for you. You don't have any feelings. You don't care that she's hurt_, Anders argued internally.

There was an odd beat of silence before Justice answered.

_**I am not without all feeling. It is unfortunate that we must act this way but it is for the best. **_

The spirit almost sounded regretful but Anders figured that he must be projecting his own emotions onto Justice.

Allison walked back into the bedroom and picked up her backpack.

Anders raised his eyebrows. "Where are you going?" he asked. There was concern in his voice that he couldn't hide.

Allison gave him a pointed look. "Why do you care? It's obvious that you don't want me here so I'm going to give you a break. I'll see you later."

Anders stood up. "It isn't safe for you to walk around alone."

Allison spun around, her teeth bared. "I'd rather take my chances out there then be stuck in here with someone who kisses me one minute and then treats me like a pariah the next!"

She walked out the door before Anders could respond.

He sat back down, staring after her, before rubbing his hands over his face tiredly.

_I'm sorry._

Allison pulled her pepper spray out of her bag. There was no need to repeat what had happened her first day in Kirkwall.

As she rounded the corner, she almost tripped on a couple of children playing on the walkway.

They looked up at her with dirty faces and tattered clothing. The smell of Darktown hit her nostrils strongly but she kept her face pleasant. The rank odor of feces and unwashed bodies hung heavily in the air. There wasn't really a breeze coming from the sea that day so there was nothing to wash the stench away.

One of the children, a little girl with dark brown hair and cherub cheeks, stared up at Allison. Her brown eyes were wide and much too sad for a child that had to be only five or six.

"Do you have any food?" the girl asked.

The little boy who was with her, shoved the girl, looking angry. He had to be around seven and his features were similar enough that Allison thought them related.

"Shut up Mina! Papa said not to beg. He's gone to work at the Bone Pit so we don't have to beg anymore!" he said with a red face.

Mina shoved him back just as hard and Allison smiled at the little girl's sassiness.

"Don't you hit me Paul or I'll tell mama and she'll whip you good!" Mina threatened.

Apparently children were the same everywhere when it came to tattling.

Their mother must have been formidable because Paul sat back and sulked.

Allison crouched down, getting eye-level with the girl. She started to say that she didn't have anything when she remembered what she had packed in her bag the day she left.

_Duh! How did I forget that? Anders and I could have been munching on these!_

Allison reached in her bag and pulled out a granola and chocolate energy bar. She glanced around, abruptly aware that people in dire straits might fight over something like this.

She crooked her finger, beckoning the children closer.

"I have this, but you can't tell anyone and you have to share, alright?" she whispered.

Mina's eyes were now the size of saucers and Paul's toughness had completely disappeared as he eyed the bar with disbelieving hope.

Allison opened the silver wrapper which Mina found fascinating, and took out the energy bar. She broke it in half and gave one to each child.

They didn't even stop to study it. The siblings inhaled the food making Allison worry that they had barely chewed it.

Instead of feeling good, Allison felt worse. This whole situation was wrong. Why were people allowed to live like this?

Mina tugged on Allison's sleeve, getting chocolate on her clothes.

"Can I have the funny paper?" the girl asked.

Allison realized that Mina meant the wrapper and she handed it over. Mina turned it over, a puzzled expression on her face.

"What's it made of?" she asked.

Allison decided that she didn't want to try and explain it so she settled on something simple.

"It's from far away. Just keep it to yourselves ok?"

Mina nodded and began playing with it.

Paul approached her from the other side, looking worried. "You won't tell our papa that we begged will you?"

The little boy looked so serious and Allison's heart broke. He should be out running in tall grass and building forts with sheets.

Allison put her hand up in a pledge. "I promise, I won't tell anyone."

She got up and brushed her jeans off. She started to walk away but turned back to the children.

"Take care of each other ok?" she said quietly.

They nodded and Paul started chasing Mina while the girl ran around with the wrapper in her hand.

Allison walked carefully around those sleeping on the ground. The oppressive atmosphere seemed to be closing in on her.

She found her way to the lift Anders had used to go above ground. Glancing around, she didn't see Tomwise so she got on the lift and headed up.

It smelled better in Lowtown for sure. It seemed life got more hopeful the higher up you went. If she looked up, Allison could see the cliffs that surrounded Hightown off in the distance. She wondered if any of the rich nobles who occupied that area ever came here. Did they know what was going on or were they too self-satisfied to care?

Feeling annoyed and helpless, Allison made her way along the street until she saw the telltale sign over the Hanged Man.

_I wish my cell phone was charged so I could take a picture of that thing._

Allison pushed the heavy door open and was surprised to see so many people in the tavern. It had to be what? Nine in the morning her time?

Shaking her head, Allison stepped fully inside, leaving the sunlight behind her.

"Hey! Why don't you sit that sweet ass down right here?" a slurred voice called.

Allison looked over her shoulder and saw a man with a grizzly beard leering at her. She was pretty sure that he had enough food stuck in his facial hair to make a meal.

"Not interested." She replied and started walking towards the bar.

Somehow he was not as surprised to see Isabela there. The pirate appeared to be having whiskey for breakfast.

"It's a little early isn't it?" Allison asked.

Isabela downed the rest of her drink and slammed the glass on the counter. "Sweetie, it's never too early for piss poor liquor. Besides, that was mother's milk when I grew up."

Allison balked. "I hope you're kidding." she said warily.

Isabela smirked. "Of course I am. I wasn't raised by street trash."

"I never said you were. I'm new here remember? How do I know what people in Thedas do?" Allison shrugged.

Isabela gave her a look and Allison cut her off. "Don't start! I don't need you to show me what people **do**."

The pirate laughed merrily and gestured for Allison to have a seat.

"So, what brings you here this morning? Why aren't you and the mage polishing his…" Isabela raised her hands when Allison glared at her. "Just kidding! You're so fun to tease. Well?" Isabela waited.

Allison made a point of studying the grain of the table. Her fingers traced the swirls of the wood aimlessly while she tried to think of an answer that wasn't embarrassing.

"Anders needed to be alone for a while." Allison hoped that her tone conveyed that she didn't want to talk about it.

Isabela didn't care. "Oh ho! Did you two have falling out? Varric seemed to think that you were going to get lucky last night when he left."

Allison gasped. "Varric told you what happened? That little…" she fumed.

Isabela grinned cheekily. "It all sounded very romantic and intense. The tall, handsome, tormented mage and the delicate stranger from another world; staring into each other's eyes with lust. Yum!"

Allison made a sound of disgust. "I am _not_ delicate. And nothing happened."

Isabela regarded her silently for a moment before waving to the bartender for more drinks. "Hmmm. Tell me all about it. What did the mean mage do to you?"

A woman carried a bottle and another glass over to the table.

"Um, I don't drink." Allison stated, smelling the liquor in the bottle.

Isabela winked. "Don't worry, I can drink for the both of us. Now, fess up. What happened?"

Allison wasn't used to girl talk but she suddenly wanted another perspective on what had occurred between her and Anders.

Allison folded her hands on the table, casting a dubious glance at Isabela, unable to believe that she was about to spill her guts to this woman.

"Well, in short, Anders kissed me and then he ran away." Allison replied, keeping her eyes down.

Isabela sat up straight and took a hard look at the dark-haired girl sitting next to her. Allison was nibbling on her bottom lip and refused to look at her.

"Come here." Isabela ordered and when Allison raised her head in confusion, Isabela grabbed her and planted a firm kiss on her lips.

Isabela tilted her head as if thinking. "Well, it couldn't have been the kiss that did it. Go on." She concluded and picked up her drink again.

Allison was still reeling from the fact that she had just been kissed by a woman. Katy Perry's song flitted through her mind in a kind of surreal way.

Watching Allison's mouth open and close like a fish made Isabela burst out laughing.

She nudged Allison playfully. "Oh come on. I was just testing the waters to see if Anders ran off because it was awful. It wasn't, so it must have been something else."

Allison blinked slowly. "Thank you…I guess?"

Isabela winked again. "Mmm…you bet."

Allison wanted to laugh so she did. Isabela patted her on the back.

"That's better!" she approved.

"What's so funny?" Varric asked as he joined them at the table.

Allison felt her cheeks warm when she thought about Varric seeing her and Anders together.

Isabela slid the extra glass over to the dwarf, who proceeded to pour himself a drink.

The pirate gestured at Allison. "Our dear healer pulled a disappearing act on our new friend last night."

Varric looked surprised. "Oh? I thought things looked nice and cozy when I left, Denim." He propped his feet on the table and waited.

Allison sighed. "As I told Isabela, everything was fine. He kissed me and it was…" Allison looked down again. "Never mind. Anyway, afterwards he said that he shouldn't have done it and he ran off. When I woke up this morning he was barely civil and he made it _very_ clear that he wants me to leave as soon as possible."

All of the doubt was back again and Allison laid her head on the table. She felt a hand rubbing her back.

"Oh, poor thing!" Isabela cooed. "Varric, do you think Old Blue had anything to do with it?"

Allison looked up to find Varric stroking his chin.

"Could be. He doesn't like for our boy to have any fun that's for sure." Varric chuckled.

Allison was obviously out of the loop. "Who's Old Blue?"

Isabela and Varric shared a meaningful look. Isabela actually looked uncomfortable.

"Ummm…Anders hasn't told you about his _friend_?" the pirate inquired mysteriously.

Allison frowned. "His _friend_? What friend?"

Varric sat up. "Rivaini, hold on. It's not our place to tell that story."

Isabela waved him off. "Oh please! If Anders is going to act like a sodding idiot, then I think Allison has the right to know why." She blew a kiss at Allison. "We wouldn't want her to think it's _her_ fault would we?"

Allison groaned. "Would you guys please just _tell_ me what is going on?"

Varric shook his head but seemed resigned. "Go ahead, since you want to spill the beans so badly."

Isabela's eyes lit up with excitement. "Well! Apparently when Anders was in Amaranthine, he met a spirit of Justice who was trapped outside the Fade. The spirit needed a host and Anders volunteered."

Allison's head was swimming with words she didn't understand. "Wait, wait. Anders met a spirit? What the hell does that mean?" she demanded.

Varric rolled his eyes. "Let me handle this Rivaini." He leaned forward, watching Allison's face carefully. It made her nervous.

"How much has Anders explained to you about the way things work here? About the Fade?" Varric asked.

Allison made a helpless gesture. "I know a little. He told me about mages and the Harrowing; what they face in the Fade."

Varric nodded. "Good, then this won't be such a shock. In the Fade there what humans call spirits. They're not demons, they're the good guys. According to Blondie, spirits embody the virtues of men; virtues like love, fortitude and justice." Varric paused and Allison motioned for him to continue.

"When Anders first became a Grey Warden, there was some kind of accident and a Spirit of Justice from the Fade was trapped in our world. At first he occupied the body of a fallen Warden, but the body was wasting away and the spirit couldn't stay there. They weren't sure what would happen to it when the body finally uh… decomposed so, Anders offered to let Justice live inside him."

Allison was astounded, and more than a little disturbed. She couldn't speak for a full five minutes and Varric and Isabela seemed to understand. They sat quietly while she digested everything that Varric had told her.

Allison rubbed her eyes and tried to remember that she was far from home.

"Ok. You're telling me that _Anders_, the man that I'm currently staying with, has a…spirit living inside of him, sharing his body? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Isabela chimed in. "That's right Sweet Cheeks. And when Justice comes out to play our boy turns all blue and bright."

Allison knew that she must look silly but she couldn't help it when her mouth fell open. She had seen that strange blue light crackle across Anders' skin!

Varric gave her a considering look. "Methinks that you've seen Anders' passenger before."

Allison just nodded mutely.

Isabela looked curious. "When did you see him?"

Allison thought back to the most recent time. "We were talking about what you all do for work and I was bothered when Anders said that he kills people for money. That's not how things work where I come from and I thought that it wasn't justice…" her voice trailed off as she replayed the conversation. _Justice._

Isabela nodded sagely. "Ah yes, that'll do it. There are a few things guaranteed to bring the Old Bore out: talking about the Chantry, talking about the Templars, talking about the Circle and of course mentioning his name." Isabela counted on her fingers.

Allison struggled to stay calm but finding out that she had been in the presence of some weird spirit from a dream realm was disconcerting.

"So, when I saw that blue light coming from Anders and his voice got kind of odd; that was Justice?" she asked, mortified to hear her voice crack a little.

Varric and Isabela nodded.

Allison cupped her hand around her throat reflexively. "Is that what happens when Anders gets angry? He goes all Hulk on people?"

When the others just looked at her mystified, Allison rolled her eyes.

"It's a fictional character where I come from. He's a regular guy until he gets mad and then he turns into a monster that destroys everything. "Hulk smash" and all that. Oh forget it!" she snapped at their blank expressions. "My point is; would Anders have hurt me?"

Her companions shared another look which made her less afraid and more pissed off.

"Just tell me!" she cried. A few patrons glanced over at the commotion and then went back to drinking.

Varric looked alarmed. "Shhh! Anders doesn't need the Chantry getting wind that he's carrying extra baggage. They already want him brought in for escaping the Circle in Ferelden. If they found out about Justice he'd be hanged as an abomination."

Allison wanted to pull out her hair in frustration. She needed a damn dictionary! "A what?"

"An abomination is what happens when a mage is taken over by a demon. It's a bad thing." Varric answered.

Allison took a couple of deep breaths. This conversation was not what she expected when she came in.

"You say that like Anders having a spirit in him is different." she replied.

Isabela winced. "Um yes, we really should make that clear so Anders or Justice doesn't set you on fire. They are different. Just remember: spirits are good, demons are bad. A spirit joining with a person doesn't make an abomination because they are forces of good."

Allison sat back exhausted. "If Justice is good then why does he only show up when Anders gets upset? I thought he was going to throttle me before."

Varric allowed that. "According to Anders, when Justice melded with him, he took on Anders' anger about the plight of mages. It warped the spirit somehow, and he's not _exactly_ like he used to be in the Fade."

Allison assumed an air of nonchalance. "_Oh_, I see. The spirit living inside of Anders hates me and might kill me if I push him. Do I have that right?"

Isabela snorted. "Basically."

Varric held a hand up. "Not really. Anders tried to keep a short leash on his friend. Sometimes he gets away from him but you're not in any danger if you don't bring the Templars to his door."

Allison remembered why the subject of Justice had come up in the first place.

"Why did you guys think that Justice had something to do with why Anders is acting like I have the plague?"

Isabela took this one. "This is the delicious part. Ever since Anders and Justice got together, Justice has been making sure that Anders stays focused on helping mages. No distractions. That means no drink, no parties…**no** _sex_." Isabela waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Allison felt uncomfortable talking about Anders and sex. Probably because she _wanted_ to think about it.

She looked disapprovingly at Isabela. "There's nothing wrong with being intent on your work. Sex isn't the most important thing in the world."

Isabela had been taking a swig of whiskey when she said that and she almost choked on it.

"Ha! Only people who've never had good sex say that." Isabela eyed Allison critically. "Have _you_ ever had really good sex Allison? I mean, toe-curling, back-clawing, screaming- loud- enough- to wake the dead sex?"

Allison sputtered indignantly. "That's none of your business!"

Varric laughed. "I'm thinking that means no."

Allison glared at him. "Have _you_ had sex with anyone besides Bianca?" she asked.

Varric petted his crossbow. "Don't listen to her Baby." he murmured.

Isabela clucked her tongue. "Oh Sweetie, we have to get you to the Blooming Rose."

Allison folded her arms defensively. "I'm not naïve, it just wasn't all it was cracked up to be." she muttered.

Isabela suddenly looked dreamy. "It's a shame that Anders isn't game. That boy could teach you some things. He's very clever."

The woman's words hinted at personal knowledge and Allison found herself feeling upset at the thought of Anders being intimate with the pirate. Of course Isabela was absolutely stunning. Her body was out of this world and her own and when you spent time with her Isabela showed a rare wit and vivacity. Why wouldn't Anders want her?

_Why didn't Anders want you?_ Her inner voice mocked.

Isabela had obviously read Allison's face and she grinned widely. "Don't worry Pet. I never _mastered_ his taint."

Allison was sure that was some kind of sick sexual reference so she ignored it except for gleaning that Isabela and Anders had never slept together. It shouldn't matter to her anyway. She barely knew the man.

"So, your point is that you believe Justice put a stop to things with Anders yesterday?" Allison concluded.

Isabela checked how much alcohol was left in the bottle. "Yep. He's kept Ander celibate for years. Personally I think it would good for Justice to get a good boink."

Finding that the bottle was empty gave Isabela an idea. Allison saw the glint in the woman's eye and felt her stomach flop.

"Let's go to the Rose!" Isabela cried, grabbing Allison's hand and yanking her to her feet.

Varric groaned. "Stone protect us. Rivaini are you crazy? Anders wouldn't want you taking her there."

His comment brought out the childish part of Allison. "Why not? It's none of his business what I do. Besides, I won't be here for very long, I should look around. What is the Rose?"

Isabela put an arm around her shoulders. "It's a place of decadent delights and it has something for all tastes."

Varric grunted. "It's a brothel Denim. You don't want to go there."

Isabela pounced on her weakness. "Well, you could back to the clinic and let Anders ignore you. _Or_ you could come and have fun with me." At Allison's look of horror Isabela quickly added. "I'm not taking you there for you to…partake. You can just look."

Allison grimaced. Even in her own world she would never go to a place like that. She started to say no when Isabela interrupted. The pirate pouted in the most pathetic way Allison had ever seen.

"Please! We'll have a meal, on me, and we'll just look and laugh. What's the harm in that?" Isabela pleaded.

Varric threw his arms up. "Oh yes, what could _possibly_ go wrong?"

Allison thought about it. "So it's a restaurant too?" she asked. That seemed unlikely. Of course this place was backwards. Maybe brothels were different here too.

Isabela started pulling her towards the door. "It's a place for entertainment." She tried one more tactic. "Don't you want to do something crazy just once in your life?"

It was crazy, but Allison had to admit that being with Isabela was kind of fun. And besides what harm could it do to just have lunch and look around?

Isabela smelled victory and without waiting for Allison to agree, she pulled her out of the tavern.

Varric stayed where he was and shuddered at the possible trouble Isabela could get Allison into.

"Blondie is gonna kill me Bianca."

***Please review!***


	10. Chapter 10 Proposition

***Allison's advice about epilepsy comes from the Mayo Clinic website.**

***Please, please review!***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 10 – Proposition

The Blooming Rose was actually the nicest place Allison had seen in Kirkwall. She didn't know if that spoke well of the brothel or badly of the city. She had a feeling it was the latter.

As they walked through the entryway, Allison noticed that many of the people were dressed in scantily clad outfits and there were more elves here than most places.

"Why are there so many elves here?" she whispered.

Isabela rolled her eyes. "You don't have to whisper Dear. They _know_ that they're elves and they _know_ that they're prostitutes. And to answer your question, The Blooming Rose is one of the few places that will hire elves."

Allison stopped. "Wait. So, elves aren't good enough to mingle with humans but it's absolutely ok for people to pay to _sleep_ with them?"

Isabela shrugged but her expression wasn't as carefree. "It's life. At least the elves that work here can afford to buy food. And it's not just elves that work here." Isabela waved a hand around the room.

Allison noticed that there humans and dwarves alike, all wearing the same attire. It must be the way to tell who was an employee.

Isabela chose a table in the corner and sat with her back to the wall. Allison sat close to her, not bothering to pretend that she was fine being there. _Maybe this hadn't been the best idea._

An image of Anders' cold face from that morning flashed before her though and she decided to look at it as an anthropological study.

The walls of the Rose were made out of smooth, gray stone, not wood like the places in Darktown and Lowtown. There were two giant sculptures of birds in bronze over the doorway that they had come through. _Odd choice, but what do I know?_

The tables were long and the chairs were deep and cushioned. Physically, this was most comfortable Allison had been since she arrived. Definitely not what she had expected for a house of ill repute.

An elven woman approached the table to take their order. "Hello Isabela. What will you and your friend have?"

The look Allison gave Isabela plainly said, 'How often do you come here?' and Isabela grinned at her.

"Hello Ada. Well, let's see. My friend has been living in Darktown for a few days which means that she's been eating dirt. Let's have a nice stew and a bottle of wine."

Allison frowned and Isabela quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong Sweetie?"

Allison thought it was funny that when Isabela wasn't flirting with her, the endearments she used felt rather natural.

"I feel bad having a nice meal like this when Anders barely has bread." The guilt was quite thick despite the mage's earlier behavior. "There's no take-out here so I can't bring anything back home for him."

Isabela pursed her lips. "We'll see what we can do ok?"

Allison smiled gratefully. "Thanks." She scrutinized the pirate for a moment. "Why are you being so nice anyway?" she asked.

Ada brought the wine and two glasses. Isabela poured some for herself.

"I don't know exactly to be honest. I like you. Isn't that enough of a reason?" she replied lightly.

Allison considered that briefly. "I guess so. I like you too, and I can't quite figure out why myself." She laughed and Isabela joined her.

"Maybe it's because I haven't had a woman around in a long time. When I was _Captain_ Isabela, my crew was made up of men. When I came to Kirkwall I fell in with Varric and Anders. It's surprisingly nice to be around another female." Isabela commented.

Allison's curiosity was kindled. "Are there not many women pirates in Thedas?"

Isabela snorted. "Not remotely. They're too busy letting men take their money and leave bairns in their bellies."

Allison leaned her arm on the table and rested her chin on her hand. "Does that life not interest you? Getting married? Having children?"

Isabela looked horrified. "Darling, I've _been_ married and I can tell you that it's overrated."

Allison was getting used to her mouth falling open. "You were _married_! When? Where's your husband?" she screeched.

For the first time since Allison had met Isabela, the woman's face tightened with stress and her normally lively eyes darkened. She took a long drink before responding.

"The bastard is dead. He was the first captain of my ship, The Siren's Call. A very good friend of mine killed him and I inherited the ship." She took another drink.

Allison was silent for a moment before broaching the subject. "Was he…mean to you? Did he hurt you?" she asked quietly.

At first it seemed that Isabela wasn't going to answer her. The pirate flinched slightly and Allison started to withdraw her question.

"He got me where I wanted to go, which was away from home. He asked a price and I paid it… repeatedly. The world is a better place with him gone." She said bitterly.

A gut instinct told Allison that Isabela would be disgusted with sympathy so she offered none. She opted for honesty instead.

"I bet you would've gotten rid of him on your own if your friend hadn't. You seem quite capable of taking care of yourself." Allison eyes the swords on Isabela's back meaningfully.

Isabela had been holding her breathe, waiting for the requisite pity to spout from Allison's mouth. She was grateful that the young woman hadn't insulted her with platitudes.

She contemplated the girl sitting next to her. Allison was young but she wasn't stupid. And she was feisty which Isabela appreciated. Despite her words, Isabela knew that Allison felt sorrow over her past. That meant that she had heart too, and Isabela respected that as a quality that she lacked.

Allison squirmed a little under Isabela's steady gaze. She could tell that the pirate was mulling over something about her.

"What?" Allison's voice was a little exasperated.

Isabela smiled gently. "It's nothing Pet. Just enjoy your food."

Ada placed two bowls off hot stew in front of them and Allison's mouth watered.

She had to force herself not to wolf down her food like a barbarian and it was all she could o not to lick the empty bowl.

Isabela's eyes were wide. "Maker! You eat like a Warden!"

At the mention of Wardens, Allison's conscience pricked her again. Isabela read her thoughts.

"Don't worry. We'll pick up something for the idiot."

Allison noticed someone odd lurking in the corner of the main room. It was a woman wearing a long scarf wrapped around her head, covering part of her face. She seemed nervous and more out of place than Allison herself.

Allison nudged Isabela and leaned close to speak.

"Is it just me or is there something off about that woman over there." She pointed without drawing attention.

Isabela was good at being covert so she was able to find the woman without being obvious.

"Ooh! You've got that right. She's so edgy she's making the customers nervous. Madame Lusine is starting to notice. She'll make her leave."

Almost on cue, a woman wearing a fancy dress approached the stranger. They spoke briefly; the Madame gesturing and the woman shaking her head. Her eyes darted around and Allison thought that she looked like she was about to cry.

Allison didn't think, she just got up and walked over to the distraught woman. She heard Isabela hiss a warning behind her.

Sure enough, as she got closer, Allison saw that the woman was indeed crying. The Madame was telling her to get out and Allison caught a broken reply about the woman's husband and something about warts.

_Warts?_

"Um…hi. Can I help?" Allison felt foolish but the woman was so distressed.

Madame Lusine turned to her, her cheeks red with anger.

"You can help by minding your own business. I don't need a fishwife coming in here scaring away my customers!" she said in a hard voice.

The woman grabbed Allison's arm. "Please! I need to know if my husband is here yet. It's important. I _must_ know!" her voice rose at the end and Allison hurried to calm her before the owner kicked her out.

"Why don't you come and sit down with me and tell me what's going on?" Allison took the woman and forcibly pulled her to the table.

Lusine muttered something under her breath but let them go.

Isabela watched the whole thing and shook her head. She had been around long enough to know why the woman was here. The last thing she wanted was to get involved in some ridiculous domestic situation. The woman was finely dressed and Isabela was sure that her noble husband had been slumming.

Allison pulled out a chair and gestured for the woman to sit down. Isabela ignored them both and poured another glass of wine.

Realizing that Isabela wasn't interested, Allison smiled nervously.

"So…what's your name?"

The woman wiped her face with her scarf. "My name is Marjorie. Thank you for helping me. That blasted harlot would have thrown me out on the street and then what would I do?"

Isabela continued to drink.

Allison threw her a look but addressed Marjorie. "Why are you looking for your husband here?"

Marjorie flushed and her already blotchy skin turned deep red. "That son of a bitch gave me warts! I'm sure that he's been visiting this…this den of iniquity and I mean to confront him."

Isabela's response was to snicker. "And exactly _how_ were you going to that?" she asked snidely. "If _we_ could pick you out of the crowd, your husband certainly can."

Marjorie stiffened and raised her chin imperiously. For some reason her attitude made Allison feel a little less sorry for her. She was looking at Isabela like she was trash and Allison didn't like it.

"I had a plan. He leaves the house every week around this time. I was going to pay the little whore that normally _services_ him and take her place. When he came in I was going to catch him and demand that he explain himself." Marjorie looked very satisfied with herself.

Allison saw Isabela's expression shift and she had a feeling that she wasn't going to like the next words out of Isabela's mouth.

The pirate made a worried face. "That could be a problem for you."

Marjorie fidgeted. "How so?"

Isabela tapped her chin as if in deep thought. "If you were recognized going into one the chambers, just think of the _scandal_!" She examined Marjorie's attire. "You're from Hightown, yes? And your husband is from Orlais?"

Allison had no idea how Isabela had figured that out but Marjorie sputtered and glanced around the room with anxious eyes. She arranged her scarf more carefully about her face.

"How did you know that?" the woman rasped.

Isabela made a vague gesture. "It doesn't matter. If someone like _me_," Isabela winked at Allison. "Could ascertain that, just think how fast your neighbors will find out you being here."

Allison was quite proud of herself for not giggling. Isabela knew _precisely_ what the woman thought of her.

_Good for you!_

Marjorie's shoulders hunched in defeat. "What can I do?"

Isabela pretended to think about it. "_We_ could do it for you."

Allison almost fell out of her chair at that offer.

"**What!**" she began, but Isabela kicked her under the table, hard. "Ouch!"

Marjorie was listening. "You?"

Isabela nodded. "We could rent a room and have Lusine tell your husband to meet the girl in there. Of course, renting a room would cost more…"

Allison could almost see the trap spring.

Marjorie looked smug. "That's not a problem, I have the coin. Do it!"

Allison was surprised that the woman didn't seem to understand that she should be more polite and less bitchy.

Isabela smiled and if Allison hadn't known better she would have thought she was being solicitous.

"I'll go and speak to Lusine. We wouldn't want you talking to more people here then you have to. What's your husband's name?" Isabela asked nicely.

"Geralt." Marjorie replied, looking around again.

"Wonderful! Allison, come along will you?"

Allison quickly pushed her chair back and rushed after Isabela.

"What are you doing? You can't be serious about this!" she murmured urgently.

"What I'm _doing_ is making us some money. Watch how this works Precious." Isabela sauntered up to Madame Lusine. "Lusine, that woman that was causing you trouble has a proposition and I need a room."

The Madame glanced over at their table and scowled. "What's my cut and what's the deal?"

Lusine didn't mess around.

Isabela smirked. "You charge triple the going rate. We keep a third and the rest belongs to you and the husband's regular girl. Fair?"

Lusine chuckled darkly. "The wife's trying to bust her man is she? Why should I help; I don't want to lose a regular customer."

Isabela practically beamed. "That's the beauty of it. You still have that passageway out the back right? We'll warn him and he can duck out."

"Done." Lusine agreed. "Tell her it's six sovereigns."

Isabela grinned and took hold of Allison's elbow. "Just think what you and Anders can eat tonight!"

Allison felt sick. "So, we're going to trick this woman, take her money and then help her cheating husband get away? I can't do this Isabela." Allison tried dragging her feet but the pirate was very strong and _very_ stubborn.

"Oh c'mon, grow a pair! Can you imagine living with Lady Thumb Up Her Ass? Besides, he's already got warts. He's paying for it now. This way, the regular girl doesn't have to sleep with him and Her Ladyship gets taken down a peg." Isabela reasoned.

"But it's dishonest Isabela. I don't lie…generally speaking." Allison disagreed. The table was getting closer by the second.

"That's exactly why you need to do this. I can tell that you've been sheltered. I bet you've never even flashed your bosom before." Isabela retorted.

"Why in the hell would I want to do that?" Allison hissed.

"Exactly! You need to live a little."

Allison couldn't say anything because they had reached Marjorie.

"Well?" the woman demanded.

Isabela put her hands on her ample hips. "It'll be six sovereigns."

Marjorie gaped. "Six! You little slut. You expect me to believe that?"

Allison lost her reticence at the woman's insult. She stepped free of Isabela.

"Perhaps you're more of an expert on the price at brothels than you seem. Maybe you've been here before and we shouldn't worry about your reputation?" Allison challenged.

Marjorie went pale and then red again. "I have never… how dare you!"

Isabela shrugged and turned to leave. "I guess you don't need our help. Geralt should be here any minute…"

"Wait!" Marjorie cried and then lowered her voice again. "Here take the blasted money. I don't care just take care of my husband!"

Isabela palmed the coins and bowed slightly. "What shall we tell Geralt when we see him?"

Marjorie gathered her things and stood haughtily. "Tell him to cease this abasing behavior at once. And tell him that I want that ring Jean Luc brought back from Antiva. He knows which one I mean."

With that Marjorie covered her face and hurried out.

Isabela squeezed Allison. "Good job, Precious! I've never been more proud."

Allison grimaced. "That doesn't say much."

Isabela laughed and they returned to Lusine to get the room, telling her to expect Geralt.

Upstairs, Allison made a point of not touching anything in the "special" quarters. While everything was made up and neat, she could only guess at the bodily fluids that had been left behind in this age of no hot water or bleach.

"Relax. You look terrified." Isabela teased while lounging on the bed.

"I _am_ terrified. I know you've never heard of microbes, but it's making my skin crawl just being in here." Allison complained.

Isabela stretched out. "Just imagine Anders' face when you show up with some real food. Even though you should make him work for it after he was such an ass."

Allison slanted a look at her. "I can only imagine what you mean by _work for it_."

Isabela chuckled. "I'll _bet_ you can."

The door opened and a tall, lanky man with a pointy beard, wearing a suit that looked like it was made of silk walked in. He started immediately and the bouquet of flowers he was holding dropped to the floor.

"Where…where's Charlaine?" he asked as his Adam's apple bobbed nervously.

Isabela sat up slowly and it the man's eyes popped out a bit at the display. Isabela wasn't even trying and Allison had a brief wish that she could make men look at her like that. Well, maybe one man in particular.

_Stop it! You don't care, you're going home remember?_

"Charlaine's not coming tonight Geralt." Isabela laughed. "Of course that's assuming that she ever _came_ at all."

"Oh my god…" Allison muttered.

Geralt blinked in confusion. "What? What are you talking about? Where is she? Is she alright?"

Allison paid attention to his demeanor. "Do you actually care about Charlaine, Mr…Geralt?" she asked.

He tugged on his colorful suit and picked up the flowers. "I don't see why I should answer you. I don't even know who you are!"

Isabela got up and walked over to sniff the bouquet. "Those are very nice Geralt. Now listen up. You're wife paid us to catch you cheating."

Geralt staggered back into the wall. "Marjorie? She knows about this?"

Isabela folded her arms over her generous chest. How she managed that, Allison had no idea.

"You're not very good at being clandestine." she chided humorously. "Now we have to figure out what to do with you." Isabela tapped her foot on the lush mauve carpet.

Geralt was sweating. "You don't have to tell Marjorie anything. Tell her that I never showed up!"

"Why would we do that?" Isabela asked coyly. Allison had sudden insight where this was going.

Geralt wiped his brow. "I will pay you to keep quiet. How about two sovereigns; one for each of you?" he offered rashly.

Isabela made a show of thinking his offer over but Allison knew that she had planned this from the beginning. The woman was completely unscrupulous and Allison was an accomplice.

Isabela reached out her hand and Geralt dropped two gold coins into it. Isabela smiled and walked over to the far wall sliding a panel open.

"It's a good thing that there's a back door eh?" Isabela said with a smirk.

Geralt flushed and laughed nervously. "Yes, thank you!" he started to step into the passageway when he stopped and turned, handing Isabela the flowers. "Would you make sure that Charlaine gets these?"

Isabela looked surprised but she agreed. "And Geralt? Two things: Marjorie wants that ring from Antiva and you might want to consider alternating your days so the wife doesn't catch you next time."

Allison spoke up quickly. "Oh! And there's a man in Darktown who can probably help you with those um, warts. Just ask around. It would make things better with Marjorie."

The man flushed again, nodded and ducked into the passage. Isabela closed it behind him.

Allison did the unthinkable and sank into a plush chair. She covered her face with her hands.

"I'm a criminal! I just extorted money from two people and I condoned adultery. I'm a terrible person!" she lamented.

"Catch." Isabela called.

Allison looked up just in time to see Isabela toss her a coin and then another. Allison caught the two sovereigns and felt horrible.

Isabela sighed. "Oh Maker! Don't be such a stick in the mud. Things would have gone much worse if we hadn't done something and you made some good coin too. If it makes you feel better you can do penance at the Chantry."

"Maybe I should." Allison grumbled miserably. She wasn't very religious but in this case maybe she should make an exception.

Isabela scoffed at her downcast face. "Did Marjorie seem that upset to you?" she asked patiently.

Allison almost snorted herself. "No. She just wanted a bobble to keep her quiet."

Isabela smiled satisfactorily. "There you have it. No harm done. The rich are still rich, Geralt can still have fun and Marjorie gets her sparkly toy. Think of it like an adventure that you can tell your friends about when you get home." Isabela suggested.

"I don't really have many friends, but I'm going to let it go because there's nothing I can do about it now." Allison acquiesced. "But, you're going to help soothe my conscience. I want to see this Chantry."

Isabela gagged. "What for!"

Allison grinned. "If it makes you that uncomfortable it's worth it. But also because Anders has talked about it and I'm curious."

"Ugh!" Isabela complained.

Allison pulled her along, out of the room and down the stairs. "Come on, no rest for the wicked." she teased.

Isabela stopped to give the Madame her cut and they stepped out into the afternoon light.

Isabela tugged on her corset. "If we're going to the Chantry, I'm glad I've been drinking all day."

They walked down the cobbled street together and Allison enjoyed the sun on her face.

"Are you religious Isabela?" she asked.

"Yes and no. I don't believe in the Maker, though it's fun to use in swears but I do believe that there's more to life than being born, living in misery and dying covered in your own sick." she stated.

Allison wasn't sure how to respond to that. "You have an interesting take on life don't you?"

Isabela just smiled blithely. "I may not have wanted to stay in Rivain but I haven't forgotten what my mother taught me."

"What did she teach you?" Allison asked, urging her on. Finding out Isabela had a spiritual side was surprising and she wanted to know more.

Isabela looked a little discomfited. She wasn't used to talking about such things and no one had asked her before, not even Anders or Varric.

"The Rivaini believe in Nature as an entity. There's no Maker, no Andraste, and no bloody Chantry to scare people into believing sex is wicked." She smiled silkily. "All of those poor little Templars, devoting themselves to the Maker and his Bride. Keeping themselves pure. It's positively _wasteful_." she purred.

Allison ignored part of her comment. "Templars can't get married?"

Isabela's eyes glittered. "Are you interested in a particular Templar? Varric told me about the Knight-Captain."

Allison was actually lost for a second before she realized who Isabela was talking about.

"You mean that Cullen guy? I just _met_ him. Why would I be interested in him?"

Isabela looked ready to scold her. "Time is wasting Dear. Don't you want to try out what Thedas has to offer before you go home?"

"Oh sure. I'd love to go back with an STD. That'd be great." Allison said derisively. Isabela didn't know what STD meant so she elaborated. "I don't want warts. Thanks though."

"Your loss."

Allison wanted to get back to what they were talking about. "Tell me more about Rivain."

Isabela looked up at the light blue sky. The sun was shifting on its way down towards the horizon. It made her yearn for the sea.

"It's just a place. There's water all around it. I used to look out at the sea when I was a child and imagine what was on the other side. My grandmother was a seer among my people; what the bloody Chantry would call a mage." Her face tightened with that statement. "She was well respected. I know that she wished I'd gotten "the gift" as well."

Allison wanted to know more. "What about your mother?"

Isabela laughed though it sounded a little sad. "My mother wanted me to have babies; lots of them. Can you imagine _me_ as a mother?"

Again Allison opted for honesty. "I think that you would protect your child with everything you had although the first thing they said would probably be a curse word."

Isabela chuckled. "I'm sure you're right. But alas, I never had that desire. I just wanted to feel the spray of the ocean on my face. Have you ever been out to sea?"

Allison shook her head. "No. Where I come from people can go on cruises on ships but I never went. It felt too pathetic to go on my own."

Isabela looked baffled. "Why did you spend so much time alone back in your world? From what I've seen, with a little encouragement you're quite a bit of fun."

Allison was surprised at how good Isabela's compliment made her feel. She wasn't known for being the life of the party back home. She preferred to stay at home and read or to go on walks alone.

She shrugged. "My parents were very protective of me because I was sick. They watched every little thing I did because they were worried that I'd fall or have a seizure and they wouldn't be there to help."

Isabela didn't bother being polite. "What's wrong with you?"

Her frank question made Allison laugh. "It's called epilepsy. To keep it simple, there's something wrong with my brain and it makes me have seizures from time to time."

Isabela considered that for a moment. "Can it kill you?"

"If I didn't take medicine and I had a bad enough one, sure. But I have medication and I don't have them as often as I used to." Allison replied.

"But you could have some kind of fit while we're together?" Isabela pressed.

Allison felt her muscles tense. Was Isabela going to be like some of her past so-called friends who got freaked out by her illness? Her expression went blank. It was a defense mechanism when she thought she would need to hide her reactions.

"The word fit is kind of antiquated but yes, it could happen. Does it make you uncomfortable to have me around?" Allison asked dully. Her tone was so different that Isabela looked startled.

"Why would it make me uncomfortable? I'm asking so you can tell me what to do if something happens. Don't be stupid!" Isabela answered irritably.

Allison was relived. "I'm sorry for the attitude but I've had some bad experiences in the past with people when it comes to this."

Isabela stopped and put her hands on her hips. "Do I look like people?" she scoffed.

She had her there. "No, you do not." Allison said with amusement. "And thank goodness for that."

They started walking again.

"To answer your question; there's not a whole lot that you can do here in Thedas. If I have a seizure, roll me onto my side. Don't stick anything in my mouth." She saw Isabela open _hers_ and cut her off. "Shut up Isabela." The pirate cackled merrily.

"As I was saying, you could loosen my collar, but don't try to hold me down, it won't help. Normally some sort of medical help would arrive but there's nothing like that here." she finished.

"There's Anders. He could help." Isabela said.

"No he can't. For some reason my mind repels Anders' magic. He can't heal me or help me when that happens." Allison stated.

Isabela found that interesting. "So, your otherworldly mind isn't affected by Anders' powers. And Varric tells me that you had a reaction to rune stones?"

Allison didn't know where she was going. "Yes, why?"

"Don't you think that's odd? I mean you're still human no matter where you come from. Why can't he heal you and why did the enchantments cause you to hear music? Personally, I'd be curious to know." Isabela replied with interest.

"I don't know that I'll be here long enough for us to figure that out Isabela. Anders is very eager for me to go home and I'm sure he'll figure out how to get me there soon." The thought of Anders' seeming impatience with her made Allison's face fall.

"Don't fret. Everything will work out. And just look at all you've done since you got here. I think you've made up for that boring life already." Isabela said cheerily.

Allison blew out a harsh breath. "Yes, being attacked by thugs, meeting a mage, a dwarf and a pirate, and stealing money from people in a whore house. I've really done my parent's proud."

"Will you tell them about this when you get back?" Isabela asked.

Allison tried not to tense up again. "They're dead, so no."

"Sorry."

"Yea, me too." Allison was glad that Isabela didn't dig into it further.

"So, the short of it is: if you get ill, I'm to roll you over, unbutton your shirt and try my best _not_ to put something in your mouth. Is that right?" Isabela ticked off the items on her fingers and gave Allison a loaded look.

Allison laughed which is what she was sure Isabela had wanted.

They climbed a large set of stairs before coming to a huge set of imposing looking carved doors.

"You wanted to see the Chantry so let's go in." Isabela waved her on.

"This is a _church_?" Allison asked with trepidation. "It doesn't look very friendly."

"Welcome to Thedas." was Isabela's retort.

Isabela pulled the large doors open and the scent of candles wafted to Allison's nose. They really liked their vaulted ceilings in Kirkwall.

There was a hush about the place that seemed to befit a place of worship. Allison saw women in ornate robes huddled in various corners talking.

Isabela leaned close. "Smell that? Smells like repression doesn't it?"

The women overheard her and made faces of disapproval.

Allison moved forward quickly, taking in the architecture. She looked up and…

"Oh…my…God."

There was an immense statue on a dais in front of them. It gleamed like gold but it couldn't be; the cost would have been enormous!

It was obviously a woman and her head was arrayed with spires that looked like the sun. Strangely the deity had a sword. Was she a god of war?

"Who is that?" Allison whispered in awe.

Isabela looked bored. "That is Andraste; Bride of the Maker if you believe in all that."

Allison was flabbergasted. "Why does she have a sword?"

Isabela laughed, gaining a few irate looks from the others around them.

"Andraste was all about Exalted Marches. And what better way to bring people over to your way of thinking than with bloodshed?" Isabela remarked.

"She killed people?" Allison asked.

"Oh yes. You can pretty much trace the mistreatment of mages, the hatred of elves and the power of the Chantry all back to the Maker's Bride. People love thinking that they're better than everyone else and Andraste gave them a cause." Isabela peered up at the statue. "I don't even think she looks that pretty. What the Maker ever saw in her I have _no_ idea."

Allison wanted to get a closer look so she crossed the floor and climbed up the steps. The statue was even more intimating up close. She had to crane her neck to look up.

"She doesn't seem very approachable." Allison observed. "Where are statues of the Maker?"

Isabela shrugged.

"There aren't any. I guess he was too busy to pose. Of course it serves the Chantry well to have the flock focus on Andraste because she hated mages. It helps them to get the support of the people in locking them up. But as Anders is only _too_ happy to point out; the Maker still gifts the world with magic. Why would he do that if magic was evil?" Isabela scrunched her face up. "Ugh, I've been listening to Anders go on too much. Don't tell him I said any of that."

Allison struggled to keep up. Religion was not her forte in either world.

"So, it's the Chantry that makes all of the mages stay in the Circle?" she said, trying to keep the facts straight.

"It's not just the mages Dear. The Chantry believes that everyone who doesn't follow the Chant of Light needs to be saved. Especially other races like the elves and the dwarves. And they have an army to back it up: The Templars." Isabela said a reproachful glance around her.

Allison frowned. "It doesn't seem right to use force to convert people. A church having its own sounds dangerous."

"Tell Anders that when you get back and he may kiss you again." Isabela said with a saucy grin.

Allison sighed. "Speaking of Anders, let's get out of here. This place is kind of heavy."

"If you mean boring and dripping with sanctimonious hypocrisy, you're right." Isabela glided to the door and at the last second, she turned and winked at the group of women that was staring at them. "Bye, bye ladies!"

Allison hurried out after her, hoping that if the Maker did exist, he wouldn't smite them for that.

On the way back to Anders' clinic, Allison bought some rather poor cuts of red meat from a vendor who nonetheless seemed respectable. She saw that Thedas had vinegar so she grabbed some of that as well as salt and other spices. Allison rounded out her purchases with some vegetables to make sure there was some nutrition.

She knew that stretching out their food supply was important and she was happy that Isabela had been with her because the pirate had been able to haggle the prices down so that Allison still had a sovereign left.

Not knowing exactly how long she would be there, Allison figured that keeping a bit of money was good.

It was early evening by the time Isabela walked her to the clinic door.

"There you are, safe and sound." Isabela bowed theatrically.

Allison's purchases were in a sack so she had a free hand. She impulsively threw her arm around Isabela and hugged her.

"Thank you for taking me with you today. Despite the fact that I engaged in questionable activities, I had a really good time. The best I've had in a long time actually."

Isabela was startled by Allison's sudden display of affection but she was also pleased. It was a new experience to be hugged by someone without that person trying to feel her up or expecting sex in exchange for closene

"You're welcome. As long as you're here, I'll be happy for your company. I'll see if I can dream up something even more exciting for next time." Isabela promised with a laugh.

"Something non-criminal though ok?" Allison added.

"Spoil sport." Isabela pouted but she waked away with a grin.

Allison stared at the clinic doors. Lanterns had been lit and they swayed gently in the slight breeze coming from the ocean. The sound of the waves was comforting and she needed comfort when she thought about facing Anders after what had happened. Would he still be cold? Maybe he didn't even care and she was the only one obsessing about their kiss. Maybe he had been glad to be rid of her all day.

Allison reached for the door but it swung open suddenly and she almost fell forward.

Strong hands grabbed her arms and Allison looked up into Anders' amber eyes. His face was lined with worry and his hair looked messy like he had been running his fingers through it.

"Where in the hell have you been!" he roared. "Do you know that I've been going out of my _mind_ thinking that something terrible had happened to you?"

He pulled her inside and slammed the door behind her.

"I went to The Hanged Man and Varric told me that you had run of with _Isabela_ of all people! Are you insane?" he shouted.

Allison was dazed and confused. Several words bubbled up to her lips and she tried to grasp a few of them.

"Why would you care?" she asked but her voice was mild not accusatory.

Anders blinked and then opened and closed his mouth. Her question seemed to astonish him.

"Why would I…what do you mean? Of _course_ I care!"

He said it like she should have known better and it made Allison bristle.

"Don't say it like that!" she snapped. "When I left this morning you couldn't wait to get rid of me so don't pretend to be the caring, gentle healer now."

She elbowed past him and set the sack down on the table which wobbled under the weight of the groceries.

She didn't turn to look at him; she was too flustered and irritated. Instead she took the food out of the bag and organized what she'd need to preserve the meat.

_Vinegar, salt, spices…_

She could feel him standing behind her. The heat from his body was already familiar and it made her hands unsteady.

"I'm sorry." he said quietly.

She didn't respond.

Anders caught her hand and pulled her around to face him. He stared into her eyes intently; his other hand coming up to cup her face.

"Allison, I'm sorry. Really. I shouldn't have acted like that. You didn't do anything wrong, it was me."

Allison scowled but she was loathe to move away from him.

"Are you using the: _'It's not you, it's me'_ line?" she asked acerbically.

He smiled slightly. "It's true. It _is_ me. I wish…I wish that things were different but…" he sighed in frustration. "I can't explain it to you."

Allison folded her arms and arched an eyebrow.

"Is it you or is it Justice?" she asked.

Anders' hand fell to his side numbly.

"How do you know about him?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Allison rolled her eyes. "You act like someone's listening. It's just you and me and well… _him_. So maybe we should talk."

Anders sat down heavily and Allison saw that he looked exhausted and changed plans.

"I got some food to cook. How about we have dinner first and then you can tell me about your friend?" she offered.

Allison filled a pot with water and began heating it over the fire.

Anders was bemused. "I'm surprised you didn't run away screaming when you found out about Justice. I'm assuming Varric and Isabela told you?"

"Yes. I learned a lot today." she replied. "But, why would I run?"

Anders gaze was stark and vulnerable.

"I'm a freak. My joining with Justice is unnatural. There are many that would brand me an abomination." He answered, checking her expression for signs of fear. There was none.

"I learned about abominations too and I can tell that you're not one of those." Allison said with certainty. "Abominations sound terrifying and I'm not scared of you."

Anders' eyes seem to harden. "Maybe you should be."

Allison discounted his warning.

"Too bad for you because I'm not." She went back to preparing dinner.

Anders got up, just noticing that she had food.

"Where in the world did you get all of that?" he asked, completely bewildered.

Allison froze and scrambled for an explanation that wouldn't make Anders' unforeseen anger return, but she couldn't think of anything but the truth.

She wiped her hands nervously on her jeans and turned around.

"Um, funny story." she said.

Anders looked like he didn't believe _that_ for a second. "Really?" he said ominously. "By all means, _amuse_ me." He waited, folding his arms over his chest.

Allison bit her bottom lip and Anders had apparently become familiar with that habit being a tell that she was apprehensive. He simply raised one eyebrow, saying nothing.

"Well, there's this place called the Blooming Rose…" she began.


	11. Chapter 11 Time to Talk

***Thank you all for reviewing and adding the story to your favorites or alerts. Feedback is really important to helping the story to keep going. It's like coffee with crack in it or something.**

**One thing that will be different in this story is Justice. I remembered how much I liked him in DA: Awakenings and I think that part of Justice is still like that. Yes, he's going to go ape crap on Templars and he will support mages and make Anders go all badass, but I'm going to develop Justice as a character as well and bring in some of his qualities from Awakenings. Part of the fun of writing a fanfic is getting to make the story what you want right?***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 11 – Time To Talk

Anders blanched when Allison said she had gone to the Blooming Rose. She had been with Isabela which means that she any number of awful things might have happened. And since she came back with money and food, she had obviously gotten it somewhere. He dreaded thinking about what she had done to earn it.

_Damn it! I shouldn't have let her run off like that!_

"Please tell me that this story doesn't end up in the obvious place." he begged.

Allison looked puzzled. "What's the obvious place?" she asked.

Anders ran his fingers through his hair; something he had been doing since Allison had left that morning.

"You went to a brothel with Isabela and you came back with money and food. You tell me what the obvious conclusion is?" he replied, his voice rising.

Anders would have said that Allison looked offended but that word wasn't strong enough. She looked as if molten lava could be pouring out of her ears. She stepped to him and poked him in the chest, hard.

"You think that I'm a whore?" she accused in a low voice. "Why? Because I was dumb enough to let you kiss me and because I wasn't ashamed of it?" She shoved him back a few inches. "I can't help it if you're a flighty coward who makes a move on a woman and then runs off like a child!"

Anders didn't know which accusation to address first. Allison's gray-blue eyes were flashing and if looks could kill he'd be in a puddle of flesh on the floor.

"I wasn't saying that. It's just that you're not from here and I thought that Isabela may have talked you into something…unsavory." he explained.

That didn't help.

Allison's eyes narrowed. "That's making the assumption that I could ever be talked into selling my body for money, you jerk!"

"I didn't mean that you could it's just…Isabela…never mind. I'm sorry, again. I keep making a mess of things. First this morning and now this. I used to be much smoother than this." Anders stammered.

Allison made a face. "I doubt that."

Anders winced. "Alright, let's start over. Tell me what happened at the Rose, please."

Allison told him about Marjorie, Geralt and Isabela's deal with the Madame. He was left gaping.

"That didn't exactly make me feel better." he said, still reeling from the fact that Isabela had dragged Allison into a con.

"I didn't kill anyone, unlike some people." she commented dryly.

"True." he conceded.

"Look, I'm not proud of what we did, but no one got hurt and we have some food." Allison said gesturing at her purchases.

Anders took a look at what she had bought.

"You got meat?" he said. "Real meat? I haven't had that since I was running away from Ferelden and living in the Wilds. I caught a hare once and roasted it. One of the best meals I've ever had as an apostate."

Allison felt awful. In her world she took that kind of thing for granted but it was quickly becoming clear that she couldn't do that while she in Thedas.

"I know that making food last is important so I'm going to make jerky." she explained.

"What is jerky?" Anders asked. It was such a strange word.

Allison laughed. Of course that would sound weird to him. "You see this vinegar and salt? I'm going to soak the meat in it and season it. It will dry out the meat but it will last longer and we don't need refrigeration."

Anders frowned. "What's refrigeration?"

Allison sighed. "Um, where I come from there are these big storage cases that keep food cold. That way it doesn't spoil."

Anders looked stupefied. "That's incredible! It sounds like magic."

She snickered. "No, not magic, just science." She grabbed a bowl and started pouring the ingredients in. "Let me get this started and I'll throw the vegetables into the pot for soup."

Anders was quiet for a moment. "Thank you."

Allison didn't turn when she spoke. "For what?"

"You've been good to me, despite how I've acted. I've seen your face and I know that you recognize how little I have. It still shames me, but you've never made me feel like less of a man because of it." he said quietly.

Allison threw the vegetable in the boiling water over the fire and then walked over to where he stood, staring at his boots.

She touched his arm hesitantly and he looked up at her, his defenses down.

Anders responded to her touch even though he didn't want to. It was natural he supposed. Allison was incredibly lovely and caring. How could he not be affected? Add to that, the fact that she kept _feeding _him and she was perfect, he thought in amusement.

Allison rubbed his arm comfortingly. "Now that the food is cooking can we have that talk? I don't want to fight and I hate feeling uncomfortable around you after what happened."

Anders nodded and pulled out a chair for her. "Please, sit down. You deserve to know the truth and I'm sorry that you had to hear it from Varric and Isabela instead of me."

Allison smiled. "It's ok. I imagine that it's hard to strike up a conversation like that. How do you tell someone like me that you've got a spirit from the Fade living in your body?"

"Indeed." he chuckled. "Still, there were a few times when Justice has made himself known since you arrived and I should have told you then just in case he came out."

Allison nodded, remembering. "It was when the blue light came out wasn't it? When we were talking about the jobs you take and about mages?"

Anders was reticent but he needed to explain it to her. "I honestly thought that I'd be able to get you home before Justice became an issue."

Allison caught his tone and felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. "You say that like you don't believe that I'll be going home any time soon."

Anders took her hands which were folded in her lap. "I did study the phenomenon more like I said. There is a place we can go to see if our theory holds but, it's complicated. There's no guarantee that we're right and even if we are we can't be sure that we can simply activate the mechanism that made your trip possible."

He hated to see her face fall in despair. If he could he would just wave his hand and send her back to her home, but he couldn't.

Allison forced a small smile. "Well, let's just see what happens ok?"

Anders nodded. "So, what would you like to know about Justice?"

Allison stared at her hands which were still being held by Anders. His hands were warm and it felt good to have him touching her. She felt like a fool but it couldn't be helped.

"Isabela and Varric told me that Justice got trapped outside of the Fade and that he inhabited the body of a dead Gray Warden. I understand that as much as someone from my world can." She hesitated because her question was personal and his answer had the capability to humiliate her.

Anders saw her struggling and he squeezed her hands in encouragement. "Just ask me."

Allison swallowed. "They told me that they thought it was Justice that made you leave after we kissed. They said that he tried to keep you focused on the plight of mage and that he won't let you have any fun."

Anders felt Justice's pique at that statement and he tried not to laugh. It wasn't funny. He had hurt Allison's feelings and she didn't deserve it. She deserved honesty.

He rubbed his thumbs across Allison's knuckles, feeling the tension in her.

"They were right in a way. A long time ago, in another life, I was a very foolish boy. I slept with many women and I viewed the world through idealistic eyes. As I got older and after I escaped the Circle that final time, I started to see the truth. I couldn't ignore the abuses that were heaped on mages both in the Circle and out. It was in this state that Justice found me. When we melded, he absorbed so much of my anger and indignation that it changed him. When I first met him, Justice was honorable and brave. At first he didn't understand humans but after spending time with the Hero of Ferelden he came to admire us and the beauty of our emotions."

Anders glanced up to find Allison listening intently, so he continued.

"I admired him as well. To be a spirit and to be ripped away from your home and find yourself trapped in a decaying body; he handled it very well and he wanted to carry on Kristoff's work of fighting the darkspawn. We became friends. But my hatred of the Chantry, of the Templars, the Circle; it was too strong and Justice was lost." Anders felt the familiar guilt settle on him. "It was my fault and because of me a good…person is gone."

Allison didn't say anything for a long time and Anders let her think it through.

"So, Justice was so altered by your feelings that he can no longer feel friendship or affection? And if you do he what? Stomps it down?" Allison asked, watching his face for any hint of the spirit.

Anders shook his head. "No, that's not true. I can feel what he feels. He still views me as a friend. It's just that he thinks we have a higher purpose now and that we need to concentrate on that."

Allison tried to see where Justice was coming from but it didn't sound healthy.

"To the exclusion of all else? What about your happiness?" she inquired, a hint of temper in her voice.

Anders clenched his jaw. "Working for the freedom of mages makes me happy." he said, a little too forcefully.

Allison looked doubtful. "Oh really? Yes, I can see how happy you are. If that's true then why did you kiss me?" she challenged.

Anders pulled away from her. "I just wanted…"

"What? What did you want Anders?" she pressed.

He looked away. "I just wanted to be close to someone. It's been so long and I care about you…" he shook his head.

Allison took his hands this time. "And why is that wrong? Why is it wrong for you to want to be with someone?"

Anders stared at the floor. "We cannot allow ourselves to be distracted from our cause." It sounded like he was reciting something someone had told him repeatedly.

Allison took another tactic. "So your cause is make mages free so that they can live where they want without the threat of being hunted by Templars and without being hated by ignorant people?"

Anders looked at her then. "Yes, that right, in part. Why do you say it like that?" he asked cautiously.

Allison didn't answer that question; instead she asked another.

"And what would the mages do with this freedom?"

Anders didn't understand where her logic was going. "I suppose that we would live like normal people."

"And what does that _mean_? What is your dream for mages?" she continued.

Anders eyes took on a distant look as he thought about it. The goal that he and Justice had been working for so long.

"I like to imagine mages living in cities and villages with everyone else. When a babe was born with magical abilities it wouldn't be a cause for sadness but one of joy." He smiled slightly, letting the picture form in his mind. "The child could be trained to use his powers to _help_ others, and he would grow up feeling loved by his parents."

Allison watched Anders wistful expression and it pained her to see him like this. All he wanted was a normal life and the freedom to use his gift to help his fellow man. He spoke of it like it was a fantasy and Allison hoped that it could come true someday.

"And what of that child's future?" she said.

Anders was still looking inward and his smile grew larger. "He could grow up and fall in love; have a family of his own, a home. He could grow old with someone and watch his grandchildren play at his feet."

Allison decided to make her point. "And you and Justice feel that a mage can't try to find any happiness until _all_ mages are free? It's all or nothing?"

"Of course not. I help many mages in the Underground to escape and I pray that they are able to find some peace away from the Circle." he contradicted.

Allison quirked a brow. "_Oh_, so I see; _you're_ the only mage who isn't allowed to have any peace. I mean you wouldn't want to give the other mages hope by seeing you a teeny bit happy would you?"

Anders came out of his reverie, grasping what she was trying to say. "It's not like that! I'm fine. Someone has to fight!"

Allison stood up. "While you live half a life?" She looked around the clinic. "It's like you're doing _penance_ or something! What did you do that was **so** bad that you have to cut yourself off from feelings or joy?"

Anders rose as well, his anger swelling. "Who are you to question how I live my life?"

"_I'm_ the woman that you wanted to get close to. I'm the woman you kissed and then pushed away!" she countered. "Do you know how hard it was for me to open myself up like that just to have you turn tail and run?"

Anders gritted his teeth. "That's why we can't do this! I'm not a man anymore; I can't have that life."

Allison gave him a withering look. "I think it's easier for you to believe that because you can just hide down here instead of trying to have what you claim you want for other mages. Maybe you're afraid of failure."

A strange webbing of light crackled over Anders' eyes and in a sudden burst of brightness he began to glow.

With a quickness that Allison couldn't have guessed he possessed, Anders put his arm at her throat and pinned her against the wall.

The voice that came out sounded nothing like the man she knew.

"**You have baited him long enough!"** the voice boomed.

Allison was frightened. The voice sounded oddly amplified and the timbre was different from Anders'. She couldn't even see the warm brown of his eyes anymore. It was like looking into electricity.

She tried to speak despite the pressure against her windpipe.

"Is this Justice?" she croaked.

"**Why are you filling his head with dreams? The Circle is a threat. The Templars are a threat. The mages must be free."** was the response.

Allison shoved against Anders' arm but he was very strong. She wasn't sure if the spirit gave him that strength or not.

She tried to remain calm even though she was lightheaded.

"Then you don't… care about Anders… anymore?" she asked, gasping.

Anders/Justice tilted his head to side as if confused. **"Of course I care for him; he is my friend. That is why we must fight."**

"And he's not allowed to be happy while he fights?" Allison responded, gaining no ground in getting free.

Justice sneered at her. **"And you believe that **_**you**_** can make him happy?"**

"I'm not talking about me. I care about Anders too and it's obvious that he's very lonely." she said.

Again the puzzled expression came but Justice let her go. **"Why would he be lonely? I am with him at all times."**

Allison rubbed her neck and coughed. "If you live inside of him why can't you see what he's feeling?"

Justice looked slightly put out. **"When I am not needed I try to disconnect myself from him as much as possible. Being in a living human can be…uncomfortable."**

Allison laughed derisively. "So, you have the luxury of ignoring Anders emotions and desires because it makes you _uncomfortable_? How convenient! Anders doesn't have the ability to just _stop_ feeling, and if you were listening you _know_ how unhappy he is. Maybe you should tune back in for a while and get a grip on reality."

Justice frowned. **"I do not wish him to be unhappy. But the mages must be free of the Chantry."**

Allison looked at Justice like he was a simpleton. "Did it ever occur to you that people have more energy to fight when they have something to live for? Living in Darktown and helping the sick and the poor is incredibly generous. Anders deserves to rest and enjoy himself. He needs to remember that he's part of the human race for God sake!"

Justice looked skeptical. **"And you human; you think that you are so wise?" **he mocked.

Allison felt tired suddenly. "I'm human, which you aren't so I'm going to assume that I have more experience with this. And yes, I know what it's like to feel cut off from other people; to isolate yourself and to forget what it's like to have someone care about you."

An unreadable expression crossed Justice/Anders' face as Allison sat back down.

"**I will think on what you have said Girl." **And with that the light died out and Anders staggered backwards.

Allison hopped back up quickly, catching his shoulders. "Are you ok?"

Anders nodded, himself again. "Yes, I'm fine." He gave her a long look. "You gave Justice quite a talking to didn't you?" he said with a wry grin.

Allison gasped. "You could hear me?"

Anders laughed. "Yes. Justice and I are one. When he is out and about, I can still hear what's going on. He can do the same but as he told you, he tries to stay distant."

Allison suddenly remembered the soup and rushed over to the fire to check it. The vegetable were tender and after adding a pinch of salt and some herbs, dinner was ready.

"Grab some bowls would you? Talking to a spirit of the Fade is exhausting!" she joked.

Anders brought the bowls over and held them while she ladled the soup in.

"Are _you_ alright? You look very tired." Anders said with concern.

"I'm fine. I did have a busy day, what with the brothel and all." She grinned and Anders groaned.

"Don't remind me!" he exclaimed.

Anders breathed in the scent of the soup and his stomach stabbed him with hunger pains.

"Go on and eat." Allison said seeing him practically drooling over the food.

"Thanks." Anders dug in and couldn't be bothered with social etiquette.

Allison thought that maybe she should look into buying napkins and a tarp the way he ate.

Anders had three bowls of the hearty soup before he finally stopped. Allison chuckled and she had to admit that she felt quite satisfied seeing him like this.

The people she catered for were typically happy with her work but it was different cooking for Anders. He did so much and got so little in return. She was glad to be able to give him something.

Anders took their empty bowls and put them on the table.

"Since you were so adventurous today, perhaps you should go to bed. It's getting late." Anders suggested.

Allison was already yawning so she didn't argue. She stood up and stretched and Anders watched her with hooded eyes.

"What?" she asked, feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that's all." he said quietly. "Go on. Off to bed with you."

Allison turned and she felt a cold sweat break out on her skin. She felt short of breath suddenly and her limbs were tingling.

Anders saw Allison stiffen a moment before she fell to the ground.

He ran to her side and fell to his knees, placing his hand under her head so it wouldn't smack against the hard floor. Thinking quickly he grabbed a pillow from a nearby cot and put it under Allison's head. Then he stripped his robe off and covered her with it.

Even though magic hadn't worked before, Anders tried to heal her. He sent a wave of healing magic through her body and sought out the sickness. Again, as his powers reached her mind they were thrown back at him. Anders grunted with effort and refocused his energy, trying again. The same thing happened.

Allison was still flailing about and he was helpless. He had no idea what to do. His powers could not help her.

Anders best his head close to Allison's ear and spoke softly to her, Perhaps she could hear him even in this state.

"Allison, I'm here. You're going to be alright. I've got you, and I'm not going anywhere." he whispered as he wiped the sweat from her brow. "Come on Sweetheart, come back." he murmured.

He wanted to hold her but he was worried that about gathering her in his arms.

Her breathing was shallow and her skin was glistening with sweat. Anders rose quickly and dipped a cloth in water. He continued to wipe her skin until she finally stopped moving.

There was a terrifying moment when Anders wasn't sure that she was breathing. He felt a shaft of icy fear pierce his heart and then he heard Allison's ragged breathing resume.

He touched his lips to her cheek. "Thank the Maker."

Anders lifted her in his arms and carried her to her bed. Her clothes were wet with perspiration and he didn't think that it was good for her to sleep in them like that.

Hopefully she wouldn't think him a cad when she awoke because he honestly wasn't trying to get her clothes off. Allison was beginning to shiver and he wanted to keep her warm.

Anders removed her shoes first and then got behind her so he could prop her up to take her shirt off.

She wore a breast band of a kind that Anders had never seen before; and he had seen many. It was black and covered with lace. He considered removing it and thought better of it.

He laid Allison back down and began to tackle the closure of her strange trousers. He had unfastened the button when a voice called to him from out in the main room.

"Hello? Anders? I came to make sure that you hadn't killed Allison for being naughty." Isabela yelled.

Anders went to the bedroom door, grateful for Isabela's sudden appearance.

"Isabela, come here. Allison had a seizure and I need your help." he said urgently.

Anders was surprised to see genuine concern on Isabela's face and she ran into the room quickly.

"Is she alright!" Isabela asked, kneeling by Allison's cot. "Oh poor thing. Allison can you hear me?"

"She's unconscious Isabela. This happened the last time she became ill. It took her a while to wake up." Anders said.

"She looks cold." Isabela observed.

"Yes, that's why I'm glad you're here. Her clothes are wet from perspiring and I was trying to take them off. And if you say _one_ dirty thing to me I'll burn your hair."

Isabela believed him so she controlled herself. She was more worried about Allison anyway.

"I'll get her pants off. Do you have anything that she can sleep in Anders?" she asked.

Anders opened a drawer and took out a shirt. He was taller than Allison so it would cover all of the necessary parts.

Isabela got Allison's jeans off and then with Anders's help she put his shirt on her.

"Here, give me her clothes. I'll take them with me to the Hanged Man and have them washed. That will make her feel better tomorrow." Isabela offered.

Anders was taken aback by Isabela's thoughtfulness and he handed Allison's shirt and pants over to the woman.

Isabela looked critically at Allison and then made a decision. "Turn around." she ordered.

"What for?" Anders asked.

"If I'm going to wash her clothes, I may as well wash everything. Turn around. I know she wouldn't want you to see…_yet_ that is." Isabela said with a wicked laugh.

Anders understood that Isabela meant Allison's smallclothes and he spun around, blushing like a boy.

"Don't think I didn't see that delicious red hue on your face mage boy." Isabela commented.

Anders said something nasty under his breath and Isabela laughed again, quite pleased with herself.

In a serious tone she asked, "Do you think this was my fault?"

Anders kept his back turned. "Allison getting sick? I don't think so. She ended up meeting Justice and they had a talk. I think it was too much for her. She got very tired right before she collapsed."

Isabela stood up. "All done. I'll have these back to her tomorrow."

Anders turned and saw Allison sleeping; her chest rising and falling under his shirt. Her dark hair was slightly curly and she looked peaceful.

He felt a strange tightness in his chest as he watched her. He wanted to…

Isabela cleared her throat. "Take care of her ok?"

Anders didn't look at Isabela but he nodded. He heard the door to the clinic close and he walked over to where Allison lay sleeping.

Anders felt Justice's concern and was dismayed. The spirit apparently had a grudging respect for her. When Anders tried to sense why, he felt Justice's acceptance of the simple fact that Allison cared for the mage. That was enough to make Justice more comfortable with her presence, even though the spirit was still mulling over their argument. Justice didn't wish to see Allison harmed though so at least he and Anders could agree on _that_.

Anders brushed some strands of hair away from Allison's face and watched her carefully. It looked like she was breathing easier and he was hopeful that she would awaken soon.

Anders became aware of a sudden truth. When Allison went back home, _if_ they could get her there; he was truly going to miss her. He had gotten used to having her there.

It was nice to have someone at home, someone to talk to, to share a meal with. He liked having her feminine presence around. He loved the sound of her laugh and the way her fascinating eyes got wide when she learned something new about Thedas. He loved that she accepted him as he was; with Justice and all.

He had never met anyone like her, and she made his dreary clinic feel more like a home.

Anders traced her cheekbones with his fingers, dedicating the feeling to memory.

_What am I going to do about you?_

***I've always had this fantasy of wearing one of Anders' shirts to sleep in. Yum. Please review!***


	12. Chapter 12 Beginnings

***Sorry this update took so long. My back is giving me trouble and I can't sit up for long. This took forever to write because of that.**

**You guys rock! Thank you so, _so_ much for the reviews! Please don't stop!**

**(Note: I made up an origin story for Anders; at least I think so, apart from where he's from anyway.)**

**Bioware owns Dragon Age, I own Allison ***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 12 – Beginnings

_Anders was warm. _

_The mattress beneath him was soft and there was a tantalizing scent teasing his nose. Without opening his eyes, Anders inhaled and the familiar fragrance of lilies filled him with peace. _

_He sighed and moved closer to that comfort only to feel soft skin brushing against his hand. Anders opened his eyes and saw the loveliest span of a woman's backside that he had ever beheld. _

_Black hair with a bit of curl was cascading past the woman's shoulders and Anders reached out to feel the strands. The woman's neck was visible and he pressed a kiss to it. _

_It felt very natural that he should be there, with her, even though he couldn't see her face. The woman sighed contentedly and rolled over. _

_Blue-gray eyes met his and Anders smiled. Allison smiled back, her hands stroking his chest. Anders pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. He could feel her legs tangle with his own and he swiftly rolled her onto her back, covering her with his body. Her legs hooked around his waist and he groaned._

"_Anders!" she whispered as he kissed her throat and her shoulders, moving down…_

Anders woke with a start, his body throbbing in the most painful way. He sat up and tried to calm his breathing. He looked behind him to where Allison lay, and hoped that he hadn't made sounds out loud. She was still sleeping so at least he could be glad for that.

Prying that she wouldn't wake up and see him in this most embarrassing uncomfortable, Anders walked over and filled the wash bowl, splashing water on his face and chest. He wished for a bucket of cold water to break the grip the dream had on him, but there was none to be had.

He had been plagued by the dreams for several days now and they showed no sign of going away.

Remembering last night, Anders rose to check on Allison.

He put a hand to her forehead and her skin felt normal. Her breathing was fine and she seemed to be resting well.

He had stayed up for a time the previous night to make sure that she was alright. It aggravated him beyond measure that his magic was of no use to her in this situation. He felt utterly helpless when all he could do was watch her thrash about while he just sat there hoping that she could hear him.

His skills had never failed him before but he was truly stymied by her illness. It pained him because he truly cared for her, more than he should if he was honest with himself.

Anders was surprised that Justice did not admonish him for his thoughts. It seemed that the spirit was still contemplating his "discussion" with Allison. And Anders could sense that Justice felt remorse for hurting her unwittingly. The spirit was wondering if he had been the catalyst for her seizure.

Those somber thoughts quickly reversed his discomfort and Anders went out of the bedroom to prepare a tea blend for when Allison woke up, thanking the Maker as he went she had not awoken to that sight.

The herbs she had gotten him from Sol in the Gallows were quite good, better than what he usually had, and Anders hoped that the Saphris leaves would lessen the headache she tended to have after she became ill, and that the Glouerberries would restore some of her energy.

Anders started a fire and began crushing the leaves into a blend.

Allison woke up feeling spent but oddly comfortable. She couldn't tell why at first until she stretched and realized that she wasn't wearing her clothes. Allison was alarmed, but since she was lying in her bed in Anders' clinic, she knew that she was safe.

Allison was wearing a soft, long-sleeved shirt with undone laces at the neck. The sleeves went well past her wrists and when she tugged the hem down it went past her hips. It was obviously a man's shirt and that meant that it belonged to Anders.

_Anders' shirt?_ Had she missed something really important? As her senses become more alert, Allison also became aware that she was naked underneath the mage's shirt. _Completely_ naked!

Trying to smother the mortification, Allison tried not to hyperventilate at the thought that Anders had undressed her after she became ill. That meant that he had seen her naked. _Oh my God!_

Her skin got warm but her stomach felt sick. It was utterly ridiculous that she was equally worried about what Anders had thought of what he had seen.

Maybe if she just hid in the room and pretended to sleep she wouldn't have to face him? No. Allison wasn't a coward and she wasn't going to find her clothes by staying in bed.

Throwing back the covers, Allison sat up and rested for a moment. Her skin felt dull like there was a coating of sweat that had dried. It was probably true.

Standing up slowly and walking carefully to the table in the bedroom, Allison washed her face and arms with a cloth. Reaching under the shirt, she attempted to wash her chest and stomach as well. It was good that Anders was taller than her because the shirt was more like a short nightgown for her. She chewed on a piece of fresh mint leaf that Anders kept around and that made her feel better.

Anders had a tarnished mirror against one wall and Allison peered into it.

It wasn't too bad. The menswear look worked in Thedas too it seemed.

Allison ran her fingers through her hair to restore some order to it and then peeked out of the bedroom door, seeing if there were any patients in yet. The thin light breaking across the ceiling told her that it was still early. That was good; she really didn't need anyone else seeing her running around like this.

Anders was sitting at the table in the main room when he felt Allison's presence behind him. He turned to wish her a good morning but the words died on his tongue before he could speak them.

She stood there looking tousled and sleepy, her dark hair slightly tangled as hung past her shoulders. The sunlight coming in from the high windows did not fully illuminate her appearance but he could see her feminine shape through the fabric of his shirt.

Anders had never seen a woman wear a man's shirt before and the fact that Allison was wearing _his_ made heat pool in his loins again.

_Maker's breath! She looked incredible!_ How could his thin, plain, undershirt caress _every_ curve, highlight _every_ supple inch of her body like that? The woman looked so sensual that it was criminal.

Anders knew that he looked as if he had never seen a woman before. Maybe he hadn't. Even Justice seemed to think there was something ethereally beautiful about her, though in a more distant and non-sexual way.

Anders tried to make his mouth form words as he scrambled awkwardly to his feet.

"Um, good morning. How are you feeling? You look wonderful…I mean _well_, you look well." he stammered. "Very well."

Allison shifted uncomfortably. Anders had gawked at her for so long that she had wondered if she had grown a third eye since she walked out of the bedroom.

"I'm a little tired. I did too much yesterday, it was my own fault." She hesitated before broaching the subject. "May I ask where my clothes are?" she said, wishing that she was as confident in her body as Isabela was.

Anders tried to keep his eyes on Allison's face instead of letting his gaze wonder where it wished to.

"Isabela took them to be washed. Don't worry, I didn't see anything. Isabela changed your clothes. I would never take advantage." Anders reassured her.

For some reason Anders' statement didn't make Allison feel better. Instead she felt even more self-conscious, like maybe he really had no interest in looking. Weren't guys _always_ supposed to want to look? Unless she was a gargoyle…

Allison grimaced. "Don't worry Anders I get it." she muttered.

Anders' brow wrinkled slightly. "You get _what_?"

Allison was done with this. All of her old insecurities came rushing back. She hated it.

She sighed unhappily, but made a semblance of a smile. "I _get_ that you have no interest in me, other than as a patient and short-term guest. I _get_ that you would never even _**think**_ of looking at me, even if I danced a jig buck naked. I _get_ it! You don't need to make such an effort to remind me. I know what I look like."

Anders was struck speechless. While it was true that he had been careful not to encourage any romantic feelings between them since he had been stupid enough to kiss her, Anders couldn't believe that his actions had caused Allison to doubt her own appeal.

"Are you mad?" he said angrily. That wasn't what he had intended to say but that's what came out.

Allison blinked. "Mad? What are you talking about?"

Anders felt angry, but he wasn't sure _why_ he was angry.

"Are you going to stand there, wearing a gossamer thin shirt that clings to every sinful plane of your body and tell me that my decision not to pursue anything between us has made you feel…unattractive?" he snapped.

Allison decided that she must be more tired than she thought because Anders' reaction made no sense.

"May I ask why you're so put out?" she inquired with false politeness.

"I don't know, but you're being ridiculous." he replied.

"Oh, well I wouldn't want to be ridiculous. It _is_ ridiculous that when I put myself out there with a man, for the first time in a long time, and he and the spirit of Justice living inside of him decide that I'm not good enough, it would bother me. What _was_ I thinking?" Allison mocked snidely.

Anders ran agitated fingers through his hair. "It's not that you're not good enough! _I'm_ not…I…I can't give you what you deserve Allison."

She had no idea what he was talking about. "What does that mean Anders? What do I deserve?"

Anders wanted to punch something. "You deserve someone who can give you what you need. You _need_ someone who's whole, not divided like I am. I'm not a normal man Allison."

She cocked an eyebrow. "What? The parts don't work anymore?"

Anders gritted his teeth. "Maker, I _wish_ they didn't! Do you have any idea how difficult it's been having you in my bedroom, only a few feet away every night?" Anders walked up to her, standing a few, tense inches away. "You have no idea how often I've dreamed of sharing that bed with you."

Allison hadn't been prepared for his direct response. She had been pretending to be worldlier than she actually was and now it had backfired. She didn't know how to deal with Anders' confession. Part of her was absurdly pleased that he had thought of her like that and the other part of her was scared witless about it.

Anders was standing so close to her that she couldn't breathe properly. There was a faint herbal scent coming from his robes that was very pleasant. It reminded her of chamomile. She drifted towards him without consciously decided to do so. 

"Anders, I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of stuff. I haven't had a boyfriend since college, and even then it was a brief relationship. It just…hurt, when you rejected me like that. I've never been popular with guys and it made feel…well, I just don't go around _kissing_ everyone, and then _we_ kissed and I thought that…I don't know what I thought, but I wanted to see what would happen which is unlike me." Allison smiled ruefully.

Ander returned her smile. "The men from your world must be incredibly slow-witted, almost as much as I am."

Anders put his palm on her cheek, stroking it softly. "I can't give you something that I don't have."

Allison grasped the hand on her face and tried to be brave. "Anders, we're going to try and return me home soon. Why don't we just spend _time_ together? I'd like to get to know you better and we can just see what happens."

Anders' smile widened. And his eyes were warm. "I have time, and I'd like to spend it with you as well. You're unlike anyone I've ever known and it would be good for me to get out of here more often. I could show you the countryside and the coast."

Allison grinned happily. "That sounds wonderful, I'd love it."

Allison went up on her tip toes and kissed Anders' cheek. The stubble on his face felt nice and she pulled away so she wouldn't rub her face against it.

_Jeez, I can't even kiss his cheek without getting all goofy_, she thought.

Anders made a sudden decision and he caught Allison as she pulled back.

"No. Let's do that again." he said softly.

Holding Allison's face in both his hands, Anders bent his head, bringing their lips almost together. He stared into her bewildered eyes for a moment before he pressed his lips against hers.

It was a gentle pressure at first. Anders didn't take more than she was willing to give. He simply enjoyed the feel of her lips moving with his own and tried not to over-analyze things.

Her mouth was soft like rose petals and Anders felt his heart start beating in a staccato rhythm.

Allison placed her hands on his shoulders and Anders stepped in closer until her body was flush with his. He wrapped one arm around her waist and used his other hand to gently tug her mouth open. Allison complied, a little hesitantly, and Anders' tongue swept inside.

He groaned; he couldn't help it. His arm tightened, but he tried to control the urge to crush her to him.

Allison wasn't as able to control herself but she was unaware of Anders' own struggles.

Her hands travelled up the back of Anders' neck until they touched his hair. Allison had wanted to get her hands in his hair, so she released the band that was holding his ponytail in place and splayed her finger against his scalp, massaging it as she enjoyed his hair being loose.

Anders grunted in pleasure. The woman may not be a mage, but she had magical fingers.

He deepened the kiss, cupping the back of Allison's head with his hand.

Anders' head began to swim with desire and he broke the kiss gently.

He pressed his forehead against hers and Allison was breathing as hard as he was.

"I think we've tempted fate enough for now." he said wryly.

Allison couldn't speak so she just nodded mutely.

Anders was painfully aware that she was naked. He could feel her beneath the shirt which was now riding high on her thighs.

Taking a deep breath, Anders extricated himself and put a safer distance between them.

"Isabela will bring your clothes back later today. For now, I've made a tea for you to drink. Come."

Anders pulled out a chair for her and Allison sat down, all be it a little wobbly.

_You would think I've never been kissed before_, she thought. _Maybe you haven't_, came an internal response.

The tea Anders had brewed smelled delicious and Allison sipped it while inhaling the fragrance.

She smiled after tasting it. "It's really good, what is it?"

Anders was pleased that she liked it. "It's made with some of the herbs you got over at the Gallows." He gave a slightly half-hearted, disapproving look but Allison just laughed.

Anders still couldn't believe all of the trouble she'd gotten herself into in just a few days. A trip to the Gallows, running into Cullen of all people, and then The Blooming Rose with Isabela! He shivered at the thought of what _could_ have happened to her.

"I think you'd better rest today." he said sternly.

Allison knew that Anders was thinking about her recent escapades so she didn't argue.

"I will. But what about trying to find those locations you researched?" she asked.

Anders put the soup she had made the night before on the fire to heat up.

"Well, if we're going to spend some time together then it can wait a bit right?" he said with charming quirk of the lips.

Allison knew that she was beaming like an idiot but his attitude made her happy.

"True." she agreed happily.

The tea Anders made did help her headache and she felt more refreshed. Anders made a notation in his notebook that the herbs were effective. It made him feel better that he was able to do some good even if it was after the fact.

There was a knock at the door and Allison scampered back to the bedroom since she was still mostly undressed.

Anders cast a wistful glance at her legs as she disappeared and opened the clinic door.

Max, a Ferelden who worked in the Foundry District was leaning on the doorjamb, his hand over his chest. His skin was covered in black soot and a deep cough made him shake.

Anders put a supporting arm around Max and helped the man over to one of the cots.

"What's happened?" Anders asked as he helped the man to sit down.

Max's skin was splotchy and he was having trouble catching his breath.

"I've been feeling poorly for a while now Healer, but last night I was up coughing and some black stuff came out. I didn't know what to do Messere." Max gasped.

Anders shifted Max so that he could lie down and then put his hands on his chest, seeking out the cause for Max's malady with his magic. Anders had a feeling it was because of working in that blasted foundry. The conditions were appalling but a Ferelden was lucky to find work anywhere in Kirkwall.

Anders' expression became grim as he visualized a dark substance coating Max's lungs. It was causing inflammation and impeding his breathing.

"Max, I'm afraid that the smoke from the foundry has damaged your lungs. I'm going to try and heal it but it's going to be draining for you alright?" Anders explained.

Max coughed violently but nodded his consent. Anders helped him to relax and then began trying to draw the poisonous toxins out of Max's body.

Isabela opened the clinic door, carrying Allison's newly cleaned clothes and saw Anders concentrating fiercely on healing a rather rough-looking man.

Knowing that it wasn't good to interrupt the mage while he was working like that, Isabela walked quietly to the bedroom and opened the door, not bothering to knock.

Allison was reclining on the bed, looking uncomfortable.

"Hello Precious, you look much better." Isabela observed.

Allison grinned and jumped up, hugging the pirate fiercely.

"Isabela! I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for taking care of my clothes and of me."

Isabela patted Allison's back affectionately. "It was no bother Darling. Beatrice was fascinated by your jeans but of course I couldn't tell her where to find them."

Allison examined her shirt and her pants with a critical eye. When Anders had told her that Isabela was having her clothes cleaned, she had been sure that whatever methods people in Thedas used for laundry might at least destroy her shirt. Jeans were tough, they could go through a lot, but she hadn't been sure about cotton.

"They look great and it's really nice not to worry about how my clothes smell." Allison said with approval.

"Beatrice is a gem. You can't believe how hard it is to get blood out of a corset." Isabela said sagely.

Allison balked but recovered quickly. "I bet."

"How are you feeling? You look well. Actually you look delicious in that shirt." Isabela said with pursed lips.

"Oh shut up." Allison said with a laugh. "I feel much better. Anders made a tea that really helped and we had a good talk this morning."

"You're naked, wearing his shirt and all you did was talk?" Isabela said skeptically. "What a waste!"

Allison knew that her face betrayed her because Isabela's eyes started gleaming with amusement.

"You little minx! What did you do? Did he take you on the table?" Isabela asked with barely restrained relish.

"No! He didn't _take_ me at all." Allison cried and then checked her voice so Anders wouldn't hear.

She was comfortable enough around Isabela to get dressed in her presence and she felt more like herself when she had her normal clothes on.

"Well what then? You certainly shouldn't look so happy if nothing happened." Isabela said grouchily.

"He kissed me again but this time he didn't run away. And we decided to spend the time I have left here, together." Allison knew that she sounded besotted but what could she do?

Isabela sat on Anders' desk and crossed her legs.

"He kissed you did he? How was it?" she asked silkily.

"It was…have you ever felt your toes curl before?" Allison said.

Isabela grinned. "Mmm…yes. That's always nice. But you've got to get past kissing Dear."

"We said that we'd see what happens. Besides, I'm going to be going home soon so it's not like this is a forever thing." Allison replied, noticing that the realization of her words made her sad.

Isabela watched Allison silently, drawing her own conclusions, but she kept them to herself.

"Well, whatever you two think is best of course." Isabela said nonchalantly.

Allison looked wary but let it go.

"Now that I'm decent, I don't have to hide in the bedroom anymore." she said cheerfully.

"Anders has a patient. Poor sod looks pretty bad." Isabela warned as they walked out of the bedroom together.

Allison saw Anders listing slightly and she ran over to him, catching him by the shoulders to steady him.

"Are you ok?" she asked urgently.

Anders rubbed his forehead wearily. "Yes, I'm just tired. Can you help me sit?"

"Of course!" Allison grabbed a chair and lowered Anders into it.

The man he had been healing sat up slowly.

"Are you alright Healer?" he asked.

Anders forced a smile. He didn't want Max to worry; he needed his strength for himself.

"I'm fine Max. Please lie down and rest." Anders leaned close to Allison who was still hovering over him anxiously. "Allison, could you please get Max a cup of water?"

"Yes." Allison hurried and drew some water for the patient. After handing it to Max, she returned to Anders' side. "What do you need Anders? What can I do?" she asked.

"I just need to rest for a moment." he said. Pulling all of that soot and poison out of Max's lungs while healing the tissue and scars had been taxing on him.

Allison pursed her lips, stared at him and then put her arm around him, pulling him to his feet.

"C'mon. You're going to lie down for a while. No arguments." Allison ordered as she walked him back to the bedroom.

Anders was bemused at having someone taking care of him so he didn't argue at first.

"Wait, I need to look after Max until he's rested enough to go home." Anders began.

Allison had him sit on her bed. "Is there anything that he needs from you right now, at this moment?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

"Well…no but…" Anders said.

"Well nothing then. I'll watch him and make sure that he doesn't get up. How long do you think it will take for him to recover enough to go home?" she pressed, keeping a hand on Anders' shoulder so he wouldn't get up.

Anders was a lot stronger than her so of course he could of just gotten to his feet, but in truth he needed to lie down.

"Maybe two hours. Then he should be fine." Anders answered with a sigh.

Allison nodded and marched to the door, turning back to give him a severe look. "Stay there and rest!" She shut the door behind her.

Anders was bewildered but he obeyed, closing his eyes and eventually falling asleep.

Allison told Isabela that she'd see her later and then took a seat next to Max.

"I ain't never seen a lady like you before Miss. Where did you get those clothes?" Max asked studying her jeans with a puzzled expression.

Allison smiled. "I'm from far away and where I come from they're very fashionable."

Max shrugged. "Well, women don't usually wear trousers but what do I know?"

Allison snickered. "Why don't you rest? Would you like something to eat?"

Max looked as if he were trying not to appear too eager. Pride probably.

"I don't want to put you or the Healer out Miss." he said cautiously.

"It's fine. We have some soup leftover from breakfast; I'll get you a bowl of that." She rose, filled a bowl and grabbed a clean spoon. "Here you go."

"Thank you Miss! Thank you very much!" he said gratefully, practically inhaling the food.

Allison hoped that her sadness didn't show on her face. The man was starving. It wasn't right.

Max looked slightly ashamed as he handed the empty bowl back to her.

"Did you want some more Max?" she asked softly. He shook his head.

"No thank you Miss. That was the best meal I've had in a long time. Reminded me of my mum back in Lothering." he said, smiling at the memory.

Allison patted his hand. "Please call me Allison."

"Thank you Miss…Allison." Max laid back down sighing in contentment.

"I'll be here if you need me ok?" she said, putting a chair a few feet away where she would be near while she read one of Anders' books.

It felt good to help out like that. Anders needed someone to watch his back it seemed and there was no reason that she couldn't do that while she was there, Allison decided. She wasn't a nurse but she could provide support and make sure that Anders ate and rested when he needed to. It was the least she could do for him and it made her feel useful.

Allison watched the passage of the sunlight across the walls and floor and after a couple of hours she checked on Max.

His color looked good, at least what she could see under the soot and he said that he felt better than he had in a long time. He asked her to thank Anders for him when he woke up and she promised that she would.

Anders hadn't made a peep and it was after lunch time. Allison figured they could try out the jerky.

She opened the bedroom door as quietly as she could; remembering that Anders had taken care of her last night and probably hadn't slept much.

She walked inside and over to the bed.

Anders' poorly cut hair was still loose and bronze-gold strands fell over his face as he lay on his side. He was breathing softly and his face was very relaxed. He looked so young.

Allison knelt on the floor and took advantage of the opportunity to study him. She remembered the first time she had seen that nose and she laughed to herself.

Now she was used to it and in fact she found it attractive, at least on _him_.

Allison thought that Anders had what could be the most beautiful mouth she had ever seen. His lips were full but not too full and when he had kissed her they had been firm and gentle at the same time.

She had never been into facial hair but Anders' stubble was irresistible to her for some reason.

Allison looked around guiltily, as if someone was watching her, while she reached out to stroke Anders' face.

The stubble on his jaw and cheek felt rough but in a nice way. She wanted to brush her lips over it but she didn't. It was bad enough that she was caressing the man while he slept.

As soon as she thought it, Anders' eyes opened and one of his hands came up to clasp the one she held to his face.

He smiled.

"Waking up to the feel of your hand was an incredibly wonderful experience. I've missed just being touched like that…having someone just _care_…I missed it." Anders said softly.

Allison felt suddenly shy but she didn't pull away. Instead she continued to stroke his face.

"I like your stubble." she confessed and then laughed out loud at herself.

Anders chuckled and then removed her hand from his face, bringing it to his lips and kissing each of her fingers gently.

"Thank you for that Allison." he said simply.

Allison's fingers tingles where his lips had touched.

"You're welcome." she whispered.

Anders sat up and stared at her for a moment before rising and then helping her to her feet. He didn't say anything. He just grabbed a leather band and pulled his hair back into a ponytail.

Allison wondered if she had done something wrong but then he turned to her and took a hold of her hand, pulling her along with him.

Anders looked around the main room.

"Did Max go home then?" he asked.

Allison nodded. "I gave him some soup and he rested for a while. After a couple of hours he said he felt fine and he said to thank you."

Anders looked impressed. "You did well." he commended.

She shrugged. "You healed him; I just watched him and fed him. But, we make a good team huh?" she said, bumping him with her shoulder.

Anders laughed. "Yes, we do. I could get used to it."

The both got quiet at those words but the Anders shook it off.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked.

"Yes, that would be nice." Allison hesitated. "Are we walking around Darktown?" she said slightly scrunching up her nose and then feeling bad for doing it.

Anders laughed in earnest. "What is this? You don't find the aroma of sewage and body odor welcoming?" he teased.

Allison bumped him again and he pulled her to the front door.

"I was thinking that we would take a walk out to the water. There's a trail I know that most people don't use and we can take it down to the shore." he continued.

"I would love that!" Allison exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Good. The sunshine will do us both good and you can never get enough fresh air when you live down here."

They walked together for a while and then Anders came to a stop and pulled up a wooden covering on the ground.

"We're going down there?" Allison asked, peering into the dark underground.

"It's safe. This passage isn't used by the Carta and it leads to the shore. C'mon, there are torches down here to light the way."

Anders climbed down and then helped Allison. He grabbed a torch and they started walking. There wasn't much to see in the passage but the further they walked the closer the ocean sounded.

Allison got excited and picked up her pace. Anders laughed at her excitement but kept up easily.

At the end of the passage there was a ladder and Anders placed the torch in a holder on the wall, went up and pushed, opening another wooden door. Allison climbed up after him and he shut the door after them.

She could smell the sea and there were birds swopping back and forth over the water. The sun was bright and the breeze played over them. It was perfect!

"I come here sometimes to get away for a while." Anders said, looking out over the rolling surf.

"It's beautiful. I can't believe that it's right here when Darktown seems so…well, dark." Allison commented.

Anders nodded and took her hand again.

"There's a patch of grass that we can sit on over here." he said, leading her around the corner.

In a cluster of trees that seemed a mix of palm trees and shrubberies, was a thick blanket of green grass.

They sat down under the shade and Allison sighed happily.

"You look beautiful." Anders said in an almost shy voice.

Allison started, she was so surprised and Anders laughed.

"Why do look so astonished? You act as if no one has ever told you that before." he asked with a grin.

Allison flushed. "No one ever has."

Anders looked disbelieving. "No one? Not even your parents?"

Allison flinched. "My parents are dead. They died when I was four." She said in a stilted voice.

Anders caught her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That's horrible. At least I can remember my parents."

Allison moved her chin but she took his hand instead.

"Tell me about them…that is, if you don't mind."

Anders squeezed her hand, recognizing that she didn't want to talk about her own family.

"I don't mind. What do you want to know?" he asked.

Allison thought about it. "You seem happy when you've mentioned your mother. What was she like?"

Anders sat back against a tree and brought the image of his mother to his mind.

"She was beautiful. Not in a classic sense maybe, but she had a wonderful and kind heart and it shined through in her eyes." he said.

"Do you look like her?" Allison asked.

Anders seemed taken aback by her question. "What makes you ask that?"

"You have kind eyes too. I just wondered if you got them from your mother." she replied.

Anders felt humbled that Allison viewed him so. "I…yes, my mother's eyes are or were the same color as mine." He laughed in amusement. "I got her nose as well."

"I like your nose." Allison defended humorously.

"I'm glad someone does!" he retorted.

Anders' face grew serious. "My hair is like my father's however."

Allison could tell that the subject of his father was not as pleasant. "You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."

Anders' lips took on a grim turn. "He was sullen, unhappy man. We weren't well off and he always wanted more than what he had. It made him bitter and he took it out on my mother. The arrival of a son who ended up having magic was just the icing on the cake."

Anders thought back to the day he had discovered he had been gifted with magic.

"I remember playing in the grass outside of our hut one day when I heard my parents fighting. My mother wanted to leave the Anderfels and raise me in Ferelden. My father was a brute of a man and he wasn't going to leave his home." Anders took a deep breath, trying to control the emotions the memory brought.

"I heard a loud crash and my mother screamed. I ran inside and she was lying against the wall. Her mouth was bleeding. I cried out and ran to her. My father shouted at me to stop crying, and my mother gathered me in her arms telling me to hush, that she was alright."

Anders closed his eyes. "I remember looking at the swelling on her lips and wishing that I could make the hurt go away. Without thinking about it, I reached up and touched her mouth with my hand. I felt this warm heat travel from my chest, to my fingertips, to her lips. The wound closed. It was the first time I used magic. I didn't even know that I _could_. I just wanted to heal her and I _did_."

His eyes snapped open and angry hurt showed through.

"My mother gasped but she held me tighter. I remember her praying to the Maker not to take her child away. My father spat on the ground and stalked off. He was gone for a fortnight and when he returned he came back with Templars and a gold sovereign in his pocket."

Allison gasped, the scene playing out on her mind: A young, frightened boy with blond hair, clutching his mother while his heartless father sells his own son to the Templars!

Anders didn't notice her appalled expression.

"My mother begged them not to take me from her. She begged them to let her come with me. She offered to work in the kitchens at the Circle so she could be near me. They wouldn't let her but they let me take the pillow that she had embroidered while she was pregnant with me."

It took Allison several seconds to get her power of speech back.

"And you've never seen her again?" she whispered.

"The Anderfels are very far away and I don't even know if she's still alive. It's a very harsh land that's been ravaged by two Blights." he answered.

"Are you named after the place you're from, the Anderfels?" Allison asked.

Anders frowned. "I don't remember my real name. The Circle called me Anders and that's the only name I know."

Allison was shaken by his story. No one should be taken away from their family like that.

"I'm sorry Anders. What happened to you was hideous and you didn't deserve it. You're the kindest man I've ever known and you're very gifted. Your mother would be proud of you." Allison asserted with a sure voice.

Anders didn't know what to say to that. The thought of his mother being proud of what he'd done made him happy. He had never allowed himself to think of it before.

"Thank you Allison. That means a lot." Anders said sincerely.

Allison sat quietly, absorbing the sunlight and listening to the call of the birds as they dove over the water looking for fish.

She closed her eyes and laid on the grass which was soft. She could see the glare of the sun behind her eyelids and therefore she was startled when the light dimmed a bit.

Allison opened her eyes and Anders was leaning over her, an intent expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked. She couldn't decipher his feelings from his face.

Anders looked down at Allison as she lay on the grass. The sunlight made her skin glow and she looked lovely.

Anders couldn't verbalize what he was feeling at that moment. He had shared his past with her, a past that he avoided speaking about because of the pain it caused. But somehow, talking with Allison about it had made it better.

She had listened, _really_ listened, and in the end she had made him feel more peaceful about his mother. She had accepted him, and he could sense her sympathy. If either of them had a kind heart, it was her.

Anders brushed his lips softly against Allison's, giving her chance to pull away if she chose. She didn't, and Anders increased the pressure on her mouth. Allison seemed to understand what he wanted and she opened to him. He felt like he had been given a gift.

Anders threaded his fingers through her hair as he tasted her. Maker! He didn't think he would ever get enough of tasting her!

In this position, Allison was able to wrap her arms around Anders and as she felt the feathers of his robe she giggled.

Anders paused in kissing her, looking slightly peeved.

"What's so funny?" he asked incredulously. _He hadn't lost his touch had he_, Anders wondered.

Allison tugged on his robe. "How can you wear this thing outside in the sun like this?"

Anders raised one eyebrow and then his lips quirked mischievously. "Are you trying to get me out of my robes?" he asked with false modesty.

Allison laughed. "Not for the reason that you're implying, but yes. Wouldn't you be more comfortable?"

Anders began unfastening the buckles on his robes while Allison observed, curious as to how the garment came off.

"That's what _all_ the ladies say. Then they take your chastity and run off." he teased.

Allison burst out laughing, enjoying this side of Anders' personality.

Anders removed his robes and put them aside. Allison was still laughing and he captured her mouth again, catching her off-guard.

She caught his shoulders to keep from falling over and then her hands found the muscular plane of his chest through his shirt.

Despite the lack of food, Anders was well-formed. It was a sleek strength and it was real, not like guys who worked out in gyms. Anders' muscles felt like the kind men got when they worked.

They were both sitting up, their knees touching as they kneeled on the grass.

Anders shifted and lifted her to straddle his lap. She knew that this wasn't exactly taking it slow but she felt closer to him after hearing his story.

She untied the laces on his shirt and caressed the skin on his chest directly. Anders made a sound that she thought was one of enjoyment.

Anders kissed Allison's neck, feeling her pulse beating quickly against his lips. His hands molded themselves to her hips over her jeans and he thanked the Maker that she was wearing something so form-fitting. Because she was wearing trousers, her legs were able to wrap around his hips in the most delightful way.

Anders felt dizzy with lust but he couldn't stop touching her. Her hands were in his hair again and her fingertips felt so good against his scalp.

He wanted to touch her more intimately but it felt like it was too soon. The fact that he was even _thinking_ ahead to a future time showed that there had been a fundamental shift in their relationship. There were…possibilities now, and even Justice was staying quiet, at least for the moment.

As it was, Anders tightened his grip on Allison's hips and pushed; just enough for her to feel what she was doing to him.

Her head came up quickly, her eyes were glazed and Anders felt a strange possessiveness come over him. He was glad that he was the one to put that looked of dazed sensuality on her face.

He kissed her again and then he took her hand and kissed her palm.

"If we don't get back I'm going to end up doing something that we're not ready for yet." he said, only half kidding.

Allison tried to shake the stupor that had come over her but her skin was so heated that she couldn't think straight.

She had never experienced anything that equaled to simply _making out_ with Anders, and they had kept their clothes on the whole time!

Anders grinned and helped her to stand. He collected his robe and put it back on.

Allison watched him, feeling her heart starting to return to a normal beat.

Anders turned to her and put his hand out. She took it without hesitation.


	13. Chapter 13 Through The Looking Glass

***Your reviews are helping me so much! Thank you all!***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 13 – Through The Looking Glass

As Anders and Allison returned to Darktown through the passage, Anders cautiously brought up the subject of Allison's parents. He knew that she had avoided talking about it earlier but he had shared his past with her and it didn't feel right knowing that she was keeping some pain about her own to herself.

When they had embraced, Anders had felt free of the weight on his shoulders and his heart. It was a feeling Anders would never forget. He wanted to get closer to Allison, and not just in body.

Squeezing her hand in support, Anders broached the subject.

"Would you tell me what happened to your parents?" he asked quietly.

He immediately felt Allison stiffen but he rubbed his thumb over her hand in soothing circles.

"Please? I shared my story with you and I would like to know you, to understand you." he pressed.

Allison felt her stomach clench in stress but Anders was right. Besides, it wasn't a big deal and she was an adult now.

"I haven't always lived in Seattle." she began, feeling her throat tighten. "We lived in a place that had mountains and snow. It was beautiful. I would wake up in winter and every tree would be shimmering when the ice crystals reflected the sunlight." She paused and Anders squeezed her hand again.

Allison put her emotions aside. "It's not a cliché story. There was no skidding on the ice or anything. We were driving home one night; it had snowed pretty hard the day before." Allison thought vaguely that Anders would have no idea what "driving" was so she added, "In my world, there are vehicles that people use for transport. They're made of metal and they have four wheels that propel you where you want to go while you steer."

Anders goggled. "That's incredible! You surely have no need of magic if such contraptions exist." he concluded.

Allison nodded and continued. "We were driving under a heavy cover of trees. I was six and as an adult, I don't know what my father was thinking but, a heavy tree branch came down on top of the car. It crushed the roof and killed my dad. The car went out of control and my mother was killed too."

Anders stopped walking and they were illuminated by the torch he carried in his other hand.

"You were there, with them? You saw this happen?" he said, horrified.

Allison felt nothing when she answered him. "Yes. There was a lot of blood but they both died right away so that was something."

Anders cupped her chin and looked into her eyes searchingly. There was a careful blankness about her expression that spoke of years of burying the feeling associated with this tragedy.

"You don't mean that." he said. "I can see that it hurts you. No child should see their parent die in front of them! It's alright to _feel_ Allison."

Anders put the torch in a holder in the wall and then hugged her close to him. He stroked her hair but Allison said nothing. She didn't even return his embrace. Instead she stepped away.

"I'm fine. The whole thing taught me a lesson anyway. People can be taken away in a moment. You never know when it can happen so you have to be prepared." she said matter-of-factly.

Anders just stared at her. "That's a harsh lesson for a child." He knew that from experience. "What happened to you after the accident? Did you live with family?"

"No. I didn't have any. I went into a group home which worked out well because that's where I learned to cook. So, everything turned out fine in the end." Allison's smile was brittle.

"Allison…" Anders said but she cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I wasn't beaten or starved. My parents just _died_, that's all. Let's go!"

She started walking and Anders grabbed the torch and hurried after her. In his mind this was far from over but he wasn't going to push her now.

The stench of Darktown was a punch in the face after the clean beauty of the shore. It made things seem even more depressing. And when they returned to the clinic, Anders had a line of patients waiting for him.

Allison assisted where she could, fetching herbs and poultices, or getting water or cloths. Anders healed each person with only a few able to give him a few coins in return. Even then he tried to dissuade them but the few patients who could part with it refused to let him go without payment.

Still, after healing nearly ten people, Anders had maybe fifteen silver coins. He put them away in a folded up cloth that he kept in his drawer. He tried to keep some money hidden in case he had to run someday.

"Here." Allison said from behind him and she handed him what looked like shriveled up meat.

Anders pondered the food for a moment, a little wary of it. "Uh, is this the jerky that you spoke of earlier?" he asked.

Allison smirked. "Yes, and don't look so scared. You're a Gray Warden, be brave."

Anders bit into the hardened meat and broke off a piece. The texture confused him but the flavor was good. After a moment of silent chewing, he smiled. Allison looked pleased as she ate her own piece.

"What an interesting idea!" he praised.

"It wasn't mine." Allison explained. "People from my world have been doing that for a long time. But thank you anyway."

They ate in companionable silence and Anders found himself wondering that they were able to do that so comfortable. It was like she had always been there.

Allison yawned and Anders told her to turn in early.

"I'm going to go to The Hanged Man to talk to Isabela and Varric about travelling to one of the locations I found. You should get some rest and we can talk about it tomorrow." he said, grabbing his staff from the corner and a satchel from the table.

Allison looked taken aback and Anders wondered what he had said.

"Oh. So… you want to go soon?" she asked slowly.

He understood then.

He walked over to her and kissed her just long enough to ease her doubts.

"I'm not trying to get rid of you. We'll take all the time you want but I think that we should know what we're dealing with, and just how complicated it may be to get you home." Anders frowned. "Don't forget that this is just a _theory_. I don't know what we'll find when get there, or if this is actually the way that you got to Thedas. We need to investigate, alright?"

"Alright. Sorry. I just thought that maybe… you had changed your mind or something." Allison muttered, completely embarrassed.

Anders lifted her chin and grinned rakishly. "Sweetheart, I'm not _remotely_ ready to let you go yet."

Allison smiled happily but was at a loss as to what to say. Anders spun her around and pushed her towards the bedroom. It was already early evening.

"Go to bed and we'll talk in the morning." He gave her another gentle shove to get her moving.

Under the light of the moon Anders made his way to the Hanged Man. He knocked on Varric's door which was opened by Isabela.

"Hello there Anders. What are you doing here tonight? Is Allison with you?" Isabela asked looking behind him.

Anders stepped inside and closed the door. "No. I told her to get some rest while I spoke to the two of you about taking a trip."

He spent the rest of the evening explaining his theory and going over the location on the map he had brought with him.

In two days Anders, Allison, Isabela and Varric would make a trek into Sundermount, one of the "weak spots" Anders had uncovered in his research.

The idea was that if they're journey was successful, Allison would always know how to get back home and she could stay with Anders for a while. If not, they would keep trying to find a way.

Anders returned home after their conversation, slipping into bed quietly so as not to wake Allison.

He went to sleep with a dual mind. Part of him hoped that their trip would be rewarded. The other part of him didn't want to think what it would be like to come home and not have Allison's presence there anymore.

Anders pushed the negative thoughts away and hoped that he would dream of her that night.

Two Days Later…

Allison had packed her bag with food and filled the water bottle she had brought from home with water from the well. She was again glad that she had been wearing jeans when all of this happened as the trip into the mountains would have been harder in other clothes.

Varric, Isabela and Anders were equally loaded down with Thedas versions of backpacks containing supplies, including tents as it would take several days to get to the cave and back to Kirkwall.

At first their journey was light-hearted, with Varric telling tales of legendary monsters and heroes, sprinkled with details that Allison had to believe were false. She laughed, she gasped, and she fretted. All in all, Varric was an excellent storyteller.

The morning that they left Kirkwall, the weather was sunny and there was a pleasant breeze blowing; it couldn't have been better for walking. As the afternoon turned into evening, the stars started to come out and the air became a bit crisper but it was still nice out.

For dinner, Varric took his crossbow Bianca and came back with a few rabbits. Allison looked away while Isabela skinned them and then gawked when Anders started a fire in the pit with his fingertips. It was different than his healing magic and she was still getting used to it.

The meat cooked over the fire and Anders went into more detail about their destination. He pulled out the map he had drawn by hand.

"Sundermount is full of strange places that have been touched by the Fade and by magic. The place we're going was the site of a battle long ago between blood mages and elves. According to my research, the Veil was torn because of the amount of power used in the fight and it's been weak ever since. There were reports of strange phenomenon floating in the air. We'll see if it's anything like what you saw." Anders explained.

Varric looked a bit nervous. "And what if the Veil is torn there Blondie? Don't bad things come out of it?"

"Yes, but we're armed and I'm sure that if it were really dangerous we would have heard reports about it in Kirkwall from travellers or the Dalish." Anders said with confidence.

Isabela sharpened her daggers with a flint. "I'll remind you that you said that when we're being chased by abominations."

Allison shivered. "Is that possible Anders?" she asked anxiously. She was in no hurry to see any of the weird creatures that the others had spoken of.

Anders smiled and rubbed her shoulders. "Don't worry. You'll be safe; I won't let anything happen to you."

Varric fluttered his eyelashes. "Will you protect me too?" he asked in a high-pitched voice.

Allison laughed. "I don't sound like that." She objected good-naturedly.

"Hey, it's the best I can do. With this much chest hair I can't pull off a falsetto." Varric argued.

Anders shook his head and turned back to her. "I really don't think there's anything to worry about Allison. I believe that this cave is deserted and that no one, magical or otherwise has been there since the account was written."

Allison wanted to believe him so she tried to push the uneasiness away.

They ate dinner and she had to admit that it was very good considering the lack of spices. Anders seemed to especially enjoy it and she enjoyed watching him.

The group put blankets down on the ground, getting as comfortable as they could. Anders laid down close to her, at her back and Isabela slept in front. Varric took up a position where he could get to high ground to shoot arrows if needed.

Allison saw herself surrounded by people that a month ago she hadn't known existed but that in a short time had become her friends. She sat up, needing to say something.

"I want to thank all of you for doing this." she said with emotion. The others sat up as well. "You barely know me and yet you've come all this way to help me find a way home. I just want you to know that I truly appreciate how kind you've been, and that I know you don't have to do any of this. Thank you so much."

Allison felt awkward afterwards but Anders smiled at her warmly.

"You are so cute when you're embarrassed!" Isabela said in amusement, lying back down.

Varric saluted with a grin and laid down again as well.

"Sleep well." Anders said and Allison curled up on the blanket, trying to block out the anxiety of not knowing what was to come.

Morning dawned brightly and they woke to the sound of birds.

Because they had camped at night, Allison hadn't gotten a good look at their surroundings. She could now see varied kinds of trees and greenery growing between large rocks and boulders. She could still smell the sea and Allison wondered if there was anywhere in the vicinity of Kirkwall where you couldn't.

Isabela led her to a small stream where they could take care of their morning needs. Allison was reminded of a camping trip she had taken during a weekend in college but that now seemed like a stay at a luxury hotel compared to this.

She washed her face, tried to straighten her hair and ate some mint. It was odd that she had a routine even in this backwards place.

They headed off in the direction that Anders said was north which took them in a steep uphill climb for a good fifteen minutes before it leveled out again.

"Are you alright?" Anders asked her with a concerned look.

Allison grinned despite being slightly out of breath. "I'm fine. I like walking and I'm really glad that I was in shape before I came here."

"You certainly are." Isabela commented from behind her and Allison rolled her eyes.

"I heard that." Isabela said.

"I'm sure you did." Allison retorted. "It was a very _loud_ eye-roll."

In between the various inclines, Anders and Allison spoke. He told her about the Circle in Ferelden, including some interesting stories about the Knight-Captain, Cullen that she had met.

It seemed that Cullen had been a wide-eyed optimist with a good heart before a tragedy had occurred at the Circle during the last Blight. From what Anders told her, a powerful mage had gone rogue and summoned all sorts of terrible creatures. The Knight-Captain had seen many of his friends killed in front of him and it had changed him. Now he was known for keeping a rather firm and unyielding hand on the mages in the Gallows and he was strict with the Templar recruits as well; training them to deal with situations like the one he had been unprepared to face.

Allison thought about what Cullen had been through. "I can see why he's so serious about his duties. How could he not be affected by seeing his friends murdered by monsters?"

Isabela groaned. "Now you've done it."

Varric sighed but kept quiet, while Anders scowled.

"It doesn't give him an excuse to treat mages like animals!" Anders disagreed.

Allison considered his statement. "I only met him the one time but he didn't come off as a monster. Does he treat the mages badly?" she asked.

"Don't encourage him!" Isabela hissed.

Anders' scowl deepened. "Mages being imprisoned is treating them badly. He doesn't have to beat them to abuse them!"

"So you know for a fact that he abuses them? He's changed _that_ much from the young man you slightly respected?" Allison asked persistently.

"He doesn't abuse them in that way. But he supports the imprisonment of mages. I have heard that he's fair and not quick to suggest the Rite of Tranquility as some of the other Templars are, but he's still a part of the problem." Anders insisted stubbornly.

Allison became curious. "So the Circle and Templars do no good whatsoever? No mage ever uses their powers for evil?"

Anders growled. "I'm not saying that. I'm saying that they go too far!"

Allison nodded. "So the Templars _do_ serve a purpose, but like all people with a measure of power, many of them abuse it, just as some mages abuse their powers." she concluded.

Anders opened his mouth and then closed it again. Varric chuckled merrily.

"Well look at Denim, holding her own in the endless debate." the dwarf complimented.

Allison didn't want Anders to feel bad and miss her point. "I'm just saying that it sounds like mages like you should get together with Templars like Cullen and work out a better way to train mages and weed out the bad ones."

Isabela snorted. "The day that Anders sits down with a Templar for a purpose _other_ than burning him to a crisp, I'll run around Hightown topless in an Orlesian peacock hat!"

Varric harrumphed. "You'd do that anyway Rivaini."

Anders was thoughtful. "I wish it were that easy, but you do make a good point. It's hard for me to remember that the Circle serves a purpose as do the Templars; at least when it operates well. Not all Circles are as bad as the Gallows."

Allison was pleased with his allowance of that because it bothered her to see him so full of hate. She took his hand while they walked and he rewarded her with a quirk of his lips. At least he wasn't mad at her for speaking her mind and she was glad for that.

By midday they reached the cave marked on Anders map.

Anders stopped at the entrance and turned to her, his expression more serious then she had ever seen it.

"Just because I think it's safe in there doesn't mean that we aren't going to be careful. I want you to stay behind me at all times, no matter what. Do you understand?" When she nodded he continued, still urgent. "Varric will stay behind you to protect your back and Isabela will take the front."

Allison felt the shift in the group's attitude as they took up their positions, with Allison staying in the middle.

Anders changed his grip on the staff he carried, readying it like a weapon. Allison wasn't sure how a mage used a large stick but she hoped that need didn't arise.

The cave was fairly dark but parts of the rocky ceiling had fallen which let some of the sunlight come in to illuminate the space.

Allison found that she had no trouble staying close to Anders because the scenery wasn't very welcoming.

It seemed that even the stones in Thedas were weird compared to the ones back home. The shapes were odd and there was a feeling that people had lived there even though they were long gone.

There was an odd dripping sound that incessantly followed them as they walked and the walls looked very moist.

The cave sloped downwards as they explored and the air became chillier as well.

Allison saw Isabela kneel down to examine something and the woman made a sound of triumph.

Anders and Allison approached with Varric following and Allison saw a pile of skeletal bones with tattered clothing clinging to them.

Isabela was holding up a dusty pouch that clinked with what sounded like coins.

Isabela grinned and tucked the pouch into her pocket. "Nice!"

Allison was horrified. "You're going to take that!" she screeched. "But he's dead!"

It was Isabela's turn to roll her eyes now. "Exactly; he's _dead_. He doesn't need it anymore."

"But…but…" Allison sputtered. "It seems so disrespectful."

Isabela got rose and brushed the dirt off of her hands. "The rule is: if they're dead, we get their stuff."

Anders tugged on Allison's arm. "Come on, let's go."

The further down they went, the more the cave formation changed. The stones seemed to take on different colors and there were strange growths coming out of the ground. Sometimes Anders would stop to collect them and Allison learned that they were things he could use in healing or that they could sell to vendors back in Kirkwall.

They came to a long passage and Anders paused suddenly. Everyone looked at him expectantly and Allison saw his eyes flash blue for a brief moment. She knew that meant Justice was doing something but she wasn't sure if the spirit was coming out or not.

Anders' eyes returned to normal and his expression became excited.

"Justice can feel a shift in the Fade up ahead. We're close!" he said moving forward more quickly.

Around the corner, the passage gave way to a large antechamber. The four companions stopped at the mouth of the room and gaped.

There were strange flashes of light that crackled like lightening floating in various spots in the air. Some of these bright spots were quite high and some were within reach.

They walked carefully into the room to observe one of the occurrences up close but stayed a few feet away from the nearest phenomenon.

The air crackled with some unseen energy and it made the hair on Allison's arms stand up. Isabela felt it too as Allison saw the pirate rub her arms absently.

Varric rubbed his chin. "Does anyone else feel that creepy tingling?"

Allison, Anders and Isabela nodded. Anders turned to Allison.

"Does this feeling seem familiar? Was it like this when you came to Thedas?" he asked.

Allison thought back to the clearing. "No, not really. In the woods there was heaviness to the air and then strange noises." She thought harder. "It was like part of my brain instinctively _knew_ that something was off and was drawn to it. This is different. I can feel an energy here but it's more like a crackle and there's no sound."

Anders approached one of the cracks, putting his hands up hesitantly in front of it. He could feel strange vibrations coming from it but he had never encountered anything like it before. He stepped closer and he felt Justice warn him before a bolt of light reached out to him and touched his hand. Everything went dark.

Allison cried out as she saw Anders crumple to the ground and without thinking she ran to him.

"Allison wait!" Isabela yelled but it was too late.

The same light that had touched Anders curled around Allison as she kneeled next to him and the fell across his body, unconscious.

_Allison felt oddly light, like her head wasn't quite attached to her body. It wasn't a terrible sensation but it was unnerving._

_She sat up slowly and wondered why the cave had taken on such a strange sheen. Then she realized that she wasn't in the cave anymore and she remembered running over to Anders when he collapsed._

_Anders! Where was he?_

_She scrambled to her feet and turned around to see Anders standing with his back to her._

"_Anders?" Her voice sounded strange, like an echo._

_He turned around and it wasn't Anders, at least not completely._

_His eyes burned with a fierce blue light and his skin was coursing with the same light which travelled all over him. His posture was different as well. He tilted his head like he was puzzled but his expression was empty._

"_**How did you get here?"**__ the voice boomed._

"_That depends on where "here" is Justice." Allison replied, studying their surroundings._

_The colors were shifting shades of pastels and muted tones and it almost seemed like the air was alive. It looked as if they were outside in a large meadow. There were wooden benches and tables scattered about and there was a stream of water running nearby._

_Allison paused and realized that there was no sound though. The water ran silently and there were no birds or animals or anything._

"_Where are we?" she whispered._

"_**This is the Fade. My home. I never thought to see it again, apart from Anders' dreams."**__ Justice answered. His voice was still strong but he sounded almost wistful and less severe than when they had last spoken._

"_This is the Fade?" Wow! I thought it would be more…well, more something." Allison said, still looking around._

"_**The Fade can take on many shapes and forms. When a mortal dreams, it is the wishes and thoughts on that one who shape the world of the Fade."**__ Justice said._

"_So, whose mind shaped this? Mine or Anders? Of course, I don't go to the Fade when I dream." she said, answering her own question she thought._

"_**Neither. This is a fixed point in the Fade. Anders is not dreaming but he was pulled into this place as were you apparently."**__ Justice said._

"_Is he ok?" Allison asked._

"_**His body is well and his mind is aware of what has happened."**__ Justice assured her._

_Allison looked up at Justice nervously. "Can he come out?" she asked._

_Justice didn't seem to notice to hope in her voice._

"_**No. When we are in the Fade like this, I am in control as I am a spirit. This is my domain."**__ Justice said firmly._

_Allison sighed. "Ok. So what do we do? How do we get out of here?"_

_Justice gazed about for a moment. __**"The portal that brought us here has closed behind us. We must find another way. Come!" **__he ordered and Allison followed not wanting to get left behind in this place._

_They walked in silence for a while but Allison was too curious to stay quiet._

"_So, you used to live here huh?" she asked politely._

"_**Yes, though not in this specific place. It is good to feel the weightlessness of the Fade in my mind. The mortal world can be too heavy at times."**__ he said._

"_Yes, I think it can be that way for mortals too." she agreed._

"_**True. Anders feels that way often, even though it is less since your arrival."**__ Justice offered._

_Allison's eyebrows went up but the spirit did not see._

"_I'm glad to hear that. It's hard to live when it feels like the world is going to crush you with unhappiness." she said. "Does that mean that you don't hate me anymore?"_

"_**I do not hate you. I hate none except those who inflict injustice and abuse on others."**__ Justice replied in a slightly haughty tone that made Allison smile._

"_Good to know." she said with a quiet laugh. "So, when you lived here, what did you do with your time?"_

"_**From time to time mortals would wander into the Fade. If they were honorable, I would guide them in their journeys. I spent much time speaking with my brothers and sisters as well."**_

_That got Allison's attention. _

"_Your brothers and sisters? You have family?" she asked in surprise._

"_**They are not of flesh and blood as you would think of it, but yes. My fellow spirits, spirits of Fortitude, Valor, Love and Faith. They are my family, though not as close to me as I am to Anders."**_

_Allison was speechless, trying to grasp several new concepts at once._

"_That sounds amazing Justice! To be able to live with people who embody the very best qualities in life would be very special!" she said, her voice a little awestruck._

_Justice seemed pleased by her reaction._

"_**It was a great honor to be surrounded by such virtue, yes." **__he agreed. "__**That is why it I so hard to now be surrounded by the immorality of mortals. It pains me greatly to see their avarice, their selfishness and greed!"**_

_Allison considered his viewpoint for a moment._

"_Yes, I can see how that would be awful for you. I'm really sorry that you lost your home Justice." she said softly._

_Justice stopped walking and looked down at the small mortal creature beside him._

_She gazed up at him with open and honest eyes. He knew her honesty from seeing her through Anders' own eyes. She never said what she did not mean, and therefore he knew that her sympathies were sincere. _

_It was strange that such a frail creature would show such feeling for a spirit who had been less than kind to her and it bothered him to think of the way her had treated her._

"_**You remind me of my sister, a spirit of Grace."**__ He said suddenly, and started walking briskly again, uncomfortable with such niceties._

_Allison didn't think that anyone had said something so beautiful to her before. A creature that actually knew what Grace really was, thought that she reminded him of it? Wow. _

_Allison was bemused as she quickened her pace to keep up with Justice._

_There was shift in the air again and Allison felt her stomach quiver with nerves. Justice came up short and put a hand out to restrain her._

"_**There is evil here. Stay behind me!"**__ he urged._

_A form curled up from the ground in a haze of smoke that was bitter to her nose. Allison gaped as a misshapen creature with lumpy features attempted what she could only assume was a smile. It was hideous! Allison shrank closer to Justice's side, clutching at Anders' robes with her fingers._

"_What is it?" she whispered, frozen with fear at the sight. The creature came closer._

"_It __**is a demon of Pride. A loathsome, pathetic being that feeds on the mortal desires for prominence or power. Do not speak to it; it will only lie to you."**__ Justice said with disdain._

"_Know you so little of your own kind Brother?" the creature hissed. "Pride can come in many forms that go beyond the mere wish for power." _

_The creature leered at Allison and she was overcome with a sense of foreboding and menace._

"_Stay away from me." she said, wishing that she sounded more forceful._

"_**Begone demon! We will not consort with your kind!"**__ Justice bellowed._

_Allison could feel the raw power coming off of Justice but it wasn't directed at her. She shivered nonetheless but stayed close to his side._

_The demon smirked. "I will not waste my time with you, Spirit but what of your lovely friend?"_

_The staff that Anders normally carried with him suddenly appeared in Justice's hand. The ground cracked as he struck the earth with it._

"_You will not trifle with her, Fiend!" Justice roared._

_The creature tsked. "Shame on you Brother. The mortals must make their own choices in this place. You know this to be true."_

_Justice growled but he shifted to a less aggressive stance, looking resigned._

_Allison was alarmed at the change and tugged on his robes._

"_Why are you acting like that?" she hissed._

_Justice looked down at her and his expression was almost gentle. It was jolting because it reminded her of Anders but the eerie blue light made him seem more intimidating._

"_**Mortals are tested in this realm. You must make your own decisions here; I cannot make them for you."**__ Justice explained._

_Allison was exasperated. "What decisions? What are you talking about?"_

_The evil creature slithered closer. "My Brother speaks of my offer." It contemplated her briefly. "You are different from the others but I can see what you desire." Another smirk. "Your ailment embarrasses you. You feel humiliated when others see you jerking about, helpless on the ground and many have run from you because they are ashamed to be seen with someone who makes such a spectacle."_

_Allison gasped in horror but at the same time she flushed with embarrassment. How did that…thing know that?_

"_Can you read my mind?" she asked._

_The creature grinned evilly. "Your mind is partially shielded from me but I can see enough to know what you want."_

_Allison scowled. "And what would you know about what I want?" she sneered._

_The abomination cackled. "You want what all mortals want. You want to be able to hold your head up with confidence. You want to be whole, with no infirmities. You want friends. You want…" the voice drifted off as the creature considered Justice standing there and then its eyes lit up in delight. "You want the host of this body! But you're afraid that your weaknesses make you unappealing to him. How wonderful!" it purred._

_Allison didn't think that she could get any warmer, having her insecurities flung in her face like this._

"_What's your point?" she asked with a glare._

_The creature seemed pleased with her question but she felt Justice stiffen, though he said nothing._

"_I can give you what you want. You no longer need to suffer humiliation and castigation." it said._

"_And how would you propose to do that?" she asked, annoyed with the conversation._

"_I can remove your malady." _

_Allison thought that her heart stopped beating for a moment before it picked up double-time._

"_What!" she breathed._

"_That's right child. You can be well and no one will be frightened of you ever again." The creature promised._

_Allison looked up at Justice, confused. "But…Anders can't heal me. How could this thing do it?"_

_Justice looked grim. __**"By taking over your body. You would give it a willing host and in turn it would control your mind. It is possible that by this…joining, your illness would disappear."**_

_Justice turned towards Allison, feeling an urgency he could not explain. "I cannot stop you from dealing with this demon but I can tell you that you don't have to listen to it. They always lie and they give nothing without taking everything from you. Anders would…I do not wish to see you lose yourself this evil."_

_It was so disconcerting to see Anders looking at her like that but to know that it wasn't really Anders. But Justice seemed truly concerned and she believed his warning about the creature. She believed that he didn't wish to see her do something that she would regret and there was no way in hell that she was giving her body to this thing!_

_Allison gave the creature an unwavering look._

"_Go to hell. Or if this place is it, stay here and rot!" she spat._

_Allison felt pretty good about her counteroffer but she quickly lost that confidence when the demon roared and started glowing with its own energy._

_Justice stepped in front of her, twirling the staff and something flew out of it._

"_**You have your answer! Begone!"**__ Justice bellowed and whatever had come from the staff hit the creature and set it on fire._

_Allison didn't hesitate when Justice pulled her away. She could hear the cries of pain and anger behind her and she just wanted to go home._

"_**You handled the Fiend bravely Allison, I am impressed." **__Justice commended__**. "Mortals with more knowledge of the Fade than you have given in to temptation, especially in the face of having a sorrowful condition reversed."**_

_Allison didn't feel like celebrating. "I want to leave this place Justice. Can we go home please?" she begged. "It feels like death here."_

_To her astonishment, Justice put his arm around her waist and led her quickly down a road that ended with what looked like a brick wall. He paused and held his hands up, speaking words that's he could not hear._

_Suddenly the brick wall ripped like paper and Allison could see Isabela and Varric on the other side. They were kneeling next to her body and she was lying on top of Anders._

"_**Go."**__ Justice ordered._

"_Go where?" she balked._

"_**Through the opening. It will take you back to your body."**__ he said._

"_But what about Anders?" she asked peering at the image through the opening._

"_**I will return as well and he will awaken. Go!" **_

_Justice gave her a little push and Allison felt a void of air before the ground disappeared beneath her._

Allison drew in a deep breath and sat up. Anders opened his eyes and blinked sleepily at her before sitting up himself.

"Anders?" Allison asked cautiously.

He smiled. "It's me. You were amazing in there!"

Allison threw her arms around his neck and held on for dear life. She couldn't even speak; it seemed like the creature had left some sort of taint on her.

Anders stroked her hair and rocked her. "It's alright. It's over. That creature won't come near you, he's gone, I promise. You were wonderful."

Allison felt a hand rubbing her back and Isabela spoke from behind her.

"What happened to you?" she asked

Anders answered. "We were pulled into a part of the Fade. Justice came out and they met a demon, but Allison told him to go to blazes. She was incredible."

"It was so evil Anders." Allison said in hushed tone. "I could feel it prodding at me and I'll never forget its face! It was _wrong_, it was so wrong there!"

Anders grasped her shoulders so he could look into her face. She wasn't crying but she was in shock. He could only imagine how it would feel for someone like Allison to be exposed to a demon for the first time. But she had been strong and she had not been deceived.

He cupped her chin, in a way that was now familiar to him. He kissed her for several long seconds before releasing her.

"You did what many have failed to do. You stood up to a demon that made you an offer that could have cured you. I'm so proud of you." he said softly and kissed her again.

Varric laughed. "Who knew that the Fade could be so romantic? It's a shame dwarves don't go there when we sleep."

Isabela winked at him and stood up. "Maybe we should get you two back to a room?"

Anders helped Allison to her feet. She felt stiff like she had been sleeping a long time.

"How long were we…gone?" Allison asked.

Varric shrugged. "About an hour."

Allison couldn't believe it. "An hour?"

Anders took her hand. "Time moves differently in the Fade."

Allison supposed that made sense. It was the same thing when you dreamed.

"Now what?" she asked, staying far away from the lights. "That wasn't anything like what happened to me."

Anders frowned slightly. "We keep researching. The Fade is broken here but I don't believe this is what brought you to Thedas."

Isabela pointed to a passageway. "There's another room over here. Let's check it out."

They stayed out of reach of the phenomenon and made it out of the chamber without incident.

There was a long set of stairs leading even further down and they picked their way along carefully. Another wide chamber greeted them and it seemed to get Varric excited.

"Do you see this?" he asked, pointing to some kind of metallic cluster on the ground.

Isabela knelt down to study it. "What is it? Is it valuable?"

Varric looked put out. "This is orichalcum and yes, it's valuable."

Isabela took out a small spade and dug the substance up, wrapping it in cloth and putting it in her pack.

"Let's see if there's more like that!" she said, happy to have found something worth money.

Allison leaned over to Anders. "How do I know what to look for?"

He grinned. "If it sparkles, it's valuable."

"Oh. Ok." she nodded and let go of his hand to start looking around in corners.

Anders watched Allison search the cavern and he felt his heart contract.

When they had been in the Fade, he had been submerged while Justice took over. He could still see and hear what was going on but the sensation was a bit murky. When the demon had appeared Anders had been frantic to get back so he could protect Allison, but Justice was too strong in that part of the Fade. When he was sleeping it was different. It was almost as if he and Justice separated for a time. He could enjoy his dreams and Justice could enjoy the Fade for a while.

Today had been quite different and he had no wish to repeat the experience anytime soon.

Until they had encountered the strange lights, Anders hadn't been sure how he would feel if they found a way to send Allison back but now he knew.

He didn't want her to leave.

His feelings were confusing to say the least and when he could have actually used Justice's help in sorting his emotions, he sensed that the spirit was just as baffled as him.

Allison had shown considerable bravery in standing up to the demon and Justice respected her greatly for her fortitude. Justice was a spirit of the Fade after all, and when he sensed the qualities of his kin in others it moved him. Allison had moved him. And now the spirit was trying to figure out his own feelings.

Anders dug deeper, intrigued by what Justice was going through and found himself shocked that Justice was recalling the feel of Allison touching his arm through his robes when the demon appeared. Justice then replayed the moment when Allison had asked to go home and Justice had felt an inexplicable need to put his arm around her, so he had. And he had liked it!

When that realization surfaced Anders got a strong message from Justice to leave him alone and Anders did the best that he could to give the spirit some privacy.

It seemed that they were both altered after what had happened.

Allison was busy looking for something shiny when a sound caught her attention.

She lifted her head but no one else seemed to notice it. It sounded like…music?

It was faint but as she moved to the far side of the cavern, it grew louder. Her head felt heavy but the music was so pleasant that she followed it anyway.

There was a crack in the floor and on the other side Allison saw what looked like a red vein travelling up the rocky surface of the wall.

The music was coming from there. She took a few steps and her head whirled.

_I have to go to it_, she thought hazily.

Her foot came to the edge of the crack and the ground started shifting under her feet. Pieces of rock began to crumble from the ceiling and the floor shook. The crack split and the floor tilted.

Anders spun around when the noise began and he saw the floor beneath Allison's feet part.

"Allison!" he cried out, running to the other side of the room.

He tried to grab her arm but the floor gave way and she screamed as she fell.

"**No!**" Anders leapt into the cavity and grabbed Allison by the waist.

They tumbled into nothingness at first but then Anders saw the ground rushing to meet them. At the last second he threw a force field around them.


	14. Chapter 14 The Mysterious Song

***TWO chapters in ONE day! This one is short but necessary. You'll see later…***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 14 – The Mysterious Song and A Surprise

Allison braced herself for the impact but it never came. Instead she kind of bounced before settling gently on the ground.

Anders had his arm wrapped tightly around her and she felt him sink to the ground as well.

A bubble of energy shone around them and Allison saw that Anders had a hand extended outwards. He looked as if he were concentrating and she realized that he had protected them during the fall by using magic.

"Wow." she whispered.

"Hmmm?" Anders looked puzzled.

She shook her head a little dazed. "That's just really cool; the magic I mean. You just…poofed and we were safe." Allison realized something else. You saved my life. That fall could have killed me!"

Anders blushed because Allison was looking at him like he was a hero and no one had ever done that before. It made him strangely shy.

"It was nothing. Here let me help you up." he offered.

Allison took his hand and looked around to where the floor had caved in. They were in another large cavern but before she could take in the details the music started again but much louder. She actually clapped her hands over her ears to drown out the noise.

"What's wrong?" Anders asked in startled voice. He tried to pry her hands away so he could examine her but Allison resisted him.

"Can't you hear it?" she said is a loud voice as if speaking over a noisy crowd.

He was still pulling on her hands. "Hear what?"

"The music!" she yelled. "It's everywhere!"

"There's no music. Let me help you." he said, finally getting her hands away.

Allison kept her eyes closed tightly as if she was trying to ignore something.

Isabela and Varric looked over the edge of the floor above them.

"Are you two alright?" Varric called.

"Yes, we're fine but Allison says that she can hear music. I don't understand it." Anders called back.

Varric grabbed robe out of his pack and tied one end to a column in the upper room.

"We're coming down!" he yelled and he and Isabela began to shimmy down the rope.

Anders placed his hands on Allison's face and tried to sense what was happening to her.

There was a strange buzzing in his head when he sent his magic searching and immediately it was repelled like when he tried to help her after one of her spells. Anders pulled back at the sensation.

"What the…" he muttered.

Varric hopped down and Isabela landed next to him. Varric marched over to Allison and patted her back.

"Is it like that day in the market kiddo?" he asked.

Allison looked surprised and then became a little calmer.

"Yes, yes it is Varric. It's that same music but so much _louder_ this time. I heard it up above when I saw those red veiny-looking things on the wall before I fell." she replied, trying to look around her.

The red veins were here too but more so and there were also clusters of glowing red patches on the ground.

Pointing to those patches Allison asked, "What is that?"

The others looked over and both Varric and Anders whistled. Isabela just looked confused.

"That, Denim, is raw lyrium." He turned to Isabela. "You wanted valuable Rivaini? You've got it!"

Isabela's lips curled up in anticipation of profit. "Really?"

Allison needed her Thedas dictionary again and she was trying to ignore the music.

"I remember lyrium, so what makes this special?" she asked.

Anders answered her this time. "All of the lyrium potions in the world have to be made from raw lyrium Allison. Lyrium isn't just for runes and Templars. Mages can drink a potion in a crisis if they run out of mana." He looked around the glowing cavern. "The raw lyrium in this room could make hundreds of potions."

Allison started to speak but the music got louder again and she grunted with pain.

Anders held her face again. "I can't help you with magic but listen to me and try to breathe." he said. "Tell me what's happening."

Allison took deep breaths. "It's like hearing a song turned up really loud and it's everywhere. I can't get away from it no matter how hard I try."

Anders thought for a moment. "Then don't try. Listen to the song and see what happens, don't fight it."

Allison didn't like the idea. "What if it gets worse?"

"There's a rope. If I have to I'll sling you over my back and get you out of here. But I think that we should try to understand what's happening to you." he replied.

The volume abruptly went up in her head and Allison cringed. Anders took her hands in his and squeezed.

"Just breathe through it and listen. Shut everything else out; don't worry about us and just listen." he repeated calmly.

Allison gripped his hands; the pain in her head was getting worse. There was nothing to lose so she stopped fighting it.

At first it was noisy confusion and Allison wasn't sure how to sift through the static. The word static triggered an idea and oddly, Allison felt like a part of her mind that she wasn't aware of unfolded.

_Think of it like tuning in a radio station back home, _she thought_. _At once she started moving through the various sounds, like she was searching for a frequency. That thought was even better and her mind started seeking out the right channel.

_There, in the distance! The right song._

Anders watched as Allison's brow wrinkled in concentration. It was like watching mage trying to form a complicated spell for the first time. He didn't sense any magic in her though. It was baffling.

Allison relaxed her body and let her mind go where it wished. The song became more clear and the background noise dampened to a muted afterthought.

"I've got it." she said softly, a little out of breath.

Anders still held her hands. "Good. Now do you feel like you should do anything? Is there anything to indicate what you should do?"

Allison listened hard but focused only on the one song. The pain in her head receded and she felt herself being drawn to another place in the room.

She pulled her hands away from Anders. He didn't want to let her go but she was drifting almost unconsciously towards a cluster of lyrium. He let go of her hands but followed closely.

Allison walked with her eyes hut until a humming began to join the song. She opened her eyes and found herself staring at a large deposit of raw lyrium.

Even though Anders was standing right there, it never occurred to him that Allison would reach out to touch the lyrium. In its raw state it drove humans and elves insane. Even mages could not touch raw lyrium dying. Only dwarves were able to handle the substance until it was refined.

Because he was thinking like someone who had lived in Thedas his whole life, he didn't react to Allison's movement until it was too late.

Varric's voice joined his as her fingertips touched the formation.

"No!" they both yelled.

Anders instinctively reached out to knock Allison's hand away but Varric was fast and knocked Anders aside bodily instead.

"Blondie that will kill you!" Varric shouted.

Anders pivoted expecting to hear Allison cry out but he was stunned to see her probing the lyrium with no apparent ill effects.

Varric was just as surprised. "Well I'll be a nug's uncle."

The lyrium felt warmer to Allison's hands but not unpleasant, and it seemed as if touching it had soothed the noise. The song was a gentle hum now that was rather comforting.

She turned around to see them all gawking at her. "What?"

Anders blinked. "What? What! You're touch raw lyrium! You should be curled up on the ground drooling by now!"

Varric was already recovered from the shock. "How do you feel Denim?"

Allison shrugged. "Much better now actually. Touching it made everything feel less intense. It feels…right somehow."

Varric dug into his pack and pulled out what looked to Allison like a small pick. "Here, take this. See if you can break up some pieces."

Allison took the tool and tapped the red cluster gently. The lyrium came loose and she was able to gather several large pieces. Varric took out a rough cloth and she wrapped the lyrium inside and put it in her backpack.

Feeling satisfied and much less agitated, Allison grinned at Anders. "Well, I'm glad the painful part is over."

Anders just shook his head. "Amazing."

He started to say something else but his head suddenly snapped around, his attention drawn to an opening in the cavern.

"Darkspawn!" he hissed.

The atmosphere changed and Isabela, Varric and Anders moved automatically to stand in front of Allison.

She didn't know what to do.

"Anders?" she said hesitantly.

He whirled around. "Stay behind me and no matter what, do not move! You can't let them touch you, do you understand?" he said urgently.

She nodded, scared out of her mind. Anders had told her stories about the darkspawn from his Warden days. She thought that they were all gone now that the Blight was over and the remaining ones had been chased underground…_Oh_. _Underground. They were very underground right now_.

Varric readied his crossbow. "I do believe that we've stumbled on a thaig. Goodie!"

Isabela pulled out her daggers and spun them around, looking really badass and Allison felt completely useless. The best she could do was to not get in their way and pray that there weren't too many of these darkspawn.

Anders spun his staff, leaving one hand free to cast spells.

The first darkspawn came pouring through the entryway and Anders built a protective wall of rock armor around him. Flinging his hand forward he threw a fireball that enveloped the entire group of creatures. They fell to the ground screaming but another wave was already running over their corpses.

Allison watched as Isabela flitting in between the hoarde, appearing behind one and then disappearing only to stab another in the forehead. It was like she was dancing and Allison marveled even as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest.

Two more waves of darkspawn came running in and Varric sent a volley of arrows raining down on their enemies. At the same time Allison saw Anders gather some unseen energy to him and then thrust it out, knocking the remaining darkspawn down onto the ground. Isabela parried and spun, taking out some of the monsters that had been felled by Anders.

Frost seemed to gather on Anders' fingers and the next group of darkspawn was frozen in place. Isabela shattered them with her blades, but still another group came in. It was never-ending. Allison wished that she could help them but she was no fighter. She had never even gotten in a fight in grade school!

Two of the approaching darkspawn got past Varric's arrows and came at Anders. Many of the darkspawn seemed to be drawn to him.

Before Allison could even call out a warning to him, Anders whirled his staff around, using a wicked blade that she had never noticed on one end. He slashed one darkspawn across the chest and Isabela stabbed it in the back, and then quickly spun, taking off the head of the other.

Allison staggered back at the violence but she also couldn't believe what Anders was capable of in combat. He looked so…strong, so fierce! But it wasn't scary it made her feel…well, she didn't know _how_ it made her feel, only that her stomach trembled in a heated way.

Varric hit the last of them with another volley of arrows and she saw Anders relax, the rock protecting him, disappeared.

"That's all of them." he said with confidence.

Isabela and Varric went to search the bodies.

Anders turned to make sure that Allison was alright and found her staring at him with a look that he couldn't fathom.

He knew that she had never been exposed to such violence before and it must have frightened her terribly. But there was something more. Her eyes were very wide, and she watched him carefully like she didn't know him.

She had seen him use healing magic and a bit of fire, but she had never seen him cast the kind of spells he had just used. Was she frightened of _him_? Anders felt his gut tighten at the thought that maybe his magic had pushed her away after all. He tried to make his face form some sort of calm façade.

Allison took a shaky step towards him, confusing him.

"Are you ok Anders?" she asked.

He didn't understand how she could be scared of him and worried about him at the same time.

"Yes, I'm fine. Are _you_ alright?" he asked in return, not sure if he could handle her answer.

Allison took another step and reached out to grab him. She pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

She was…hugging him? Anders realized that he must have read her expression wrong. Perhaps he had been waiting for something about him to scare her away and he had assumed that this was it. But she was afraid of him she had been afraid _for_ him.

He pulled her against him and relished the feeling of her body in his arms. Her hair carried the scent of the sea and it made him happy.

Isabela cleared her throat. "I fought the monsters too. Can I get a hug?" she said with a pout.

Allison grinned and then surprised Isabela by grabbing her as well. She decided that Varric deserved a hug too.

As she let Varric go, Allison saw something out of the corner of her eye. A movement and very pale blue eyes.

A young boy who looked like a dwarf was standing in the doorway tugging on his tunic. He waved at her.

"Um, guys? Who's that?" she asked pointed behind them.

The all turned around and the boy waved again. "Hello." he said in a gentle voice.

"What in the _world_…" Anders said.

"Who are you?" Varric finished.

The boy didn't seem interested in answering them.

Isabela studied him. "He seems a little…slow."

Allison was watching the boy carefully and when Isabela said "slow", she could have sworn that she saw mischief in the boy's eyes.

Allison walked over to him slowly.

"Allison! What are you doing? You don't know who he is!" Anders said, making a grab for her but she dodged him.

She rolled her eyes. "Do you think he's worse than darkspawn? Look at him, he's so sweet!"

"How do you know?" Anders retorted.

Allison wasn't sure. "I just do."

She got down to eye-level with the boy and he smiled at her. There was nothing but goodness about his face and Allison felt sure that he was no danger to them.

"Hi. I'm Allison. Can you tell me your name?" she asked.

The boy giggled and fidgeted. "Sandal."

Allison grinned. "Sandal? It's nice to meet you. What are you doing down here all by yourself?"

"Enchantment." he said, but Allison didn't understand.

"What about enchantments?"

"Enchantment!" he said happily and pulled out some pieces of raw lyrium.

"Oh! You came here for the lyrium? Do you make enchantments?" she asked, feeling like she was starting to understand his mind a little.

"Enchantment!" he said with a nod and Allison laughed.

Thinking of the darkspawn made her serious again. "Sandal, how did you get past all of the darkspawn?"

Sandal frowned for a moment and then his face lit up. "Boom!"

"What the hell is he talking about?" Varric wondered out loud.

Allison shushed him. "Hang on! Sandal? Do you know how to get out of here?" she asked patiently.

The boy nodded and took her hand. "Nice lady." And he pulled her along after him. He was surprisingly strong.

Anders, Varric and Isabela grabbed their loot and hurried after them.

After walking upwards a while they came upon a pile of darkspawn that had been crushed by huge rocks.

"Boom!" Sandal said in explanation.

Varric nodded. "Boom indeed."

"He's handy." Isabela remarked.

Sandal took them around several passages until they saw the dimming sunlight.

Sandal pulled harder and Allison ran to keep up with him.

An old stone stairway brought them out into the open and back into the living world. Allison thought she might get down on her hands and knees and kiss the ground!

"Sandal, you're fantastic!" she cried and she hugged him.

The boy beamed and clapped.

"Sandal!" a voice called and the boy got even more excited. He grabbed Allison's hand again and ran along the path that went outside the large cave.

An older dwarf was looking around worriedly until he saw Sandal appear.

"Sandal my boy! Where did you get off to? And who have you found?" the man asked with a friendly smile.

"I'm Allison and Sandal just helped us get out of that horrible place." She reached out to shake the man's hand. "Is he your son?"

The man beamed proudly. "That he is Miss. My name is Bodhan and I see that Sandal has already told you his name. He doesn't usually talk to strangers so he must like you." The man chuckled. "And who are your friends?"

"I'm Varric Tethras and this is Isabela and Anders. Your son was very helpful." Varric bowed.

"I'm glad that he found you. He likes to wander off but he can usually take care of himself." Bodhan said with a wink.

"I'll say." Isabela added with a snicker.

Sandal tugged on Allison's shirt. "Enchantment?"

"Oh, I don't need an enchantment Sandal, thank you though." she answered.

Sandal frowned and for some reason Allison understood that wasn't what he meant.

"Enchantment." he said more firmly and pointed to her backpack.

"Oh! The lyrium? Is that what you mean?" she said, puzzled.

He nodded with a smile. "Nice lady make enchantment."

Allison shook her head, trying to understand what Sandal was getting at.

"I can't make enchantments Sandal." she said.

An oddly sage expression appeared on the boy's face and he nodded enthusiastically.

"Enchantment!" he repeated.

Bodhan gave Allison another look and this was more considering.

"My boy's got a gift for making runes and he's never wrong about this kind of thing. Of course you _are_ human." the man said thoughtfully.

Anders gazed at her too. "A human who can handle raw lyrium." he said.

Bodhan's eyes widened. Sandal giggled knowingly.

Varric quirked a brow. "Denim, are you _sure_ that you can't make enchantments?"

***How do you think seeing Anders fight makes Allison feel? I'm thinking that he looked pretty hot…***


	15. Chapter 15 Runes and Romance

***I have no idea how rune-crafting or enchanting works so I'm going to make it up. **

**Oh, and I wanted to say that Allison is not going to become some sort of powerful warrior all of a sudden. She's still a girl from Seattle so, we're keeping it real lol. **

**Also, Allison's looks aren't what you may be thinking. I've left them vague because I wanted people to be able to step into her shoes but I had to put in one detail here for conversational purposes. Bioware lets you make your characters look however you want which means lots of possible skin color/eye/hair combinations, so her hair is dark and her eyes are light but her skin color is up to you.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 15 – Runes and Romance

After the group returned to Kirkwall, Allison visited Bodhan and Sandal in their small but comfortable home on the outskirts of Hightown. Anders had a ton of patients waiting for him but he thought it was important for her to talk to someone who understood what was happening.

Bodhan fussed over having a visitor and Sandal took her over to his enchantment apparatus.

Using his hands, Sandal explained how he enchanted weapons. He took a short-bladed sword that had a square slot in the hilt. Then he picked up a rough stone that had a symbol carved into it. Allison recognized it as a rune stone like the ones she had seen at Worthy's shop.

Sandal placed the rune into the slot in the hilt of the weapon and Allison felt a whoosh, like a pressure being released. Sandal's hand pulsed with power and the rune snapped into the slot. The symbol on the stone began to glow with a bright green color. Sandal handed the weapon over to Allison.

"Enchantment." he said.

Allison had never held a sword before, even a small one and she knew that she looked ridiculous trying to make sure that she didn't cut herself on the blade.

Bodhan came in with a pot of tea. "I see Sandal showed you how to enchant a weapon. Why don't you try it out so you can see what the rune does?"

Allison looked around the room, with was furnished with several tables and a chairs as well as a stove.

"Um, where should I try it out at?" she asked, bewildered.

Bodhan walked over to the corner and pulled a sheet off of a stuffed dummy mounted on a wooden stand.

"Just strike the dummy with the sword and see what happens." Bodhan said cheerfully.

Allison felt silly as she approached the dummy. She gave the sword a slight swing which she knew looked pathetic. The point of the exercise was what happened to the target.

Where she had stabbed the dummy, a thick vine filled with thorns sprouted and quickly wrapped itself around the dummy's neck, tightening until the head popped off.

"Whoa!" she cried staggering back.

Sandal clapped. "Enchantment!"

Bodhan smiled. "That's my boy!"

Allison looked at Sandal, completely flabbergasted. "Sandal, I can't do what you just did."

Sandal smiled and took her hand, leading her to another side room. There was a desk covered in papers made of thin material that was see-through. On the floor was a box of stones that were shaped like either squares or circles. They had been roughly carved but the shapes were fairly uniform.

On the desk was an inkblot and pen but the ink was dark red.

Sandal brought another chair over to the desk and gestured for Allison to sit. Bodhan handed her a cup of tea.

"He's going to show you how to make a rune stone Miss." Bodhan explained.

"Please, call me Allison." she said, grateful for the tea. It was almost as good as Anders' blend.

Allison watched as Sandal pulled out a leather-bound book. He flipped through the pages, each of which had a different symbol on it and some small writing beneath it. He found the page he wanted and he pulled out a piece of the thin paper.

Allison thought it was like the tracing paper children used to learn to write their letters. She wasn't far off.

Sandal carefully placed the paper over the book and then dipped the pen into the red ink. A brief humming told Allison that the ink was made of lyrium.

Sandal looked up at her and smiled. "Song."

Allison gasped. "Yes, how did you know that Sandal?"

Bodhan explained. "They say that dwarves who work with lyrium can hear it sing. Since you can touch the stuff I imagine that you hear it too."

Sandal just giggled and went back to drawing. He copied the symbol exactly and as he worked, Allison could hear a soft melody in her mind. Remembering Anders' words in the cavern, she didn't fight it or try to block it out. The melody didn't bother her; it was like hearing the radio in the background while you did something else.

Sandal blew on the paper to help the ink dry and then he took a round stone out of the box, placing it next to the paper.

Sandal put the paper over the stone and because it was so thin you could see what the symbol would look like on the stone.

Sandal placed his hand over the paper and the rock and closed his eyes. Again, there was a feeling of pressure but now there was also a warmth emanating from the boy's hand.

Sandal's hand began to glow and pulse with energy. There was dull thud and Sandal withdrew his hand and pulled the paper away.

It was like an iron-on transfer Allison thought and Sandal's hand had provided the "heat" so to speak.

The symbol had been transferred from the paper to the stone with now bore a symbol in red. She looked at the paper and the symbol was still there.

"Is it reusable?" she asked.

Sandal nodded and Bodhan added, "For a few times until the ink loses too much power to be transferred."

"This is amazing! Sandal that was incredible. So, now you could take another weapon and put that rune in the slot and it would do…what?" she asked with enthusiastic curiosity.

"Hot." the boy said.

"Like fire?" she asked and he nodded. "You are really special, you know that?" Allison smiled widely.

Sandal laughed and handed her the book. "You."

Allison shook her head. "Sandal, I can't do that. You're gifted and I'm not even from Thedas. I can't make runes."

Bodhan patted her back. "Oh, give it a try. If my boy thinks you're up to it then you are."

"But what if I blow something up?" Allison squeaked.

Sandal clapped. "Boom!"

"No! I don't want a boom Sandal, that's my point." she said, scooting away from the table. Sandal grabbed her hand, stilling her.

He flipped to a different page in the book and pointed. Allison studied the symbol and then read the writing under it.

"A Tevinter symbol for ice. Runes with this symbol will imbue any weapon with the ability to freeze one's enemies on contact."

"Well that's simple and to the point." she allowed. "You want me to try this?"

Sandal nodded and handed her the pen and put a piece of paper over the picture. He nodded again.

"Sandal, I'm really nervous about this. What if I mess it up?" she asked a little desperately. "I'm a cook not a magician."

Sandal scrunched his face and then smiled brightly. "Poof." he said waving his hands in the air.

Bodhan started to explain but Allison wanted to try to understand Sandal herself.

"Poof." she muttered. "Poof, what does that mean." She thought of the question she had asked and his gesture when he answered. Sandal was not as slow as she bet some people thought.

"Are you saying that if I don't do it right, it will disappear? Poof?" she said, waving her hands in the air like him.

Sandal clapped, and she could have sworn he looked proud of her.

"So it's like a built in safety. If I trace it wrong, there's no danger because it won't work and I'll know it right away." she concluded.

Bodhan chuckled. "Look at you two, like peas in a pod! Go on lass, give it a try."

Allison dipped the pen in the ink and felt the hum travel up her arm, towards her fingers. It made her suck in a quick breath and Sandal's eyes grew wide.

"Ouch?" he said but Allison shook her head.

"No, it was just…different. I'm ok."

The ink was a strange consistency and it didn't drip which she was glad for because she was holding it over the paper terrified of what she was about to attempt.

The symbol showed very clearly through the paper.

_It's just like pre-school. Just trace it._

Allison ran her tongue along her teeth as she concentrated on following the flowing lines perfectly. The energy flowed steadily into her, from the ink to her mind and she could see sparks and images in her head.

Taking a cue from Anders, she didn't fight it; instead she let the energy flow through her and into the paper. Not concentrating so hard actually made it easier. It was better to just accept it and direct it where she wanted it to go.

_Wow!_

The tracing was done and her copy looked just like the one in the book.

"Well, I just drew a picture that a five-year old could have done and I'm really proud of myself." She laughed.

Bodhan laughed as well. "You should be proud, you did a great job."

Allison laughed harder at the compliment. She felt like she should get milk and cookies and go take a nap.

Sandal wasn't done with her yet. He picked up another stone, this time a square one and placed it on the table. He nudged her.

Allison followed his steps and blew on the paper first to help the ink dry. She put the paper over the stone but then was lost as to what was next.

"What do I do now though? When I watched you, you closed your eyes and it seemed like you were thinking about something pretty hard." she asked. She wasn't sure if Sandal had the ability to fully explain this part.

He seemed to mull it over for a moment, and then he touched the picture in the book and then her forehead. He took her hand and placed it over the paper and stone like before and then pushed his forefinger against her head again. He pointed back at the picture and then he pointed at the writing in the book. One more touch to her head and Allison thought she understood.

"I need to think about what I want the rune to do. In this case, it freezes things, so I need to think about that as I touch the paper. Is that right?" she asked.

Sandal grinned and hit the table with his hands.

"_Very_ good Miss Allison!" Bodhan said with amazement. "You understood him better than anyone has besides myself."

Allison felt a thrill of excitement go through her. "I can't believe I'm about to do this." She said under her breath.

Allison closed her eyes and thought of the symbol in the book. She thought about the purpose of the rune. Breathing deeply she felt the hard stone under her hand and the energy flowing into her. Her mind seemed to click suddenly and the idea became simple_. __**Cold. **__Think of cold._ So she did. She imagined things that were cold: snow, ice, winter, and Allison felt her hands tingle. The pressure around her changed and her hands seemed to freeze but it wasn't painful. She kept her eyes closed tightly and she felt a push of air come out of her hand. She pulled back automatically startled.

Sandal pulled the paper away and there on the stone was the symbol glowing blue.

Allison's hand tingled a bit and she rubbed it absently, hardly able to believe that she had just made a rune stone.

"That felt amazing! I could feel so much energy and then the cold…wow!" she sputtered.

Sandal clapped. "Enchantment!"

He hopped up and ran into the room with the apparatus. Allison followed.

She may have made a rune but what if it was terrible?

"What if you can't enchant with it Sandal? What if I didn't do a good enough job?" she asked nervously.

Sandal hummed and ignored her. Apparently he wasn't worried. He dug around inside of a chest and came back with a small dagger. The hilt was just big enough to fir one rune slot into it. The handle was silver as was the blade and there was some lovely scrollwork along the sides.

"That's too pretty to use if I messed up sandal." Allison argued.

The boy just continued humming. He placed the dagger on the apparatus and put his hand over it. There was that whoosh again and the rune went into the hilt.

Sandal grinned and handed the dagger to Allison.

Bodhan rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Try it out! Let's see how you did."

Allison stepped to the dummy and gingerly stabbed it, squealing like an idiot as if the dummy were real.

From the wound, ice poured out and completely encased it in seconds.

"Woohoo! I did it!" Allison hollered.

Bodhan and Sandal laughed.

"I don't believe it; that was so cool!" she cheered.

She had never experienced a rush like that before. She had made something magical out of nothing with just her hands!

"This calls for a celebration." Bodhan announced and he took a bottle out of the cupboard.

"Oh, I don't drink Bodhan." she said, feeling bad for ruining the mood.

"Neither do we Miss Allison. This is cider from an orchard in Ferelden famous for its apples!" he poured them all a glass and they drank it up happily.

Afterwards Allison tried to give the dagger back to Sandal, but he refused.

"He wants you to keep it Miss, as a gift." Bodhan said, clapping his son on the back.

"But you've been so nice. Sandal you taught me so much. How can I repay you?" she said, overwhelmed at their kindness.

"It seems to me Miss Allison that my boy doesn't get on as well with everyone like he does with you. Just be his friend." Bodhan asked humbly.

Allison grinned. "That's easy; he's remarkable Bodhan."

"I have an idea. Why don't you leave the lyrium that you collected today with us? We'll ground some of it down and make the ink and I know a dwarf who can refine the rest and you can make some money on it?" Bodhan suggested.

"Bodhan, you're so kind, thank you!" Allison said and hugged him. Sandal came up to her and joined the hug, making her laugh.

Bodhan grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote some instructions. "Go the gallows and find this merchant. He'll have the paper and pens you'll need as well as a book with the symbols in it. You should study them and when the ink's ready you can try out your new skills."

Bodhan pushed her towards the door gently. "Go on, it's getting late and your friends will be wondering where you are. I'll send a messanger to the clinic when the ink's ready and the payment for the lyrium has been received."

"Thank you. I'll come back soon to visit ok?" she said with a wave.

Sandal and Bodhan waved goodbye.

Allison needed to get over to the Gallows soon before it got dark so she could make it home before Anders sent a search party out for her.

Allison had always had a gift for getting around and she remembered where the boat was that took people across the way to the Gallows.

She sat with other passengers, almost bouncing in excitement at the idea of trying to make rune stones again. She couldn't wait to tell Anders what had happened and she had gotten a neat-looking dagger out of it as well. She just needed to be careful not to stab herself with it.

All in all it had been an amazing day, although she could have gone without meeting that disgusting demon!

She hadn't found a way home either and that thought made her more melancholy.

It wasn't over yet. There were other places to look, more research to be done. But she didn't want to find herself in the Fade like that again. It had been terrifying and the creatures that lived there were not to be trifled with. Of course she had gotten to know Justice a bit better and that was good. She actually liked him when he wasn't all judgmental and harsh.

The boat ride didn't take long and Allison stepped off onto land. It was only as then that she realized where she was. Again.

_Anders is going to kill me!_

It was best if she got in and got out as soon as possible, before she tripped over another Templar.

Allison noticed quite a few people in mage robes standing around with a marking on their foreheads. She knew from Anders that these were Tranquil. Their gazes were empty and when they spoke the tone was monotone and completely void of life or feeling. She was horrified.

That was no life and it seemed inhumane to put someone through that just because they were a mage. Of course, after meeting a demon for the first time, she could understand the fear of someone coming under one's power but there had to be another way to keep people safe. Besides, the demon had been interested in her and she wasn't a mage, so what about other people with no magical talent.

She guessed that a mage combined with a monster would be a dangerous thing though. Still, seeing those empty faces in the Gallows made Allison sick. She wouldn't wish that on anyone.

To her left, Allison saw a woman huddled, her hand upraised, begging.

After the disturbing sight of the Tranquil Allison felt the need to help somebody so she dug into her pockets and pulled out some copper pieces, dropping them in the woman's hand. Her grasp on Thedas economics wasn't great yet but the woman seemed happy.

Bodhan had drawn a diagram of the Gallows, showing her where to find the merchant. The dwarf was in a corner area surrounded by mounds of paper and various pens and rocks.

"My name is Umbar. Can I help you Miss?" he asked in a friendly manner.

"Um, yes. I need some pens and some tracing paper for runes." she said.

The dwarf looked puzzled. "Buying for a friend Miss?" he asked.

"Um, no. It's for me." Allison replied, not sure at all if it was ok to tell people that she could make runes.

"But you're human!" the dwarf scoffed.

"I know, but Bodhan sent me." she answered, feeling anxious. She didn't want to hang around any longer than necessary.

The dwarf looked surprised but Bodhan's name had the desired effect. "If you say so Miss. How much do you need?"

Allison had no clue. "Uh, well how much is paper and pens?"

"The pens are two silver each and the paper is five silver for fifty sheets." he explained.

Allison still had money left over so the price was fine. "Do you have this book as well?" Allison showed him Bodhans' note.

The dwarf look incredulous but he pulled out a leather book from his supplies. "That's fifteen silver Miss."

Allison paid the man and got her change, putting it in her pocket. He wrapped her purchases up and handed them to her.

"Are really intending on making runes Miss?" Umbar asked.

Allison felt a little defensive because she could tell that the man thought she was nuts.

"I've already made one, see" she said, pulling out the dagger with was in a sheath now.

Umbar studied the rune stone carefully and whistled. "This is good work. But you're human; how did you do this?"

There was no way that she could explain it. "I'm weird like that." she said, thinking that it had become more true since she came to Thedas. She took the dagger back. "I've got to go. Thanks Mr. Umbar."

Umbar nodded. "I've got another book you may be interested in Miss. I'll bring it out from storage. Come back and see me some time."

"I will!"

She spun around and heard a husky laugh.

"We seem to have a predilection for bumping into each other." Knight-Captain Cullen said. "I was hoping to see you again Milady. Are you well?"

Allison knew that she was looking about as intelligent as she had the first time she had met Cullen so she tried to get a grip.

"Yes, I'm good thank you." Allison scrambled for something polite to say. "And you, Knight-Captain?"

His smile was warm as were his eyes. "I am quite well thank you…Miss?"

She swallowed hard. "Allison, just Allison."

He bowed. "And I am Cullen, _just_ Cullen, if you please."

Allison nodded nervously. _I have to get out of here!_

"Well, I have to get back. It was nice to see you." She could have smacked herself. It wasn't that she didn't want to be friendly, but she didn't want Cullen to find out that she was staying with Anders. Being a Gray Warden may be a protection but there was no need to tempt fate.

"Wait!" Cullen said, catching her arm and then dropping it immediately. He blushed. "Please, forgive me. It's just that you ran off when we last met and I have wondered about you."

Allison laughed. It sounded a little off. "Me? Why would you wonder about me?"

_Because you look like you don't fit in idiot!_

Cullen verified her own thoughts. "If I may be so bold, you stand out Lady Allison."

She wasn't sure what he meant by that because his expression confused her. He must have seen her chagrin because he smiled again.

"I don't mean that as an insult. On the contrary, your uniqueness comes from your fairness." he added.

That just served to confuse her more as she wasn't fair-skinned.

"I'm not that light Cullen so I don't get what you mean." she said with a frown.

He frowned as well and then blinked. "I wasn't speaking of your skin Milady but of your…" he blushed again. "Comeliness."

Allison's mouth _did_ fall open then. "Oh! You meant fair as in pretty right?" she laughed. "Sorry, I'm not used to speech like that."

Cullen looked surprised. "Then surely you have not been around men with eyes."

Allison wasn't sure what to do. Her lack of experience with men was a hindrance now because she almost thought that he was hitting on her but she wasn't sure in this strange place.

A thought occurred to her. "Is this a courtly thing?"

When Cullen raised an eyebrow, she explained.

"I mean is this one of those times when a knight says something gallant to a woman to be charming but he's not really serious?" she asked with a sincere smile, thinking that she had figured it out. Her stance relaxed.

Cullen's lips quirked into a half-grin. "I do not say things that I do not mean Lady Allison. And I am quite sincere in my admiration of your qualities."

"Just Allison, not Lady." she mumbled absentmindedly. "And what exactly would you know about my qualities. You've seen me exactly two times." she said holding up two fingers.

"I meant no offense. A Templar is trained to observe people. I have observed you, and you are kind to those less fortunate. You treat vendors and nobles as equals and you have earned the friendship of a well-regarded dwarf." he commented.

Allison was shocked. "What? What do you mean, "A well-regarded dwarf"? Are you talking about Varric?"

Cullen nodded. "Varric has a reputation for being respectable and honest. Many in Kirkwall trust him."

Allison was abashed. "Why do you know about Varric?"

Cullen had the grace to cough and he blushed again. "I checked him out after we met." He hurried to explain himself. "You said that you were new here and I wanted to make sure that you hadn't been conned by someone who was out to hurt you."

Allison wanted to be angry but how could she be when Cullen had just been concerned.

"Well, that was very nice of you Cullen. Varric is a good friend and I'm safe with him. But…thank you for your concern." she stammered. She had an amusing thought of seeing Varric's face when she told him that he's considered respectable.

Cullen smiled at her obvious discomfort. "May I see you home Allison?"

Allison wasn't sure what to do. He could not be allowed anywhere _near_ the clinic but it would seem suspicious if she said no again.

"Um, I'm not going straight home. I'm going to the Hanged Man first." she adlibbed.

Cullen looked taken aback but then he offered his arm. "Then I will escort you there, if you will honor me."

Allison had the novel experience of taking a knight's arm and felt lightheaded. This day was just too much!

They took the boat back to the mainland and Cullen escorted her through the city. He kept looking down at her so she tried to think of something to say.

"So, you're a Templar." _That was brilliant!_

Cullen chuckled. "You say that as if it's a bad thing."

Allison wasn't aware that she had been that transparent. "It's _something_. I'm not sure how I feel about it to be honest."

"You are concerned with the so-called plight of mages then?" he asked in a serious voice.

Allison felt the need to be careful. She wasn't sure if being pro-mage was a crime.

"That depends on how much trouble I would get in for being truthful." she countered.

"You are in no danger from me. There is nothing wrong with talking." he replied.

"Then yes, I am concerned. I'm…not familiar with the way things are done here and it seems…harsh to lock people away for being born different." she said carefully.

Cullen didn't respond immediately, instead he sighed and closed his eyes; a slight tension creasing his features.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly.

"I'm thinking that I'm tired of being the villain. We are barely acquainted but already you view me as a tyrant. I can tell." he said. His voice was frustrated.

"No I don't. I've heard that you in particular, are known for being less…severe in your treatment of mages." Allison said. She had no desire to insult Cullen. He seemed nice enough.

"Am I?" he said tiredly. "That's something I suppose. People have no idea what it's like to be a Templar."

"So tell me." Allison said.

Cullen obviously hadn't expected that response. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts.

"We are just as much prisoners as the mages are. Every moment of our service we must be on guard. On guard for any sign of corruption, on guard for a knife sinking between the plate of your armor." he sighed again. "I have no desire to spend my life in the Gallows, but the people _must_ be protected from mages."

"Why?" she asked. Cullen looked confused so she repeated herself. "Why must people be protected?"

"Andraste knew the danger mages pose better than anyone. Magic should be used to serve man, not rule him. It's unnatural for anyone to have that much power." he stated with conviction.

"Then why do they have that power?" Allison asked.

"What do you mean?" Cullen said with a frown.

"If it's unnatural, then why did your Maker give them the power in the first place?" she said.

Cullen blinked. "It…I don't know but it's being misused."

"Oh." she nodded. "So, you believe that the Maker _does _give mages their powers but you're frightened of it at the same time."

That got Cullen's back up. "I am _not_ frightened. Though, if you had seen what _I've_ seen you would be loathe to sleep at night."

Although she knew the story already from Anders, Allison wanted to hear it from Cullen.

"What did you see?" she asked gently.

The Knight-Captain paled a bit. "I saw good men lose their lives to those that they trusted. I saw mages turn their bodies inside-out until there was nothing but piles of putrid flesh all around me. I heard screams that could drive a person insane and haunt your dreams until you died."

Cullen went red then. "I lost many friends that day and I learned that mages **cannot** be trusted."

Allison considered her words before she spoke. "I'm so sorry Cullen. You went through something horrible, and evil and I'm very sorry."

Cullen seemed to collect himself. "I…thank you. It is fine. I am over it."

She doubted that, but she kept that to herself.

"May I ask how _you _survived?"

Cullen's eyes took on a faraway look as he remembered. "I had been trapped in magical barrier. Demons tried to tempt me with thoughts of…I was sure that I was going mad but a friend…a Gray Warden and her companions freed me."

"They managed to get you out of a magical barrier?" she said, impressed.

Cullen grimaced. "Two of them were mages. One became the Hero of Ferelden and the other teaches at the College of Magi."

Allison planted her feet firmly on the ground, making them come to a stop. She pulled away from him.

"You were rescued by two _mages_? Two _mages_ came to help you? You, a Templar; when they could've left you there to rot? Are you kidding me?" she asked, incredulous.

Cullen looked embarrassed. "I never said that _all_ mages were evil, just that they cannot be trusted."

Allison's eyes narrowed. "It seems to me like you want to believe what's easier. It's easier for a Templar to believe that mages need to be locked up and made Tranquil when they step out of line, than it is to remember that your friend was a mage and that she saved not only you but your entire country!"

Allison started marching down the street angrily and she heard Cullen rush after her. He grabbed her arm to still her but she yanked it away.

"I'm sorry Allison. I…it's not that I don't remember. I remember all too well, and I cannot forget what happened because of Uldred!"

"So you would punish every mage because of something a few evil people did?" she retorted.

"Mages aren't people! Not like you and I." Cullen snapped.

Allison blinked several times and stepped away from him. "I'm sorry you feel that way. If you devalue someone I guess it makes it easier to treat them like objects doesn't it?"

She began walking again but Cullen called out after her.

"Wait! Please, don't walk away. I'm sorry I snapped like that. It's just…it's very difficult for me to talk about what happened. I still wake up sometimes hearing my friends being tortured. And I could do nothing to save them. I cowered, trapped like an animal while they died. I…it changed me I suppose." Cullen said, his eyes beseeching.

"I understand. That would change anyone. But can you honestly say that _every _mage is evil or that every mage would do what that Uldred did? Are all mages objects that need to be taken from their families and locked up? Can you tell me that not _one _Templar ever harms a mage for no reason?" she asked.

Cullen sighed. "It's not a perfect system, but it's all we have."

"If you know that things could be better than why don't you try to help?" she said.

Cullen was stumped. Her thoughts were not unreasonable. He knew that there were Templars who abused their power, though he was quick to strip any he found out about of their rank and commission.

"I…it's not that easy." he said.

Allison rolled her eyes. "It's _never_ easy but it has to start somewhere. You're the freaking Knight-Captain. **Do** something!"

She turned and started for the Hanged Man, not caring if Cullen followed or not. She was fighting mad and slightly sick of the conversation. All of that prejudice and hatred on both sides for no reason!

She felt a hand on her elbow though he was gentler this time.

"Please, let me take you the rest of the way. You have given me much to think about." Cullen pleaded.

Allison stopped and Cullen extended his arm again, looking earnest.

She sighed and placed her arm in his again, slowing her pace.

"I can't say that you've changed my mind, but your words come from a place of wisdom. It's good to get an outside point-of-view sometimes." Cullen said, trying to keep the peace.

Allison heard his effort and tried to calm down.

"I really can understand why you're so cautious. You saw terrible things and I'm sure it's made you extra vigilant." she conceded.

Cullen simply nodded. "I must say that I found our debate exhilarating."

Allison laughed. "That's _one_ word for it."

Cullen cleared his throat. "I…would like to speak with you again, if you would allow me."

Allison's brow wrinkled. "Why?"

Cullen blushed. "I have enjoyed your company and I hope that I have not made you angry with me."

Allison smiled a little. "You haven't made angry. I just think that there's fault on both sides, that's all."

"I can agree with that." Cullen said, returning her smile.

They came to the Hanged Man and Cullen opened the door for her.

There was music playing and Allison spied Isabela and Varric at their regular table.

_Thank God!_

Almost as if he could hear her thoughts, Varric glanced up and then did a double-take. He said something to Isabela and she turned around, gaping at first and then smiling like a cat who had found some cream.

Allison walked over to the table and put her package down.

"Hi guys. Um, Varric, you remember Cullen. Cullen this is Isabela." she said, making introductions.

Allison was ridiculously glad that Anders hadn't decided to take a break and come there.

Varric nodded a greeting. "On a first name basis now are we?" he asked with a loaded look.

Allison wanted to kick him.

Cullen bowed, though he flushed up to his ears when he took in Isabela's outfit.

Isabela grinned and Allison knew that she needed to get Cullen out of there before the pirate scarred the man for life.

"Cullen, thank you so much for walking back with me." Allison patted his arm, trying to turn him around. He was very big so she didn't move him far.

Cullen smiled that not-so-subtle warmth in his eyes again. "It was my honor and my pleasure." He hesitated. "You never answered my question though."

Allison was too busy watching Isabela uncross her legs in the most suggestive fashion to focus on what Cullen was saying.

"Huh? What question?" she said trying to block his view. _Was Isabela even wearing underwear today?_

"May I see you again?" Cullen repeated.

"Oh, sure. I'm sure we'll run into each other the next time I'm at the Gallows. I need to go back to a vendor there soon anyway." she said hurriedly, thinking of Mr. Umbar.

Cullen smiled and then took her hand which got her attention. He bent over it and kissed it. His eyes watched her expression and he stared at her for a long moment before straightening.

Allison was speechless and completely flustered. Isabela took advantage.

"I thought that you Templars boys were promised to the Chantry? Would Andraste approve of you wooing our little Allison?" Isabela asked, her lips curving in delight.

"Isabela!" Allison hissed.

Cullen blushed but looked Isabela directly in the eye. "You are a friend of Allison's?" he asked.

"That's right." Isabela said.

"Then I understand your concern. Please be assured that my intentions are pure." he said with great dignity.

Allison smacked Isabela on the arm. "See! There's nothing going on."

Cullen's next words almost made Allison choke.

"Templars can be granted a special dispensation to be married. It is rare but not unheard of. I would never bring Allison's character into question." His look seemed to say that he wondered if the same could be said about Isabela.

"You ok there Denim?" Varric asked.

Isabela giggled until it turned into a full chortle. "Priceless."

Cullen looked worried. "Allison you do look unwell all of sudden. Are you alright?"

Allison knew that she needed to say something but picking the right words out all of the ones spinning in her head was impossible.

"I'm…fine. I, uh…"she stammered.

Varric stepped in smoothly. "Allison is a little slow. She didn't realize that your intentions were so…serious."

Cullen abruptly understood. "Oh! Forgive me. I thought that I had made myself clear but obviously I had not."

Isabela had laughed so hard she had to cough. "I wonder what your friend will think Allison?"

Allison couldn't even respond to that but Cullen did.

"Is there someone else who has your attention?" he asked.

"Uh…I, well, he…um…" She didn't know how to answer that because she wasn't sure what Cullen meant by "attention".

Cullen caught her chin, bringing her face about. "Are you betrothed?"

Allison started. "Of course not!" she yelped.

"Forgive me again. I did not mean to insult you." Cullen looked pleased. "But, if you are not yet engaged, I see no reason why I should not let you know of my interest."

He smiled and kissed her hand again. "Until we meet again."

With a bow, Cullen walked out of the tavern, leaving Allison reeling.

Varric raised his glass. "I bet you wish you drank _now_."

***I don't plan on making this a cliché "two men want the same woman thing" so don't worry. I just like Cullen and I wanted to throw in some possible humorous mayhem. The Templars will play a roll later and Cullen will be involved.***


	16. Chapter 16 Inevitable

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 16 – Inevitable

Allison crept into the clinic, shutting the door quietly behind her.

She had hid out at the Hanged Man as long as she could, trying to process the day's events.

Demons, lyrium, runes and a crazy Templar who thought he should pursue her! What the hell was she supposed to do with all of that?

The clinic was empty which was good. It was late and it wasn't healthy for Anders to stay up all day and night taking care of people.

She wondered if he had eaten at all.

"Allison?" Anders came from the back, chewing a piece of jerky and she smiled. He had eaten something at least.

"Hi. How did things go today?" she asked, dropping her backpack on the ground and carrying her package over to the table.

"It was busy but good. A family had come down with a nasty cough but I was able to clear it out." he said looking tired but satisfied. "How about you? You were gone for a long time."

Anders didn't mention that he had missed her. Every time the door opened he had looked up hoping to see her. It reminded him of being a teenager in the Circle and hoping to catch a glimpse of girl you were sweet on. Of course, those had just been games, nothing like what he felt now.

Allison grinned. "You won't believe what happened."

Anders crooked an eyebrow at her sure statement. "Oh? Please, tell me. Your eyes are shining with excitement."

Allison clasped her hands together, feeling very proud. "I made a rune!"

"You what?" Anders gasped. "You…you made a rune stone? Just like that?"

Allison nodded. "Sandal taught me. Anders, it was the most incredible sensation! I could feel the power coming from the lyrium, right into my hands. I learned how to make the symbols and transfer then to the stones. I went over to the Gallows and bought some supplies until Bodahn has the ink ready for me and he's going to have the remaining lyrium refined and sold which will make us some money!"

Allison took a breath because she had been talking so fast. She smiled broadly but then noticed that Anders looked thunderstruck.

"You went back to the Gallows!" he cried.

Allison winced. "Um, yeah, about that…"

Anders crossed his arms over his chest. "What? Did you catch the attention of another Templar?" he asked sarcastically.

She winced again and Anders threw his hands up.

"Oh you have got to be kidding! Maker help me!" he shouted.

"It wasn't on purpose and it wasn't a different Templar, it was Cullen." she explained quickly.

Anders gaped at her. "Cullen! And just what did the noble Knight-Captain want with you?"

She really did not want to answer that particular question and Anders could tell.

"Allison."

"Gah! Ok. He walked me back to town and we talked for a while. I told him what I thought about the Circle, he told me what happened to him back in Ferelden. He took me to the Hanged Man and then…uh…he left." Allison nibbled her lip.

Anders caught the telltale action and his expression darkened.

"What exactly are you leaving out of that story?" he asked ominously.

Allison laughed nervously. "It's not a big deal."

"Allison, I swear, I will go to the Hanged Man right now and get it out of Isabela or Varric."

He would too, she knew it.

Allison stared at the floor because it was safer. There was no way that Anders was going to be happy that a Templar had shown interest in her.

"Cullen asked to see me again. I didn't understand what he meant at first and then Isabela teased him about Templars being single and he said something about being able to get a dispensation to marry…" The sound of Anders strangling cut her off.

"He what!" Anders shouted. "He actually thinks…he wants to court you?" Anders sputtered.

Allison wasn't sure whether to take offense at the tone of disbelief. When Anders just continued to stare goggle-eyed at her that pushed her over the edge.

"Is it so hard to believe that somebody finds me attractive? You don't have to have a stroke over it!" she yelled back.

"It's not hard to believe. I just can't comprehend why you would allow him to pay such attentions to you!" he bellowed, flushing red with anger.

"I told you that I didn't know what he wanted!" Allison shouted.

Anders took a deep breath. "And what did you tell Cullen when he asked to see you?"

Allison felt her stomach clench. Anders' mouth fell open.

"You didn't say yes did you!" he asked.

"I didn't mean to." she squeaked.

"What does that mean?" he asked in exasperation.

"Well, Cullen asked me if someone else had my attention and earlier when he said I was "fair" I misunderstood the word so I wasn't sure what "attention" meant either. I thought about you and I don't know _what_ we are. In the end I just said that I was sure I would run into him in the future and he kissed my hand and left." Allison blew out a breath.

Anders blinked in astonishment. "He…kissed…you?"

"My _hand_, that's all." she replied, not liking the look on the mage's face.

"I don't care if he kissed your big toe! What the hell does he think he's doing?" Anders cried.

Allison put her hands on her hips. "And precisely what was I supposed to say about _you_?" she snapped. "Do we have each other's "attention"? We kissed but is Justice going to allow anything real to happen? And it's not I can tell Cullen that I even know you!"

Anders lost his righteous indignation. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off like that. It's just…it bothers me; the idea of someone else touching you. It shouldn't I know. I don't have any rights to you. If you want to see him then it's not my place to interfere."

Allison lost the ability to speak before her brain started working again.

"Anders, I'm not interested in Cullen. I was too slow-witted to catch his meaning and I'll deal with it. I just didn't know what to say." Allison said.

"How could you? I haven't exactly been forthright with my own feelings have I?" he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

Allison watched the shadow of the evening play over the planes of Anders' face. His hair was down and his shirt was partially unbuttoned.

Allison thought that he looked incredibly handsome but she felt silly for mooning over him like a schoolgirl.

Anders saw Allison frown and walked over to her. "What's wrong?"

Allison laughed quietly. "Nothing. I'm just being silly."

He smiled crookedly. "Care to share? I'd love to hear something silly after all the yelling."

Allison hesitated. Was it good to be honest and tell him how she felt or was she supposed to play it cool? She had no experience with games and flirting.

"I…I was just thinking that you look handsome." she said shyly.

Anders was surprised and he wasn't sure how to respond. He could tell that it had been hard for her to tell him what she was thinking; could he do any less?

He held out his hand. "Come. I want to explain something to you."

He decided that their room was homier. He didn't want to have this discussion in the clinic area.

He sat on the bed and tugged her down to sit next to him.

Allison's hair was framing her face like a portrait and her eyes looked into his with some trepidation bit also acceptance.

She always accepted him. It made him feel safe with her.

"I want to explain myself so you can understand why I'm rubbish at this." he began.

"Rubbish at what?" she asked.

"At telling you how I feel. Will you listen?" he asked.

Allison nodded. She took any opportunity to know Anders better and this was important.

His gaze seemed to turn inward as he spoke.

"Growing up in the Circle, relationships weren't like they are out here. In the Circle, the Templars looked for any weakness, any advantage they could take to manipulate a mage. That included romantic feelings. We learned quickly that if two mages cared for one another, the Templars would use their feelings to control them. If one mage broke the rules, they would threaten the one they cared for to control them."

Allison put a hand on his arm. "That's awful."

Anders looked at the delicate fingers on his arm and closed his eyes.

"As a mage, you realize that you will never have a family of your own. But in the Circle, all we had was each other. It was natural that feelings would develop but the Templars made sure that we knew our relationships were never safe. So, love became a game, something to play at."

Allison thought about that. "Did you ever love someone? I mean, did you ever really care about someone like that?"

Anders looked sad. "No, not really. I watched what the Templars did and I determined that they would never control me by hurting someone I loved. I wasn't a choir boy by any means. I had many, many dalliances. But it was always casual and the girls always knew that I was in it for the fun." He made a face. "I was kind of a whore, now that I think about it."

Allison laughed until tears came out. 'I'm sorry but that was very funny." she said.

Anders laughed as well. "I can't be offended; it's true. I kept my emotion separate from my body because I couldn't afford to really care for someone. Can you understand that?"

Allison nodded solemnly. "I've only had one boyfriend and it didn't last very long. As a kid I was very self-conscious about the epilepsy and when I got older, the few guys I liked would find out about it and lose interest. They didn't want someone who was sick."

"Fools!" Anders spat. "I was shallow, but I was never _that_ shallow."

"You said "was". What changed?" she asked curiously.

He looked off into space. "I escaped. Suddenly I was on the run for my life and my priorities changed. Then with Justice, I thought that part of me was over. It still wasn't safe to have a relationship but for different reasons."

He turned and smiled at her. "And then you came along and threw everything upside down. Even Justice doesn't know how to handle you. You made him like you and it's confused him."

Allison looked doubtful. "Justice likes me huh? I feel like I accomplished something important." she teased.

Anders was more serious. "You did Allison. Before you, I was…restrained. Justice kept my emotions in check and we had a purpose. Now…I want to spend time with you and just be with you. And for the first time Justice isn't berating me for my mortal needs. It's never been like this."

Allison played with his sleeve. "So, what's the problem?" she asked, a little afraid.

Anders ran his finger through her hair. "There is no problem except that I don't know how to court anyone. I've never had to or been able to. When I was a boy I dreamed of meeting a beautiful girl and sweeping her off her feet; whisking her away to a castle where I could conjure flowers and butterflies to make her happy."

Allison giggled. "That's really cute."

Anders tapped her nose with his finger. "Oh be quiet. I was a child and I had no idea what romance was." He laughed. "The point is that even though I'm very…experienced, I've never been in a relationship."

Allison bit her lip. "I don't need to be courted Anders. In my world, romance has kind of gone out of style. People go bars and hookup and then never see each other again."

He reached out and drew his thumb over her bottom lip. She drew in a shaky breath.

"I've been that person, but I want more with you. I'd like to know what it's like to woo someone, to have the chance to experience that.

Allison just shrugged, afraid to admit that she liked the idea.

Anders saw right through her. He smiled charmingly. "That's what I thought. You pretend to be so practical and modern but inside you're a romantic."

She punched him playfully. "So are you apparently."

He leaned closer; his breath mingling with hers. "Sweetheart, you have no idea."

Allison was startled when Anders kissed her. Her back pressed against the wall and his hands captured her face.

Anders licked the fullness of her lips, probing gently with his tongue until they parted.

It was always a joyful experience to feel Allison open to him and he would treasure it.

Anders moved one hand to her neck and he could feel the frantic beating of her pulse against his palm.

It wasn't enough.

Anders shifted and pulled Allison away from the wall and down onto the bed. He kissed her throat and her collarbone. Allison's back arched and he couldn't resist going lower.

He unbuttoned the top of her shirt exposing a delectable expanse of soft skin. The tops of her breasts rose from her lacy breast band and Anders felt himself tremble as his lips skimmed over the rounded flesh.

Allison's breath came in short gasps and he savored the sound. His head was clouded and he barely thought as he sat up quickly and shed his robes. Anders pulled Allison upright slightly so he could remove her blouse and then he crushed her lips against his again.

Allison was glad when Anders got rid of his robe. She wanted to feel his body but his shirt still on. Her hands shook as she lifted the hem of his tunic and ran her hand over the hard plane of his stomach.

Anders moaned in her mouth and she took courage from that fact. She moved her hands higher, stroking his chest.

Anders breath caught when Allison's hand roamed over his nipples. It was incredibly erotic. He broke the kiss for second to pull his shirt off and then brought his mouth back to her chest.

Allison clutched at Anders' head, her hips rising off the bed.

Anders' vision was swimming with images of their bodies tangled together. He ran his hands over her belly, which was feminine and soft. He found the button on her jeans and unfastened it, pulling the zipper down in one motion.

Allison was dazed and breathing hard when Anders sat up to tug her jeans off. She lay there in her bra and panties, looking up at Anders' well defined chest. She reached up to pull him back down on top of her, not sure exactly what had gotten into her but not fighting it either. It felt right to be with him like this.

Anders spoke against her ear. "We don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I just need to touch you." he whispered, his breath hot and moist.

Allison couldn't speak so she just kissed him, hoping that he got the message.

Anders groaned and slipped the straps of her breast band down her shoulders. He kissed the skin he uncovered, his tongue tasting along the way.

Allison stroked her hand down his stomach again, hesitating at the waist of his pants. She didn't know what to do. He wanted her; she could feel that. A rush of heat made her feel flush.

Anders felt Allison's fingers on his skin. He was feverish like a beast and it wouldn't take much to send him over the edge.

He peeled the fabric away from her body and took in the sight, thanking the Maker that women were so beautifully made.

Allison was perfect and Anders briefly wished for pencil and paper to sketch her but the thought was quickly replaced by more urgent needs.

Allison arched sharply when she felt Anders' mouth on her; her hips meeting his. Instinct took over and she no longer hesitated. Anders groaned like he was in pain but the pain was exquisite.

He reached down and grabbed her hands, pinning her hands over her head. He nestled himself against the softness of her smallclothes and his other hand traced her skin, reveling in its texture. He swallowed the sound of her pleasure with his mouth, their bodies moving against each other.

Allison couldn't seem to get close enough to him. Her underwear was still on but she could feel him everywhere. His mouth was so warm as was his hand on her body.

She bucked against him and he pressed harder against her in return.

Allison felt her muscles tighten and her movements became desperate as she curled her feet around Anders' legs. The feel of clothes rubbing against her legs was sensual and her head came apart.

Anders felt Allison stiffen and then her hips began moving frantically. He couldn't stop himself from following her.

Allison couldn't catch her breath. She thought that was called heavy petting but it felt like world had shifted its gravity.

Anders leaned up on his elbows and kissed her thoroughly, his breath coming in rough gasps. He kissed her cheek and her forehead and then each of her fingers.

"I didn't mean for it to go that far." he said, trying to make his lungs work properly.

Allison felt shy which was ridiculous considering what they had just done.

"I don't mind. It was…amazing." she whispered.

Anders kissed her temple, laughing quietly. "When we do the real thing, it may kill me."

"Let's hope not." she replied, running her fingers through his hair.

"Wait here." Anders said and rose to get a cloth. He returned to the bed and cleaned up, looking bashful. "I haven't done that since I was a teenager. I'm sorry."

Allison didn't look at him, but she smiled. "I'm not."

Anders got in bed with her and wrapped his arms around her. Her silky skin felt like heaven and he felt his body stirring again. One of the perks or curses of being a Gray Warden depending on how you looked at it.

He ignored it and breathed in scent of Allison's body mixed with his own.

It felt like home.


	17. Chapter 17 Shift

***Hello everyone. I'm sorry I've been gone so long. Without boring anyone, I'll just say that I've had some health problems and medication issues that messed me up. I'm still not that great but I wanted you to know that the story is very much alive and I'm still writing it. I felt the need to give you something so this is short but, like I said it's **_**something**_**.**

**I just ask that you forgive the next few chapters until I get my feet back under me again writing-wise ok?***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 17 – Shift

Anders felt warm, warmer than he had in a long time. Soft skin pressed against his chest and his arm tightened as he opened his eyes.

It was just like his dream. Allison's back was to him, her dark hair spread over the pillow. She was tucked into him and their bodies fit together naturally.

He smiled and kissed the back of her neck softly. He felt her stir slightly and he ran his hand down her arm, enjoying the feel.

He wasn't sure what to say to her when she woke up. They hadn't consummated their relationship but…it had been intense to say the least.

Anders had never had to worry about what to say to a girl the morning after. In the Circle, everyone had known what the game was and feelings were never serious unless you made a mistake and got your heart involved. After that, it was only a matter of time before the Templars used it against you.

Anders was nervous. What _should_ he say? "_Good morning! How did you sleep?"_ Or "_Would you like soup for breakfast?" _Or perhaps, "_Thank you for taking pity on me. May I kiss your feet?"_

Anders cringed. That wouldn't do at all. He needed to think quickly, Allison would be waking soon. Maybe she would speak first? That didn't seem right. He was the man; he should say something romantic to her!

Anders' inability to think began to annoy Justice so that the spirit started digging around in his memory, trying to think of what Kristoff had said to his wife at times like this. He couldn't quite grasp anything though, so it wasn't helpful.

In her mind, Allison was content. She was dreaming; dreaming of home. She was in her bed, covered in a thick down comforter. A pearlescent light filtered in through the curtains of her bedroom and she smiled as she stretched.

Flipping the covers back, she walked to the window. When she looked out, a view of the Seattle sky greeted her. She was home. The dream shifted and she was wearing her blue silk robe. Her hair was wet from a warm shower and her feet padded on the carpet as she made her way to the kitchen; her favorite place.

Glancing over at her phone, Allison saw that she had several voicemails waiting for her. Some were from friends asking when they would see her again. Others were about catering jobs that would build her reputation. She grinned, feeling comfortable and happy.

The dream began to fade.

Allison smiled as she woke slowly. She stretched and then froze.

There was an arm around her. It was heavy and warm. She felt breath on her neck and then a hand stroked her arm.

Allison shrieked and leapt up, getting her feet tangled in the covers as she tumbled over Anders and onto the floor.

Anders didn't have a chance to catch her because he was too astonished to realize that she was trying to get away.

"Allison, are you alright?" he cried as he hurried out of bed and knelt down where she sat blinking owlishly on the floor.

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked, stroking her hair in a comforting gesture.

Allison's eyes focused on Anders and the rest of the story clicked into place. She remembered that they had fooled around last night. That's why he had been in bed with her.

She was so embarrassed she just wanted to melt and hide in a corner.

"Sorry. I'm not used to waking up with a man in my bed. I felt someone there and just freaked out." she said sheepishly.

Anders chuckled and helped her up. "I can't say that I mind your lack of experience, and yes I know it's a double standard considering my own escapades, but I can't help it."

Allison felt a draft and was quickly reminded that she was standing there in her bra and panties.

She crossed her arms over her chest, which seemed silly after what they had done but she couldn't help it.

"Um, I need to get dressed." she said nervously.

Anders almost told her not to bother on his account but he could tell that she was uncomfortable so he simply kissed her; light enough not to ask for anything, but firmly enough to remind her of last night.

"I'll go heat up something to eat." he said and left her to gather her wits.

Allison pulled on her jeans first and then went to her backpack where she had packed another shirt the day she left. The blue cotton was soft and comfortable and she again reminded of her dream.

Allison sat on the bed, her head a whirlwind. She was upset, disturbed and she knew why. So much had happened and she wasn't sure how to handle it.

She realized that had been living in Kirkwall with some assumptions in her head, but now she had to face that they may not come true.

She had assumed that Anders would be able to find a way home for her.

She had assumed that there would be no harm in having a relationship with him and then returning home later.

She had assumed that she wouldn't be in Kirkwall for an extended period of time.

Now? Now she didn't know what was going to happen or how to feel about it.

Finding the way home was not as simple as she had believed.

The bigger issue, and she couldn't believe that this was bigger than getting home but it was but, the bigger issue was the man waiting for her in the other room.

Who had she been trying to fool with her logic that she could just enjoy being with him and then go home?

_You were trying to fool yourself idiot!_

The truth of the matter was that she had been drawn to Anders from the beginning and she had been looking for a way to justify being with him while avoiding the reality of what she would feel when she returned home.

Last night had changed that. Sure, they hadn't made love but they _had_ connected physically and _more_. Even she felt the shift and she knew that Anders had too.

He seemed fine with it but she was having trouble.

And then there was her dream, her dream about home.

Taking a hard look at herself, Allison had to admit that she had seen being in Thedas as an adventure; a _short-lived_ adventure, not meant to be taken completely seriously. She could make new friends, experience new things and then go back to her life in Seattle.

Things were not working out that way. She _missed_ home. She missed her life, and as she gazed about the dingy bedroom with the morning light grazing the worn, beaten furniture, she felt a sudden despair.

She was being pulled in two directions, but one of them was preposterous.

She wanted to go home, badly. But she was also falling for a man with a kind heart and a generous soul.

Her body remembered his touch like he was there, and she saw his warm honey eyes in her mind. The crooked smile she loved so much and the messy hair, even the nose. Especially the nose. Allison laughed to herself and her hand came up to cover her mouth as if to say that this was not a time to be laughing.

She needed to think and think quickly. What was she going to do? Her medication was running out and there were no pharmacies here. Add to that the fact that her messed up brain gave her abilities in Thedas that were impossible back home.

And then there was Anders.

Allison knew that if Anders were not part of the equation, she would be tirelessly travelling around trying to find a way home. But he **was** part of the equation and she couldn't just put it aside; she wasn't built that way.

Allison wondered if Anders had thought about any of this at all? Was his head spinning with possibilities and complications like hers?

Allison got to her feet. Hiding in the bedroom wasn't going to make reality go away.

She washed her face in the bowl, which made her yearn for the hot shower of her dreams and she chewed on a mint leaf which made her wish for toothpaste.

She felt the need to escape the depressing room and she hurried out, spying Anders stirring a pot over the fire.

He looked up when she entered and smiled. The smile was full of promise and desire and Allison felt her heart speed up.

Anders saw the look on Allison's face when she came out and he walked over to her cautiously, sensing that something was wrong.

"What is it? You look…you look so forlorn. What's happened?" he asked, cupping her chin and gazing intensely into her eyes.

Allison didn't know where to begin.

"I…I had a dream, about home. And it's just now hitting me that things are more complicated than I wanted to admit. Last night made things more difficult and I'm not sure what to do." she replied. Her voice cracked several times, not from tears but from stress.

Anders stared at her a moment longer and then took her hand and led her to a chair. He sat down next to her, her hand between his.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on." His tone was serious as he could tell that Allison was distressed. Her eyes had an almost wild look about them and she was shaking a bit.

Allison kept her eyes on his hands to stay calm. They were beautiful hands; strong and gentle at the same time.

"I never considered the possibility that I wouldn't get back home. And I never considered how I would handle you either." she began.

Anders didn't understand. "What do you mean? Are you…are you sorry about last night?" he asked, his vulnerability plain to see.

Allison shook her head and smiled sadly. "No, I'm not sorry. But it meant more than I thought it would and we didn't even go all the way."

Anders realized he had been holding his breath while she answered and he was grateful that Allison hadn't seen the pain on his face when he thought that she was having regrets.

"I'm glad you're not sorry, because I couldn't be more happy, even if we didn't "_go all the way_" as you put it." He smiled and squeezed her hand trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Allison's head came up at his comment, her frustration and surprise evident.

"How can you feel that way about it Anders? How can you just sit there and be so…**ok** with it?" she asked incredulously.

"What do you mean?" he asked, puzzled by her reaction.

Allison stood up and began pacing.

"Did it ever occur to you that I might never get home? Have you thought about what you would do then if I was stuck here?" The thoughts that Allison had hidden inside her started to come to the surface.

"Sure, it's all good and fine now when we're having fun, but what happens if I can't get back? You've been fine with having me here but that's because we both thought that it was temporary. What if it isn't? Have you thought about how awkward it would be telling me that I have to find somewhere else to live?"

Allison stopped pacing abruptly when she heard her own words. God, what would she do then? She knew only a handful of people in this strange world. Where would she go?

Anders could see the panic building up in her and he got up, crossing over to her and took her shoulders firmly in his hands to get her attention.

"Whoa! Just wait a moment. You're scaring yourself over nothing." he said.

"Nothing?" she replied. "Are you kidding me?"

"Just hear me out alright?" Anders said, still calm. "To answer your question, no I haven't gotten everything worked out yet. First, it's still possible that we'll find a way to get you back." He took a deep breath because he wasn't sure how Allison would react to his next words.

"Second, I already came to the realization that I don't _want _you to go back." he admitted.

Anders watched Allison process that information and tried to stop himself from grinning as he saw her mind trying to work out what he had said.

"You don't want me to leave?" she repeated slowly as if speaking another language.

"No, I don't. But I understand that you have a home, a place that you miss. So, I will continue to do everything that I can to help you."

Anders stepped closer to her and moved his hands from her shoulders to her face.

"You should understand something too. I can't pretend to be happy that you may leave. I know that I have nothing. I live in a desolate place that seems devoid of hope or light. And I understand that you wouldn't want that. But I…I care for you, very much and I want you to stay. I just think that you should know that."

Allison didn't know what to say to that and Anders could tell, so he sat her down again.

"I'll get breakfast. We can talk about this alright?"

Allison nodded dully. Her mind couldn't seem to keep up with the changes, it was too much.

Anders wanted her to stay.

_She_ wanted; well she wanted a lot of things. The question was: what desires were out of reach. There was pain in both directions. The possibility of not returning home. The possibility of leaving Anders.

They couldn't be reconciled. Could they?

The future was uncertain and Allison felt ill-equipped to deal with that fact.

Reality was a bitch.


	18. Chapter 18 Girl Talk

***You guys are so wonderful to me! **

**Thank you for being so patient and supportive. I'm still having issues but I keep plugging at this story because I love it. I'm really looking forward to things getting more interesting and that keeps driving me even when the health crap wants to knock me down. Thanks for being so great and for reviewing!***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 18 – Girl Talk

Anders and Allison didn't have time to talk things out. As soon as they were finished with breakfast a large group of workers from the foundry came in with burns. There had been another accident in the poorly regulated worksite and many men had been injured.

Allison quickly forgot her concerns as she ran back and forth, grabbing ointments and poultices for Anders.

It was amazing to see him work. He never faltered. He stayed focused on his patients and managed to be efficient and caring at the same time.

One man in particular named Amos, had suffered what Allison would have thought of as third degree burns back in her world. His chest and arms were charred, the skin cracked and blistered.

Allison handed Anders a pungent cream that he was going to smear on the man's skin.

Seeing the suffering on Amos' face, Allison stood next the cot and held his hand.

She looked into his face, seeing tears pour down his cheeks.

"Just squeeze my hand as hard as you need to Amos." Allison told him.

Anders paused before spreading the cream. "Amos, this is going to help with the pain so I can focus on healing the burns. You're going to be alright, I promise."

Amos couldn't respond, he just moaned, so Anders proceeded to use the salve.

Allison saw that the cream had an immediate effect. Amos stopped weeping and his body began to relax.

Anders' hands began to glow with healing light and Allison watched, still amazed by his gift, as the red flesh began to knit and mend. The burns disappeared, leaving only light welts behind.

Anders sagged a bit in fatigue and Allison helped him to sit down.

He smiled tiredly at Amos. "Just lie there for a while and let the ointment continue to work." he ordered.

Allison went to the fire and poured some hot water on a brew of leaves that Anders used for energy. She brought it to him and he drank it gratefully.

"Thank you Allison." he said. He was so happy to have her with him at times like this. They didn't need to speak; they simply worked together in concert. And Allison was a fast learner; she knew some of the herbs and solutions he would need before he had to ask.

Allison sat down next to him. "This isn't the first accident at the foundry since I've been here." she stated worriedly.

Anders sighed. "Nor will it be the last I'm afraid. Work is hard to come by in Kirkwall and the owners of the foundry know it. If the workers complain, they can be replaced."

Allison scowled. "It's not right. Isn't anybody in this town in charge of safety or something?"

"No. The Viscount gets a share of the profits through taxes, so he's no help either." Anders explained.

Allison slumped in her seat. "That's great. Corruption and greed across the dimensions."

Anders looked around at the full beds. "We'll have guests overnight." He looked back at her gauging her expression. "We won't be able to have that talk just yet I'm afraid."

Allison looked apprehensive, but she smiled at him anyway. "It's ok. It'll keep."

An idea occurred to her as she took in all the patients. "I think I'll go and pick up a few things to make a soup for everybody and maybe grab some bread too."

She hopped up and made sure she had some money in her pockets.

Anders looked concerned. "You're going out alone?" he asked.

Allison grinned. "I'm a big girl and the market isn't that far away. I'll be back."

She wanted to kiss him goodbye but there were too many troubles swirling in her head. Instead she leaned over and stroked his cheek with the tips of her fingers for a brief moment before heading out the door.

Anders skin tingled from her touch and he watched her leave with mixed feelings.

Allison strolled through Lowtown, mildly surprised that she knew her way fairly well.

At various vendors she bought assorted vegetables and she found a man selling fresh bread at a stall.

_Not bad_, she thought.

"Miss Allison!" a voice called and turned around to see Bodhan coming towards her with a large smile on his face.

"Bodhan! How are you?" she asked, giving him a hug.

"Quite well Miss, and you?" he asked beaming.

"I'm good too. What are you doing down my way?" Allison inquired.

Bodhan held a wrapped package in his hands. "Actually I was coming to see you. The lyrium was processed faster than I thought and I've got your profits as well as some supplies for you to practice with."

Allison's face lit up with excitement. "Oh thank you Bodhan! I can't wait to try this out."

The dwarf handed her the package and then handed her a book. "Sandal wanted me to give this to you as well Miss. It's a book that explains how to make your own enchantments by taking apart various symbols and combining them in new ways. My boys' eyes fairly sparkled when he gave it to me for you."

Allison took the book with slightly nervous hands. "Cool. Thanks Bodhan and tell Sandal thank you for me as well."

Bodhan bowed graciously. "Do you need any help carrying your goods Miss Allison? You seem to be loaded down a bit."

Without waiting for her answer, Bodhan took her purchases from her and walked back to Darktown with her.

They parted at the door of the clinic and Allison walked in to find Anders pacing.

"You're back!" he said with relief.

She shook her head. "I told you I would be fine and I met Bodhan along the way and he walked me back."

Anders helped her with the bags, taking out the vegetables and the bread.

"And what did our dwarven friend want with you today?" he asked with a smile.

"He brought the money from the refined lyrium and some supplies for me to play with." Allison said with a conspiratorial grin.

Anders looked a little uneasy. "You're going to _play_ with enchantments?"

"Don't worry I won't blow anything up." Allison said, rolling her eyes.

"Will you guarantee that?" Anders returned dryly.

Allison pretended to consider it for a minute and Anders groaned. She laughed.

"I'll do my best." she promised.

Anders suppressed a shiver but let it go. "Do you need any help with the food?" he asked.

"Uh uh. No one butts into my kitchen. You take care of your patients and I'll handle this." Allison gave him a non-too gentle shove away and began preparing the meal.

Some of the patients' heads began to turn as delicious aromas came from the pot Allison was stirring.

Anders didn't know how she did it but Allison had a gift with food. When the meal was ready he helped her ladle soup into bowls for the men and each person got a chunk of bread as well.

Sounds of contentment spread across the room as the soup was eaten and Allison felt her face stretch with a smile of happiness.

Feeling quite satisfied, she relaxed and enjoyed the quiet while everyone ate.

Afterwards, Anders insisted on helping her clean up and the remaining patients began falling asleep one by one.

After making sure that everyone was settled, Anders joined Allison in the bedroom and found himself in an awkward position.

Where did Allison want him to sleep?

That morning she had fallen out of the bed getting away from him and he hadn't been able to address her fears yet.

Anders removed his robes and his boots slowly, hoping that she would bring it up.

Allison felt Anders' gaze on her and looked over to see him standing in his long tunic and pants. He seemed hesitant and for a moment she didn't understand why.

When his eyes tried over her bed, Allison understood the situation they were in. After lying together so intimately and then witnessing her embarrassing reaction that morning, she was sure that Anders was confused about what to do.

Allison took her shoes off and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Um…did you want to sleep in bed with me?" she asked, avoiding his eyes. "I mean not to _do_ anything but just to sleep?" she added hurriedly.

Anders slanted a crooked grin at her, trying to put her at ease. "Are you sure you won't punch me in the middle of the night if you wake up?" he teased.

Allison stuck out her tongue at him and climbed in bed. "I don't promise anything."

Anders climbed in next to her, glad that she hadn't turned him away.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and Allison looked up at him with unsure eyes.

"I won't push for anything you're not ready for. I promise. I know that you're frightened and that we need to talk. We'll work things out. Besides," he said with a charming quirk of his lips. "I said I wanted to woo you remember?" Anders said and kissed her lips this time.

Allison wanted very much to give in to that kiss so she turned over instead and gave him her back.

"Thank you for not pushing. I'm just feeling the weight of the situation a bit more than I was before." she said quietly.

Allison felt Anders' arm wrap around her and she allowed herself to be pulled close to him. She felt his breath on her neck and sighed, happy despite the stress.

Anders relished the warmth of Allison's body against his as he spoke in her ear. "Never doubt that you are not alone in this." he assured her.

Allison covered Anders' hand with hers and tried to believe him.

The next morning Anders spent time checking the injuries of his patients and healing any minor complications that had come up.

He didn't need Allison's help so she stayed in the bedroom and unpacked all of the supplies from Bodhan.

The refined lyrium had brought in several sovereigns and Allison was glad that she had been able to contribute something while living there.

She studied the book Sandal had wanted her to look at first. The concept was fairly simple or maybe it wasn't, but her brain just got it.

There was an example of a rune symbol for ice and one for nature. The book explained that the person crafting the rune could draw one half of the symbol for ice and half of the symbol for nature, put them together into a new symbol and create a rune that dealt nature damage plus ice.

The same method applied to other runes as well, it was a matter of the crafter deciding what effect they wanted.

Allison found the runes that dealt with health and energy to be very interesting and she began to think of Anders.

When they had been in that cavern and he had been fighting, she had wished that there was something she could do to help him and the others.

Maybe she could? Maybe she could make a rune for Anders that could help him when he was trouble?

Allison knew from watching Sandal that she would need something of Anders' that had a slot first and she had no idea what his staff was equipped with.

Allison walked out into the main clinic and saw Anders' staff leaning against a corner. Checking that he wasn't watching her, Allison studied the wooden stick with the wicked blade on one end.

She didn't see any slots though.

_Well damn_, she thought. The staff looked like it had seen better days. Anders had wrapped bandages around it in various places just to keep it together.

That's when it hit her: she could get Anders a new staff, one with a rune slot and she could make a special rune for him! It would take time, she would need to study what the best combination of symbols was, but she could practice on some other items in the meantime.

Actually, she could do better than that. She could practice and at the same time let Isabela and Varric know how much she appreciated their friendship.

It would mean another trip to the gallows because Allison needed to talk to Umbar again. However, she did not want to encounter the Knight Captain again.

_Hmmm, what to do?_

Allison approached Anders while he applied a salve to another patient.

"Anders, do you know if Cullen is always around the Gallows?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't dig too deeply into her motive for wanting to know.

Anders frowned, a little distracted. "He takes the Templars out for combat training a few times a week. Why?"

Allison tried to look disinterested. "I just need to talk to a vendor there about runes and I don't want to run into Cullen."

Anders stopped what he was doing and studied Allison's face. She was trying to look innocent but he could tell that she was hiding something. Of course as long as she was trying to avoid the bloody Knight Captain, it couldn't be all that bad.

"Well, it's midweek so Cullen should be gone for most of the day." he replied, still watching her face.

Allison blew out a relieved breath. "Good! I'll be back. Do you need anything?"

Anders looked startled. "You're going now? Alone? That's not a good idea."

Allison made a face. "Are you suggesting that _you_ come with me then?" she asked, knowing the answer already.

Anders made a face right back. "No, I'm not suggesting that. Will you at least stopped by the Hanged Man and have Isabela or Varric go with you?"

"Oh, c'mon Anders…" Allison started to argue.

Anders' expression changed to one of heartfelt concern. "Please. Please, do this for me." he entreated quietly.

It was the seriousness of his face that undid her. Allison agreed with an annoyed nod and skipped out the door, excited to have a purpose for a while.

She realized that a purpose is what she had been missing since this whole escapade began. Well…a purpose, and hot showers and toilet paper…she decided not to dwell on the negatives.

At the Hanged Man Allison didn't see either Varric or Isabela at a table so she went upstairs and knocked on Varric's door. He didn't answer so Allison went to Isabela's room. Before she could knock, the door opened and a large, muscular man with tanned skin pulled the door open.

He looked Allison up and down and smirked, setting her teeth on edge.

"Well, well. Isabela you've got a savory little visitor here." the man said in a rough guttural voice.

Isabela shoved him aside to take a look and grinned at Allison.

"Get out of here Rafe. We're done and I've got to catch up with my friend." Isabela said.

Rafe glanced at Allison again. "Maybe I should stay and the three of us can catch up together."

Allison didn't have time to react because Isabela pulled her aside and then kicked Rafe on the butt, making him fall out of the doorway and into the hall.

"I said we're done. Look me up when you're in port again." Isabela ordered and, tugging Allison inside, she shut the door in the man's face.

"Well Dearest, how have you been?" Isabela asked cheerfully.

Allison was still a little thrown by the scene that had just played out.

"I didn't mean to interrupt anything." she said with embarrassment.

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't you worry. Your arrival just gave me a better excuse to get rid of him. I hate it when they linger after business is done."

Allison paused and then said, "I assume by business, you mean sex?"

Isabela giggled. "Is there any other kind?"

"I won't answer that question." Allison said pretending to be dignified, which just made Isabela laugh.

"So, what brings you here my dear?" Isabela asked.

Allison frowned in annoyance. "I need to go to the Gallows but Anders made me come here to ask for someone to go with me."

Isabela nodded. "I could use a stretch after that bit of exercise. I'm not used to bending that way."

Allison put her hands up. "Um, don't explain what that means ok?"

Isabela snickered. "Spoilsport."

"I'm ok with that." Allison agreed.

The two women made their way downstairs and out onto the streets of Lowtown. As they walked, Isabela asked if there had been any progress between her and Anders. When Allison balked, the pirate jumped on the insinuation.

"You did it! Didn't you? You two finally got naked!" Isabela crowed merrily.

Allison cringed at the woman's volume. "Shhh! And no we didn't do it and no we didn't get naked…at least not all the way."

Isabela paused and then smiled wickedly. "That means that you did get naked at least a bit."

Allison's stomach fluttered. "I don't want to talk about it." she muttered.

Isabela looked alarmed. "It wasn't awful, was it?"

"No, no. But…we're just taking it slow, that's all." Allison replied.

Isabela made a sound of disgust. "Life is too short to take things slow Precious."

Allison decided to change the subject. "Anyway," she said meaningfully. "Thank you for coming with me. I had an idea to get Anders a new staff but I want to make a rune for him too. Do you know anything about mage's staffs?"

Isabela opened and her mouth and Allison scowled. "And don't say anything dirty!"

Isabela laughed. "You have to admit you set me up for that one though."

"I know. I'll try to be more careful. Anyway, do you?" Allison pressed.

Isabela thought about it. "I'm no expert but there is a merchant in the Gallows who's trustworthy and knowledgeable about those things. We can ask him and see if he has anything in stock."

"Great!" Allison enthused.

Isabela pondered Allison. "Hmmm…giving our boy gifts eh? Sounds like you care about him a lot."

Allison didn't know how to answer that question. "It's…complicated Isabela."

Isabela inclined her head. "Is it? Tell me what's so complicated."

Allison was in desperate need of someone to talk to, so she did.

"I thought that it would be enjoyable just to get to know Anders and see what happened. Then I would go home and be happy that I experienced something I never would have been able to otherwise." she said.

"And what changed?" Isabela asked.

Allison sighed, her shoulders sagging. "He changed, or rather I realized that he's special…important. I don't know how to be with someone when I don't belong here."

"What if you do belong here?" Isabela countered.

Allison came up short. "What? What do you mean?"

Isabela shrugged and pulled Allison along. "I'm not saying that I believe in fate or destiny or any of that dribble, but, the world is a strange place. I've seen things that have made me question my own beliefs and I can't be sure exactly what forces are out there meddling in our affairs."

Allison was dumbstruck. "I…I can't believe that." she said finally.

"Really? And how do you explain how you got here?" Isabela mocked.

"I don't know, but I can't believe that some force thought that stranding me here was a good idea!" Allison huffed.

"Why not?" Isabela said blandly.

Allison stopped and faced Isabela, all pretenses of comfort gone. "Isabela, do you understand how terrifying this place is to me? Do you understand what I've left behind and how backwards this world is compared to where I come from?"

Isabela looked surprised. "You seem to be handling it quite well Pet."

Allison shook her head. "I pretend. I pretend because I've been holding out hope that I'll get back soon. But what if I don't Isabela? Anders has liked me staying with him for now but what if I never get back? Do you think I want to face him when he has to kick me out? Where would I go? What would I do?"

Isabela ruffled Allison's hair affectionately. "Don't worry about that. I'll be here, even if Anders is stupid enough to turn you away; which he won't. And that makes me think that a lot of this is about him. Am I right?"

Allison couldn't look in the pirate's face. "I just…I didn't expect to feel this way about him and I worry that maybe he was just lonely all this time and I'm something new to have around. Maybe he'll get tired of playing house and that'll be it."

"And you care about him a lot, don't you?" Isabela asked gently. "Do you love him?"

Allison started at that question. "I think it's a bit early for that! I…I just know that he means a lot to me. He's a good man and he has one of the most giving hearts I've ever seen. Plus…" Allison's voice drifted off as she caught herself.

Isabela wasn't about to let it go though. "Plus _what_?" she asked with a cheeky grin. "You enjoyed playing the Naughty Mage and the Templar?"

Allison shoved Isabela, making the other woman cackle. "Oh shut up!"

Isabela laughed for another minute before she got a hold of herself. "That's it though isn't it? He made you all tingly and hot and you liked it."

"You're like a child. I can't talk to you anymore." Allison said snappishly.

Isabela linked her arm in Allison's as they approached the boat that would take them to the Gallows.

"Just tell me one thing: Does he have the legendary Warden's Stamina?" Isabela asked with relish.

Allison was confused. "The Warden's Stamina? What is that?"

Isabela groaned. "Oh Dearest! We need to _talk_! I'll tell you what I've heard. You may swoon."


	19. Chapter 19 Prelude

***Have I said recently that I love you guys? I really do. You've been really good to me and super caring. Thank you so much! Despite my best efforts I'm still a rollercoaster in real life but I appreciate your patience while I try to get my health back on track.**

**Keep the reviews coming and I'll try to respond to each one if I can ok? Hugs to all of you!***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 19 – Prelude

Allison didn't swoon but she did feel flushed and out her depth when Isabela was done regaling her with tales of the Warden's legendary stamina.

"Isabela, Wardens or not, I don't think any man can do _that_ twenty-nine times." Allison said in exasperation.

"Don't spoil my fun Dearheart. I like to believe that miracles are possible." Isabela stated with a slightly dreamy expression.

The boat docked and they disembarked to the Gallows.

Allison looked around cautiously but didn't see Cullen anywhere. She allowed herself to relax.

Isabela steered Allison to the far corner of the Gallows and Allison recognized the man that had given her the free herbs during her first trip to the Gallows. It seemed like ages ago.

Solivitus saw the women approaching and recognition flashed on his face. He waved them over.

"Well hello again Miss. It's good to see you, and you as well Miss…?" he left off.

Isabela smiled sexily. "Isabela. Captain Isabela if you like."

Solivitus looked a little alarmed at the predatory glint in Isabela's eyes so he shifted his gaze to Allison who was trying not to laugh.

"Hi again Mr. Solivitus." Allison greeted warmly.

"Please call me Sol. And your name was?"

"Allison, just Allison, no Miss or anything." she replied.

Sol bowed slightly. "Wonderful! Allison and Isabela. How can I help you today?"

Allison wasn't sure how much trouble there would be if she asked about a staff for Anders but Sol had been kind to her and had caught on immediately that she knew a mage the first time they had met.

"I have a…friend and I'd like to give him a new…" Allison cleared her throat. "Accessory; something that can be enchanted."

Sol looked as if he were trying to decipher her words. "And by accessory do you mean an amulet? A ring?"

"No. Um…more of something along the lines of defense or combat." Allison clarified, looking around nervously. "You know something stick-like" She felt ridiculous.

Understanding dawned on Sol's face and he smiled. "Ah yes, I see. May I show you the stock I keep behind the stall?"

He stepped aside and gestured for them to follow.

Behind the stall Sol kept a long chest which he now opened with a key. Inside were staves of all kinds. Some had colorful globes on top, others were outfitted with scimitar-like blades. Some were accented with gold, others with silver or bronze.

Allison had the silly feeling of being a kid in a toy store. There were so many choices and she could imagine Anders' face when she gave him his gift.

Looking at some of the workmanship that had gone into the staves, Allison was suddenly unsure that she had enough money to get one.

She bit her lip. "Wow, these look really amazing. How do they work?"

Sol picked up the one with a red orb on top. "A mage uses the staff to channel their mana into the form they wish it to take, and the staff is able to direct that power to the chosen target. It's a way for mages to focus their powers. It becomes an extension of the body; part of the arm. It is infused with lyrium to help that focus."

Sol spun the staff around extravagantly and Allison grinned. She could see Anders doing that; his blond hair blowing with the power swirling around him. He looked _very_ good wielding magic.

"So _hypothetically_, what would be a good staff for a mage who heals but also finds themselves in combat situations?" she asked.

Sol gave her a knowing look. "Hypothetically eh? Well you're looking, _hypothetically_ that is, for a staff that can also be enchanted? I have one with a rune slot."

Sol pulled out a staff with an ebony blade on one end, which was curved. The black blade was polished and glowed with a dark sheen. The body of the staff was metal which looked as if it had been braided all the way to the end. On top was a blue crystal, shaped like a flame that seemed to be lit from within. It was beautiful and Allison knew immediately that it was meant for Anders.

Going against all the rules for haggling, Allison couldn't keep her admiration of the staff secret. It showed all over her face and Isabela rolled her eyes.

"Oh Maker! You could never play poker could you?" Isabela scoffed. "Alright then Sol. You can see that she wants it. How much?"

Sol could indeed see how much she wanted it and his eyes sparkled with the anticipation of gold.

"Twenty sovereigns." he announced.

Allison gasped as her heart fell in disappointment. That much money could feed every refugee in Darktown twice!

"I can't afford that." She looked at the staff longingly but forced herself to let go of that little fantasy.

Isabela stepped up and got in Sol's face. "You want to try that again Pet? You must think we were born yesterday if you believe we're falling for that!"

Sol swallowed several times. "I can't back down on my prices just because you don't like them!" he argued.

Allison put a hand on Isabela's arm. "Don't. Let's just find another one."

Sol interrupted. "Look, maybe there's a way we can both get what we want?"

Isabela nodded as if she had been expecting this turn of events.

Allison didn't follow. "What do you mean? Either the staff is twenty sovereigns or it isn't."

Isabela smirked. "I believe Sol is going to give us a chance to get a discount."

Sol nodded. "I need some supplies. They're just herbs but since I'm limited to the Gallows I need someone to go and collect them for me."

"Yes, yes, we get it." Isabela snapped. "Just write up a list already."

Sol took a quill and paper and wrote out some words Allison didn't recognize and handed it to Isabela.

Isabela snatched the list and tucked it into her corset. "What do we get for bringing you your precious plants?"

"The staff will be five sovereigns. Does that sound fair?" Sol offered.

"Done." Isabela took Allison's arm and called over her shoulder as they walked. "Make sure no one else gets that staff no matter how much they offer, unless you want to be disemboweled."

Allison didn't get to see Sol's expression, but she was sure it was priceless.

"We'll go out to the coast tomorrow and gather these weeds. Then you can make your little present for Anders." Isabela said.

Allison smiled to herself because Isabela didn't know that she planned on getting something for the pirate and Varric as well.

**The Next day…**

Allison had told Anders that she was having a girl's day with Isabela. He had looked disappointed that she wasn't going to be around but the image of him with his new staff made her feel better.

She and Isabela were digging in dirt and scampering around boulders in the Wounded Coast area looking for Sol's herbs.

"What did you say Harlot's Blush looks like?" Allison called.

She heard Isabela giggle. "Nothing like mine I'm sure." Another laugh floated over. "It's a tall blue flower. It should stick out like…well like a harlot's blush."

"I think I found one then. That's one off the list." Allison huffed as she climbed over some more rocks to get back to Isabela.

"What's left to get?" she asked, peering at the list.

Isabela studied the paper. "We've already got the Elfroot and the Spindleweed. We still need Embrium which is a bit harder to find."

Allison squared her shoulders. "Ok, I'll go up this hill and look around. The Embrium is red right?"

"Yes and be careful. Anders will smite me if something happens to you." Isabela called back.

"Don't be so dramatic. It's not like that." Allison complained.

Isabela straightened up and gave Allison a look that cried "idiot". "Are you really that stupid?" the pirate asked.

Allison took offense a bit. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You _are_ that stupid. Have you seen the way he looks at you? You probably haven't because you're too busy _taking things slow_." Isabela grunted.

Allison frowned. "I know that he's attracted to me. I'm attracted to him too. That's why we…well never mind what we did. What are you rambling about?"

"I don't ramble and I'm talking about the way his eyes go all soft and dreamy when you're together. The way he watches every move you make like he's memorizing it. Do you know how hard it is to eat after seeing that kind of display?" Isabela said with an irritable expression.

"Really? He does that?" Allison said with a wistful note in her voice.

Isabela just groaned and went back to searching. "Go on Darling. Let's get this over with."

Allison contemplated Isabela's words, feeling a little hopeful that Anders felt more for her than raw attraction and the novelty of her being an oddity in his world.

They really needed to talk.

Allison climbed a bit more, rounded a corner and came to a dead stop when she came face-to-face with a man wearing a bandana over his face. He had a knife.

Allison managed to get a squeal out before he grabbed her and shoved her against a large rock. It dug painfully into her back but she was more focused on the blade he was waving in front of her eyes.

She remembered that she had a dagger of her own with her, but she had no idea how to use it and it was too late to grab it now.

"What are you doing out here?" the man growled.

He was sweaty. His eyes looked devoid of all human feeling, like she was nothing to him. He would kill her she realized.

He shoved her against the rock again and Allison cried out.

"Don't scream! I asked you what you were doing here? Did Clive send you?" he asked more forcefully.

"I don't know who Clive is." Allison answered in a shaky voice. "I'm just here looking for herbs, that's all, I promise."

He sneered at her. "You don't come out here unless you're doing a job or looking to stab someone in the back."

Allison heard the wind whistle and then a thud. The man's eyes went wide in shock and when he crumpled to the ground she saw a dagger in his back.

"I didn't want to disappoint him." Isabela said casually.

She walked over and pulled the knife out of the dead man. Allison just stood there, too stunned to even shake while Isabela cleaned her weapon.

"Are you going to throw up Dear?" Isabela asked, eyeing Allison warily.

Allison couldn't speak so she just shook her head.

"I thought you had a dagger Darling. What happened?" Isabela asked while sifting through the man's pockets.

She came up with some gold which made her happy.

Allison told herself that vomiting was not an option. "I do have one but he caught me off-guard and I forgot to pull it out."

Isabela tsked. "I'm going got have to show you how to defend yourself at the very least. If you had been alone when this happened you'd be dead and buried in a shallow grave."

Isabela glanced over and her face brightened. "Oh! But look, you found the Embrium!"

The red flower was nestled between two boulders in a patch of dark soil. Isabela bagged it and took a hold of Allison's arm, turning her around so she couldn't see the dead body anymore.

Allison got her voice working again. "I'm not a killer Isabela and I've never even been in a fight."

"I'm not telling you to go around killing people, but if you're going to be in Kirkwall for a while you need to know how to protect yourself. I'm talking about simple things Sweetie, nothing complicated. You're not a fighter and I get that." Isabela placated.

The pirate patted her on the back and Allison winced. "Ouch!"

Isabela stopped and took a look at Allison's back. "Uh oh. That blouse is ruined Dear."

Allison felt like kicking something. "I only had two shirts on this stupid trip! What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, we've got Sol's herbs, so on the way back to the Gallows we'll stop by a clothing merchant and pick up some shirts for you. What do you think; something Orlesian?" Isabela asked, studying Allison's form.

Allison's face screwed up in disgust. "Are they the ones that wear all of those colorful, satiny things?"

Isabela laughed. "Yes they are."

"No thanks. Honestly, I need something else to wear anyway. But I like wearing Anders' shirts." Allison confessed.

Isabela pursed her lips and imagined it. "You know what? I think you could pull that look off, and Maker knows that those shirts are cheaper than anything else you could wear."

"Cool. Let's go take care of that on the way to the Gallows so I don't walk around in a ripped up shirt." Allison agreed.

Around the docks they found a merchant who sold men's clothing. He didn't question it when Allison bought several long tunic style shirts. Isabela suggested that she get ones that were made for young men so they wouldn't be too large. It was a good idea because the cut was slimmer.

Allison stepped into a dark corner and while Isabela stood lookout, she took off her ruined shirt and put on the new one which felt like it was made of cotton.

The tunic hung down to her thighs but Isabela said that the clingy material showed off her shape.

"Wait 'til Anders gets a load of you!" Isabela warned.

Allison ignored her, just being happy to have a fresh shirt on and several more to hold her over.

She got a few looks as they walked to the boat, many of them from citizens doing a double take.

"Jeez, do I look that weird?" she grumbled.

Isabela threw her hands up in surrender. "Oh Sweetie, you really have no idea do you?"

Allison fiddled with the open laces at the throat of the tunic while they took the boat across to the Gallows, deciding to leave them open for a more feminine look.

When they stepped off, Allison again took a moment to search for Cullen. Not seeing him, she and Isabela made their way over to Sol.

The mage was excited to receive his herbs and as agreed he turned the staff over to Allison.

"I just thought of something. I can't take this back with me. Anders will see it." Allison explained.

"I'll keep it with me at the Hanged Man and you can come and get it when the rune is ready ok?" Isabela offered.

"Thanks! Um…can you hang on here for a sec while I go and ask that vendor something about my dagger?" Allison asked in an innocent voice.

Isabela looked puzzled but she waited.

Allison crossed over to the other side of the courtyard, still keeping alert for Cullen, and approached a man selling various kinds of blades.

"Hi. I'm looking for a small dagger that has a rune slot?" she inquired.

The merchant came back with a delicate knife with a bronze-looking hilt. There was one slot on it and after bargaining she was able to purchase it for one sovereign plus fifty silver.

She had an idea for Varric's gift and she would work on that later.

Hiding her purchase from Isabela's prying eyes, the two women returned to the mainland.

Isabela told Allison to expect defense lessons in the near future and Allison walked back to the clinic slowly, trying to think of what to tell Anders. He would see her shirt and ask what happened and even though she hadn't told the whole truth about what she was doing that morning, she didn't want to outright lie to him either.

When she walked inside, Allison saw that all the patients were gone. The clinic was theirs again.

She hesitated in the doorway and Anders came rushing out of the back room.

He looked worried. "There you are! I've been torturing myself with images of you in danger all day!"

She must have made a face because Anders expression changed to one of swift comprehension.

He rushed over to where she stood fidgeting.

"What happened?" he asked, knowing that something had.

"We had a little run in while we were out." Allison said slowly.

Anders' expression was fierce. "What _kind _of a run in? And why are you wearing a different shirt?"

Allison wrinkled her nose. "There was a man out on the Coast. He had a knife and Isabela killed him."

She said it without emotion, thinking that getting it out of the way would make it better.

Anders' face became distressed and he reached out to take her hands in his.

"Are you alright? Were you hurt?" he asked quickly.

Allison had moved backwards when Anders had come towards her and her back hit the front door.

"Ow!" she hissed before she could stop herself.

"What? You _are_ hurt. Let me see!" Anders pulled her towards the bedroom and had her sit on the bed.

"It's nothing. The guy just shoved me up against some rocks. I'm sure it's just bruised." She assured him.

Anders turned her so that her back was to him and he sat behind her on the bed.

"You can either lift this shirt yourself or I will." he said.

Apparently she didn't move fast enough for him because he lifted the hem of the shirt, exposing her back.

Allison heard him suck in a breath.

Anders was livid. The flesh of Allison's back was mottled with bruises of varying sizes. The skin was red and broken in some places where the rough surface of the rock had scraped it.

"Did you say this man is dead?" Anders asked in a dangerously soft voice.

Allison's skin prickled in alarm. "Yes. Isabela killed him."

Anders traced Allison's back with the tips of his fingers. "Good."

Allison felt warmth run over her skin and immediately the pain stopped.

Anders healed the broken skin and cleared up the bruises while trying to keep hold of his temper.

"What was Isabela thinking taking you out to the Coast without backup?" he said angrily.

"It wasn't her idea, it was mine." Allison defended. "I wanted to explore and she took me. She saved my life so maybe you should be happy instead of being all snarly."

"I am happy." he said. "I'll thank Isabela when I see her."

Allison didn't feel anymore magic coming from Anders. "Um, are you finished? Can I put my shirt back down?"

Anders stared at the now flawless skin of Allison's back. "You're healed."

Allison went to tug her shirt down when she felt something else warm against her skin.

Anders couldn't help himself. That glorious expanse of flesh that narrowed down to feminine hips was a temptation he couldn't resist.

He pressed a kiss onto Allison's shoulder blade, then to the base of her neck and finally to the curvature of her spine.

His pulse had sped up and heat was pooling in his loins so simply rested his head against her back. He had promised to take things slower and he would.

Allison turned around and met Anders' eyes. They weren't soft or dreamy; more like simmering.

"Thank you for healing me." she said quietly, feeling like if she spoke too loudly it would break the air of intimacy that seemed to be surrounding them.

Anders cupped the back of Allison's neck and kissed her. He allowed his lips to move over hers passionately but he stayed aware of her posture in case she wanted him to stop.

Allison held onto Anders' shoulders and kissed him back, knowing that he was holding back for her. She appreciated him not asking for more than she wanted to give. The problem was that she wanted to give a lot more and the feeling of his smooth lips nibbling on her mouth was not helping.

Allison laughed and extricated herself from the embrace.

Anders looked chagrined. "Sorry." he said with a crooked grin. "That wasn't what I had planned but you have the most gorgeous back I've ever seen."

Allison flushed but was flattered too. "I can't pretend that I had a problem with it."

Anders winked at her and rose to walk over to the desk.

"I have something for you but I don't know if you'll like it." he said. At her expression he hurried to add, "I didn't spend any money on it so don't get too excited."

Allison sat crossed-legged on the bed. "You don't need to get me anything Anders. You've done enough for me."

Anders pulled a stack of papers out of a drawer and handed them to her. "Like I said, you may not like it."

Allison was floored.

In her hands she held dozens of sketches that Anders had drawn of her.

She was in various poses. In one she was stirring the pot over the fire. In another she was smiling with Isabela and Varric. There were several of her face at rest while she slept and others showing her face at different angles.

Anders watched the emotions play over Allison's face as she studied the drawings. He had always loved to draw and when he was in the Circle he would practice between escape attempts.

Allison's face was in his mind often and he had found himself sketching her portrait over and over.

Her face was very expressive and over time he had gotten better at reading it. He loved her impish grins and the way she worried her lip with her teeth when she was nervous about something. He found it amusing when she tried to hide something from him because she was a terrible liar and it showed.

He loved the way her eyes lit up with excitement or laughter and the way they darkened when he touched her. Even the way she rolled her eyes at him was attractive.

He was falling for her and he had poured all of his feelings into his drawings.

Allison couldn't believe the care Anders had taken with the sketches. He knew every angle and plane of her face and he had studied her mannerisms enough that he was able to duplicate them on paper.

There was no way she looked that pretty in real life. She couldn't understand why he had drawn her that way.

Anders saw Allison frown just a bit; a slight wrinkle between her brows.

"What's wrong? Do you hate them?" he asked, pained at the thought.

"No,no." she said. "I just…I don't look like this Anders. You made her beautiful and that's not me."

Anders knelt next to the bed where she was sitting. "Yes it is. That's how I see you, and I wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts constantly. I wanted to show you how much you mean to me."

Allison felt sad but she didn't know the reason. "Why?" she whispered.

Anders tilted her face with his hand. "Why won't you look at me?" he asked gently. "Why do the drawings make you sad?"

Allison just shrugged, unable to understand her own feelings. "I don't know."

Anders contemplated her for a moment. "Well, it looks like I have my work cut out for me."

That made Allison look at him finally. "In what way?"

"Well, I can't have you getting sad when I try to woo you, can I? I'll just have to help you to get used to it." Anders grinned and kissed her again, though less intensely this time and got to his feet.

"Wait!" Allison said, catching the edge of his sleeve. "You did something really wonderful and I didn't mean to get all heavy and droopy about it. The drawings are beautiful Anders, really. You have a lot of talent. I saw that with the map you drew before. These are incredible. Thank you."

He smiled. "Thank you." He bent down and kissed her hand. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me what you were really doing down at the Coast today?"

Allison knew that he had seen through her so there was no reason for pretense. "Nope, I'm not going to tell you."

He nodded. "Thought so."

He took her hand, pulling her to her feet. "By the way, that tunic looks fantastic on you. I've never seen a woman wear men's clothing before, but you look beautiful."

Allison flushed again and Anders chuckled.

Without thinking, Allison grabbed the mage by the collar and pulled him down to her level, kissing the breath out of him.

Anders blinked several times. "What was that for?"

Allison laughed. "I don't know. I just wanted to."

Anders grinned. "You won't get any arguments from me. If you feel the impulse come over you again just go with it."

Allison cracked up. It was too easy to be with him sometimes. This wasn't her world or her time but Anders was apart from that in some way.

Allison wasn't ready for serious thinking yet so she sat down at the desk to start practicing rune making.

Anders watched Allison prepare her supplies. "You're sure you won't blow anything up?"

"I'm ignoring you. Why don't you go play with fireballs or something." she teased.

Anders smiled at the way she brushed him off after kissing him so freely. "Actually, I think I'll go see Isabela and Varric. I haven't caught up with them in a while and I'd like to thank Isabela for saving you."

Allison kept her back turned but called out, "She won't tell you anything, so don't bother trying to get information out of her."

Anders frowned because that's exactly what he was planning to do. But, if Isabela and Allison had some kind of female pact going on, then she was right and Isabela would simply taunt him with the knowledge that she knows something he doesn't.

"I'll be back soon. Try to keep yourself in one piece." Anders asked as he left.

Allison practically rubbed her hands together, she was so excited to try rune-making out by herself.

She decided to make a few practice runes to make sure that she had the concept down. Choosing a smooth stone, Allison thought about the kind of rune she'd like to make for Isabela.

Out of the three friends, Isabela was the only one who's method of fighting required that she get in close to the opponent. Maybe there was something Allison could make that would give Isabela an edge?

Leafing through the book, Allison studied various symbols. Isabela already had two blades that she used all the time. The dagger that Allison had gotten for her would supplement those. So, perhaps the rune she put in it should reflect that. Perhaps she could give it some qualities that Isabela could use if she was in a jam.

Tapping the end of the quill against her chin, Allison considered what would be useful in a tight situation.

Breathing room, for one thing. There was a rune symbol that caused a wall of energy to come from the enchanted weapon that would throw the target backwards.

_Yes! That would be really helpful in a bind._

"What else?" Allison wondered out loud.

The simplest answer would be something that could heal Isabela if she were in trouble.

That was easy enough as there were several runes that dealt with a person's health. The issue was where the source of healing would come from.

Allison flipped some pages and settled on a rune that leeches health from the one being attacked by the enchanted weapon.

"Ok. Time to try this out." Allison blew her hair out of her face and tried to be calm.

"That's right. I'm just sitting here in another dimension, chilling out, making runes for magical weapons. Totally normal." she said to herself.

Allison took a piece of the rune-tracing paper and placed it on the picture of ones of the symbols. She dipped the quill very carefully into the inkpot full of the raw lyrium ink.

Because she wanted to mix two rune symbols together she only traced half of the first one. Being very careful not to wrinkle the paper or smudge the ink, she then turned to the page that had the other half of the symbol she wanted. Allison put the paper down over it and again traced the other half of her chosen combination onto the sheet.

It was important that the rune symbols touch so that the powers of each symbol were joined together.

When she was satisfied with it, Allison blew gently on the paper to dry the writing. She was more cautious with the drying time, wanting to do a good job on this first rune.

Now came the part that made her nervous. She had to transfer the symbol from the paper to the rune stone.

Placing the tracing paper over the stone, Allison put her hand over the joined symbols. She cleared her mind and tried only to think of the lyrium infusing the symbol with power. She pictured that power running from her fingertips, through her palm, and she imagined pushing that power into the stone.

Her hand started to feel warm, a tingling of power seeping through her skin. Her breathing picked up and she tried to calm herself by saying that everything was safe.

The heat intensified and Allison panicked, pulling her hand away.

"Dammit!" she yelled. "You shouldn't have chickened out!"

It was ok. She could try again.

Allison repeated the process, focusing on the imagery in her mind. When the heat started she forced her breathing to slow down. She thought about who she was making the rune for. Sassy, brassy Isabela. A woman with tough skin and a kind heart who liked to hide it behind snarky comments and brazen sexuality.

The thought made Allison smile and she felt a _whoomp_ beneath her hand and a puff of air around her.

She gasped and snatched her hand away. Allison lifted the paper and grinned from ear to ear when she saw the rune glowing merrily on the stone.

The symbol was purple and Allison thought it looked cool.

"Woohoo!" she hollered, knowing that no one could hear her acting like an idiot.

She danced around for a minute before getting a grip on herself.

"Wait a minute." she said to no one. "How the hell am I supposed to test this thing? I have to make sure it works before I have the dagger enchanted."

Allison tapped her foot on the floor.

She couldn't test it on herself right?

"No. I'd better not do that." she concluded quickly.

And she couldn't go out looking for some bad guy to practice on either.

She looked around the bedroom and saw her plain white pillow.

"Well, I may not be able to test the health-sucking thing, but maybe I can test to knocking-something-backward thing."

Allison grabbed the pillow. As a joke, she dressed the pillow in her ruined shirt.

She threw the makeshift bad guy in the air and threw the rock at it. The pillow flew back and hit the far wall, albeit very softly.

"Yea!" Allison cheered. She kind of wished that Anders had been there to see it.

"I'm assuming that if one part of rune works, the second part will too." Allison looked around sheepishly. "I really should stop talking to myself."

Allison decided that after she got Varric's rune together she would visit Sandal and pay him to enchant the items for her friends. Then it would be on to the big one: Anders new staff.

She knew what she wanted for the charming dwarf already.

Varric looked like a swashbuckler from an old movie and she had noticed that he wore a necklace. Allison's plan was to get a necklace that could have the rune as a pendant.

Since Varric used a crossbow, Allison was thinking of making a rune that would keep people off of him and protect him from other archers.

There was a rune of protection that would make a barrier around Varric and Allison was going to make that.

Feeling pretty satisfied about her day's work, Allisoon decided that after being attacked by a crazy person, a stealthy trip to the Gallows and making Isabela's rune, it was time for a nap.

Maybe Anders would be back when she woke up.

**Meanwhile at The Hanged Man…**

Anders was busy giving Isabela a dirty look after unsuccessfully trying to get information on her and Allison's trip down to the coast.

Isabela looked very pleased with herself.

"Sorry Sweetie, that's between Allison and me." Isabela purred.

"Fine." Anders growled. Then he remembered his other purpose. "I do want to thank you Isabela for taking care of her."

Isabela nodded. "I told her that she needs to learn to defend herself with that dagger she's got."

Anders looked perturbed. "It's not like she's going to be going into the sewers Isabela. I'll be with her most of the time."

Isabela gave Anders a look that said he was a simpleton. "You can guarantee that you'll be with her _every _moment of _every_ day Anders?"

"Well…no, but, Isabela she's not like us, she's not a fighter." Anders argued.

"I know Dear, and that's why I'll just teach her some simple moves in case she gets in trouble." Isabela explained.

Varric glanced at Isabela meaningfully and started polishing Bianca. "So Blondie, why are you down here with us instead of spending time with your lady?" he asked.

Anders blushed and shifted uncomfortably. "She's not _mine_ Varric." he said peevishly.

Varric raised an eyebrow. "_Really_?"

Isabela leaned forward giving Varric a smoldering look, pitching her voice higher. "Oh Anders! You're so kind and giving. You're so heroic, and I love all that messy hair!"

Varric put his crossbow down and clasped Isabela's hand. "Allison, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I dream about you night and day. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I just want to be with you for all eternity."

Isabela fluttered her eyelashes and placed a hand over her heart. "That's so sweet! Oh Anders, take me on this table right now!"

Anders sat back and folding his arms. "We are _not_ like that!" he snapped.

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Oh please! It's obvious that you're crazy about her, and that she's all weak-kneed over you as well."

Anders sat up straight. "Why is it obvious? Has she said something about me?"

Isabela just snorted.

Varric picked Bianca back up. "It's only obvious to people with eyes."

Anders wished he could be sure. "It's one thing to be physically attracted to a person; it's another matter to know it's more than that."

Varric continued polishing. "And just how do you feel about Allison? Is it just raw, animal lust?"

Anders bristled, insulted by the idea for some reason. "No. It's not just that for _me_. I…she's… amazing. She's spirited and brave. She makes me feel less alone in this world, and she reminds me that I'm still human."

Isabela guzzled her drink down, slamming the glass down. "Well isn't that nauseating?"

"I think it's sweet." Varric disagreed.

Anders scowled. "I hate both of you."

Varric laughed, a loud booming sound. "Relax Blondie. We're happy for you."

Isabela yawned. "That's true. It's criminal to go without sex as long as you have."

Anders pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're right, I should go home."

He got to feet, straightening his robes.

"Anders." Varric interrupted. "Have you heard any news about your mage friend?"

Anders felt his stomach clench. "No, and I'm getting worried. Karl should have contacted me again by now."

"You want me to look into it?" Varric offered.

"I'm not sure. I'm considering a more…aggressive action." Anders said slowly. "I'll let you know when I decide."

Varric nodded, watching the mage leave the musty bar.

He and Isabela exchanged a look of concern.

***Yes, Karl is going to be in this story. It's one of the few game storylines that I'm going to use as I feel it's a pivotal and emotional moment for Anders. We'll see how Allison handles the fallout.***


	20. Chapter 20 Confessions

***There will be a theory about Anders and the taint in this chapter that is made up by me. I didn't want anyone to think that they had missed something in the game. Also, Anders will bring up an issue with the taint that has not been settled in the game but these are his thoughts on it, so I'm not saying that it's fact. I'm taking license with it based on Allistair's comments in DA:O***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 20 – Confessions

The next morning after breakfast Anders decided to finally broach the subject he and Allison had been too busy to get around to discussing.

Despite Varric and Isabela's assurances that Allison had deeper feelings for him, Anders was unsure.

Feelings could be confused if a person was in a situation where they needed someone. Allison had found herself in a strange and alien world. He had been one of the first people she met. He had healed her injuries and given her a place to stay. Maybe her feelings were simply based on gratitude?

Anders hadn't opened himself up to this kind of hurt in a very long time and he didn't relish the possibility that Allison didn't feel as much for him as he did for her.

Allison's head was bent over a book that outlined the history of Ferelden. Anders was glad that he had a sort of library as Allison was trying to understand her surroundings better.

He cleared his throat nervously. "Allison, can we talk?"

She looked up alerted by his tone. "Sure." She closed the book and pushed it aside. "What's up?"

Anders took a seat next to her. "I know that you've been worried about what will happen and about us. I hadn't realized until recently that I have my own worries and I think it's time we talk about it."

Allison's stomach dropped to her feet. She wasn't sure that she was ready to hear what Anders might say. What if he wanted her to leave? What if he had changed his mind after showing her the drawings?

She swallowed what felt like a lump in her throat. "Ok. Let's talk."

Anders took a deep breath. "Perhaps you should go first. I'd like to know what you're thinking even if you think it will hurt my feelings."

_Don't be a coward_, she told herself.

"What am I thinking?" she said. Allison interlocked her fingers and twisted them back and forth.

"I'm thinking that…I don't know why you've kept me around. I'm thinking that maybe I'm something new and that maybe that will wear off and you'll get tired of me. I worry that if that happens, I'll be homeless in a place I know nothing about. I worry because I really like you and I shouldn't because I can't stay here, but then I worry that maybe I'll never get back home. I worry because there are no hot showers here and no toilet paper and I'm running out of medication. And I worry because I just lied; I don't really like you, I _more_ than like you and it scares me because I don't know what to do about it."

Allison felt herself deflate after getting all of that out.

Anders looked a bit taken aback and Allison fidgeted even more.

His look of dismay changed quickly to one of hesitant pleasure. His mouth curved up in that crooked way that she loved.

Anders started counting on his fingers. "So let me see if I have this straight: You worry that I think you're a new toy. You worry that I'll kick you out onto the streets. You worry because you _more than like me_ and you want something called a hot shower? Did I get all of that?"

Allison was tempted to punch him when he smiled after recounting her list. "You forgot the toilet paper and my medication." she said with barely repressed irritation.

Anders sobered at the mention of the medicine. "Actually I've been working on that. Do you remember the tea I gave you a while ago?"

Allison nodded. "Yes, it helped me to feel better."

"Well, I've been doing research and making notes and I'd like to try out some blends I've been concocting to see if they help hold your seizures off." Anders said, gesturing at some jars on the table.

Allison was surprised. "Wow. Thank you Anders. I'll try whatever you've come up with."

He looked satisfied. "Good. Now as for your other concerns, maybe it would help if I express my own?"

Allison felt like holding her breath. "Go ahead. And be honest ok?"

Anders' lips twitched at her tone but he remained serious, his gaze on the floor.

"I've been thinking that perhaps the reason you've felt…close to me is because I helped you when you arrived here. To be honest, you need me right now, but it may not always be so and I don't want you to be with me because you're thankful." The thought made him sad.

"And I worry too. I worry because you've become a part of my life and I don't know what I would do if you left. You make me vulnerable and I've tried to stay invulnerable since I escaped the Circle and the Wardens." he confessed quietly.

Anders looked up then to see how Allison had taken what he said.

She was smiling slightly. "So…you don't just like having me around because I'm novel?"

He returned her hesitant smile. "No. And you? Am I just a handy place to sleep?"

Allison felt awful that he would even _think_ that so she reached out to take his hand.

"No, not at all." She tried to quiet her nerves so she could be honest. "Anders…I care about you a lot. You're a good man. You care about people, you're funny, you're honorable, and…" she flushed and stopped speaking.

Anders grasped her hand tightly. "What? You can't just leave it like that."

Allison looked up at the ceiling, too embarrassed to look at him. "You're incredibly handsome, and you look really sexy when you wield magic." She wanted to sink into the floor after that declaration.

Anders didn't know what to say. He was so used to people being frightened of magic; he had never heard anyone say that a mage looked _sexy_ while casting spells!

Allison saw his face and jumped to her feet, wanting to run into the bedroom and throw the covers over her head.

Anders stepped in front of her, preventing her from taking off.

"No, don't! I'm sorry, I was just surprised. I'm not used to people thinking of magic in a positive light." Anders said hurriedly.

Allison tried to tug her hand away. "I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have said that."

Anders held on to her more tightly. "Actually, Varric and Isabela would be pleased as I was recently subjected to their take on our relationship." Anders joked.

"What do you mean?" Allison asked.

Anders lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "According to them, we're quite far gone over each other and we make them nauseous."

Allison shook her head ruefully. "Isabela made some snide comments when we were together the other day."

"Oh? What did she say?" Anders inquired.

Allison shrugged. "She said that you stare at me when I'm not looking."

Anders laughed. "Well, I thought I was hiding it a bit better than that."

Allison was startled by his admission. "You mean it's true?"

Anders traced her chin with his finger. "I can't help it. I told you Allison, you're part of my life now. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have you here, with me."

Allison stepped closer to him. "So, what do we do about it?"

Anders tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe we can find a way to be together?"

Allison felt her heart speed up. "How?"

"I don't know. Is that something you would consider?" Anders asked.

Allison thought about it. "Anders, I still don't know if I'll find a way home."

Anders nodded sadly. "I know that, I'm only asking if you would _want_ to be with me?" he pressed.

Allison stared at his face, feeling his hands on her hair. His light brown eyes were open, showing his vulnerability.

"You're a part of my life too Anders. If there's a way…" she didn't know how to finish that sentence because it seemed impossible.

Anders' expression said that he understood the part that was left unsaid. "Then we'll figure out a way." he said firmly.

Allison smiled, daring to hope. "Okay."

Anders felt his heart swell and his emotions overcame him.

Clasping her face in his hands, Anders crushed her lips with his, his arm coming around her to hold her close to his body.

Allison answered his passion by grabbing the lapels of his robe and pulling him towards her. She rose up on her tiptoes to meet him and he moaned in her mouth.

The force of his passion propelled them backwards and Allison's back came up against the wall.

Anders knew that he would never get enough of her taste. His tongue explored the depths of her mouth and committed every texture and flavor to memory.

His hands moved down to her hip and Anders hitched her legs up, wrapping them around his waist.

Feeling her pressed so tightly against him made his head swim.

It was then that Justice surfaced enough to ask him if he intended on rutting like a beast against the wall.

Anders broke off the kiss, sliding his lips over Allison's neck and collarbone before pulling back.

Her eyes were dark and slightly dazed, and they tempted Anders to stay exactly where he was. But, Justice was right. Their first time together shouldn't be like this.

Regretfully, Anders lowered Allison's legs back to the floor.

"Is something wrong?" she asked breathlessly.

He kissed her again, trying to keep control of himself. "No, nothing's wrong. I just think that we should wait for a more romantic setting."

Allison exhaled. "Right, the wooing part."

Anders took her hand. "Right, the wooing."

Allison looked chagrined. "I feel pretty wooed already."

Anders groaned. "Don't tempt me or I'll have you right back against that wall again."

Allison looked backwards and grinned in what Anders could only describe as a seductively provocative way.

"What's wrong with that?" she teased.

Anders almost gave in but Justice was insulted by the idea. "Justice doesn't think that it would be respectful for our first time."

Allison was horrified. "Justice? Oh my goodness, I forgot that he would be…looking."

Anders didn't want her to feel self-conscious. "Don't worry. He just wants me to be a gentleman. He won't really _be_ there when the time comes."

Allison wasn't entirely sure of that but she let it go.

"So, what should we do today?" she asked.

Anders thought of all the things he'd like to do and then pushed those thoughts aside.

He was about to suggest a walk when a young elven boy rushed inside the clinic. Anders recognized him as Tomwise's son Dugan.

"Messere!" the boy cried. "You must come, my mother is having pains!"

"It's Greta's time." Anders explained to Allison as he grabbed his satchel of medicines and potions and teas.

Allison watched him hurry around as he picked up cloths and sheets.

"Can I help?" she asked.

"Have you ever assisted with a birth before?" Anders asked.

"Um…no, but maybe I can help in some way." she offered.

Anders smiled. "Come along then."

The boy led the way quickly, weaving around the various groups of refugees until they came to a small group of homes dug out of the earth.

The boy pushed the door open and Allison heard a woman yelling and swearing.

She recognized Tomwise when he came out from a back room.

"Oh, thank the Creator you're here!" he said. "This one is giving her trouble."

Anders entered the bedroom to find Greta sitting up in the bed, her hair clinging to sweaty skin, her pallor pale.

Allison watched from the door as Anders smiled warmly at the woman. He sat on the edge of the bed and took one of her hands while placing his other hand on her forehead.

"Well now Greta, is this young hooligan making life more interesting already?" he said kindly.

Allison saw the woman laugh through the pain. "Aye, he is Healer."

Tomwise paced in the small room, glancing back at Anders and his wife worriedly.

Allison decided to start being of some help. "Tomwise? Do you have a place where I could make some tea?" she asked.

The elf looked as if he didn't hear her at first before he collected himself. "Yes, come this way."

Tomwise threw another glance back as he led Allison out to the front room.

Once Allison had gotten Tom out of the room Anders gave Greta a serious look.

"How bad is it?" he asked.

Greta winced and gasped. "Bad. Worse than with any of my others."

Anders patted her hand. "Let me take a look."

Anders pulled the blanket down and put his hands on Greta's stomach. It was hard, like a rock.

Anders sent his magic into the woman's womb to detect what was wrong.

He closed his eyes and felt a picture form in his mind.

Allison and Tom returned, having put a kettle on the stove.

Allison saw Anders' face contort for a moment before he opened his eyes. She saw that something was wrong.

So did Tom.

"What is it Healer? What's wrong?" the elf asked, his distress obvious.

Anders looked at the couple, knowing his next words would increase their fears.

"The baby hasn't turned yet, but it's Greta's time and it can't be stopped." he explained.

Allison stifled a gasp. She wasn't sure what people in this world did during times like this. There were no hospitals and she didn't think that Anders could perform C-sections.

Tom paled. "What do we do?" he whispered.

Anders' voice was confident, his expression set. "We'll do this together. Everything is going to be alright. I promise."

Allison couldn't believe that Anders would make that kind of guarantee but he seemed so sure that Tom and Greta immediately took strength.

"Allison." Anders called, making her jump.

"Yes?" She stepped closer.

Anders turned towards the elven woman who was gasping through another contraction.

"Greta, this is Allison. She's going to help me. Allison?" Anders gestured for her to come over. "Please hold Greta's hand."

Allison swallowed and gave Greta a weak smile. "Hi." She said lamely as she let the woman grip her hand.

Tomwise shifted back and forth. "What should I do Healer?"

Anders nodded towards the doorway. "Go and take care of your other children. I'll call you when the newest member arrives."

Tomwise walked over to the bed and gave Greta a kiss on the forehead. "Le thalion un bein herves."

He took one last look before he shut the door behind him.

Allison looked at Greta. "What did he say?"

Greta smiled through a grimace of pain. "He told said that I'm strong and beautiful. The fool." she said lovingly.

Allison laughed. "I think that's sweet." Greta flinched in pain and Allison tried to distract her. "How long have you been together?"

Greta panted for a moment. "Sixteen years. He's a good man."

Allison took a wet cloth and blotted Greta's forehead. "He is. He saved me from some criminals when I first arrived here."

A look of understanding passed over the elf's face. "Oh! I remember. He told me all about it. Well then, it's very good to meet you."

"You too." Allison said.

Anders gave Greta a kind smile. "Are you ready?"

Greta gritted her teeth as another contraction hit. "Aye."

Anders squeezed her hand. "I'm going to lift your gown alright? And then I'm going to try turning the baby."

Allison and Anders shared a look and he nodded in encouragement. Allison took a firmer grip on Greta's hand.

Anders placed his hands on the elven woman's stomach. He could feel the shape of the babe through her skin and he could feel that the child was sideways.

He had a lot of experience with childbirth but they were never easy. If someone called for him it was because something was going wrong.

He started to gently, but firmly manipulate the baby, shifting its position and then resting for a moment before shifting it a bit more. With each movement Greta winced and cried out.

Allison wet the cloth again and began uttering soothing words to the crying woman.

"Everything's going to be alright Greta. Anders is a wonderful healer and he's going to take care of you and the baby." Allison whispered.

Greta's body tensed as another contraction hit with stronger force than before. Anders paused and, feeling her stomach tightening. When the contraction was over he went back to work.

Allison patted Greta's hair. "Have you thought of a name?" she asked, trying to help Greta think of something else than her fear.

Greta squeezed Allison's hand and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Feydan if it's a boy and Tahriel if it's a girl."

"Those are really pretty names." Allison said and felt Greta clench when the pain hit again.

Anders looked up, his expression grave. "Greta, the baby needs more help. I'm going to have to maneuver the baby from inside now."

Allison felt queasy. "What do you mean Anders?"

"I'm going to reach inside and rearrange the baby's limbs. I've managed to turn him a bit from the outside but it's not enough." Anders looked seriously at Greta. "We need to hurry."

Greta breathed, but tears flowed over her cheeks. "Do whatever you need to do Healer. Please!"

Anders nodded and took off his robes, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to the elbow.

Greta's knees were bent and Anders reached inside with one hand, feeling for the baby. Immediately, he felt a leg and he began gently tugging the tiny appendage. At the same time, Anders used his left hand on top of Greta's stomach to continue turning the baby from the outside.

Allison tried not to gag and instead focused on Greta. "You're doing great! Your baby is going to be here soon and this will all be over. Tom is right, you're really strong Greta."

After a few strained moments Anders breathed in relief as he finally got the baby turned.

He gave Greta and Allison a victorious look. "Got it! The baby is coming feet first but it's fine. It's time to push now Greta."

Allison helped Greta sit up and then thought to take a position behind her so Greta could rest her weight on her. Allison let Greta lay against her and then she reached forward, sliding her arms alongside Greta's and taking one hand in each of hers so the woman could grip her as tightly as she needed.

Anders looked on with approval at Allison's ingenuity. "Alright Greta, push!"

Greta bore down, her hands turning white as she held onto to Allison.

"Push!" Anders ordered again.

Allison winced as her hands were crushed. Greta was small but really strong. It didn't matter because the pain in her hand was nothing compared to what the elf was feeling.

Anders caught the baby's feet and held them together. "Push!"

Greta grunted and cried out, pushing with all her might.

Allison cheered her on. "You're doing so well Greta! C'mon, the baby's almost here!"

Greta kept pushing and Anders caught the infant as he slid out.

"Got him!" he said with a grin.

Greta slumped back in exhaustion.

Anders smacked the baby's bottom and was rewarded with a lusty cry from the newborn boy.

Anders smiled and turned the boy around so his mother could see him.

Allison took one look at the little boy and happy tears started pouring down her face.

"Feydan it is!" she said happily.

Greta laughed and reached for her son. Anders wrapped him in a blanket and handed him to her.

There was still the afterbirth to deal with and he took care of that before calling Tom in to see his son.

Tomwise stepped in, looking terrified after hearing his wife's screams, but when he spied her alive and well with their son he grinned and hurried over to them.

Allison left the couple alone, while Anders washed his hands with water warmed by the fire.

He dried his hands on a cloth and sighed deeply.

Allison didn't care that her face was wet with tears. She threw her arms around him.

"Anders that was amazing! You were incredible. I can't believe you did that!" she cried, hugging him.

Anders chuckled, feeling happy and oddly free. "You were amazing too. It was wonderful to have your help."

Allison pulled back to look at his face. So many feelings were flooding her that she didn't know what to do or say first.

Anders wiped the tears from Allison's face. She was smiling up at him and he thought she had never looked more beautiful.

Anders pulled her close and kissed her, feeling incredibly close to her.

Allison kissed him back, her fingers tangling in his hair.

When they pulled apart there were unspoken words between them that were too powerful to be said in front of others.

As it was, Tom and Greta's other children were making noises of disgust when they saw the grown-ups kissing.

Anders laughed at the children and Allison blushed.

They walked back to the bedroom and saw Tom and Greta huddled on the bed watching their newborn son's face.

Allison felt Anders' eyes on her and she looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking.

He looked sad and Allison didn't understand why.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly.

His jaw hardened and it seemed that he wouldn't answer at first. He looked at her for another long moment, the sadness still there.

"We'll talk about it later." he said and then entered the room to talk to the parents.

Allison stood back, wondering what had put that look on Anders' face.

Several hours later they were back at the clinic. Greta had gotten through the labor and birth and was in perfect health as was little Feydan.

Allison watched Anders hang up his robe. He had been solemn ever since they had left Tom's house.

"Anders, talk to me. What's going on?" Allison asked.

Anders had his back to her but she saw his shoulders stiffen before he turned to face her.

"I saw your face today, over at Tom's house, when they were with the baby." he replied.

Allison was confused. "You saw my face? You saw it do what exactly?" she asked.

Anders stared at her, his countenance was bitter. "I saw how happy you looked and then you looked at me and I…I realized that I've been a fool."

Allison did not like the turn this conversation was taking. "What does that mean? Why are you talking like that?"

Anders scrubbed his face with his hands. "It means that I was an idiot for thinking that I could be with you. I can't give you anything you deserve!" he said angrily.

Allison opened her mouth and then closed it. He wasn't making any sense.

Allison made a time-out sign with her hands which she was sure meant nothing to him. "Ok, you need to slow down and explain this to me. I don't know what you mean Anders." she said.

Anders leaned over the table, placing his weight on it because he felt too weary to stand; weary because he knew that his dreams of being with Allison had been pure fantasy.

"I haven't told you everything about being a Gray Warden. There are…complications, things I should have said upfront. After today, I see that I was fooling myself." he said.

Allison suddenly felt very alone. Anders was across the room, refusing to face her and now there was some insurmountable obstacle he believed would be the end of them.

She tried to scan her knowledge of the Gray Wardens. She had read a book in the early days of her arrival that went over some facets of the order. What could Anders be talking about?

The answer came to her on the heels of the question. It was something she had avoided talking about because she honestly couldn't handle the thought.

Anders was dying.

Allison had read that the taint from the darkspawn basically killed the Wardens over time. She had pushed those thoughts from her mind because the thought of Anders going into some dark place to fight until he died was heartbreaking and she couldn't go there.

She had to face it now.

Allison walked up behind him. She wanted to touch him but she was afraid that he would push her away.

"I know about the taint." she said softly.

Anders straightened and turned around, a bewildered look on his face. "What?"

"I know what the darkspawn taint is doing to you." she repeated. "I know that it's killing you." Her voice broke a bit on those last words.

Anders pondered her words. "And how did you find out about that?"

Allison tried to smile and failed. "I read it of course; in one of your books."

Anders nodded. "I see. Well, while it's true that the taint does cause early death, that wasn't what I was talking about."

Allison blinked. "You don't think that's important?" she said, completely astonished that he could speak so casually of his death.

Anders sighed. "It is important, however, Justice has a theory. He believes that his presence in my body will extend my life, nullifying the taint in that way."

Allison gasped. "Really? Why does he think that?"

"He's going by the fact that he was able to reanimate Kristoff's body after death. He believes that the only reason he couldn't stay in Kristoff was because he was already a corpse; the body was decaying. But even so, he was able to access Kristoff's memories and feelings. Justice believes that he can keep me alive. We don't know how long but he thinks that the taint will not kill me." Anders explained.

Allison felt so happy, so relieved that she flung herself at Anders. His skin felt warm and alive and she smiled against his cheek.

Anders wanted to return Allison's embrace more than anything but he had something to tell her, something she needed to know. And he knew that once he told her the truth, she would pull away from him for good.

He took hold of her arms and pushed her back gently. "Don't. I need to tell you something."

Allison's face fell. So that hadn't been the bad news. She waited for him to speak.

Anders could see his future sinking before his eyes. "When I said that I saw your face today, I was talking about how you looked when you saw the baby. You looked so happy. Your face was glowing and then you looked over at me." Anders forced himself to meet her eyes. "I can't have children."

Allison waited a beat. Her thoughts were jumbled and her feelings hadn't caught up yet. "What?"

The bitterness returned. "The taint, it causes problems. Gray Wardens can't have children after they've taken in the taint."

Allison didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry Anders."

Anders growled and shoved a bowl off the table. It clattered loudly in the empty room.

"Why are you apologizing to _**me**_? I just told you that I can't have children! You should be yelling at me for lying to you." he bellowed.

Allison flinched at his anger. "How did you lie to me?"

Anders grabbed her arms, trying to shake some sense into her. "I told you that we could be together. I made you believe that we could have a life, but I can't give that to you!"

Allison's teeth rattled a bit when he shook her but he didn't hurt her. "And you think that it's impossible to be happy without children?"

Anders let her go, staring down at her with a frustrated expression. "I think that you deserve someone who can give you everything you want. That isn't me and I'm sorry."

Allison tried to clear her head. "Ok, wait a minute. I don't know how things are here, but where I come from there are many people who have trouble conceiving and some of them are never able to have kids. It's sad but that doesn't mean that they can't enjoy a life together. Some couples adopt children and find happiness there. And besides, it's a little early for us to talking about having kids isn't it?"

Anders listened to Allison's speech and had no brilliant response.

Allison's lips pressed together in anger. "I'm curious, if the situation had been reversed; if I was the one who couldn't have kids, would you have dumped me?"

The question was preposterous in Anders' mind. "Of course not! I would be happy just _being_ with you."

Allison folded her arms. "Ok, so what makes you think that I'm any different from you? Hell, if it comes down to it we can adopt ok?" she snapped. Then she realized that she had sounded like they had made a big commitment. "I'm not saying that we're at that stage. There's still a lot of unresolved issues, so don't get me wrong."

Anders felt his gut untangle. It seemed that he was still surprised by the way Allison's mind worked.

He took a cautious step towards her. "I'm sorry. It's just that, I saw the way you looked at the baby and it broke my heart that I can't give that to you."

Allison closed the distance between them, linking her fingers with his. "Do you want to have children Anders?"

He looked away from her, afraid that she would see how wounded he was. "I…I never thought about it in the Circle because I knew it was impossible. After I escaped, I would dream about it sometimes, but then I became a Warden and it was impossible again. I think it became worse today because of you."

Allison caressed his cheek, the stubble a strange comfort to her. "Why?"

Anders looked into her eyes, seeing the future he wanted. "It was different when I wasn't with anyone, but now that you're here…I can look at you and see our children and it hurts."

Allison had never felt anything like what she was experiencing in that moment. Men from her world typically ran away from responsibilities and the very mention of kids scared them away. Anders was very different and his desire called to a part of her that she hadn't known existed.

She tugged the leather thong that held his hair back and placed it on the table so she could run her fingers through his blond hair.

"Well, our future is uncertain right now Anders. There are still some milestones in the man-woman relationship that we haven't reached yet. I just know that I want to be with you as long as I can. Let's just take things one day at a time ok?" she said massaging his scalp.

Anders closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, his hands rested on her hips. "I don't know what I'd do without you Allison. I thought that I was handling my life just fine before but now…I need you. I need to be with you."

Allison closed her eyes too. "I'm here, and I'm in no hurry to go anywhere."

Anders shifted and bent to pick Allison up in his arms. She squealed in alarm which made him grin.

He kissed her and pushed the bedroom door open with his foot, closing it behind them.

He put her on her feet by the bed and without breaking the kiss, began unfastening her jeans.

Allison helped by wiggling out of them and then pulled the hem of Anders' shirt out of his pants so she could run her hands over his bare chest.

Anders shivered at the touch and kicked his boots off. Shifting his weight, Anders laid Allison down on the bed, covering her with his body. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and Anders deepened the kiss.

He was feeling so much at once that he could barely catch his breath.

Allison pulled back to breathe and smiled up at him. "Does this mean that the wooing is over?" she teased.

Anders pushed her dark hair away from her face. "No. I just want to hold you tonight if that's alright."

Allison saw the fatigue etched in his face and the sadness that still lingered in his eyes. She wanted to erase it.

"That's fine." she said, but she pulled his shirt over his head so she could feel his skin.

Allison ran her hands over the muscles of his chest, feeling the texture of the hair sprinkled about. She kissed his shoulders and then his neck, feeling him jump at the contact.

She ran her lips over the stubble on his cheek, before finally kissing the mouth she loved so much.

Allison held Anders' face in her hands. "I'm glad that I came here because it brought me to you." she said with feeling.

Anders couldn't speak so he just took one of her hands and kissed it.

Allison wrapped her arms around him like you would a child and stroked his hair until she felt him relax. After a few moments his breathing became even and she knew that he was asleep.

She _was_ glad that she had been brought here. She just wished that she could see the future and if Anders was in it.


	21. Chapter 21 Unseen

***This was originally one long chapter but after asking around I decided to split it into one short chapter and one longer chapter. This is part one and it's short and serves as a transition and introduction to the next section.**

**Just a reminder that this is my take on the story so even though elements from the game appear, things won't follow the game plot. It's intentional so don't worry :D***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 21 – Unseen

Anders awoke at peace and very comfortable.

He knew before opening his eyes that Allison had gotten up already but her presence lingered in bed.

He had slept soundly, with no nightmares, not even the Gray Warden kind. She was like totem for him, keeping him from the darkness and giving him hope.

Anders got up and washed his face. He could hear Allison in the kitchen area moving various pots around.

He stepped out into the main room and found her brewing some tea. She looked up with a radiant smile and his heart tripped.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" she asked, pouring a cup of the tea and handing it to him.

"Extremely well. And you?" Anders took a sip and sighed happily.

"I was very comfortable, that is after I got the giant Warden who was drooling on me moved off." she said with her tongue in her cheek.

Anders gaped. "I do not drool!"

She shrugged. "If you say so."

Anders could hear Allison laughing to herself. He stepped up behind her, spun her around and kissed her laughing mouth.

Allison felt warmth from more than the fire. "Was that supposed to shut me up? Because it's not a very good incentive."

Anders grinned and kissed her again. "I'll have to think of something better."

She giggled and he had the strongest inclination to sweep her up and take her back to the bedroom. But he needed to visit Greta and the baby.

Regretfully he pulled away. "I have to go over to Tomwise's. Do you want to come?"

Allison was disappointed because she had things to do as well. "I'd love to, but I need to go and see Sandal today. Tell Greta that I'll come and see her soon ok?"

"I will." Anders agreed and bent down to kiss her nose. "Be careful."

"_I'm_ not the apostate, so _you_ be careful." Allison retorted.

Anders winked at her as he left.

Allison waited a beat t make sure he was gone and then gathered up the runes she had made, including the one for Isabela's dagger, Varric's necklace, and most importantly, the rune for Anders and put them in her backpack.

She had managed to practice a bit more and she had several kinds of fire runes as well as lightening, paralyzing, and armor runes for extra protection. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with them but she took them with her just in case.

In the way there, Allison stopped by a shop and bought some fresh fruit as a thank you.

The walk to Sandal's house was uneventful; the streets were now familiar to her.

Allison knocked on the door and Bodhan opened it, a smile already on his face.

"Haha! It's good to see you Allison. Sandal has been looking forward to your visit!" Bodhan ushered her inside.

Sandal stood there clapping his hands in delight and Allison grinned at the boy. She really did like him and his father very much.

She gave Sandal a hug. "Hi, how are you?"

Sandal squeezed her back. "Yay!"

He was obviously glad to see her. Allison didn't think that the friends she had left behind in Seattle had ever been quite so affectionate or welcoming. It was nice.

Allison pulled her backpack off. "Sandal, I brought some runes and I was wondering if you could enchant a dagger for a friend of mine? I'll pay you of course."

Bodhan tsked. "No you won't. You're a friend of the family and we help each other."

Allison was touched by their kindness. "Thank you. I mean it."

Sandal took her backpack digging through until he found the runes and the dagger.

"Enchantment!" he sang, making Allison happy that she had come since he found so much delight in it.

Sandal took her hand and brought her back to his enchanting apparatus to begin.

Allison took a seat and watched Sandal examine her runes. He seemed to be studying them as he turned them around in his hands. It actually made her nervous, like having a teacher grade a paper.

"Is it ok?" she asked anxiously.

Sandal studied them some more and then turned around with a grin. "Good."

Allison was more than happy with that and she relaxed.

She showed Sandal which rune she wanted to go in Isabela's dagger and he began the enchanting process.

Bodhan came over to watch. "You did a fine job on those runes Allison." he praised.

"Thanks Bodhan." Allison remembered her question about Varric's gift. "Bodhan, do you know of a place where I can buy a necklace that could have a rune put in it as a pendant?"

"Hmmm." Bodhan thought for a minute. "Actually I may have something for you, hang on."

The dwarf left the room and Allison heard the moving of furniture and the sound of various items being shuffled.

He came back carrying a necklace that looked like it was made out of chainmail.

"Wow! That looks so cool!" Allison cried.

Bodhan chuckled and handed the necklace to her. "As you can see, there's a place for a pendant to be mounted. Will that work for you?"

Allison looked the necklace over. She could totally see Varric wearing it. "It's perfect. Sandal, what do you think? Can this rune be put in this necklace?"

Sandal had just finished Isabela's dagger so he put it aside and handled the necklace. Allison handed him the rune she had made for Varric.

The boy nodded and turned back to the apparatus. After a few moments, there was a click and Sandal turned back with the rune perfectly mounted in the necklace.

"That was awesome Sandal! Thank you!" Allison embraced the dwarf, who laughed merrily.

Reaching in her bag, Allison took out the assortment of fruit. "I brought this for you to say thank you."

Sandal's eyes lit up and he quickly grabbed up something that looked like a pomegranate to Allison.

Bodhan watched his son affectionately as he devoured the fruit. "My boy loves those. We appreciate it."

"No problem." Allison replied. "Sandal? Can I come by later and bring you a staff to enchant for Anders?"

Sandal really liked Anders. "Feathers!"

Allison snickered. "Yes, he certainly has feathers."

Bodhan' eyes twinkled. "Sandal really liked your mage's coat."

"It is definitely something." Allison agreed. She remembered her extra runes then. "Bodhan, I have no idea what to do with these other runes I made. Any thoughts?"

Bodhan took a look at what she had left. "I think that Umbar would be interested in these for sure."

"Duh, I forgot." Allison smacked her forehead. "Good idea. I think I'll go over there after I leave here. Do you know what kind of price I should expect to get for these?"

"Oh yes, at least thirty silver each for the lower level runes and up to seventy-five silver each for the runes that paralyze." he answered. "And tell Umbar that I told you he'd give you a fair price."

"I will." Allison gathered up her belongings and ruffled Sandal's hair. "Thank you Sandal. By the way, do you happen to like cookies?"

Sandal clapped again. "Yummy."

"Well, I'm thinking of trying baking here so, if I can get a recipe to turn out, I'll bring you some ok?" she promised.

Sandal nodded enthusiastically.

Bodhan saw her out and Allison started on her way to the Gallows to see Umbar.

She kept to herself on the boat ride over and disembarked.

Allison didn't see Cullen but there was a Templar patrolling the grounds that looked intimidating.

He had a bald head and very light, very piercing blue eyes. But at the same time they seemed dead. He reminded her of a cold-blooded reptile and she avoided his gaze as she made her way over to the dwarven merchant.

Umbar greeted her. "Hello again. How's the enchanting?"

"Good, thanks. Bodhan sent me to you. He said you'd give me a fair price for these runes I made." Allison said, showing him the pouch.

Umbar took each rune stone out and inspected each one, much as Sandal had. It made her think of the first time she had made a sampler platter for a potential customer back home and she had waited to see if they liked the taste of her food.

The dwarf nodded. "These look good. And you still say that you made them yourself eh?"

Allison didn't get why it was so hard to believe. "Yes, and you can ask Bodhan yourself."

"No need, no need. I was just verifying." Umbar said. "I'll take the lot of them. And I suppose that good old Bodhan told you how much I should pay you so there's no need for me to try and haggle?"

"That would be correct." Allison said, glad to have the fatherly dwarf on her side.

Umbar grumbled but dug out the money, which ended up being several sovereigns. Allison was thrilled.

Umbar stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I'll take any others you make off your hands as well, especially the more complex runes. You could make good money."

"Thanks, I'll keep it in mind." Allison agreed.

As she walked back to the boat, she thought that maybe it would be alright to spend some money and make Anders a real meal. A good piece of beef, a nice sauce, some fresh bread; it could be really nice.

That thought lightened her steps. She would also stop by the Hanged Man to give Varric and Isabela their presents. She hated waiting and she wanted to see their faces.

What Allison _didn't_ see was Umbar approaching the Templar with the dead blue eyes. The Templar listened as the dwarf told him about a strange young woman who could make runes.

The Templar watched the woman board the boat back to the mainland. He called over a young recruit and ordered him to follow her to her destination and then report back with any information he could get about her.

Alrik always loved a new hunt.


	22. Chapter 22 What The Heart Knows

***Super nervous about this chapter. Please don't yell I'm already a mess of anxiety***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 22 – What The Heart Knows

Allison stepped into the Hanged Man and was greeted by a few regulars. It was a little disconcerting to know that she had been in Thedas long enough to be recognized. It made her a little sad.

Seeing Varric and Isabela playing cards at a table perked her up though. She could hardly keep the grin off her face as she walked over.

Isabela smiled and then gave Allison a look. "Why are you bouncing like that?"

Varric agreed. "You look like you've got ants up your lovely pants Denim."

Allison knew they were right, she was bouncing. "I have something for you guys. Can we go up to one of your rooms?"

Isabela sprang up. "Ooh, I love presents!"

Varric stood and motioned for them to follow him upstairs.

They went to Varric's room and Allison decided to give him his present first. She frowned as she realized she had forgotten something.

"Oh crap, I forgot to wrap it!" she muttered.

Varric laughed. "It's fine kiddo, we don't stand on ceremony here."

Allison reached into her bag and took out the necklace, feeling like her stomach was full of angry butterflies.

Varric gave a low whistle. "This is for me? Wow Allison, I don't know what to say."

Out of nervousness she started explaining quickly. "I made the rune especially for you. Since you use a crossbow I figured that you were vulnerable to people getting close to you and from other guys who use bows. This rune will make a barrier that protects you from all that."

Varric's grin was wide as the Cheshire cat and just as pleased.

"This is great Allison. And where did you get this necklace? It'll go great with the hair on my chest." he said touching the silverwork with his fingers.

"Bodhan helped me so you can thank him for that. Of course the chest hair is all you." Allison teased.

Varric bowed. "Thank you. Seriously, thanks for thinking of me like that."

Allison was still bouncing as she pulled out the dagger for Isabela.

Isabela looked bewildered by the gift as she studied the bronze work on the hilt.

"You made this for me?" she said quietly.

Her tone made Allison respond just as softly. "You've been a great friend to me Isabela. Probably the best I've ever had. I thought that you could use this if you got in trouble fighting up close. The rune will throw the person you're fighting backwards and it's also designed to suck out some of their health and give it to you." Allison paused. "I didn't want anything to happen to you."

Isabela wouldn't look at her and Allison didn't know why. "Do you hate it?" she asked meekly.

Isabela's face scrunched up in a strange expression and Varric started laughing until he couldn't breathe.

Allison didn't know what was so funny. "Why are you laughing? If she hates it, it's not funny!"

Varric tried to speak between bursts of laughter. "She doesn't hate it Allison, she loves it. In fact, Rivaini is trying really hard to not cry. That's why her face looks so weird." And Varric laughed harder.

"Varric I'm going to gut you, you stupid, short, hairy little ass!" Isabela threatened. It just made the dwarf laugh harder.

Allison didn't care what Varric did. It only mattered that Isabela liked the gift. "So you don't hate it?"

Isabela struggled to get a hold of herself. She was completely horrified that something like this could make her eyes sting. It was just that no one had given her a gift in a long time, especially one that didn't come with strings attached.

She forced herself to look Allison in the eye and when she did, she saw friendship and genuine affection.

"Oh hell!" she muttered and grabbed Allison roughly around the waist. "Thank you. It's ridiculously sappy, but thank you."

Allison knew that the pirate was trying to appear tough and it was fine because that was part of who Isabela was.

"I won't tell anyone you cried." Allison promised.

"I did not cry! And if you ever say anything about this…" Isabela said through gritted teeth.

Allison put her hands up. "Say anything about what?"

Isabela nodded. "I'm glad we understand each other."

Varric finally had control of himself. "You'll get no such promise from me Rivaini."

Isabela smiled maliciously. "Varric, I'd hate for you to lose your trigger finger…"

That sobered the dwarf and he glared at Isabela, while holding Bianca protectively.

Allison's heart was so full that she just wanted to hug them both but there had been enough of that for one day.

"So, did you make Anders' rune yet?" Isabela asked, still holding her new dagger.

"Yes. I made a dozen before I settled on what I wanted for him. I'm actually going to take the staff from you today and have Sandal enchant it." Allison replied. "Maybe I should put a bow on it before I give it to him though."

Varric put on his new necklace and looked at himself in the looking-glass. "Oh yea, this looks good."

Isabela was cheerful too. "Let's go have a drink…well not you Dear but Varric and I will drink for you."

The trio returned downstairs where Isabela ordered a bottle of wine.

"I should show you how to play Wicked grace while you're here. You can get a set of cards so you and Anders have something to do instead of having sex." Isabela offered with a cackle.

"Shut up. You're such a skeez Isabela." Allison said, sticking her tongue out at the pirate.

Isabela loved the word and tried it out herself, saying that she would add it to her vocabulary.

While Isabela was showing Allison how to play, Varric felt eyes on them. Keeping his head down, he glanced over towards the front of the tavern and saw why the hair on the back of his neck was standing up.

Leaning casually close to the ladies, Varric got their attention.

"Don't look now but we're being watched by a Templar." he said under his breath.

Allison froze and fought the urge to turn around and see who it was.

Isabela spoke normally. "Don't do that Dear. Just relax and let me take care of it."

Isabela got up and meandered over to the Templar. He was young, obviously a recruit.

She whispered something in his ear and the young man turned beet red and then white as a sheet before turning quickly and almost running into the door in his hurry to escape.

Isabela sauntered back over to the table and took her seat.

Allison stared at her. "What in the world did you say to him to make him run like that?"

Isabela looked coy. "I may have suggested that he had caught Varric's eye, and that our dwarf was interested in a threesome that would require a lot of oil."

Varric bristled. "Thanks for putting me in there."

"Call it revenge for earlier." Isabela replied sweetly.

Allison wasn't satisfied. "But why was he here?" she asked, fearful for Anders. "Was he looking for Anders?"

Varric shook his head. "I don't think so. His attention was mainly on you, although he was giving Isabela and I a good look too."

Isabela didn't like that. "He was watching Allison? What the hell for?"

"I don't know but we should tell Anders." Varric suggested.

"Uh uh, no way!" Allison said standing up. "He worries enough without adding Templars into it. Maybe Cullen sent him to follow me. I didn't see the Knight-Captain but it's possible I missed him."

Varric waved her down. "Ok, ok. Don't get upset. Just be careful ok. Blondie wouldn't take it well if something happened to you."

Allison dismissed his statement. "I wouldn't do well if something happened to _him_, so let's just keep a lid on this so he doesn't get all bent out of shape and glowy with Justice."

The mention of Justice was enough to make Isabela and Varric consider her request seriously.

Isabela nudged her. "Maybe we should set up a time for me to teach you how to use that blade you've got though."

"Ok, we'll do it soon, I promise. Right now I need to go grocery shopping. I want to make a special meal for Anders." Allison said getting to her feet.

Isabela rose as well. "Let me get that staff for you."

Allison thanked her when she returned with it. "I'll see you guys later."

"Take care Denim." Varric called after her. He looked at Isabela, concern evident on his face. "Are you sure we shouldn't tell Anders?"

Isabela frowned. "For now we'll just keep more of an eye on our girl, alright?"

Varric nodded. He hoped that would be enough.

Allison went back to Sandal's first. Bodhan found a strap that kept the staff at her back for carrying so her hands were free.

It was odd but no one questioned her for having a mage's staff. Of course Anders was known in parts of Lowtown so maybe no one wanted to give a healer who cured the poor any trouble.

Allison went to a shop in Lowtown that advertised having fresh meat that _wasn't_ dog. Inside the owner had cuts of beef, hanging from hooks.

She picked a cut that would make good steaks and had the merchant cut them up for her. After that she swung by an herbalist she had gone to before and picked up some spices for a sauce. She even managed to find a farmer who was selling fresh butter. All in all it was great haul.

She was excited to finally get to cook something amazing for Anders. She knew that it had been a long time since he'd had anything like a steak, if ever.

Allison returned to the clinic but Anders hadn't returned yet. That was fine as it would give her time to prepare the meal.

Allison felt genuinely happy and that was new. She wasn't sure how long it would last so she figured she'd enjoy it.

Hiding Anders' present, Allison prepared the pots and pans, and got down to what she did best.

When Anders came home the scents that hit his nose made his mouth water like a man dying of thirst.

He could have sworn he smelled sizzling meat, real meat. He left his staff in the corner and took a few steps towards the fire that Allison was tending.

"What is that?" he asked in wonder.

Allison looked up, pleased to see him. "It's dinner." she said happily.

Anders peered into the pot and saw a bubbling kind of sauce. There was also a skillet with what looked to be thick cuts of beef.

"How did you get all of this?" he asked, feeling his stomach grumble in hunger.

Allison looked slightly worried. "I hope you don't mind. I sold some of the runes I made and I wanted to do something special. I know we could have saved the money but I figured, how often do you get steak?"

Anders smiled. "Allison, it's your money, you can do whatever you like with it. You didn't need to spend it on me."

She looked away. "I wanted to."

Anders was touched by all the work she had put into the meal. "Do you need any help?"

"No, I've got it. Just clear off the table because everything's ready." she answered.

Anders moved some books and potion bottles, to make room for the food.

Allison loved plating a good meal but there wasn't much to work with. She placed a steak on each plate and then cut open a vegetable that could replace potatoes in the classic meal. She cut pats of butter on it and then poured the rich sauce over the steak. She settled for garnishing the plate with bright green sprigs of parsley as a flourish. She carried the plates over to the table and waited for Anders' reaction.

"This is incredible. It looks wonderful!" he gushed. His eyes sparkled with anticipation and Allison sat down, more interested in watching him eat then in her own meal.

Anders cut into the tender cut of meat and when it first hit his tongue he thought he had died and gone to the Maker.

Allison watched as Anders' eyes rolled up into his head and he moaned in delight. She thought she might start bouncing again.

She took a taste herself and had to say that she had done pretty damn well for being in the dark ages.

It was a true pleasure watching Anders eat and she thought she would never get tired of feeding him because he enjoyed it so much.

"You're much more fun to cook for than my customers back home." she commented finally when he had scraped the plate.

Anders sat back, fully satisfied. "I have never had so grand a meal in my life! Thank you so much for that. It was perfect. You have real talent; a gift."

"Thanks." she replied. The meal couldn't have gone better.

They both jumped when there was a knock on the door. It was late for callers.

Allison frantically thought back to the Templar but she knew that she hadn't been followed home.

Anders gestured for her to stay back as he grabbed his staff. He opened the door but Allison couldn't see who was there.

Anders came back and unfolded a piece of paper. His face changed immediately and Allison knew that something was wrong.

"What is it?" she asked.

When Anders looked back at her he was different. There was a stiffness about him and he looked somber.

"I have to go." Was all he said.

"Wait a minute! You can't just go running off in the middle of the night. Where are you going?" she stepped in front of him.

"I have a friend who needs my help. I've been waiting to hear from him and now he's sent word." Anders explained.

"Who? What friend?" Allison asked insistently.

"His name is Karl. We were friends back in the Circle. I've been looking for a way to rescue him from the Gallows and it looks like tonight is the night." he said quickly, moving her to the side.

"What! You're going to the Gallows! You can't!" Allison shouted. "Are you crazy?"

Anders cupped her chin. "Don't worry. He's meeting me at the Chantry. It will be safer there. I'm going to get Isabela and Varric. They've been expecting this and they'll help me get him out."

Allison knew there was no stopping him. "Please be careful Anders."

Anders stared into her eyes for a long moment and then bent down to kiss her. "I'll be back. I promise."

Allison opened her mouth to say something more important but it wouldn't come. "Anders I…you better keep your word or I'll come after you."

He grinned and that was the last thing she saw before he closed the door.

**Outside the Chantry…**

Varric looked around in the dark, peering at every shadow.

"This doesn't make sense Blondie. Why would Karl want you to come to the Chantry of all places?"

Anders tried to quiet his own doubts. "It's the only place he could get to. We've been waiting for an hour and we haven't seen any Templars. Please, just help me get Karl out of the city."

Isabela was done with waiting. "Let's just go already!" she hissed. "Either he's in there waiting or it's a trap. Waiting out here isn't going to do any good."

Varric threw Isabela a disgusted look. "It matters if we _die_."

Anders hushed them both. "Everything will be fine. Karl is one of my oldest friends. I trust him. Let's go."

Anders pushed the doors to the Chantry open. It seemed that every sound was amplified that night and he winced when the doors groaned open.

The three of them stopped and you couldn't even hear a breath as they waited for some sort of sign that they were being tricked.

There was nothing.

They walked cautiously through the large, vaulted room. The giant statue of Andraste looked ominous even in the low light.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Varric whispered. "I'm telling you, something isn't right."

Anders refused to listen. "And I'm telling you that Karl would never set me up. It will be fine Varric, just relax."

They crept up the stairs that led to the quarters in the back of the chantry. They paused there for a moment, listening.

Anders spied movement and froze before recognizing the gray beard that Karl always wore.

He went to move but Varric and Isabela grabbed him.

"It's fine. It's Karl. I can see him. C'mon!" Anders slipped away leaving Isabela and Varric to swear quietly.

Anders approached his friend, a smile ready. "Karl! I'm so glad you made it! I was worried when I didn't hear from you for so long."

Karl didn't turn around but his voice floated over to Anders' ears and it set his teeth on edge.

"Anders. I knew you would never give up. You were always so reckless, so foolish." Karl stated, his voice monotone.

Anders stiffened. "Why are you talking like that? What's wrong?" but a part of him already knew the terrible truth.

His friend, a man who had kept him from going insane at the worst times in the Circle, turned to face him and Anders felt the floor fall out from under him.

A fresh brand marred Karl's skin. The brand of the Tranquil.

"No!" Anders shouted.

Karl looked almost puzzled. "Why do you look at me like that? You should have known that this would happen. Mages are dangerous. We need to learn our place."

Anders fell to his knees, his eyes burning with tears. "Karl…I'm so sorry. I was too late!"

The man who used to be his friend merely tilted his head. "You'll see Anders. Let the Templars show you the way."

Isabela swore hotly as a dozen Templars poured out of the side rooms.

"He betrayed you!" she yelled.

Varric readied his crossbow and aimed it at the descending Templars.

"Don't fight it Anders. Just give in." Karl droned.

Anders heard Justice roar in his head and he knew that he was lost. But he welcomed it.

He felt a burst of heat as Justice broke forth.

Blue light flashed and blinded the Templars.

"**You will never take another mage as you took him!"** Justice boomed.

Justice let the anger and hurt consume him and then channeled it into a fire that devoured three Templars before they could even get close.

Isabela went into action, stabbing one Templar in the back before slitting another one's throat.

Varric unleashed Bianca on them, propelling some back and impaling two Templars with arrows.

Justice wielded the staff with a vengeance powered by rage and grief. Anders was buried but he and Justice shared the pain.

With a mighty shout Justice sliced through one Templar and then flung lightening at the remaining ones, turning them into puddles of flesh on the once pristine floors.

Weak from using so much magic, he collapsed again, allowing Anders to come back.

Anders took deep, shuddering breaths, holding his head in his hands as Justice shouted inside him. He barely felt Varric and Isabela trying to get him to his feet.

"C'mon Blondie." Varric called, shaking Anders a bit. "C'mon back now."

Anders struggled but it was the sound of Karl's voice that got through because it sounded the same as in the old days.

"Anders! How did you do that? It was like you brought a part of the Fade into our world; like it lives inside you!" Karl exclaimed.

Anders stumbled forward and grasped Karl by the arms. Could it be? Had the Tranquility been cured?

"Karl? Are you alright now? You sound fine." Anders asked. He tried to use magic to sense anything different in his friend but he was drained.

Karl shook his head sadly. "No my friend. I can feel it creeping back on me even now."

Karl looked entreatingly into Anders' anguished face.

"Please Anders…you don't know how terrible it is. They tell mages that the Tranquil feel nothing but it's not true! Outside we speak like simpletons but inside it's like a waking death. Please…please kill me Anders! Before it returns!" Karl begged.

Anders felt a sick chill seeping through his bones. "I can't Karl. Please don't ask me to do that." Anders' voice broke.

Karl's face contorted in pain. "Please! If we were ever friends, don't doom me to this life! It's coming…please Anders!"

Varric put a gentle hand on Anders arm. "Blondie…you know what you need to do."

Anders' vision wavered as tears filled his eyes. He reached down and pulled out a small knife that he kept with him.

"Karl…I'm so sorry I was too late to help you." Anders said brokenly.

"Do it!" Karl screamed and then his face became blank once more. "Why do you look so distressed? Do you require a healer?"

It was that empty, soulless voice that propelled Anders to sink the knife into his friend's body. He held Karl as he sank to the ground and he watched his friend die.

Justice grieved within him as Anders got up and wiped Karl's blood off the knife.

Isabela didn't know what to say. "Anders…"

"Don't." he said. "Just…don't"

Varric felt helpless. "Should we take his body to bury?"

"No. That isn't Karl anymore. The Templars had already killed him before we got here." Anders said bitterly. "Search the bodies, take what you want. I'm going home."

Isabela started to speak but Varric stopped her. "Let him go."

Anders barely felt the pathways beneath his feet as he walked. It was as if he was disconnected from his body; he was barely conscious of where he was going, his feet moving on instinct.

It was a cold night but he didn't feel it. All he felt was sick, sick to his core. There was pain but it was so great that he was numb to it.

He focused on each step. Just one more step. Just one more step.

It seemed to take years for him to reach the clinic and when he did, it was all he could do to get the heavy door open and push it closed behind him.

"You're back!" Allison was dressed for bed and had been waiting up for him.

Anders heard a feminine voice speaking to him and he looked blindly.

Allison. It was Allison.

He tried to speak but only a guttural sound of anguish came out.

Allison ran as Anders fell to his knees. She caught him about the shoulders, frightened by the look on his face.

"Are you hurt?" she cried, checking him for some sign of injury.

He laughed in an almost wild way and that alarmed her even more.

"Am I hurt?" he repeated, laughing again. "Am I hurt?"

Allison grabbed his face and made him look at her. "Anders! What happened?"

Anders finally saw her then. "I killed him. I killed Karl."

Allison's eyes widened. "Why?"

Anders' head fell forward. "The Templars…I was too late. They made him Tranquil and then sent him to lure me into a trap. In the end, he begged me to kill him because being Tranquil was worse than death."

Allison knew the pain that Anders felt. She had felt it the day her parents died.

Allison put her arms under Anders' and tried to get him up. "C'mon. Come with me and we'll get you to bed."

Anders could barely feel his legs but he tried to help Allison get him to the bedroom.

She sat him down on the bed and began taking his boots off. He was so numb that he could only watch her. He was like a child.

Allison's hands were shaking. She knew that Anders was hurting badly and she didn't know what to do for him. Seeing him in pain like this was excruciating.

She got his boots off and then she removed his robe, tossing it to the other bed. She stripped his shirt off but she didn't know if she could manage to get his pants off without his help.

"Anders, I need your help here. Lift up for a moment ok?" she said, feeling more frantic as his glazed eyes watched her.

He did as she asked though and threw his pants in a pile with his robes and shirt.

She took his hair down as well and then pushed at his shoulders to make him lie down.

"Just stay there ok?" she ordered. Allison walked out to the main room and looked over Anders' supplies. She wasn't a healer but herbs were used in her world too and she knew that she had seen something here that could help.

She found an oil that she had seen before. It was reminiscent of lavender and it had the same calming properties.

She grabbed the bottle and ran back into the bedroom. Anders was lying on his back staring blankly up at the ceiling. He didn't acknowledge her presence at all.

It scared her.

"Anders, I'm going to roll you over onto your stomach ok?" she said, taking his shoulders and attempting to turn him.

He said nothing.

"Anders?" she called and touched his face.

In a move so fast she missed it, he had grabbed her arm in a bruising hold that made her cry out.

Light, like blue flames enveloped him and his eyes glowed with fury.

"**Don't touch me!" **Justice shouted at her.

"Whoa, whoa! Ok. Justice, it's me. It's Allison. I'm not going to hurt you." she said trying to reassure him.

Justice still had her arm in a tight grip. **"Why are you here? Leave us alone!"**

"I will _not_ leave either of you alone. I know what you're feeling so let me help you." she argued.

Justice squeezed his eyes shut. **"You cannot help us. It's our fault that Karl was taken. We were too late, we failed him."**

Allison resisted the urge to try and free herself and instead stayed calm. "Are you telepathic? Did you _know_ that the Templars were going to make Karl Tranquil? Are you omnipotent?"

Justice growled. **"No! But we should have tried harder to free him sooner."**

"Did Karl contact you and ask you to get him out? Did he tell you that he was in danger?" Allison reasoned.

Justice shook his head sadly. **"No. He did not. We had not heard from him in some time."**

"Ok. Then how were either of you supposed to know what was going on?" she concluded.

Justice released her. **"You do not understand. They used him as bait for us. If he had not been Anders' friend, the Templars would not have targeted him."**

Allison was silent for a moment while she thought. "Why were Karl and Anders friends?"

Justice smiled just a bit. **"Karl was independent, like Anders, but he had more control. Often he would try to talk Anders out of escaping but he never listened. And each time Anders was captured he would bring him food in the Tower while he was locked up. Anders admired him. Karl wanted freedom for mages but he was more patient. It was only recently that Karl felt it was time to escape because the Gallows is much more a prison than the Circle in Ferelden."**

"It sounds like Karl was a good man." Allison said, resting a hand on Justice's knee.

"**He was. A good man and a good mage." **Justice replied.

"And it sounds like it was his choice to try and escape which means that he knew the dangers involved and he accepted them." she continued.

Justice drew a shaky breath. **"Yes. But to be made Tranquil? It was not right."**

"No it wasn't and I'm so sorry you lost him like that." Allison consoled the spirit.

She made a quick decision not knowing how Justice would react to physical contact.

She sat on the bed next to him and put her arms around him, placing his head on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Justice."

She was surprised when he gripped her tightly and she could feel him fighting the tears. The blue glow died away and his body sagged against hers. Allison held him up and when he spoke, it was Anders again.

"They made me kill him. I had to kill him to save him." Anders lamented.

Allison stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth. "You did what he asked you to do and I can't imagine how terrible it must have been for you."

Anders felt as if he had been drained of all energy, so it was easy to let Allison lay him down on his stomach.

"Just relax. A few years ago, a friend of mind was in an accident and massage was really helpful so I took a short class to learn the basics." she explained. The explanation wasn't really needed since was Anders was barely aware of what was happening.

Allison grabbed the bottle of scented oil and at the last minute, opened up Anders' drawer and took out a hairbrush.

She straddled his back and poured some oil out onto her hands. She rubbed them together to warm the liquid and placed her hands on Anders' back. Using firm movements and setting a calm rhythm, Allison massaged his back, starting at his shoulders so the scent would reach his nose and start to relax him.

She started humming a piece by Brahms as she worked each muscle group. She could feel the tension in him and she focused on each knot until it loosened.

As she had anticipated, with each bit of physical release, the emotional pain was also released and she saw tears seeping from his eyes onto the pillow.

She bent forward and spoke into his ear. "It's ok to cry."

Allison picked up the hairbrush and began running it through Anders' hair. It was something her mother had done when she was very little and Allison had always found it calming. It was one of the good memories she still had left from her childhood.

She counted each stroke of the brush and by the time she had reached one hundred, Anders was asleep.

Allison climbed off his back as gently as she could so as not to wake him.

He murmured in his sleep. "Don't leave."

Allison capped the bottle and put the hairbrush away. She climbed back into bed with him, draping her arm and leg over him so he would feel her next to him.

He continued to sleep soundly and eventually Allison allowed herself to drift off.

Anders awoke to the scent of Saffris Blossums and blinked drowsily. It was still dark but there was a hint of the rising sun in the muted shadows.

He felt a light weight on his arm and leg and shifted to see Allison lying next to him.

It took a moment for his memory to come back and he squeezed his eyes shut at the images that had haunted his dreams.

Instead he put an arm around Allison's waist and drew her closer to him. She didn't wake and Anders nestled his face in her hair.

This was real. She was here with him. He wasn't alone.

Keeping her close, Anders slipped back into the Fade.

_The Chantry was lit with hundreds of candles. _

_Anders climbed what seem to be an endless set of stairs. He had to get to the top. Someone needed him._

_He heard a voice call out to him._

"_Help me! Anders help me!"_

_He started to run up the stairs. "I'm coming!"_

_He came to a group of columns and a legion of Templars stepped out to block him._

_The voice called to him again._

"_Help me!"_

_Anders' staff appeared in his hand and he leveled the army with a blaze of blue fire._

_There was a scream and Anders hurried towards the sound._

_At the top of the stairs Anders skidded to a stop._

_Karl was there, the brand of Tranquility mocking him._

"_You were too late old friend." Karl said in his old voice._

"_I'm sorry Karl. Forgive me." Anders begged._

_Another voice floated towards him._

"_Help me!"_

_Anders was confused. Who was calling him if not Karl?_

_To answer his question Karl turned and pointed._

_Behind him Anders could see a Templar holding a struggling woman. The Templar turned and it was Cullen._

_The Knight-Captain smiled grimly. "You were too late again."_

_In his grasp was Allison._

"_Let her go!" Anders screamed._

_Cullen shook his head. "You're too late."_

_The Templar wrapped his hand around Allison's neck and twisted savagely. She slumped and he dropped her lifeless body to the ground._

"_NO!" Anders raged. _

_Karl looked on sadly. "It's too late now Anders. She's gone."_

_Anders fell to his knee. "Please, bring her back."_

_Karl patted his head. "I'm sorry my friend. If only you had acted sooner."_

_Anders saw Allison's body; her open eyes staring at him and he begged. "Come back."_

"Come back!" he cried, his eyes snapping open.

Allison was stroking his head soothingly. "Hey, it's ok. You were having a bad dream."

Anders could feel his heart beating in his chest, his breath coming in short gasps.

He turned his head and she was there, looking at him with an anxious expression.

"You're here." he whispered.

"Of course I am. I'm not going anywhere." she said, kissing his forehead.

But Anders knew that she could. At any moment, whatever force that had brought her to him could decide to take her back.

He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't.

Still reeling from the pain of Karl's death and the memory of Allison's empty eyes in his dreams, Anders reached for her.

She sucked in a breath, surprised at his ardent reaction.

Anders shifted, pressing her into the thin mattress. His mouth devoured her desperately.

Allison could feel the turbulent emotions rushing through him and she wasn't sure what to do. He wanted her; that much was evident from the hardness of his body but her mind warned her that making love because of deep grief was not what he would really want once his mind was clear.

Allison pushed on his shoulders firmly. "Anders wait."

He pressed a hot kiss to her throat. "I need you." he whispered.

Part of her was tempted to just screw her inner voice and go with it, but Allison knew that she would regret it later. She would always wonder if he had come to her just because of Karl. And having their first time be about death was not a pleasant thought.

"You need to think Anders. Do you want this to be about loss and pain?" Allison asked, even though her head was spinning from his touch.

Anders paused, breathing heavily against Allison's skin. He ached so badly but her words got through to him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry." he said, feeling shame burn within him.

Allison clasped his face. "Don't feel bad. I understand needing to be close to someone when you're in pain. I don't blame you for being human."

Anders tried to calm his body. He kissed her, gently this time, the desperate passion abating.

He brought her wrist to his lips and stopped, staring at her skin with horror.

Her wrist was covered in deep bruises the shape of a man's hand.

"What happened to you?" he asked, anger covering the pain. "Who did this to you?"

Allison grimaced. She knew that telling him the truth would only hurt him more, but what could she say?

"It's nothing. You…or Justice I guess, grabbed me when I tried to lay you down. It's fine. I didn't even notice until you said something."

Anders blanched. "_I_ did this."

Justice's shame could be felt in Anders' mind.

Allison shook him. "Hey, I said it's no biggie. Stop beating yourself up about it."

A scathing rebuttal came to his lips but Anders pushed it down. Instead he let healing magic flow from his hand to Allison's wrist. The bruises disappeared, though he would never forget that he put them there.

"Thanks." she said, smiling up at him like was worthy of her affection.

"How can you look at me like that? How you just forgive me for hurting you?" he asked. The anger was still simmering because it was easier to feel.

"Please don't be like that. Don't hate yourself. You didn't do anything wrong with me or with Karl." Allison said, trying to make him listen.

Anders wanted to believe her but the weight of bereavement was still heavy.

Allison wrapped her arms around him and laid there in the quiet.

Anders felt Allison's acceptance in her embrace. He couldn't escape it. It was like a tide that continually washed against a rough stone until it was smooth.

"Thank you." he whispered.

Allison wanted to say the words that she couldn't get out earlier but she was afraid. She cursed her own cowardice even as she rose to get up.

"How about breakfast?" she asked, forcing a cheerful tone.

Anders grabbed his trousers and put them back on.

"I don't think I could handle food just yet." he said tiredly.

"Ok, then I'll make some tea and we'll start with that." Allison said, walking towards the door.

Anders reached out and caught her arm, being very careful not to hurt her again.

There were things he needed to say but he wasn't sure that she was ready to hear them. The words from his dream rang in his head; Karl's warning that he should have acted sooner. Maybe he needed to tell her what was in his heart.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing's wrong…I just need to tell you something." he began. "Will you sit for a moment?"

Allison sat back down again, folding her hands patiently in her lap.

Anders didn't think that he had been so frightened since his harrowing. Even Justice was feeling jittery. Allison's kindness towards the spirit had moved him and Justice was afraid that a declaration would make her run off.

In his head, Anders replayed the dream and Justice got the point.

"I don't know how to say this." Anders said, looking at the frayed blanket on the bed.

Allison didn't like those words but she remained patient. "Take your time and just say it when you're ready."

"How can I be ready for something that was never supposed to happen?" he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

Allison relaxed a little since he didn't seem upset. "What wasn't supposed to happen?"

Anders lifted his gaze and stared into Allison's eyes. "You. You weren't supposed to happen. How I feel about you wasn't supposed to happen."

Allison's heart thumped loudly in her ears. It felt like her life was about to change. "And how is that…exactly?"

Anders saw before him the woman who made him feel like he finally had a home. Everything about her called to him and touched a chord deep inside his soul.

He touched her hair and smiled, placing a curly strand behind her ear.

"I love you. I have for a while now but I was afraid to say it; afraid of opening myself up to pain. But now…I don't want to hold back anymore, and I need you to know how I feel."

Allison thought that perhaps she had stopped breathing because the room was spinning. Apparently Anders thought the same thing because he took her hands and rubbed his thumb over them in soothing circles.

"_Breathe_ Allison." Anders said, surprised that he could find humor in the situation despite the fact that Allison hadn't said anything yet.

Allison made an effort to fill her lungs with air and exhale. She had to say something. This was a defining moment in her life.

She swallowed and looked at Anders. He was waiting, trusting her not to break his heart.

She stood up suddenly. Anders blinked but she put her hands up. "Hang on a second." And she ran out of the room.

Anders didn't know what to think. He was still sitting there stupefied when Allison returned holding something behind her back.

She stood in front of him and held the object out to him.

Anders inhaled sharply. The staff was exquisite.

The curved ebony blade shone with dark beauty. The body was metal, cured to look like wood and then twisted into an intricate braid. On top sat a blue crystal orb that shimmered with energy.

Anders rose and took the staff from Allison's shaking hands. It felt good, like it belonged in his hands.

As he studied the design, Anders noticed a rune glowing with white magic.

Allison saw him inspecting the rune and finally found her voice.

"I made it for you. In your heart, you're a healer. It's what you were meant to do. Sometimes you have to fight and I couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to you."

She tried to keep her voice steady. "The rune is unique, one-of-a-kind, like you. When you heal someone, it won't drain any of your energy and the rune will create a field that will confuse anyone who tries to attack you. They'll turn on their fellow bad guys instead of you."

Allison felt her emotions getting the best of her so she looked at the floor so Anders wouldn't see her being an idiot. "I wanted to keep you safe because…I love you too."

She didn't know if a person was supposed to want to hurl after telling someone they loved them but her stomach was definitely queasy.

Anders had never felt freer _or_ more captive in his life. And the captivity was one he would choose a thousand times over. Allison held every part of him prisoner and he never wanted to be released.

He placed the staff on the bed and pulled Allison into his arms. The desperation was back but there was no pain with it now. There was just her.

Allison answered his seeking kiss with her own, reveling in the feel of his hard chest against her. He hadn't put his shirt on and she was glad.

The low morning light played against her skin and Anders sought to taste it with his tongue. Wrapping her legs around his waist, Anders laid them back down on the bed.

He was consumed by the need to feel her, to be with her.

"Please, let me touch you." he whispered urgently.

"Yes." Allison answered, and she knew that this time it was only about them. She wanted to laugh and she wanted to cry at the same time.

Anders ran his hand up her thigh, trying to slow down but fighting the urges of his body.

Allison kept her legs around him and grabbed a hand full of his hair, pulling his mouth down to hers. It felt like she had been waiting for this moment her whole life.

Anders felt a primal heat race along his spine when she tugged on his hair. He bent his head and bit lightly on her neck and shoulders. She panted and her hips jerked so he did it again.

Her shirt was in the way so he lifted her to a sitting position long enough to lift the shirt over her head before tossing it on the floor and laying her back down again.

Anders' breath was hot and moist against Allison's skin. She could feel him marking her and she didn't care.

Anders worked his way down her chest, licking and tasting everything; her breasts, her navel, her hips. He reached the waistband of her underwear and didn't pause. He simply hooked the elastic with his fingers and drew them off in one move.

Allison jumped when he touched her intimately and shivered when she felt his lips brush her thighs.

Anders wanted to explore every inch of her body, but his own was screaming at him for release.

He sat up and quickly unfastened his breeches and they joined Allison's shirt on the floor.

When he covered her body with his, time seemed to slow down. All he could see was her. All he could feel was her heartbeat.

Anders lay over her, looking down at her like she was something precious and Allison knew that this was meant to happen. The future could wait; _this_…_now_… was something special.

He watched her face as their bodies joined for the first time. The quickening of the breath, the arching of the back. They moved in sync, eyes open, each one staring at the other, memorizing every touch, every sensation.

Allison hadn't known that it could be like this. The fusing of two people. The feel of someone you love moving with you.

She closed her eyes because she had to; it was too much.

Anders body urged him to move harder, faster and Allison met him every step of the way.

When she cried out, her body coming of the mattress, Anders was with her, his own cry muffled by the pillow.

For a long time the only sound was ragged breathing.

Anders traced Allison's face with his fingertips, his lips ghosting over hers again and again.

What he had just experienced was nothing like his intimacies in the past. He was shaken to his core.

"I love you." he said for the second time.

Allison laughed quietly in wonder. "I'm still not used to it."

Anders kissed her temple and then her jaw. "I plan on saying it quite often."

"It'll be tough but I'll have to endure it I guess." she teased. Then more seriously. "Thank you."

Anders couldn't imagine why she was thanking him. "For what?"

Allison couldn't fully explain it. "For loving me."

Anders kissed her cheeks. "You're everything to me now."

She smiled. "What about the mage's cause?"

"I can do both." he assured her. "But, I just want to be with you."

Allison ran her hands over the length of his back, feeling the muscles flex under her touch.

"I don't want to think about time travel or other dimensions. I'm happy right now." she said.

When she yawned Anders' lips twitched in humor, and he turned so that her back was nestled against him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed the back of her neck.

"Go to sleep Love." he whispered.

Anders was fairly certain she muttered "I love you" drowsily before sleep overtook her.

As the Fade began to materialize in his mind, he held onto her as if his arms were enough to keep her in this world.


	23. Chapter 23 Plans

***This is the first of two, very small chapters that will serve as a transition in the story. Longer ones will again follow soon. **

**Thank you guys for being so patient and supportive while I've been sick again. I really appreciate all of you SO much!***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 23 – Plans

Allison opened her eyes to find warm honey-colored ones staring back.

A slow smile spread over her face and Anders' lips curved before they covered hers in a heated kiss.

"Good morning." he said softly.

"I don't think it's still morning, but hi all the same." Allison said with a laugh.

She figured that their sense of time might be a bit off considering that Anders had taken her several times more in between short moments of rest.

Warden stamina indeed. Isabela would have been pleased.

Anders kissed the pulse beating at her neck. "What can I do for you?"

Allison hugged him closer. "Nothing. This is perfect."

"I hope I didn't overwhelm you. I've been wanting you for so long that things got out of hand." he said sheepishly.

Allison just _had_ to tease him. She put on a slightly puzzled expression.

"Actually I was expecting a bit… more. Isabela said that she'd heard of a Warden who went almost thirty times. But don't worry." She patted his arm in comfort. "You did fine."

The look on Anders' face made her wish she had a camera.

His mouth fell open for several speechless moments.

"What!" he finally sputtered. "That's not true."

Allison started laughing and Anders raised an eyebrow before a devilish look passed over his face.

"Thirty times eh?" he repeated, his lip curling in a wicked smirk. "Well, I'd hate to disappoint."

He pinned her arms over her head before kissing breath out of her.

They didn't make it to thirty, but they had fun trying.

**At the same time, in an abandoned warehouse in the sewer district…**

The young Templar recruit made his report to Alrik.

The girl was human. No signs that she had dwarven blood. She had been seen with, what Alrik considered, a second-rate pirate and a slightly recognizable dwarf.

What caught Alrik's attention was that the recruit had not been able to sense any magic from her. That was impossible of course.

A human could _not_ manipulate lyrium in any way, and if this girl had found the means to do it then she must be using magic.

Alrik cuffed the recruit when he admitted that the pirate had chased him off.

His soulless blue eyes gleamed with malice.

"You should have been more careful. You'll be whipped for that." Alrik promised in a low voice.

"Yes sir. I'm sorry sir." The recruit said, trembling.

Alrik ignored the boy's simpering apologies and focused how he could draw the woman out.

The dwarf Umbar seemed to have a relationship with her. Perhaps he could use that to get her back to the Gallows. Then he would have her taken into custody and questioned. He would see to _that_ part personally.

"Return to your post." Alrik ordered.

He studied the dank warehouse. Perhaps he could bring the woman here instead. No one would hear her screams and if they did, they wouldn't care.

The Templar tried not to get ahead of himself but he did so enjoy interrogations.

Soon. Soon enough he would have her. And then she would tell him all of her secrets.

He had plans to make.


	24. Chapter 24 A Dark Purpose

***Another small chapter to continue the transition and deal with a subject that has to be addressed to keep the story realistic***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 24 – A Dark Purpose

**A week later…**

Isabela was still harassing Allison for details on what it was like to have sex with Anders. They were in her room at the Hanged Man, while Varric and Anders were on a job. They had been gone for over a day and Isabela and Allison had been keeping each other company.

"Oh c'mon! Just _tell_ me!" Isabela whined. "I've heard that Wardens have a _piercing_ on it. Is it true?"

Allison made a face. "Isabela, please. Just give it up. I'm not talking about it."

Isabela put her hands on her hips. "I guess it wasn't that good then."

Allison took offense. "It was incredible. Amazing, actually, so just shut up! He's gorgeous…"

Isabela nodded and smirked and Allison realized that she had fallen for an obvious ploy.

"I hate you." she grumbled.

Isabela laughed heartily. "No you don't, but I got you." Isabela sat next to Allison on the bed. "What's wrong dear? You seem out of sorts."

Allison frowned unhappily. "I don't know." She hopped up uncomfortably. "Oh crap, I think I need to pee."

Isabela gave her a funny look. "There's a fresh chamber pot behind the screen. Go to it."

The pirate could hear Allison muttering something about "stupid medieval, backwards" something's and then she heard Allison gasp.

"Oh God! Oh no!" Allison wailed.

Isabela jumped up and went to stand outside the privacy screen. "What is it? Are you ok? Are you sick?"

She could hear tears in Allison's voice when the girl answered her miserably.

"I got my period! What the hell am I supposed to do with _this_ here in freakin', Dark Ages Thedas!" Allison cried.

"Your period? _Oh!_ You mean your river's running? Hold on, I've got a cloth." Isabela called.

A hand reached and handed Allison a thick piece of fabric that reminded her of a pad but it was bulkier. Isabela reached around again and handed her a bowl of water.

"Clean up and then put that on it. You'll be fine." Isabela assured her in an almost motherly tone.

Allison was mortified but she did what Isabela told her. After a few minutes she stepped out, her head down.

Isabela patted her on the back. "There now, you ok?"

Allison glared at her even though she was beyond grateful that she had been with Isabela when this happened.

"I'm not ok. I can't believe that I didn't anticipate that this would happen. Ugh! And now I have to deal with this crap for five days? It was bad enough back home where I had Midol and tampons." Allison growled.

Isabela raised an eyebrow. "Well, I don't know what Midol and tampons are, but I always like a good drink when it's my time." Isabela belatedly remembered that Allison didn't drink and winced. "Never mind. Maybe Anders has something that can help?"

The thought of Anders just made it worse. "Oh man. Now there's Anders too."

Isabela laughed. "I do believe that you recently helped Anders deliver a _baby_, so I think it's safe to say that he knows about woman issues."

"True." Allison conceded with a sigh. "Is there a place I can buy some of those cloths?"

Isabela reached into her dresser. "Here, take some of these. Do you remember Lirene?" When Allison nodded she continued. "Go to her and she'll help you out."

"Ok, thanks." Allison hugged Isabela. "Sorry I was so snappish. You saved me from acute embarrassment."

Isabela winked and shooed her out.

Allison stopped by Lirene's and then went home. Anders wasn't back from the job yet so she laid down and closed her eyes, wishing for sleep.

About an hour later, Anders walked into the clinic, glad to see it empty. The job had gone well but he had missed Allison. He didn't like being away for so long.

Anders smiled as he put his new staff away. Allison would be pleased to know that it worked extremely well. He still couldn't believe that she had done that for him. The thought of her made his steps quick as moved towards the bedroom.

As Anders got closer he heard moaning and the shuffling of the bed covers. Concerned, he stepped inside and found Allison curled up in a ball on the bed. The sounds were coming from her.

Anders ran over and kneeled next to her. "Love, what is it? Are you hurt?"

He was about to scan her with magic when she responded with a groan. Her head was buried in the pillow.

"Just leave me alone, please." she begged.

Anders was alarmed now and he turned her over so that he could see her. "You're in pain. What happened?" The order to answer was clear in his tone.

Allison bared her teeth which made his eyes widen. A sudden, instinctive caution overcame him but he couldn't quite tell why. Anders felt a slight urge to back away slowly. He almost put his hands up.

"You happened!" Allison shouted. "You stupid men! If it wasn't for men, women wouldn't have to through all of this crap! Stupid cycle of life my ass."

Understanding dawned and Anders immediately knew what was wrong. "Ah, I see."

He put a gentle hand on Allison's face. "Your monthly time is here? It's alright, I can help."

Allison peered up at him with a doubtful expression. "How?"

Anders smiled and kissed her forehead. "First tell me, how bad are the cramps?"

Allison grimaced in humiliation. "Bad."

Anders nodded and she noticed that his face was very much the way it was when he was with a patient. He was professional and considerate.

"And does your back hurt?" he asked.

"Yes." she muttered.

Anders knew it would be very dangerous for him to laugh just then, but Allison's terse one word answers and antagonized demeanor was so different from her normal personality that Anders couldn't help but find it a little funny.

Of course, her being in pain was not funny so he got down to business.

"I'm going to make a pot of tea. I have a blend of herbs that will help to keep cramps at bay and then I'll make your back feel better."

Allison watched him walk out and punched the pillow, grumbling words that she would never say normally.

Anders caught the tail-end of her venting when he returned and he was impressed by her inventiveness.

"Here Love, drink this and then turn over onto your stomach."

Allison sniffed at the drink and wrinkled her nose. "No way. That smells disgusting, like old eggs."

Anders' face became stern. "Drink it. Now."

Allison's mood was such that she was looking for a fight, so she glared at him mulishly. "No."

Anders told himself not to let his lip so much as _twitch_, but he wanted to laugh out loud.

Allison was daring him quite openly to do something about it and it was adorable, and Anders knew that adorable was _not _the look she was aiming for.

He leaned closer, their noses almost touching. "Drink it, or I'll pour it down your throat myself."

Her eyes narrowed. "Try it."

He just looked at her and she finally snatched the drink from him and swallowed.

Allison thought that old eggs had been too nice, and that maybe describing the tea as tasting like old socks would be better.

Anders watched her make a wide variety of faces until she finished all of it. He took the cup and set it on a table.

"Now turn over." he ordered.

"You're extremely bossy." Allison complained as she laid on her stomach.

"And you're extremely stubborn." Anders returned. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "And I love you."

That seemed to take the steam out of her because she relaxed under his hands.

Anders let the magic flow from his hands into her back. In his mind he could see the pain and he sent the healing light to soothe and calm it.

The tea began to take effect as well and Anders heard Allison sigh in relief.

He smiled and kissed the base of her spine. "There. Is that better?"

"Mmhmm…_so_ much better. Thank you Anders." Allison murmured sleepily.

He chuckled. "The tea is making you drowsy. Go to sleep and I'll have something for you to eat when you wake up."

She mumbled something he didn't understand, so he tucked the blanket around her and stepped outside.

Anders had an idea about what would make Allison feel better when she awoke, so he slipped out of the clinic and made a short trip to the upper level of the city.

When he came back, Allison was still asleep.

Anders went to the kettle and heated up some milk.

About half an hour later he heard her beginning to stir. He poured the drink into a mug and went inside.

Allison blinked sleepily but she felt rested and definitely less pissy.

Anders walked over to the bed, a kind smile on his face. "How are you feeling?"

Allison felt contrite. "I'm sorry about that. I get pretty mean around this time. The tea was really helpful. Thank you."

Anders _did_ laugh then. "You call _that_ mean? Sweetheart, I lived in the Circle, surrounded by female mages. When their monthlies came you faced more than a dressing down. You were in danger of being incinerated or thrown into a wall."

Allison laughed. "Lucky them. There have been times that I wished I could blow someone up."

"Maybe this will help." Anders said, offering her the mug.

Allison shook her head and scooted backwards on the bed. "No thanks. The tea is still working. I don't need anymore."

Anders laughed. "It's not the tea, I promise. I went out and got you something."

At that Allison took the mug and smelled the contents. Her face displayed disbelief before she sipped it.

Her face lit up and Anders grinned.

"Chocolate? You've got chocolate here?" she squealed as she drank out of the cup. "You made hot chocolate for me?"

Anders bowed his head. The trip had been worth the happiness on her face. "I wanted to see you smile."

Allison put the mug down and threw her arms around him. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Anders kissed her softly. "A man has to think quickly when his life is in danger." he teased.

"It was never _actually_ in danger. I'm all talk mostly." Allison said.

"I won't tell anyone." he said, his eyes alight with humor.

Allison considered him for a moment. "I've never lived with anyone before. It's different having someone around like this."

Anders nodded. "I'm glad for it. I've spent enough of my life alone or separated from others." He kissed her nose.

"We'll see what you say after five days of this." Allison warned him.

Anders whistled. "Five days you say? I better make a bigger pot of tea."

Allison punched him lightly. "I wouldn't if I were you."

Anders handed the mug back to her. "Drink your chocolate."

He thought she looked like a delighted child as she sipped the drink, then she moaned in satisfaction and his thoughts turned to more adult matters.

He put a stop to that immediately. Five days she said. He wished there was a tea that could help _him_.

**Meanwhile in the Gallows…**

Alrik finished writing a note to the dwarf, Umbar. It instructed the little weasel to construct a ploy that would get the girl back to the Gallows where Alrik's men could take her into custody.

The threat to Umbar's life if he failed was plain in the missive.

Alrik folded the letter, securing it with his own seal. The mark of wax was dark gray, and pictured the glorious Andraste surrounded by flames, holding the head of a mage aloft in victory.

It was the seal of the True Templars, _his_ Templars.

They had been operating underneath Knight-Commander Meredith's nose and even the pious Knight-Captain had no idea of their existence.

If a mage went missing it was easy to explain it away with the excuse that they had escaped. And when Alrik or one his Templars returned with the report that the mage had been found and killed, no one questioned it or needed the proof of a body.

Alrik was careful and he had been able to capture dozens of mages for his own personal amusement.

It went beyond that of course. Mages were a blight on Thedas and he intended to see each and every one of them destroyed. As it was, he derived much pleasure from forcing the Rite of Tranquility onto as many mages as he could.

The simpleton Cullen made things more difficult. The Knight-Captain required explanations for each rite and Alrik had been forced to let some of the mages go.

It was of no matter. Alrik had been carefully recruiting Templars who had dispositions that were useful to him; weak-willed individuals who were malleable and easily coerced. This method had given him his own personal army to do with as he pleased.

He had driven the fear of Andraste into the young men and each was convinced that magic was a curse and mages the bearers of the Maker's hatred. They did not question his orders nor did they inquire what he did to the mages he imprisoned.

The timing of finding this girl was fortuitous. Alrik had been bored the last several weeks and now he was on the scent of someone new.

He would discover what foul magic this woman used, and then he would become the tool of the Maker's hatred.

***When I first started this story, there were some inquires about how certain *cough cough* matters would be handled, ie: what does a woman do in a place like Thedas when it comes to personal matters? Well, I figured we might as well deal with it now and never speak of it again lol. Oh, I'm based this on some reading that says these matters have been written about in ancient texts, so there is a basis for women in the past using cloth etc.***


	25. Chapter 25 What A Girl Wants

***I did some reading before I wrote this chapter and I feel like, taking into account dwarven engineering and the history of our own world, what happens is reasonable.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 25 – What A Girl Wants

Allison was sweaty, achy and tired but the pirate just kept coming at her.

"Don't drop your guard Allison! Damn it, stop hesitating already; come at me!" Isabela shouted.

Allison huffed and jabbed her dagger at Isabela who promptly blocked it and then knocked the dagger out of Allison's hand. She finished the move by shoving Allison against a wall and pressing her own dagger against Allison's throat.

"You're dead my dear." Isabela announced cheerily.

Allison hesitated to even swallow with the feel of the sharp blade against her skin.

"Gee, thanks." she said cautiously, giving the dagger a meaningful look.

Isabela pulled back with a smirk and sheathed her weapon.

"That was better. Not great, but better." Isabela cocked her head. "You were tired there at the end so you gave up, knowing that I wouldn't actually hurt you. A bandit isn't going to show you the same consideration. Remember that. You don't stop fighting until either he's dead or you are."

"Great. Thanks for the confidence." Allison said wryly.

Isabela gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't worry. When you feel your blood pumping and you realize that your life can end in a second, you'll find the strength you need to fight."

Allison wiped the sweat from her brow. "That was inspiring. You should give speeches."

Isabela laughed. "C'mon. You can catch your breath while we head to a spot where you can try out your moves."

Allison was surprised. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Isabela said mysteriously.

They stepped out of the abandoned basement of a closed shop in Lowtown and out into the streets.

The sun was already beginning to set and the sky was painted in soft pinks and oranges.

Allison looked up and smiled.

Isabela followed her gaze. "Why are you so happy?"

Allison shrugged. "The colors are beautiful and the air smells a little nicer than usual."

Isabela looked at her like she was crazy. "If you say so. You know, being in love makes you annoyingly chipper."

Allison laughed and bumped Isabela with her hip. "Good."

"It wasn't a compliment." Isabela said sardonically.

"I know. It just gives me great pleasure to annoy you." Allison replied sweetly.

Isabela took them down an isolated alleyway and then turned down a path that led them to the back side of a house. There was a solid wooden door with a brass knob.

Isabela reached into her belt and pulled out two long, skinny, metal objects that reminded Allison of flathead screwdrivers. Isabela slipped them into the slots below the knob.

Allison realized that she was picking the lock.

"What are you doing? I'm not interested in getting involved in another illegal endeavor with you!" Allison whispered while checking to see if anyone was watching them.

"Relax dear. We're not here to engage in an illegal endeavor, as you put it. We're here to interrupt someone else who's already finished one." Isabela placated.

There was a loud click and the door opened. Isabela grinned and gestured for Allison to follow.

"Where are we?" Allison asked, still looking around behind them. "Whose house is this?"

"The owners of the house are recently deceased, so they don't need your sympathies." Isabela said peevishly.

She navigated the shrouded basement passage without hesitation.

"Jeez, don't get so snippy. I can't help it if I question your scruples at times. You _are_ a pirate after all, even if you're the most honorable pirate I've ever heard of." Allison stated.

Isabela stopped and turned around, her expression insulted. "Did you just call me _honorable_? How insufferable."

"Awww, don't be grumpy Isabela." Allison cooed just to piss her off.

Isabela held up a hand to silence her. "Be quiet. The idiots are over there." Isabela pointed.

There was a room just ahead of them where three men stood, sifting through boxes and papers.

Allison crouched and peeked out carefully. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to say hello." Isabela replied grimly, and stepped out into the light that illuminated the hallway.

"Well, well, if it isn't three of the sorriest thieves I've ever run into to." Isabela called out.

The men spun around, pulling out their swords and one of them stepped forward with an arrogant smirk.

"Hello Isabela. Fancy meeting you here. What can I do for you?" the man asked politely.

"Hello Royce. You can give back that little trinket you stole from one of my men." Isabela replied just as politely.

The man she called Royce put on an innocent face. "I don't know what you mean Isabela, and even if I did have said trinket, I don't see how it's any of your business."

"It's my business because Yustin was on _my_ ship, a member of _my_ crew before you found him and slit his throat." Isabela said with a glare of hatred. "That medallion wasn't meant for you. Now, give it back!"

Royce smirked. "Come and get it my lush beauty, and when I have you on the ground I'll give you something else you'll like even better."

Allison felt her heart speeding up so fast, it felt like it would fly out of her chest and choke her. These men were dangerous and the only backup Isabela had was…her.

Sensing that a fight was about to begin, Allison reluctantly pulled out her dagger. She and Isabela had been practicing for over a week now, but Allison was still just a girl from Seattle. She wasn't used to fighting and the thought of actually _using_ her weapon against someone made her nauseous.

Royce's threat to Isabela echoed in Allison's ears though. If she didn't help her friend, then that man was going to hurt Isabela.

Allison swallowed, feeling her stomach jitter. Her breath was coming in quick gasps that made her lightheaded. She was hyperventilating but she didn't know how to calm down when their lives were in danger.

Isabela pulled out the twin blades she favored and readied herself for a fight. She was very aware of Allison standing a few paces behind her and she had heard the girl pull out her dagger. Good.

Isabela blew Royce a kiss. "Why don't you come over here and just try it?" she taunted.

All three men moved forward. The one to Isabela's right was going for Allison.

Isabela spun and kicked the man in his pock-marked face. He cried out, holding his nose as blood poured out over his face. He wasn't a threat for the moment.

Royce was still advancing and his companion to Isabela's left was shifting to get behind her while Royce attacked from the front.

Allison wasn't sure what to do. She didn't know how to help Isabela. The man that had been coming for Allison was now down on the ground moaning, nursing his nose.

Allison made a quick decision and ran over to the fallen criminal and took the sword that now lay at his side.

"Hey!" he cried and made a grab for Allison.

She kicked out hard, and caught him in the face again. His head rapped against the wall and he was out, at least for the moment.

Allison looked the sword in her hand with bewilderment. Not knowing how to handle the thing, she tossed it in a far corner away from the fight.

Allison looked up and saw that one of the men was circling Isabela to attack her from behind.

At the same time Royce was brandishing his sword with some rather fancy moves that made Allison think that he wasn't just some backstreet thug.

What could she do?

At the first sound of metal clashing against metal, Allison jerked at the noise. The situation became very clear. If she didn't do something, Isabela was going to get hurt or be killed. She couldn't just stand there and do nothing.

The other man was now directly behind Isabela. Apparently Allison didn't seem like a threat and he ignored her.

Allison saw him smile as he snuck up behind Isabela.

At some unseen signal, the man grabbed Isabela around the neck and Royce swung his sword.

Isabela reared back but managed to block Royce's attack.

Allison felt sick but she rushed forward, the dagger in her hand.

She hesitated for an instance before stabbing the man quickly in the side. She flinched as the blade met flesh and skittered backwards in horror, withdrawing the knife from his side.

Even being in danger, Allison couldn't make herself plunge the knife into his back where it would surely kill him.

She had forgotten about her weapon's enchantment though.

The man let go of Isabela, crying out and grabbing at his side.

At the same moment, ice poured out of the wound, covering his hands, crawling up his arms, encasing his chest, spreading to his legs and feet and covering his head.

Allison stepped back, her breath hitching as she watched the man become a frozen statue.

She heard a curse and glanced over at Isabela.

It had been Royce who spoke. He saw his man frozen from head to foot and stood gaping.

Isabela grinned and switched her hold on one of her daggers so she could use the hilt to punch Royce in the face.

He staggered backwards and Isabela kicked the sword out of his hand before thrusting her blade into his chest.

Royce fell to the ground, gurgling and Isabela began sifting through his pockets before he had exhaled his last breathe.

"Got it." she exclaimed, and held up a golden medallion with carvings that Allison couldn't read.

It didn't matter anyway. Allison was sinking into shock.

"I killed him." she said numbly, looking at the man she had stabbed. "I killed him."

Isabela sighed heavily. "No you didn't."

Isabela marched over to the frozen form of the man and hit the ice covering his head with the hilt of her weapon. The ice cracked enough to uncover his face.

The man gasped, drawing in deep breaths and coughing.

"See, he's not dead, at least not yet. If you had left him like that he would've died like the sorry piece of shit he is." Isabela said with a malicious smile directed at the man.

Allison thought she could breathe again. "Oh, thank God."

Isabela shook her head but patted Allison on the back. "And look at you. I knew that you would step up in the end, all though I'll admit I was wondering how long I'd have to hold back before you finally made a move."

Allison's mouth fell open. "Hold back? What do you mean hold back?"

Isabela's laugh was genuinely amused. "Oh, aren't you sweet? Do you actually think I can't hold my own against two pathetic imbeciles like Royce and his man over there?"

The pirate laughed again while Allison sputtered.

"But…but, I thought you were in trouble Isabela! I was scared to death!" Allison shouted, angry now. "Did you _want_ me to kill that man?"

Isabela gave Allison a hard look. "I knew that you wouldn't fight unless you felt we were in real danger. You needed to see what it's really like and you needed to be _forced_ into making a decision. And you did. Whether you killed or not wasn't the point. I needed you to at least _try_ to fight."

Allison's lips pressed into a thin line as her anger outweighed any fear she had felt before.

"That's not okay. This is real Isabela. These are _real_ people and I could have killed one of them."

Isabela's expression became just as angry. "That's right dear, these are real people and they wouldn't have hesitated to kill you or me in the blink of an eye."

Isabela got in Allison's face. "You'd better remember where you are Sweeting. This is Thedas and you have to be ready to defend yourself. Or do you want what happened out in the coast to happen again? What would you have done if I wasn't around to help you? Or what about the Templars? What if Anders needs your help one day?"

Allison lowered her head. "That's low Isabela." she mumbled quietly.

Isabela nudged her chin up and looked into her eyes. "I know, but it's also true. You're my friend too and I'm not going to let you off easy because you don't want to get your hands dirty. You have to be ready."

Allison took a deep breath and knew that Isabela was right. "Okay. I hear you."

Isabela seemed satisfied that Allison had gotten the message.

"Now that that's done, let's go check out the rest of the house." she suggested merrily.

Allison couldn't believe her ears. "You want to look around? Are you crazy? Shouldn't we get out of her?"

Isabela snorted. "The idiot will keep while we have a look. Like I said, the previous tenants are gone so everything is up for grabs."

Allison followed Isabela through the house. "Are those the rules in Thedas?" she asked irritably.

"Yes actually. Look, if we don't take it someone like Royce and his men will." Isabela explained.

"I thought we were interrupting their stealing." Allison argued.

"We were dear, but I wasn't talking about this house. I was talking about the medallion that they stole." Isabela clarified.

"Oh." Allison thought back to Isabela's confrontation with Royce. "You mentioned Yustin. Who was that?"

Isabela's countenance fell for a moment. "He was a good lad; a good sailor. Yustin was on my ship before I lost it. He had left a wife and baby back home so he could make enough money to send back home. This medallion was a gift from his wife. Royce murdered him and now I'm going to send it back to her."

Allison wasn't sure what to say. "Why did they kill him?"

Isabela eyes went hard. "Because they could. And to send a message to me."

"I'm sorry Isabela." Allison offered, knowing the words didn't really help..

"So am I dear." Isabela moved through the house with a purpose that had Allison wondering.

"Isabela? You seem to be very familiar with this house, like you've been here before." Allison said suspiciously.

Isabela only smiled and kept walking until she came to a large door with inlaid designs. She pushed it open and waved Allison inside.

"This is why we're really here." Isabela announced.

The room was large and warm. There were robes of various colors strewn about. Silks and satins and other fabrics Allison didn't recognize.

They ranged in colors from emerald greens to deep burgundies.

There were jars of oils and powders laid out on a counter that looked like marble.

"Wow. What is all of this stuff?" Allison asked.

Isabela opened a cabinet. "This was their bathhouse. See all the soaps?"

Allison's ears perked up. "Bathhouse? You mean like the Romans?" At Isabela's blank look Allison shook her head and continued. "You guys have bathtubs here?"

"Of course we do." Isabela answered. "I have them bring up a tub a few times a week at the Hanged Man."

Allison didn't know that the thought of a real bath could make her drool like she was smelling food.

"I haven't had a bath since I left home. We just have a bowl." Allison said wistfully.

Isabela grinned at Allison, her eyes dancing. "I know. Have a look." Isabela nodded at a screen behind her.

Allison stepped around and her eyes widened when she saw the copper tub.

It was deep and the sides had been decorated with something like a ball-peen hammer. One end of the tub was raised up like a headrest.

There was some sort of handle attached to a circular-looking gear at the bottom of the tub, and when Allison asked about it, Isabela explained that the tub was a dwaren design and they had built a release into the bottom of the tub to let the water out.

"That's amazing but, Isabela, I can't take a bath _here_." Allison replied.

"I wasn't suggesting that you do. We're taking it with us." Isabela picked up the robes and threw them in the tub. Then she grabbed some of the soaps and powders and got on one side of the tub. "Take the other side."

Allison thought she was kidding. "What? Really?"

"Pick it up. C'mon let's go!" Isabela ordered.

Allison automatically lifted her side and they began carrying it out of the room and down the hall.

"Isabela, we can't carry this thing all the way to Darktown!" Allison said, breathing heavily.

Isabela paused, letting her side down and Allison followed suit.

Isabela snapped her fingers. "I forgot. Wait here a minute."

"Where are you going?" Allison called but Isabela had disappeared.

Allison started counting in her head, and then she started worrying that the man she had encased in ice would start thawing out.

Just when she was getting really anxious, Allison heard a thud, then a squeaking and the sound of something large coming her direction.

She pulled out her dagger, hoping that she wasn't going to have to use it.

Around the corner came Isabela pushing a large wheelbarrow, looking quite pleased with herself.

"Wow, I guess that'll work." Allison said, impressed. "You thought of everything."

Allison heard her own words and then realized that fatigue had made her slow.

"Wait a minute…you thought of everything. As in, this was all a setup? You wanted me to have this tub didn't you?" Allison exclaimed.

Isabela shrugged. "So what if I did?"

Allison folded her arms over her chest. "What do you mean, so what? Those men; Royce and his goons. What was that about?"

Isabela smiled darkly. "Call it efficiency then. _I_ needed to deal with Royce. _You_ needed to use your dagger, and I wanted you to have something nice."

Allison ran her fingers through her hair. "You did this for me? I don't know what to say Isabela."

Isabela brushed off Allison's gratitude. "You don't need to say anything."

Allison knew the pirate didn't want to hear anymore thanks so she swallowed her words.

They loaded the tub onto the wheelbarrow and went back out the way they came.

They passed the man Allison had frozen and she noticed that a large puddle was forming beneath him as the ice melted.

"Are we going to have trouble from him?" Allison asked, worried.

Isabela snorted. "Not even a little bit. Will we Harvey?" she called out.

The man was shivering but he shook his head.

"He was an arm for hire. He's more loyal to his own hide than he is to anyone else." Isabela assured her.

They must have made quite the sight as they pushed their cargo through town.

Two women, huffing and puffing as they pushed a large copper tub in a worn-out wheelbarrow. They got quite a few stares before people just shook their heads and moved on.

Allison thought out loud while pushing the cart. "I was thinking that there may be a way for me to keep the water in the tub warm."

"Oh?" Isabela said, sweating a bit herself.

"Yea. I was thinking about how in the olden days, well at least in _my_ world, some people would heat stones and put them in the water. I figure that maybe I can do that, but use a special rune stone instead." Allison explained.

"I see. You could make a stone that would stay heated when submerged in water." Isabela caught on.

"Exactly." Allison panted a bit. "Jeez, Darktown is a _lot_ farther away when you have something heavy."

"Tell me about it." Isabela agreed.

They finally made it to the lift that would lower them from Lowtown to the city's underbelly.

They got their breath back on the trip down and then maneuvered the wheelbarrow through the crowded streets.

At the clinic, Allison opened the door and then helped Isabela get the tub off and into the main room.

Anders was still at The Hanged Man with Varric it seemed.

"Only a little farther." Isabela grunted as they hauled the tub into the bedroom. "It would have been nice if your man were around to help with this.

There was a corner in the back of the room where there was a hole fitted with a metal cover, like a manhole cover back home would be. It was where chamber pots were emptied.

There was a long drop and far down it led to the sewers beneath the city. The placement was good because the odors from the sewer didn't reach them if the hole was opened and closed quickly enough.

Isabela placed the tub over it as the tub was curved underneath, leaving a space where the cover could be removed so the water could drain out of the tub.

"There!" Isabela said once the tub was situated. "You have to admit that the dwarves know what they're on about."

Allison just stood there. "I have a _tub_. I can take a _bath_."

She looked over at Isabela and then hugged her while jumping up and down. "I have a tub!"

Isabela laughed and shook her head. "It doesn't take much to make you happy does it?"

Allison was practically dancing. "Isabela, you have _no_ idea what this means to me."

Isabela sifted through the items she had thrown into the tub back at the house. She removed several robes and some jars.

"I'll leave you that robe." she said pointing the one in a rich blue shade. "And I'll leave you the soaps, a jar of oil and some powder."

Allison looked over the containers. "What does the powder do?"

"You just put some in the bath and it makes the water smell good." Isabela answered. "I'm off dear. Let me know how Anders reacts when he sees you all wet and relaxed."

Isabela wiggled her eyebrows but Allison took her seriously. Anders had never seen her really cleaned up before. This would be different.

Allison called after Isabela before she left the clinic. "Um, Isabela? Try to keep Anders at the tavern for as long as possible ok?"

She heard Isabela's delighted laugh before the door closed. Allison ran over and started a fire and then started filling pots with water.

She felt more energized than she had in a long time and her thoughts raced ahead to what kind of rune she could create to make this even better in the future.

She took the robe and tossed it on the bed. Thankfully there was more room in the cramped space now that she and Anders shared a bed.

She sniffed the different soaps and settled on one with a light fragrance like honeysuckle.

Thinking of Anders, she wondered how long had it been since he'd had a real bath.

Maybe he never had. This could be a gift for him too.

Allison hummed as she poured a little water into the tub. She tested the crank at the bottom by turning it counter-clockwise. The circular gear opened and the water emptied out. She closed the sewage drain beneath the tub and, satisfied, began filling the tub in earnest. There wasn't an overflow spout so she was careful not to overfill it.

It was getting dark, so she lit a lantern.

When the bath was ready, Allison opened the jar of powder Isabela had left with her. It smelled like a mixture of lilac and cedar. The scent wasn't too heavy but she sprinkled only a little into the water.

Stripping out of her clothes, Allison tested the water with her toe and almost groaned.

Hot water!

She got in gingerly and since she was alone, allowed herself to moan happily as the water came up to about the middle of her chest.

She was surprised when her eyes prickled with tears. She sniffled as the realization of her situation hit her again.

It would happen like this sometimes. She would be happy for a while and then something would happen to remind her forcefully of where and when she was.

Being with Anders had made things better, but even he couldn't make the feeling that she didn't belong here completely disappear.

Allison leaned forward in the water and wet her hair. This was going to be a special treat. She used the soap in place of shampoo, scrubbed furiously, then rinsed.

Next, she soaped her body and used a cloth to get her skin clean.

She wished that she could just soak in the water but she hadn't had a bath in a long time and she didn't want to sit in dirty water.

Allison wrung her hair out, noticing that it had gotten quite long.

Regretfully, she got out and removed the cover under the tub. Using the crank, she let the water drain out, replacing the cover when it was done.

She stood there, naked, and feeling more human than she had in a while. It was amazing what a bath and a hair wash could do.

Allison put on the robe and closed her eyes as the smooth fabric settled against her skin. She stepped out into the main room and stood in front of the fire to help her hair dry.

She must have been lost in thought, because she didn't hear Anders come in.

Anders saw Allison standing in the glow of the fire. Her lean body enveloped in a silky robe, the firelight playing over her features and curves.

His mouth dried up.

Back at the Hanged Man, Isabela had come in loaded down with clothes and jars. When Anders had asked what she and Allison had been up to, Isabela had just given him an amused look and gone upstairs, telling him to wait a while before going home.

Varric had called his attention back to the hand of Wicked Grace they were playing, but Anders had been distracted, thinking of Allison and what she was doing that had put that look on Isabela's face.

Her long, dark hair was slightly damp, the curls just starting to form again. Her skin looked dewy and healthy, glowing in the orange light.

He tried to speak and couldn't. She stole his breath away.

Justice was having a strange reaction and Anders felt the spirit's wish for privacy from Anders' probing about it.

It was just as well.

Anders stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Allison started for a brief second before relaxing in his embrace.

"I didn't hear you come in." she said quietly.

Anders inhaled the scent of her skin and his breathing hitched.

"You smell divine." he said, kissing her neck.

Allison laughed. "You can thank Isabela for that. Come and see what she did."

Allison took his hand and went into the bedroom.

Anders saw the beautifully fashioned tub and blinked.

"Where did that come from?" he asked.

Allison decided it was best to edit some of the story. "Um, Isabela found an empty house where the owners had passed away and left this behind. Wasn't that nice of her?"

Anders walked over and studied the design. "It was. I can't believe it. And it's dwarven as well?"

Allison nodded. "When was the last time you had a bath?"

Anders thought about it. "Not since the Circle. It was one of the advantages of a caged life. They kept us clean."

"Well, now you have your own tub and soap too." Allison stated, happy again.

Anders turned back to her and his eyes darkened sensually. "Does that mean that you're naked under that lovely robe?"

Allison licked her lips, her pulse quickening at the look in his eyes. "Mmhm." was all she could say.

How did he manage to look like that? Sexy and dangerous and charming all at the same time. A girl couldn't be expected to resist that kind of pull.

He approached her and tugged the tie on her robe.

Allison's natural modesty made her want to cover herself but Anders didn't give her a chance.

He simply stepped in and cupped her face, kissing her, tasting her until her knees buckled.

To hold herself up, Allison grabbed his collar and pulled, bringing Anders closer to her.

He turned her and, sliding the robe off of her shoulders, he stretched them out on the bed.

Anders pulled back and looked into Allison's face. The lantern light casting shadows around them.

He looked so serious that Allison became concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." he said and he moved his head down to her chest and rested his face against there.

"I just want to listen to your heartbeat for a moment. It lets me know that this is real and that you're really here."

Allison didn't know what to say, except for the truth. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone who loves me the way you do."

Anders stroked a hand over her hip, marveling at the soft skin. "I think that's my line."

Allison smiled and just took the moment to breathe and be close to him.

Anders raised his head and his eyes flared with blue light before it banked down.

"Are you okay?" she asked nervously.

"Yes. I…we…" Anders laughed in frustration. "It's difficult to explain. I'm feeling Justice's emotions along with my own. It's like everything's doubled. It's hard to control sometimes."

Allison didn't completely understand. "And what is Justice feeling? Is he upset?"

Anders looked surprised that she would think that. "No. Not at all. He's…a bit overwhelmed at the moment. He…cares for you, a great deal actually, but he doesn't know how to handle that."

Anders wanted to laugh at Allison's bewildered expression.

"Don't worry Love. He'll get used to it." Anders said and kissed her forehead.

"I'm not worried exactly." Allison said, slightly uncomfortable. "I mean…what does Justice want? Are we in, like a…three-person relationship?"

Anders had to think about the right way to answer that without scaring her.

"Not…exactly." he said hesitantly. "Justice's emotions are more…spiritual, I suppose you could say. He doesn't think of having physical relationships the way you and I do."

Allison figured that she better just ask the question and get it out there.

"So, he doesn't want to…_you know_?" Allison asked, disbelieving that she was having a conversation about a spirit who resided in the body of the man she loved.

Anders blinked and then shook his head. "No! No, he doesn't want to…_be_ with you in that way."

Anders' shoulders shook with laughter. "I can't believe that we're talking about this and neither can Justice."

"Hey, he's a part of you, and I'm kind of fond of him too so I don't want to hurt him." Allison explained.

Justice's feelings at that statement couldn't be properly expressed so Anders didn't try.

"I don't know what I did to deserve someone who accepts all of me the way you do." Anders said.

Allison grinned. "Well, all of you is pretty hot, so it's a win/win for me."

Anders nuzzled her neck. "I'm assuming that hot is one of your world's words for extremely charming and handsome?"

"That would be right, yes." Allison laughed as he bit her shoulder lightly.

"Are you just going to play with me, or do you have the intention of making this worth my while?" she challenged.

The look he gave her made her toes curl and her belly heat.

"How much time do you have?" he whispered as he kissed his way down her stomach.

"Age and ages." she barely managed to get out as her breath caught on a gasp.

_The man's mouth was magic_.

"Good." he said and kissed the inside of her thigh.

When they lay together afterwards, Allison reminded herself that if she hadn't lost her home, she never would have met Anders and she never would have known that her heart was capable of feeling this much joy.

It was an exchange. Pain in exchange for happiness and love. It had to be worth it…she hoped it was.

The next day, Allison and Anders joined Isabela and Varric at the Blooming Rose for a noonday meal.

Anders received a rather strange welcome from a few of the employees and Allison raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain.

He actually blushed.

"It's not my fault. Bloody Isabela told them about that stupid lightening trick and the story made the rounds here." Anders said, flustered.

Allison was intrigued and baffled. "What lightening trick?"

Isabela gawked at Anders. "You haven't shown her yet? What the hell have you been _doing_ with her? Braiding her hair?"

"Shut up Isabela." Anders ordered irritably.

Varric looked back and forth between them. "Now _I_ want to know about the lightening trick."

"Don't start Varric." Anders threatened and gave Allison an entreating look. "Don't ask about it right now and I'll explain later."

Isabela snorted. "You'd better do more than _explain_."

Anders flushed again. "I'm not exactly proud of that time of my life! I was a different person back then and I was less…particular about who I shared my bed with."

Isabela peered at him over her glass of ale. "Or how _many_ people shared it with you."

Anders pinched the bridge of his nose and gritted his teeth.

Allison decided to let it go so Anders wouldn't strangle Isabela. "I think his head's going to explode Isabela. He can tell me later."

Isabela rolled her eyes but acquiesced.

As they were eating a young man approached their table with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Hello Miss. Are you Allison?" he inquired.

Allison didn't answer for a moment because she was surprised that someone was asking about her.

"Yes, I am. Who are you?"

The young man handed her the note, bowed and then left.

Anders watched his exit with suspicion. "What the hell was that about?"

Allison unfolded the paper and smiled. "It's fine. It's just a note from Umbar that he wants me to bring some runes in at midweek. That's good since I could use some supplies anyway."

Anders relaxed. "Oh. Well going to the Gallows is always a good thing." he said sarcastically.

Allison elbowed him and went back to eating.

After the meal, the two of them walked hand in hand back to the clinic.

A large group of people were waiting for them. Many were huddled in blankets or laying on the ground outside the clinic.

Anders hurried forward. "What happened? What's wrong?"

A human male stepped forward, coughing. "Healer, a sickness is passing through the refugee camps. Two have died already."

Anders unlocked the door and ushered the sick inside.

Allison got them settled on cots. "What do you need me to get?" she asked.

Anders pointed to the shelf. "There's a bottle of red liquid on the second shelf. Grab that and the white powder next to it."

Allison ran over and gathered the supplies, picking up a few cloths to wipe the sweat from the faces of patients who seemed to have fevers.

They worked together, in tandem. Allison comforted the patients in distress while Anders used his magic to soothe the symptoms of the worst hit and to head off the illness in those not as badly affected yet.

At one point Anders sagged in exhaustion and Allison made him sit down.

"You need to stop for a moment and rest." she insisted.

"No. There are too many people to treat." Anders argued and tried to get up but his knees buckled.

Allison swore. "And you're no good to them like this! Just stop and take a breather, please."

Anders pointed to a far wall. "Go and get that flask over there."

Allison fetched it and noticed that the flask hummed a bit in her hand. She gave it to him. "What is that?"

Anders drank it down, his body trembling for a moment. "Lyrium."

"What! But I thought that was poison to mages?" Allison said in horror.

"Only unrefined or in large doses." Anders said, getting back to his feet. "I need it. I don't have time to wait for my mana to regenerate. These people are sick!"

Allison didn't know how to reason with him so she decided to make his job as easy as possible instead.

She kept tea brewing and cleaned chamber pots that patients threw up in. She hurried from cot to cot making sure that no one was having a relapse.

All the while Allison also kept an eye on Anders. His face was pale, his hair falling out of the binding and hanging in his face.

Allison worried that this illness was contagious and maybe he would get sick. She thought that perhaps the fact that she was from another world might make her immune to Thedas' diseases. At least she hoped so.

When Anders staggered again Allison had had enough.

She caught his shoulders and dragged him into the bedroom, pushing him onto the bed.

His pupils were dilated and she didn't know if it was a reaction to the lyrium.

"That's enough! You will lie there for the next hour or I will knock you out and make you!" she snapped.

He looked so exhausted that Allison was frightened for him.

He tried to sit up stubbornly. "They need my help." Anders said in a ragged voice.

It was evidence of his weakened state that Allison was able to push him back down with little effort.

"Everything is under control Anders. Many people are just resting and the ones that are more sick have been given medicine. You have to stop now or you're going to get sick yourself."

Anders knew that Allison was right. His eyes were barely able to stay open and the lyrium was having its usual after-effect of giving him the jitters.

"Alright. I'll rest for just a little while, but wake me if anyone needs me." he said tiredly.

Allison agreed but she'd be damned if she woke him for anything less than an emergency.

She walked back out into the clinic and went around the room checking that everyone was alright.

Allison decided to make a light broth to help those who had emptied their stomachs.

She didn't have any medical training but she could offer comfort through food.

After the broth was made she served the patients that were still awake. She also poured water into a pitcher, knowing that many of them were dehydrated.

It was all she could do.

It was evening now and Allison turned down the lanterns to help people rest.

She sat down in a chair, her back aching from standing on her feet so long. Then she realized that she needed to check on Anders because he had been sleeping for over an hour.

Allison walked into the bedroom as quietly as she could and crept over to the bed.

Anders' color was better and his hands weren't shaking anymore.

Allison let out a relieved breath. She couldn't take it if something happened to him. She bent over and kissed his forehead and the backed out of the room, shutting the door.

When Anders awoke it was dark. He sat up quickly and was pleased to feel that the lyrium had worn off.

He swung his legs over the bed and found that he could stand again.

His stomach growled and almost on cue, Allison walked in with a bowl of broth.

Anders lit a lantern with a simple spell.

"Good you're already up." Allison said happily but in a hushed voice. "I didn't want to have to wake you but I knew you needed to eat."

Anders started to go out into the clinic. "Is everyone alright?"

Allison put the bowl down and grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Everyone is sleeping. They've been fed and I gave them water. No one is coughing and there are no fevers. _You're_ the one who needs to eat still." Allison said firmly.

Anders sat back down and gratefully took the steaming bowl of soup.

It soothed his stomach which was slightly achy after taking the lyrium. He felt his muscles relax and he smiled at her.

"See. Stick with me kid and you'll be fine." Allison said with a confident nod.

Anders stared at her solemnly. "I plan to."

Allison grinned and sat next to him on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder.

Anders turned and kissed her hair. "Are you alright Love?"

Allison felt her stomach somersault at the endearment. "Yea, I'm fine. We did good today right?"

She felt his lip on her hair again.

"Yes we did." Anders said quietly "I love you."

Allison pressed a kiss to his chin. "I love you too."

Anders rested his head against hers and thought that he had never had so rewarding a day in working the clinic.

Being able to share his work with Allison was a special gift. Working beside her and having someone who cared for him with such constancy and tenacity was something he never expected to be able to experience in his life.

Not for the first time since he met her, Anders prayed to the Maker that he could keep her.


	26. Chapter 26 Mousetrap

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 26 – Mousetrap

By midweek Allison had crafted some new runes to take to Umber. Her experiments had also been a success and she had been able to make a set of runes that were activated by water to become warm.

Anders had enjoyed his own bath time and Allison was even more grateful to Isabela for thinking of them like that.

Allison had left Anders at the clinic. The sickness that had swept through the refugee camp was over even though the unsanitary conditions made another outbreak likely.

For now, Anders had been able to cure all of those who had been stricken by the malady and he was going to straighten up a bit and then work on his manifesto.

Allison had a list of errands to run in her head, one of them being to stop by Lirene's and talk to the woman about borrowing her stone oven.

Allison was determined to master baking in Thedas and she couldn't wait to try out some desserts on Anders. Not to mention that she had promised Sandal some cookies.

Allison never broke a promise when it came to food. She smiled to herself as she carried the sack runes onto the boat heading for the Gallows. First things first, she needed to see Umbar before setting off on a baking expedition.

It was a beautiful day out and her heart felt light.

As the boat docked, Allison hopped off and made her way to Umbar's stall.

The dwarf saw her and a strange expression passed over his face. He almost looked startled and then hesitant.

Allison slowed her approach in reaction to his odd behavior but the dwarf waved her over if a little too enthusiastically.

"Hello Miss Allison!" Umbar called in a cheery voice. "I see you got my note."

The dwarf's glance skittered away from her and then back again quickly.

"I did. I brought you some new runes, including a few that I tried some different approaches with. I'm really getting the hang of this." Allison said, taking some pride in her work.

She watched the merchant glance away from her again and she wondered why he was acting so nervously.

"Are you ok Umbar?" she asked. He seemed to be sweating even though the day was pleasant.

Umbar coughed and looked away again. "Oh, yes Miss. I'm fine. I uh…just need you to wait here for a second. I…uh, have someone for you to meet."

The dwarf stepped out of his booth and made his way across the courtyard. He went into an alcove at the side of the gate that separated the Gallows Circle from the rest of the area.

Allison frowned but she turned and started going over some of Umbar's books. Allison loved books and the ones in Thedas were quite pretty with their aged leather covers and medieval designs.

A shadow fell over her shoulder and Allison straightened from her perusal.

The fine hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she found herself not wanting to turn around.

A strangely polite voice sounded behind her.

"Well, this is the girl I've been hearing about." the voice said.

Allison forced herself to turn around and then stumbled back as she faced the man she had seen some time ago in the Gallows courtyard.

She remembered his cold, light blue eyes that bored into her like lasers.

Umbar stepped from behind the Templar. "That's right Ser Alrik. I got her here as you asked."

Allison's head swung around at that statement. "You brought me here for _him_? Why?" she asked, her voice barely over a whisper because of fear.

The Templar smiled down at her placidly but Allison knew that she was in danger.

"I've heard that you have quite a talent for runemaking. I find that strange since humans cannot manipulate lyrium." Alrik said, his gaze unblinking.

Allison licked her lips which were as dry as her mouth. "I…I'm not from here and I…" she stammered.

Alrik stepped closer to her, crowding her against Umbar's stand. "And just _where_ are you from?"

Allison swallowed hard and tried to think but the fear of imminent danger was beating in her mind.

"I'm from…Ferelden. A small place you wouldn't have heard of it." she said, and tried to stand up straighter.

Alrik raised a single eyebrow. "Really? And where is this small place pray tell?"

Allison knew instinctively that this man had no intention of letting her leave but she tried to stay clam anyway.

"Lothering." she replied, drawing on her knowledge of Thedas from the books Anders had.

_Oh God! Anders! What would happen if the Templars took her away? What would he do? No! She had to get out of this!_

Allison drew on all her courage. She stood tall and tilted her chin in an almost haughty manner.

"I can see that you are a Templar Sir, but _I_ am not a mage so you have no business with me." She went to step around Alrik and the Templar closed a crushing hand over her upper arm, making her wince.

"You, young lady are not in charge here. You have been accused of using magic and therefore you have no rights. You will be taken into custody and questioned." Alrik raised his other hand and two other Templars hurried over and took hold of Allison's arms and began dragging her away.

Allison tried to plant her feet but the Templars were too strong. "Wait! I'm not a mage, you can't do this! Please!" she cried.

Alrik smirked. "We will determine exactly _what_ you are."

He threw a coin purse in Umbar's direction. The dwarf caught it and weighed the gold in his hands.

"You will tell no one what happened here." Alrik ordered as he walked away.

The dwarf could hear the girls calling out for help but the courtyard was full of Templars and people who knew better than to interfere with Circle matters.

A few people watched the procession but they soon returned to their business.

The Templars marched Allison to another door that was north of Sol's stall and pushed her through. The mage saw the young woman begging to be let go and he forced himself not to react outwardly.

She was in trouble there was no doubt but Sol wasn't sure how to help her. Maybe there was a mistake and she would be released. Sol intended to keep watch in case she wasn't so lucky.

Sol saw the glimmer in Alrik's eyes as the door shut behind them and he began to pray.


	27. Chapter 27 A Holy Mission

***Warning: This chapter contains violence and acts of cruelty. Nothing sexual though.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 27 – A Holy Mission

The Templars half dragged, half carried Allison through a section of the Gallows that had stairs leading to different levels, with doors positioned along corridors at regular intervals.

Allison was breathing so fast that her head was spinning. She couldn't believe that this was happening.

_What were they going to do to her?_

She didn't know how the law worked. Anders, Isabela and Varric were able to go after criminals on their own with no interference from the city guard.

And the Circle? She had even less knowledge about what they considered fair treatment. All she knew was what Anders had told her, and that meant she was _trouble_.

She tried to speak calmly, although her heart was in her throat. "Please. There's been some kind of misunderstanding. I'm not a mage. Can we just talk about this?"

Neither man answered her and Alrik didn't even glance at her.

Allison felt her stomach clench in anxiety but she tried to keep her head. She thought about fighting them but there was no point. She was outnumbered and they had weapons.

The men led her to a room at the far end of the corridor and dropped her unceremoniously into a chair.

Alrik nodded at one of the Templars and the man went over to a chest and took out something that looked like restraints.

He came around the back of the Allison's chair, pulled her hands behind her and clapped the cold metal around her wrists. She tried to struggle but there was no way to move her hands.

Alrik closed the door and she was alone with the three Templars. The two guards moved to opposite sides of the room and looked straight ahead as if she and Alrik weren't there.

Alrik removed his gauntlets and walked over to stand in front her as if he had all the time in the world.

He had a very light-colored beard which he now stroked as he considered her.

"You will state your name for the record." he ordered curtly.

She looked up at him, throwing around the idea of just staying quiet and not giving him the satisfaction of answering. But, it was possible that being obtuse would just makes things worse.

"Allison." she answered.

She didn't see anyone taking notes so she didn't know whose record he was referring to.

Alrik's eyes bore holes into her. "And from where do you hail?"

"A small place outside of Lothering." Her voice didn't sound as sure as she needed it to and Alrik sensed it.

A half-smirk curved his lips. "Is that so?"

"Yes." she replied and refused to look away from his unnerving gaze.

Alrik chuckled darkly. "I assume that you came over with the other Ferelden refuse that now floods our streets?"

As that was the story she had already let people believe, Allison stuck with it. "Yes, that's right. I found a little space to live…"

Alrik's backhand silenced her.

Allison was so shocked that she didn't even cry out. She simply sat there blinking stupidly as the taste of blood settled on her tongue.

"You will answer only what I ask you." Alrik said in a civil tone.

Allison could barely hear him; she was still reeling from the blow so casually dealt.

"You have been seen cavorting with persons of questionable repute. Are these wastrels aware of your illegal status?" Alrik questioned.

"My illegal status?" Allison said, confused and disoriented.

Alrik struck her again.

"Don't play with me little girl." he spat. "You are an apostate and you are trying my patience."

Allison's lips felt numb and she found she couldn't answer him.

Alrik looked disgusted. "There are ways of finding out what you are."

Alrik closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Allison watched fearfully, unsure of what he was doing.

There was a sort of vibration in the air and Alrik fisted his hands, making Allison cringe in the chair.

He didn't strike out at her. Instead he flexed his arms and Allison felt a wave of some sort of power wash over her.

She didn't know what it was supposed to do, but Alrik looked angry.

"How did you do that?" he snarled. "No mage can resist a Templar's smite!"

Allison didn't care if he hit her again. "I told you that I'm _**not**_ a mage! If your stupid trick didn't work doesn't that show you that I'm telling the truth?" she shouted.

Alrik laughed but the sound was jagged and hostile. "We'll see."

Alrik motioned the guards and they followed him out the door which Allison heard lock behind them.

She was left alone and her fears came rushing to the surface.

Hot tears spilled down her cheeks as she tried to loosen the bonds, knowing that it was no use. They were metal and she was only human.

Her head hung down to her chest in defeat.

Allison wasn't sure how much time had passed before a harassed looking elf in immaculate robes was ushered into the room by Alrik's men.

Alrik wasn't with them.

The elf looked angry and then surprised as his gaze fell on Allison's bound form.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked in a slightly imperious tone. "You have no right to order me anywhere."

Allison took in the elf's appearance. Besides ornate robes, he also had a staff at his back with three heads like dragons.

Through the pain in her face, Allison grasped that he was a mage.

One of the Templar guards answered him. "Ser Alrik requests that you question this woman on her background and abilities."

The elf, even though shorter than the Templars, still managed to look down his nose at them.

"I am the First Enchanter and I don't answer to _Ser_ Alrik." he replied.

Allison didn't know what a Frist Enchanter was, but the men seemed unimpressed with the title.

The second Templar smirked slightly. "Knight-Commander Meredith is convening with the Divine herself and Ser Alrik has her trust. You will do as you were asked."

Allison stared at the elf and when he turned back to her she realized that he was only _really_ seeing her for the first time.

His expression changed from one of irritation to one of horror.

"What in the Creator's name have you done to this girl!" he exclaimed, stepping closer to her.

Allison held still as he examined her face, though she flinched as his hand brushed over her injuries.

"Where is Alrik?" The First Enchanter demanded.

"Alrik needed to make…preparations, and it is of no concern to you. The girl is an apostate but was able to withstand a smiting. You will find out how." the first Templar replied.

"I will heal her first." The elf said.

The Templars stepped forward menacingly. "You will _not_. She is allowed no healer until the interrogation is over."

"Surely there can be no reason for this." the First Enchanter argued.

The Templars didn't budge and the elf sighed heavily.

"I am sorry child." he began and knelt in front of her. "My name is Orsino. Who are you?"

Allison could taste tears and blood. "I'm Allison and I'm not a mage."

"Why do these men think that you are?" he asked kindly.

Allison licked her lip and tasted more blood. "I can make runes and Alrik said that it's impossible because I'm human. He thinks that I'm using magic but I'm not." Her voice broke on the last word and Orsino placed his hand on her knee and patted it.

"It's alright child. Just tell me the truth, for Alrik is correct. Humans cannot manipulate lyrium in that manner. Only dwarves can as they have not been blessed with the gift." Orsino tilted his head to the side, studying her closely.

One the Templars snorted at that statement but Orsino ignored him.

"Do you have dwarven heritage?" he asked. "I don't see it in your features but they could be recessed if you are of mixed blood."

Allison shook her head then regretted it as her face throbbed. "No. No I'm not part dwarf! I'm human and I'm _not_ a mage!"

Orsino sat back on his heels and stared. It pissed Allison off.

"Look, _you're_ a mage. Isn't there some way for you to run a test or something?" she asked furiously.

Orsino nodded. "It is quite simple for me to sense magic in another." He hesitated. "If I may?"

He seemed to be trying to respect her dignity, showing that he was different from her captors.

"Just do it." Allison murmured tiredly.

She just wanted to go home; home to Anders.

Orsino closed his eyes and waved a hand over her body. His eyes snapped open in surprise and something else.

"I sense nothing." he said, but his tone implied that it wasn't completely true.

Orsino straightened and aimed a haughty look at the Templar guards. "I need you to step outside."

The Templars were obviously going to argue but Orsino cut them off.

"Your presence is interfering with my ability to examine her. Alrik wants answers doesn't he?" Orsino said, knowing that these particular Templars were new enough not to know that he was lying.

They looked at each other but did as he asked, shutting the door.

Orsino quickly knelt again. "Child, you must tell me where you are from. It is imperative." he whispered.

Allison was taken aback by his urgency. "What do you mean?"

Orsino looked over his shoulder. "Whatever story you have told these men, it's obvious that you have not told them the truth. I can sense it. You are not from this world."

Allison was astonished and terrified all at once. No one knew her secret except for her friends. If she told Orsino the truth, what would he do?

"I can't trust you." she said.

"You must! Your life depends on it." Orsino pleaded. "Alrik will never let you go as long as he believes that you are using magic, and because you cannot prove how you are able to manipulate lyrium, you will be held indefinitely!"

Allison searched the elf's eyes and decided to try. All he could do was not believe her.

She told him the story of her arrival in Kirkwall. She omitted the part about meeting Anders though. There was no way that she would endanger him or any of her friends.

Orsino contemplated her words grimly. "I have heard of such travels through the Veil. But I have never met anyone who had actually made such a journey or who had come from so far away as another time."

Allison tried to lean forward but her arms protested. "You've heard of this? Do you know how it happens? How a person could get back?"

Orsino shook his head sadly. "No, I'm sorry. The few accounts that have been relayed to me over time lead me to believe that these openings in the Veil happen only once every few centuries."

Allison felt numb again but for different reasons now. "_Centuries_?"

"Yes my dear. I'm sorry to dash your hopes so. But we must discuss how to get you out of here." Orsino insisted. "Your being from another world explains why you have abilities that humans here do not but, Alrik will not believe you and even if he did they would simply hold you for study."

"What am I supposed to say? How do I explain what I can do?" Allison asked desperately.

Orsino thought for a moment. "It's simple. Tell them you lied. Tell them that a dwarf really did make the runes but you thought that you could get more business claiming that a human had made them."

One of the Templars banged on the door. "Orsino! You've had enough time. We're coming in."

Orsino patted her knee again. "Have faith child. I will straighten this out."

He stood and called, "I'm coming out. I have answers for you."

The elf turned and nodded, giving Allison a smile of encouragement before he walked out.

Allison's arms were starting to ache badly and she shifted trying to get more comfortable. There was nowhere to move though and the ache intensified.

"If I can just get through this, then I can go home and Anders will be there and everything will be fine." Allison said out loud to no one but herself.

She waited and waited. It seemed like hours had passed but no one had returned to get her.

Where was Orsino? Had he been able to convince them?

Allison thought she might have dozed off as the door opened. She could see that the hallway outside was now lit with lanterns.

_How long had she been here!_

"Orsino?" she called weakly.

The Templar guards from before entered.

"Your friend isn't coming. Alrik was…dissatisfied with the First Enchanter's explanation. You will now be taken to Alrik for further questioning."

Once again she was hauled up and her legs gave way, forcing the Templars to carry her weight.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, looking around for help. There was no one in the empty hall and the Templars moved quickly through the dim light, taking her through yet another door.

They went through an underground passage that became colder and wetter the further they went.

Allison shivered but whether it was from the cold or from fear she didn't know.

_Help me please_…she thought.

The passage opened to a small dock and the Templars loaded her onto a boat and untethered the line. They began rowing across the dark waters.

Allison refused to sit quietly while she was kidnapped.

"Where the hell are you taking me! You can't just go around abducting people! I'm a human being." she yelled.

They ignored her.

"You saw what happened when Alrik tried to smite me or whatever. You _saw_! I'm not a mage. Didn't Orsino tell you that?" she continued.

One of them glanced back. "Mages always protect each other, even ones who know better like Orsino."

Allison felt a sob rise in her chest but she forced it down. "If I was such a powerful mage that I could craft runes and be unaffected by your smiting, why would I let you capture me like this?"

"It's not up to us to question Alrik's orders." was the only answer she got.

Allison kicked out at the seat in front of her. The Templars didn't care if she threw a fit apparently.

"What is Alrik going to do?" she asked, afraid to hear the answer.

There was a hesitation before one them answered. "He has…ways to get information out of people. It would be best if you just told the truth."

Allison did sob then, a soft sound full of despair. "I _am_ telling truth." she whispered.

There was no reply from either man.

The boat hit ground and Allison was lifted by the arms and marched into another passageway.

There were torches lit here and the passageway opened into a large room full of crates with large drop cloths thrown over them.

In the center of the room, in a halo of light, stood Ser Alrik. He was surrounded by a group of about a half a dozen Templars.

He gestured to a chair and the Templars placed her there, putting her hand behind her again.

Allison had never been so scared in her life. Even when her parents had died right in front her, it was nothing like the icy fear she felt now.

"Wait outside." Alrik ordered them, and the entire group marched out.

When they were gone, he circled Allison's chair as if he was looking at an interesting plant or painting.

"Well. Shall we get started?" he asked politely.

**EARLIER IN DARKTOWN…**

By the early afternoon, Anders had written more of his manifesto and tweaked some of the writing for a more logical argument.

It was one of the times that he and Justice worked well together. The spirit would help Anders to craft the words and Anders gave them a more human touch.

He looked at the shadow of the sun across the wall and realized that he had forgotten to eat again.

Allison would have his hide if she found out, so Anders stood up and stretched and then headed for the main room to grab something.

He was surprised that Allison wasn't back yet but it was possible that she had gone to the Hanged Man after she left the Gallows. Maker knew that Varric could keep her there with tale after tale of impossible adventures and romance.

Anders thought that perhaps he should save her, and he picked up his new staff and headed out the door.

The streets were fairly quiet and the smell wasn't quite as ripe as usual. That was a good thing.

Or maybe it was him that had changed.

Anders could see that life didn't look as hopeless and desolate as it had before. He had believed that having a purpose, like freeing mages from the tyranny of the Circle, was enough to fulfill him.

Deep down inside though, he had never been at peace with the idea of living alone for the rest of his life while he fought for the lives of other mages. He had yearned for more, dreamed of more, but he had never expected to have his heart's desire.

Anders' mind went back to that first day. The day that had changed his life. The day he met Allison.

He could never have known that when Tomwise came in carrying an unconscious woman, that woman would alter his whole existence.

He felt the transformation all the way down to his soul and he embraced it.

With Allison, he could have a life, happiness. Things wouldn't be perfect. How could they be as long as he was a fugitive in his own land? But at least he could be with her.

Allison was spirited and intelligent. Genuinely kind and she had a sense of humor that could get through even his darkest moods.

He loved her in a way he had not known was possible.

His musings came to an end as he entered the Hanged Man.

Anders searched through the late day crowd but didn't see Varric or Isabela among them.

He went upstairs and knocked on Varric's door.

The dwarf answered with a large smile and ushered Anders inside. Isabela was seated at the table studying a map.

Allison wasn't with them. Anders frowned slightly.

Isabela smiled. "Good, you're here. You're good at reading silly maps. Come over here and help us figure out where this lockbox is buried."

Anders walked over but his mind was racing. _Where was Allison?_

"Blondie, you want something to eat?" Varric offered.

Anders waved is hand, distracted. "Have either of you seen Allison today?"

Isabela shook her head, still bent over the map. "No dear. She hasn't come by."

Varric chuckled. "Did you lose her?"

The words echoed in Anders' head.

_Did I lose her?_

When Anders didn't laugh Varric paid closer attention to his friend and saw that the color had drained out the mage's face.

Isabela looked up too and took notice.

Varric patted Anders on the back. "Hey, I was only kidding."

Isabela had a bad feeling though and she never ignored her gut. "Anders? When was the last time you saw Allison?"

Anders tried to remain calm. After all, he had no logical reason to be afraid.

"I…I saw her this morning when she left to run some errands." he said.

"Where was she going?" Isabela pressed.

"Um, she mentioned several places: Lirene's, she might have mentioned Sandal. But first she had to go to the bloody Gallows." he said irritably.

If Anders hadn't been looking right at them he would have missed the swift look that passed between Isabela and Varric.

For some reason his skin felt cold and his heart sped up a little.

"What?" he asked.

They looked at each other again as if bidding the other to speak up.

"So help me, if you don't start talking _right_ now…" Anders said, his voice rising.

Isabela put her hands up. "Alright, alright. Look, there's probably nothing to be worried about."

Varric looked slightly unsure. "Yeah, I mean we haven't seen him around anymore."

Anders definitely felt nervous now. "Seen _who_?"

Isabela took a chance and hoped that Anders didn't filet her. "A while back there was a Templar watching Allison."

"**What!**" The voice was that disconcerting mixture of both Anders and Justice. "Why didn't you tell me?" It was just Anders who spoke now.

"Calm down." Varric urged him. "We scared him off and we stayed on the lookout but no one else ever showed up."

"There's no reason to assume that anything's wrong Anders." Isabela tried to assure him. "Let's just follow her footsteps and figure out where she is."

Anders' head was full of unspoken fears and images of the dream that had haunted him after Karl's death.

_Please let her be alright_, he prayed.

They needed to head to the Gallows first, but Anders would have to be cautious and not draw attention to himself.

Varric tossed him a coat and Anders put it on over his robes.

When they docked at the Gallows Anders looked for a dwarven merchant.

"Allison was responding to the note that Umbar sent, asking her for more runes." Anders explained.

Isabela looked over to the far side of the courtyard. "I know who he is, but you should stay here while I talk to him."

Anders just wanted to find Allison and he felt like he was losing time.

Isabela walked over to the merchant and Anders could see even from this distance that the dwarf looked startled.

Varric leaned over. "Does he seem a little nervous to you?"

Anders felt anxiety creeping over him. "Yes, he does. But why would he be?"

That's the question I think Rivaini is asking him now." Varric replied.

Indeed, Isabela now had the dwarf by the scruff of his collar and she had hauled him up and over the stall.

He was talking fast and gesturing wildly. Isabela let him go and when she turned back around Anders saw that she was pale.

"Oh no." he whispered. "Something's happened."

"Stay calm. Let's hear what she found out." Varric said, holding Anders' arm.

Isabela approached them but kept her face averted so the guards couldn't see her.

"That little weasel says that Allison was taken in for questioning by the Templars."

Anders vision went dark for a split second before he felt heat racing along his spine.

Varric and Isabela both took hold of him while trying not to cause a scene.

"Stop it Anders!" Isabela hissed. "And you too Justice, you idiot!"

"Allison needs you to keep it together or we can't help her." Varric said, ready to knock Anders out if needed.

Anders' eyes flashed blue and his hands crackled with energy but he got a hold of himself with great effort.

As they were struggling with him, someone else had approached them.

"Excuse me." a pleasant voice said.

They looked up and saw the merchant Sol standing there with his hands behind his back and a friendly smile on his face.

"Look pal, this isn't the time." Varric said.

Sol simply kept smiling. "I thought that perhaps you would be interested in some new merchandise I've acquired?"

Anders was about to punch the mage in the face when he caught the look in Sol's eyes.

Sol knew that he had gotten their attention and he continued speaking pleasantly. "I think you should come over to my stall where I can show you my new wares."

He turned and started walking back across the courtyard.

Anders' head was full of noise. Justice was churning with anger and Anders' own emotions were volatile.

_Allison needs us._

He kept repeating the thought like a mantra to keep himself sane.

At the stall, Sol took them back where Isabela and Allison had been before, and dropped the pretense.

"The Templars have your friend." he said.

"We know that!" Isabela snapped. "Did you see what happened?"

Sol nodded. "That rat Umbar turned her over to Ser Alrik."

At the sound of that name Anders went numb with fear. "Alrik? Ser Otto Alrik?" he repeated.

Sol nodded again. "Yes. I see you know him."

Varric and Isabela looked at Anders for answers.

"He's a nasty piece of work. Fancies himself on a holy mission from Andraste and he uses whatever means necessary to accomplish his blighted mission!" Anders told them as he struggled to keep Justice from taking over.

_Not yet_, he promised. _When she's safe._

Sol looked around. "I've been keeping my ears open since they took her and I know that Alrik told Orsino to question her."

Isabela didn't understand. "What are they questioning her about? She' not a bloody mage!"

Sol looked discouraged. "They found out that she can craft runes and Alrik took her in as a suspected apostate."

Anders cried out and slammed his hands over his ears, falling to his knees.

He writhed as if in pain and Isabela and Varric held on to him desperately.

"Now's not the time Blondie! We have to get your girl. Get a hold of yourself!" Varric snapped, preparing to slap the sense back into Anders.

Anders took deep, gulping breaths and used every bit of will he had to force Justice to stay down.

Sweating, he rose to his feet. "I'm alright. We need to get her _out_ of there."

Sol had an idea. "Let me send my assistant. He's been bringing me information. He'll find out what's going on. Maybe Orsino has figured out that she's not a mage and she's being freed."

"Hurry!" Anders pleaded, massaging his forehead as Justice railed inside him.

"Stay here." Sol ordered and left them to wait.

Anders thought the waiting would drive him mad!

"I swear…if anything has happened to her…" Anders said pacing back and forth.

"We'll get her out." Isabela said, her mood somber. She wanted blood for this, and she'd have it.

As time passed, lanterns were lit in the courtyard and Anders grew more anxious.

He was about to storm the Gallows himself when Sol finally hurried back.

The mage's face was grave and Anders felt his stomach twist and his heart go cold.

"Where is she?" he asked, praying that his world hadn't ended.

"They took her." Sol said.

Anders grabbed the man by the robes, lifting him off his feet. "What do you mean they _took_ her? Took her where?" he growled.

Sol flailed in Anders' grasp. "Orsino went to report on the situation but some Templars locked him in his room. When he got out, she was gone. Alrik had his men take her away. I don't know where."

Anders dropped him, thinking hard.

"I've heard stories about Alrik and his private army. Mages call them the Dark Templars. They have a meeting place underneath the city, around the sewers."

Isabela was already moving. "Let's go."

"Good luck." Sol called behind them.

Anders let the rage and fear simmer inside him. "They die for this." he swore.

Varric nodded. "We are in complete agreement on that."

_I'm coming Allison_.

Anders wished that she could hear him.

**IN THE WAREHOUSE…**

Allison screamed and it echoed off the walls as did her pleas.

Alrik held the hot poker close to the skin of her stomach again.

"Tell me what you are?" he repeated, beginning to be surprised at the girl's tenacity in the face of torture. She was delightful!

Allison drew in shaking, shuddering breaths. "I _have_ told you. You won't listen. Please…"

Alrik pressed the poker against her flesh and Allison saw white flash before her eyes before her vision began to gray.

Alrik slapped her, hard. "Oh no you don't. You're going to stay awake. We're having so much fun."

Allison wept, her body shaking from the pain. "Please…" she begged.

Alrik put the poker down. "What mage is helping you?"

"What?" Allison asked, sweat pouring down her body. "What are talking about?"

Alrik grabbed her face with hard, bruising fingers and bent over her. "You must be working with other mages. Who are they?"

Even though the agony was blinding, Allison would never betray Anders or send Alrik after Isabela, Varric or even Bodhan and Sandal.

"I don't know any mages." she said, daring to look up at him even though blood ran down her face.

The front of her shirt was splattered with it.

Alrik had started by breaking her nose to let her know what her position was. After he had tired of hitting her face he had moved on to her ribs and back.

Allison was still restrained and she had lost the feeling in her hands long ago.

Alrik walked behind her and proved her wrong as he broke her pinkie finger with a snap.

"Ahhhh!" she screamed and felt vomit rising in her throat.

"Who is helping you?" he asked again in her ear.

She couldn't speak so she just shook her head.

Her index finger snapped under his hands.

Allison could only manage a low moan then.

Alrik was thrilled with her. "You have been more stubborn than any other prisoner I've had. This is wonderful!"

He lifted her head by the hair and stared into her glazed eyes. "What more can you take I wonder?"

Allison spit in his face, the blood dripping down his armor.

Alrik smiled and backhanded her.

"Wonderful."

In the tunnels outside the warehouse, Anders and the others had found the back entrance to Alrik's sanctuary.

As they maneuvered down the twisting passages, they sensed that weren't alone.

Anders put a hand up and they paused.

He peered around a bend and saw two Templars standing guard outside of a door.

_Allison was in there, she had to be!_

He looked back and held up two fingers.

Isabela and Varric nodded. Varric took Bianca off his back but waited to load the arrow so the Templars wouldn't hear it.

Isabela slid around Anders and went low to take the Templar on the right, while Anders readied his staff to take the Templar on the left.

They didn't need to speak. They had worked together long enough to know what to do.

At Anders' order Isabela threw her dagger and lodged it in the Templar's head. He didn't have time to cry out.

Before his companion could react, Anders cast a horror spell on him that made the man fall to his knees whimpering.

Anders swung his staff and struck the man across the face before pressing the crystal against his body and blasting a hole through him.

Varric loaded the arrows now and prepared to go through the door.

Anders was about to speak when a horrendous cry sounded in the corridor.

A woman's cry.

Anders didn't even think, he simply burst into the room with a great shout of rage.

He saw Alrik standing over Allison who was bound in a chair and leaning forward lifelessly.

"NO!" he roared.

Six Templars flooded into the room and Anders summoned the shield that Allison's rune gave him.

His voice rang with the sound of Justice; the two working as one.

"**Let them come**!" They beckoned the Templars to them.

Anders' hair flew about his face, blue lightening crackling through the blond strands.

He looked like a vengeful angel, shimmering with raw power.

For the first time, Anders kept control; he demanded control. _He_ would kill the monsters who had dared to touch her.

All he could see was his love; slumped over, bound and covered in blood.

Anders could feel Isabela and Varric with him, but he didn't need them.

All he saw was her.

He focused his howling rage on the advancing men and lashed out with the force of his will.

A wave of magic streaked across the air and when it hit the Templars their bones shattered into pieces.

Their cries were nothing to sound of Allison's agony in his head.

Lifting his hand, Anders picked the men up, their bodies broken, and hurled them through a wall.

Alrik watched the mage wielding a strange magic he had never seen before. The man's eyes glowed with blue heat that was unholy and blinding.

Alrik saw his men crumble, literally, and ran for it.

There was an escape hatch that led to the sewers and he would rather brave that then go up against a foul magic he didn't know.

At least for now.

He would remember the face of the man that had slaughtered his Templars and he would come for him someday.

Isabela stopped gaping at Anders' massacring the entire group of Templars long enough to see their leader escaping.

"He's getting away!" she shouted.

Anders turned to pursue, consumed by anger but a quiet groan reached his ears and at once the power went out of him.

He fell to his knees as the rage left him drained.

Anders stumbled to his feet and rushed over to Allison.

Blood covered her face and soaked the front of her shirt. Her eyes were almost swollen shut.

Anders made a sound of anguish as Isabela quickly loosed Allison's restraints.

She fell forward into his arms and he held her close to him murmuring to her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" he whispered over and over.

Varric felt sick. "Watch out for her fingers." he warned quietly.

Anders saw that several of them were broken and he howled.

Isabela wanted to kill something, badly, but she focused on her friend.

"Anders we need to help her." Isabela said calmly, careful not to risk Justice coming out again.

Anders was blinded by tears as he rocked Allison in his arms.

"Love? Can you hear me?" he called.

Allison didn't respond and Anders forced his hands not to clench around her. Her poor body was bruised and broken already.

"I'm drained. I can't heal yet. I need to get her home." he rasped.

He lifted her carefully in his arms, wincing when she moaned again.

"I've got you. You're going to be alright." he promised.

He held her against his chest and they made their way out of the tunnels and back up to the surface.

It was pitch black out so Varric grabbed a torch to light their way.

Anders stepped carefully so as not to jostle Allison any more than necessary.

Her breathing was ragged and he walked faster, afraid that she had serious internal injuries.

She made a sound of distress and Anders pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I'm sorry." he whispered again.

It felt like it took an eternity to get back to the clinic.

Isabela locked the door as Anders placed Allison on their bed.

He ran to his shelf and grabbed a lyrium potion, guzzling it quickly and felt his power being restored.

He threw his robe aside and spread his hands over Allison's body.

The damage was massive, and Anders swallowed the keening wail that wanted to break through as he saw her injuries in his mind.

"Isabela. There's a red bottle on that shelf. Bring it quickly!" Anders ordered. "Varric there's a jar with a yellow paste inside on that table. Give it to me."

Isabela handed him the bottle and Anders took the cork out and placed it against Allison's lips.

She was still unconscious but he spoke to her.

"Love, I need you to drink this. Please." he tilted the bottle and let the liquid slowly flow between her lips.

Tilting her head, Anders helped her to swallow.

"That will start the healing process. Isabela, I need cloths and a bowl of water. Varric heat up a kettle so we can keep the water warm and clean.

Isabela handed him a white cloth that soon became dark red as he cleaned Allison's battered face.

When her skin was visible, the cruelty of her wounds became evident.

Isabela swore. "That son of a bitch broke her nose!"

Anders kept the anger at bay. It wouldn't help Allison for him to lose it now.

The break was making it difficult for her to breathe. Anders focused his magic on mending the bones and cartilage.

Allison made a choking sound briefly before her body realized that it could breathe easier.

Anders focused on her ribs next, as one had pierced a lung which was now filling with fluid.

When he lifted her shirt he saw the burns from the poker.

Varric walked away and they heard him break something in the other room.

The water in the bowl became redder as Anders worked. Varric switched out the water and then turned around while Anders removed Allison's clothing.

Anders healed her broken fingers and swore that Alrik would know the height of pain before he died.

He wrapped the blue robe around Allison and went back to work on the remaining injuries.

When he had done all he could, Anders sent Isabela and Varric home.

"She needs rest. You can see her tomorrow." Anders told them.

He sat in a chair next to the bed and took Allison's now healed, hand.

He kissed her fingers and felt the pulse in her wrist as she slept. The pulse that reassured him that she was alive.

The tears came then.

He had almost lost her. If he had been any later…if he hadn't felt that something was wrong…

He bent over and kissed her cheek.

"I will never let anyone hurt you again." he swore. "I love you."

She didn't stir and Anders watched over her, and planned.


	28. Chapter 28 Night Terrors

***So sorry an update has taken so long, and sorry that it's short but I figured something was better than nothing. When the author has chronic health crap, the writing suffers. Thanks for being patient everyone. :)***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 28 – Night Terrors

"HE'S BURNING ME!"

Allison's bloodcurdling shriek wrenched Anders from his slumber in the chair beside her and had him reaching automatically for his staff.

Justice rose swiftly within him and his hands glowed with magic from the Fade.

Almost as quickly Anders remembered where he was, and where Allison was. The magic banked down and he saw Allison sitting up in the bed, her long dark hair tangled; a wild look on her face.

Her stormy-colored eyes were open but Anders could tell that she was still partially asleep. They were glazed and she looked around without seeing. Her hands clutched the bed covers so tightly her fists were shaking.

Anders felt as if his heart has been pierced with ice. He would rather suffer the torments of the damned than see the look on Allison's face.

He bent down slowly and touched her shoulders.

Allison screamed again and scurried to the far end of the bed, pressing her back against the wall in a crouch. She still didn't see him. She seemed to be trapped in some kind of nightmare.

"Don't touch me!" she cried, her pupils practically nonexistent with shock.

Anders felt his knees wanting to give out. He couldn't bear this. Her pain, her fear, it was too much. But, he had to reach her.

Slowly, Anders knelt at the side of the bed. His voice was gentle and calm.

"Allison? Love? It's me; it's Anders. Can you hear me?"

She continued to look around the room but now she appeared confused.

"Anders?" she repeated. "Anders isn't here. I can't talk about him, it's not safe. They'll take him away."

It was like a kick in the stomach to hear her say those words; to know that even while she had been tortured, her thoughts had been about protecting him from the Templars.

"Allison." Anders' voice broke and he had to swallow and try again. "You're safe now. Alrik is gone. You're home."

Allison shook her head. "I can't go home. The elf said so."

Anders didn't know what she meant so he filed that away for another time.

"Allison, you're home with me. You're at the clinic." he continued. "I need you to wake up now."

Anders took a chance and reached for one of her clenched hands. They were like ice but she didn't pull away. She looked like a lost child.

"Allison, wake up." he ordered more firmly.

Anders shifted and sat on the bed, still holding her hand. He reached for her with his other arm and drew her into his embrace.

Allison caught a familiar scent. It smelled like herbs and cedar.

_Anders._

She blinked and she was no longer in that cold, damp warehouse. She was in Anders' arms, in their bedroom at the clinic.

Anders felt Allison's posture change as she came fully awake.

A sob was wrenched from her chest and a heartrending wail tore from her throat.

Anders thought the sound would kill him.

"Shhh…I've got you. You're safe. Shhh." Anders rocked her as he had back in Alrik's lair.

Allison wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could. She couldn't stop crying no matter how hard she tried.

Anders felt her body shaking and he tightened his hold on her, kissing her hair and her forehead.

He cursed the Templars and he cursed himself for letting her out of his sight.

He had been a complacent fool and Allison had paid the price.

Allison pulled back suddenly and began frantically running her hands over her face and body.

"He burned me. He cut me. He hit me." she murmured to herself in a dazed voice. "There was blood. He laughed. Where's the blood?"

Anders caught her hands in his. "Listen to me. Isabela, Varric and I found you. I healed you. Everything is fine now."

He knew it was a lie when he saw her face.

He had healed her, but there were some scars that never went away; some injuries that magic could not touch.

He held her face in his hands as slow tears slid down her cheeks.

"I am so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you. I'm so sorry that I let them hurt you." Anders said, his voice thick with his own unshed tears.

Allison's mind was overwhelmed with everything that had happened. Flashes of Alrik's face appeared before her eyes and she shuddered.

She heard Anders speaking to her but she couldn't fully comprehend what he was saying.

Anders watched Allison curl up into a tight ball on the bed and in that moment, if he could have murdered every Templar in Thedas, he would have.

He tried to keep a leash on his rage because Justice was already seething with righteous anger. The spirit was more than happy to put Anders' thought into action, but now was not the time.

Anders tucked the blanket around Allison's still form and went to make a soothing blend of tea.

The Templars would pay for what they had done to his love. Alrik would know more pain than any mortal had ever experienced.

But there was a time and place for everything and right now, his place was with Allison.

Anders made a pot of tea and poured a cup for Allison.

She was still curled up on the bed; her eyes open as if she were afraid to close them.

Anders sat next to her. "I made you something. Will you drink it for me?"

Allison sat up shakily and took the cup Anders offered. She inhaled the scent and was greeted with the calming notes of chamomile and honey.

She sipped cautiously because her hands were still unsteady.

Anders watched her with sober eyes and she looked away from him.

She felt vulnerable and brittle, like a small touch would break her.

And she hated. Allison hated, truly hated a person for the first time in her life.

The taste of it was bitter.

She drank the tea and felt the warmth of the fluid finally reach the coldness of her hands.

When she was finished, she handed the cup back to Anders.

What did a person do after they had been tortured? Read a book? Go for a walk and pick flowers?

Anders tilted Allison's face up. He could see that she was thinking very hard about something.

"Why won't you look at me?" he asked gently.

Allison shook her head. "I don't know. I just feel…embarrassed?"

It was a question more than an answer.

Anders scowled. "You have no reason to be embarrassed. This is my fault. I should never have let you go to the Gallows."

His conclusion surprised her. "How is this _your _fault? It's Alrik's fault." she disagreed.

Anders' expression was thunderous. "And he will pay for what he's done. If he thinks he has a reason to fear mages now, then he has no idea what I will do to him."

Anders' own bitterness was enough to snap Allison out of her antipathy for a moment.

"Wait." she said, grabbing his wrist. "What are you going to do?"

It was Anders and Justice who looked through the mage's eyes at her now.

"We will teach him new tortures. He will beg for death and then we will deliver it." They swore.

Allison stared into Anders' eyes, seeing the spirit recede, leaving the man she loved; a man that was changing.

"No." she said firmly. "No, you're not going to do that."

It was difficult to say considering her own wishes for Alrik's suffering. She was only human after all.

Anders looked furious. "The hell I'm not!" he shouted.

It was Allison who now held his face in her hands.

"You're a healer Anders. You're not a torturer, you're not Alrik. You help people you don't hurt them." Allison said, taking in his clenched jaw, the way his nostrils flared in anger.

"You don't know who I am." Anders said heatedly. "I'll do what's necessary. Alrik dies for what he did to you."

Allison really didn't like the change she was seeing in him. While she wanted Alrik to pay, she didn't want Anders to commit murder for her. It wasn't as romantic as a novel would make it sound.

"There has to be another way. Can't we go to someone and report him?"

Anders looked at her as if she were mentally ill. "Are you insane or just naïve? The Templars are policed by no one except themselves!"

A thought occurred to Allison then, but she held her tongue, knowing that Anders would lock her in the bedroom if he knew what she was thinking.

What she needed to do was keep him here until she could work out how to handle the situation.

She slid her hands around his neck and hugged him. It wasn't an act. She needed the contact and Anders sensed that.

Immediately his anger was replaced with compassion and his arms came around her as well.

Allison didn't have to fake the shakiness in her voice. "Just stay here for a while ok? I don't want you to leave."

That wasn't a lie either.

He kissed her cheek and the stubbly feel made her smile.

"I'm not going anywhere. You should sleep Love." Anders said softly.

Allison thought of him sneaking out, but again she didn't need to lie.

"Will you stay with me? I don't want to dream about Alrik."

Anders shifted and laid them both down on the bed, and pulled her against his chest. His hold was almost too tight, as if he were afraid of what would happen if he didn't keep her close.

He kissed her temple and forced his body to relax.

"Go to sleep. I'll keep the nightmares away."


	29. Chapter 29 Investigation

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 29 – Investigation

Cullen glared at the Templar Under-Captain who was valiantly trying to hold Cullen's gaze.

"What do you mean we've lost thirteen Templars?" Cullen said in a deceptively calm voice.

The Under-Captain swallowed twice before speaking. "I'm not sure Sir. All I know is that Ser Alrik took a small battalion of men with him and none of them have been heard from for three days."

Cullen was baffled. "You can't just lose a group of men. There must be some idea as to where they went."

The Under-Captain shook his head. "No Sir. Ser Alrik said they were going on maneuvers and that was it."

Cullen stroked his chin, feeling the scruff that told him he needed a shave. He had been visiting a platoon of Templars on the borders on Nevarra and had just returned that afternoon. The news that a group of Templars had mysteriously disappeared had shaken him out of his fatigue but now he had bigger problems on his hands.

"And no one has heard from Ser Alrik either?" he asked.

The Under-Captain was impressive the control of his expression when speaking about the Templar Commander. It was no secret that Cullen and Alrik hated each other as their interpretations of the will of Andraste were vastly different.

It was true that the massacre at the Circle in Ferelden had made Cullen more suspicious of mages, he didn't agree with Alrik's extreme position that mages should either be turned Tranquil or killed.

Despite the horrors he saw in Ferelden, Cullen still believed that mages had some basic rights and forcing Tranquility on them wasn't going to solve the larger problem.

Strangely, Cullen's thoughts turned to Allison, the young woman with whom he had shared an invigorating debate on the freedom of mages. Her words had stuck with him and Cullen had begun to wonder if perhaps a dialogue between mages and Templars could be opened about improving the education surrounding the use of magic.

Perhaps if mages better understood the dangers, they would be more willing to turn themselves over to the Circle.

If Cullen were honest with himself, he also knew that not all Templars treated the mages in the Circle appropriately. There were abuses, though he was loathe to admit it, and Alrik had been accused more than once.

Cullen's gut told him that Alrik was behind the disappearance of the Templar soldiers and that when he figured out the fate of his men, he wouldn't like it.

Cullen turned back to his Under-Captain. "I want you to question everyone who last saw Ser Alrik. He's the key to this. Find out if he told anyone specifics of where he and the men were going and report back to me."

The Under-Captain saluted and hurried to carry out his assignment.

Cullen beseeched Andraste for a happy resolution to the mystery, but his heart told him that this was just the beginning of trouble.


	30. Chapter 30 Putting The Pieces Together

***I want to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone who has reviewed this story. It means so much. I don't know if you all realize that. Thank you.**

**Note: I use the words "Sir" and "Ser" differently. One is like a military address and the other is when using the person's title.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 30 – Putting the Pieces Together

For the next week Anders was awakened by screams.

Allison would be trapped in a dream filled with pain and fear and her cries pulled Anders from the Fade itself.

He would hold her and tell her she was safe, all the while his hatred of the Templars and Alrik especially, grew in strength.

One night Allison awoke screaming again. She felt Anders' arms come around her as they always did but they felt strange; more hesitant, slightly awkward.

She looked up at him with the pale moonlight streaming through the high window and saw Justice reflected in Anders' eyes.

Allison was startled for a moment and she instinctively stiffened before forcing herself to relax.

"Justice? What are you doing here?" Allison asked calmly.

A hand came up and began stroking her hair, again, awkwardly.

His voice was uncomfortable. **"Am I doing this correctly?" **Justice asked.

Allison was stuck between being amused and being horrified.

"You mean stroking my hair?" she asked, trying to sound casual and not sure she was pulling it off.

"**Yes."** Justice replied. **"Anders and I were speaking in the Fade when you woke up and somehow I reacted more quickly than he did."**

Allison had no clue what to say. What did you say to a spirit from the Fade who possessed the body of the man you loved and was now trying to comfort you?

Justice sounded anxious so she decided to be encouraging.

"You did just fine Justice and I'm sorry that I woke you up." Allison patted "his" chest in a gesture of comfort herself.

He shifted and Allison heard him inhale the scent of her hair. It was odd because it was so familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time.

Anders did that all the time but this wasn't Anders, it was Justice. Why would the spirit want to smell her hair?

There was silence for a long moment before he spoke again.

"**It pains us to hear you scream. The anger at not being there to prevent Alrik from hurting you is unbearable to us."** Justice said.

Allison was reminded of Anders' vow to kill Alrik.

"I don't want either of you to do something foolish." she said. "Anders isn't a murderer and neither are you Justice."

His hands moved to her shoulders to gently push her away so he could see her.

"**I am not a murderer. I am a spirit of Justice and it is justice for that Templar to die!"** Justice stated.

Allison had hoped that Anders would have let go of this idea but obviously he hadn't and Justice wasn't discouraging him.

"And what happens to Anders afterwards?" she asked, a hint of anger entering her voice.

"**What do you mean?"** Justice asked in a puzzled voice.

"I mean that Anders is already an apostate. What happens when he kills a Templar? Will he be on the run for the rest of his life?" Allison said hotly.

Justice frowned in the low light. **"I will protect him."**

Allison sat up. "How?"

Justice sat up as well. **"I have abilities that supplement his own powers. He will be safe."**

Allison looked up into those eyes. Eyes that were glowing with anger and indignation.

Through all the magic and the power from the Fade she could see hurt; hurt for her, in Justice's eyes. And they were Justice's eyes at the moment, not Anders'.

Allison shifted to kneel on the bed, facing him. She wondered if she could ever reach the spirit the way she reached the man.

Allison held his face in her hands, the way she had held Anders' the week before.

She stared into that tempestuous pool of raw power and tried to find the spirit that had once befriended a mage who was alone in the world.

"And what about his soul?" she asked gently.

Justice found himself distracted by several things at once.

First, Allison was touching him; _**him**_, not Anders. He could tell by the way she was looking at him, and that was the second distraction. Her eyes were peering into his like she was looking into his very being. It was disconcerting.

"**What do you mean? What about his soul?"** Justice asked. He wanted to lean in to her touch and was confused by the desire.

"Justice. Has Anders ever killed anyone for a reason other than self-defense or because they were criminals?" Allison asked purposely.

Flashes appeared in Justice's mind; Anders' memories of the deaths before they had joined, and then their shared memories of the deaths since they had melded.

"**No, he hasn't."**

Allison had never killed anyone so she felt her way along this argument.

"I imagine that it's always difficult to take a life?" she began.

Justice nodded. **"It is never easy and one never forgets."**

"Ok, so it's not easy and you never forget, and that's when the situation calls for a death." she said. "How do you think it will feel to take a life out of revenge? To actually _murder_ someone?"

Justice began to speak but Allison shook her head and continued.

"No. Think about it. _Really _think about it." she ordered.

Justice went quiet and very still. Allison could almost hear him thinking as she dropped her hands. While he did she studied his face and noticed that Justice actually looked a little different than Anders.

It was something about the way he arranged his face. Before she could ponder it further, Justice blinked and then gritted his teeth.

"**It does not matter! Alrik must die."** Justice said stubbornly.

Allison put her hands on her hips.

"And you'll just let Anders live with that! And what about you?" she accused. "You're supposed to be a spirit from the Fade; a _good _one. I thought only demons gave into desires of vengeance?"

Justice's mouth actually fell open. It was quite comical but Allison stayed focused on her task.

"**I am no demon!"** he shouted.

"I know you're not, but you're treading a very thin line here Justice. And if you give into it you may find yourself transformed into something you don't like." Allison replied, trying not to shout back at him.

Justice was quiet again, a thousand emotions flitting over his face.

His shoulders sagged in a very Anders-like way.

He looked at her, sadness etched in his expression.

Uncharacteristically, his hand raised to touch her face. He ran his thumb over her cheekbone as softly as a feather.

Allison's breath caught at the unexpected gesture.

"**You don't understand what you mean to him; what you mean to us."** Justice stated quietly. **"You don't know what it was like to find you bloodied and limp in that awful place."**

He was still caressing her cheek.

"I know how I would feel if it had been me finding you being hurt like that." Allison replied.

In her mind she was thinking mainly of Anders but Justice was a part of him as well.

"**Then do you not see why the Templar must die?"** Justice reasoned.

"I know why you would want him to." Allison answered. "Do you think I don't feel the same way? He tortured _me_ after all."

Justice looked puzzled. **"Then why do you fight so fiercely for his life?"**

Allison mirrored Justice's movement, touching his cheek with her hand.

"I'm not fighting for his life. I'm fighting for yours; yours and Anders'." she said. "I can't help but feel that killing someone out of anger or hate or vengeance will alter you forever. You won't be the same people afterwards and I don't want to see that."

Allison moved closer to Justice on the bed. She smiled a little as she pushed his hair away from his face. That face that she loved so much.

"I'm asking you not to do this. Let's find another way to make sure that Alrik never hurts anyone again. I think we can do it if we put our minds to it." Allison beseeched.

She stared into the spirit's eyes.

"Please?" she asked simply.

The spirit looked pained before he responded.

"**It would kill him if something happened to you."** Justice said before the blue light died out of his eyes.

Anders looked back at her now, his expression unreadable.

"Are you okay?" Allison asked hesitantly.

Anders didn't answer her. Instead her drew her forward into his arms and crushed his lips against hers.

There was a desperate feel to the way his lips moved over hers and Allison's body responded to it.

They hadn't been together since Alrik had kidnapped her and Anders seemed to need to feel every part of her.

He had heard Justice's conversation with Allison. He had heard her worries over what would happen to him if he murdered Alrik.

Anders had also felt Justice's bewildered reaction to Allison's touch. That desire to get closer to her.

It was a pale reflection of Anders' own passion for her.

Anders plundered Allison's mouth and pressed hot kisses to her shoulders and neck. He unbuttoned the shirt she slept in and tossed it to the foot of the bed.

The moon was high and he could see her glorious curves in the light as he feasted on the taste of her skin.

Allison's breath was coming in short pants now but she managed to reach down and untie Anders' breeches, freeing him from the constraints.

He hissed as she touched him and she smiled when he bit her shoulder lightly.

Anders drew one hand down the plane of her stomach and past the narrow waistband of her smallclothes. He was rewarded when Allison bucked against his hand, her cry of pleasure breathed against his ear.

He couldn't wait anymore so he drew her smallclothes down over her hips. Allison wriggled the rest of the way out of them.

Anders lifted her onto his lap and held her hips steady while he sank into her.

The pleasure was so intense that he thought he might lose it at any moment, like a teenager making love for the first time.

They both stilled, trying to make it last before they began moving together.

It was like a dance.

They found the rhythm of it easily. They harmonized; a stroke here, a kiss there. Heavy breathing in the gray light. Gasps and moans echoing up to the high ceiling.

Endearments, and promises reaffirmed.

And finally, fulfillment and peace.

Anders kissed Allison's brow which was now beaded with sweat.

"I can't promise you that I won't kill Alrik if I get the chance, but I'm willing to work with you on another option." he said.

Allison kissed his throat and his chin as the sun began to rise.

"I'll take it." she said.

Anders traced his hand down her spine, thinking of how small she was compared to him, compared to someone like Alrik.

As if she could hear his thoughts, Allison grasped his hands and kissed it. "Don't. Don't think about it right now."

He laid his forehead against hers. "I love you."

"I love you too. Everything will be alright." she promised.

She would make sure everything was alright.

At the Gallows, Cullen was going over a report brought to him by one of the Templars he had sent to question the mages who had been in the courtyard the last time anyone had seen Alrik.

The details were bothering him and he had the feeling that people knew more than what they were saying.

One mage's comments in particular were nagging at Cullen. He called one of his men inside his office.

"Go and bring Solivitus in for questioning." he ordered.

"Yes sir." the Templar saluted and shut the door behind him.

A few moments later the merchant was standing before Cullen's desk, looking nervous and uneasy.

Cullen remained seated and tried to think of the best way to get information out of this particular mage.

Solivitus had never caused any trouble before. He seemed content to hawk his wares to the visitors at the Gallows.

Cullen decided to try being affable.

"Solivitus, thank you for coming in." he began.

Sol jumped slightly at Cullen's tone and the Templar realized that for Solivitus, he hadn't really had a choice about appearing before him, so his greeting probably sounded condescending.

Cullen tried again. "Please, sit down. You're not in any trouble."

That seemed to calm the man somewhat and he took a seat in front of Cullen's desk.

"Solivitus, I need your help in an investigation." Cullen said calmly.

The mage glanced around the room nervously. "Er…what investigation would that be Ser Cullen?"

Cullen's attention was immediately caught by the way the mage tried pretend that he didn't know what was going on. That told Cullen that the mage indeed knew something about the disappearance of Alrik and his men.

Cullen leaned forward in his seat. "I'm investigating the disappearance of Ser Alrik and at least a dozen Templar guards." He paused. "Do you know anything about it?"

Sol swallowed and then smiled charmingly. "What could a simple merchant know about the goings-on of the Templars?"

Cullen arched an eyebrow. "What indeed?"

He rose to his feet and walked to stand in front of the mage who was now stiffening at his approach.

"Sol? I'm not interested in causing you trouble but if you know something about what happened to my men, I suggest you speak now or I'll have to change my mind." Cullen said mildly.

The mage licked his lips nervously and his hands flexed in his lap. A bead of sweat broke out on his forehead as Cullen watched carefully.

The mage was obviously frightened but he was also hiding something.

Perhaps a fellow mage was involved, although the idea of one mage taking out that many Templars was laughable. Perhaps there were several mages involved? The thought had Cullen leaning down in Solivitus' face with a glare.

"If you're protecting your fellow mages from being punished for harming Templars, be assured that I will be quite happy to start my reprisal with you and wring the information out of you myself!" he threatened.

Surprisingly, the mage's expression hardened, fury leaping into his eyes.

"That's the way all of you Templars handle things isn't it?" Sol spat. "You bully innocent people and torture them to get what you want!"

Cullen leaned back a bit. "Templars do not torture mages. There's no need to be so dramatic."

Sol quirked a brow. "Really? Are you sure about that?" the mage said mysteriously.

Cullen knew this was going somewhere so he treaded more cautiously.

He folded his arms and leaned back against his desk.

"What's on your mind Sol?" he asked.

The mage seemed to lose some of his defiance. He glanced down at his lap and spoke with his head lowered.

Cullen got the impression that it was difficult for him to speak.

"Excuse me Ser Cullen because I know that you are an honorable man, if a bit hard in your opinions of mages. But…there are Templars who lack your values and morals." Sol said carefully.

Cullen knew this to be so but it didn't explain what had happened to Alrik and the others.

"It is true that there are some here who should not be Templars. I know this Sol and I am working to filter them out." Cullen admitted.

Sol shook his head. "Excuse me again, but I know that you are thinking of Templars who may strike a mage or attempt to seduce one, or perhaps those who steal from the Circle treasury…"

Sol saw Cullen's shock at that last part and winced. "Or, perhaps you did not know about that part until now."

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. "I see that you and I will have to have another conversation later Sol. But please continue with what you were saying."

Sol took courage from the fact that the Knight-Captain was truly listening and went on.

"While those Templars are surely underserving of duty, there is another group, a clandestine group that is even more dangerous and more vicious than the worst gangs in Kirkwall." he said.

Cullen felt his stomach tighten in stress but he needed to know.

"Tell me about them." he ordered as mildly as he could.

Sol cleared his throat and Cullen handed his a glass of water.

"Thank you Ser. This group of men believes that they are the true servants of Andraste. They believe that the Orthodox Templars, as they call the rest of you, have lost their way. They believe that mages are a plague to be extinguished by any means necessary. But first…they have their fun with them."

Cullen knew the story only got worst from here.

"Are you saying that these men, this secret group, is responsible for the disappearance of Alrik and my men?" Cullen pressed.

Sol looked up and his eyes held pity. Pity for Cullen.

"No Ser Cullen. I'm saying that these men are led by Ser Alrik, and that the Templars who vanished were part of his secret society." Sol explained.

Cullen straightened and Sol cringed.

"Oh stop it man! I'm not going to hit you. But I can't believe this is true. Ser Alrik has some extreme ideas but he would never carry out some sort secret mission to eradicate mages." Cullen said heatedly.

That look of pity was still there.

"Are you very sure of that Ser?" Sol asked.

Cullen heard his own inner voice ask the same question.

"I will look into your claims. Do you have any idea where these men meet? Any information I could track down?" Cullen asked.

Sol's face went through several expressions that had Cullen going still.

Oh yes, the mage knew something.

"Speak Sol!" Cullen snapped.

"Excuse me, but I will not tell you everything I know, in order to protect the innocent who have already been hurt. But I will tell you what I heard about Alrik's hideout." Sol stated firmly.

The mage told Cullen about an abandoned warehouse known to be a gathering place of these so-called Dark Templars, as the mages called them.

Cullen gathered a group of five Templar knights to accompany him as they took a boat from the Circle docks over to the mainland.

Following Sol's instructions, they sought out the network of tunnels that led to the warehouse.

As they turned a corner the smell of death hit their noses and the men backed up instinctively.

A hand to his nose, Cullen examined two bodies that were outside of an opened door.

They were definitely Templars and when Cullen knelt down to see their faces, he recognized two of the missing men.

One had a large, charred hole through his body like a ball of fire had gone through him. Perhaps it had which would mean that a mage had done this.

He and the other soldiers stepped carefully inside the warehouse, their swords drawn.

Cullen reached out with his training to detect magic, but felt none.

There were stacks of boxes and old furniture but it was the center of the room that got Cullen's attention.

Several posts surrounded a chair that had restraints built into it. Patches of dried blood were spattered on the ground around the chair and Cullen felt a chill.

What had this been used for? Why would they need restraints? What the hell had Alrik been up to?

One of the knights called Cullen over to inspect some strange material on the ground several yards away.

Cullen bent down and scooped up a pile of ashes in his gloved hand. There was also some melted flesh on the ground by the smell that still lingered.

Again, signs of magic. A mage had definitely been here.

The question was: who exactly had died here? Two Templars at least by the bodies outside and Cullen would bet his next pay that the pile of ashes were more of the missing men.

But what about Alrik? Were his remains here as well? There was no way to tell.

He needed more information.

Cullen and his men gathered the bodies that they could and loaded them into the boat bound back to Gallows.

He paced inside his office for over an hour before summoning Sol again.

The mage hesitated in the doorway, until Cullen waved him inside and bade him to sit down.

Cullen took a seat as well, he was too disturbed to stand still.

"I went to the warehouse. I found some of my men and evidence that someone had been restrained and injured." Cullen began. "Sol, I need you to tell me what you know."

Sol looked troubled. "I can't do that Ser Cullen."

Cullen bared his teeth, his patience at an end.

"I'm not giving you an option Sol! My men are dead, you tell me that they were involved in some cult led by Alrik and now you wish to be silent?" Cullen shouted.

Sol looked even more stubborn. "I'm sorry, but people have already been hurt and won't send you after them."

Cullen's eyes narrowed. "Protecting apostates is a hanging offense Sol. You know this."

Sol lifted his chin insolently. "I never said that I was protecting a mage."

Something about Sol's tone as he said this caught Cullen's attention.

"Wait. Are you saying that the person who was injured at the warehouse was not a mage?" Cullen asked. "Why would Alrik capture someone like that?"

Sol gave Cullen a long look. "Perhaps you should ask your men who were on duty in the courtyard the day Alrik disappeared."

Cullen stared back at Sol before deciding.

"I will. You can now but I may call for you again and I if I do I hope you're of a disposition to be more forthcoming."

Sol stood. "With all due respect Ser Cullen, I've already risked my life by telling what I have. Not all of the Dark Templars died in that warehouse."

Sol walked out of Cullen's office, leaving the Knight-Captain disturbed.

Cullen studied the duty roster from the last week and saw that two of his recruits had been patrolling the courtyard the last day Alrik had been seen. He ordered them brought in.

The two young recruits stood before the Knight-Captain, looking nervous but curious.

Cullen stood before them, his hands behind his back.

"You were patrolling the courtyard last week the last day anyone saw Ser Alrik." It wasn't a question.

"Yes Sir!" the female recruit replied.

Cullen regarded them for a moment. They were fresh out of training and eager to prove themselves.

"Did you witness anything out of the ordinary that day?" he asked.

The male recruit replied immediately. "No Sir!"

The woman looked at her companion as if he were mad.

"What are talking about? Of course we saw something out of the ordinary." she said with a frown.

The young man looked puzzled. "Huh? What are you on about? Nothing happened."

The woman rolled her eyes. "You remember; the girl and Ser Alrik?"

At the sound of the Templar's name Cullen straightened even further.

"What did you see? Speak up quickly!" he ordered.

The two recruits came to attention immediately.

"Sorry Sir!" the young man apologized with a salute.

Cullen sighed and addressed the female. "Banes isn't it?"

"Yes Sir." she replied.

"Report Banes." Cullen commanded.

"Yes Sir Knight-Captain." she began. "Sir, we observed a young woman at one of the merchant's stalls. After a moment Ser Alrik came over and took her into custody accompanied by some of his…men."

The way she said "his men" made Cullen think that even the recruits were aware that something off was going on. How could he have been so blind?

"Is that all you saw?" he questioned.

The young man spoke up now. "Yes Sir. The girl was taken away and we have not seen Ser Alrik or the men with him since."

Cullen paced now.

"Do you remember what the girl looked like? What merchant she was talking to?" he asked.

Banes responded. "Yes sir. She was speaking to the dwarf Umbar. She was slender, with long black hair and grayish-blue eyes. She was dressed very strangely in a long tunic and some kind of breeches that I've never seen before. Must be from Orlais."

Cullen's blood ran cold. He knew the woman they were speaking of.

Allison!

The recruits saw their Knight-Captain go pale and they started forward.

"Ser Cullen are you well?" the young man asked fretfully.

"Do you need a healer?" Banes asked.

Cullen put a hand up. "No,no. I'm fine, thank you. You have been extremely helpful."

Cullen tried to gather his wits but in his mind he saw the blood splatters on the floor and he felt his heart speed up.

Cullen took a seat and was silent for a moment.

"You can return to your duties but have Umbar brought in immediately." Cullen ordered.

The recruits saluted, giving him one last look before closing the door behind them.

Cullen didn't want to believe that Allison had been the one taken by Alrik but his instincts told him that he was right.

Where was she? Dead? Hurt somewhere?

He remembered her kindness and her smile; the way her eyes had lit up when they argued. It made him want to smile but he couldn't shake the sight of that blood.

Cullen prayed that she was safe.

A knock sounded at the door and at his call, the two recruits came in with the merchant Umbar between them.

"Thank you. You can go." Cullen said. "Have a seat Umbar."

The dwarf looked even more nervous than Sol had.

"Do you know why you're here?" Cullen inquired.

The dwarf fidgeted with his beard. "No Ser Cullen. The Templars didn't tell me."

"Are you aware of a disturbance last week concerning one of your customers?" Cullen asked.

The dwarf's reaction was swift and had Cullen on alert.

Umbar choked and then coughed. His eyes looked around wildly for a moment before he spoke.

"I'm not completely aware, precisely." he stammered.

Cullen's tone was deadly soft. "And what, precisely, are you aware of?"

Umbar looked trapped.

"I uh…I'm aware that…uh, one of my customers was taken away under suspicion of practicing magic." Umbar admitted.

There was something more here, Cullen could feel it.

He changed tactics.

Cullen smiled. "You're not in any trouble. After all, you weren't protecting her were you?"

Umbar blinked and then shook his head. "No Ser Cullen, I mean Knight-Captain. Actually, it was me that turned her in." the dwarf said, pleased with himself.

Cullen kept a tight rein on his emotions.

"Oh? And why did you do that?" Cullen asked pleasantly.

Umbar was more than happy to share what he knew. He told Cullen about Allison's ability to craft runes and about his telling Alrik about her strange gift.

Cullen was even more disturbed after this revelation.

Allison was no mage. He was sure of it. You couldn't be in the Templars as long as he had without your senses screaming when a mage was nearby.

But, he also had no idea how a human could make runes.

Whatever had happened, Umbar had handed Allison over and Cullen now believed that Alrik had hurt her.

He had to find her!

Umbar was dismissed and Cullen made his way over the main Circle tower.

He knocked on the First Enchanter's door and Orsino looked surprised to see him.

"Knight-Captain Cullen." Orsino greeted. "Please come in."

Cullen was a little uncomfortable here. Orsino and Knight-Commander Meredith did not get along and he didn't wish to stay any longer than necessary.

"Thank you First Enchanter." Cullen said as he took a seat. "I won't keep you long. I've just heard a tale and I wished to know if you have ever heard of such a thing before."

Orsino looked intrigued. "Please, do tell."

Cullen furrowed his brow. "Have you ever heard of a human, a non-mage, being able to craft runes with lyrium?"

The First Enchanter surprised Cullen by looking alarmed and then worried. The elf came around his desk quickly, causing Cullen to rise out of concern.

"Have you seen her? Have you heard from her? Where is she?" Orsino asked quickly.

Cullen couldn't believe this. Orsino knew about Allison?

"Wait. You know of whom I speak?" Cullen asked. "How is that possible?"

Orsino gestured for Cullen to sit down again.

"Alrik sent for me last week and when I came to his office, a girl was sitting in a chair, bound and bruised." Orsino explained.

Cullen felt cold and then hot with anger. "He had beaten her?"

"Yes." Orsino nodded. "I managed to speak with her alone for a few minutes and I knew immediately that she was not a mage."

Cullen was relieved. His abilities had not dulled after all.

"Please continue." Cullen prodded.

"When I spoke to her, I could sense that she was not of this world." Orsino continued.

"What do you mean, not of this world?" Cullen interrupted.

Orsino sighed. "How do I explain? Her…energy was different. I could sense that she had travelled through the Veil from another world."

Cullen was astonished. "I've never heard of such a thing. Are you saying that she as a demon?" the thought was immediately rejected by Cullen's mind.

Orsino shook his head. "No, no, not at all. I have heard of rare cases where parts of the Veil are thin and people who exist in other worlds have crossed over through these thin places. Allison herself confirmed what I thought and told me the story of her arrival. I believe that it is her origin that allows her to manipulate lyrium."

Cullen sat back in bewilderment. And yet, Orsino's explanation would explain why Allison was so different from everyone else.

"What happened when you explained this to Alrik?" Cullen asked, tense and fearing the worst.

Orsino looked at him like he was a simpleton. "I did not tell Alrik the truth. How could I? What would have happened to Allison once word got out that she had travelled through the Veil?"

Cullen understood right away. "Meredith would have had her imprisoned and studied."

"Exactly" the elf exclaimed. "I told her that she would have to say that she lied about making the runes as a ploy to get sales. I went to report but Alrik had me locked in my room and by the time I got out, he was gone and so was Allison."

Cullen knew what had happened next, at least partially.

Allison had been taken to that dark place and tortured. It made his insides burn just to think of it.

She was an innocent. Not a mage and she hadn't hurt anyone. And the thought of the Templar name being sullied by the horrendous actions of a few made Cullen want to hunt these men down and see their blood spilled as hers had been.

Thinking back to the warehouse, Cullen remembered the dead bodies and the piles of ash.

Someone else had been there. Possibly several someones. And a mage had definitely been involved.

But who?

Cullen was almost positive that they had been there to rescue Allison. For that he was grateful and he hoped that they had been in time to save her life.

He prayed the she was safe somewhere, but he needed to know for sure.

No matter what the circumstances, Templars had been killed and it would have to be explained somehow.

Cullen needed more answers. He needed to know what had happened to Allison and who her rescuers were.

He wasn't interested in arresting them. Quite the contrary. If all of this talk of Dark Templars was true, then there was a very dangerous element loose in Kirkwall and they needed to be stopped.

Cullen needed to know which of his men he could trust and he couldn't shake the feeling that Alrik's remains were not at that warehouse.

The answers were with Sol. Cullen was sure of it.

This time Cullen went to him in the mage's quarters.

He knocked on the door and saw the disbelief and wariness on the mage's face when he opened the door.

"Ser Cullen." Sol said without stepping back to let him in. "What can I do for you?"

Cullen sighed heavily. The weight of the last few hours were taking their toll. His beliefs about his men had been questioned and now a woman he cared for could be in danger.

"I need to speak to you Sol." Cullen said tiredly.

Something in the Templar's weary expression made Sol step back and let him in.

The mage's quarters weren't large but they looked comfortable and rather homey.

Cullen turned and looked at Sol, his expression serious, his eyes more beseeching than ordering.

"I need you to tell me who went after Allison." Cullen said without hesitation.

Sol looked taken aback and Cullen could see all of the questions going through the mage's head.

"Sol. Just tell me." Cullen repeated.

The mage looked down at the floor. "Ser Cullen, I'm sure you can understand why I can't do that."

Cullen put a hand on Sol's shoulder. The mage jumped and looked confused.

"What if I promise you that the ones involved will not be arrested?" Cullen swore. "Sol, I'm not interested in hurting them. Allison is…well, I know her and I'm worried about her. I believe that Alrik hurt her and I need to know that she's safe."

Sol looked torn, so Cullen continued.

"Whoever it was may be able to help me bring an end to these men. I cannot allow their activities to continue. Will you help me?" Cullen asked.

Sol paced back and forth before meeting Cullen's gaze.

"You swear that nothing will happen to them?" he asked.

"You have my word as Knight-Captain." Cullen vowed.

Sol's shoulders sagged.

"Maker help me. You'll find what you're seeking if you look for the lanterns in Darktown." Sol finally said.

Cullen didn't understand. "What does that mean?"

Sol frowned. "That's all you need to know Knight-Captain. Now please, go so I can pray that I haven't betrayed the people who trusted me."

Sol sat on his bed and looked at the floor. Cullen left, shutting the door behind him.

Lanterns in Darktown? What was it, some kind of riddle?

Cullen decided that this task was better taken on his own.

It was evening already as he took the boat across to the mainland and made his way through Lowtown.

People were getting ready for dinner and he heard singing and fighting coming from the Hanged Man.

Cullen came to the elevator that accessed Darktown and took it down.

The smell hit him immediately though he tried not to flinch.

The streets were made up of camps of refugees. They stood huddled around fires. Some children sat playing games they had made up in their minds since they had no toys.

It broke Cullen's heart to see his people reduced to this state.

As he walked he felt the gazes of everyone upon him. In truth he should've changed clothes but he had been too impatient and bothered to think straight.

He also had no idea if he would be listened to when he found these people. He didn't want to arrest them but he may need to defend himself.

Cullen looked everywhere for the sight of lanterns. He went down winding paths, searched around blind corners.

He headed a different direction and took a small flight of stairs that went past the sea and there he saw it. A string of lanterns hanging over a wide doorway.

The heavy doors were shut so Cullen took a deep breath and knocked.

There was silence for a moment before the door opened slowly.

Cullen's own shocked expression was mirrored by the mage standing before him.

"Cullen." The tone was flat.

"Anders. I should have known."


	31. Chapter 31 Confrontation

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 31 – Confrontation

Cullen couldn't believe his eyes. The infamous mage who had escaped from the Circle of Ferelden seven times was standing in the doorway of a decrepit building in Darktown, and he had the audacity to smirk at him!

"What the devil are you doing here?" Cullen snapped.

Anders merely lifted a brow. "I could ask you the same question."

Cullen worked hard to keep his temper under control. "You would do well to remember who you're speaking to. I'd love nothing more than to drag you to the Gallows."

"Try it." was Anders' response.

Cullen frowned unhappily. "Unfortunately your status as a Gray Warden prevents me from indulging myself. King Alistair's influence is far-reaching and the Wardens still command respect around most of Thedas."

Anders relaxed his stance but did not invite the Templar inside.

"As long as we understand each other." Anders said. "What are you doing here Cullen?"

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm obviously at the wrong place. I was looking for a young woman…"

Cullen had just enough time to register the strange expression that crossed Anders' face before an ear-piercing scream rang through the room behind the mage.

In his surprise, Anders turned, leaving the door open and Cullen immediately recognized the cry as that of a woman.

"You fiend! What have you done with her?" Cullen shouted as he pushed past Anders and ran towards the direction the sounds were coming from.

Anders shouted behind him but Cullen ignored him and pushed the door open.

She was there.

Allison knelt on the floor of the small bedroom. The covers were strewn across the bed and she was looking around the room in terror.

Cullen reacted instinctively and ran to her side, taking her shoulders in his hands.

Allison was locked in a nightmare and all she saw was the symbol of the Templars in her face, emblazoned on armor.

She screamed hysterically, shoving at Cullen blindly. He barely had time to ask her what was wrong before he was flung into the far wall with a force that dented his chest plate and made him see spots.

Cullen slumped to the floor, shaking his head, trying to clear it from the ringing in his ears. He looked up to see Anders standing over Allison, vibrating with rage.

"DON'T EVER TOUCH HER!" Anders roared, and Cullen thought that the mage's voice sounded oddly magnified.

A sob broke from Allison's chest and Cullen watched as the anger abruptly left the mage and his features were transformed by pain, compassion and…_tenderness?_

Cullen watched, flabbergasted at the scene before him. It couldn't be!

Anders knelt beside Allison on the floor, his whole focus on her now.

He cupped her face and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"It's alright Love. I'm here. No one is going to hurt you." he murmured. "Wake up."

Allison shook and finally let out a ragged breath as her dream faded.

"I thought I saw a Templar. I thought Alrik had found me." she whispered.

Anders kissed her forehead and her temples. "You're safe. Alrik is not here."

Still reeling from the revelation of Anders' relationship with Allison, Cullen caught the name and rose slowly to his feet. "Alrik?"

Allison spun around with a startled yelp and then gasped as she saw their guest.

"What are you doing here!" she said with hollow fear.

Cullen felt the need to put his hands up. "I've been investigating the disappearance of Ser Alrik and over a dozen Templars."

Cullen was astonished when Allison stood and squarely placed herself between him and Anders.

It was worse than he thought.

Her face was hard and her stormy eyes sparkled with anger.

"You're not taking him." she said with a tone that dared him to attempt it.

Cullen was distracted from her stance by the fact that she was only wearing a loose men's shirt which left her legs bare. The neck was unbuttoned partially, leaving tantalizing inches of skin exposed.

Cullen had to swallow hard before he could speak. _Maker! She was even more beautiful than he remembered._

A low growl cut through Cullen's stupor and he saw Anders move Allison behind him.

It was clear that the mage knew exactly what Cullen had been thinking.

"I apologize dear Lady. I am not here to arrest Anders. I was in fact looking for you." Cullen stated.

Anders bared his teeth. "Why?" he bit out.

Allison smacked him and stepped back out into Cullen's view.

"Don't get all macho on me." She turned to Cullen. "Why are you looking for me?"

Cullen lowered his hands but stayed back.

"In my investigation I uncovered that you had been unlawfully detained and then transported by Alrik to an abandoned warehouse where he…" Cullen paused, unsure of the best word.

"Almost tortured her to death?" Anders provided with malice.

Cullen couldn't blame him, though he flinched at hearing the word "torture".

"Yes. Yes, I'm sorry, so sorry that happened to you." Cullen said sincerely. "I had no idea that Alrik was commanding his own secret army and carrying out clandestine missions without the approval of the Circle."

Anders took a menacing step forward. "You're sorry?"

Allison grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Stop it. This isn't the time for a fight. I believe Cullen when he says he didn't know." Allison said, still restraining Anders.

"It's his _job_ to know. Or was he so busy making mages Tranquil that it slipped by him?" Anders sneered.

"Enough!" Allison said, stamping her foot on the ground, which she had to admit wasn't very impressive in bare feet.

It was at that moment that she realized her state of undress. Her cheeks heated and she grabbed a sheet, holding it in front of her.

"Why don't you and Cullen go out to the main room and I'll get dressed. Then we can talk about this like rational adults." She ordered them out.

Anders made Cullen go ahead of him and Allison sighed at the mess this evening was becoming.

What was she going to do?

The Knight-Captain of the Templars was currently occupying the same space as her apostate mage.

Allison took a deep breath and pulled on her jeans and a fresh tunic.

Out in the main room Cullen looked around at the beds and cots and the shelves weighed down with herbs and medicines.

Understanding dawned.

"This is the free clinic I've heard about." Cullen said. "I've heard whispers of it even at the Gallows. I had no idea it was run by you."

Anders folded his arms. "You'll forgive me if I didn't make a habit of advertising."

Cullen turned and eyed Anders for a moment before speaking his mind.

"Does she know what you are?" Cullen asked with a nod towards the bedroom.

Anders smiled. "She knows I'm a mage and she doesn't care."

Cullen glared. "I figured out that much. But does she know that you're an apostate?"

Anders smile became more pronounced. "Yes."

Cullen shook his head. "How can you endanger her like this?"

Anders looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

Cullen was aghast. "What do you mean? Your very _existence_ puts her at risk. What can you possibly offer her besides a life on the run, with no home?"

Cullen saw the pain flash across Anders' face before it disappeared just as quickly.

"And I suppose _you_ want to offer her more?" Anders taunted. "I saw the way you looked at her and I know that you expressed an interest in her before."

Cullen blushed but pressed on. "I _can_ offer her more. I can give her a home, a life, children. Can you?"

Again pain flickered on Anders' face but the door to the bedroom opened and Allison walked out.

She was straightening her hair and Cullen thought she looked lovely.

He purposely kept his mind from dwelling on the reasons she would have to be partially dressed in Anders' bedroom. It was clear that she had been fooled by him, and Cullen didn't hold it against her.

Plans formed in his head of how to relinquish her from the mage even as they all sat down at a battered table.

Allison was the first to speak. "Cullen would you like some tea?"

Anders rolled his eyes but remained silent.

"No thank you, although you are very gracious to offer." Cullen replied.

Cullen caught a sound of disgust from Anders' direction but he stayed focus on Allison.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Cullen broached, his voice hesitant but kind.

Allison proceeded to lay out everything that had led to her capture, including her ability to craft runes.

Cullen leaned forward. "I have been led to believe that your appearance in this world was not by normal means."

Allison hesitated, her glance skittering to Anders before she responded.

"It's true." And she told him a tale of another world with wonders he had never dreamed of ending with her rescue by an elf.

Cullen sat back, stunned. "In all my days I have never heard of such a thing. But, I believe you."

The skin around his eyes creased as he smiled at her. "It does explain quite a bit about you."

Allison smiled back. "I bet." And she laughed.

Anders couldn't believe that he was sitting here watching a Templar flirt with the woman he loved. The situation was so ridiculous that he could only watch. Justice was seething but Anders kept a tight leash on him, knowing that being a Gray Warden might mean nothing if the Templars found out a spirit of the Fade resided in him.

Cullen continued. "How did you escape from Alrik and his men? There were signs of battle."

Allison looked down at her hands which were clasped together in stress. She wasn't sure how to answer Cullen without incriminating Anders, Isabela and Varric.

She thought back to that horrible time and tried to think of an explanation.

Cullen saw her distress and reached out, taking one of her hands in his.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you, but Templars have been killed and I must find a way to resolve this matter without it coming back to you." Cullen explained. "I have no desire to hurt anyone who played a role in helping you."

Allison looked up then, surprised. "You mean you don't want to cause trouble for whoever saved me?"

Cullen stared into her eyes. "I swear it. I just need to know what happened so I can craft a story that will satisfy the Knight-Commander."

Cullen had an idea about who was responsible but he knew that there must have been more than one apostate mage. He avoided looking at Anders and kept his gaze on the woman before him.

He still held her hand and he could feel the anger rolling off the mage.

Allison stared back at him, trying to determine if he was telling the truth. Her gut said that he was.

Cullen may be misguided but he was honorable. Of that she had no doubt. If he gave his word, then she believed him.

Fear made her careful though.

"Is it enough to simply say that I was rescued by a group of brave citizens?" she asked.

Cullen shook his head. "I'm afraid that I need the truth. These stories have a way of coming out and I need to know who I'm protecting."

Allison bit her lip anxiously and Anders spoke up.

"I did it." he said.

Allison looked over at him, alarmed at his confession. Her whole body went stiff with anxiety as she watched Cullen's face. She tensed as if readying for a fight, and maybe she was.

If Cullen thought that he was going to take Anders in because of this, he had another thing coming. He would have to go through her first.

Cullen simply raised a brow, much as Anders had earlier. "And who else?"

Anders stayed stubbornly silent so Cullen repeated himself.

"I told you, I need to know who was involved so I can make the story stay as close to the truth as possible. It's possible that someone will be sent in the follow-up on my investigation and it would be worse if I don't know the truth."

Anders leaned forward. "If you hurt them I will hunt you down." he promised.

Cullen remained calm even though he could feel the energy of magic swirling around them as Anders became more agitated.

"I am a man of my word. You have my solemn vow that nothing will happen to them." Cullen swore.

Allison placed a gentle hand on Anders' arm and squeezed. "I trust him."

Anders sighed. "My friends, Varric and Isabela came with me, but it was _my_ idea to go and find Allison."

Cullen nodded." I understand. Now, tell me what you saw."

Anders took up the narration of the story and Cullen could see how much it hurt him to relive what he had seen.

When he was finished Cullen's stomach was sick and he felt like he needed to bathe.

"I cannot believe that such evil has lived right under my own nose!" Cullen exclaimed. "I can only promise that I will root it out until every one of these Dark Templars is gone."

Allison wasn't worried about that at the moment. Her concern was for Anders.

"And what will you do about Anders?" she asked solemnly. "You're a Templar, he's an apostate. Your job is to take him away isn't it?"

Her muscles bunched and tightened as she contemplated trying to prevent Cullen from carrying out his duty.

Cullen saw the fear in Allison's eyes and cursed the fact that Anders had found her before he had.

"As I told Anders, I am not prepared to go against the edict that protects the Wardens. He is safe. For now." Cullen added ominously.

Anders threw up his hands. "Even now you cannot help but dream of arresting me! Even after you've seen the good I am doing here. Or do your fellow Fereldens not matter to you? Has your life at the Gallows made you blind to the suffering of our people?"

Cullen stood angrily. "You know nothing of my life or my feelings about our countrymen!"

Anders stood as well. "I know that you do nothing to help them. Refugee mages are still imprisoned and treated like slaves."

"They are not slaves!" Cullen said between his teeth. "You always over-dramatized everything, even back in Ferelden."

Anders' fist hit the table making it shake. "It was not over-dramatizing! How can you say that about the abuses that the mages suffered? They were beaten, some of them were raped, and we were all denied the chance to have a family or have any life outside of those walls."

Cullen heard the bitterness but he also knew that Anders was not completely wrong.

"Mistakes happened, yes, but I strive to keep the Gallows free of those horrors." Cullen said wearily.

Anders glanced pointedly at Allison. "And how is that working for you?"

Allison stood up. "Please don't." she said quietly. She rubbed Anders' arm soothingly, but he walked off, going into the bedroom.

Allison watched him walk away, feeling helpless to ease his suffering. She knew that his memories of his captivity in the Circle haunted him as much as Alrik haunted her.

"I'm sorry my Lady. I didn't mean to get into an argument." Cullen apologized.

Allison couldn't find a smile at the moment. "Isn't that what Templars and mages do? Argue endlessly instead of actually fixing things?"

Cullen pointed at the bedroom. "How can we fix anything when we can't even speak to each other?"

Allison frowned at him. "You could start by acknowledging the wrongs that have been done to mages."

Cullen sighed. "You sound like one of them."

She got angry. "I'm glad. Someone needs to make you see the truth."

Cullen frowned back. "_Their_ truth you mean."

"Is Anders wrong about what takes place?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"No but…"

"No but nothing. Can you even for a moment put yourself in their shoes? Have you even for a moment thought about what it's like to be torn from your family as a child and locked away because of something you have no control over?" she continued.

Cullen's face became granite. "I _do_ know what it's like. I was taken from my family and put into the Chantry. I've had no life outside of living with mages who hate me or seeing them turn to demons."

Allison ran her hand through her hair. "I'm sorry that you lost your family but that should make you empathetic Cullen."

"You don't know what mages are like." he argued.

Allison's voice became soft. "Yes I do. I've lived with one on a day-to-day basis and I've seen how amazing he is. Do you know how beautiful that man's soul is?" she asked, looking at the bedroom again.

She continued. "I've seen him run himself into exhaustion trying to save someone's life. He thinks nothing of his own needs. He just wants to use the gift he has to heal others. How is that evil?"

Cullen thought for a moment before he answered. "Their…talents are not evil in of themselves. The danger lies in the desire for power and the way those abilities can be misused in the seeking of that power."

Allison's mouth fell open before she recovered. "Are you kidding me?"

At Cullen's confused look she spoke on.

"Every single person in the world is at risk of seeking power and using that power to hurt others. Even Templars!" she exclaimed.

"But Templars or the general public for that matter, don't have the ability to rain fire and lightening down on the world and devour it." Cullen said.

Allison took tried another tactic. "Do the mages in the Circles ever help you on your missions?"

"Yes."

"And am I right that many mages helped during the last blight?" she asked.

"Yes, they did. What is your point?" Cullen asked trying to understand the way her mind worked.

"So, you have no trouble using magic when it benefits you. You lock the mages up and only take them out when they're useful, and then they go back to being prisoners and they never get the thanks of the people or any acknowledgement for their role in Thedas' safety?" she concluded.

"It's not like that." Cullen began, but he couldn't say it with absolute conviction. Her words rang true.

"Either magic is evil or it's not. You can't have it both ways. Which one is it?" Allison asked.

Cullen mulled his answer and then surprised her by laughing. Allison looked perplexed by his reaction so he explained.

"You have me befuddled my Lady, I cannot lie. Your arguments as always have given me something to think about." he admitted.

She smiled then. "I'm glad. I sincerely believe that mages and Templars can get along a lot better than they do, but they need someone on both sides to help them."

Cullen stepped closer to her and took her hand, bending over it and placing a kiss on it.

"I admire your desire for peace my Lady."

His eyes lingered on her face long enough to make her uncomfortable and she shifted back and forth on her feet.

"May I ask you a question?" Cullen prompted.

Allison was quite sure that she did not want to hear this question, but she had no way of evading it politely.

"Sure."

Cullen continued to watch her closely. "If you had met me first. If the heroic healer hadn't swept in first, would you have chosen me?"

Allison's eyes widened at the unexpected question. The scenario he presented flashed into her mind.

She arrives in Kirkwall and instead of Tomwise chasing those bandits away, Cullen does. What would have happened?

Unbeknownst to Allison, Anders was standing by the bedroom door listening. Cullen's accusation of his lack of ability to care for her was still ringing in his ears. He needed to hear her answer as much as the Templar did.

Allison was quiet for a while, thinking it through carefully before she gave her answer.

"I think that even if I had met you first, I would have eventually met Anders and fallen in love with him." she confessed. "I would always think that you were a caring and honorable man Cullen, but I believe that I was _meant_ to meet him. How else can I explain what's happened?"

Anders felt the pressure in his chest ease at Allison's declaration.

Cullen frowned but rallied a small smile anyway. "Will you be very angry with me if I tell you that I cannot give up on you?"

Allison blinked and started fidgeting. "Um, I don't know what to say to that Cullen. I don't want to hurt you and I honestly like you. I'd like to be friends, but if that isn't possible…"

Cullen held up a hand. "I too would like to be friends."

The Knight-Captain brushed the hair out of her face and Anders was sorely tempted to rip his arm off and beat him with it!

He only held his place out of respect for Allison. He had no desire to dictate her actions or who she befriended, even though he couldn't imagine a friendship with a Templar succeeding.

Allison froze at Cullen's touch and he withdrew his hand with a wistful look.

"I will make my report to Knight-Commander Meredith. I will keep my promise to your friends and I will seek out the members of Alrik's cult."

Allison grabbed his hand and held it in appreciation. "Thank you Cullen."

He smiled then. "You are most welcome and I bade you to please be careful. We have no evidence that Alrik was killed. He may still be out there."

As Allison blanched, Anders came to her side and put his arms around her.

"I will protect her." he vowed.

Cullen studied the mage's face and he had no doubt that Anders would fight until his last breathe to keep Allison safe. It didn't anger him; on the contrary he was glad that she had such a dedicated defender.

He bowed to Allison and after hesitating a moment he held out a hand towards Anders.

Anders was astonished and completely taken aback by the Templar's actions.

Was he serious?

Anders held out his hand cautiously, his mind thinking back to all that times the Templars had clapped irons over his wrists, and saw Cullen close the space and shake his hand.

"I bid you goodnight." Cullen said and stepped out into Darktown.

Allison beamed up at Anders, indescribably pleased with how things had turned out.

Anders looked down at her, flustered and bewildered.

"Are you sure you're not a mage? Because I don't think anything short of the strongest magic could ever make an apostate and a Templar shake hands!" he sputtered.

Allison grinned and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"I told you everything would be alright." she said happily.

Anders frowned slightly. "You _do_ know that he's serious about not giving up on you?"

Allison smacked him again. "Were you eavesdropping?"

Anders feigned a dignified expression. "It's _my_ eave so I can listen if I want to."

Allison snorted but then went on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"He can try all he wants to. I'm in love with a sexy apostate mage who has the cutest nose I've ever seen." Allison said and kissed his nose, trying not to laugh.

Anders just rolled his eyes and then made her squeal by throwing her over his shoulder and marching back to the bedroom.

"Cute nose?" he teased.

Allison did laugh as he carried her. "Yes, it's adorable."

He tossed her gently onto the bed. "You know what they say about mages with big noses."

"No I don't." she said still laughing.

"Sweetheart, I'll show you."


	32. Chapter 32 Side Effects

***This chapter is just for fun. I thought of this a while back and was just waiting for an appropriate time to put it in. It's also a shout out to Skyrim, which if you played it you probably will see.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 32 – Side Effects

Allison was sitting, studying her rune-crafting book when Anders stuck a cup under her nose.

"Here Love, I want you to try something." he said, handing it to her.

Allison sniffed at the beverage and was surprised that the smell was actually pleasant.

"What's this?" she asked suspiciously.

Anders smiled crookedly at her.

"Would I ever give you something you wouldn't like?" he teased.

Allison frowned at him. "Yes you would, and you _have_. So I repeat: what is this?"

Anders assumed an innocent expression. "Doesn't it smell nice?"

Allison's guard was immediately up.

"Why aren't you answering my question?" she said with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

Anders sighed. "Because I know how much you hate taking medicine and I wanted you to try this with an open mind."

Allison sniffed it again. "It does smell pretty good. What did you change?"

Anders' foul brew to help regulate her epilepsy always tasted like old socks mixed with burning tires and Allison hated it. He was very aware of it and so he had tried to add some ingredients that would improve the taste without affecting the effectiveness of the tea.

"Just try it and I'll tell you the difference." Anders insisted. 

Taking a deep breath, Allison wrinkled her nose and took a hesitant sip.

Anders watched her reaction and was pleased when her eyes showed pleased surprise.

She waited a moment and then took another, deeper sip.

"It's not bad. It's kind of fragrant and a little sweet." she commented.

Anders kissed her cheek happily. "I told you. The secret ingredient is Juniper Berries. They have an amazing ability to mask the more bitter tasting herbs."

Allison grinned at him. "Well done Healer."

Anders laughed and ruffled her hair.

"We're supposed to meet Varric and Isabela at The Hanged Man in an hour, but I need to meet a friend who might have some information on Ser Alrik." Anders said, his face hardening.

Allison rose and cupped his face, planting a kiss on his sullen lips.

"Don't worry so much. Cullen is working on finding him and I believe that we'll catch him." Allison soothed.

Anders caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"It's been two weeks already and Cullen doesn't seem to be any closer to finding the bastard than he was when all this started." Anders said angrily.

The Knight-Captain had been sending regular reports to Anders and Allison, using a messenger boy with no ties to the Circle to protect Anders' identity.

Whatever the Templar's feelings were for the apostate, he had kept his word.

Allison closed her hand over Anders'. "It's ok. Alrik has been running this racket for a long time and you can't expect to bring him down quickly."

Anders grumbled but changed the subject.

"Why don't I drop you off at the tavern and you can catch up with Isabela and Varric. I'll meet my contact and then come back?" he suggested.

Allison rolled her eyes. "I'm not a baby. You don't have to walk me to school like a fretting mother."

Anders just gave her a look and stared at her until she grumbled herself.

"Fine, fine!" she said peevishly and headed out the door without waiting for him.

Anders shook his head and followed after her.

Allison waved goodbye to him at the doorway to The Hanged Man and stepped inside.

It was early evening and there was already a crowd gathered. Most of the tables were taken but Allison saw that Varric and Isabela were already seated in the center of the room playing cards.

"Hi guys!" she called and saw her friend's faces light up. It made her feel warm inside to have such amazing people she could call friends.

"Hello Precious." Isabela said, rising and giving Allison a kiss on the cheek.

"Denim. It's nice to see you out and about." Varric said with a charming grin. "Did Blondie finally let you out of his sight?"

Allison sat down and folded her arms on the table. "No. He actually walked me here like I was a child. It's so embarrassing!"

Isabela tsked. "Don't be angry. That man loves you to the point of ridiculousness and he's never going to get over what that son of a bitch did to you."

"Well I don't like it." Allison said stubbornly. "I don't want him to worry all the time and to feel like he has to be around me constantly."

Varric shuffled the cards. "The fastest way to achieve that is to take Alrik down, and it will be a pleasure that I hope to engage in personally."

Allison patted Varric on the back. "I never got to apologize for you having to see all of that."

Varric stilled and then gave Allison a stupefied look. "What in the hell are you apologizing for?"

Allison fidgeted. "I don't mean that I'm apologizing like it was my fault. I'm just…sorry, because it made you so upset and now you want to kill someone. I hate that."

Isabela snorted. "Alrik won't be the first person we've killed and he won't be the last."

Allison felt a little ill at the pirate's calm determination. "Yes, but I've never been responsible for someone being killed." Before they could argue she quickly added, "Not that I'm actually responsible. I know, I know!"

One of the waitresses came by with a bottle of Kirkwall's version of vodka and Allison watched Varric and Isabela chug down a couple of shots.

She didn't know how the lining of their stomachs survived the drink which was a questionable murky brown color.

They dealt her in into the game and the three of them sat cheerily enjoying the noise of the crowd in the background.

Varric glanced up and saw sweat dotting Allison's brow.

"Feeling a bit warm?" he asked. "We can go upstairs where it's cooler." Varric offered.

Allison was trying to read the cards. They looked jumbled and made no sense.

She looked up to ask Isabela which suit was Wicked, when she was struck by a thought.

"You have really big boobs, you know that?" Allison said.

Varric spat the mouthful of alcohol he had just sipped across the table.

Isabela crooked an eyebrow. "Tell me something I don't know Darling."

"Anders has an amazing penis." Allison replied immediately.

It was Isabela who choked now, not because the speech itself was shocking, but because Allison would never say something like that.

Varric was gawking at her openly, his eyes wide.

Isabela took Allison's chin in her hand and turned her face towards her.

"Are you alright? You don't sound like _you_." Isabela asked, turning her face to and fro.

Allison grinned. "I'm very alright thank you. Why are you so surprised? You told me to tell you something you didn't know, so I did."

Isabela pursed her lips. "Indeed you did. What was I thinking? You always go around talking about Anders' impressive cock."

Allison reached over and pressed Isabela's nose several times. "That's the point: I don't go around talking about it. Aren't you glad I shared?"

Isabela lips twitched with laughter. "Don't get me wrong dear, I'm extremely glad. I'm just wondering what brought on this change?"

Isabela glanced at Varric who just shrugged.

Allison stretched. "I don't know what you mean."

She tugged on the laces that tied her collar. "Is it hot in here? It feels hot in here."

As she parted the fabric at her throat, the shirt fell open, exposing the top of her bra.

"Whew! That is so much better!" Allison exclaimed.

Varric reached over and felt Allison's forehead. "Um, are you sure you're alright kid? You seem…very uninhibited."

That was an understatement because several of the male patrons were now staring at Allison and their thoughts were written on their lecherous faces.

Varric took Bianca off his shoulder and aimed a hard look at one of the grinning idiots.

The man seemed to be deciding what was better: watching Allison or keeping his appendages uninjured.

Suddenly Allison hollered and sprang up, running over to the bard who was lounging against the counter manned by the bartender.

She grabbed the man's arm and whispered something in his ear and handed him some coins. The bard grinned and tapping a few of his fellows on the arm he instructed them to strike up the music.

They started an especially raucous melody complete with bawdy lyrics and Allison clapped.

Then she started dancing.

Isabela's mouth fell open. "Holy Maker! What is she doing?"

Varric was stuck between knowing he should get up and stop her and admiring her form and gusto.

"She's talented. You gotta say that." he said with a shrug.

They watched as Allison introduced Kirkwall to dances from her _very_ modern world.

There was a lot of ass-shaking and sexy hip shimmying.

The crowd started off being slightly confused by the movements but soon enough they were clapping and cheering.

Isabela couldn't stop from laughing and she joined in clapping with the crowd.

Allison felt better than she had in a long time. She didn't know why, but everything seemed a bit brighter, a bit louder and a bit happier.

She ran back over to the table and grabbed Isabela's arm, dragging her up.

"Come and dance with me!" she shouted.

Isabela watched her moves and shook her head.

"I'm afraid I don't that one Sweetie." The pirate said, regarding Allison with amusement.

"I'll show you." Allison said and looked around the room.

She saw a lone man swinging his ale back and forth in the air and wiggled up to him. He almost dropped his glass as she started a little bump and grind against him.

Isabela was considering grabbing her when Anders walked into the chaotic scene.

Allison spied him and squealed in delight as she ran across the room and jumped him. Anders caught her automatically, holding her as her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Anders!" she cried happily.

"What in the Maker's name…?" he began.

She planted a searing kiss on his mouth, effectively shutting him up.

Anders felt the impact of that kiss all the way down to his toes and it took a few slow minutes before he realized that the crowd was cheering them on.

He pulled back and saw Allison grinning cheekily at him.

"I missed you." she said, completely disarming him.

"I can tell." Anders said, and since she seemed disinclined to extricate herself from him, he carried her over to the table, and placed her back in her chair.

Allison pouted. "Don't you want me to sit with you?"

Anders blinked and cocked his head. "Are you alright Love?"

She smiled again and promptly crawled into his lap and straddled him. She snuggled against his neck and sighed.

Anders looked at Isabela and Varric who were obviously enjoying this turn of events.

Anders saw the bottle on the table and glared at them.

"Did you let her drink?" he asked accusingly.

Isabela glared back. "Don't look at us. She didn't touch a drop. Apparently Allison's been holding out on us."

Varric just watched her. "I can't explain it Blondie. Allison was playing cards and then all of a sudden she decided to grace everyone with a dance. It was quite good actually."

"I'll bet." Anders grumbled.

He turned Allison's face and smelled her breath. No alcohol.

"Allison?"

"Hmmm?" she murmured as she walked her fingers over his chest.

"Did you drink anything?" Anders asked.

"Nope. Although I could drink _you_ up right now." she purred.

Anders felt her head. No fever. He checked her pupils and they seemed fine.

Allison was currently loosening his own shirt and playing with the hair on his chest.

"You don't have a lot of chest hair." she stated.

Anders had no idea what she talking about but her hand was distracting him.

"What?" he asked.

Suddenly Allison grabbed his robe and jerked him forward, her eyes widening.

"I know what I want to do!" She turned to Varric her eyes dancing with excitement. "I want to count _your_ chest hairs!" she cried, pointing at Varric.

Varric eyed Anders as he replied casually. "Of course you do. Who could resist?"

Allison folded her hands in supplication. "Please? I've always wanted to."

"Uh…" Varric wasn't sure whether to laugh or run.

Isabela was watching Allison with a glint in her eye.

"Allison?" the pirate began.

"Yessss." the girl replied with a giggle.

"Does Anders wear smallclothes under his robes?" Isabela asked.

"What!" Anders sputtered.

"Be quiet, I'm talking to Allison." Isabela reprimanded. "Well?"

Allison giggled again. "Not always."

Isabela snapped her fingers. "I knew it!"

Anders leveled a murderous look at the woman. "What the hell did you ask that for?"

Isabela smiled sweetly. "I'm testing a theory. Now, Allison, when your oyster needs a good shucking, what's your favorite position?"

Allison answer was lightening quick. "Against the wall, no question."

"WHAT!" Anders gaped at the woman on his lap. "Don't answer her! And you." He said pointed at Isabela. "There's obviously something wrong with her so stop taking advantage."

Allison chose that moment to snake her hand down into his trousers and Anders yelped, grabbing her wrist.

She was nibbling on his chin.

"You want me. I know you do." she breathed against his skin. "Let's do it right here on the table."

Her hand tried to return to his breeches and Anders hopped up, scooping her up into his arms.

"That's it! I'm taking you home." he announced.

Allison clapped. "Are we going to do it against the wall?"

"Maker help me…" Anders groaned. "I don't know how, but you're intoxicated."

Allison's face became mulish. "I didn't drink anything except for your Juniper tea! Now let me down so I can dance!"

Realization hit Anders like a boulder.

For some reason, Allison was apparently sensitive to the Juniper Berries. He had never seen them have that kind of effect on anyone else but perhaps her other-worldy makeup made her unique. Again.

"Of course. Why didn't I see it sooner?" he said.

Varric looked expectant. "I assume you've discovered the reason for our girl's sudden passion for honesty and exhibition?"

Anders shook his head while Allison kissed his throat. He tried evading her but it was difficult. She was very determined.

"I made a new blend of tea and it had some…unexpected side effects." he admitted. "I have to get her home so she can sleep this off."

Anders maneuvered around the crowd, many of whom called out goodbyes to Allison and requested that she come back and dance for them again.

Isabela lifted her glass to Varric.

"Maybe I should start drinking tea." she said.

"Rivaini, the world is not ready for you to be any _less _inhibited." Varric replied with a wink.


	33. Chapter 33 Hangover

***Just a note that Allison has already met Lirene, I just didn't write about it because it wasn't necessary. The assumption is that not every second of Allison's life is being recorded.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 33 – Hangover

Allison thought she heard the sounds of road construction echoing in her head but when her eyes opened to slits, she saw that she was still in Kirkwall. The noise was the sound of a massive headache dancing merrily around her skull.

She groaned and even that sound hurt.

"You're awake." Anders said, kneeling next to the bed.

He felt terrible about what had happened. Of course he couldn't have known that Allison's body would react so badly to the Juniper Berries, but still, she wouldn't be in pain if he had left well enough alone.

"What happened?" Allison asked in a raspy voice that made her wince.

Ander ran his hands softly over her hair.

"It's my fault. The berries I added to your tea made you intoxicated." he explained. "But I have something to fix that."

Anders held a cup to her mouth and Allison sipped it carefully.

"Ugh, what is that?" she said, her face registering disgust.

Anders looked sheepish. "I don't think you want to know. But try to drink it; it should take care of any nausea and headache."

If it meant getting rid of the pulsing pain behind her eyes she would drink anything, Allison thought.

She took the cup from Anders and chugged it all down in one gulp.

"Yuck!" She stuck out her tongue.

Anders looked at the empty cup and tried not to laugh. "Well, you didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did. There's a mariachi band dancing in my head right now." Allison said, throwing her arm over her eyes to block out the morning light.

"I don't know what a mariachi band is but I'm sure the feeling is unpleasant." Anders soothed. "Give it a few minutes and you should feel better."

Allison heard Anders walk out of the room so she kept her eyes closed and tried to remember what had happened the night before. 

She remembered going to The Hanged Man and seeing Isabela and Varric. They had started playing Wicked Grace and then…

Brief flashes appeared in her mind: laughing, Isabela's chest, and…dancing?

There was no way she danced! Was there?

Allison groaned again this time in embarrassment.

Anders heard the sound of distress and came back.

"What's wrong? Is it not working? I could try something else." he said anxiously.

Allison waved her hand and sat up gingerly. Anders put a hand on her back to help her sit up.

"No, I feel little better. I just had this terrible notion that I might have done something stupid last night." she said, looking up at him for confirmation.

Anders' lips were twitching which did not bode well for her.

"Do you mean before or after you tried have sex with me on the table in front of everyone?" he said, barely maintain a straight face.

"Oh my god!" Allison shrieked and threw herself back down on the bed, covering her face with a pillow.

Anders did laugh then. He plucked the pillow away, and kissed her.

"Don't feel bad. I heroically managed to fend you off, and I'm told that everyone enjoyed your…exotic dancing." he teased.

Allison opened one eye to glare at him. "You know "exotic dancing" has a very different meaning where I come from." She sat up again suddenly, almost hitting Anders in the face.

"Wait! I didn't take of my clothes did I?" she asked in horror.

"No, you didn't although I'm sure the crowd would have loved it and Isabela would have never let you live it down." Anders said with a cheeky grin.

"I hate you." Allison mumbled.

Anders kissed her sulky mouth. "No you don't. Now get up. I've drawn a bath for you and it's nice and hot."

The idea of a bath greatly brightened Allison's mood and she hopped up with a little more energy.

She tugged her sleeping shirt over her head and was about to wiggle out of her underwear when she found herself suddenly shy.

Allison looked over her shoulder and found Anders enjoying the show.

His golden eyes were warm and a sensual smile played along lips.

Allison pointed at the door. "Get out."

Anders' mouth fell open. "What? Why?"

"I'm not doing a peep show here, pervert, so go away." Allison ordered while devilish merriment sparkled in her eyes.

The pouting look on Anders' face was hilarious but she didn't laugh until he was gone.

Allison sank into the tub and once again sent out a silent thank you to Isabela.

The rune stones she had crafted specifically to keep the water hot worked perfectly and Allison laid her head back and drifted.

_She was back in the park where she had disappeared. Back in Seattle. The trees were eerily quiet and she couldn't hear the sounds of traffic or the chirping of birds._

_It felt like the whole world was vacant. Like she was the only person on the whole planet._

_Someone called to her and Allison turned around to find her parents standing there. They were holding hands as she remembered them doing often when she was little._

"_Mom? Dad?" she called in confusion._

_Her mother spoke._

"_Allison, why did you leave us?"_

"_Mom? I don't understand." Allison replied. _

_She wanted to step closer but her feet were rooted to the spot._

_Her father looked at her sadly._

"_How can you turn your back on us?" he asked accusingly._

"_But…but, I'm not. Dad what are you talking about?" Allison tried to reach for him._

_Her mother pointed a finger at her. "You're not even trying to come back!" she snapped._

"_I can't. I can't come back." Allison pleaded for them to understand. "I can't find my way."_

_Her father looked down at the dry ground. "You don't want to anymore. You've chosen them over us."_

_Allison felt anger rising. "You're dead! You left me remember! There's nothing to come back to."_

_Her parents shook their heads._

"_We're very disappointed in you."_

_Their voices faded away and they turned to ash._

Allison gasped and sat up in the tub, sloshing water over the rim.

Anders ran inside. "Are you alright?"

Even though she knew the water was still hot, Allison felt cold all over.

"You're shaking." Anders said and put a hand in the water to test the temperature. "The water is fine."

He took her hand and it felt normal as well.

"I'm fine." Allison lied.

She stood up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself and stepped out of the tub.

Mechanically she emptied the water out and dried the floor where the water had splashed.

When she straightened Anders took a firm hold of her shoulders.

"You look like you've seen a shade. What happened?" he asked, searching her face.

"Nothing. I just fell asleep and had a bad dream." Allison said evasively.

She tried to step around him but Anders wasn't having it.

"Why won't you tell me what you saw?" he pressed. "You've been here for every dream of darkspawn I've had but you won't share your nightmares? Was it about Alrik?"

Allison shook her head. "No, it wasn't about him." She sighed. "It was about my parents."

Anders frowned. "Your parents? What about them?"

Allison looked away. "They said they were disappointed in me because I choose to stay here instead of trying to go home."

Anders felt his stomach jitter nervously. "Do you _want_ to go back?" he asked quietly.

Allison shrugged. "I can't. Orsino pretty much nipped that in the bud a while back."

Anders was disturbed that her answer didn't include their relationship. He took his hands off her shoulders and stepped back.

"You said something about that when we got you away from Alrik. I meant to ask about it. What did Orsino say to you?"

Allison walked over to the bed and sat down.

"He said that in his experience, the stories he's heard, openings through the Veil only occur once every hundred years or so. He said there was no way back."

Anders sat down next to her. His head was crowded with thoughts of Allison leaving him. He thought that she was happy here, with him. Maybe he had been deluding himself, believing that she would remain that way.

He kept his thoughts to himself.

"Well, perhaps Orsino is wrong. He doesn't know everything does he?" Anders said, attempting to sound light but his bitterness crept through a little.

Allison glanced over at him, picking up on his tone. "Are _you_ ok?"

Anders stood up and gave her a falsely bright smile. "Yes, of course. I, uh, I have an errand to run. I'll see you later tonight."

Allison called after him but he hurried out, the front door shutting behind him.

Allison sat on the bed, knowing that she had upset Anders but not sure how.

She got dressed but found herself at loose ends, not knowing what to do with her time.

If she were back at home she would cook something to take her mind off of unpleasant thoughts.

Allison snapped her fingers. Of course! She had been meaning to talk to Lirene about borrowing her oven. Now was as good a time as any.

Allison grabbed some flour and put it in her backpack. She locked the clinic up after her and headed out through the streets of Darktown.

Anders would kill her if he knew she was out alone but Allison was tired of being babysat.

If her planned worked she would have warm cookies to placate him when he got home.

Allison stopped by a few merchants in Lowtown to get what she needed.

Kirkwall had a few ingredients that mimicked closely the items she would have used in Seattle.

They had a grain that was like oatmeal so that's what she called it. And Anders, bless him, had found chocolate so that was fantastic.

She bought some oil and some eggs and then lugged everything over to Lirene's.

The woman was very busy as usual, asking the people in line to be patient as she tried to organize groups into those who needed the most help.

When Lirene spotted Allison with her bags she waved her over.

"And good morning to you Allison. What in the world are you dragging behind you?" Lirene asked.

Allison huffed a bit as she laid her bags down.

"I was hoping that I could use your oven Lirene." Allison said looking over the crowd. "I bet people would really love some cookies."

Allison flashed a hopeful smile and Lirene sighed, gesturing for her to go in the back where the kitchen was.

"Maker knows what good cookies will do for refugees but if you want to waste your time go ahead." Lirene acquiesced.

Allison smiled and took her packages in the back. Lirene was always a bit grouchy but how could she not be when she saw so much suffering day in and day out?

Allison gathered bowls and spoons and pans and started making dough for two different cookies: oatmeal (sort of) and chocolate chunk, since she had to shop up the blocks of chocolate into manageable pieces. She also had some nuts to throw in and she got down to baking.

After about half an hour Lirene came in, hands on her hips.

"Whatever it is you're doing, you'd better get to serving out here. People can smell it and they're starting to get hungry."

Allison grabbed a large platter and began stacking cookies on it. She hurried out to main room and was swarmed by all the refugees clamoring for a taste.

"Wait, wait!" she called out. "Please go back to the line and I'll walk over and hand out cookies. That way everyone gets some."

The crowd went dutifully back to standing in line and Allison held out the platter as she walked down the line allowing each person to take two cookies.

There were several children with grubby faces and Allison snuck them extra cookies. Seeing their little faces scrunch up, first because they hadn't had any cookies before and then seeing the happiness dawn as the first taste settled over their tongues was absolutely worth it.

The room was quiet while everyone chewed. Smiles broke out over the crowd and Allison was glad that she had broken Anders' rule and come down.

Lirene nodded at her as she returned to the kitchen and Allison put aside a few extra cookies for the harried woman.

Allison had not forgotten about Sandal so she made a dozen cookies for the dwarf and his father and another dozen for her and Anders. She only had a little dough left so she decided to make two giant cookies for Varric and Isabela as well.

After cleaning up the kitchen Allison wrapped them up and put them in her backpack.

"Thank you Lirene. I left you a little gift in the back." Allison called as she walked towards the door. She waved at the children who now had splotches of chocolate to go with the splotches of dirt on their faces.

Varric asked if Allison was saying something about his size when she handed him his rather large cookie. Isabela said that she'd have to march up and down the coast to avoid getting fat after eating hers.

Allison left them at The Hanged Man and made the journey to Sandal and Bodhan's house.

Bodhan opened the door and Allison realized how much she had missed them.

"Hello Miss Allison! Aren't you a sight for these eyes?" Bodhan exclaimed, giving her a warm hug.

"Hi Bodhan, it's really good to see you." Allison returned the hug and stepped inside when Bodhan beckoned her in.

Sandal came running out of his room at the sound of Allison's voice and she grinned.

Allison knelt and gave the boy a hug. "How are you Sandal?"

Strangely, Sandal leaned back and stared into Allison's face hard. His mouth turned down sadly.

"Ow. Sad." He said pointing at her.

Bodhan patted his son's back. "Yes she did my boy."

"What? What does he mean?" Allison asked looking at the two dwarves.

"We heard what happened to you, what Alrik did." Bodhan said, his eyes downcast. "I could whip Umbar within an inch of his life! But I hear that he's been banished from Kirkwall by the Knight-Captain of the Templars."

"He was?" Allison said, aghast. "I hadn't heard that. Besides, it's not your fault Bodhan. How could you know that he was a little weasel?"

Bodhan sighed and Allison reached out. "Please don't blame yourself. I don't blame you at all. The fault lies with Alrik, ok?"

"As you say Miss." Bodhan said.

Sandal was sniffing the air and Allison grinned.

"You've got a good nose Sandal. I finally kept my word." Allison reached into her pack and brought out the cookies.

Sandal grabbed the package and ripped the wrapping off.

Bodhan snagged the cookies before they could be devoured.

"Hold on there young man. You may have one cookie for now and that's all." Bodhan said firmly.

Sandal actually tried blinking innocently up at his father but the older dwarf was unmoved.

"One cookie Sandal." he repeated.

Sandal made a big deal of choosing what type of cookie he was going to try and settled on the oatmeal.

His smile was as bright as the sun and Allison kissed his cheek.

She visited for a while and when the afternoon light poured into the room she got going.

"I'll see you soon." she promised.

Allison wanted to get home before Anders so she could make dinner.

She knew that she had hurt him somehow that morning but she wasn't sure what she had said that had wounded him.

Whatever it was, they would talk it out over a good meal.

_**Anders…**_

After visiting several patients at their homes, Anders met with his contact at the Gallows who told him that there had been sightings of Ser Alrik out in the Wounded Coast but he was eluding capture by the Templars.

Anders went to the beach that he had taken Allison to and stood looking out at the sea for a long while, many thoughts tangling and twisting in his head.

Ser Alrik needed to be dealt with soon or he and Allison would never have any rest. No mage was safe while that man was free.

Thinking of Allison made him frown unhappily. She had seemed content but dreams often expressed hidden desires and feelings.

It was possible that, deep down in her heart, Allison still longed to return to her world.

Even if Orsino was right and she could not return there, how was Anders supposed to be at peace knowing that she was secretly unhappy?

Anders pinched the bridge of his nose before rising to his feet to start back home.

It was just beginning to get dark and Anders kept his senses on alert for any trouble as he navigated the many twists and turns of the underground.

Finally he came to a hatch that opened into Darktown and hoisted himself up and out onto the shadowed streets.

His staff was on his back but he kept his hands ready just in case.

A strange skittering across his mind has Anders stopping short.

He glanced around, peering into the dark recesses of the pathways but he saw nothing.

Anders' ears strained to catch any sign that he was not alone but again, there was nothing.

Anders began walking again, cautiously, and again he felt a strange sensation along the base of his skull.

The fine hairs on the back of his neck rose and Anders sucked in a slow breath.

It was a type of awareness that only mages had around other mages.

Anders stood still and reached out into the night with his magic, feeling around with ephemeral fingers.

He had just enough time to catch a fragment of magic in the air before he was struck from behind.

Anders fell to the ground, the sharp gravel dug into his palms as he braced himself on his hands.

There was a low _woosh_ and Anders felt something strike him in the side and he sprawled onto his back.

He blinked, trying to clear his vision and silence the ringing in his ears.

Justice tried frantically to identify their attacker with his abilities from the Fade but he too was jostled and out-of-sorts from the first blow.

Anders got to his hands and knees again. He heard the soft sound of clothing and turned his head quickly to find the danger.

The telltale trim of a mage's robe passed by his face but he didn't have the opportunity to see his attacker's face.

He felt a sharp prick in his side and everything went dark.


	34. Chapter 34 A Strike From The Dark

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 34 – A Strike From The Dark

Allison wiped her hands on a towel and sat down in the kitchen area twiddling her thumbs.

_Where was Anders?_

She knew that he had left upset and she hadn't been able to figure out why yet but she wanted the chance to talk it out at least.

Had Anders been so upset that he wasn't coming home for the night?

He had never done that before.

Allison felt restless and stood up, pacing back and forth and around the cots.

Something wasn't right but she had no idea where Anders had gone for the day.

"Damn it!" Allison swore quietly to no one. "Where are you?"

_**Anders…**_

The cold ground was the first thing to penetrate Anders' unconscious mind.

His eyes opened slowly and the world tilted sharply causing him to squeeze his eyes shut and take deep breaths.

Anders forced himself to be calm before he tried opening his eyes again.

The view wasn't much better so he pushed himself upright and sought out his surroundings with wavering vision.

The smell was obviously Darktown and he recognized the juncture he was at as being only a few yards away from where he was attacked.

His body was sore where he had been struck and he automatically sent a wave of healing magic out throughout his body to repair whatever damage had been done.

There had been no broken bones thankfully, just a mild concussion and bruising of the bones.

Anders stood shakily and the ground seemed to erupt beneath him.

He staggered, falling against a crumbling wall and shook his head.

_What was wrong with him?_

Anders sought out any injuries he may have missed but there was nothing.

He swallowed as a wave of nausea came over him and felt beads of sweat break out on his face.

He pushed away from the wall and managed to take a few steps before collapsing again.

His muscles weren't cooperating with him very well. He tried to stand and braced his hands on his knees as he bent over trying to clear the ringing from his ears.

The sounds of night around him were warped and menacing. It seemed that he could hear screams of pain and laughter following quickly after.

But he was alone out in the night.

He took a few slow steps and wobbled and the screams reverberated in his mind.

Anders clapped his hands over his ears to block the cacophony of noise.

In his desperation he called for his friend, for Justice.

Justice could not help him. The sprit was being hounded by phantoms of his own.

Anders lifted his head and the walls of Darktown seemed to bleed around him. The pathways melted and a dark void yawned at his feet.

He cried out and started running, no longer caring how much he tripped and fell.

He had to get home.

Heat seemed to beat along his skin and his breath wheezed in and out.

He hit the ground again and lay there fighting against the insanity that clawed at his mind.

The small part of him that retained some semblance of awareness recalled the attack. There was a crucial piece of information in the scene replaying in his head.

_What had he seen?_

Anders watched the attack desperately, looking for any clue.

_Mage's robes! The sharp prick he had felt before he'd lost consciousness._

Had he been poisoned?

Anders gained his feet again.

The only way he could help himself was to get back to the clinic. It wasn't far, in fact, he could see the lanterns glowing in the distance. He just had to get there!

Blackness swamped his vision and he fell once more.

He could no longer walk so he crawled.

On his hands and knees he pulled himself towards home, every inch a struggle, his head spinning and his stomach rebelling.

Anders managed to get up the steps but by then he was on his stomach, pushing himself forward with the toes of his boots and grasping at the ground with his fingertips.

The door was so close but he didn't have the strength to reach for the knob. He couldn't even rally enough energy to knock.

Anders felt the cold come over him again as he rested his cheek on the ground. His hand was stretched towards the door that was just out of reach.

Allison was surprised that there was any floor left where she had been walking back and forth.

She didn't believe that Anders would just stay away if he was upset. It wasn't his style. Even if he was angry with her, he wouldn't leave the clinic, not knowing if there were patients who needed him.

Okay. So that meant that something was wrong.

Allison chewed her lip trying to decide what to do.

Maybe she should go to The Hanged Man and round up Isabela and Varric to help her find him.

The problem was that it was very late and it wasn't the smartest idea for a woman to go traipsing around Darktown in the dead of night.

But, Allison couldn't quiet the yelling in her gut that told her Anders was in trouble.

She ran her fingers through her hair and contemplated her options.

A small, thin sound came from outside the clinic door.

Allison froze, her ears straining to catch it.

Was it her imagination?

No, there it was again.

Allison walked over to the door and put her ear against it.

"_Help."_

It could be a trap but it could also be someone in trouble.

Anders may not have been there but Allison would be damned if she left some poor soul outside to die.

She pulled the door open and felt the blood drain out of her head.

"Anders!" she cried and fell to the ground beside him.

"Help me." he said, his voice weak and so soft she could barely hear him.

Allison grabbed him under his arms and began pulling him inside.

He was dead weight and she almost fell over several times, but the sight of him, pale and limp was all she needed to galvanize her strength.

"I've got you. You're ok." she repeated over and over.

Once Allison had him fully inside she hopped up and slammed the door, locking it and ran back to Anders.

Allison managed to get Anders onto his back and she lifted his head onto her lap.

"What happened?" she asked frantically. "Anders! What happened? Talk to me!"

He didn't respond and Allison began lightly tapping his face to try and rouse him.

His skin was hot to the touch and his color was bad.

"Anders!" she shouted and her voice broke. "Please wake up!"

His eyelids fluttered opened and Allison could see that his pupils looked odd.

"Allison?" he called, his voice rasping and weak. "I…saw a mage."

"What? What does that mean? Did a mage do this?" Allison asked, trying to keep him conscious.

Anders' eyes kept closing and his head was beginning to fall listlessly to the side.

"Oh my god. Anders!" Allison shook him. "Anders, you have to tell me what happened so I can help you!"

Anders shuddered but his eyes opened again, though they were glazed now.

"Poison." was all he said before he went limp and his head fell back.

"Anders? Anders?" Allison tried shaking him again but there was no response.

She felt a hysterical sob rising in her chest but she beat it down. It wouldn't help him for her to lose it now.

Allison bent over Anders' chest and listened. His heart was still beating and she could feel the rise and fall of his breathing even though it was shallow.

"What do I do?" Allison asked out loud but there was no one there to help her.

She sat on the floor with Anders' head resting on her lap and felt her world starting to fall apart.

_**Elsewhere…**_

"Ser Alrik. The mage has returned and his mission was a success." the Templar reported.

Alrik put down the papers he was studying and glanced over at the mage in question.

It stood there like a life-size puppet, waiting for orders from its master. It had no name. Alrik hadn't cared who it was before. What mattered now was that it did as it was told.

His men had been confused when Alrik had first introduced them to his servants. After all, the goal of true Templars is to rid the world of the infestation of mages and of magic.

However, Alrik had seen an opportunity to use the mage's curses for his own purposes. And so he had researched the old Tevinter writings until he had discovered the design for a collar. A collar that would allow him to subjugate any mage and bend them to his will.

He was therefore able to use their magic against their own kind.

Mages always trusted each other, so it was easy for him to send one of his servants to do his bidding.

They could get close to their brethren and by the time anyone realized that something was wrong, it was too late.

Alrik had been able to round up many mages for his inquisitions by using this method.

The most skilled mages were gifted with a collar and kept in his stables, as he liked to call it.

Even though the warehouse was no longer able to be used for meetings, Alrik had a cave in the Wounded Coast that was suitable for use.

And now, the golden boy, Knight-Captain Cullen was hunting him. The very thought made Alrik laugh.

Cullen was just a boy and naïve as well. Alrik had outsmarted the Knight-Captain's men as they searched for him in vain.

And now, his pet had removed the thorn in Alrik's side.

He would have much preferred to kill the healer himself but Alrik hadn't been sure how to counter the magic the mage had used at the warehouse.

So, he had been forced to allow his servant to fulfill his will.

Alrik comforted himself in the knowledge that the poison would kill the mage slowly and painfully.

It gave him some solace.


	35. Chapter 35 Collaboration

***I want to thank everyone for continuing to review this story. It means so much to me and I just wanted say thank you. **

**I meant to make this all one chapter but it's getting long so I decided to break it up here and write the rest in the next chapter. Also apologies for any errors in this. I've been writing this chapter ever since the last update and I've been medicated through parts of it lol.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 35 - Collaboration

Allison sat on the cold floor; Anders' head pillowed in her lap and tried to push the choking anxiety that threatened to consume her out of her mind.

She couldn't just sit there and cry. That wouldn't help Anders.

He was too heavy for her to pull to the bedroom and lift into the bed. She needed help. But how could she leave him like this?

"Justice? Can you hear me?" she called. There was no answer.

Anders was breathing but it sounded shallow. He needed help immediately.

Allison carefully shifted him so she could get up. She went to a cot and grabbed a pillow and placed it under Anders' head on the floor.

It was the best she could do for him until she got help.

Allison knelt next to him and kissed his clammy forehead.

"I'll be right back. I promise." she whispered, pushing his hair back.

Allison pushed to her feet and grabbing a few sovereigns, she went out into the dangerous night of Darktown.

She debated her choices.

Anders had been poisoned, seemingly by a mage. She had no idea how long the poison would be in his system or what is was designed to do.

He could be dying at that very moment. She couldn't afford to leave him alone for long.

Allison stood at a crossway. She looked left, where the refugees who were able to find housing lived, and right, which would take her up to Lowtown.

The journey to The Hanged Man might cost precious minutes when Anders could need her.

Wait!

She remembered that one of the men Anders had healed after an incident at the foundry lived in the refugee housing.

What was his name?

Jevan!

Allison knew where he lived because she had been with Anders when he'd visited the man.

Allison found the small hovel and knocked on the heavy door.

She was shivering, not with cold but with fear; fear for Anders.

What if he'd awoken and was calling for her right now?

The door cracked open and Allison saw Jevan blink in surprise as he recognized her. His family stood behind him, staring out cautiously at the intrusion at such a late hour.

"Miss? What are you doing out alone at this time of night? It's not safe." he scolded.

Allison wasted no time. She dug into her pockets and held out all the coins she had taken with her.

"Jevan, I need your help. Anders is in trouble. He's been poisoned and I can't leave him but I need you to get help."

She pushed the coins at him. "Here. Take this as payment. I need you to go to The Hanged Man and get a dwarf named Varric or a pirate named Isabela. Please!"

Jevan's eyes widened, not at the gold she held but at her statement that Anders had been hurt.

"Someone poisoned the Healer?" he said, his voice was soft with shock.

Jevan pushed the coins back at her. "I'll go right away Miss."

He grabbed a rough woolen jacket, kissed his wife goodbye and stepped outside.

"You go on back now and I'll bring your friends." Jevan promised.

Allison's eyes watered at his kindness but she held tight.

"Thank you Jevan. Please hurry." she urged.

He nodded and took off at an improbable speed for so large a man.

A low voice called from the doorway and Allison turned back around to see Jevan's wife.

"Miss, we'll be praying for the Healer." the woman said kindly.

"Thank you." Allison replied and ran back to the clinic.

She locked the door and ran back to Anders' side.

He was still unconscious.

There was one thing Allison could do.

She went over to Anders' shelves of medicines and herbs and picked up a bottle of his healing potions.

She had seen him use these many times when people came in with a variety of ailments. It seemed to have some king of general healing capabilities, kind of like a magical version of acetaminophen or Ibuprofen.

Allison held Anders' head, tilting his chin up and carefully poured some the liquid down his throat.

He choked a bit and coughed and Allison whispered apologies that he could not hear.

She sat waiting, watching Anders' face expectantly, hoping that the potion would work and he'd miraculously open his eyes.

There was no change, and Allison hung her head, feeling the tears sting her eyes.

It seemed like hours before there was a thunderous knocking on the door.

Allison hurried to open it and thanked God that Varric and Isabela had been around and not off on some clandestine job.

"What the hell happened?" Varric demanded, storming into the clinic.

The dwarf paled when he saw Anders lying on the floor.

"Oh, Blondie…what the hell have you gotten yourself into now?"

Isabela put a comforting hand on Allison's shoulder.

"How did this happen?" the pirate asked, her concern for the mage evident on her face.

Allison clasped and unclasped her fingers together as Varric listened to Anders' chest.

"I don't know. He left earlier today on some errands and then it got really late and he wasn't home yet. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know where he'd gone. Then I heard someone crying for help outside and there he was, on the ground."

Allison sat beside Anders again.

"He said something about seeing a mage and then he said that he'd been poisoned. He lost consciousness after that."

Isabela spied the bottle of medicine. "You tried that?"

Allison nodded. "Yes, but nothing happened."

Varric was busy turning Anders' head back and forth, looking at his neck and then his shoulders before lifting the hem of Anders' shirt.

Allison watched the dwarf. "What are doing Varric? What are you looking for?"

Varric said nothing for a moment and then sighed.

"This." he said, pointing to a spot on Anders' side.

Allison and Isabela leaned forward and they could see a faint red mark on Anders' side.

It reminded Allison of the mark a hypodermic needle left behind.

"So, he _was _poisoned." Allison said. "What do we do?"

Varric stood up and brushed the dust off his knees.

"First, we get him to bed."

Allison could have kicked herself. She was so stressed that she had forgotten the basic first step.

"Of course." and she stood up as well.

The three of them lifted Anders and got him to the bedroom.

Isabela and Varric held him upright while Allison took off his shirt, his pants and his boots.

Isabela's lack of crude jokes about Anders' near-nakedness was a testament to how serious the situation was.

After Anders was tucked in, the three friends stood around his bed trying to decide on the next step.

Varric stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"You said that he saw a mage?"

"Yes." Allison confirmed. "Why? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that we go to the source." Varric replied.

Isabela raised an eyebrow at that suggestion.

"You want to go to the Gallows? What for?" Isabela asked.

"If a mage poisoned our boy here, then a mage can fix him." Varric answered. "It may be that they used some poison commonly used by mages. If they did, then they should have an antidote."

Allison grabbed Varric's arm.

"Wait! You can't just go there and tell the Circle that you have a friend who's a mage and he's been poisoned. They'll just come and take Anders away."

Isabela spoke up. "Then we don't go to the mages. We go to the Templars; _your_ Templar to be exact."

"Cullen?" Allison replied, not at all sure of the wisdom of this plan.

But Varric liked it.

"Good thinking Rivaini. Cullen knows what's in the mage's arsenal. He may even know about this poison personally. We'll go to him and get his help."

Allison hesitated but then she watched the man she loved struggling to breathe. There was no question that she would take any help she could get to save him.

"Ok Varric. You're right, but how will you get to him inside the Gallows?" Allison questioned.

Varric patted her arm. "You leave that to us kiddo. Keep our boy safe and we'll be back faster than a nug digs up a truffle."

Allison felt a small smile tug on her face despite her fear.

"Thank you Varric."

He nodded and Isabela gave her hand a squeeze before they slipped out.

Allison walked over to the bed and felt Anders' forehead again. It was warm so she took a clean cloth and wet it in the bowl.

She pulled up a chair and sat, placing the cool cloth on his skin.

Anders shivered but he didn't wake up.

Allison sat, holding his hand on one of hers while running the damp cloth over his skin with the other.

And she waited. And prayed.

_**At the Gallows…**_

"I assume you have a plan on rousing the Knight-Captain from his bed without alerting every Templar that we have ailing apostate on our hands?" Isabela asked Varric as they wound their way through the courtyard.

Torches and lanterns lit the area and the moon was high, providing plenty of light.

Varric marched forward, completely at ease. "Don't worry Rivaini. I've got this."

They came to the metal gate that closed off the Gallows from the courtyard.

Two Templar guards stood at alert behind it.

"Good evening gentlemen." Varric greeted sociably. "How appalling that you find yourselves out here instead of warm in your beds."

The Templars did not look amused.

"What do you want dwarf?" one of them asked in a harsh tone.

"I'm here on business for the Knight-Captain." Varric announced.

Isabela tried valiantly not to roll her eyes. Apparently Varric was going to use the direct approach.

The Templar sneered.

"And what business would the Knight-Captain have with you at this time of night?" the guard asked.

Varric ran a finger down Isabela's arm. "What do you think?"

Isabela managed not to snort and instead she turned sultry eyes to the now gawking Templar.

She licked her lips seductively and blew a kiss to both of the guards.

The two Templars looked at each other, clearly having a difficult time believing their eyes or their ears.

"The…Knight-Captain asked for a whore?" one them asked, confusion plain on their faces.

Isabela drew herself up proudly. "Whores are for little boys who can't get it up for a real woman. I'm a…specialist."

The youngest Templar matched her stance. "Oh? And what's so special about what you do?"

Isabela grinned like a cat. "If I told you, your manhood would shrivel up in fear."

The guard looked aghast and glanced at his companion.

Varric knew they didn't have time to waste.

"Just go get our illustrious Knight-Captain. Tell him that Varric is here with Allison."

Isabela didn't blink at the lie. It was extremely likely that Cullen would come out if he thought Allison was there.

One of the guards gave them a long look but did as he was told.

Varric and Isabela waited, hoping that Cullen would be predictable.

After about five minutes, they heard the sound of heavy footsteps and armor.

Cullen had been sleeping when one of his men knocked on his door and told him that a strange dwarf named Varric had come with a "friend" of Cullen's.

When the Templar heard Allison's name he'd hurried to dress, knowing that something had to be wrong for her to have come to the Gallows in the dead of night.

He was even more confused when he saw that it was not Allison that stood outside the gate, but her friend Isabela the pirate.

Cullen watched their faces as he approached the gate and their eyes had a warning in them.

Cullen stepped forward, not opening the gate yet.

"Hello my friends." he greeted. "I was not expecting to see you so soon."

Varric smiled warmly, not dropping the facade.

"Allison couldn't wait to see you. In fact, she urged me to get you two together as soon as possible."

Isabela winked at Cullen. "Yes, I couldn't wait any longer to repeat our performance."

Cullen looked startled and glanced at his men before rolling his eyes.

"Yes, of course. Please come in." and he gave the signal for his men to open the gate.

Cullen threw a hard look at the guards that was sure to keep them quiet and bade Varric and Isabela to follow him.

Since they were obviously here secretly, Cullen took them to his quarters instead of his office.

He ushered them inside and locked the door.

"What's wrong? Why are you here?" Cullen demanded.

Varric was more than happy to dispense with the pleasantries.

"We need your help. Anders has been poisoned and it looks like a mage is responsible."

That wasn't what Cullen expected to hear.

"A mage? How do you know?"

"Anders said so before he lost consciousness." Varric explained.

Cullen folded his arms over his chest.

"While that is regrettable, I fail to understand why you have come to me."

Isabela marched up to the Templar and shoved him, hard.

"Don't pull that prejudiced garbage with me! I don't care if Anders is a mage. When someone under your watch pulls a stunt like this, it's _your_ ass that I'll flay alive!" she promised.

Varric tried another tactic.

"Look Cullen, Allison needs your help. She's back at the clinic and she's watching Anders die. We need to find out what kind of poison the mage used and we need to find an antidote."

Cullen knew that the dwarf was using his affection for Allison as a weapon, but it didn't stop its effectiveness.

"Is she alright?" Cullen asked.

"How do you think she is?" Isabela replied angrily. "We don't have time for this. We don't even know what we're dealing with!"

Cullen considered for a moment. "If we're looking for a poison used by mages, then we'll need to speak to a mage."

Varric shook his head. "Who can you trust not to sell Anders out?"

Cullen knew who to go to.

"Sol. Sol will keep quiet about this." Cullen concluded. "Wait here. I'm going to bring him up."

Cullen closed to door quietly behind him, leaving Isabela and Varric to wait and hope that they weren't already too late.

Minutes ticked by leaving more and more stress behind.

By the time Cullen and Sol returned, Isabela was pacing madly back and forth while Varric readied Bianca in case someone needed prodding.

Sol was pale as he entered the Knight-Captain's quarters. He'd been around Templars too much recently and the anxiety was wearing on him.

He recognized the two characters who were friends with Allison though and that made him relax.

Cullen once again locked the door behind him and gestured for Sol to sit down.

"Sol," Cullen began. "We need your help and this matter is to be kept between us at all cost. Do you understand?"

Sol looked at the three people towering over him and knew that his life would be in danger if he broke this trust.

"I understand. What can I do for you?" the mage asked.

Cullen nodded at Varric and the dwarf began to explain.

"We have a friend, a mage friend, who's been poisoned."

Sol looked up at Cullen in alarm but the Templar did not react to the news that an apostate was involved.

Sol swallowed hard and looked back at the dwarf. "I remember Anders. Go on."

Varric sat on Cullen's bed and had a passing thought on how pathetic it was that a Templar Knight-Captain had to sleep on such a shoddy mattress.

"Before he lost consciousness, our friend said that he saw a mage."

That had Sol's brows lifting in surprise. "A mage poisoned one of his own?"

Varric nodded. "We need your help to identify the poison."

Cullen took over. "Sol, are you familiar with any poisons that are used by Circle mages?"

Sol thought for a long moment and Isabela was tempted to string him up by his ankles and beat the information out of him. She was no good and being helpless, and with Anders in danger and Allison waiting for them to come back, Isabela felt _very_ helpless indeed.

She settled for punching the wall.

Sol jumped at her actions and Isabela glared at him, the threat plain.

"Ummm, well, I uh, I know what poisons are commonly used in the Circle." Sol began to count on his fingers.

"There's Icebane, which freezes the blood. There's Toad Fungus which has an hallucinogenic effect. Cat's Breath, which seals the lungs closed. Whore's Cure…" Sol blushed. "Which um, makes the nether regions blacken with gangrene. But that's more of a revenge poison."

Now Isabela swallowed hard. "That's not right."

Sol turned to Cullen with a shrug. "Honestly Ser Cullen, mages don't have much use for poison as our powers usually protect us from up close attacks."

Cullen considered the mage's words silently.

An idea began to uncurl inside Varric's head that made him wish he had never thought it.

"We're all working on the assumption that a mage is behind this." he said.

Cullen made a sound of irritation. "You _said_ that a mage was involved!"

Varric nodded. "Yes, but what if they were sent by someone who has it in for our friend?"

Sol, Cullen and Isabela understood Varric's meaning quickly and they all said the name at the same time.

"_Alrik."_

Sol immediately denied such a possibility. "There is no way that a mage would help a Templar to kill one of his fellows."

Varric tilted his head. "Really? You've never seen a mage turn another mage in to the Templars for being an apostate?"

Sol opened his mouth and then closed it. It was true, and those kinds of mages were considered the worst of traitors.

Cullen raised his hand to bring the focus back to their problem.

"If Alrik _is_ involved, and I believe that your reasoning is sound Varric, then we will not find the antidote here. I would bet my last sovereign that Alrik would have concocted something special, something we've never seen before."

Isabela wanted to pound something into dust. "Then how in the hell do we figure out what was used on Anders?"

Cullen straightened. "I know how. We have one of Alrik's former followers in the Gallows' tower. I will question him."

Cullen made to move for the door but Isabela's palm smacked against the wood in front of his face.

"We'll be going with you." Isabela told the Templar.

Cullen frowned at the impertinence of the woman. "You will most certainly not be going with me. This is Templar business."

Isabela stepped into Cullen's space and the Templar backed up automatically, not sure how to deal with a female in this situation. His face turned red as the pirate's massive bosom pushed against his chestplate.

"This stopped being Templar business when you gave an insane man license to hunt down innocent people and carry out his own Exalted March." Isabela said, her tone cutting. "One of my friend's is dying and the other's heart is breaking into pieces every moment we don't find a cure. This asshole locked up in your tower may have the answers we need and we may need to use un-Templar-like methods to get them."

Isabela stepped back and withdrew one of her blades, pointed it at the Knight-Captain.

"We can either do this the easy way or I can kill you, take your keys and go and find this prisoner myself." she threatened.

Cullen glanced at the blade she held and gave her an unconcerned look. "I know you think that speech was impressive but you don't become Knight-Captain of the Templars by being frightened of a butter knife."

Isabela's mouth fell open and Cullen pulled the door open and waved her outside.

"After you two." he said and turned back to Sol. "You may return to your room Sol. Thank you for your help."

Sol was glad to be done with this business and he hurried back to his quarters.

Varric was chuckling to himself and Isabela was fuming.

"Butter knife? Is he mad?" she ranted in a whisper.

Varric's shoulders shook. "No, he's just got balls Rivaini. I kind of like him."

"Ugh." Isabela complained as they made their way up to the Tower.

Cullen told them to wait while he dealt with the guards. There were two sets of stairs that wound up to the top of the Gallows and Cullen excused the guards, sending them in the opposite direction from where Isabela and Varric waited.

He returned shortly and took them the rest of the way, pausing outside the cell door.

"We've had him in custody for two days now and he hasn't given us any information about Alrik. He just keeps repeating that he's a soldier of Andraste." Cullen warned.

"Well, let's hope that he's not stupid enough to scoff at my knife." Isabela said peevishly.

Cullen ignored her and unlocked the door to the tower cell. He lit the lanterns inside, washing the room with light.

It was a small room with one small window inside the cell. It was much too small for someone to escape from but it was still barred.

A few stools were arranged in the open area of the room where they could sit while they questioned the prisoner.

The man in question was currently sleeping on a lumpy cot. He had been stripped of his Templar armor and lay wearing a threadbare shirt and dingy trousers.

"Guwain!" Cullen called loudly, startling the man awake.

Guwain rubbed his eyes and peered at Cullen and the visitors with a languid gaze.

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

Cullen walked up to the cell and grabbed Guwain through the bars, pulling the man so that he smacked into the metal.

Guwain cried out, a hand rubbing his forehead. "Ow!"

Cullen tightened his hold on the former Templar's collar.

"You will remember who you are addressing! I am Knight-Captain Cullen and if that's too hard for your addled brain to manage then you will address me as Ser Cullen!"

Cullen shoved Guwain away, feeling disgusted that this man used to represent the Templars.

Guwain straightened his clothes but looked more shaken than he had before.

"Who are they…Ser Cullen?" Guwain added with a fearful look.

"That is none of your business. All you need know is that if I don't get the answers I'm looking for, I'm going to let them in there with you and you'll wish we had killed you out on the coast." Cullen promised.

He took a seat and Isabela and Varric followed suit.

Cullen folded his arms over his chest and gave Guwain a hard look.

"Your former master has been up to some new tricks." Cullen said. "He's poisoned someone and I want to know what he used."

Guwain grinned and sat on his cot, mimicking Cullen's posture. "I don't know what you're talking about, _Ser_ Cullen."

A small dagger imbedded itself in Guwain's upper arm and the man started screeching.

Cullen looked over at Isabela who shrugged carelessly.

"It's not one of my good blades." she said. "And we don't have time for this."

Cullen sighed and got to his feet. He unlocked the screaming man's cell and without ceremony, pulled out the knife which had gone all the way through.

Cullen sighed again. "We'll have to get a healer up here for this. After you answer our questions."

Guwain was crying and wailing, looking at Isabela like she was mad.

"She tried to kill me!" he cried.

Isabela harrumphed. "If I had wanted you dead, you would be."

Varric looked at the moon outside the window. The sky was beginning to take on that pale light that said night was moving on.

"We need to move this along." Varric said urgently.

Cullen tore a sheet and tied it around Guwain's arm.

"I'll let her in here if you don't stop wasting my time." Cullen said angrily.

Despite the blood loss Guwain still wanted to deal.

"What's in it for me?" he asked in a whiny voice.

Varric cocked Bianca, and as Guwain gasped, Cullen slammed the man against the cell wall.

"You think that you can bargain with me?" Cullen snarled. "You have disgraced the Templars. You have disgraced Andraste with your seditious actions! It makes me sick to think about you and your brethren flitting about in the dark, carrying out your filthy plans in the name of the Circle. You should be grateful that I don't have you drawn and quartered for treason!"

Cullen let Guwain go and the man slumped against the wall, his eyes wide with fear.

The Templars were not used to seeing the Knight-Captain lose his temper and it was all the more chilling for its rarity.

Cullen closed the cell door once again and took a deep breath.

The Templars had been his family since he was a boy and even though the system was far from perfect, he believed in its intentions fully. The idea of men sullying the Templar name and using senseless violence was beyond reprehensible.

Cullen turned his back on Guwain for he could no longer look upon the wretch.

"Tell me what Alrik uses in his poison." Cullen repeated in a quiet voice.

There was silence for a long moment and just when Cullen was about to set Varric and Isabela loose, Guwain spoke.

"He calls it the Mage's Affliction." Guwain answered.

Isabela and Varric both perked up at this and Cullen took his seat again.

"Explain." was all the Knight-Captain said.

Guwain placed a hand on the tourniquet. "Ser Alrik, made a poison that specifically cannot be cured by magic. He said that it would be poetic for a mage to be unable to help himself by using his curse."

Varric was puzzled. "Does Alrik have any mages working for him?"

Guwain hesitated but one look at Cullen's face had the answers spilling from him.

"Ser Alrik has…pets." Guwain said haltingly.

Isabela stood up impatiently. "Pets? What the hell does that mean!"

Guwain kept his eyes on the Knight-Captain. "Alrik captured mages over the last few years and has fitted them with a special collar that lets him control them."

"Son of a bitch." Varric swore.

Cullen agreed. Mages did not deserve such treatment. At least being made Tranquil was better than that in his opinion.

"Go on. What are the ingredients in this Mage's Affliction?" Cullen ordered.

Varric grabbed a piece of parchment and a pen and began writing what the prisoner told them.

Afterwards, Varric looked at the list grimly. "These are pretty exotic. What's the antidote?"

Guwain looked surprised. "There is no antidote."

Cullen took a step towards him but Guwain put up his hands and scrambled backwards.

"I swear Ser Cullen! I never heard of any antidote. Why would Ser Alrik wish to cure someone he poisoned?"

Varric looked at Cullen and they both knew that Guwain was telling the truth.

Cullen opened the door that led outside and let Isabela and Varric out.

"Go and wait in my room. I'll be down shortly." Cullen told them.

After Isabela and Varric left Cullen asked for a healer to be brought up to take care of Guwain's arm.

He couldn't believe that he was actually trying to help Anders but the actions of Alrik and his Templars were heinous and this was one way that Cullen could make things right.

It still smarted though.

In Cullen's chambers Varric and Isabela felt the weight of their failure to wrest a cure from Guwain.

Neither of them spoke to the other, too lost in private thoughts of their friend and the possibility of losing him. Neither could speak their worries aloud out of fear they would come true.

The door opened but it wasn't Cullen that stood there.

A shy looking Templar guard who looked to barely be out of his eighteenth year stood uncomfortably in the doorway.

Varric and Isabela subtly shifted into a more defensive stance but it was unnecessary.

"Beg your parden." The Templar said. "Ser Cullen has asked me to escort you to First Enchanter Orsino's quarters."

Varric gave Isabela a look of doubt but they followed the guard while staying alert.

The young man stopped in front of an ornate doorway, artistically carved with ancient trees, and knocked.

Cullen was the one to open the door and he waved Isabela and Varric inside, dismissing the guard.

"I had an idea on my way back down." Cullen explained, nodding at Orsino.

The elf gestured for Isabela and Varric to sit down.

"Cullen has told me that the young woman I met is in trouble. That Alrik has poisoned someone close to her, though he won't tell me who." Orsino looked a little irritated by that fact.

Cullen frowned. "It's best for all of us if you don't know the answer to that question."

Orsino contemplated the Templar's words and finally sighed, taking a seat himself.

"Yes, well, being woken from a hard sleep by the Knight-Captain for such altruistic reasons made me curious." Orsino commented, taking in the strange company the Templar was keeping these days.

Varric held out the parchment. "This is a list of the ingredients in the poison."

Orsino took it and Cullen explained his reason for coming to Orsino.

"It occurred to me that just because Alrik never made an antidote, it doesn't mean that one can't be crafted. I thought that if any mage would be able to think of something, it would be you First Enchanter."

Orsino looked at Cullen wryly. "Such flattery Cullen. Isn't it ironic that the Knight-Captain would need the help of a mage?"

Isabela gritted her teeth. They were wasting time. For all they knew, Anders was already dead!

An image of Allison alone in the clinic, holding Anders' dead body in her arms drifted into Isabela's mind.

She pushed it away because she couldn't deal with that right now. Instead she focused on Orsino.

"Do you know what Alrik did to Allison when he took her away from the Gallows?" Isabela demanded.

Orsino had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Yes. I heard some rumors." he admitted.

Isabela leaned forward earnestly. "Let me tell you what it was like to be there. The warehouse was damp and cold. She was sitting in a chair, restrained. You could smell burnt flesh because he had used a hot poker on her. Her blood was spattered all over her clothes. Alrik had broken her nose and then beaten her before he started breaking her fingers."

Isabela stood then, towering over Orsino at his desk.

"She was innocent and she was tortured by a man who hunts for your kind. You saw her. You know the truth. And I'll be damned if I'll sit here while you taunt Cullen because you have something he needs. This isn't about you and the Templars. This is about doing the right thing and believe me, coming from me that's rich."

Instead of feeling energized by her speech, Isabela felt oddly tired. She sat back down and her shoulders slumped.

Varric reached over and put a hand on her arm in solidarity. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

Cullen was deeply affected by Isabela's recounting of finding Allison. There were details that he hadn't known and he felt shaken and disturbed to hear them.

The Templar looked at Orsino to find his expression mirrored there.

Orsino hung his head. His shame was palpable.

"Forgive me. You are right of course. Please, give me e moment to look over this list."

Orsino studied the ingredients and was horrified to recognize the poison.

"This is Tevinter in origin." he stated.

"Tevinter?" Cullen repeated. "That country is run by Tevinter Magisters; mages. Why would they make a poison that could hurt them?"

Orsino placed the parchment on his desk and folded his hands. "That's precisely the point. The Tevinter Magisters are driven by the need for power and control. One method of control is the ability to take out your rivals."

Varric interrupted. "Forget the history lesson. Is there a cure?"

Orsino glanced at the list again and then stood up, waling over to his bookshelves. "Yes. In Tevinter the antidote would be held out as a means to gain the person who was poisoned."

The elf found the book he was looking for and opened it. Cullen, Varric and Isabela gathered around him to read the book.

"This is a volume describing various Tevinter alchemists' potions, including the poison. But, as you can see here." Orsino pointed to a specific passage. "Alrik adapted the poison to use ingredients that you would find here around Kirkwall. We would need to adapt the antidote, which is here, in the same way."

Cullen stepped back. "Can you do it Orsino?"

"I have Alrik's list and the Tevinter's equivalent. I believe I can but I need time." Orsino said.

"We don't have time." Varric argued.

"Give me one hour and I think I'll have it." Orsino pleaded. "I'd like to help if I can."

Cullen made the decision. "Isabela, why don't you go back to Allison. This is all for naught is he's dead already. If he is then send word back to us. Otherwise, she could probably use a friend right now."

Isabela didn't even hesitate. Squeezing Varric's hand, she walked to the door. Orsino called after her.

"Wait! Take this with you." Orsino gave her a bottle with a light blue liquid in it.

"It will slow the flow of his blood and it may help to slow the progress of the poison." Orsino explained.

"Thank you." Isabela said and left the three men alone.

"Alright Orsino. You've got one hour." Cullen said grimly.

The elf took a deep breath. "Then the two of you had better sit down and shut up. Let me work."

Cullen raised a brow but did as he was told, as did Varric.

Varric couldn't help thinking that this had to be the oddest collaboration in history.

A Templar Knight working with the mage's First Enchanter to save an apostate.

Varric decided that he would write a story about it. If Anders survived.


	36. Chapter 36 Dream Warrior

***IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**1)For my readers on , there was a problem on the site alerting readers that the previous chapter was out. Please make sure that you've read that before starting this one. I can only hope that the notice goes out properly on this one.**

**Also: I have included a cameo by a well-known character in this chapter but this is my version of them and not in line at **_**all**_** with what happened in the game.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 36 – Dream Warrior

Allison remained seated by Anders' side as he lay in bed. She felt hollow and useless. At that moment she would have given anything to have a useful ability that could help Anders.

Rune stones were of no use now.

Allison rested her head on their joined hands and listened to Anders' shallow breathing.

Did the Maker exist? Were the gods that the people of Thedas worshipped real? Would they listen to an outsider who asked for help to save a man who put the wellbeing of others ahead of his own to the point of exhaustion?

Did they care?

Allison's throat closed up as the tears that she had been fighting for hours tried to break through the wall she had built to prevent herself from going insane.

She couldn't lose Anders, she just couldn't!

Allison heard the clinic door open and she grabbed her dagger from the dresser.

Isabela called out to her as she rushed into the bedroom.

"Is he alright?" Isabela asked, short of breath from running the whole way.

"He's alive but his breathing doesn't sound good and he's still running a fever." Allison answered, looking over Isabela's shoulder for the others.

"Where are Varric and Cullen?" Allison demanded, a bubble of hysteria seeping through her calm.

Isabela heard it and put a hand on Allison's shoulder.

"It's fine. Cullen and Varric are with First Enchanter Orsino. Orsino says he can figure out the antidote to the poison." Isabela reassured her.

Allison blew out a breath and tried to make her muscles relax.

"How long will it take?" she asked.

Isabela put a hand on Anders' forehead and frowned at the heat emanating from his skin.

"When I left he said to give him an hour so it should be soon now." Isabela replied.

"Ok." Allison closed her eyes for a moment and tried to hold on to hope. "Can you help me get some fluids down him?"

Isabela was quick to help. She propped Anders up and let him lean against her while Allison spooned warm soup down his throat. They also managed to get him to swallow some water which was good.

After making sure that Anders was comfortable Isabela eyed Allison next.

"You need to get some sleep yourself. I'll watch him until the boys get back." Isabela said.

Allison shook her head. "No, I don't want to leave him."

Isabela grabbed Allison by the arm and took her out into the main room to a cot and pushed her down.

"You can't help him if you keel over from fatigue." Isabela snapped. "Lay down and close your eyes. Even if you can't sleep it will still do you some good."

Allison's eyes felt like they had grit in them and her body was sore from sitting so long.

"I'll lay down for a few minutes, that's it. Wake me if Anders stirs or anything." Allison ordered before obeying Isabela's command.

Satisfied, Isabela returned to the bedroom and took over watching Anders.

"If you die on us I'll find a way to the Maker's side and kick your ass!" Isabela whispered in Anders' ear.

He didn't respond but Isabela hoped that a part of him would hear her and keep fighting.

It was almost an hour later when Allison was awakened by knocking at the door.

She sat up confused and bleary-eyed for a moment before reality rushed back into her consciousness.

She hopped up from the cot and saw Isabela already cautiously approaching the door.

They bother heard Varric call out on the other side.

Allison hurried over eager to administer whatever cure Orsino had come up with.

Isabela let Varric and Cullen in but both women saw the grim looks on their faces.

Allison's knees threatened to buckle so she grabbed the back of a chair to hold herself up.

Cullen stepped forward and bowed. "Allison. How does Anders fare?"

"He's not good. Why do you and Varric look like you brought bad news?" Allison said in a dull voice. She couldn't feel anything; the fear had taken everything.

Varric took her hand. "It's not bad news. It's just that the antidote is going to take a bit longer to make."

"Why?" Allison asked.

"We have to find the ingredients first and they're not exactly laying around waiting to be picked." Varric explained.

"They're plants?" Allison asked, feeling like her brain was running on molasses.

Cullen nodded. "Yes, various kinds of herbs and flowers. The good thing is that Alrik adapted a Tevinter poison by using ingredients found in and around Kirkwall so Orsino was able to create an antidote recipe using ingredients here as well."

Allison rubbed her forehead and made her way back to the bedroom. She took her seat again, by Anders' side.

"So you basically have to go on a scavenger hunt and hope that you can find everything before Anders dies?" she said, her tone despondent.

The others had followed her and now stood huddled around Anders.

Cullen was alarmed at how badly the mage looked but his heart broke when he saw how it was affecting Allison.

She may not be his, but he cared for her and it pained him to see her hurting.

He knelt next to her chair and she looked at him with crestfallen eyes that carried the sheen of unshed tears.

He caught her chin in his hand. "You love him very much don't you?" he asked quietly.

He felt the shudder that rippled through her as she tried to hold back the emotions that wanted to overtake her.

She couldn't speak so she simply nodded and one wayward tear splashed onto Cullen's hand.

"Then I swear to you that we will find every plant, every herb, every sapling needed and we will cure him." Cullen promised solemnly.

He stood and kissed her hand, allowing the friends to say their goodbyes before they began their search.

Isabela kissed Allison's cheek. "Everything is going to be fine. We'll be back soon."

Varric raised her chin with his hand. "Have faith Denim. I don't believe that fate brought you here just to have you lose each other."

Allison stood and hugged Isabela and Varric fiercely. "Thank you. Thank you for being my friends. Whatever happens…"

Varric stepped back and shook his head. "No whatever; he's going to be fine. You can't have an epic love story if the hero dies."

Allison's lips trembled. "Isn't that what always happens in epic love stories?"

Varric snorted. "Not when _I_ write them."

"C'mon, let's go." Isabela urged and she and Varric went out to join Cullen.

Allison sat back down and held Anders' hand.

"Well, we have an epic love story to live up to so you'd better get your ass back to the land of the living."

**The Wounded Coast…**

After two hours on the Wounded Coast the three companions had only managed to find two of the twelve ingredients.

With every minute they failed, they knew that Anders was closer to death.

"What the hell does Honey Bell look like?" Varric asked impatiently.

They had been trudging around the brush for ages and the worry was eating at him.

"It looks like a _bell_ Varric!" Isabela snapped. She was worrying as well and it was whittling away at her temper.

Cullen had left his Templar armor at the clinic and he was glad because the heat was already rising from the sea and it wasn't even fully light yet.

They had lit torches and stuck them in the sand for light but it was still difficult to see.

"I found it!" he called and Isabela came over with the sack they were using to collect the samples.

"Three down and nine to go." Varric sighed. "Hang in there Blondie."

**Back at the clinic…**

Allison checked Anders' temperature again and despaired. His skin was like fire and she couldn't think of anything to do to get it down.

A knock sounded at the door and she wanted to throw a chair across the room.

She marched to the door and called out, "The clinic is closed!"

She wanted bang her head against the door until unconsciousness claimed her but the voice on the other side had her opening it quickly.

Bodhan stood there with Sandal by his side.

"Hello Miss Allison." Bodhan said gravely. "We heard about Anders and we've come to help."

Allison fell to her knees and hugged the air right out of the two dwarfs.

"I'm so glad you're here! I don't know what to do to help him." Allison said, grateful to not be alone anymore.

Bodhan patted her back in a fatherly way and she felt marginally better.

"Let's take a look at him shall we?" Bodhan said marching into the bedroom like he knew the place.

Sandal took Allison's hand and smiled up at her. It was so innocent and so full of optimism that Allison found her lips curving in a smile. She hadn't smiled in a long time it felt like.

Allison watched Bodhan examine Anders, biting her nails nervously.

He glanced around the room and snapped his fingers.

"I know one thing we can do. We can get him into the tub with some nice cold water." Bodhan suggested.

"To help his fever go down?" Allison asked. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Well, you wouldn't have been able to do it on your own Miss, but Sandal and I are here and the three of us can manage together." Bodhan said in reassurance.

Allison thought that "together" was the most beautiful word she'd ever heard.

And it was easy for the three of them to lift Anders from the bed and get him into the deep dwarven tub. Allison drew up water from the well and poured it bucket by bucket into the tub.

Bodhan stood back and stroked his chin. "Now, if there was only a way to get the water colder…"

This time Allison _could_ do something helpful.

"I can fix that!" she said and started digging around in the draw where she kept some of her rune stones.

Sandal clapped as he caught on and Bodhan nodded in satisfaction.

Allison pulled out several ice runes that could be used the way the heating runes were used to warm the bathwater up.

She placed them at the foot of the tub and kept her hand in the water.

Sure enough the temperature of the water dropped like the tub was filled with ice cubes.

She and Sandal and Bodhan grinned at each other.

Allison took a cloth and wet it with the cold water and dabbed Anders' face with it.

"We know you can cook but Sandal and I brought over some ingredients for an old dwarven soup that mothers have used to fight fever for ages." Bodhan announced. "I'll get it started."

"Thank you Bodhan, thank you Sandal. It means so much to me that you're both here." she said earnestly.

"Well we consider you and Anders family so there's no question of where we'd be is there?" Bodhan said with a firm nod before he and Sandal went out front.

Once the soup was cooking, Allison, Bodhan and Sandal got Anders out of the tub.

The two dwarves held him upright on the bed while Allison dried him off and then they tucked him back in. Allison didn't want to get her hopes up but she thought Anders' skin seemed much cooler even an hour after the bath.

She held Anders' head while Bodhan ladled soup into his mouth and then they all sat down, not sure what to do next.

Everything seemed fine for the next two hours until they were all startled by Anders' cries.

Allison thought that he was waking so she called to him.

"Anders? Anders can you hear me? Wake up!"

He was murmuring something and he was sweating profusely.

Bodhan strained to catch the words. "What's he saying?"

Allison shook her head. "I don't know. I can't quite understand him."

She clasped his face in her hands and tried to talk to him again.

"Anders! Wake up it's Allison."

He just kept mumbling unintelligibly.

"_Stay away…no!...please…Desire…help me!"_

"What does that mean?" Allison asked Bodhan who shook his head.

"I don't know. It sounds like he's having a nightmare."

The answer came from Sandal.

"Demon." The boy said.

"What?" both Bodhan and Allison said at the same time.

"Bad place. Bad things." Sandal said and he looked troubled.

Bodhan understood. "Of course! We should have expected this to happen."

"Expected what? Bodhan explain!" Allison urged him.

"Anders is a mage and demons prey on mages when they're in vulnerable states. Sometimes it's out here in the real world but sometimes it's inside the Fade." he explained.

"Wait a minute. Are you saying that some demon is attacking Anders while he's unconscious?" Allison asked in amazement and fear.

"What better time?" Bodhan confirmed. "He's very ill and the demon might offer him a way out. With strings attached of course."

Allison again felt that odd disconnect that came from not being from this world. Sometimes things were so normal that she could put it aside but then at times like this her mind had to come to terms with concepts that were outside of her realm of possibilities.

But none of that mattered now.

"How can I help him?" Allison asked.

Bodhan thought it through. "Well, dwarves aren't ones for magic and the Fade. We don't go there when we sleep. What we need is an expert on these matters."

They all looked at Anders who would normally _be_ the expert.

"Who can we go to?" Allison pressed. "There has to be someone."

Bodhan paced. "We have to be careful. We can't just let anybody know that we have an apostate mage here."

Allison agreed. "We need someone who has no loyalty to the Circle. Someone who wouldn't care that Anders is an apostate."

Sandal pulled on Allison's shirt. "Elves." he said.

"Huh?" Allison had no clue what Sandal meant by that.

Bodhan did. "That's brilliant my boy!" he cried. "The Dalish know more about magic than the Circle's forgotten. And they're encamped outside Kirkwall right now."

"The Dalish?" Allison tried to think back to the many books she had read when she first arrived in Thedas.

She knew that the Dalish were elves but they were different from the city elves. They considered themselves "purebloods" compared to city elves and they were nomads, wondering throughout the land and making camp in various places.

Allison also remembered that the Dalish made a point of trying to preserve their history and that included magic.

That decided it.

"How do we contact them?" Allison asked, watching Anders out of the corner of her eye. He was still moaning and now he was beginning to toss and turn.

Sandal raised his hand. "Me, me!"

"No Sandal honey." Allison said kindly. "I know you want to help but we can't send you out to God knows where."

Bodhan cleared his throat and smiled a little. "Don't let him fool you. If you remember the first time we all met, Sandal was knee-deep in darkspawn. My boy can handle himself. Besides we have a relationship with Dalish. We've traded with them before and the Keeper took a shine to Sandal."

Allison smiled. "He does have a way about him."

"Then it's settled." Bodhan exclaimed. "Sandal, I'm going to write a letter to the Keeper and you deliver for me alright?

Sandal nodded enthusiastically and Allison had another moment of understanding with the boy. He wanted to be of use too, just like her.

Bodhan used the quill and parchment on the desk to write his request to the Dalish.

"I'm going to walk him out of the city boundary and then return." Bodhan said, patting Sandal on the back.

"We'll be waiting." Allison said and she hoped that Anders could fight two battles at once.

"You're strong. I know you can do this." she whispered to him. "Fight."

Bodhan returned after a while and there was nothing they could do but wait.

They kept Anders hydrated as best they could but what they needed was the antidote.

"Shouldn't they be back by now Bodhan?" Allison said pacing back and forth.

"I'm sure they're hurrying as fast as they can. Don't you worry, this will all turn out right." Bodhan soothed.

Anders continued to talk in his sleep and his words made Allison think that the demon might be making a good argument.

"_No…I can't do that…tired…so tired…perhaps…"_

"Oh no you don't!" Allison said angrily and grabbed Anders' face again with more force. "Fight damn you! Don't listen to them!"

A new voice spoke from the door.

"He needs your help."

Allison gasped and spun around in surprise as did Bodhan.

Next to Sandal stood a young elven woman with large moss green eyes and intricate tattoos decorating her face.

"What the…? Who the hell are you?" Allison asked, her hand over her thumping heart.

The girl looked chagrined. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Fancy that, an elf frightening a shemlen."

The girl grimaced. "Not that I _liked_ frightening you. I'm mucking it up aren't I?"

The girl walked forward and put her hand out. "Let's start over. I'm Merrill, First to the Keeper. I've come to help."

Allison slowly reached out her hand and they shook. "You're Dalish?"

"Yes. Don't I look it?" Merrill asked seriously.

Allison smiled and shrugged. "I don't know, I've never seen a Dalish before."

"Well I've never seen a woman wearing trousers like that before so isn't this fun!" Merrill laughed.

She sobered quickly though looking at Anders. "I'm sorry. This is no time for laughing is it?"

The elf put down the bag she was carrying and went over to Anders. She put her hands on his face and closed her eyes, going still.

Allison, Bodhan and Sandal watched while the minutes ticked by.

It seemed the girl would never move again when finally she stirred. She patted Anders hairs in a motherly fashion and stepped back.

"You were right Bodhan. There is a struggle going on and this mage may lose if we don't act quickly." she said.

"What do we do?" Allison asked as she watched Merrill take foreign looking items from her bag.

"We must go in after him." Merrill said. "Well, not _we_, but _you_."

"Me?" Allison pointed to herself. "_I'm_ going into the Fade? Again?"

Merrill perked up. "Oh! You've been before! Well that makes this easier doesn't it?"

"Um, not really but that doesn't matter. Shouldn't you go Merrill since you know what you're doing?" Allison asked.

Merrill shook her head. "No. In cases like this it's best if someone close to the person goes in. Only someone with a strong connection can reason with them and hopefully make them remember what they have back home. You know, give them a reason to turn down what's being offered. Besides, I must make the bridge linking your minds together so that you can travel in the Fade."

Allison swallowed and her stomach flipped, then flopped. "Ok. Knock me out."

Merrill smiled kindly. "Not quite yet. First we need to discuss what you'll face inside the Veil."

Allison sat and listened intently. She remembered what had happened when she and Justice had travelled through the Fade together. It had been an eye-opening and terrifying experience.

"The shape of the Fade takes on whatever the dreamer is familiar with. That means that you may not recognize where you are or the people you'll see. It would be parts of Anders' past and present mixed together." Merrill explained.

"Don't trust anyone except Anders." she continued. "You'll know him because he'll look more substantial than the others. You must also accept that it may be too late. I sensed a dual presence when I touched his mind and that's not good."

Allison and Bodhan shared a look and Allison decided that sharing the secret was important if it made a difference in how she could help Anders.

"Actually, Anders shares his body with a spirit of Justice from the Fade. So that's probably what you felt."

Merrill's mouth formed a perfect O. "Well, isn't that amazing! I wonder what that's like? Maybe he can tell me when he wakes up."

Allison liked the girl's attitude. "Ok. So don't trust anyone. What else?"

"The demons will try to lure you in as well so be on guard. Never take anything they offer, even if it's a glass of water. They will always exact a heavy price." Merrill continued.

"And how do I get out?" Allison asked nervously.

"When you're ready just think of a door and it will appear. Walk through it and you'll wake up." Merrill replied.

"And if you're not possessed then we won't have to kill you." The elf added cheerily.

"Swell." Allison said, drawing the word out.

"Ready?" Merrill asked, handing Allison a glass with a murky liquid in it.

Allison sighed. "Will I ever stop drinking mysterious beverages?"

She tilted the cup and drank the contents. Almost immediately a warm drowsiness came over her.

She laid her head next to Anders' and Merrill put her hands over both of their faces.

"_Dorund halla, dorund meketh, dorund und halla, saybet."_

The Dalish words lulled Allison to sleep and into the Fade.

…**.**

_Allison awoke on the cold ground with rocks digging into her back._

_For a moment, when the forest swam before her eyes, she thought she was back home in Seattle. The odd lighting and strange shapes dancing in the air made that idea less likely._

_Allison slowly stood up and dusted her jeans off, looking around to get her bearings._

_She definitely wasn't home._

_There were wobbly trees around her but on top of one of them was a wooden boat. It made no sense for a boat to be sitting on top of a tree and that's when Allison remembered where she was._

"_Get a grip girl." she told herself. "I've got a job to do."_

_She was at a dead end so Allison turned and took a rickety path out of the woods._

_The scenery got even weirder. Parts of Kirkwall loomed in the distance but the stairs were broken and some of the buildings were upside down._

_On one side of the path a pale horse stood on dead grass, looking at her with baleful eyes. On the other she saw a Templar guarding cages full of mewing cats._

"_Anders, what the hell is going on in your head?" Allison said aloud._

_The sun was gray in the sky and was moving at an odd speed; much too fast, making night and day appear in quick succession._

_The poison must be playing with Anders' mind. It would explain the odd content of his dreams._

_Allison stayed on the path, trying to ignore the unsettling imagery and focused on her task. She was tempted to call out for Anders but knowing that demons were plaguing him made her stop._

_There was no telling who would respond to her call._

_Over a rise Allison spotted a house resting in a cozy nook off the path._

_It was stone and there was a chimney with smoke rising into the sky. Roses bloomed in the small yard and Allison could smell fresh bread baking._

_Her mouth watered even though none of it was real._

_Perhaps Anders had found a safe place to hide?_

_Allison knocked on the wood door which was painted white and trimmed in a cheerful yellow._

_A woman answered the door and Allison gaped at her. _

_There was no question that the woman was Anders' mother. There just wasn't. The resemblance was striking except for her hair color which Allison remembered Anders' saying he got from his father. As he had told her, he got his nose from his mother. _

_For some reason Allison felt a rush of affection swell up but she reminded herself that this person wasn't real._

_The woman smiled warmly at her._

"_May I help you?" she asked._

_Allison felt like an idiot._

"_Um, hi. I was looking for Anders?" Allison said lamely._

_The woman's eyes, the same shade as her son's, sparkled with happiness as she waved Allison in._

"_Please come in, we were just sitting down to supper." the woman invited. _

_Allison stepped inside the house but the hairs on the back of her neck rose as she crossed the threshold._

_Something was not right here._

_Allison felt an irrational desire to run but the door had been closed behind her._

"_Who is it mother?" the voice that called out belonged to Anders._

_Allison grinned and ran into the adjoining room, relieved that she had found him._

"_Anders!" she said joyously and flung herself at him._

_He chuckled but pushed her away gently. _

"_Do I know you?" he asked looking at her in puzzlement._

_Allison blinked and stepped back. Her throat closed for a moment and she had to swallow twice before she could speak._

"_Anders…it's me. Allison? Are you ok?"_

_His brow furrowed as if he were trying to figure out what she was talking about._

"_I'm sorry but I don't know you. Have we met before? Perhaps at a party at the Viscount's home?" he asked politely._

"_I…what? The Viscount? Anders you're not making any sense." Allison said, anxiety curling in her stomach. "We live at the clinic. You know me!"_

_Anders' mother stepped forward and put an arm around Allison._

"_Anders don't be rude." she admonished mildly. "Come dear, you're obviously tired and confused. Come and sit and eat with us."_

_Allison was pushed into a chair but her head was spinning._

_Anders didn't remember her._

_Was it the poison or was it being in this place?_

_Anders smiled at his mother, then at her._

"_I apologize. Of course you are welcome here." Anders said happily. "You are dressed quite strangely. What land do you hail from?"_

"_Seattle" Allison mumbled numbly. _

_Merrill hadn't prepared her for the possibility of Anders forgetting her. Allison didn't know what to do to bring him back to himself._

_Anders' mother returned with large bowls filled with beef stew and placed the bread that Allison had smelled in the center of the table._

_It looked real but Allison knew better._

"_Mother this looks wonderful!" Anders exclaimed, giving the woman a look so full of love that Allison felt her heart break a little._

_She knew he missed his mother very much; so much that he couldn't talk about her very often._

_Since this was his dream, it made sense that he would bring her back._

_Allison felt doubt creep into her mind._

_If Anders was choosing his surroundings, why did he bring his mother back but choose to forget about them?_

_In his deepest wishes was Allison not a part of his life if he could have something better?_

_Allison shook those thoughts off because it didn't matter. Whatever desires Anders had, he couldn't stay here._

_Desires…_

_Allison's head snapped up and she looked at the house with a scrutinizing eye._

_Desires were the key. If a demon was trying to entice him then they would try to give him what he wants._

_Anders wanted his family back and that's exactly what he had._

_The house was perfect, the food was perfect, his mother was perfect._

_Too perfect._

_One way to wake Anders up was to bring him back to reality. Allison aimed a hard look at his "mother"._

"_Where have you been all these years?" Allison asked pointedly._

_Anders' mother looked startled and gave a quick sidelong look at Anders._

"_Why what do you mean my dear? I've been here all along." the woman replied sweetly._

"_Really?" Allison returned harshly. "You've been in Kirkwall while Anders has been in hiding from the Circle?"_

_Anders looked up from his bowl, confusion flitting across his face before it became blank._

_However, Allison saw the glint in his mother's eye change to hatred directed right at her._

"_You're a very ill-mannered child aren't you?" the woman snarled._

_Again Anders looked up, surprised at the venom in his mother's voice._

"_Are you alright mother?" he asked, sounding like a child who was becoming afraid._

_The woman smiled swiftly and ran her hands over his hair in a loving gesture._

_Allison wanted to bitch slap her for touching him._

_The woman turned glowing red eyes towards Allison._

"_You're not doing him any favors dear; trying to take him back with you." she said. "He's happier here. Aren't you darling?"_

_Anders barely looked up from his food. "Yes mother."_

_Allison stood up, slapping her palms on the table._

"_And you're not helping him by offering him lies in lieu of his life!" _

_Anders' mother grinned and her teeth were very sharp. Her body rolled like there were pieces moving beneath her plain dress._

_Allison wanted to step back but she knew that she was facing a demon. Backing down was not an option._

"_Let him go!" Allison ordered._

_The demon smirked and then pouted._

"_Anders? Our guest has hurt my feelings." she purred._

_That got his attention and Anders stopped eating, glaring at Allison._

"_You're not being very nice after my mother went to the trouble of feeding you." he accused angrily._

_Allison watched the demon smile in approval as Anders turned on her._

"_Anders none of this is real." Allison said, trying to keep her voice steady. "You haven't seen your mother since you were a boy and your father sent you away to the Circle."_

_The demon feigned a hurt look._

"_Anders, she's making up lies! She's trying to take me away from you!"_

_Anders rose and his eyes were as hard as amber as he came towards Allison._

"_You won't take my mother away. I'll kill you first!" he spat._

_Allison did back away then, her hands raised in front of her._

"_Anders don't you remember? The Circle? You escaped seven times! You joined the Gray Wardens and you came to Kirkwall!" Allison said quickly._

_His mother looked wounded. "Why would you say such terrible things to him? Anders has always been with me like a good son, and I take care of him."_

"_Shut up you stupid demon! Stop talking to him." Allison tripped as she walked backwards and changed her direction to go towards the front door._

_Anders paused at the word "demon". His face went blank again and he shook his head._

_The demon wasn't having that._

"_Anders my son, don't listen to her. You have to protect me. Cast her out!"_

_Anders' face showed no hesitation as magical energy swirled around his hands._

_Allison felt fear freeze her in place. "Anders…don't." she pleaded._

"_Anders do it!" the demon shouted._

_Anders pushed the magic into the air towards Allison and she felt the air sucked from her lungs as she flew through the front door._

_She landed in a heap in the front yard and Anders stalked outside after her._

_Allison coughed, trying to drag in oxygen. She felt like a horse had kicked her in the chest but she had no time to rest because Anders was still coming for her._

_Allison crawled backwards, her eyes watering from the pain._

"_Please stop." she pleaded._

"_We don't want you here anymore." Anders said cruelly._

"_This isn't you." Allison said her back coming against a tree. "Just think for a minute! Think about your life in Kirkwall…about the clinic."_

_Anders stopped, his lips repeating her words. "The…clinic?"_

"_Yes! The clinic, all those people who need you, all the patients you've saved." Allison cried, clinging to hope as disbelief crossed Anders' face._

"_I have a clinic?" he asked._

"_Yes and we can go back." Allison assured him._

_The demon stepped outside, anger making her ugly._

"_Anders, don't you want to want to be with me? Don't you love me?" it asked._

_Anders shook his head. "Yes…of course mother."_

_It smiled evilly. "Then kill her."_

_Allison glared at the monster. "You can't actually kill me so nice try. If you do I'll just wake up."_

_The demon raised a brow on its human face. "Are you sure? You are not from this place girl. How will your outsider's body react to a death in the Fade?"_

_Anders straightened and turned to face his mother._

"_The Fade? But I thought…you said that we were home." he said, dazed and still muddled._

_The demon glanced at Anders frantically._

"_We are my darling. This woman is confusing me with her dark magic. Kill her!"_

_Anders bent down and grabbed Allison by the throat, holding her against the tree._

_Allison grabbed his wrist, trying to pry his hands away but he was as strong in the Fade as he was in reality._

"_Anders…"Allison choked out._

"_Don't let her speak to you." the demon ordered._

_Allison saw Anders hesitate for a split second before his resolve strengthened and she knew that her life could be over._

_She called for help._

"_Justice!"_

_Anders was knocked aside as the spirit wavered into view and shoved him._

_Allison collapsed to her knees, weakened from Anders' attack._

_Justice helped her to her feet and then staggered. Allison caught him, helping him to sit down._

"_What's wrong? Justice are you hurt?" she asked checking him for injuries._

"_I will mend but you must get out of this place." Justice replied trying to keep both the demon and Anders in his sight._

_Anders lunged at them and Justice pushed Allison aside. The spirit's hand reached into Anders' chest causing him to cry out._

_Anders' body shook like he was being electrocuted._

"_What are you doing to him!" Allison screamed but Justice didn't answer._

_She couldn't believe that Justice would kill Anders here because he would awaken Tranquil._

_Anders jerked once more and then crumpled to the ground lying very still. Justice sighed wearily and laid his head against the tree._

_Allison crawled over to Anders and brushed his tangled hair back._

_His eyes opened and realization flooded them._

"_Allison?" Anders said, bewildered._

_She smiled triumphantly because it was really him and not some empty reflection being manipulated anymore._

_A scream sounded behind them and they all watched in shock as the Desire Demon who had been masquerading as Anders' mother was crushed by another demon._

_The new visitor stretched its spiny body and considered them with seven dark eyes._

"_Excuse my predecessor." It said, it's voice a deep rumble. "She obviously miscalculated the power my brother has over his host. I will not._

_Anders sagged next to Allison on the ground and she quickly wrapped her arms around him._

"_Watch out for him." Anders said weakly. "Pride."_

"_What's wrong?" Allison asked Anders as he slumped against her. _

_She looked to Justice but the spirit was flickering like a light that was going out._

"_Justice! Hang on, I'm going to get you both out of here!" she cried. "What's happening?" she hurled the question at the demon._

"_He's dying. They both are." the demon answered. "Would you like to save them?"_

_Allison glared hotly at the monster. "Of course I would! You know that!"_

_The creature tilted its hideous head and Allison could see it thinking of how to sway her._

"_You believe that you can say to no to anything I offer don't you child?" it said in a tone that was almost sad._

"_I can. I was warned about your kind and honestly I'm not all that impressed." Allison said with bravado._

_The monster laughed and then quieted, staring at her for a long time while she held Anders and stroked his face._

"_He always saves you doesn't he?" the demon commented. "He always comes to your rescue. Aren't you tired of being the damsel in distress as you would call it?"_

_Allison stiffened. The damned thing was reading her mind._

"_I'm not a damsel in distress. I can take care of myself." Allison argued even as she remembered all the times Anders had helped her._

_From her first day in Thedas Anders had been there for her; through seizures and assaults and by giving her a place to stay. By loving her._

"_Yes, and what have you done for him?" the demon finished her thought. "The one time he needs you and all you could do was run to your friends for help. How pathetic."_

"_What was I supposed to do?" Allison said miserably. "I can't heal him."_

_The demon grinned. "Would you like to?"_

"_What?" she stared at the monster. "What are you talking about?"_

"_I could give you the gift, the gift that your lover has; the ability to truly help people. Wouldn't you like that?" it offered._

_Allison's lips pressed together in anger. "Magic can't heal him!"_

_Another laugh._

"_Do you think I would offer you such a common gift?" it chided. "No, I offer you something that no mortal has. A power that exceeds the magic of the Circle." It paused meaningfully._

"_You could save him." it purred._

_For a moment Allison imagined Anders waking up in the clinic and looking into his eyes, knowing that she had finally been able to repay him for what he'd done for her._

_Then she imagined her body twisting and morphing into a creature that would be unrecognizable. A creature that Anders would be horrified by; one he'd have to destroy._

"_No deal asshole." Allison said darkly. "Leave us alone. We don't need you."_

"_Really?" the creature said mockingly. "Why don't I do that and see how far you get?"_

_Suddenly the landscape disappeared along with the house , and Allison found them stranded on a jagged cliffside._

_The ground was desolate and hard. The sky flashed with lightening and rumbled with thunder._

"_Anders?" Allison shook him much as she had in the real world._

_His eyes opened a bit but they were glazed and tired._

"_Allison? I'm…I'm so sorry." Anders whispered._

_He tried to lift a hand to her face but he didn't have the strength. Allison took it and kissed his palm, pressing his hand to her face._

"_It's fine, everything's fine. We're going to get out here." Allison assured him. _

_She looked over at Justice. "__**All**__ of us are getting out of here."_

_Allison closed her eyes and concentrated on the image of a door the way Merrill had told her._

_It appeared a few yards away and the breath she had been holding rushed out in gratitude._

"_Ok, we'll take this slow and I'll get you both over to the door." Allison said, trying to figure out how to drag both Anders and Justice out._

_Justice reached out to her. "You only have to get Anders out, I will follow. It's his mind that must leave this place to save us both."_

_Allison squeezed Justice's flickering hand I comfort._

"_Then you'll be home soon." she promised._

_Allison put her hands under Anders' arms to get him up. He tried to help her as much as he could but he was very weak._

"_Little steps." Allison encouraged. "We'll take it in little steps."_

"_I'm sorry I hurt you." he said weakly. "It felt so real…all of it…my mother."_

"_I know, and I'm so sorry that creature tricked you like that." Allison reassured him. "We'll get you home. Varric and Isabela and Cullen are finding the ingredients for your cure right now."_

_The mention of Cullen's name was enough to bring a little life back to Anders, in the form of a disbelieving frown._

"_Cullen? The bloody Templar is trying to save me? Maker, what's next? Picnics on the seaside with mages?" he said sarcastically._

_Allison laughed. "That's right. You let that thought make your feet move right on to the door."_

_Even though it wasn't far their progress was slow._

_There was a rumble beneath their feet and a burst of heat knocked them down._

_A creature that looked like it was made of molten lava stood between them and the door._

_Anders groaned and tried to move in front of Allison. He put his hand out as if to fend the creature off._

_She saw him trying to gather his magic in their defense but nothing happened._

"_I can't. I'm too weak." he said. "Go, get out of here!"_

"_There's no way in __**hell**__ that I'm leaving you!" Allison dissented. "We all go home or none of us do."_

"_I can't fight it." Anders said painfully._

_The creature was circling them, knowing that they had no way to fight._

_Allison wished that she had a weapon, even her little dagger, but there was nothing around them except rocks and she was sure that throwing rocks at the demon wasn't going to have much of an impact._

_The creature made a move towards them and Allison covered Anders with her body, throwing up her hand up in front of them._

_There was a loud clang and the creature bellowed. Allison looked up and saw that strange translucent sword was in her hand. It looked like it wasn't completely real but she could feel the grip and the pommel in her hand._

_She looked around in confusion as to where it had come from and Justice caught her eye. The spirit nodded at her and she realized that it was a gift from him. That explained it's appearance because it had the same makeup as Justice._

_Taking lessons from all the movies she had watched, Allison stood up and held the sword in both hands._

"_No, Allison, don't fight it, run!" Anders urged her._

"_Be quiet, you're not helping and I have no idea what I'm doing." she muttered nervously._

_The demon slid to her right and then to her left and Allison tried to figure out what it was doing. It didn't speak like the others and its movements reminded her more of an animal than an aware individual with a mind._

_It watched her closely, shifting as she shifted._

_It came at her and Allison instinctively blocked the swipe of it's arm. The blow reverberated down the hilt of the sword though, bringing Allison down on one knee._

_She scrambled to get up again before the demon struck and felt the graze of heat sing along her bicep as the creature wounded her._

_The demon came at her again and again and all she could was block and fight to stay out of it's way. It sunk beneath the ground and Allison turned around in quick circles trying to anticipate where it would rise again._

_Too late, she heard the hiss as the demon appeared on her right side and knocked the sword out her hands._

_The next blow was to her face and while the blood poured Allison crawled across the ground desperately trying to reach her weapon._

_Her fingers closed on the grip as the demon slid in pursuit behind her._

"_Leave her alone!" Anders yelled and the monster took an interest in him for the first time, turning to glide towards him._

_Allison saw Anders preparing to die and nothing mattered anymore. It didn't matter that she was from another world. It didn't matter that she would never see home again. It didn't matter that this world was strange and dangerous and backwards._

_What mattered was the man steeling himself for an attack a few feet away._

_Allison lunged and shoved the blade of the sword into the demon's back._

_It screamed an unearthly sound, it's arms flailing about wildly._

_Allison ducked to avoid the blow as did Anders._

_It's mouth opened wide and it's body erupted into a pool of liquid fire before being absorbed back into the ground._

_Allison was frozen in shock for a moment before her brain kicked in and got her up._

_Adrenaline apparently worked in the Fade too because she was able to help Anders to his feet and they both hurried towards the door._

_She hesitated at the entryway, looking back at Justice._

_Anders read her mind. _

"_He'll be fine. Once I wake up he'll be back with me again."_

_Allison gave Justice one last look before she and Anders went through the door._

**Reality…**

Allison awoke shivering with voices all around her talking at once.

"Are you alright?"

"What the hell happened?"

"Who are you anyway!"

They were the voices of her friends.

Allison blinked several times to clear her vision and started at the sight of blood on the sheets.

"What the…?" she said.

Merrill breathed in relief.

"Oh! Thank the Creators you woke up." the elf cried. "Your friends came back and then you started twitching and then you started bleeding. Then the lady shemlen threatened to strangle me with my own entrails."

Allison waved a tired hand to settle everyone down.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Everybody calm down."

Her other hand was squeezed by someone and Allison turned to see Anders looking at her. His skin was deathly pale and cold now.

"Oh my god!" Allison cried. "Did you get the antidote?"

Cullen stepped forward. "We did but we found this Dalish woman here and you bleeding. We didn't know what was going on."

"Screw that! Give him the medicine!" Allison shrieked.

Varric brought a bowl over to the bed and Allison held Anders' hand while Merrill supported his head.

They all watched as the herbal mixture went down Anders' throat.

The room was dead silent except for the sound of Anders' breathing.

He closed his eyes and Allison felt his hand go slack in hers.

"Anders!" she stood up and peered into his face and then looked at Merrill.

The elf put a small hand on Anders' forehead and closed her eyes as well.

"He's in a deep sleep." she said. "All we can do is wait."

The hours passed and Allison imagined a life without Anders.

It would be empty and sallow, devoid of all warmth and joy. She didn't want it.

She watched every breath that went through his body and every pulse that beat at his throat until she felt like her own heart was beating in time with his.

When the new morning dawned Anders opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"You saved me." he said, brushing her cheek with his fingers which were now warm and steady.

Allison kissed his hand and held it in her own.

"It was my turn." she said with a grin though her lips trembled.

Standing at the door Varric put an arm around Isabela.

"See? Epic love story. I told you."

***Please forgive any errors. I stayed up all night to finish this chapter because I was determined to get it out to you.***


	37. Chapter 37 The Ties That Bind

***I am incorporating a tiny bit of the game here, but once again I've changed it and it won't play a huge role in the actual story but will come up at the end.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 37 – The Ties That Bind

Anders' recovery took a few days and Allison hovered over him constantly making sure that he wasn't exerting himself too fast, too soon.

"I'm fine Love, honestly." Anders said for what felt like the fiftieth time. "There are people waiting to get into the clinic and it's time to reopen."

Allison studied Anders' complexion, pleased to see him looking healthy. She wasn't sure that he was ready to treat patients though.

"I don't know…" she said doubtfully.

Anders took her hands in his and smiled down at her. He truly loved this woman with everything he had and he would never forget how she had saved his life in the Fade.

"As you love to point out, I'm a healer, it's who I am. I need to do my work." Anders explained patiently.

When Allison nibbled her lip in that way he loved, Anders bent down to kiss her until he felt her relax.

"Fine. Go forth and heal." Allison grumbled. "But don't overdo it or so help me I will have you back in that bed so fast…"

Anders grinned at her, his eyes twinkling.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to threaten me to get me into bed." he teased in a sexy voice.

Allison snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Alright, rein it in. You've got work to do and if you're going to be busy then I'm going to run some errands." Allison said, batting at the hand that was moving towards her butt.

Anders grabbed her elbow before she could leave, his once merry eyes now dark and somber.

"You shouldn't be out alone, not now, not until Alrik is caught." Anders said solemnly.

Allison placed her hand on his cheek, feeling that warm rush of gratitude that he was alive and with her.

"I'm going to Lirene's and then I'll see if Isabela's at the Hanged Man. If she's not then I'll come back home okay?"

Anders stared at her for a long moment before he released her.

"Please be careful. For me." he said quietly.

Allison reached on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his."I will, I promise."

Allison grabbed her backpack and waved once more before she left.

As Anders had stated there was a line of people waiting to be seen by him now that the news that he had recovered had made its way around town.

Allison knew that Anders would feel better back in his element and it gave her time to put some plans she'd been considering into motion.

Lirene was busy as usual but she took a small break to talk to Allison.

"How is Anders feeling?" Lirene asked.

Allison knew that the woman had been instrumental in helping Anders to set up his practice when he first came to Kirkwall.

"He's good. There hasn't been any residual issues from the poison." Allison replied.

"Good. That Alrik had better watch his back if any of _us_ sees him first." Lirene said darkly.

"Thank you. It meant a lot to see how much everyone cares for Anders." Allison told the woman.

Lirene looked a little surprised. "It's not just the Healer, we care for you too. You've been a big help to him and you've made him happy."

Allison flushed at comment and went on with her reason for visiting.

"I've actually been hoping to be more of a help to you and the refugees." she began.

Lirene waited for her to continue.

"I was wondering what you'd think of opening a soup kitchen?" Allison asked, feeling nervous that Lirene might say no.

"What's a soup kitchen?" Lirene asked, frowning at the unusual phrase.

Allison laughed. "Of course. Let me explain. Where I come from there are people who have an organized method for feeding the disadvantaged. They have volunteers come and they serve soup to those in need."

Lirene considered it.

"That's a lot of soup. Where would we get it?"

Allison smiled and pointed at herself.

"I'd make it. I thought that, if it was ok with you, I could use your kitchen. We could start with maybe two times a week at first to see how it goes? I could cook the soup here and we could serve it out front." Allison explained.

Lirene nodded as she spoke and Allison took courage from the fact that she hadn't told her to get lost yet.

"If the refugees knew that they could be fed at regular times, it might give them some hope." Allison concluded. "What do you think?"

Lirene smiled; a rare act. "I think it's a great idea. When can you start?"

Allison and Lirene worked out a schedule and Lirene said she would get word around while Allison gathered supplies for the coming week.

"Where are you going to get the money for all this?" Lirene asked worriedly.

"I think it'll be ok." Allison assured her. "After that weasel Umbar was kicked out of town, a new merchant took over buying and selling runes in the Gallows courtyard. I'll just pick up where I left off with him."

Once that was settled Allison headed for the Hanged Man with a spring in her step. She finally felt truly useful for once and it was nice.

She went upstairs and knocked on Isabela's door.

Isabela noticed Allison's happy demeanor and cocked a brow.

"Did you and Anders play the" Naughty Mage and the Big, Bad Templar" this morning?" the pirate taunted.

Allison stuck out her tongue at Isabela. "I don't kiss and tell." she said haughtily.

Isabela smirked. "If we get some Juniper Berries in you, you will."

Allison made a face and flopped on Isabela's bed.

"You're incorrigible you know that?"

Isabela grinned. "I know. It's why you love me."

"It's one of the reasons, true." Allison agreed and then became serious.

She got up and walked over to Isabela and to the pirate's embarrassed pleasure, put her arms around Isabela in a tight hug.

"Thank you _so_ much for helping Anders Isabela." Allison said earnestly. "You're my best friend. I hope you know that."

Isabela broke her own rule about displays of affection and returned Allison embrace for a moment.

"Alright, that's enough of that." Isabela said finally, pushing Allison away gently.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that under your magnificent chest lies a mushy, gentle heart." Allison teased.

Isabela threw a shoe at her and Allison ducked, giggling.

"I assume that you came here for some other reason than harassing me?" Isabela asked.

"I was wondering if you'd come with me to the Gallows?" Allison asked.

"What do you want to go there for?" Isabela inquired.

"I have something for Cullen and Anders would have a fit if I went there on my own after the last time." Allison explained.

"He's not the only one." Isabela said, a threat in her voice.

Allison put her hands up. "I know, I know! I wouldn't do that until Alrik's out of the picture. If you don't have time maybe we could go another day."

"No, now is fine. I could use a trip outside, I've been indoors too much." Isabela complained.

"Thanks Isabela."

Allison and Isabela stepped outside and Isabela locked the door behind her. Allison motioned towards Varric's room.

"Where is Varric anyway?" she asked.

Isabela rolled her eyes. "He's with his useless brother."

"Bartrand? Wow, he never talks about him. What's the deal?" Allison asked.

"Oh the fool has some scheme to make them rich as usual. He claims he found some artifact and now he wants Varric to use his contacts to sell it." Isabela said in disgust.

"I take it you think that it's a piece of crap?" Allison observed.

"That's putting it nicely." Isabela retorted. "It's a hideously ugly little statue that no one in their right mind would want."

"Well if anyone could sell a hideously ugly statue, it's Varric. " Allison said with a smile.

They made their way to the Gallows and Allison asked the guards at the gate if Cullen was available.

She couldn't figure out why the two men were giving Isabela such strange looks but eventually they were taken up to Cullen's office.

Allison paused outside his door.

"Isabela would you mind waiting out here while I talk to him?" Allison asked.

Isabela shrugged. "No problem. There are plenty of pretty young men to talk to."

Allison hesitated at the look in Isabela's eyes and put a restraining hand on her friend's arm.

"Please, _try_ to control yourself." Allison pleaded.

Isabela just licked her lips.

Allison stepped inside Cullen's office and it was as efficient and warm as the man himself.

Cullen stood hastily when Allison entered the room and came around his desk to greet her. He took her hand and bowed over it.

"Allison! It is very good to see you." Cullen said sincerely. "How is Anders?"

"He's fine Cullen, thank you." Allison felt shy and hoped that Cullen would like his gift.

"What can I do for you?" Cullen asked, gesturing towards a chair.

Allison sat down and reached inside her backpack.

"I have something for you, if you don't mind that is." she said and took out a necklace made of chainmail.

Cullen's eyes widened in surprise. "That's for me?" he asked.

Allison got up and pushed Cullen towards the chair instead. When he sat she put the necklace on him and stood back to admire it.

"Perfect." she said.

Cullen studied the rune stone that was affixed as a pendant, tracing the symbol with his finger.

"What does it do?" he asked curiously.

Allison smiled. "I call it a Blessing because in a practical way it provides a shield against enchanted weapons but I also threw in the Tevinter symbol for happiness which doesn't really _do_ anything but it's my wish for you."

Cullen was overcome for a moment and couldn't speak.

"Do you like it?" Allison asked nervously.

Cullen stood, cleared his throat and smiled. "No one has ever given me a gift that I will cherish more." he said finally.

Allison's expression became unsure and Cullen watched, concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Allison took a cautious step towards him. "I just…I know that our relationship has been kind of…complicated at times, but I really care about you Cullen and I just wish that we could be in each other's lives somehow without…" she let the sentence drop.

Cullen tilted her chin up. "I care for you as well, and I know that I've made things _"complicated"_, as you put it. But after all that's happened these last few weeks, I realized how much I value our friendship and I am content to leave it at that. I'd like to be in your life as well."

Allison grinned and threw her arms around the Templar who chuckled and hugged her back.

Cullen smiled warmly and it wasn't awkward which made Allison grateful.

"Thank you for saving Anders, Cullen. I can never repay you for that, no matter how long I live." Allison acknowledged.

Cullen shook his head. "Nonsense. Alrik hurt you and he hurt Anders. He's dirtied the name of the Templars and it's my duty to put it right."

Cullen hesitated before continuing in a wry tone. "And I must admit that Anders is not completely wrong about the deficiencies in the way the Circle operates. It's strange because I hated him when we were in Ferelden but he's so different now. He has a purpose in healing others and it's an honorable one."

Allison pretended to be horrified, putting a hand over her heart and gasping.

"Watch out Cullen. You sound positively _reasonable_!" she said with a shudder.

Cullen threw back his head and laughed. "Don't tell anyone."

"I promise." Allison said with mock seriousness.

Cullen saw her out to the gates once more and Allison waited around for half an hour before Isabela showed up again looking very satisfied.

Allison studied Isabela's tousled appearance. "You look like the cat that ate the canary." she commented.

Isabela grinned. "Well there _was _some eating involved…"

Allison plugged her ears. "La la la. No, I don't want to hear it."

Isabela shoved her playfully and Allison laughed.

"I can't take you anywhere."


	38. Chapter 38 Fireworks

***The song I quote in here wasn't planned, it was just something floating in my head when I wrote this chapter, which means that it was in Allison's head too.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 38 – Fireworks

Anders watched Allison sleep as the moonlight spilled over her hair. Her face was peaceful and relaxed. He placed his right hand on the side of her face, careful not to wake her. He just wanted to touch her for a moment, for his own sake.

Fate or the Maker or the Creators or whoever it was, had decided that he had been alone long enough and had given him the greatest gift he could have asked for. Allison was everything he had ever wanted and everything he hadn't thought to ask for.

Anders knew what he wanted but he wasn't sure that Allison would ever truly be happy in Thedas. Cullen's remarks when they had first met again still echoed in Anders mind, prickling his conscience.

Did he have the right to ask Allison to stay with him? He was a fugitive and he could never give her what she deserved.

She deserved a real home and a family. Anders pulled his hand back and stared up at the ceiling. The unfairness of the situation made Anders' chest feel tight.

All he had wanted was to escape the Circle and be free. He'd been forced to join the Wardens to keep the Templars from taking him back and he had paid a dear price for a modicum of freedom.

The taint had stolen his future.

True, it seemed that Justice's presence was preventing the taint from killing Anders slowly but there were things that he wanted that he could never have. Like children.

And if Allison joined herself to him, she would be robbed of that gift as well.

Anders felt a deep sadness take hold of him and shut his eyes trying to make sleep come so he could escape it.

He wanted Allison to be with him for the rest of their lives but he didn't feel right asking her to give up her own future.

Next to him Allison shifted restlessly and then settled down once again. Anders turned and pulled her close to him, burying his face in her hair.

He could offer her nothing but himself and he wasn't sure that was enough.

**...**

At the Hanged Man Anders sat at a beaten up table with Varric, staring at the playing cards in his hand indifferently.

It was late in the day and Anders had stopped by to collect his payment from a job he and Varric had done. The dwarf had talked him into playing a short game before going home.

"So I had a threesome with a troll, a Templar and the Grand Cleric the other night." Varric said conversationally, watching Anders' distant face.

"That's nice Varric." Anders replied apathetically.

"Mmhm." Varric hummed. "So Blondie, what's got your ponytail in a twist today?"

Anders looked startled and then sheepish. "I'm sorry Varric. I'm just…distracted."

Varric feigned a look of astonishment. "You don't say? So what's going on in that head of yours?"

Anders put the cards down on the table and looked around the less than immaculate surroundings.

Waving a hand around them, Anders' expression was irritated.

"It's this." he said gesturing at the tavern. "_All_ of it. How can you ask someone to live here?"

Varric was completely confused. "You want someone to live here?"

Anders scowled. "No, not _here_! I mean this place, this city. How can I do that?"

"Blondie you lost me. What are you talking about?" Varric asked in exasperation.

Anders glared angrily at the table which seemed to mock him with its battered appearance.

"I have nothing to give her." Anders said quietly and Varric finally understood.

"Ah, you're talking about Allison." Varric said, nodding. "What is it she wants? I'm sure we can find it."

"That's just the problem. It's not in my power to give it to her." Anders said irately.

Varric waved him off. "Nonsense. Just tell me and we'll figure it out."

Anders gave a Varric a hard look. "Can you give her a home? A real one? Can you fix me so that I can give her children? Can you change the world so that I'm no longer an apostate?"

Varric opened and then closed his mouth, unsure of what to say. Anders glared at him and then stared down at the table once more.

"That's what I thought." Anders said bitterly.

Varric took his time in speaking. "I uh, take it you've been doing some thinking and you want to make an honest woman out of our girl?"

Anders made a sound of disgust. "She is an honest woman. She's the best woman I've ever known. It's impossible."

Varric tilted back in his chair. "Don't say that. You'll ruin my epic love story. Has Allison said that she wants any of that?"

Anders snorted in derision. "She doesn't have to. Look at where we live! Who would want to make that their home?"

"You seem to live there quite happily." Varric commented.

Anders gritted his teeth. "She deserves better than that! She deserves better than what I can give her."

Varric felt his own annoyance rising and it came through in his tone. "Maybe you should stop presuming to decide what Allison wants or deserves and just _ask_ her!"

Anders blinked at Varric's words. "I can't just _ask_ her. She…what if she said yes out of some sense of obligation or fear that I would turn her out if she said no?"

Varric gawked at Anders before he was able to gather his wits enough to reply. "Do you know how stupid you sound?"

Anders bristled at the rebuke. "It's not stupid. She's trapped here. She may be afraid of what could happen to her."

The legs on Varric's chair hit the ground hard as he sat back up. He stood up and grabbed the collar of Anders' robes, making the mage's eyes widen in shock.

"Now you listen to me Anders." Varric said menacingly. "I didn't just watch that girl go through hell to save your life so you could sit here and say idiotic things that belittle her and her feelings for you. She loves you, obviously more than you deserve and you should respect her enough to let her make her own decisions."

Varric shoved Anders back a bit before taking his seat again. Anders straightened his collar, his cheeks red with consternation.

The two men were silent for a long while before Anders spoke.

"You're right Varric. Allison isn't shallow enough to accept me just because she has nowhere else to go. It's just…" Anders stopped.

"It's just that you love her and you want to provide for her." Varric finished.

"Yes." Anders agreed. "She's the most incredible person I've ever met and I just want to make her happy."

Varric smirked. "Well, I take issue with your statement that she's the most incredible person you've _ever_ met, considering that you know _me_, but, I understand the sentiment. You should consider the possibility that just being with you is enough to make her happy."

Anders quietly reflected on Varric's words.

Could that really be enough?

Varric let Anders think and gestured for another pitcher of ale while he waited.

Anders finally looked up and his face was a little less stressed.

"Feel better?" Varric asked.

"A bit, yes." Anders replied. "Sorry that I was an idiot."

"So, how are you going to do it?" Varric asked

"Do what?" Anders asked blankly.

Varric rolled his eyes and asked the Maker for strength. "Ask her to marry you of course."

At the word "marry" Anders felt his heartbeat speed up and his hands go clammy. But that was what he wanted.

"I don't know. Can't I just ask her?" Anders said.

Varric shook his head. "Do you at least have a betrothal offering?"

"Um, no." Anders admitted and at Varric's look became defensive. "It's not like I've ever done this before or thought that I would! Besides what kind of offering would I make?"

In Thedas, different cultures and regions used various gifts for betrothals. Some used bracelets, others used jeweled piercings. In some areas gifts of cattle or food were given. In the ancient times sacrifices had been offered to the Maker to ask for his approval on a union before the offer of marriage was made.

"What do they do in the Anderfels?" Varric inquired.

The question made Anders go still as his memory took him back to his childhood.

He remembered his mother singing him to sleep when he was little. She would get a faraway look in her eyes as she sang and Anders remembered that she would unconsciously grasp the pendant that hung around her neck.

It had been hung on thinly braided goat hair but Anders remembered that it shone with a dark red color. When he had asked his mother about it her face had fallen a bit and she had told him that it had been a gift from his father when he asked for her hand. She had told him that they had been young then and his father had still loved her.

Anders snapped out of it and the memory faded leaving a hint of sorrow behind. Varric noticed it but let Anders keep the reason to himself.

"My mother had a necklace of sorts. I don't know if that's what the Anderfels do but it was lovely." Anders said solemnly. "I think I'd like to honor that."

Varric nodded. "Do you have anything in mind?"

Anders looked bewildered. "Um, no."

"What would you do without me?" Varric said, getting to his feet. "Follow me."

Varric went into his room and pulled a small trunk form under his bed. Taking a key out of pocket he unlocked and it began sifting through the contents. Varric grinned when he found what he was looking for.

He tossed the item to Anders, who caught it in the air.

Anders opened his fist and saw an intricately twisted gold necklace. On it hung a flashing blue sapphire the size of a man's thumb, that seemed to glow with an inner light.

"Varric…what is this?" Anders breathed.

"It was my mother's." Varric replied, coming to stand next to Anders. "It's one of the few things I managed to get from my relatives in Orzammar. Dwarven ruins are filled with gems so don't be too impressed."

Anders shook his head and pushed the necklace back towards Varric. "I…I can't take this Varric, it's too much."

Varric frowned. "Don't insult me. We've been friends for a _long_ time and that means something to me. Let me do this."

"What if you decide to get married yourself someday? You'll need this." Anders argued.

Varric laughed. "First off, I never said that I was the marrying kind. Second, who said that I gave you the cream of my collection?"

Anders laughed and stared down at the flawless jewel. He could see it hanging around Allison's neck; telling the world that she had accepted him. That with all of his faults and complications, she still loved him and wanted to be with him. Anders had to admit that there was a certain male satisfaction in that idea even though Allison would smack him if he ever said so.

At the dreamy look on Anders' face Varric smiled and slapped the mage's back.

"Congratulations my friend." Varric said.

"She has to say yes first Varric." Anders said nervously.

"She's a smart girl. She will." Varric assured him. "Go get her."

Anders placed the necklace in his pouch and made his way home, his head spinning with anxiety and questions. And it wasn't just _his_ anxiety. Justice was quite out of sorts at the prospect of asking Allison to stay with them, and the spirit was worried that she wouldn't want to make that promise.

How was he supposed to _do_ this?

"_Hello my darling, how are you? Would you marry me?"_

"_This necklace is pretty isn't it? Would you wear it in symbol of our eternal commitment?"_

"_Hi. How would you feel about living here with me forever?"_

Anders winced at his lack of creativity. He was better at writing, so perhaps he could write her a letter.

_No that's just stupid_, Anders thought.

Justice offered up a memory of Kristoff asking his wife Aura to marry him.

Kristoff had been from Amaranthine and had simple roots. Aura had been from Orlais which was a very different place. Kristoff had spent months gathering a dowry of Orlesian silks and satins before asking for her hand.

Anders didn't think that Kristoff's example would be of much help. Allison wasn't like that. She preferred honesty and hated playing games. She liked to know where she stood with a person and Anders found that refreshing. She was one for straight talk and perhaps that was the way to go. Anders could simply lay out the reasons he wanted to marry her and she could either accept or refuse.

"**You speak as if this is a business contract Anders."** Justice commented.

"You're right. That's not the way at all." Anders agreed, feeling his stomach drop to his feet as he approached the clinic door.

He had _no_ idea what he was going to say.

Anders closed the door behind him and turned when he heard singing and splashing coming from the bedroom.

He was already smiling before he saw her, but the sight of Allison sitting in perfumed water with her head resting against the back of the tub, her feet moving back and forth in the water while she sang some song that Anders had never heard had him grinning widely as he leaned against the doorjamb.

"_You don't have to feel like a waste of space  
>You're original, cannot be replaced<br>If you only knew what the future holds  
>After a hurricane comes a rainbow<em>

_Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed  
>So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road<br>Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow  
>And when it's time, you'll know<em>

_You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine  
>Just own the night like the 4th of July<em>

_'Cause baby you're a firework  
>Come on, show 'em what you're worth<br>Make 'em go, oh, oh, oh  
>As you shoot across the sky"<em>

Allison opened her eyes and squealed before flushing from embarrassment.

"Anders! You scared the daylights out of me. What are you doing just standing there?" she asked, wanting to sink beneath the water.

Anders sauntered over suddenly feeling very light and happy as he knelt next to the tub.

"I'm sorry, but it was so entertaining." he teased.

Allison stuck her tongue out at him.

"What were you singing?" he asked, folding his arms on the edge of the tub and resting his head there.

"Just a song from my world." Allison replied. "It's about not getting in your own way and just being yourself."

"Hmmm, how fitting." Anders murmured to himself.

"Huh?" Allison said.

"Nothing." Anders replied.

He looked into her eyes, feeling himself beginning to drown in the depths there. Allison seemed to sense that something was going on because she became very still and just watched him.

"I've never known anyone like you." Anders said softly. "And it's not just because you're from another world. You have the kindest heart, the purest soul I've ever seen."

He reached for her then, cupping her face in his right hand. She leaned into his hand and smiled, her face showing that she still wasn't sure what he was up to but she let him speak.

"I love you so much Allison. It terrifies me how much I love you, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't know if you can understand how much it means to me to have you in my life after everything that's happened." he continued. "I was never supposed to have this life, this freedom and I was never supposed to have you."

Allison opened her mouth to speak but Anders shushed her.

"Let me finish." he said.

Allison frowned slightly but remained quiet.

"I know that our life isn't ideal or easy. I can't give you everything that I would wish to." Anders admitted.

He loved the fire that leapt into her eyes at his statement and he could hear a million arguments that she would give him about not being ashamed of his life.

Anders smiled and kissed her lips which were pressed together in anger.

"I know. It doesn't matter to you." he acknowledged. "Someone had to remind me of that today."

Anders leaned forward and took her face in both of his hands now.

"I can't imagine my life without what I'm holding between my hands right now." Anders' voice shook and his heart was threatening to fly out of his chest.

"I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life, if you'll have me?"

Anders wished that he could freeze that moment in time because the look on Allison's face was priceless. Even though she held his future in her hands, he could still find humor in the way her mouth fell open and her eyes blinked slowly several times as if she wasn't sure that he was real.

Allison felt like the breath had knocked from her body. The water was warm but she felt cold first before warmth travelled through her blood again.

"Did…you just…ask me to marry you?" Allison stammered.

It didn't matter that she was sitting naked in a tub. Her life was about to change.

"I did." Anders confirmed. "You might want to try breathing Love."

Allison followed his advice and took a deep breath, then a few more, which helped to clear the dizziness from her head.

"You want to marry me?" she repeated, sure that she must be imagining things.

"Yes. I want to marry you." Anders said, torn between laughing and wanting to shake her so she'd give him answer.

"Is marriage the same here? You know: flowers, a dress, _forever_ and all that?" Allison asked.

"Well, we don't have to do the flowers and dresses, but the forever part, yes." Anders replied.

Allison made a strangling sound before swallowing.

Anders was waiting for her to answer him.

Allison stared into amber eyes. Anders' existence had become inextricably connected to her happiness. The warm mouth that had kissed her countless times. The strong arms that had held her at night. The good and decent heart of a man who would use the forces of nature and the beyond to protect her.

How had she believed that her life had been enough before she met him? It seemed ridiculous now. There could be no Allison without Anders. Not anymore.

A smile stretched across her face as she rose on her knees in the tub and wrapped her arms around Anders' neck. She brushed her nose against his.

"I like forever." she said tightening her hold on him. "And I will _absolutely_ marry you."

Anders actually sagged with relief and Allison laughed.

"Sorry about that, I just had to make sure I heard you right." she said as she patted his back.

"I think I aged five years while I waited for you to say something." Anders said feeling rather giddy.

He sobered though as he reached into his pouch, his hand curling around the necklace.

"I…have something for you. A betrothal offering." Anders explained.

Allison inhaled as Anders held up a delicate gold necklace that couldn't possibly have a sapphire hanging from it.

"I…that…it's…oh my God!" Allison finally got out. "Is that _real_!"

Anders nodded. "Do you like it?"

Allison put a hand over her heart. "It's beautiful. I can't believe it! Where did you get it?"

Anders smiled. "Varric was all too happy to part with it. I'm sure it will end up in his story."

Allison laughed and Anders stood up to fasten the clasp around her neck.

The gem softly reflected the light from the lanterns and Allison was overwhelmed by the meaning of the gift.

She stood up, not caring that she was wet, and threw her arms around Anders before kissing the breath out of him.

Anders lifted her out of the tub, his mouth moving more urgently against hers.

Their minds were so clouded by emotion that they simply stumbled to the bed and fell into it.

Anders hastily discarded his robe and then his breeches and shirt. Allison's skin was wet and soft and he wanted to taste every inch of her. She was his.

Allison felt as if time were moving too slowly. She needed Anders in a way that was almost frenzied. Her head swam and her heart pounded out a disjointed rhythm until he came to her and everything felt right again.

There was a new urgency that rode their senses; the knowledge that they were to be bound together in this life and the next.

Heated skin met. Breathless pledges and promises were whispered. Gasps and cries echoed in the night. They each gave what the other needed as their bodies moved in unison, until the heat that quivered and coiled inside finally swelled and broke like a tide.

Anders lay shaking in the aftermath, and pressed a kiss to Allison's chest, next to the sapphire that lay between her breasts.

"I promise to make you happy." he whispered.

Allison's pulse finally returned to normal. "You already make me happy." she said. "I'm glad I came here, to you. I wouldn't change anything."

Allison reversed their positions and put her head on Anders' chest so she could hear his heartbeat.

This was right.

This was where she was supposed to be.


	39. Chapter 39 Fellowship of the Ring

***The story is moving towards the end. There's still lots more to write but it's winding down as far as plot goes. Thank you all for the reviews. I read every single one and you have no idea how much they mean to me. Please keep them up.**

**I also wanted to thank Jess-Anne for all the reviews and encouragement since she doesn't have an account I can't reply to any of her reviews personally so I decided to say it here. Also to answer the question from Djbrock: Merrill is with her clan. Sandal went outside of Kirkwall to visit the Dalish and bring Merrill back.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 39 – Fellowship Of The Ring

"You know, I could perform the ceremony. I am a captain after all." Isabela said after downing a shot of whiskey.

Allison gallantly tried to control her facial expression at that statement.

"Uh…no, that's okay Isabela." she replied trying to hide the horror Isabela's offer had caused.

The two women were whiling away the afternoon at the Hanged Man while Anders was with Varric trying to deal with the dwarf's scoundrel of a brother.

Allison could just imagine how a wedding ceremony officiated by Isabela would go. She cringed internally thinking of all the ways Isabela could make their vows about nudity and sex just to make her and Anders squirm.

Isabela smirked knowingly at her. "The idea absolutely terrifies you."

Allison opened her mouth to disagree but the woman saw through her so she beamed an innocent smile instead.

"Actually you _can't _perform the wedding because you have to be by my side as Maid of Honor." Allison said smugly.

She had the great pleasure of watching a myriad of emotions cross Isabela's face, from shock to nervousness to happiness.

"You want me to be your Bride's Companion?" Isabela asked, her cheeks pink from a blush that Allison had _never _seen before.

"If that's what a Maid of Honor is called here, then yes." Allison confirmed.

"Well…" Isabela fidgeted for a moment and Allison thoroughly enjoyed watching this side of her friend.

"I have no idea how weddings are done in Thedas though." Allison added.

Isabela shrugged. "It depends on where the couple is from and if they're rich or poor." Isabela studied Allison's appearance.

"One thing we have to do is get you in a dress." Isabela announced.

Allison winced. "I'm not exactly into the dresses I've seen here. All that Orlesian stuff…"

"How much gold have you hoarded selling your runes?" Isabela asked.

"Quite a bit actually but I don't want to blow it all on something I'll never wear again." Allison replied.

"We won't, but it will give us something to work with." Isabela said. "There's a store in Hightown that has fabrics from all over. We'll go there and see if we can find something you like. _Or_ you could do what the Rivaini do and get married naked covered in tribal paint." Isabela grinned at the image.

"You'd love that, but no thanks." Allison said with a laugh. "I _do_ need to get Anders a ring though."

Allison palmed the sapphire that hung around her neck; a permanent reminder that she was loved by a good man.

"A ring?" Isabela repeated

"Mmhm, where I come from, marriage is symbolized by rings." Allison explained. "Usually the man wears a simple gold band but I'd like to get Anders something more than that without him looking like a pimp."

"A what?" Isabela tilted her head in confusion.

Allison cracked up. "Never mind. Let's just say I don't want anything gaudy."

"Ah, I see. Well obviously there are jewelry merchants everywhere." Isabela commented.

"Yea, I should be able to find something nice." Allison agreed.

"When is this joyous event taking place anyway?" Isabela inquired.

"I don't know. We haven't set an exact date yet but I think Anders wants it to be soon." Allison said.

"And are you going to continue living at the clinic?" Isabela asked.

The question stopped Allison short. She hadn't thought about it.

"Why wouldn't we?" she asked.

Isabela made a face. "I don't know. It's a clinic. With _sick_ people. I just thought you might want someplace away from all that."

Allison thought about it for a moment.

"I wouldn't want Anders to feel bad; like the clinic wasn't good enough for me or something." Allison said, dismissing the idea.

Isabela watched her with too much knowledge in her eyes. She pointed a finger at Allison.

"Don't give me that weak excuse." Isabela argued. "I _know_ you. You want a real kitchen more than anything and don't say otherwise."

Allison sighed at the thought of having her own kitchen.

"That would be nice." she admitted. "But Anders needs to be close to his patients."

"Has he lost the use of his legs recently?" Isabela said mockingly.

Allison stuck her tongue out. "No, Miss Smartass, he hasn't. Fine, I get your point."

Isabela leaned back, satisfied. "If you want to spend your gold on something, we should find you a little house."

Allison looked doubtful. "With all the refugees, I thought the housing was gone."

"The refugees don't have any _money_ dear. That's what stops them from buying property." Isabela said in a patronizing tone.

Allison put a hand up. "Wait a second." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Anders is an apostate. They're not just going to let us buy a house around regular people."

Isabela brushed off her concerns. "Anders is also a Gray Warden and that take precedence over everything else. They won't touch him and the neighbors will gossip. End of problem."

"Huh." Allison also sat back and considered this turn of events. She realized that the idea of them having a house of their own was very attractive. She'd have to talk to Anders about it.

Isabela read her mind again. "Why don't we find a place first before you bring it up?" Isabela suggested. "Knowing Anders he'll find all sorts of reasons why it's not feasible but if we've already found a place then you can make a better argument."

"Alright, I'll wait. "Allison agreed. "Do you want to take a walk to Hightown so I can look at rings?"

"Yes. The whiskey is weak today anyway." Isabela complained.

The two friends meandered through various shops but none of them had anything that drew Allison's eye.

"Nothing's right." Allison said in frustration. "And there's no internet so I can't order anything either!"

Isabela sighed. "There you go again, using words no one understands. Patience. We'll find a ring."

Allison wanted to kick something but instead she noticed a young boy watching them. When he saw her looking at him he smiled shyly and waved her over.

Allison tugged Isabela with her. The little boy had blond hair and strange eyes that seemed a little vacant. He wore short pants that went to his knees but he was clean and well kempt.

"Hi." she greeted. "Did you need something?"

The boy shook his head and pointed at her.

"Is he mute?" Isabela asked and Allison elbowed her.

"Don't be rude." Allison chided.

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure he doesn't _know_ he's mute so we'd better keep it from him."

The boy actually grinned at Isabela's droll comment. He took Allison's hand and began pulling her along with him.

Isabela followed, sighing heavily again.

"What is it with you attracting children who have strange ways of communicating?" Isabela asked.

"Stop it! I think he's just trying to help." Allison scolded.

They went to a lower part of the city that Allison wasn't familiar with.

"Do you know where we're going Isabela?" Allison asked, looking around and finding no other people.

Isabela was puzzled as well.

"Last time I was down here this whole area was abandoned." Isabela said. "And this path just leads to a dead end."

They rounded a corner and stopped when they came upon a strange building with two heavy double doors.

"Okay…I _know_ this was a dead end." Isabela asserted.

The boy opened the doors and pulled Allison inside.

The interior of the building had to be the strangest thing Allison had ever seen.

It was quite large inside with the high ceilings that were common in Kirkwall but it looked like there were pipes travelling all over the building and the supports were crisscrossed in strange ways.

The boy ran inside and went to stand on the left. He didn't look at them anymore and you would think that he hadn't brought them there.

"What the hell is this place?" Isabela whispered; the atmosphere making her more quiet than usual.

"I have no idea." Allison whispered back.

They walked side-by-side until Allison gasped and stumbled back. Her skin tingled and goose bumps crept over her arm.

She had come upon a great hulking statue that looked like the Thing from the Fantastic Four.

Blue light appeared in some of the cracks in the statue and it reminded her of Justice. Allison heard the strange song of lyrium and resisted the urge to reach out at touch it.

"It's a golem." Isabela explained, walking around to examine it.

"A what?" Allison asked, keeping her distance. She knew that the lyrium was affecting her.

"They were dwarves once." Isabela said, a little sadness coloring her tone.

"This was a _person_?" Allison asked, horrified.

"Yes. During one of the Blights the dwarves figured out how to make soldiers that were practically invulnerable." Isabela explained. "They would put a person inside this armor and then pour hot lyrium inside it. Somehow the consciousness of the individual was transferred and the golem came to life."

Allison felt ill. "That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard."

"**I quite enjoy this body**." A voice boomed, making Isabela and Allison both yelp. **"Do not feel sorry for me."**

Allison stumbled backwards, almost falling on her butt.

"Did that thing just talk!" she shrieked.

Isabela recovered a lot faster. "Now _you're_ being rude." Isabela returned. "It's alive apparently."

"**I am not an it. I am the servant of Xenon.**" The golem replied. "**Welcome to the Black Emporium.**"

There was the sound of a long sigh that floated in the air and seemed to reverberate around them.

"Who are you talking to Thaddeus?" a weak voice said out of nowhere. "Do I have customers?"

Allison crept closer to where the sound was coming from.

In the center of the room, a wide shaft of light illuminated a circular space surrounded by old books, bottles and melted candles.

Inside the circle was a tall backed chair in which the most macabre skeleton sat.

Allison gave Isabela a wide-eyed look. "That skeleton looks a little…meaty, doesn't it?"

Isabela studied it. "Yes, and it doesn't look like he died happy either." Isabela noted, taking in the skeleton's hands raised to its face like it died in agony.

"And why does it have multiple limbs!" Allison hissed.

"My name is Xenon, and if you were almost four hundred years old, you'd be lucky to look as good as I do." the wispy voice said.

Isabela swore and backed away, drawing her weapons.

Allison stood dumbly, gaping at the monstrosity when she realized that it was the one speaking.

"Hello?" she said in a small voice feeling ridiculous.

"Yes, yes. Are you here to buy?" the body asked brusquely.

"Um…I don't know." Allison backed away from the skeleton a bit. Magical world or not, dead bodies should not talk!

"It's rude to stare." Xenon said, his voice his voice a part of the air itself.

"The little boy brought us." Allison replied. The situation felt completely surreal and she almost pinched herself to make sure that she wasn't having a bad dream.

"Yes, well he's not for sale. If he brought you it's because you have something that may be of use to me." Xenon said.

"I don't want to buy him." Allison said weakly. Her mind was trying to figure out how a person had ended up like this and why. "And what could I have that you need?"

A small breeze blew around Allison and made her shudder.

"Hmmm." Xenon sounded more alert now. "You are not from this world I see."

"How did you…?" Allison didn't know how he'd figured that out.

"I know many things." Xenon interrupted. "And now I know why you are here. May I suggest a trade?"

Allison folded her arms while Isabela came to stand by her side.

"Watch it." Isabela said in a low tone.

"She has nothing to fear from me." Xenon said. "I merely wish to have a strand of her hair."

"My hair?" Allison asked. "What for?"

There was a long, hollow sigh that sounded like bones crumbling.

"I made a deal long ago and did not realize that witches have a vicious sense of humor." Xenon explained. "I asked for eternal life but not for eternal youth. I search now for a remedy to my malady."

"And my hair comes into play how?" Allison asked

"It may not." Xenon said sadly. "But you are stranger to this world. Your makeup is altered from the humans here. Perhaps there will an element that I can use to reverse my pitiful state."

Allison looked questioningly at Isabela who shrugged and looked uncertain.

"You said something about a trade?" Allison asked.

"Yes. You are looking for a special ring for the man you intend to marry." Xenon replied. "He is a mage, yes?"

"How are you _doing_ that?" Allison asked, feeling very uncomfortable knowing that the creature could read her mind.

"You don't listen very well do you?" Xenon said condescendingly. "In the area behind me there is a coffin standing up. By the coffin there is a dresser. Look inside the bottom drawer and you will find what you are looking for."

Allison peered around Xenon's chair and saw what looked like a medieval iron maiden. As he'd said there was a dresser lying crookedly beside it.

Allison walked over, giving the iron maiden a wide berth and opened the bottom drawer in the dresser. Isabela stayed on alert in case it was a trick but nothing jumped out at them.

Allison again felt the hum of lyrium.

There was only one item in the drawer; a small velvet drawstring bag. When Allison opened the bag and tipped it over a sparkling gold ring landed in her hand.

"Maker!" Isabela exclaimed.

The ring was set with ten, square-cut blue gems. They were the same color as the sapphire around her neck but that's where the similarities ended.

The ring glowed and it seemed as if thin smoke was swirling around it. It was exceptionally beautiful.

"It must be made with lyrium." Allison said. "I can feel it."

"Very good." Xenon approved. "It's called the memory Band. The ring is infused with raw lyrium. It gives the gems the appearance of light but the lyrium is inert. It won't affect your mage."

The smoke faded away and the ring continued to hum in Allison's hand.

"I can have this in exchange for a strand of my hair?" she asked.

"Indeed and you would be getting the better side of the bargain as your hair may yield no results." Xenon complained.

"Deal." Allison agreed.

She put the ring back in the bag and tied the strings. Then she plucked out a strand of her hair.

"Give it to the boy. He will run my experiments." Xenon instructed.

Allison laid the strand in the boy's upturned palm but he didn't react in any way.

"Let's get the hell out of here." Isabela urged.

"Yea." Allison agreed. "Um…thanks Xenon?"

"Yes, yes." Xenon moaned. "Now go away and leave me in peace."

Allison and Isabela hurried out and they could hear Xenon ordering the boy to get started on the tests.

The heavy doors slammed shut behind them and when they turned to look, the street was once more a dead end. The building was gone.

"Next time a strange urchin tries to take us somewhere we decline. Okay?" Isabela said pulling Allison with her. "I think I'll go back to my whiskey, no matter how weak it is."

"After that, I wish _I_ drank." Allison lamented. "I'll be dreaming about dwarven golems and creepy skeletons for the next week!"

"Don't remind me." Isabela said in disgust. "It's never dull with you around is it?"

"Yea, I've noticed that." Allison said wryly. "I was never this interesting back home."

"You weren't a lot of things where you come from. You can make runes, you've been kidnapped, had a Templar fall in love with you, battled demons in the Fade and now, you're engaged." Isabela summed up.

Allison felt exhausted just listening to the list.

"It has to calm down sometime right?" Allison said hopefully.

"Sure. Just as soon as we kill the evil renegade Templar intent on killing you and Anders." Isabela said.

"Right. Kill Templar, find a house, get married and then happily ever after." Allison said sarcastically.

"You wouldn't want life to be boring would you?" Isabela teased.

"Heaven forbid." Allison said dryly.

"You're too tense." Isabela observed. "Let's go to the Blooming Rose and get massages."

"A massage at a whorehouse is never just a massage." Allison replied.

"We'll tell them that we don't want the special." Isabela said. "Well…we'll tell them that _you_ don't want the special." she added mischievously.

Allison groaned. "Just put my room far away from yours. I've had enough disturbing images for one day."

Isabela stuck her tongue out. "Spoilsport."

***Note: this was just a bit of fun with the Black Emporium. There isn't going to be any more on what Xenon does with Allison's hair. You can imagine what you like though.**

**Also: The Memory Band is a real ring from DA: Origins. You can find it on the Dragon Age Wiki.***


	40. Chapter 40 Puppetmaster

***Note: several chapters may be incoming in quick succession so please make sure to check the chapter numbers before you start reading.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 40 – Puppetmaster

Ser Alrik sat in the pale light affording to him by the moonlight streaming through the cracks in the cave's rocky ceiling. He was tired of his exile but he knew that it would be ended soon. Soon, the apostate mage would be his and the traitors who had hidden him would lie broken before Alrik and his Templars.

Alrik especially looked forward to having the girl in his custody again. Breaking her would be a pleasure that had been postponed for far too long.

Ser Alrik smiled in satisfaction. There had been setbacks but he knew that his faith was merely being tested. Andraste had allowed him to be defeated so he could learn patience and he had. His will had been strengthened and now he could see why she had allowed the girl to escape. It was so that Alrik could find his greatest weapon.

The apostate was an abomination but he could also be used. Alrik had sent spies to find out about the mage who had killed his men and what he had learned had made Alrik's blood flow in excitement.

A mage who had a spirit of the fade living inside him. Why one of the Maker's first children would ever reside inside a filthy mage Alrik did not know, but the usefulness of the apostate had not escaped Alrik's notice. None of his other pets had the kind of power that could be harnessed once Alrik had his collar around the mage's neck.

Cullen had stumbled into situation but the man was weak and prey to his own emotions. Cullen believed that Alrik had lost all of his men but that was not true. The division inside the Circle went further than Cullen knew and Alrik had already replaced all of his dead soldiers.

Alrik would take vengeance on the mage's compatriots and then he would march into the Gallows and deal with the Knight-Captain personally.

For now he would delight himself with imaginings of screams and begging as the apostate's companions were brought down before him.

Alrik closed his eyes and let the pictures form in his mind. The pieces were in place. The stage was set. Andraste's pure followers would recapture her glory and Thedas itself would be altered forever.


	41. Chapter 41 Setup

***Just repeating the note to make sure you pay attention to the chapter numbers as these are coming back-to-back***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 41 – Setup

Allison finished packing the last of the runes she had made into her backpack. The new rune merchant in the Gallows was much nicer than Umbar and definitely less shady. He had been approved by Cullen personally and Allison had already developed a rapport with the dwarf named Furat.

After brainstorming with Isabela about ways to make extra money for her new life with Anders, Allison had made an appointment with the City Guard's captain, a strong and solid woman with fiery red hair, and had arranged for them to try out some of the weapons that Sandal had enchanted with her runes. They had been impressed by the improvements which meant that Allison and Sandal both had new customers.

The influx of money would do a lot to help her reach her goals of homeownership.

While Allison had been living in Darktown she had noticed that near the clinic was a set of stairs that led to a door that was always boarded up. There were no windows to see inside the building and one day, a few weeks after she had bought Anders' ring, she had asked Varric about it. He had told her that what she saw was the basement to a vacant house that had its upper floor in Lowtown. A textile merchant and his adult son had lived there and built the basement to support their secret black market sales. When the Blight came they had grown a conscience and volunteered to fight. Both father and son had been killed by darkspawn before their militia could reach Ostagar.

There was no family and the house had been abandoned since then. Allison had wondered what the house looked like on the inside and since there were no real estate agents in Thedas, Varric simply pulled the wooden boards off the door and took her inside.

The pair had lit lanterns and made their way carefully around the dusty furniture that had been left unattended.

The house was simple. Not counting the basement, it was one level. One larger room served as a living room and dining room, past that on the left side, were two bedrooms and a bathing chamber. On the right side of the house Allison had opened a door that led to a larder which had still been stocked with wines, bottles of vinegar and sacks of dried goods like rice and beans. What was behind the next door had Allison practically dancing.

A kitchen.

It was small but it didn't matter. There was a fireplace for cooking and a stone oven. Cupboards were full of pots and dishes and eating utensils.

There was enough counter space not to be too cramped and Allison practically drooled thinking of what she could cook up if she had her own place. And Anders would be able to take the path down to the basement and come out close to the clinic. It was perfect. The question was: how did she get it?

Varric explained that she would have to get a dispensation to claim the deed from the house and it wasn't just a matter of making the request.

She would have to petition the Viscount's administrative assistant, Seneschal Bran at the Keep, and he would expect a bribe to move the paperwork along. She would also have to grease the palms of the city clerk and the notary in order to have the transfer of ownership approved.

All-in-all it would take several hundred sovereigns to buy the house. Allison figured that in the grand scheme of things, a house was much more important than a wedding dress. She would keep her wedding dress as inexpensive and simple as possible and focus on raising the money for the house instead.

Allison found that once she committed to living her life in Thedas it was a bit easier to let go of her old one. She still missed indoor plumbing and things like going to the movies or sitting in a bookstore drinking coffee, but she supposed that finding the love of your life was worth a bit of inconvenience.

She would be sitting at the table in the clinic sometimes, reading over one of Anders' books, when she would look up to find his eyes on her, a soft smile playing around his lips.

It was times like that when she knew that she'd give up anything to be with him.

In her old life, Allison had been alone. Her parents had been dead and there wasn't really anyone who would have missed her. In _this_ world she had found a new family. Varric was like a brother to her and Isabela was both a best friend and a sister.

Allison wondered if maybe her whole life had been leading her to this place. She was content, which was saying something.

Allison heard a knock on the front door and went to answer. Anders wasn't home because Varric's brother had now apparently gone insane. Varric had contacted some of his extended family in Orzammar and several of his cousins had come to take Bartrand away. Varric's brother had become violent and Varric had asked Anders to use his magic to subdue Bartrand so he would sleep during the trip back to Orzammar. He would be back soon and Allison was familiar enough with some of his remedies to help someone with a minor injury or illness.

A pale, nervous little boy about the age of ten stood outside. Allison didn't recognize him as one of the refugees and she had gotten to know most of them through the soup kitchen.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

The boy simply handed her a folded piece of paper and then stood trembling and fidgeting.

Allison wondered what could be wrong with him and opened the note. Her blood ran cold.

"_Hello my dear. Did you forget about me? I'm betting that you didn't and I certainly have not forgotten about you. Our time together was cut short and I had so many other devices to try on you._

_Your presence is requested at my new residence on the Wounded Coast. The accommodations aren't as nice as the warehouse but I'm sure that you'll find it just as… comfortable._

_You may be thinking that I'm insane to believe that you'll come to me, but I think that you'll change your mind when I tell you who my special guest is._

_I have him. I have your mage._

_Would you like to try and take him from me?_

_Follow the map on the bottom of this invitation. Oh, and please don't insult me by trying to go to Cullen for help. I know exactly when this message is being delivered and I know precisely how long it will take you to get here. I will kill Anders if you are late, which means that you don't have time to go to the Gallows or to get your whore, the pirate, at The Hanged Man._

_I await your arrival with bated breath,_

_Ser Alrik"_

Allison felt lightheaded and slumped against the door, her extremities going numb from shock.

Alrik had Anders!

Allison took a deep breath. She couldn't get help but there was no way that she could beat Alrik on her own either. Time was slipping away from her and she had to get moving quickly. She thought through her options, discarding plans that wouldn't work.

The boy was still there.

Allison knelt in front of him and grabbed his shoulders, trying to check her strength so she didn't hurt him. He was so thin and she could feel him shaking.

"I need your help." Allison said quickly. "I need you to get my friends and tell them where I'm going, do you understand?"

The boy nodded but looked like he was close to tears. Allison could only imagine how Alrik had gotten the child to deliver his message.

But who to send him to? She couldn't send him the Hanged Man because they would turn him away at the door. She wasn't sure that the Gallows' guards would take a child asking for the Knight-Captain seriously either.

Who was left?

Bodhan! Bodhan could get to Isabela and Cullen!

Allison tried to reassure the boy with a smile but she could feel her lips quivering a bit so the effect was lost.

"I need you to go to my friend Bodhan. He's a dwarf and he's very nice. He lives outside Hightown and he can help me. I need you to tell him where I've gone and that he needs to get help. Tell him to find Isabela…can you remember that? And tell him to get Cullen. He'll know what to do. Tell him Anders is in trouble."

Allison reached into her pocket and pulled out a sovereign. The boy's eyes widened as big as saucers when she held it out to him. Allison was sure that Alrik had not been so kind.

"Take this and there'll be another one for you when I get back ok?" Allison asked.

Allison told the boy how to get to Bodhan's and then grabbed her backpack and started running.

She had to trust that the boy would deliver the message and that her friends would come.

Allison used one of the passages Anders had shown her to circumvent a large area of the city and then hit the path to Wounded Coast without slowing down.

She tried not to think about what Alrik could be doing to Anders in the meantime. She knew the Templar's cruelty and it sickened her to think that every second she wasn't there, Alrik was inflicting more pain on Anders.

She didn't care what happened to her but no matter what it took, Alrik was going to die today.

_**Two hours later…**_

Anders opened the door to the clinic, stood in the doorway and sighed in relief. Home at last!

Bartrand had been a handful even when under the influence of magic. Varric's cousins were going to have an interesting trip back to Orzammar.

Whatever had been in that idol had severely affected Bartrand's mind and Anders wasn't sure that anyone would be able to help him return to normal. Anders had tried to search Bartrand's mind for the damage but there was some strange magic at work in the dwarf and Anders hadn't been able to make sense of it. And the idol itself had disappeared as well so he hadn't been able to study it to discover its workings.

Anders felt the awareness that someone was watching him and turned to see a young boy crouching in the shadows next to a pillar outside the clinic.

Anders smiled warmly, sending out a gentle waves of magic to see if the boy was injured. Finding nothing wrong with him, Anders crouched down to get on eye-level with him.

"Hello there." Anders greeted. "You don't have to hide, I won't hurt you."

The little boy hesitated and then stepped out into the light. He approached Anders cautiously so the mage stayed very still so as not to startle him.

Strangely the boy went around Anders and craned his neck to look inside clinic, frowning at whatever he found there.

"Is something wrong?" Anders asked, wondering what the boy could possibly be looking for.

The child looked uncertain for a moment and then seemed to make up his mind.

"Is the lady back?" the child asked.

Anders was puzzled. "The lady? Do you mean Allison?"

The boy nodded, rocking back and forth on the heels of his worn shoes.

"I don't know. I've just returned myself." Anders replied. "When did you last see her?"

"When I gave her the note from the man." the boy said.

Anders felt his muscles tense as an uneasy feeling singed across his nerves. He forced himself to remain calm. He had no reason to believe that anything was wrong.

Anders kept his smile in place. "Do you know the name of the man that gave you the note?"

This time the boy shook his head. "He didn't say but when I gave the note to the lady she got real scared and told me to get help. She told me to tell her friend that Anders was in trouble and then she ran that way." the boy said, pointing off in the distance.

Anders felt as if the ground were shifting under his feet. The world seemed to be shaking but he knew it was him.

"Do you remember what the man looked like?" Anders asked, already fearing that he knew.

The boy made a face and shivered a bit. "He was bald and his eyes were scary, like dead people's eyes."

Anders braced one hand on the ground to steady himself and closed his eyes.

That bastard had used the one lure that he knew Allison wouldn't be able to resist: _him_.

Anders mind raced with possibilities and dread. There was no time to lose.

"Do you know where the man lives?" Anders asked urgently. "Can you show me on a map?"

The boy nodded and Anders led him inside by the hand, taking one of his maps off the shelf.

The boy pointed to a remote area in the Wounded Coast. Anders knew it well as Tevinter slavers had used the caves there years ago to hide their captives. Some of Varric's jobs had taken Anders and Isabela there in the past because the caves were used by the Carta to smuggle.

Anders grabbed his staff and his hand faltered for a moment remembering when Allison had given it to him.

He turned back to the boy. "How long ago did she leave?"

The boy frowned. "More than an hour ago I think."

_Maker, he could be too late already_, Anders thought.

If Alrik hurt her…Anders shook the fear off. He reached inside himself where Justice resided and drew on the spirit's strength. Justice was afraid for Allison as well and they were of one mind about the fate of the former Templar.

Alrik would die if it was the last thing that Anders accomplished in this world.

In the shadows a hooded figure watched the mage hurry off to save his lover. The figure smiled grimly. Alrik would be pleased. His plan was working perfectly.


	42. Chapter 42 Showdown

***Ok. I have never been more nervous about a chapter than I am about this one. Seriously. I always knew this coming but when it was finally time to write it, I kept going back and adding and taking away and adding. I don't want to disappoint anyone but that's probably impossible. So…without further ado…**

**And no, this isn't the end of the story but it's close. I'll go be sick now***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 42 – Showdown

Allison felt like the biggest, most naïve idiot in _both_ worlds. She should have realized that Alrik's letter was a trap when he didn't mention anything about Varric. Anders and Varric had been together and there was no way that Alrik would have gotten to Anders without going through Varric first. Alrik would have bragged about killing Varric or taunted her with the fact that he had captured her friend too.

It was a little late for hindsight though, Allison thought as she sat on the cold, wet floor of the cage.

Alrik had made good use of what the Tevinter slavers had left behind. The cages were lined up with two on one side of the room and two, including hers, on the other.

He had taken her backpack, tossing it in a dirty corner of the cave, which meant that her dagger was out of reach. She may not be a violent person but Allison was sure that she could cheerfully stab Alrik to death without it bothering her in the least. She had been wrong when she'd told Anders otherwise.

The Templar in question was currently sitting at a large dinner table that looked like it belonged in a mansion, not a damp cave. He cut into warm meat dishes and tomatoes that burst red when the skin was pierced by his teeth.

Alrik didn't seem interested in her at the moment but that just made Allison nervous. It was like he was waiting for something.

Allison looked at the empty cages again. Three cages. For three of her friends.

Alrik was obviously expecting Anders, Isabela and Varric to show up. Allison couldn't see any other Templars other than the two who had captured her when she arrived at the caves.

Allison wasn't even sure that the little messenger boy had been able to find Bodhan or that Bodhan had been able to reach Isabela or Cullen.

There had to something that she could do to get free.

In a clichéd fashion she had rattled the cage futilely and screamed for Alrik to let her go. It was very movie-esque and just like in the movies, it had done no good. Alrik had looked at her like she was a flea that he would enjoy stomping on and after being at the mercy of his fancies the last time, Allison was not looking forward to whatever plan the madman had cooked up.

There was the sound of rocks being moved and a Templar entered the cave. He walked up to Alrik who suddenly looked eager, putting his utensils down and standing up.

"Ser Alrik, the messenger has returned." the Templar reported but he sounded nervous. "However…"

Alrik took a step towards the Templar. "However what?"

The Templar stepped back. "However, he was unable to deliver the message to the pirate and the dwarf, Ser Alrik. He went to the tavern but they weren't there."

Allison cheered inside even as she despaired. If Isabela and Varric were AWOL then that could mean that help was on the way or that they had escaped.

The brightest light was the fact that Anders was nowhere to be seen either.

Alrik roared and punched the Templar in the face making the man stagger and fall.

"I will tell the messenger how displeased I am with his performance." Alrik said angrily.

Allison stood up and held onto the cage bars. "He's just a child!" she cried.

Alrik paused and smirked at her. "My dear, do you really believe that the urchin was the only piece I was using?"

Alrik causally swaggered over to her cage. "I have several agents in place all working to bring your friends here to join you. The failure of one will not affect my plan."

Alrik smiled and left the main part of the cavern. In the distance there was quiet before a horrible scream echoed through the chamber.

Apparently Alrik's displeasure meant death for those who failed him.

Allison saw the uneasy look pass over her guard's faces and took advantage.

"That could be any of you." she said out loud. "Alrik doesn't care about you, not really. If you do one thing to make him angry then you're dead. How can you work for someone like that?"

The guards said nothing. They acted like she wasn't there.

"Don't you value your lives at all?" she continued. "There's still time to stop this. You could stop Alrik before you're guilty of terrible crimes. Go back to Cullen before it's too late."

One of the guards turned a menacing gaze to her. "Shut your face you mage loving slut!" he spat. "Andraste will see you dead by the end of this day."

Allison was intimidated by the irrational venom in the guard's voice and backed away from the bars. There was something abnormal about the feverish devotion these men showed to Alrik's cause. The kind of devotion would justify any action no matter how depraved.

Alrik returned and was about to take his seat again when a shrouded figure approached him from another direction. The person whispered something in Alrik's ear that made the Templar grin widely.

Alrik picked up a goblet and toasted in Allison's direction.

"It looks like your beloved mage has made it early. How wonderful." Alrik cheered "I was getting bored."

Screams could be heard from a distance and the hiss of lightening followed by cries for help.

Allison opened her mouth to tell Alrik to suck it, but she saw that he was still smiling. That couldn't be good.

From the far side of the cave a large group of Templars rushed inside but Alrik raised a hand silently and they retreated.

That wasn't good at all!

Alrik had _way_ more men than Allison had thought. Anders was outnumbered and walking into a trap.

She had to do something!

"Anders it's a trap! Run! It's a trap!" she screamed.

Alrik marched over and punched her in the stomach between the bars. Allison gagged and slumped bonelessly to the floor. She could barely draw enough breath to wheeze.

"Even now you would protect a filthy mage." Alrik sneered. "Disgusting."

A Templar came flying through one of the rock walls followed closely by Anders who glowed with the ethereal light of the Fade and the ire of a man who was hell-bent on destroying the monster who'd taken his love.

"No, no Anders, run." Allison whispered into the dirty floor while she curled up in a ball..

Anders heard the weak voice and turned.

He saw Ser Alrik standing near a cage and on the floor of the cage lay Allison in obvious pain. Pure rage blinded him to everything except Alrik whose cold eyes were glinting with malice.

With a war cry Anders rushed across the room, the blue crystalline crown of his staff vibrating with gathering magic.

Ser Alrik simply lifted a hand and Anders choked as he was lifted helplessly into the air and suspended there. His staff clattered to the ground.

Ser Alrik smiled, stroking his beard. He circled Anders' dangling body with delight.

"What do you think of my pets Anders?" Alrik asked pleasantly.

At his words three people in dark colored mage's robes came forward. One had their hand in the air and was obviously controlling Anders.

The three mages' heads were shaven with strange markings like tattoos on their skin and their eyes were vacant. Their gender was indistinguishable.

Anders clawed at the invisible grip on his throat, his legs kicking out at the empty space. He watched Alrik pace beneath him.

"You see, I've found that magic, all though a plague and a curse on our lands, can also be harnessed to serve a greater purpose." Alrik intoned.

Anders tried to speak but his throat was being squeezed too tightly. Alrik looked up and made a questioning face.

"What was that?" Alrik asked politely, lifting a hand again.

The mage controlling Anders let up on their hold slightly so that he could speak.

"I said…" Anders gasped. "To let me down so I can strip the flesh from your bones, you son of a bitch!"

Allison managed to get to her knees in her cell. "Let him go!" she yelled all be it breathlessly.

Alrik laughed with genuine delight.

"Yes, yes, let him go." Alrik agreed with a flick of his wrist.

The mage dropped their hand and Anders flew through the air, sliding across the wet ground. Allison watched him struggling to get up and she wanted to scream in frustration because she couldn't help him.

"Look out!" she warned, when one of her guards walked over to Anders' prone form. He couldn't evade the man's boot though and he grunted in pain as the guard kicked him in the ribs.

Anders went limp as the Templar hoisted him off the ground. Allison did yell then, curses and threats, as the Templar dragged Anders by his robe to Ser Alrik.

"She does make quite a fuss doesn't she?" Alrik remarked. "She screamed for me too, but for altogether different reasons."

Anders said nothing and Alrik frowned. The Templar backhanded him, trying to get a reaction but Anders remained silent.

Alrik leaned down to get face-to-face with the mage and that's when Anders' hand reached out over the Templar's breastplate.

White hot heat punched Alrik in the chest and the Templar screamed in pain as he was propelled backwards with enough force to hit the far wall of the cave.

Anders grabbed the guard's hand which held his robe and bent the Templar's fingers backwards until they broke. The sickening crunch was drowned out by the guard's shriek. The guard cradled his hand and Anders spun around knocking the guard back with a repulsion wave.

Anders rolled gracefully and grabbed his staff, pointing it at Allison's cage. She saw ice crystals form over the lock and she gave it shove which opened the cage door.

Anders sent a fireball at the remaining guard who was standing by her before the Templar could draw his sword, enveloping him in flames and reducing him to ashes.

Allison raced across the room but instead of going to Anders she grabbed her backpack and started stuffing items into her pockets, grabbing her dagger last of all.

"Men!" Alrik yelled angrily, still clutching at his chest. "Attack!"

It was what Allison had feared. Dozens and dozens of Templars flooded the cave surrounding them on all sides.

The Templars blocked her path to Anders and they stared at each other across the room. Anders bared his teeth and held his staff aloft, ready for battle. He aimed a deadly look at Alrik.

"You will not have her." Anders swore.

"Kill the girl but take the mage alive." Alrik ordered. "He will be added to my menagerie."

The Templars drew their swords and converged on her. Anders leveled four of them before they got close but Allison had some surprises of her own.

She withdrew one of the objects she had taken out of her bag; a particularly nasty nature rune that grew giant, thorn infested vines that were as thick as tree trucks.

She threw it at the group of Templars immediately in front of her and they screamed as the vines crushed them and the thorns went perforated their armor.

The spectacle made the other Templars hesitate which was when Allison threw another rune that made a curtain of smoke that obscured her from their view. She crouched low to the ground and kept quiet until she got to Anders' side.

He grinned at her. "That's my girl."

Anders took advantage of the Templar's equivocation and sent a current of electricity through another group. The Templars on his flank approached and Anders swung out at the closest one, striking him with the curved ebony blade on his staff. Twirling the staff around again, Anders aimed it at another Templar, casting a Walking Bomb spell on the man.

A sickly aura surrounded the Templar and he began clawing at his own skin while his fellow Templars drew back.

Anders watched carefully and one second before the man exploded, Anders activated a protective shield around himself and Allison to protect them from the corrosive sickness that spewed and landed on three Templars nearby making them fall to the ground in agony.

Anders took that moment to drink a lyrium potion and feeling the tingly sensation as the fluid travelled through his body, he readied for the next wave.

Alrik's chest was throbbing like a giant fist had punched through his ribs. Watching the abomination take out large numbers of his soldiers, Alrik decided that Anders was more trouble than he was worth and that he would get much more satisfaction from seeing the mage dead.

"Mages! Kill them!" Alrik roared after watching more than a quarter of his men fall to the apostate.

Allison desperately dug into her pockets for another rune, trying not to drop them on the ground. She settled on an ice rune but her throw went wide only hitting one of the mages and encasing them in ice.

"Damn it!" she swore.

The remaining two mages stayed back, not needing close quarters to take them out. Allison watched in fear as strange wisps of energy came towards them.

Anders threw up the shield again and the wisps became like snakes, hissing and striking at the invisible wall. But he couldn't hold it intact forever and a crack appeared in the shield. Two of the wisps made it inside and Allison felt a cold sting on her shoulder.

"Agh!" she cried out, clapping her hands over her ears.

Anders reached for her but the second wisp stung his arm and he cried out as well, mirroring Allison's frenzied movements.

The collared mages had cast a Horror spell on the pair and their minds were being assaulted with terrifying images of monsters, blood and death.

Now that they were stunned the rest of the Templars moved in to make the kill.

A howl of pain made the men turn around and one of the Templars dropped to the ground dead, an arrow sticking out the back of his head.

Varric loaded another arrow into Bianca and took aim, felling another Templar before the man could take a step.

The Templars were not afraid, in fact many of them grinned in anticipation as they advanced on Varric's position. They didn't consider a dwarf to be dangerous.

One of Isabela's daggers lodging itself into one of the approaching Templar's chest brought them up short however.

A disturbing laugh echoed in the chamber, starting out low and becoming louder and more maniacal. Alrik finally regained his footing and looking at Anders and Allison writhing on the ground, Alrik saluted the new arrivals mockingly.

"Welcome. I see that you found your way here after all." Alrik said, still laughing. "What precisely do you think you're going to do with a bow and some rusty daggers? Hmmm?"

Alrik encompassed all of his men with a gesture. "You stand against the might of Andraste's faithful and you come to me with the weapons of children! Look at your friends. The mage cannot help you and the girl is useless. Submit and I might just kill you instead of torturing you first."

Varric looked at Isabela. "You know, I have the feeling that he's not taking us seriously."

Isabela pursed her lips. "Personally, I'm offended."

"Me too." Varric agreed amiably.

His crossbow clicked and one arrow split into three. The men in front of him had half a second to gasp before Bianca sent them all flying with the force of the arrows.

"That's five for me Rivaini. You'd better catch up." Varric teased.

Isabela pouted and then eyed the mage who was partially enveloped in melting ice. Faster than a person could blink, the sharp end of her dagger found the mage's throat.

"I get more points for style darling." she said.

Ser Alrik growled and pounded the table next to him until it broke. "So be it. The Templars shall teach you the penalty for your lack of faith. Andraste guide us!"

"Do not call upon Andraste's name to support your twisted cause Alrik!" Cullen bellowed from the opposite side of the room.

"Cullen!" Alrik spat hatefully. "What the devil are you doing here?"

"You can't intimidate everyone into serving you. Bravery can come in the smallest forms." Cullen replied.

Alrik made a fist so tight it hurt. "The boy." he guessed. "I will take care of him later."

"You won't get anywhere near him." Cullen disagreed and took in the group of Templars both fallen and alive. He addressed those still standing.

"I would like to believe that most of you were tricked into joining Alrik's cause." Cullen said, carefully watching the expressions of his former army. "I would like to believe that Alrik lied to you and told you that he had Andraste's blessing. That he made you believe that the Templars had lost their way and you needed to help them. That he preyed on your insecurities and ambitions."

Cullen stepped further into the room. "I'd like to believe that you aren't depraved killers. That he hasn't completely stolen your humanity or your honor."

Cullen watched as several men looked down in shame, while some of them glanced around as if this situation wasn't what they had signed up for.

"Lay down your weapons and turn yourselves in to my custody and I promise your lives will be spared. Alrik can only lead you to a dishonored death where you will be banished from the Maker's side." Cullen continued. "Do you forget that a Templar's sword is a symbol of mercy? Andraste would not want this."

A few of Alrik's men lowered their swords and made their way towards Cullen.

"Cowards!" Alrik yelled and at his signal one of the mages turned their power on the deserters. The men made inhuman sounds of pain as their flesh was dissolved, leaving only their charred skeletons behind.

Cullen watched in horror and then understood where Alrik's real power had come from.

"You have turned to Tevinter magic Alrik?" Cullen said, disappointment heavy within him. Cullen turned to his faithful soldiers. "Men! Destroy those abominations!"

Cullen's army swarmed through their former brethren, struggling to reach the mages, the sound of metal against metal rang through the air.

The mages were distracted which freed Anders and Allison from their hold. Allison groaned and jerked when a hand closed over her elbow but it was Isabela.

"You made it!" Allison said hugging her fiercely.

"Sorry we were late but Cullen was out training his men in some god forsaken forest!" Isabela said in disgust. "It took forever to round up enough Templars to storm this cave."

"Incoming." Varric said calmly.

Isabela pushed Allison's head down, spun her dagger around and punched one of Alrik's men with the hilt before kicking him in the face.

Anders fended off an attack from their left with a well-placed Spirit Bolt which slammed the men into the ground so hard that their armor crumpled.

"Get Allison out of here!" Anders ordered, slicing another Templar with his staff.

"No way!" Allison said, attempting to shake Isabela off.

"Anders will worry about you and he'll be distracted." Isabela said firmly, pulling Allison away from the fight. "Just stay here and this will be over soon."

Isabela pushed her out of the main cavern and into a narrow tunnel. Allison could hear the fighting inside and she cursed the fact that she was useless in a real battle.

Anders continued to replenish his mana with lyrium though the amount in his bloodstream was making him a little dizzy.

He had a brief moment to wonder at the sight of him and his friends fighting alongside Cullen and his men against twisted mages and renegade Templars. The Maker surely had a sense of humor.

Allison paced in the humid tunnel, her ears straining to catch sounds of the people she loved. Allison heard a loud scraping sound and she crept quietly down the passage to peer around a sharp corner.

Ser Alrik was pulling large rocks out of the wall and looking behind him to see if he was being pursued.

The hateful bastard was trying to get away… again!

Not this time, Allison thought. She and Anders would never be free to live their lives if Alrik escaped. Someday, he would come for them again. The man was obsessed and his pride would never allow him to let them go. He would build another army, capture more mages as pets and the cycle would start all over again.

She wouldn't let that happen.

Allison stayed crouched and quietly made her way towards Alrik. He didn't notice her and Allison readied her dagger.

She would have to hit Alrik in one of the places not protected by his armor. He wore no gauntlets which left his hands exposed and no helmet either.

As Allison took another step, she accidently kicked a rock which skidded across the ground. She froze but Alrik spun around and upon seeing her he gave a mighty cry of rage.

Alrik rushed her, tackling her to the ground. Allison tried to scream but Alrik's hands closed over her throat cutting her off.

Black dots danced in front of her eyes as Alrik squeezed but Allison didn't dare give up.

Her self-defense training with Isabela kicked in and she brought both of her hands up and slammed then into Alrik's throat making him gasp and choke.

He let her go but remained straddling her so she couldn't get up. Allison struck out with her fist and punched Alrik in the nose, breaking it the way he had broken hers once.

Anger didn't drive her, survival did and she followed up with a chop directly to Alrik's Adam's apple. The Templar's eyes went wide as he cupped his larynx and coughed.

When he raised his arms, the small opening where his chest plate met his arm harness appeared. Allison drove her dagger into that opening and closed her eyes when Alrik screamed.

Frost poured out of the wound, quickly encasing the Templar's chest and right arm. His cry was muted when the ice ran up his neck and then went into his mouth, pouring down his throat.

Allison scooted out from under Alrik as fast as she could and crawled backwards until her back hit the rocky wall of the tunnel. The sharp stones didn't faze her as they dug into her back. She could only watch as Alrik's body was consumed both inside and out. She heard him choking and finally had the wherewithal to cover her ears.

She wanted him dead but she didn't need those last sounds of his death haunting her dreams.

Alrik's frozen form tipped over from the weight of the ice and shattered into a million pieces in front of her.

She'd probably see that sight for a while. Allison scrambled hastily to her feet and ran back to the cavern where the sounds of fighting weren't as loud as they had been.

Standing in the entrance Allison saw that Cullen and his men had a large group of Templars cornered. Isabela was finishing off a couple of them on her side and Varric had several more on their knees in surrender.

The bodies of the collared mages lay together in death.

Anders incinerated the last man and looked up at her. He was breathing hard, his skin flushed and his hair was loose and spattered with blood but he looked unharmed.

Allison sagged in relief. She was starting to shake now that the danger was over.

Cullen glanced up as well and then looked around urgently. "Where is Alrik?"

Allison pointed behind her. "He's back there. He's dead."

Cullen gaped in disbelief but then bowed slightly in respect. "My Lady." And he allowed himself to smile at the unlikely group who had fought with him side-by-side.

Isabela bent over to catch her breath, grinning at Allison. Varric lowered his crossbow and winked at her.

A slow smile spread over Anders' face and Allison knew that he realized they were finally free as well.

Allison grinned too, feeling a little giddy and if she admitted it, a little sick. She was still a girl from Seattle after all and killing insane Templars wasn't usually on her list of things to do.

A movement from the darkness surprised them all.

"**MURDERERS!"**

Four of Alrik's men had been hiding in the recessed shadows of the cave, witnessing their fellows defeat. They had believed that Alrik had gotten away and that they would join him once Cullen and the others took the prisoners away. At the news of their leader's death they rushed those responsible, madness plain to see in their faces.

Two of them went for Cullen and Isabela raced to help him. One of them veered towards Anders, reached a hand out and managed to touch him before he could react.

Anders made a sound of pain and reeled as the Templar drained his mana with a Holy Smite.

In what seemed like slow motion, Allison saw Varric raise his crossbow and point it at the Templar who had smited Anders. The fourth Templar drew his sword and snuck up on Anders from behind to run him through.

Anders was too busy trying to find his bearing after being drained. He didn't sense the Templar's approach.

Allison didn't think, she just reacted.

She ran over the rocky ground heedlessly and pushed Anders out of the Templar's path.

Cullen and Isabela quickly dealt with the first two attackers. Varric's arrow found it's home in the third Templar's heart.

Allison looked down and saw the fourth Templar's blade buried in her chest. She was so shocked, she didn't really comprehend that she had been stabbed. She stood blinking dumbly at the smile on the Templar's face. He pulled the blade out of her body a scant second before Varric's next arrow went through his brain.

Allison staggered and Anders caught her as she collapsed.

"_**No!**_" Anders screamed.

He saw bright red blood bloom like a flower across Allison's shirt, soaking it in an instant. Anders quickly laid her across his lap and applied pressure to the wound.

"No, please, no." he whispered. "Hold on Allison!"

Cullen, Isabela and Varric all ran to Anders' side.

"What are you doing! _Heal_ her!" Cullen shouted.

"I can't!" Anders roared back. "My mana's been drained."

He continued to press down on the wound while stroking Allison's hair with his left hand which was shaking so hard he could barely control it. All his training as a healer seemed to fail him as he watched the woman he loved bleed to death in his arms.

Unbidden tears leaked from Allison's bewildered gray eyes as she looked up at him. The air whistled in her lungs as she struggled to breathe.

Justice was incoherent with grief and the feeling threatened to swamp Anders whose own emotions were in turmoil.

Cullen looked around frantically at his men. "Do any of you have lyrium?"

The Templars each searched their pouches but came up empty. The battle had been drawn out and difficult. They had used up their supply.

"Search the bodies!" Cullen ordered and all of them fanned out to check the dead.

Anders rocked Allison in his arms. Her lips moved but no sound but gasping came out. Her lips were turning pale and Anders felt the tremors in her body as her life's blood stained the ground.

"Stay with me! Stay with me!" Anders pleaded, his voice breaking. "Hold on. I can heal you, just hold on!"

Allison's right hand clutched at his robes spasmodically. Her lips trembled and he heard a weak sound.

"An…ders….lov…yo…" Allison coughed up blood and gasped, her body jerking as she fought to breathe.

Anders tightened his hold on her, staring into her eyes, trying to anchor her to him with sheer will.

"I love you. I love you so much." he said over and over. "Please don't leave me."

Anders saw his anguish reflected in Allison's eyes which were slowly losing focus. Her eyelids fluttered closed and her body slumped.

"No! Look at me! Open your eyes!" Anders begged brokenly but she didn't.

Allison's head fell back limply and her breathing became even more ragged.

"Where is the lyrium!" Anders asked desperately.

"It's not here!" Isabela called as she searched the last bodies. She had never been so frightened in all her life as she looked over at the woman who was more family to her than anyone had been. Allison's body was so still and there was so much blood. She wouldn't survive much longer without healing.

"Allison?" Anders called her, his hand brushing her face, leaving streaks of blood behind. "Love, can you hear me?"

There was no response.

Anders pressed a fervent kiss to her forehead. "Love please, look at me."

He saw her chest expand just once before a soft sigh slowly escaped her lips, brushing over his face like a feather.

She didn't move anymore.

Anders froze in absolute terror. He slowly lowered his head to Allison's chest and listened.

There was nothing.

The whole room was still as the companions waited for Anders to say something.

Anders felt the bonds that held his being together begin to fray and tear. A loud rushing roared in his ears and his body disconnected from his mind.

There were many pains that he had taken and survived; losing his mother, the abuses in the Circle, seeing mages he cared for hollowed out by the Rite of Tranquility. But this pain eclipsed everything in his experience and his mind simply could not take it.

There was no more reason for anything. Allison was dead and Anders' brain began to shutdown piece by piece.

"Alrik!" Isabela called and took off to the tunnel. She saw a flesh colored puddle but _in_ that puddle lay Alrik's armor, sword and most importantly, his pouch.

Isabela prayed to every spirit she could think of as she lifted Alrik's pouch from his remains.

"I've got it!" she shouted, running back to Anders and practically pouring the lyrium down his throat. "Go!" She shook him hard.

Anders blinked and understanding came back to him through the darkness. There was a chance.

Anders concentrated and sent out his magic through Allison's already cooling body. Getting her heart beating was the most important thing.

He could see the organ in his mind's eye. It was silent but the sword hadn't pierced it. He needed to start it again and Anders' mind raced trying to figure out what to do.

Inside him, Justice reached out and put an image in Anders' head: the Maker giving humans the spark of the Divine when he made them after leaving the Fade behind.

The _spark_ of the Divine…

Anders' breath quickened and he asked the Maker to give him this _one_ thing.

He closed his eyes, placed his hand over Allison's heart, and sent a jolt of electricity through it. Her back bowed stiffly for a frightening moment before she slumped again.

Allison's gasp caught them all by surprise but she was breathing again, though with difficulty.

Anders focused, now that his world was no longer caving in. He mended the hole in her chest carefully and methodically; fixing injured tissue and muscle as he went. Next, Anders closed the puncture in her lungs which made them inflate, helping Allison to breathe easier.

Anders felt fatigue dragging at him but he refused to give into it.

"She's lost too much blood." he said. "We need to get her back to the clinic, now."

"I'll carry her." Cullen offered. At the flash of anger in Anders' eyes Cullen glared at the mage, their rivalry forgotten when faced with the reality of Allison's brief death. _Who_ she was with was no longer important, only that she live.

"Stop it!" Cullen snapped. "You need to rest so you can heal her. You'll do that better if I carry her back."

Anders heard the logic and relented, letting Cullen take Allison from his arms.

Nodding at the Templar's who had surrendered Cullen ordered, "Men, take this treasonous scum back to the Gallows and imprison them. Wait for further orders and speak of this to no one."

The loyal Templars immediately obeyed, shuffling the prisoners outside.

The trip back to Kirkwall was quiet and as fast as they could manage. Anders paid no attention to his steps; his every sense was trained on Allison. It seemed as if his heart beat for hers; his breathing, regulating hers.

If he lost her, Anders knew that it would be a blow from which he would never recover. He wouldn't want to.

While they walked, they prayed, each in their own way.

Somehow, fate had brought this group together. They were all inexorably connected now, through laughter, love and through battle. No one wanted to consider how they would handle losing any part of their circle.

Anders.

Allison.

Isabela.

Varric.

And now, even Cullen.

Friends in the most unexpected of circumstances.

They crossed the city limits of Kirkwall with starlight as their only illumination. Finally the sight of the clinic greeted them and Anders threw the door open, hastening inside to ready his potions.

Cullen went straight to the bedroom and laid Allison on the bed. Isabela and Varric stood like sentries, unsure what to do to help but needing to stay.

Anders didn't bother conversing. He drank another lyrium potion, knowing that he was bordering on toxicity and not caring.

Cullen knew though and without Anders' knowledge the Templar looked through Anders' supplies to made a remedy for the high levels of lyrium in Anders' bloodstream. Templars were taught the concoction since they relied heavily on lyrium themselves to function.

Anders brought a chair next to Allison and once again closed his eyes. He blocked out every sound and every feeling that did not involve healing.

Taking a deep breath, Anders centered himself, focusing on gathering the magic within him and shaping it to his will.

Allison's body needed life-giving blood to continue the healing process so Anders concentrated and brought up images of her cells in his mind. He pushed healing energy through the membranes causing them to fluctuate and then multiply.

It was taxing work and though sweat beaded on his forehead and then poured down his face, he didn't move once. He was like a statue with only his hand hovering steadily over Allison's body.

The three companions stood by and watched and Cullen marveled at Anders' abilities. He was truly an extraordinary healer. The realization of his own admiration made Cullen think of the conversations he and Allison had before.

Watching Anders work, Cullen indeed thought that it was unjust for such a mage to be forced to hide what he could do; for people to be frightened of someone who simply wished to help.

The events of the day had put things in perspective for all of them. Cullen decided that in the wake of what occurred: Alrik's despicable treachery, Allison's injury and seeing the way they all fought together in one accord, things needed to change in the Circle and he would champion those changes personally.

Anders slumped in exhaustion as the last of the lyrium in his system was used up. He rose unsteadily to get another bottle but Cullen put a restraining hand on his arm.

"She looks much better Anders." Cullen stated. "You need to stop now. You've used more than enough lyrium."

Anders shook his head wearily even though he could barely feel his body anymore.

"No…I need to keep…" his words were slurring now.

Cullen shifted his grip from restraining to supporting. "No. You've done enough. Drink this." Cullen brought a bottle forward.

Anders eyes it suspiciously. "What is that?"

Cullen smiled just a little. "Don't worry if I wanted to kill you I could've done so. I could knock you over with my small finger as it is, but strangely enough, I've actually come to like you."

He pushed the bottle into Anders' hand. "Go on. It's a Templar remedy for lyrium poisoning which I believe you are perilously close to experiencing."

Anders was as astonished as anyone to see that the Templar meant every word he'd said. He tipped the bottle back and winced as the metallic taste settled over his tongue.

"You should lie down Blondie." Varric said but the mage resisted.

"No. I'm not leaving her." Anders said stubbornly.

"Anders…" Isabela began but he cut her off.

"No!" Anders refused to budge an inch.

Varric sighed and walked out into the main room. There was a heavy dragging sound and Isabela knew what he was doing so she helped him bring in another cot into the cramped quarters.

Varric and Cullen helped Anders into bed and then waited outside while Isabela changed Allison's clothes so she'd sleep more comfortably.

Anders fell into a dreamless sleep almost right away and Isabela, Varric and Cullen convened outside the bedroom to speak.

"I must figure out how I'm going to report everything that happened." Cullen said tiredly.

"Will you tell the truth?" Isabela asked.

Cullen thought about it. "I believe that it's important that Anders' role in taking down Alrik's cult be known. He is a Gray Warden and Meredith will not attempt to arrest him. Also, it will help my argument that changes need to be made in the way we train mages."

Varric raised a brow. "Going to change the world eh Cullen?"

Cullen blushed. "Well, not the world, not yet. But, I can try to start something here in Kirkwall."

Isabela stretched. "I don't know about you but I could use a drink."

"Blondie doesn't have any alcohol." Varric lamented.

"I can fix that." Isabela said. "I'll go pick up a bottle of the Hanged Man's finest brandy, which is about as good as horse piss and we'll take a cot and wait."

"Sounds good." Varric agreed. He looked at Cullen. "Are you in Choir Boy?"

Cullen almost strangled on a laugh and it felt good.

"Yes I'm in, thank you. Just don't tell the Revered Mother that I partook." Cullen requested and began removing his heavy armors so he could relax.

Varric stretched out on a cot and sighed. "A Templar, a pirate, an apostate, a time-travelling girl and a devilishly handsome dwarf. All working together."

Cullen snorted. "Sounds like the beginning to a really bad joke."

_**14 hours later…**_

Anders sat next to Allison's bed, his eyes steady on her face, counting every breath she took and every beat of the pulse at her neck.

The others were asleep in the clinic now that the danger had passed.

Anders took Allison's hand in his, feeling very aware of how his much larger hand could wrap around her small wrists. She had saved his life, again. She had saved him in every way that mattered.

He closed his eyes and held the palm of her hand against his face, breathing in her scent. Her hand flexed and Anders' eyes snapped open.

Her eyelashes fluttered open and when she saw him, she smiled. It was everything Anders could have asked for.

"Good morning." he said softly.

"Good morning." Allison replied, just happy that he was there; that they were both alive.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Anders asked.

Allison thought about it for a moment before she laughed.

"Can we just get married already?" she asked.

Anders grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that."

***Ok what did you think? **

**There's more Allison and Anders to come but this was always where the story was going to go as far the climax of the plot. Actually I have some alternate "endings" like I did with my first fic The Fate of Wolves that I might talk about after the story **_**really**_** ends.***


	43. Chapter 43 Homecoming

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 43 – Homecoming

Two weeks after Alrik's death, in the clean, clear air along the cliffs of Sundermount friends gathered for Anders and Allison's wedding.

Allison had invited Merrill to come to the wedding and the elf had given them an amazing gift by asking Keeper Marethari if she would perform the ceremony.

It was fitting as neither Anders nor Allison wanted the Chantry involved.

The Dalish highly respected marriage, whether human or elvish, and the Keeper had been kind enough to agree.

Up in the mountains a clearing with thick green grass that blew gently in the wind was flanked by ancient standing stones and in the center, the Dalish had put up an alter to the Creators.

Bouquets of fresh flowers in shades of periwinkle, coral, cerulean and white had been laid on the alter and around the standing stones.

For once, Anders wasn't wearing his mage's robes. He had dug into his coin and bought a long coat in deep blue velvet and a pair of dark leather trousers. The coat played against the crisp white of his shirt giving him an elegant yet rakish appearance.

Down at the Dalish camp, Allison looked into a mirror, a half-laughing, half-impressed expression on her face.

Allison had wanted to wear her hair down but she wanted something special for the wedding.

Surprisingly, Varric hand an incredible gift for braiding hair. He claimed that it was in his dwarven blood because of all the beard braiding his ancestors had done throughout the centuries.

Allison's dress was simple; white muslin with long sleeves that came to a point on her hand and a v-cut neckline. She had added a braided gold belt to go around her waist for an accent and the blue sapphire that Anders had given her hung around her neck.

Isabela had picked fresh wild flowers the color of the sunset and put them in among the braids in Allison's hair.

She had a bouquet of mauve orlesian Calla Lillies and wild hibiscus that smelled like honey.

She was ready.

Anders stood in the clearing fidgeting with his jacket while Tomwise chattered about his own wedding so many years ago.

A large crowd milled about, waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Anders couldn't believe how many of the refugees had come for the wedding as well as former patients.

Many of them had brought small gifts that they had made by hand; woven blankets, wooden decorations carved with a knife, parchments with blessings written on them wishing them happiness in their marriage.

Anders was humbled by the show of support and it moved him to see that he had more friends than he'd thought.

The only person missing was Cullen. Anders had thought that the Templar had put their differences behind them but perhaps the wedding was too much for the Knight-Captain.

A shift in the air interrupted Anders' thoughts.

The Keeper walked into the clearing with Merrill and gave Anders a smile of encouragement, taking her place by the alter, signifying that it was time to begin.

The crowd began to settle, lining up on both sides of the clearing.

Merrill took her seat on a tree stump and took out a flute.

A rich melody flowed out of the instrument. Anders wasn't familiar with the song but he didn't have to be to recognize the beauty of it. He could almost feel the notes calling to the trees and the earth around them, weaving their way through the air and drawing together the life force that had gathered there.

Isabela appeared first, wearing her usual buccaneer garb but this time she wore a black corset with laces which actually made the outfit more formal.

Anders tried to control his breathing. It wouldn't do for him to pass out at his own wedding. He tugged on the jacket nervously, knowing that Allison was only a few feet behind Isabela.

Controlling his breathing became a moot point because when he saw Allison, his lungs emptied on their own.

She was beautiful. Even Justice was struck dumb by the sight of her.

She was smiling at him like he was the only person in the whole world and at that moment it indeed felt like there was nothing in Thedas but the two of them.

The white gown enhanced the healthy tone of her skin. Her figure was shown off to perfection and her hair was a glorious waterfall; dark, with intricate braids threaded with bright flowers.

Her gray eyes never left his face and Anders' heart pounded out a staccato rhythm as the reality of the day fully sunk in.

After everything that they had been through, they knew that nothing could separate them. She would be his and he would be hers. Forever.

Varric brought Allison to Anders' side and Keeper Marethari began the wedding ritual.

As planned, Allison placed the Memory Band on Anders' finger. He drew in a sharp breath as he studied the ring and then smiled broadly at her. Allison knew she had a goofy grin on her face but she didn't care.

Isabela held Allison's bouquet as the Keeper told one of the Dalish stories about the first marriage in the time of Alrathan.

She spoke of the creation of mortal's hearts and the journey of a person's soul to find that other part that completes them. She spoke of family and loyalty and sacrifice.

Anders and Allison never looked away from each other, each remembering the events that had brought them to this place.

With each line spoken, the Keeper tied a ribbon around Anders' and Allison's joined hands; white for purity, green for the land they stood on, red for the bond of blood. Color after color representing the commitment they had promised to give each other.

Keeper Marathari then placed her hands on both of their heads and said a prayer over them.

"Almare san esse." she concluded with a smile.

Anders leaned forward and kissed Allison as long as manners would allow. She laughed knowing that he had held back because of the crowd.

Applause and cheers rang out as the crowd rushed to congratulate the couple. Anders thought his back would be bruised for sure after all the pounding it received. Allison was hugged by everybody and she lost count of how many people had shown up.

As a gift, Lirene had made simple sandwiches and a hearty cake made with apples and cinnamon for the gathering. People laughed and hugged. It was a very good day.

Several of the guests had brought tambourines, drums and flutes and they joined Merrill in playing a happy tune that people could dance to.

Allison clapped along with the music, stomping her feet on the ground as people danced. She looked to her right where Anders stood grinning down at her while he clapped as well.

He leaned down and kissed her again, shutting out the world around them for a private moment. Allison wrapped her arms around his waist, content to stay in his embrace.

The music slowed and Anders took her hand to join the others already dancing. His left arm pulled her close to him and they danced on the soft grass as a gentle breeze blew, carrying the scent of the ocean.

There was a murmur in the crowd that had Anders and Allison turning around.

Cullen marched across the clearing, clearly on a mission.

"Oh no." Allison muttered.

Isabela rolled her eyes and Varric folded his arms and shook his head.

Cullen saw the looks of disbelief on their faces and realized that he looked a little _too_ official and they had naturally assumed that something was wrong.

He bowed a few feet away them. "Forgive me for being late but I have news that I wished to share with you."

Isabela and Varric joined them as Cullen drew them aside so those gathered wouldn't hear.

"I'm sorry that I missed the ceremony but I think what I have to tell you will make up for my absence." Cullen said quietly.

"Over the last few weeks Knight-Commander Meredith has been acting strangely. She became abusive to the recruits. She started seeing conspiracies everywhere and had several mages thrown into prison, claiming that they tried to kill her in her sleep. She stopped taking visitors and refused to meet with me, preferring to barricade herself behind closed doors at all hours."

Now that he had their attention Cullen continued.

"Three days ago the situation finally came to a head. Meredith attacked First Enchanter Orsino without provocation. She was wielding a strange weapon that glowed red with unnatural power. It took the entire force of the Templars and the Senior Enchanters to vanquish her."

Anders was the first to react. "I don't understand. Why did she attack Orsino? What was the weapon?"

Cullen shook his head. "We don't know, only that it was made of some kind of strange lyrium. Apparently she had acquired it from an anonymous seller. The lyrium poisoned her mind in a matter of days and drove her insane."

Allison remembered the elf who had tried to help her when Alrik had arrested her. "Is Orsino alright?" she asked.

"Yes. The healers were able to help him in time." Cullen replied.

Varric's eyes widened and he glanced at Anders who was drawing the same conclusion as the dwarf.

They finally knew what had happened to Bartrand's idol.

Allison thought over Cullen's wording. "You said vanquish? Does that mean that she's…?"

Cullen nodded. "Yes, she is dead. The Circle was in uproar and an emergency assembly was called with the Grand Cleric."

Cullen paused, looking slightly embarrassed.

"_I_ have been made Knight-Commander of the Templars in Kirkwall." he announced.

Allison hugged him. "Congratulations! I'm sorry it happened that way but you deserve it."

Varric looked up at Cullen, a slightly derisive look on his face. "Way to steal the thunder from the married couple Choir Boy."

Cullen blanched and then flushed red. "What? Oh! No, no, that's not the news I wished to share." he stammered.

He directed his next statement at Anders.

"I wanted to tell you that I have informed the Grand Cleric of my intent to initiate changes in the Circle. I have exercised my right as Knight-Commander to call a conclave to discuss the injustices that occur in the Circles all over Thedas."

Cullen took a step closer to Anders, placing a companionable hand on his shoulder.

"I would like you to join me."

Four shocked gazes met Cullen's smiling one.

Anders couldn't believe his ears. "You…want to change…the Circle? And you're asking _me_ to help you?"

"I am." Cullen confirmed. "An invitation has already been sent to King Alistair for his assistance." Cullen added. "He was trained as a Templar and he was helped by mages to end the last Blight. He helped you to become a Gray Warden and his voice would have much weight."

Anders was finding it difficult to accept what he was hearing but Cullen looked him right in the eye and Anders knew that the Templar was completely serious.

Justice was reeling from the news as well but Anders felt the spirit's earnest desire to help bring about change no matter who they had to work with.

Allison watched the myriad of emotions ripple across Anders' face, including hope.

"I would be honored to help you." Anders finally said quietly, his feelings too strong to allow him to speak normally.

Cullen squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you." and turned to Allison with a smile.

"There! Am I forgiven for being tardy?" Cullen asked.

Allison pulled Cullen's face towards her and kissed his cheek before embracing him.

"Thank you." she whispered earnestly.

Cullen returned the embrace. "You look beautiful. Congratulations. I hope that the changes we institute will make your lives easier."

"It's the best wedding present I could have asked for." Allison said. "You're a good man Cullen."

He blushed again. "And you are a good woman, and a good friend."

When the crowd saw them hugging they relaxed since the Templar obviously wasn't there to arrest the groom.

When the sun began to set the wedding procession back to town began. Singing and laughter followed as the gathering moved back to Kirkwall to escort the couple back to their home for their wedding night.

As tradition dictated the crowd teasingly called out advice to the couple on how to make their wedding night successful.

Anders had heard many raunchy jokes in his time but even he blushed at some of the ideas thrown out. Allison was torn between laughing and dying of embarrassment at the tawdry talk.

They went through Lowtown but instead of taking the passage down to Darktown they stopped in front of the house Allison had petitioned the Seneschal for.

"What are we doing here Varric?" she asked the dwarf who was looking very self-satisfied.

Varric whipped a key out if his pocket and handed it to Allison.

"I uh, moved some of the paperwork along. I wanted your first night as a married couple to be special." he said.

"What is he talking about?" Anders asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

Varric nudged Allison. "Go on, tell him."

Allison turned to Anders, holding onto the key tightly.

"I wanted to surprise you." she said nervously. "We found this house a while back and I started the process of getting the deed for the house. I had enough gold but it was going to take a few more weeks."

She looked at Varric, her eyes getting moist.

"But a good friend of ours got it done sooner than expected." she said.

"The deed?" Anders asked and then looked at the house in confusion. "The deed to _this _house?"

Allison nodded, feeling anxious. Maybe buying a house without telling Anders was a huge mistake.

"You bought us a _house_?" he repeated.

"Are you mad?" Allison asked worriedly.

Anders stood there stupefied. He couldn't keep up with all the revelations.

"We have a house." Anders said and then looked down at Allison. "We have…a _house_."

Allison saw the happiness beginning to bloom on Anders' face as the news fully hit him.

"We have a house." she assured him.

Anders wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. "Is there anything that you _can't_ do?"

Allison pretended to consider it. "Well, I can't snap my fingers and make fire. But thankfully I have a mage for that."

Anders kissed her. "You _do_ have me."

He put her down and Allison leaned down to kiss Varric. "Thank you so much for making this possible."

Varric was uncharacteristically shy. "It was nothing."

"It was everything Varric." Allison said seriously. "You've been an incredible friend to us."

Isabela laughed at Varric's expression and leaned over to whisper in Allison's ear. "I put something useful into the dresser in your room."

That was a mysterious statement since they didn't have any furniture in the house yet. Isabela pushed Allison and Anders towards the front door.

"Go on. Have fun breaking in all the rooms." Isabela said with a devilish grin.

The crowd began to applaud as Ander and Allison went inside and the applause turned to hoots and hollering when they closed the door behind them.

They both leaned against the door and started laughing.

"Weddings are very interesting in Thedas." Allison commented.

"I think it's been a while since they had one here so they were very enthusiastic." Anders replied with a chuckle.

They stood there for a moment looking around, the idea of having their own home still brand new.

Allison grabbed Anders' hands. "Let me show you around!"

Anders went more than willingly, more moved by his wife's happiness than the actual house.

His _wife_!

Anders thought back to the man he had been back in the Circle; promiscuous and irresponsible. It had never occurred to him that he would have the chance to marry. At one point in his life the idea would have terrified him but not anymore. There was nothing more right than having Allison as his wife.

He could see their life here, in this house. Allison happily trying out her culinary expertise in the kitchen. Sitting by the fire in the living room.

She took his down into the basement, her eyes sparkling with some secret.

"This is why the house was so perfect." she said and gestured towards the door at the end of the large room.

Anders opened it and found himself in familiar territory. The basement opened directly into to Darktown only a few yards away from the clinic.

He couldn't believe it. "How did you…?" he floundered for words.

Allison came up behind him and put her arms around him. "I would never take you way from what you love, what you were meant to do." she said, squeezing him.

Anders wrapped his arms around hers and just stood there letting it all sink in.

"Thank you." he said softly. "Thank for this, for knowing how much this would mean to me."

He turned around and cupped her face in his hands, bringing his lips to hers in a kiss that began as a gentle wave and turned into a simmering fire.

"Tell me the bedroom isn't far." he said roughly.

Allison grinned and pulled him back upstairs to the door that led to their private chamber.

She opened it and stood completely astounded at the sight before them.

Varric and Isabela had been very busy.

The bedroom was medium sized and simple with a hearth, but their friends had found a four-poster bed made of mahogany and covered it with soft sheets and a beautiful handmade quilt.

On the quilt was a note from Tomwise's wife saying that she had wanted to give them something special to thank them for all they did for her family.

"It's beautiful." Allison whispered running a loving hand over it.

"I can't believe they did all of this for us." Anders said looking around at the lovely furnishings before laughing. "And I don't want to know where they got the furniture either."

Allison laughed too. "That's probably best."

She walked over to the matching dresser Isabela had mentioned and opened the top drawer. Inside was a silken gown of white with laces across the bodice. There was a high slit on the side that would bare an impressive amount of thigh. Definitely Isabela's touch Allison thought affectionately.

She put the gown behind her back. "I'm going to go wash up." she said and left Anders by himself in the bedroom.

She practically skipped to the bathing room, locking the door behind her so Anders wouldn't sneak a peek.

This room was a big improvement over the clinic. There was no indoor plumbing like in her world but the upgrades were nice.

There was a kind of modified chamber pot that was enclosed in a decorative covering and sat higher off the ground. Beneath, it led directly to the sewers so there was no need to empty anything anymore.

Varric and Isabela had also brought the tub from the clinic over along with all of the bath oils and powders.

It was perfect. Simple and exactly what she could have wished for.

There was also a bowl to wash in and towels laying on the cabinet and a large looking glass standing in the corner.

Allison carefully removed her wedding dress and washed off in the fresh water. After drying she slid the night gown over her head and thought that Victoria's Secret had nothing on the simple lines of this gown.

She laced up the ties and checked her reflection in the mirror. A long length of leg peeked out of the slit and her bust was enhanced by the lift the laces provided.

Her husband was probably waiting for her.

Her _husband_! Allison mused over that word. Who would have thought that she would find her soul mate in another dimension?

It changed the entire tenor of their relationship. They were lovers and friends but so much more now.

Allison walked back to the bedroom and stepped almost shyly inside.

Anders had removed his coat and his shirt but turned when he heard her enter.

For the second time that day his breath escaped him. He couldn't speak as Allison walked towards him.

With every other step a delectable view of her leg came into view and Anders swallowed hard.

The ties at her bosom begged to be undone but he wanted to savor the moment before devouring her.

"You look so beautiful." he said softly, reaching for her at the same time she reached for him.

"I thought you looked quite debonair in that jacket today yourself." she replied, running her hands over his muscled chest and feeling his heart thud against her palm.

Anders smiled. "I feel like this is the first time."

Allison wound her arms around his neck, coming up on her tiptoes. "It is. It's the first time like this."

Anders rested his hands at her waist. "Have I told you that I love you today?"

Allison tilted her head, thinking about it. "I could stand to hear it again."

Anders bent his head and kissed the pulse at her throat, then her chin, then her cheek.

"I love you." he whispered.

Allison turned his head with her right hand and brought her lips to his. "I love you too. So much."

In a move he knew would make her giggle, Anders lifted Allison into his arms, grinning at her when she squealed.

He deposited her on the bed, quickly covering her body with his own. His skin felt overheated and his hands were trembling a bit as desire sang through his veins.

Allison's body melted against his like they were one and he felt that rightness of being home that had only happened when he met her.

Their kisses were fevered and almost desperate as two people who had almost lost each other over and over would be.

As they melded together, It was like falling blind into the sun and being happy to be consumed by the scorching heat.

Anders collapsed on top of Allison and felt her arms come around him.

In the low light of the candles Anders traced the small scar on Allison's chest that had been left by the blade that had pierced her.

He pressed a tender kiss to the slightly pink skin there and felt Allison stroke his hair.

She knew what he was thinking.

He raised a little and took her mouth again. "I love you. I'll never let anyone take you from me."

"They'd have a fight on their hands if they tried." Allison promised.

She looked around the room as the candlelight flickered. "We're home now and nothing will change that."

Anders rested his head once more over her heart, the sound lulling him into contentment.

"My home is wherever you are."


	44. Chapter 44 Sometimes The Good Guys Win

***People who played DA:O and gave Wynne every present will recognize the book mentioned here.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 44 – Sometimes The Good Guys Win

The conclave Cullen assembled had been in session for six weeks. Allison had listened each day as Anders recounted the arguments and accusations and discussions.

He had been surprisingly impressed by Cullen's command of the situation, especially when he was surrounded by Grand Clerics, First Enchanters, Templar Commanders from other districts and the King of Ferelden himself.

Cullen showed respect but he never cowered before the powerful figures around him. Anders had been constantly on alert, sure that at any moment, faced by the overwhelming power of the assembly, he would be taken into custody despite his status as a Gray Warden.

Justice had been restless and anxious as well, anticipating an attack. When Cullen had introduced Anders to the group of representatives the look of revulsion on their faces when they realized he was apostate was almost comical.

Anders had tensed but Cullen had placed a hand on his shoulder and began outlining Anders' deeds as a healer to the refugees and his role in ending Alrik's reign of torture and madness.

Many of the attendees were unmoved but Anders did catch nods of approval from the other mages.

King Alistair was silent during Cullen's speech and during the ensuing arguments. Finally, he started to smile and then the King started to laugh outright. 

The group was silenced as they stared at him, mouths open, some sneering.

Alistair had actually had to wipe tears from him eyes before he could speak.

"I apologize." Alistair said, sounding anything _but_ apologetic. "I just find it amusing that so many of you think you're going to fight this change."

Some of the clerics sputtered but Alistair held up a hand using his royal authority to silence the room.

"This has been coming for a very long time." he continued and leveled a dangerous look at the clerics and Templars.

"Are you really going to pretend that you don't know what happens to mages within the "safety" of the Circle?" Alistair accused. "They are beaten, raped, under constant scrutiny and suspicion and they are forbidden to use their powers to protect themselves."

The mages assembled flushed in anger and glared at the clerics and Templars while the clerics and Templars looked away in shame.

Alistair wasn't done yet.

"Can you imagine what it's like for your earliest memories to be full of people telling you that your very existence is an affront to the Maker?" he said disdainfully.

Anders had been speechless. It was rare for a non-mage to grasp the terrible burden mages were under and to have a former Templar say such things right to the faces of those that were responsible was unheard of.

Elthina was strangely quiet but the Grand Cleric from Ferelden was full of insulted offense as he stood to face the King.

"With all due respect Your Highness, I believe that your…close association with the mages during the Blight has colored your opinion." the man sniffed.

Alistair simply raised a brow. "And I suppose the fact that Andraste herself was a mage should just be ignored?"

There were gasps of horror before a stunned silence fell over the entire room.

Even Anders was astonished. What the King had said was considered outright blasphemy, but Anders had no idea what the King was talking about.

Cullen seemed taken aback and unsure how to proceed. He looked from Alistair to the others and shifted in his seat. He had not been prepared for this.

It was Elthina who spoke first. The elderly woman leaned forward in her seat and placed her hands under her chin, considering Alistair with shrewd eyes.

"And what, Sire, makes you say that?" she asked calmly.

Alistair returned Elthina's gaze and the two seemed to be having a wordless conversation. At one point Alistair grinned and Elthina nodded and sat back once more.

From a leather carrier at his side, Alistair pulled out a book and placed it on the table. Anders had leaned forward to look at it and heard several of the clerics murmuring frantically to each other.

The book was singed as if it had been pulled from a fire.

_The Search for the True Prophet._

The appearance of the book had a significant effect on the mood of the room. The clerics, with the exception of Elthina became very uncomfortable and began calling for a recess. The Templar Commanders looked confused but the clerics refused to answer their questions.

Cullen observed this and realized that whatever the book was, King Alistair had just shifted the power in the room and it wasn't in the Circle's favor.

Cullen stood and called the conclave to order.

"It seems that the clerics have something they need to tell us." he said looking at his fellow Templars and brooking no opposition from the clerics.

"We will reconvene in two hours." Cullen had announced.

The clerics had looked almost frightened but Elthina had looked resigned and maybe even relieved.

Alistair had watched the procession and then grinned at Anders, patting him on the back.

"Don't worry Anders. I think you'll find that when the merry party returns, their attitude will be much more…accepting." the King said ominously.

Anders had run his fingers over the aged cover of the book. "Do you mind if I take a look?"

"Only if you're ready to have your life changed." Alistair joked.

"I'm getting used to it these days." Anders had said wryly.

That first night Anders had come home looking staggered and shaken. Allison had made him sit down and checked him over for injuries but he had assured her that he was fine.

And then he had told her about the book.

The narrative provided strong proof that Andraste had been, not the Maker's chosen, but a powerful mage. It had all made sense: the Chantry's fanatical protection of Andraste's reputation, the strange an unquestionable power that her ashes had to heal people.

And the clerics of Thedas had known all along.

When the Templars had come back there had been a sea of pale faces and waves of burning anger. Cullen had obviously been unnerved and he had scheduled the next meeting for two days later.

As Alistair had predicted, the revelation about Andraste drastically changed the path of conversation.

The clerics and the Chantry wanted to protect themselves more than they wanted to risk the truth coming out by fighting against Cullen, Alistair and Anders.

Change was coming to the Circle.

…

After a month and half Allison was seeing the effect the arrival of King Alistair was having on the refugees. Alistair had visited Darktown and his anger at seeing the plight of his people had been fierce.

Alistair had immediately started making arrangements to facilitate the return of the refugees back to Ferelden for any who wanted it.

It would take time but murmurs of hope could now be heard in Darktown.

Anders was doing clinic hours while the conclave was on a break for the weekend.

Allison needed some girl time and dropped in on Isabela at the Hanged Man. She was amused that she had missed playing Wicked Grace with her friend even though Isabela cheated. The soup kitchen and been keeping her very busy and she wanted to take time to hang out with Isabela while she could.

In the first round of cards Isabela creamed Allison but Allison came back strongly on the next hand winning back her gold and taking a good chuck of Isabela's as well.

Allison stood up with a woot and laughed, doing a little dance. Isabela choked on laugh, stuck her tongue out at her friend and started to say something scathing about luck being with fools but the comment was lost when Allison's eyes rolled up in her head and she fell.

Isabela couldn't catch her in time and Allison's head slammed into the corner of the table before she crumpled to the floor.

"Allison!" Isabela knelt next to her and swore as the blood began pooling under her head.

Allison began to twitch and Isabela swore more. The patrons at the tavern had gathered around, some in concern some in drunken curiosity.

Isabela pointed at one of the men who stood looking worried.

"You! Go down to the clinic and get Anders, now!" she yelled.

She pointed at his friend. "You! Help me get her upstairs!"

The man hurried to obey and they carried Allison's still shuddering body up to Isabela's room.

They placed her on the bed and Isabela helplessly covered her with a blanket.

At the clinic Anders was just finishing putting a splint on an arm he had healed when a man burst into the room, looking around before his eyes found Anders.

"Healer! Isabela sent me for you. Your lady's had an accident."

Anders was already moving, grabbing poultices and potions. "What happened?"

Anders tried not to panic but his mind imagined the worst. He couldn't help but feel that the universe kept trying to take Allison from him and someday it would win.

Anders ran to the Hanged Man and took the stairs two at a time, his heart in his throat.

He pushed Isabela's door open and saw Allison on the bed, Isabela holding her hand.

"She just stopped twitching but her head won't stop bleeding." Isabela said removing a blood-soaked cloth from Allison's forehead.

Anders placed his hands on Allison's head wound and searched for damage to her skull, thanking the Maker that there was none. He carefully mended the wound while Isabela continued to mop up blood.

The bleeding stopped once the injury was healed and Anders focused his magic on her body to make sure she was alright after the seizure.

"I don't understand!" Anders said in frustration. "The medicine I made for her has been working. Why did this happen?"

"I don't know." Isabela said patting Allison's hair. "She seemed fine and then she just fainted."

Anders frowned. "And the seizure started _after_ she hit her head?"

"Yes." Isabela confirmed.

"Then maybe the head injury caused the seizure?" Anders theorized.

He held his hands over Allison's body and sought out any other illnesses or injuries that would be invisible to his eyes.

He jerked as his magic was reflected back at him.

Anders was used to that happening when Allison had episodes in the early days but he was puzzled as to the location. He wasn't near her head and yet her body was throwing his magic back at him like a shield.

"What the hell?" he muttered, concentrating harder and forcing his magic past the barrier that was fighting him.

Isabela caught Anders' shoulders when he staggered backwards, pale and sweating.

"Are you alright?" she asked, watching Anders' pupils dilate. "Tell me you're not going to faint too?"

Anders shook Isabela off and put his hands back over Allison. Isabela could hear him talking to himself.

"It's not possible…it can't be…it can't be…"

"What _can't_ be!" Isabela shouted. "Is she alright or not?"

Anders shut Isabela's ranting out and closed his eyes bringing the image more into focus.

There was some kind of disturbance interfering with his concentration and Anders had to center his will to break through it.

_It couldn't be!_

In his mind Anders saw a bubble, and inside the bubble a tiny, undefined figure laid curled inside Allison's womb.

His breath came in quick pants because his mind couldn't process what he was seeing.

Because what he was seeing was impossible.

Tears filled his eyes and spilled over onto to his cheeks but Anders barely noticed it. He shook his head as if to clear it and refocused his energy while his heart tried to climb out of his chest.

Maybe the desire of a lifetime was making him hallucinate?

Anders took deep breaths so his head would stop spinning and made himself become very still.

He silenced the rushing in his ears. He didn't hear the ruckus and shouting downstairs. He didn't hear Isabela yelling at him.

Anders hushed every external sound and tuned his entire body to the small flutter he could see in his mind.

He held his own breath as a sound echoed in his mind and resonated in every fiber of his soul.

A heartbeat.


	45. Chapter 45 Unexpected

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 45 - Unexpected

Anders had left Isabela behind at the Hanged Man and carried Allison, still unconscious, back to their home in Lowtown. His mind was so splintered he couldn't grasp any of his thoughts before they skittered off leaving him reeling.

Anders laid Allison in their bed, covering her in the beautiful quilt that had been a wedding present almost two months ago, and sat in the large chair that was by the fireplace in their bedroom.

He counted slowly in his head while his heart pounded loudly in his ears.

_1…2…3…4…5…6…_

_There was a baby!_

The shock of the realization hit him again and Anders saw that his hands were shaking. He had a moment to wonder why the room was blurring before he realized that he was crying.

He was going to have a child.

Anders hadn't let himself dream about that for many years. In the beginning it had been because he was in the Circle. Mages were not allowed to marry or have families but Anders had been young and cocky and the idea of not having a family hadn't bothered him that much. He had spent the first years of his young manhood engaging in clandestine meetings with pretty mages in dark corners. Flings that were as brief as they were meaningless.

It hadn't been until Anders' fifth escape that the true loss had finally penetrated his consciousness and with it a painful grief had afflicted him.

He had been on the run for many days, sneaking into small towns and searching people's trash for food. Sometimes he was able to charm a lonely woman into a romp in her bed and a bowl of hot food. It had been a terrible time but Anders had been more concerned with being free than his dignity.

One day, Anders had been skirting the outskirts of a hamlet that was surrounded by farms. He had heard the sound of children playing and hidden behind a large tree to remain unnoticed. Two little boys had been chasing each other across the green grass and soon after them followed a little girl still in diapers, who tried to keep up with her brothers on wobbly, chubby legs.

Anders had found himself entranced by the scene and had drifted slightly away from the tree to follow the children's play. Their father, a large, burly man, had come down the porch steps and smiled as he watched his children cavorting. The man had scooped up the little girl in his arms and swung her around while she giggled wildly and Anders had felt a pang in his heart.

That was something he could never have. Even if he managed to stay free of the Circle he would always be on the run. He couldn't have family while he was hiding, trying to stay ahead of the Templars.

Later, when Anders was finally free because of being conscripted by the Wardens, his hopes had been dashed again when he'd heard from other recruits that the Gray Warden's taint made having children impossible. Anders remembered making some asinine joke about not wanting to be tied down but he'd had to find a private place where he could grieve alone.

When he had joined with Justice, the spirit had memoires of Kristoff holding his wife Aura after they had failed to conceive a child. This seemed to only confirm what Anders already knew.

And so he had buried that hope and buried the pain that came with it.

When he had come to Kirkwall Anders had taken comfort in healing the children that were brought to him; seeing their smiles and listening to their chatter as he stitched up cuts or set broken bones had given him some happiness. But they weren't _his _children. Anders had even considered trying to adopt one of the parentless refugee children but knowing that he could have to get up and run at any time had made Anders give that up.

When Allison had come to Thedas he had been so happy and so consumed by falling in love that the secret wish hadn't occurred to him until the day he and Allison helped Tomwise's wife give birth.

Anders had played that scene over and over in his head; working together to bring a new life into the world, the lovely way Allison's face had glowed when the baby was finally placed in Greta's arms and the mother had looked into her baby's face for the first time.

Allison had felt uplifted by the experience but Anders had felt bitter and hurt that they would never have that with each other. He had been able to deal with the loss when it was just him, but when he had finally fallen in love the desire to have a child had returned and the wound had reopened.

Now…

The image of that small life nestled inside Allison's womb pushed out every other thought. There was no more grief, there was only joy and a strangely intense peace.

Anders purposefully sought out Justice who was being too quiet considering the circumstances. It was almost as if the spirit had blocked Anders out and it had him worried.

Anders closed his eyes and concentrated which was something he normally did not have to do to speak to his friend.

"Justice?"

"**Leave me alone Anders. I do not wish to speak with you right now**."

"What's going on? Are you upset about the baby?" Anders asked, troubled by the idea.

"**NO**!" Justice's reply was immediate and fervent. "**I…I am experiencing difficulty with my emotions. I wish to be left alone**."

Anders wasn't giving up that easily. "We are friends Justice and more than family. Talk to me."

There was silence for several minutes but Anders waited patiently.

"**I am…pleased**." The spirit finally admitted.

Anders smiled. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"**Pleased is perhaps not a descriptive enough term, however my feelings seem to be overwhelming my logic**." Justice complained.

"They tend to do that." Anders said sympathetically.

"**In sharing your body and your mind I have come to know your deepest thoughts and desires. It …pleases me that you will be a father. This is part of the future that we wanted for all mages; the chance to have families if they wished. It feels as if we have finally achieved something very important**." Justice explained.

Anders thought about his unborn child. "Yes, it is very important."

"**It is gratifying to see you truly content**." Justice added before receding once again.

Anders lifted his head and watched Allison sleep. There were some things he needed to figure out, like how did the pregnancy happen despite the taint? Why was it so difficult for him to sense the baby? What was that field that had repelled his magic? And most of all…how in the hell was he going to tell Allison that she was pregnant?

Eventually Allison began to stir and Anders mixed a packet of herbs in a broth to help with the headache she typically had after a seizure. It had disconcerted him to have to take into account if the mixture was safe for the baby. That would take some getting used to.

Allison's breathing changed as she woke and Anders sat on the bed and dabbed her forehead with a moist cloth.

"Anders?" she said, her voice slightly rough.

"Yes Love. Everything's fine. You had a spell but you're home now." Anders consoled. He held the bowl up to her lips. "Here, drink this slowly. It will help you to feel better."

"I remember." Allison said, sipping the broth carefully. "That hasn't happened in a while. Of course what will one more person passing out at the Hanged Man matter?"

Anders tried to laugh but he was already feeling guilty because Allison had no idea _why_ she had actually fainted.

When she was done with the broth Anders helped Allison to sit up and placed a thick pillow behind her back, making sure she was comfortable.

His hands were getting clammy and he knew that he was failing to hide his nervousness.

"What is it?" Allison asked, missing nothing. "You look like something's wrong. What happened? Is this about me passing out? Is there something wrong?"

Her voice was started to rise out of agitation and Anders hurried to calm her.

"No, no! Nothing's…wrong." he said, having no idea how he was going to break the news to her.

"Don't lie to me buddy!" Allison snapped. "It's all over your face. Something _is_ wrong so spit it out!"

Anders said a quick prayer to the Maker and dove in.

"I was scanning you after you fell and my magic was having trouble penetrating your body." he began.

Allison folded her arms impatiently. "I know that. You told me the epilepsy doesn't like your magic. That's not new."

She was frowning at him and Anders just wanted to kiss her but he had to get through this first.

"Yes, but, I wasn't scanning your _head_. There was some kind of barrier reflecting my magic back and I had to fight to get through it." he explained.

Allison lost the frown and her expression became concerned. "That doesn't sound good. What does that mean? What was it?"

It was now or never, Anders thought and he realized that he didn't know if Allison would be happy about the baby or not. The idea took some of the shine off his own excitement and uneasiness took its place.

Anders took one of Allison's hands in his own and reached out with the other to cup her face.

"Allison…when I scanned you, I saw something inside you, something unexpected." Anders said calmly.

Allison's eyes grew wide and Anders thought that perhaps she had gotten to the conclusion on her own.

"Was it a demon!? Did one of those things get inside me? Oh my God!" Allison shrieked and started checking her body.

"No, no, that's not it." Anders said and started laughing which relieved some of the pressure he was feeling.

Allison stopped checking herself and made a face at him. "Well if you're laughing it can't be that serious."

Anders sobered a bit. "Actually, it is very serious."

Allison leaned closer to his face and looked alarmed. "You've been _crying_!"

She grasped his face in both her hands and peered at him anxiously.

"Are you sick? Did you get hurt?" she asked scrambling to her knees on the bed.

They were face-to-face now, only inches apart. So close that he could see the flecks of blue in her gray eyes.

"We're going to have baby."

Allison blinked slowly, twice.

"Who is?" she asked.

Anders didn't dare to even let his lips so much as _twitch_.

"We are." he answered.

Allison looked very confused. "And how are we going to do that?"

Anders felt just as confused in trying to answer her question. He didn't think she had really _heard_ him yet.

"You're pregnant." he supplied helpfully and watched her face to see the moment understanding dawned, but it didn't.

Instead she snorted and then laughed.

"No I'm not." she assured him.

Anders hadn't thought that he'd have to convince his wife that she was pregnant.

"You _are_ Love. I saw the baby." he said.

Allison's brow wrinkled. "That's not possible. You said that Gray Wardens couldn't have kids. So I _can't_ be pregnant."

She said it but her face was starting to register some kind awareness of what he was saying.

"Apparently I was wrong." Anders said feeling the explanation was inadequate.

"You were _wrong_?" Allison repeated. "You were _wrong_!?"

All at once the truth seemed to hit her. Allison's expression went from shocked to panicked to fearful in about three seconds. She hopped up from the bed before Anders could catch her and started pacing.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! This is impossible. Oh my god." Allison had spanned the space of the room twice already.

Anders went to her but she put her hands up to ward him off.

"No! I need to…just _don't_ for a minute okay?" she said keeping her distance. "I can't handle you and this right now."

Anders backed away and sat back down on the bed. He didn't let her rejection hurt him. She had a right to feel shocked and off-balance. He'd at least had some time to start getting used to the idea and a child was something that he had wanted. Maybe Allison never had.

She started pacing again, wrapping her arms around herself as if she needed to be held together. Anders wanted to be the one holding her but now wasn't the right time apparently. She needed to work through it on her own.

"I can't believe this." Allison said, speaking to herself. "A baby? How the hell am I supposed to have baby _here_? It's the freaking dark ages! Oh my god!" She winced. "I have to push a human being out of my body in the freaking dark ages! I don't even have WebMD!"

Allison covered her face with her hands while she walked and Anders had to force himself not to go to her again.

"I can't do this. How am I supposed to _do_ this?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. "There's no hospitals, no ultrasounds. There are no Lamaze classes!" she counted off on her fingers.

"I don't even know what the hell Lamaze is but I know I'm supposed to figure it out!" she cried.

Allison turned and looked at Anders suddenly, her face pale, her eyes huge.

"There are no _classes_ Anders! I need classes, I need the internet, I need an epidural! There are no epidurals here!"

Anders had no idea what she was talking about. Ultrasounds? Lamaze? Internet?

"Classes? What kind of classes?" he asked, trying to keep up with her disjointed speech.

"Exactly!" she shouted triumphantly as if he had made her point. "You can't do this without classes!"

Allison gasped and rushed over, grabbing Anders by the collar of his robe, almost hauling him off the bed.

"I have no books Anders!" she said hysterically. "I need _books_!"

Anders was slightly scared of her just then so he attempted to placate her.

"We can get you any books you like, just tell me what you want." he said carefully as if he was facing a wild animal.

"You don't have them!" Allison wailed, looking lost. She looked at her hands, surprised that they held him and let go.

She walked to the window in their room, looking out at the sky which was light purple as the sun made its way to the horizon. She put her forehead against the cool glass and rested it there, saying nothing.

Anders couldn't stand the distance between them anymore so he ignored her earlier warning and came to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. He could feel them shaking and knew that she was crying silently. He wanted to alleviate her fears but he didn't know how.

"Listen to me. You're not alone in this." Anders said earnestly, in her ear. "We're together and we'll do this together."

Allison shook her head miserably. "How am I supposed to have a baby here Anders? This place is still strange to me in so many ways. I haven't even seen life outside Kirkwall. I don't know what the world is like out there. It's one thing for me to live here, but I wasn't expecting to have children. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to do this."

He kissed the delicate shell of her ear. "You think I do?"

Allison looked up at him in the reflection of the window. "Is that why you were crying?" she asked.

"No Love." Anders kissed her temple. "I was crying because I've wanted a child so badly and I couldn't believe it was real."

Allison turned, looking dismayed. "But…but you never said anything. I mean, you warned me when we got together that you couldn't have children and I know it bothered you, but I had no idea you wanted them so much."

"I know. I couldn't handle talking about it, it hurt too much." Anders admitted.

Allison thought about that for a long time and Anders remained quiet so she could absorb everything.

"So…you're happy about the…" she swallowed and took a deep breath. "baby?"

Anders did laugh then, he couldn't help it. "I am ecstatic about the…" he mimicked her actions. "baby."

Allison shoved him a little and he hoped that perhaps the worst was over.

Allison looked down at her still flat stomach and put a trembling hand over her abdomen. Anders could feel the fear in her so he put his hand on top of hers where their child rested.

"You're not alone. We'll learn together. This child was made in love and they will always know how much they are loved. That's what's most important." he said softly.

Allison nodded and took several steadying breaths. "It's going to take me a while to get a grip on this Anders. I'm not quite as ready for this as you are." she sighed and her face became apprehensive. "You said you saw it…them…ummm you know what I mean?"

"Mmmhm." Anders smiled wistfully at the memory, his arms going around her.

Allison saw his features transform and wondered at it.

"You really _are_ happy aren't you?" she said feeling a little amused at the sappy look on his face. It made things a little easier and she tried to relax in his embrace.

Anders allowed himself to grin when he felt her lean against him.

"It was very cute." he said knowingly.

Allison snorted. "It can't be that cute." she disagreed, trying for levity to calm herself. "I took sex ed in school and since I'm not showing yet I can't be that far along which means it probably looks like a worm."

Anders held her at arms length, pretending to be offended. "Don't say that about our baby!" he said dramatically which had Allison laughing as he'd hoped.

He kissed her then, the way he'd wanted to since she woke up. His mouth took hers urgently, all kidding aside as his hands slid up and tangled in her hair. He leaned her back against the window so he could deepen the kiss, showing her with his mouth what he wanted to do to her body.

A knock at the front door had him cursing while Allison looked dazed and to his eyes, incredibly sexy.

"I'll get rid of them." he said. "Stay there. I plan on keeping you busy all night."

Anders practically tore the door off its hinges and was ready to tell whoever it was to go away, but as soon as he saw them he knew that wouldn't be possible.

"King Alistair?" Anders said. "What are you doing here?"

Alistair stood smiling and looking completely out of place in Lowtown wearing his royal armor.

"I heard your wife had fallen ill and I wanted to check on her." Alistair said.

"Oh, well…come in." Anders said, stepping back with regret that he would have to wait to make love to his wife.

Alistair waved the two royal guards away. "Go and take your ease for a while. I wish to speak to my friend alone."

The guards didn't look too happy about the order but they obeyed.

Alistair took in their home and smiled. "This looks cozy and I bet you never get lost trying to find where you put your shoes. That happens to me all the time in the palace. And instead of telling me where my shoes are, they just buy me new ones."

Anders rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I'm sure it's very hard being king. You have my sympathies."

Alistair laughed and slapped Anders on the back. "So, how is your wife? I've been wanting to meet her, is she well enough?"

"I am." Allison said, stepping into the room. "It's nice to meet you Your Highness." Allison paused and looked stumped. "Am I supposed to bow or do women curtsey here?"

Alistair walked over to her and bent to kiss her hand. "Neither. Let's not stand on ceremony shall we? Anders is a friend and it would make me feel better if you called me Alistair."

Allison took to his easy going manner immediately. "Alistair then. It's nice to finally meet you."

"And you. I'm glad to see you're well." Alistair said noticing the look that passed between the couple.

"Actually…"Anders said, slightly uncomfortable. "Perhaps you can explain something to us." Anders motioned for Alistair to sit down in the living room.

Allison and Anders sat together on the chaise lounge while Alistair took a comfortable chair next to the fire.

"This looks like it will be good, the way you two are squirming. What did you do, get her pregnant?" Alistair joked and then saw that he was right.

"Well! Congratulations!" Alistair said cheerfully. "Why do you look so flustered?"

"Because we don't know how it happened." Anders replied.

Alistair's eyes twinkled devilishly. "Well first you find a girl you like and then you both get naked. You put your…"

"That's not what I meant Alistair!" Anders interrupted irritably. "I was told that Gray Wardens couldn't have children."

Alistair frowned. "Who told you that?"

"It was a common story among the recruits in Amaranthine." Anders said.

Alistair sighed. "The recruits. Always gossiping like old women." he waved a hand towards them. "Obviously you can see that it isn't true."

"Yes, well, it would have been nice to know beforehand." Anders said, holding Allison's hand which was still tense.

"Got quite a shock did you?" Alistair teased. "You would have found out anyway when news of the Queen's pregnancy gets out."

"Elyssa is pregnant? That's wonderful!" Anders congratulated and turned to explain to Allison. "The Queen is also a Gray Warden so this news is especially unexpected considering they both carry the taint."

"Congratulations Alistair." Allison said. "I guess the rumors about the taint aren't true at all."

"Well, we've been working at having a baby for a long time. Rough times too. I was so tired of being used for sex." Alistair said, pouting like a child, before Anders burst out laughing.

Alistair smiled too. "Elyssa had almost given up hope before we got lucky." Alistair admitted. "So the taint _does_ make things more difficult, just not entirely impossible."

"Then I'm really happy for you." Allison said sincerely.

Alistair stretched. "Me too. Now Eamon will stop doing fertility dances naked outside our chambers."

Allison's mouth fell open before Anders squeezed her hand. "He's joking Love."

"Oh. That's good to know." Allison said in relief.

Alistair considered Anders through narrowed eyes. "I'm surprised you wouldn't have anticipated this possibility. Doesn't that Fade spirit you're roommates with affect the progress of the taint in your blood?"

Anders blanched. "How…how do you know about that?" he stammered.

Alistair looked very self-satisfied. "One has to know these things when one is king." he said blandly as he studied his fingernails. He looked up and winked at Allison who laughed.

"I guess the secret is out." she said. "He's not in any trouble is he?"

"Only the Gray Wardens know. You don't have to worry Anders." Alistair assured him. "We found out about your joining and some of the more scholarly Wardens wanted to study the effect it had on slowing the death we all face."

"I understand." Anders said solemnly.

Alistair's face brightened. "But, let us not speak of such things at a time like this." Alistair said, suddenly changing gears. "We are to be fathers! Let us be merry!"

Anders couldn't fight the huge grin that broke out on his face, nor did he want to. He looked at Allison who sat with a small, nervous smile though she still seemed overwhelmed by all that had happened. Anders couldn't blame her, it was her body that was going to be changing for the next eight months. He was incredibly excited but he needed to help his wife get there as well.

_His wife. His child._ This was what happiness felt like.

Alistair stayed with them for a few hours and he and Anders recounted stories of their adventures as Gray Wardens much to Allison's entertainment.

The visit had been distracting and Allison had welcomed it, but once Alistair was gone she felt the tension invade her body again.

She started pouring water for a bath hoping that the warm water would soothe her nerves and give her time to think.

She climbed in and rested her head against raised edge of the tub, closing her eyes to block out the outside world.

"Do you want to be alone?" Anders asked, watching her.

Allison thought about it for a minute and decided that she didn't.

"No, would you like to join me?" she kept her eyes closed but heard the rustling of clothes as Anders got undressed.

He got in the opposite side of the tub facing her and regarded her with grave eyes.

"I'm sorry if overwhelmed you with my excitement." he said. "I wasn't really thinking about how hard it would be on you to find out this way."

Allison shook her head. "No, don't apologize. I'm glad that you're excited since I'm handling it so badly."

Anders reached out and caressed her knee. "You're not handling it badly. I once had a patient who hit her husband with a chamber pot when she found out she was pregnant."

Allison snickered. "Are you just saying that?"

"No, believe me. I'm the one who had to clean up the mess and I remember it vividly." Anders said with a frown.

Allison laughed. She loved his face; all that charm and humor and kindness. Abruptly her mind started picking out parts of Anders' face and she wondered which features their baby would have. The turn of her thoughts made her previously relaxed posture go rigid. Anders noticed immediately and leaned forward to tug at her hand.

"What's wrong? You look like you saw a ghost." he asked, rubbing her hand with his thumb.

"I…I started wondering what…they'll look like. Which parts of you they'll have, which parts of me." she answered. "It scared me because this is happening so fast."

Anders' expression softened and he couldn't hide the yearning in his voice. "I know what parts of you I want them to have."

"Oh really?" she said, curious.

He nodded. "Yes. That lovely mass of dark hair with the slight curl; your eyes which can be stormy or bright depending on your mood."

Allison flushed and Anders tilted her face with his other hand. "And yes, that too."

Allison leaned into the warm hand on her cheek and closed her eyes again, finding peace there.

"I was thinking that I'd like for them to have _your_ eyes actually." she said, still keeping her eyes closed. "And that handsome mouth."

Anders chuckled. "As long as they don't have my nose!"

Back in bed, Allison laid her head on Anders' chest. "Are we really going to be alright?" she asked quietly.

Anders shifted and pressed a kiss to her belly. "We're going to more than alright. We're going to be amazing."

"I hope so." she said sounding unsure. "I was wondering about the field you mentioned, the one that you had to force your way past?"

"Yes, I've been thinking about that too." Anders replied. "I need to take another look. I've only seen him once."

It took Allison a minute to understand that he wanted to look inside her. "Oh, sure. Go ahead." She put her arms to the side, feeling exposed and slightly ridiculous.

She laid very still and tried not to freak out at the thought that Anders was examining their baby. It was easier to just remain quiet and not think about it too hard.

"Hmmm." he murmured.

"What does that mean?" Allison asked. Even though the concept of being pregnant was difficult to digest, she didn't want anything to happen to the baby either. It was theirs.

"I'm not sure. Let me try something else." Anders said distractedly.

He moved his hands around over her stomach and Allison watched him concentrate. It was hard not to fidget so she played with rune configurations in her head instead.

Her attention was brought back when Anders sat back suddenly with a look of astonishment.

"I don't believe it." he said staring at her stomach like he was expecting something to happen.

"Ok, that look on your face is making me nervous. What is going on?" Allison demanded.

"I…it…I…sense magic." Anders said completely confounded. "But that's impossible!"

"What do you mean you sense magic? You mean coming from the baby?" Allison asked, beginning to understand why he looked so astounded.

"Yes. But it can't be. Mages don't have mana or show any magical abilities until around age five. I shouldn't be able to sense it already." Anders explained.

Allison felt cold as worry eroded the air of fragile contentment that had begun to settle around them.

"So there's something wrong with him?" she asked, her voice shaky. She pulled the covers up as if that would protect them.

Anders held up a hand. "Wait, let me think for a moment."

Allison rested her head on her knees and thought how strange it was that a moment ago she had been trying not to think about being pregnant and now she was scared that something could be wrong.

Anders' expression eventually cleared which encouraged her.

"I don't believe there's any reason to worry." he said. "If you think about it, there's never been a child like ours before."

Allison pondered that statement and understood what he meant. "You mean a child conceived by someone from another dimension and a mage?"

"Yes." Anders agreed. "And if you think about what Alistair said, we can't discount Justice's role in this as well."

That made Allison sit up straight and Anders felt Justice's own surprise at this theory.

"Justice?" Allison said.

"**What have I to do with it**?" Justice asked with a distinct edge of discomfort at the talk of intimate matters.

Anders answered them both. "Think about it. Justice is part of me. We don't know how that might affect conception."

Allison looked down at her stomach with a bit of wariness. "Are you saying I'm carrying some sort of Fade Baby!?"

The term struck Anders as so funny that he started laughing and couldn't stop.

Neither Allison nor Justice appreciated his paroxysm of humor and Anders huffed when a pillow smacked him in the head.

Justice wished she had punched him instead.

"I'm sorry!" Anders tried to control himself. "I am. It was just the way you said it."

Allison was glaring at him and he was contrite though he still smiled as he tugged her towards him and trapped her in his arms.

"Don't be angry. When I examined the fetus everything looked normal. Perfect actually. Our child may be unique but they're healthy." he nuzzled her neck. "Am I forgiven?"

"I'll let you know." Allison grumbled. "But you really think everything's okay?"

Anders kissed her soundly for several seconds before pulling back to stroke her hair.

"I _really_ think that everything is okay." he promised.

Allison inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"So…we're having a baby."


	46. Chapter 46 Moments In Time

***As you know the story is almost over so I wanted to explain this chapter. I'm not going to go write about everything that happens during Allison's pregnancy. That would be a much longer story and it was never my intention to do so. Instead I'm capturing specific "moments in time" that are either special or significant or perhaps funny, and putting them in one chapter. You'll see headings that split up each occurrence so you know when things are taking place. I would have preferred to just jump ahead to the birth but I figured I couldn't get away with that lol.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 46 – Moments In Time

Anders had neglected to tell Allison that Isabela was there when he found out she was pregnant and that he had left the woman behind at the Hanged Man in a complete state of shock.

Allison imagined that Isabela might be as floored as she herself had been, so the next day she made Anders go with her to apologize for fleeing the scene like that.

The Hanged Man was unusually full for a work day and the crowd had changed a bit. Many refugees had started making their way back to Ferelden after King Alistair had visited Darktown and told them that home was waiting for them.

With the refugee population going down, ships had been allowed to dock in Kirkwall bringing new visitors and people wishing to experience life in the Free Marches.

The change in situation was reflected in the array of patrons seated in the tavern. There was more color, more lively conversation from newcomers who were in Kirkwall, not because they _had_ to be, but because they _wanted_ to be.

Allison found the change invigorating and her mood was buoyed by the atmosphere. It seemed as if she had gone through every emotion possible in the short span of a few hours and it was exhausting.

Isabela was at their usual table, as was Varric and she spotted Allison and Anders when they came in.

There was a sudden awkwardness as Isabela stood up and looked Allison over as if checking for injuries. Finding none, the pirate just stood there looking unsure. Allison, seeing her response, also reacted by standing in the middle of the room fidgeting instead of walking over.

As the two women eyes each other warily, Anders and Varric eyed the women with confusion.

Anders leaned down and whispered in Allison's ear. "What are you two doing? You act as if you've never seen each other before."

"I don't know. She looks weirded out. Maybe she's mad about the baby. Maybe she doesn't like kids." Allison whispered back, feeling ill at the thought that she might lose her best friend over this.

At the table Varric took a slow drink of his ale. "Well Rivaini, what's your move? You've mastered the art of awkward looks. What's next?"

Isabela was frozen on the spot. Everything about this was uncomfortable. Her friend stood there across the room, shifting from side-to-side, and she couldn't make herself move.

"What am I supposed to say to her?" Isabela replied, making Varric sigh.

"How about, congratulations? People usually go with that one." he answered blandly.

"What if she's not happy about it? Maybe she doesn't _want_ to be congratulated." Isabela said, trying to read Allison's expression. Her friend was biting her lip which meant that she was nervous, but about what in particular Isabela didn't know.

"Well, you'd probably have to _talk_ to her to figure that one out. You know? Talking? It's when you move your lips and words come out?" Varric said with humorous mocking.

"Shut up!" Isabela snapped.

Varric simply shrugged. "I'm just trying to help."

Anders nudged Allison on Isabela's direction. "Go to her. I've never seen her look so insecure before. It's disconcerting."

Allison took a hesitant step and then another. Suddenly she just wanted her friend to tell her that everything was going to be alright, that she'd be there with her through this whole thing.

Allison's eyes watered a bit which made scared the crap out of Isabela erasing her discomfiture so she was able to close the distance between them.

Isabela grabbed Allison's shoulders tightly. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Allison shook her head. "No, nothing happened. I'm just scared and nervous and queasy. Did I say scared already?"

"You did." Isabela said trying on a smile. "I can join you on those." Isabela joked. "Are we happy about this at all?"

"Yes we are. It's just vying with fear for the top spot." Allison replied. "I don't suppose you know anything about babies?"

"I know how to avoid having them." Isabela replied before thinking about it, and then winced. "Sorry! That didn't come out the way I intended."

To her surprise Allison laughed. "It's ok. I thought I had foolproof birth control with Mister Warden over there." she said pointing at Anders.

Isabela hooked her arm around Allison's and led her back to the table. Anders followed, marveling at the mercurial nature of women's emotions.

"Varric. " Anders greeted.

"Hey Blondie, or should I say Daddy?" Varric teased, slapping Anders on the back.

Anders felt the familiar dreamy grin on his face. "Yes, I suppose so."

Isabela gagged. "Has he been like this the whole time?"

Allison felt relieved to be able to laugh and joke and Isabela' steady arm entwined with hers made her feel supported.

"Yes. I think the expression is permanent." Allison said.

Anders reached for her hand kissed it, making her smile and making Isabela roll her eyes.

"So, what's the plan?" Varric asked.

Allison and Anders looked at him obviously not following.

"The plan for what?" Anders asked.

"The plan for the new addition. You know? Baby things like, clothes and cradles and toys. That kind of thing." Varric explained.

Isabela felt Allison tense up and rubbed her arm soothingly. "Don't let Varric scare you. You have plenty of time to figure all of that out. Wait, how long _do_ we have Anders?"

"She's about six weeks along so quite a while." Anders answered. He couldn't stop smiling.

"Ugh! I don't think I can handle gooey, smiley Anders for another seven and a half months." Isabela complained. "I may end up killing you."

Anders looked smug and didn't bother to respond to the jibe. Instead he began imagining months of getting the baby's room ready; getting tiny, little clothes and nappies.

"There he goes again." Varric commented, watching Anders' expression melt into one of paternal bliss.

"Oh no. I definitely cannot take this." Isabela protested.

"And you don't have to live with him." Allison said.

"Thank the Maker for that!" Isabela exclaimed but noticed that Allison wasn't as carefree as Anders. "Tell me dear, how are you really doing?"

Allison thought about the answer so it would be the truth. "I'm not as worried about the having a child part as I am about _having_ the child. Know what I mean?"

"Mmmhm. Well, the good part is that your husband is a healer. He can help with the pain and the delivery and all that." Isabela cringed internally at the thought of the various bodily fluids that would be involved.

Varric read her perfectly and started laughing uproariously. "Afraid of a little blood Rivaini? Since when?"

"Since it will be coming out of _her_ and accompanied by a very small, very loud individual!" Isabela replied peevishly.

Allison felt nauseous at the picture Isabela painted and folded her arms on the table, resting her head on them.

Anders snapped out of his fantasizing immediately and started stroking her hair. "Are you alright? Are you feeling sick?"

"Yes, but I think it's all the talk of blood." Allison groaned.

Anders glared at Isabela and Varric like they were naughty children. Varric raised his hands, looking innocent while Isabela glared back before she placed a companionable hand on Allison's back.

Isabela leaned down and spoke softly in her friend's ear. "Just think, you and Anders and Varric and I will get the baby's room ready. We'll have a seamstress make little outfits and we'll buy little toys. And in a few months you'll have a part of you and Anders, and you'll love them more than you've loved anyone in your whole life."

Allison turned her head to face Isabela. "When did you get so mushy and wise?"

Isabela smiled, a quick flash of white teeth against dark skin. "I'm only mushy because it's you. You're my closest friend and that makes your baby very important to me."

Allison sat up. "Aunt Isabela huh?"

Isabela jerked slightly and blinked. "Is it?"

"Oh yea, it definitely is." Allison said, amused to see the pirate look so discombobulated.

Varric chuckled. "Awww, Auntie Isabela? I love it!"

"And Uncle Varric." Allison said, slanting him a look.

"Oh? Me? Well…" Varric stammered a bit. "You don't have to do that."

"Actually we do." Anders said. "The two of you are our family as well and our child will be better off having you in their lives."

Varric actually blushed which was like seeing a cow standing up on two legs.

Isabela smirked at the dwarf. "Mark this date down in history: Varric Tethras blushed like a little girl."

"Stuff it." Varric mumbled as he waved for more drinks. "I know you guys don't drink so we'll celebrate for you."

"I might like being an aunt." Isabela said. "I can teach them all sorts of things like, how to cheat at cards and how to clean a dagger properly. How to tie knots that people can't slip out of."

"Why in the world would they need to know that?" Allison asked.

Isabela's eyes glinted playfully. "There are all sorts of reasons to tie someone up. Most of them quite fun."

"Oh my god." Allison said and put her head down again.

Isabela chortled heartily at the way Anders' face went pale.

"Isabela, that's not funny." Anders chastised. "Now I'm thinking of what else you'll teach them."

"That was the point." Isabela said happily and lifted her glass to Varric. "Here's to being aunts and uncles!"

Varric chuckled darkly just to mess with the expecting parents. "This is gonna be fun."

_**3 AND A HALF MONTHS LATER…**_

Anders and Cullen stood together while the delegates of the conclave filed out of the room. This had been the third meeting in as many months but it had taken that long to come to any sort of agreement on the type of changes that should be instituted in the Circles of Thedas.

Cullen was very firm about what he wanted to see: mages getting more education without being sequestered from the rest of the world.

Anders was also adamant that children who showed magical abilities should not be taken from their parents. Instead the Circle should act as a school where the children go there to be taught but come home at the end of the day to their parents. He also spoke passionately about mages having the right to live freely in society if they've shown themselves not be a danger to anyone.

The conclave had put the arguments to a vote and with the influence of King Alistair several motions had been passed with a caveat:

The Circle in Kirkwall would be a testing ground for the new procedures. Cullen as Knight-Commander would oversee the implementation and report on the progress to the First Enchanters and other Knight-Commanders in Thedas. An advisory board would be formed in Kirkwall to keep watch over the Circle and settle any difficulties that would come up during the transition. Cullen would chair it and Grand Cleric Elthina would also serve. It was up to Cullen to make the other appointments.

Questions about the validity of the Harrowing were still being discussed but at least they had made some headway.

If the experiment in Kirkwall was successful then the changes would be implemented in the other Circles. There was a lot riding on Cullen making this work and he felt the burden of it even as he looked forward to bringing about a more peaceful existence between Templars and mages.

"Anders, I wish to speak with you privately." Cullen said, motioning towards his office.

The two men walked in companionable silence, each deep in thought about what they had accomplished. Anders took the seat offered him while Cullen poured them both a cup of water.

"I have a proposal to make and I want you to think about it very seriously." Cullen said, taking a seat next to Anders instead of behind his desk.

"What is it?" Anders inquired, wondering what the Templar could want of him.

"I want you to come on board as an advisor and as a teacher here at the Gallows." Cullen announced.

Anders almost choked on the water he was drinking. "You want me to what?"

"You heard me." Cullen smiled. "I need you here to help me make this work. I need good teachers, ones I can trust and that's you. And I need someone on the board who knows what it's like on both sides, being an apostate and being in the Circle."

Anders rubbed a hand over the back of his neck while he thought. "But I'm a healer Cullen. That's what I want to do."

Cullen waved his argument away. "You can still do that. With most of the refugees gone back to Ferelden, your clinic can't be taking up as much of your time. Kirkwall is the testing ground and that means that the citizens will need to get used to seeing mages out and about. You would be free to offer your services to all members of the community, not just those in Darktown."

"You would let me heal publicly?" Anders asked in astonishment.

"I will." Cullen promised. "Everything depends on what we do here. If we really want to change things, we've got to get it right, here in Kirkwall."

Anders' mind boggled at the novelty of not having to hide his gift. If someone was hurt he wouldn't have to look furtively around to see if it was safe to cast magic. He could just heal them.

Anders sought out Justice who was very close to surface after Cullen's bold statement.

"What do you think?" Anders asked the spirit.

"**Cullen has shown himself to be trustworthy. If he will support you then we could accomplish everything we've sought for mages. True freedom and purpose**." Justice proclaimed with immense satisfaction.

To Cullen he said, "Alright, I'll do it."

Cullen was pleased. "This will be hard work. You'll earn your wages with sweat and possibly tears."

"My wages?" Anders repeated.

Cullen lifted a brow. "I know that you're used to getting paid with livestock or embroidery but this is the Circle. We are funded by the Chantry and the Chantry pays its teachers."

"Oh…well I hadn't thought of that." Anders admitted. He would have done it for free.

Cullen smiled warmly. "It will help you take care of the little one."

Anders laughed. "I wasn't worried about it. With the soup kitchen no longer being needed, Allison's been making runes like a madwoman and they're selling quite nicely. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Sandal opened a store together."

"She is very skilled. One-of-a kind indeed." Cullen agreed.

Anders came home that night tired but elated at the same time.

"Allison?' he called and heard her respond from the bedroom.

A warm fire crackled in the hearth and she was laying in the bed dressed in a diaphanous white night gown, cut low to show off the smooth skin of her shoulders.

She had been forced to start wearing dresses when she began showing so she had insisted that the seamstress make gowns that she liked instead of the ones native to Thedas. They were much more functional and comfortable than the traditional garb worn by women in Kirkwall.

Her hair was loose, curling slightly, much longer now than when she had first come to Kirkwall.

Anders thought she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

His voice was gentle when he crossed to sit next to her.

"How are you today my love?" he murmured, kissing her softly.

"Good. I've been reading to the baby." she replied, smiling.

"Oh? What took your fancy this evening?" Anders asked. Allison had told him that in her world doctors had discovered that babies could hear voices when in the womb and she had encouraged him to talk to the baby freely.

It had been a little strange talking to her stomach but Anders had loved the idea of their child getting to know his voice so early.

"I decided on The Book of Shartan for tonight." she said with a laugh.

"And how did that go over with the little one?" Anders asked.

Allison looked down at her stomach. "I'm not sure yet."

Anders leaned down and placed his hand on her belly, speaking to it. "Did you enjoy your mother reading to you about the elves?" he asked.

"Oh!" Allison sucked in a breath with wide eyes. "Did you feel that?"

Anders' eyes were just as big as hers. "I..I did. Did he just kick?"

Allison laughed breathlessly. "I think so. Say something again!"

"Like what?" Anders asked, his mind going blank.

"I don't know. Tell them what you did today." Allison urged, going very still so she could feel any movement.

Anders knelt again. "Um…well, Cullen asked me to teach at the Gallows and to sit on the board."

"He did?" Allison exclaimed. "That's amazing! Will you do it?"

"Yes. It's a wonderful opportunity to help make our dreams a reality for the rest of Thedas." Anders said. "I couldn't say no."

"I'm glad you accepted Anders. This is going to be amazing for you. I'm so proud of you!" Allison said, stroking his cheek with her hand.

There it was again!

"That was definitely a kick!" Anders shouted gleefully.

"Absolutely!" Allison agreed.

They both grinned like idiots.

"Let me take a look and she what he or she is up to since they're so active tonight." Anders said, placing his hands on Allison's stomach.

He closed his eyes and focused his magic on her womb. It had become a bit easier to see the baby past the magical barrier, almost as if the baby had become familiar with his magic and was letting him through.

Inside Allison their child had developed and looked very much like a person. Anders could see their head, their tiny body and even their fingers. The baby was making sucking motions with its mouth and Anders felt his throat tighten with emotion.

Allison always watched when Anders examined her and she saw the muscles in his face flex. His breathing sped up and he swallowed a few times.

"Is everything ok?" she asked, starting to worry.

Anders opened shining eyes and could hardly speak. "Everything's wonderful. They're…fantastic." and he described what he had seen.

Allison hugged him. "I think I'm supposed to be the emotional one." She laughed.

"I know. This pregnancy has turned me into a weeping simpleton." Anders said. "And I think I'm eating more than you are."

Allison patted his back. "Thank goodness for Warden metabolism."

"Would you still love me if I was fat?" Anders teased.

"Will you still love me when _I'm_ fat?" Allison returned.

"I will _adore_ you when you're fat." Anders promised. "Besides, your breasts have gotten a lot bigger."

He cracked up laughing when Allison smacked him several times and he pretended to cower in fear.

"You are such a man!" she said, flushing from the exertion.

"And you are incredibly beautiful." Anders said seriously.

Allison harrumphed. "Sure butter me up with compliments to get out of trouble."

"Would you like to punish me? I have several ideas." Anders offered.

"I bet you do." Allison retorted.

"Being a Warden is good for more than metabolism Sweetheart."

_**A Month Later**_

"Can you see anything?" Allison asked impatiently.

Anders concentrated but it wasn't the magic that was the problem. "He's not cooperating."

"You don't know that it's a _he_, that's the whole point of this." Allison complained.

Anders was examining her and Allison had hoped that they could find out the gender of the baby by now, but the little one refused to show themselves. Every time Anders tried to look they were turned so he couldn't see.

"I would almost swear that they were doing this on purpose if they weren't too young to accomplish it." Anders said in frustration.

He finally gave up. "I'm sorry Love, but I just can't tell yet."

Allison folded her arms. "Damn it! Apparently they're as stubborn as their father!"

"Me?" Anders pointed at himself. "That's all you Sweetheart."

Allison stuck her tongue out but there was nothing they could do to make the baby turn so there was no point in pouting about it.

Allison carefully shifted her weight to get out of bed so she could get on with her day. With all the ships coming to port in Kirkwall she and Sandal and Bodhan had seen an opportunity to export the runes, weapons and jewelry that they made. Allison wanted to put together a collection showcasing their best work for a meeting they had at the customs office with a captain from Orlais.

Anders watched Allison get dressed for her meeting and felt a nagging worry.

"Are you sure you should be going to see this captain? I'd rather you stayed here and let Bodhan and Sandal handle it."

Allison felt the anger hit her like a two-by-four and she spun around, her teeth bared.

"I am not staying cooped up in this house while you go off to the Gallows! I want to work, I _need_ to work and I'll be damned if I sit here and knit booties just so _you_ feel better!" she yelled.

Anders knew his mouth was opening and closing with no words forthcoming. Allison took advantage of his flustered silence and advanced on him, poking him in the chest with her finger.

"I'm not interested in sitting around with my feet up, getting fat and doing nothing. And if you think you're keeping me locked up in this house, I'd love to see you try it!"

She paused for a minute, breathing hard, and then her face completely rearranged itself into an expression of longing.

"I would really love some pickled eggs from the market. I'm going to get some. Do you want anything?" she asked pleasantly.

Anders wasn't sure if she was joking or serious. She was smiling angelically at him like she hadn't just been tearing off a piece of his hide a second ago.

"Ummm…no?" Anders replied cautiously.

"Ok, then I'll see you later. Have a good day." She rose up on tiptoes to kiss him and walked out.

Anders stayed where he was, afraid that if he followed too soon after her the other version of his wife might come back.

Justice was curious.

"**Apparently her hormones also work this way then**?" he asked.

"Yes, they do. It's a gamble." Anders said.

"**I would advise you against suggesting that she stay home in the future**." Justice recommended.

"Yes, I got that, thank you Justice!" Anders responded petulantly.

"**Are **_**your**_** hormones behaving properly**?" the spirit asked with what could have been a mocking tone.

"I would hit you, but I'd only hurt myself." Anders grumbled.

Anders could have sworn that Justice laughed quietly.

_**3 MONTHS LATER…**_

It was a quiet, peaceful evening and Allison was sleeping soundly, which was good as her back had been aching during the day. Anders had given her an herbal blend for the pain and a backrub which had turned sensual and ended up with the two of them being tangled in the sheets together.

Allison was nestled against him, her back to him and Anders splayed his hand over the firmness of her belly. He closed his eyes and let the sounds of fireflies buzzing outside in the night air and the soft breeze that was just outside their open window soothe him to sleep.

He was awakened by a warm glow that appeared in his mind, unobtrusive but very clear. He saw the form of their child inside Allison. The baby's eyes were partially open and a fine down of hair was sprinkled on their head. Their fingers flexed and their legs kicked but what got Anders' attention was the swirl of energy forming patterns around them.

_What is going on?_ He wondered.

He watched more closely and noticed that whenever the child moved, the energy patterns shifted in either color or direction.

The baby watched the show of light with half-closed eyes and Anders stared in awe. He didn't think that they were fully aware of what they were doing, but the fact that they _could_ was mind-boggling.

The energy didn't harm Allison; it seemed to be contained within the environment of the womb.

_Had the baby woken him up with magic?_

It seemed impossible, but it wasn't Anders that had initiated the contact. The connection felt very similar to when two mages worked together on a spell. To do that, the mages had to be familiar with the others particular magic and individual energy.

Certainly after eight months of examinations, the baby could have become in tune with Anders' own energy signature but he was at a loss to explain how an unborn child could connect with him on their own.

Perhaps it was because they were bound by blood? The child had obviously inherited magic from him, along with whatever uniqueness came from Allison and possibly Justice. The combination may have been enough to allow them to reach out, unwittingly, to connect with him.

Because they knew him.

"I can't wait to meet you." Anders said softly.

He watched them play until the energy fluttered like wings and finally went out. Their eyelids closed and Anders watched them sleep. His heart felt full and capable of bursting.

He could have never imagined all those years ago that escaping the Circle would have led to this. The Chantry's old argument that magic was a sign of the Maker's hatred couldn't have been more untrue.

The proof of that was lying in his arms, sleeping peacefully.

Anders kissed Allison's temple gently, knowing that she wouldn't hear him when he whispered,

"Thank you."

***I know this was all very mushy and I apologize for it. The birth will be more…dramatic, I promise.***


	47. Chapter 47 Birth Day

***Just a disclaimer: I have never had kids so I'm just going off my imagination and whatever I've picked up from movies. Also, I know that most newborns have blue eyes but this is Thedas so I'll do it my way lol.***

You Don't Have To Stand Alone

Chapter 47 – Birth Day

When Allison opened her eyes and squinted at the bright morning light, she had a fuzzy memory that Anders had kissed her goodbye before leaving for the Gallows.

How strange was that thought! Anders _willingly_ going to the Gallows. What a difference a year makes.

The Kirkwall Circle was still the focus of the eyes of First Enchanters, Templars and Chantry hierarchy everywhere. There had been some mishaps and some grief as well as victories and successes there.

Cullen, Anders and the board had been unable to decide if the Harrowing should still be required and so it was suggested that they test allowing mages to pass on from apprenticeship to full members without undergoing the ritual. It was thought that knowing a Templar was waiting to kill you would continue to strain relationships between the two groups.

Several of the apprentice mages that graduated made the transition with no trouble from demons. However one young man who had travelled from Antiva to be trained fell victim to temptation in his dreams and awoke as a monster. There were several injuries and much fear from the citizens of Kirkwall when he was loose before the Templars were able to kill him.

Afterwards, it was agreed, even by Anders, that the Harrowing was necessary for the safety of all. Instead they would focus on fully educating young mages on the dangers of demons and how to firm their will to resist their ploys.

The other challenge was helping the townsfolk to accept the presence of mages in their daily lives. For so many centuries magic had been feared by the masses and it would take time for them to feel safe with mages walking the streets.

There had been some incidences of violence when nervous citizens in Kirkwall had attacked mages wondering the city. The guard had to be called in and the redheaded woman that Allison had met earlier had been quick to shut down the mob.

It would be a slow process but at least it had begun.

The change that made both Allison and Anders the happiest was that children were no longer taken from their parents when they showed magical abilities. That was especially vital for them as their child was showing such abilities in utero.

They would not lose their child to the Circle. Anders would be able to teach them at home and when they were old enough, they would go to the school at the Circle and come home to their parents at the end of each day.

Allison was incredibly thankful that she had met Cullen a year ago. If it hadn't been for him and for his sense of honor and rightness, she and Anders would likely have had to run away from Kirkwall to protect their child. As it was, now they had a home, she had a business and Anders had a calling.

Allison grimaced as she heaved herself out of bed, glad that no one was around to see her looking so frumpy.

Anders had continued to look at her like she was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen, no matter how big she got. His eyes would go soft and he would stare at her like it was the first time. Allison on the other hand avoided mirrors if at all possible. She didn't need to be reminded of her girth since she hadn't seen her feet in a long time.

She had however tried to stay active and being in a world that had no forms of transportation besides horses and boats made it very easy. She had to walk everywhere and that had kept her healthy.

Allison stripped out of her night gown and drew a bath to clean up. Afterwards she dressed in a rose colored cotton gown with a high waist. She had been the first to bring empire waistlines to Kirkwall and perhaps to Thedas, but she couldn't be sure. Of course she couldn't take the credit form the idea but no one on in this world knew that.

There were no maternity clothes lines here so she'd had to make due with a skilled seamstress who could thankfully picture what Allison had had in mind.

After a breakfast of toast from bread that she had baked the previous day and fruit that Varric had been nice enough to drop off for her, Allison felt like getting in a morning walk before settling down to look over orders Bodhan and Sandal had brought over for merchants in Ferelden who were interested in buying their merchandise. Allison bit her lip while the idea that had been nagging her for quite some time planted itself in her brain once again.

She missed cooking. Yes, she cooked at home for Anders but her dream had always been to have her own place; a restaurant or catering company of her own. Since landing in Thedas her priorities had obviously shifted. First she had been chiefly concerned about how the hell she had gotten there, then she had been sideswiped by falling in love. Fast-forward to the present and she found herself with a comfortable savings and wish to try and use to open a restaurant in Kirkwall.

The timing was ridiculous of course. She was very pregnant and would soon be a mother with a newborn, but that didn't mean that sometime in the future she wouldn't be able to pursue her dream. There was no reason to give it up and she knew that Anders would support her in anything she chose to do.

Satisfied that she would have something interesting to consider at a later time, Allison got a strange yen to bother Isabela. She knew the pirate didn't normally wake until noon unless there was a job and it never ceased to amuse Allison to see Isabela with bed hair, swearing copiously when Allison dragged her out of bed at what she considered an ungodly hour.

The hour was usually something like ten 'o clock so Allison didn't feel very guilty about it. Sometimes Isabela got her revenge by introducing Allison to a very naked man, sometimes two naked men. One could never be sure what or who you'd find in Isabela's room if you came without warning so Allison accepted the risk.

She walked down the road, the morning air was crisp, and opened the door the Hanged Man. Not for the first time, Allison wished that Isabela would find a nicer place to live, Varric too, but they both seemed content to stay there.

Allison figured it was because Isabela was still determined to get a new ship. In fact she had been making inquiries over the last few months with the ship captains that had been docking in Kirkwall.

Allison had been alarmed at the thought that Isabela might leave but then she had immediately felt guilty because she knew how much Isabela missed the open sea.

Isabela had noticed Allison's reticence and had promised her that even if she set sail again, Kirkwall would always be her home port and if Allison and Anders moved away someday, she would drop anchor wherever her friends were.

Their friendship was secure and Allison hoped that Isabela got her wish.

Upstairs, Allison knocked as loud as she dared on Isabela's door. Isabela wasn't the only person sleeping off their drink and Allison had no desire to have plates or glasses thrown at her head by grouchy patrons sleeping over.

The door cracked open and Allison saw Isabela's eye peering through the crack.

"You had better be in labor if you're bothering me this early in the day." Isabela said in a sleep roughened voice.

"Don't be so grumpy." Allison made her voice as cheery as possible knowing it would irk Isabela. "Are you going to let me in?"

"I hate you." Isabela grumbled, stepping away from the door so Allison could enter.

"No you don't." Allison shut the door behind her, surprised to see that Isabela was alone. "No sleepover last night?"

Isabela muttered something incoherent under her breath and Allison heard water splashing behind the screen that divided the room.

"Will you take a walk with me?" Allison called out so Isabela could hear her.

Isabela's head peeked around the screen, her hair was wet and she still looked half asleep.

"Walking? You want to go walking, in the morning?" Her tone conveyed that morning was not a real time of day in her world.

"Well there's this thing called the sun, it comes out every day and sometimes it's nice to walk in it." Allison said drolly.

"If I dumped this bowl of water on your head would you shut up?" Isabela asked sweetly.

"Probably not." Allison said just as sweetly. "Come on! Take a walk with me. I don't want to waddle around all by myself."

Isabela stepped out, fully dressed and rolled her eyes at Allison's faux pout.

"That face will not work on me Dear." Isabela said, strolling to the bed to pull on her boots. "But I will go with you just to watch you carry that freight you call a belly."

"My, my, bitchy this morning aren't we?" Allison said haughtily.

Isabela ignored her and they left the tavern together with Isabela squinting at the sun as if it offended her.

"Where are you dragging me to?" Isabela asked.

"Why don't we go to the docks? The water will probably cheer you up." Allison suggested.

Isabela made a non-committal sound but seemed willing enough.

At the docks, the seagulls were swooping gracefully over the water, trying to catch fish and several new ships had docked and were unloading cargo.

The two women walked along the pier and Isabela's mood improved substantially as she started commenting on the various ship designs.

Allison was happy to indulge her since she had woken Isabela up in the first place. The morning air was brisk and she was just happy to up and around.

They took a turn and walked along the path in front of the pier warehouses. One of the double doors leading to a storage facility was open and Allison heard raised voices coming from inside the building.

Before she could mention it to Isabela there was a loud thump from inside the building and a gold bowl came rolling out and landed at Allison's feet.

"What the heck is this?" she asked.

Isabela picked it up and whistled. "This, my Dear, is a holy Chantry washing bowl from Orlais. The clerics use it to wash their hands. They think that Andraste has blessed the water or something. But look at the jewels on the side." she said pointing out gemstones set along the bowls outer edge.

Allison goggled at it, knowing that it had to be worth thousands of sovereigns.

The raised voices continued but were getting closer. Five men with unshaven faces exited the warehouse carrying a body. Allison couldn't tell if the person was alive or dead but when the men saw them they dropped it.

Isabela swore and Allison knew that they were in trouble.

"What the hell are you two doing out here?" the man to their right said. His accent was thick and it sounded like he was from Nevarra to Isabela's ears.

She stepped forward, pushing Allison behind her, the bowl still in her right hand. Normally she wouldn't worry about taking on five people but Allison was with her and the situation was too dangerous to expose her to.

"We were just taking a lovely walk. My friend here is pregnant and she wanted to get out of the house." Isabela hoped that the possibility of hurting a pregnant woman would cause the obvious thieves to rethink their next step.

Isabela knew that they had stumbled onto a robbery, she recognized the body that now laid limp on the ground as being Pete, one of the foremen on the pier.

Several of the men did actually give Allison a look and they seemed squeamish but the brute who was looking more like the leader didn't appear to care.

There was going to be a fight.

Instead of waiting for them to strike first, Isabela swung the bowl at the leaders' head, connecting with his skull with a satisfying bang.

"Get back!" Isabela ordered Allison. She needed her as far away from the struggle as possible.

Allison stumbled back at Isabela command. She couldn't believe that they had gone from a peaceful walk to an altercation in the blink of an eye. She couldn't help Isabela for several reasons, including the fact that she hadn't carried her dagger with her for many months now. Even if she had, there was no way that she could fight in her condition.

Isabela was surrounded by all five men, though the leader was still holding his head after she had bashed it in.

Allison could only do one thing so she started calling out for help. They were down a ways from the main docks but maybe a workman would hear her.

One of the thieves heard her and broke off from the fray to grab hold Allison's arm. He spun her around so that her back was to him and slapped a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet.

Allison instinctively struggled against his hold, but he was very strong.

She kicked at his shins and tried to elbow him which just pissed him off. He pulled her backwards so that she was on tiptoes while he held he kept her quiet. Allison screamed behind his hand which was now covering her nose as well. She couldn't breathe.

She could taste his skin which gave her an idea.

Allison bit down on his hand as hard as she could until she tasted blood. The man screamed like a banshee and released her to nurse his injury. Allison spit the blood out of her mouth, wiping a hand across her lips.

"You bitch!" the man cried and Allison fell forward when he shoved her from behind.

She landed on her knees hard, and felt the impact reverberate throughout her body.

The thief's fellow thugs had looked over when he screamed and Isabela took advantage of their inattention to kick the leader I the face, taking him down for good, and then sunk her blade into one of the men on her left.

That left two in Isabela's immediate vicinity. She slit one man's throat before kicking the other in the groin and punching him in the head with the hilt of her weapon. He was down for the count.

Isabela saw that Allison was on the ground and the pirate saw red.

She ran full steam towards him and tackled him to the ground, using her fists to pummel him while he lay under her yelling. She hit him until he didn't move anymore and she would have continued but Allison's cry had her moving quickly to her friend's side.

The pain in Allison's stomach was so intense that she could barely draw breath. When she had hit the ground there had been a sensation of a white hot lance piercing her inside. The pain had practically blinded her.

All she could do was crouch on the ground, her arm wrapped protectively around her stomach, while the pain washed over her like a tide.

Isabela knelt in front of Allison anxiously. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Allison tried to get enough oxygen to respond but it was difficult. "It hurts…Isabela…get me… home!"

Isabela immediately took Allison by both arms and pulled her up. It was awkward because of Allison's added weight but they managed to get upright. Isabela put Allison's left arm over her shoulders and took on as much of body weight as she could.

They made it a few steps when Allison moaned again.

"Wait! Ahhhh!" Allison bent over at the waist and that's when she saw blood running down her legs.

Isabela followed her gaze and blanched. "Oh no!"

Isabela didn't bother to wait for Allison to be ready, she just started moving as fast as she could carry her, back towards Allison's house.

Isabela swore the entire way. Because it was early there weren't many people on the streets to enlist for help so Isabela gritted her teeth and half carried, half dragged Allison all the way home.

They staggered inside the house and Isabela helped Allison into bed. The sheets were immediately soaked in blood and Isabela was pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. At least not that much.

"Oh god! Ahhhh!" Allison screamed as she writhed in pain. "Oh god, something's wrong!"

"What do I do?" Isabela exclaimed. Something was definitely wrong, even she could see that.

"Get Anders!" Allison shouted, curling up into a ball on the bed, her gown stained red. "At the Gallows!"

"I can't leave you here like this! You're bleeding!" Isabela argued.

"Ohhhhh! God! Just get him. He's the only one who can help us!" Allison insisted. Her face was wet with tears and she was pale.

Isabela didn't waste time arguing. She took off at a dead run. When she reached the boat she cursed the time it would take to cross the water.

Isabela practically attacked the oarsman. "Get me to the Gallows as fast as possible!"

The man looked at her as if she were made. "No need to get so antsy Miss."

Isabela grabbed the man's neck and squeezed. "Do you know Anders?"

The man's eyes were bugging out but he nodded.

"His pregnant wife is bleeding to death right now. Get. Me. To. !" Isabela growled.

She released him and the man rowed like his life depended on it, which it did.

Isabela didn't wait for the boat to be tied down, she leapt off and ran across the courtyard which was mostly empty.

The gate to the Circle was no longer locked in a bid to make the mages within feel less restricted. Isabela raced through the raised bars and started shouting.

"Where's Anders? Where is Anders?"

Several Templars looked startled but they pointed up the stairs and she followed. There was a large white door which opened into a room where a group of mages were seated in a semicircle.

Anders stood at a podium and looked up in alarm at the commotion. One look at Isabela's face though had him moving swiftly towards her.

"Where is Allison?" he asked, his face tight with fear.

"She's at home. There was an accident." Isabela said between gasps for breath. "She's bleeding."

No other words were needed. Anders grabbed his staff and ran out leaving his students behind. He and Isabela made for the boat as quickly as possible and once on board Anders turned to Isabela.

"What happened?" he asked urgently.

Isabela wiped the sweat dripping down her face. "We went for walk down by the docks. Some men were robbing one of the warehouses and they attacked us. One of them shoved her and then she started screaming and there was blood running down her legs."

Anders lifted a shaking hand to his head. His mind started working through what could cause the bleeding so he would be ready when he walked in the door. He would not lose Allison now!

"If she fell then it could be a tearing of the placenta." he said to himself. "I may not have time to repair the damage. We may have to get the baby out immediately."

He could lose them both.

Anders' head fell into his hands helplessly before he realized something.

"She's alone? She's alone at the house?" he said in horror.

Isabela felt miserable. "There was no choice. I had to get you."

"So you left her there, bleeding!" Anders roared.

Isabela stood up ,towering over him ,her anger blazing hot. "Do you think I wanted to? I had to carry her home while she screamed and bled. I did what I had to do to get help!"

Anders tried to shake off the images in his mind of his wife dying alone, and in pain because he was too late.

When they docked on the mainland Anders and Isabela ran as fast as they could. People were starting to mill around the town but they shoved their way past the throngs, ignoring the shouts of irritation by those they ruffled.

Anders burst in the front door and ran to the bedroom. Allison was in a tight ball on the bed, her arms wrapped around her middle while she wept. The sheets were red with blood and Anders' own went cold.

"Allison!" he climbed on the bed and gently pried her hands away from her stomach. "Love, I need to look at you."

Allison moaned but couldn't speak, the pain was too much.

"Isabela, take the passage in the basement and go to the clinic. Grab the empty sack by the table and grab every bottle on the first shelf and the first three bottles on the third shelf. Do you understand?" Anders ordered.

"Yes." Isabela hurried downstairs.

Anders helped Allison to turn onto her back. Her face was pinched by the pain and her hair was damp with sweat.

"Everything's going to be alright. I promise." Anders whispered. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"Anders…you have to get him out. Something's wrong." Allison panted before another spasm rocked her.

"AHHHHH!"

Her scream shredded Anders' composure and he had to fight to hold onto what little calm he could muster. He would be of no help to Allison or the baby if he lost it now.

Anders placed his hands over Allison's stomach and let the picture form in his mind.

The placenta had partially separated from the uterus causing bleeding. They had to get the baby out now! Thankfully the baby was head first so the birth wouldn't be breech.

"Allison?" Anders stroked her forehead and tried to control the shaking of his hand. "Love, we have to get the baby out. I know that you're scared but we have to do this."

Allison felt the ripples of the contractions tighten her stomach but all she could think of was losing her baby.

"I want to push…help me!" Allison cried out again and bore down the way her body was telling her to.

Anders moved to the foot of the bed and pushed the hem of Allison's gown up to her hips. He stripped off her underwear and swore because she had already lost a lot of blood.

The sound of Isabela's footsteps on the stairs was like music. She ran in carrying the sack full of medicine and potions.

"Take them out and put them on the table." Anders instructed. "Then go to the washroom and fill a bowl with water and bring cloths to dampen."

Isabela did as she was told and returned with the bowl and cloths.

"Put them on the dresser. Now go to the nursery. In the cabinet you'll see swaddling clothes. Bring them."

Isabela returned quickly and laid the clothes on the table next to Anders.

"Good, now grab that tall red bottle, yes there, and help Allison to drink some of it. About three swallows ought to do." Anders explained.

Isabela grabbed the bottle and helped to support Allison's upper body while she drank the potion. Almost immediately, the pains lessened to a more bearable degree.

Allison went limp with relief. "Oh, thank God! That's better."

Anders smiled in encouragement. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Allison took deep breaths. Her body felt weak but their child needed her to do this.

"Isabela, can you get behind her and keep her supported while she pushes?" Anders asked.

"Yes!" Isabela scrambled to get in a good position. "Well, you certainly know how to do things dramatically don't you?" she teased while her heart raced.

Allison laughed tiredly. "Yes, I'm such a diva."

Her stomach tightened again and she gritted her teeth, bearing down.

"Good!" Anders praised. "Again!"

Isabela's hands were on either side of her, directly underneath and Allison took hold of them to help her push.

"Ow! You weren't this strong before you got pregnant!" Isabela yelped.

Allison rested between contractions. "Would you rather switch places?"

"Point taken, but I'll have to have your husband heal my hands after this. I can't play cards with broken fingers." Isabela whined.

Anders probed Allison's stomach and felt another contraction coming.

"Alright Love, get ready to push again." he warned and grimaced as she screamed. He didn't think he could go through this again, it was too much. He couldn't stand seeing her in so much pain.

Several more contractions racked her body and Anders told Isabela to give her another dose of the potion.

Allison lay limply against Isabela breathing so hard she was dizzy. "Anders…I'm so tired."

Anders moved swiftly to Allison's side and held her face in his hands, running his thumbs over her cheekbones.

"I know Love, I know. But you can do this. I _know_ you can do this." he kissed her forehead. "Just a few more and it will be over. You're strong. You can do this."

Allison wanted to believe him but she was so tired.

"C'mon." Isabela said firmly. "Up you go. You've got everyone all excited to see this baby, so let's do it."

Anders smiled, though his lips trembled. "That's right. You want to meet them don't you?"

Allison could only nod because another contraction was coming hard.

"Ahhhh!" she grunted and pushed.

Anders returned to the foot of the bed and this time he saw the crown of the baby's head. His heart started pumping like crazy.

He could see his child's head!

"Maker! I can see them!" he exclaimed. "Push! Push, Allison!"

Allison felt a stretching sensation and a burning as the baby's head began to push through. It was worse than the other pain.

"Oh god! It hurts!"

"I know but it will get better once the head is out." Anders promised. "Push!"

Allison pushed and her body did the rest. She felt a relief as the baby's head emerged, the pain lessening in intensity. She continued to push hoping that it was almost over.

Anders held the infant under the shoulders and Allison pushed again.

"That's it!" Anders' voice was tremulous.

The room filled with the cries of a newborn.

Allison exhaled and let her body fall back in exhaustion.

Anders couldn't see because he was crying so he blinked a few times to clear his vision. The tiny form in his arms waved their clenched fists around like they were angry at being bothered.

Upon seeing the scrunched up face, wrinkled in indignation, Anders started laughing in happiness.

Isabela craned her neck to see. "What is it?"

Anders realized he had been too emotional to look. He gently adjusted the infant in his arms and grinned broadly.

"It's a girl!" he announced.

The tiny creature had a beautiful cap of dark hair and wide eyes that looked up at him were a golden brown like his.

"Hello. Hello Sweetheart." Anders crooned softly.

Allison's eyes filled when she heard the baby cry and she felt an exhausted smile on her face.

"Is she alright?" Allison asked weakly.

Anders counted the baby's fingers and toes. She had stopped crying and was now staring up at him with large soulful eyes.

"She's perfect…she's beautiful Allison." Anders whispered. Remembering himself a bit, Anders took a small knife from his right pocket and motioned Isabela to come over.

Isabela balked. "What do you need _me_ for?"

"I need you to cut the cord." Anders explained.

Isabela made a small choking sound but did as she was told. She saw the newborn girl though, and was diverted enough not to be overly disgusted by the task.

"Oh! She _is_ beautiful Allison!" Isabela said in a loving tone no one had heard before.

Allison looked up at the ceiling which seemed to be receding. Her heart felt like it was tripping in her chest and she was very dizzy.

She thought about her baby and she was grateful that her daughter was alive and healthy. The ceiling continued to move further over her head and Allison just wanted to close her eyes and sleep.

"Good…I'm glad…she's….ok" Allison's words slurred and Anders looked up, his heart stopping.

"Take her!" he handed the baby to Isabela and ran to the bottles on the table.

He lifted Allison's head and tipped it back, pouring a thick green liquid down her throat.

"Damn it! Allison, don't do this!" Anders pleaded.

Allison's eyes had fluttered closed and her breathing was erratic. Anders poured another concoction into her mouth and massaged her throat to help her swallow.

"Allison!" Anders called but she didn't open her eyes.

He had been so absorbed in the moment of his daughter's birth that he had neglected to stop the bleeding caused by the separated placenta.

Allison's lips were pale and her chest rose and fell unsteadily.

Anders placed his hands on her belly and focused his magic on replacing the blood she had lost. The potions he had given her were meant to speed up the process and stop her from going into shock.

That is, if he wasn't too late.

"C'mon…open your eyes. Open your eyes and look at me!" Anders beseeched Allison's unconscious form. "Don't do this!"

The baby wailed plaintively in Isabela's arm and she rocked the infant gently while Anders tried to save his wife.

Anders swore and then refocused his energy to keep Allison's heart beating.

_Thud…thud…thud…._

"C'mon…please. Please." Anders whispered over Allison's body. "Don't go."

He pushed his magic into the sluggish muscle and made it pump more forcefully, sending the much needed blood throughout her body.

Allison inhaled deeply and Anders smiled. "That's it, just breathe. I've got you."

They waited several stressful minutes before they could see that Allison was breathing regularly. The bleeding had stopped and the potions were causing her cells to reproduce to give her body what it needed.

Anders closed his eyes and thanked the Maker. He leaned down and kissed Allison's hair, running his hand over it lovingly.

After about twenty minutes she opened her eyes slowly and Anders could finally relax.

"Welcome back. You scared me." he said quietly.

Allison smiled weakly. "Sorry." She looked over anxiously at the baby in Isabela's arms. "Is she okay?"

Anders nodded. "She's fine. Would you like to see her?"

Anders took his daughter from Isabela's arms and washed her with water from the bowl before wrapping her in a small blanket.

The infant didn't cry, she just watched him with an almost patient expression.

Anders brought their child over to Allison and laid her on Allison's chest.

Allison felt her throat tighten as the tiny girl looked into her mother's eyes for the first time.

"Hi Baby." she greeted softly and then laughed. "She has your eyes."

Anders ran a gentle finger over the baby's face. "And not my nose, thank goodness for that!"

"Look at that head of hair!" Allison exclaimed.

Anders nodded. "Just like yours Love."

Allison stared at the tiny face and touched the little hand that was open and waving in the air. Her daughter closed her fingers around Allison's and she felt such strength in that small grasp.

"She's amazing." Allison whispered.

"You're amazing." Anders replied. "You were wonderful."

"I couldn't have done it without you." Allison said and looked up at the woman currently grinning at the three of them. "Or you Isabela. Thank you. You saved us both."

Isabela felt embarrassed moisture sting her eyes so she assumed an air of bravado. "Yes, well, I don't want to hear it the next time you have to lug me home drunk. That was heavy lifting."

"I promise." Allison said knowing full well her friend was trying not to cry.

Anders wanted to make Allison more comfortable so he and Isabela managed to get the soiled sheets off the bed without Allison having to get up and replace them with fresh ones.

Allison put on a night gown and sat up against the headboard, a pillow behind her back, when the baby started making sucking motions with her mouth.

Allison froze not knowing what was happening. "What is she doing?"

Anders smiled. "She's rooting. She's ready to feed."

Allison blinked. "Already? What do I do?"

Isabela cleared her throat. "I think that's my signal to leave."

Anders hurried out to catch Isabela before she could escape.

"Isabela! I wanted to thank you. You were amazing and I couldn't have done it without your help. You saved the two people who mean the most to me in the world. I'll never forget that, and I can never repay you." Anders said sincerely.

Isabela punched him lightly on the arm. "Don't worry about it. I'm glad I was here. That was…incredible."

Anders let her out and returned to the bedroom.

The baby was nursing and Allison was watching her with an expression of reverence. He understood it completely.

"I see you figured it out." Anders commented.

"Well, she's a lot smarter than I am so I just followed her lead." Allison replied.

Anders sat next to her on the bed and put his arm around her shoulders and watched his daughter.

She was a miracle that had been in the making his whole life. Everything that had happened had led him to this point in time, so how could he be angry about any of it?

Anders leaned down and kissed his daughter's head, inhaling the newborn's fragile scent.

"What are we going to call her?" he asked, studying the girl's face which was a perfect blend of both of her parents.

"Well, we discussed a few names and now that I've seen her, I think I like Elizabeth." Allison answered.

"I agree but I think we should add a second name in honor of the aunt who saved the day." Anders suggested.

Allison caught on and smiled. "I think that's a great idea. I still want her to have a last name though. It's just weird how many of you walk around with one name like Cher." At his look Allison shook her head. "Never mind that part."

"Well I don't have one and I can't remember what it would have been anyway so what should it be?" Anders asked.

"Actually I was thinking that your name is perfect." Allison replied.

"Mine?" he repeated.

"Mmhmm. So there's a part of you and where you come from with her. Elizabeth Anders. See ,it sounds elegant." Allison said enthusiastically.

Anders considered it and liked it. "Elizabeth Isabela Anders."

"Right!" Allison agreed. "Isabela's gonna melt when she hears that."

"Yes, it makes me wish we had one of those devices you talked about. A camera?" Anders pulled the word from memory.

Allison began to laugh but she noticed that the baby had dozed off, her head resting against Allison's breast.

They sat quietly watching Elizabeth sleep, wondering if she dreamed already.

Anders brought the cradle into their bedroom so they could be close to her while she slept.

After placing Elizabeth in the cradle Anders laid down and wrapped Allison in his arms.

"This has been the most extraordinary day of my life." he said, yawning.

Allison yawned as well, her body needing rest to recover. "Tell me about it. I had a baby and almost died. It's exhausting."

Anders' arms tightened around her. "I thought I'd lost you. I wouldn't have survived that."

"You won't lose me. I'm not going anywhere." Allison promised.

"I love you…so much." Anders murmured in her ear.

"I love you too." Allison replied. "_Dad_."

She felt his chest move with laughter and let her eyes close as sleep overtook her.

It was twilight when Allison awoke, her body feeling much better than it would have had her husband not been a mage. In Allison's opinion, no woman should have to give birth without the aid of magic.

The sun was below the horizon and Anders had apparently lit some candles for light but Allison didn't see him. She got up carefully and looked in the cradle but Elizabeth wasn't there either. Allison was anxious but not overly worried as she was sure that her daughter was with Anders. Still she needed to see her with her own eyes to make sure.

The house was quiet and peaceful and Allison crept silently down the hall to the nursery where she could see the orange glow of light under the door.

She pushed the door open and found Anders sitting in a chair next to the window, Elizabeth in his arms.

He was making faces at her and she in turn stared up at him like he was the most fascinated thing she'd ever seen. Maybe he was since she was just a few hours old, Allison thought amusingly.

She didn't step into the room. There was something very moving about watching Anders and their daughter bond. She wanted to enjoy it for a little while.

Anders didn't know that Allison was watching him so he continued cooing and nuzzling the baby without self-consciousness.

"You are the most beautiful baby I've ever seen." he said rubbing his nose against Elizabeth's much smaller one. "And I should know, because I've delivered lots of babies."

Elizabeth looked up at him with soft golden eyes, her lashes impossibly long like all babies are; her heart-shaped mouth moving like she was already trying to talk.

Anders thought that if the human heart didn't have the ability to expand to accommodate affection, his would surely have burst by now.

He had fallen in love with his child from the first moment he had seen her, small and indistinct, inside her mother. Now that he could hold her and she was real, his love knew no bounds.

"Let me show you what daddy can do." Anders said conspiratorially, like they were sharing a secret.

Cradling Elizabeth in his left arm, Anders raised his right hand in the air and sparks of magic began to fly from his fingers, forming birds and butterflies and dragons that swept through the air in brilliant colors.

Elizabeth gurgled, her tiny fists flailing and her feet kicking. Anders laughed and kissed her soft cheek.

"You like that don't you?" he said happily. "One day, I will teach you how to do that."

Elizabeth blew bubbles with her mouth which had Anders chuckling. Then the newborn waved her fist in the air and a small string of electric blue crackled above them, waving for a moment as it chased the images Anders had conjured, and then disappearing.

Anders' mouth fell open and that's when he saw Allison standing at the door with the same expression.

Allison spoke first.

"Oh boy."

***That's it! It's over! What did you guys think?**

**I want to thank every single person who has reviewed this story. I literally could not have done this without your support and input. I love all of you!**

**Also please follow this link to DeviantArt because I want you to see a drawing that inspired me. I always thought that Anders would be a great father and this drawing is what I pictured him like with his daughter. It's not for my story but I saw it a while ago and it was perfect:** /d415qbu

**Again, thank you guys so much!***


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